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OFF-TOPIC What are the benefits of being single for an entrepreneur?

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MJ DeMarco

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I'm technically single (legally and tax-wise) but have been living with a domestic partner (wife) for a good 6 years ... have two teenagers living with me.

Obviously when getting started as an entrepreneur, the less responsibility you have, the better your odds of succeeding. That might sound a bit terse, but it is the truth. Kids cost money. Partners want time. However if your partner is a partner in your Unscripted pursuits, it makes the journey much easier, and enjoyable.
 

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Well @absybad, if you read UNSCRIPTED carefully, you'd know the answer.

On a more educational note, here's something that stuck to me out from UNSCRIPTED
(from Chapter 10):

34728

34729

EDIT: MJ himself beat me to it as I was typing this lol.

On the side note, I've been wondering if its more important to pick the lady/gentleman VERY carefully, instead of getting into as many hot chicks/Joes as most seem to do out there. Unfortunately, I haven't got that as a common relationship advice, even from my elders.

EDIT 2:

I've found that very sadly, if you are of a college-age like me, and you want to find a Fastlane-minded/supportive partner, it's very, very hard to do so.

Maybe I'm cliche, but I find that today's girls aren't too interested in defending their lives and families from the scourge of the SCRIPT. They just want fun, fun, fun. Hopefully, they'll grow out of it, as these times get tougher.

Every girl I know lacks vital skills that girls of the past used to have in plentiful...cooking, handiwork and even small business skills. I examined myself, and realise I also lack significant handiwork skills like simple car maintenance (e.g. changing oil) and plumbing...skills that males used to have in plentiful.

So, has my generation gone out of whack? How much will I have to learn (and unlearn) to get up to 'manly speed'-never mind the ladies?
 
Last edited:

Fiftytwos

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Well @absybad, if you read UNSCRIPTED carefully, you'd know the answer.

On a more educational note, here's something that stuck to me out from UNSCRIPTED
(from Chapter 10):

View attachment 34728

View attachment 34729

EDIT: MJ himself beat me to it as I was typing this lol.

On the side note, I've been wondering if its more important to pick the lady/gentleman VERY carefully, instead of getting into as many hot chicks/Joes as most seem to do out there. Unfortunately, I haven't got that as a common relationship advice, even from my elders.

EDIT 2:

I've found that very sadly, if you are of a college-age like me, and you want to find a Fastlane-minded/supportive partner, it's very, very hard to do so.

Maybe I'm cliche, but I find that today's girls aren't too interested in defending their lives and families from the scourge of the SCRIPT. They just want fun, fun, fun. Hopefully, they'll grow out of it, as these times get tougher.

Every girl I know lacks vital skills that girls of the past used to have in plentiful...cooking, handiwork and even small business skills. I examined myself, and realise I also lack significant handiwork skills like simple car maintenance (e.g. changing oil) and plumbing...skills that males used to have in plentiful.

So, has my generation gone out of whack? How much will I have to learn (and unlearn) to get up to 'manly speed'-never mind the ladies?
It's very important to carefully choose who you let into your life, relationships, especially romantic ones, can be large time and money sinks. You should focus on bringing only high value people into your life if you can help it (I know, easier said than done). To do that though you should focus on making yourself a high value person first, build your business, focus on your goals, hit those milestones, build the life you want first. Then explore bringing a high value partner into your life, don't change your life to accommodate a partner, many people fall into that trap and end up unhappy (I made this mistake in the past). Instead, focus on making your life the way you want it, then invite that high value person to join you on your journey, bring them into your orbit, let them be part of the life you've worked so hard to build yourself. Some people are value takers and don't provide much value to you, it's a lot like business in a way, you want to build relationships where you both provide value, and end the ones that aren't valuable for you.

In response to your second statement, people's priories have shifted when it comes to those skills you're talking about, but that doesn't mean everyone doesn't have them anymore. Surround yourself with the kinds of people who know those skills, want to find women who know how to cook? Join a cooking group or class in your free time, put yourself in situations where people with the skills you're looking for will be present! As a bonus, you'll be building those skills for yourself, while also being surrounded by others who are also learning those skills that you can communicate / network with. There even might be girls there for you to meet (but don't expect this).
 

lwg8tr0514

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I'm technically single (legally and tax-wise) but have been living with a domestic partner (wife) for a good 6 years ... have two teenagers living with me.

Obviously when getting started as an entrepreneur, the less responsibility you have, the better your odds of succeeding. That might sounds a bit terse, but it is the truth. Kids cost money. Partners want time. However if your partner is a partner in your Unscripted pursuits, it makes the journey much easier, and enjoyable.
Ditto, we are about the same age. I have been living with my domestic partner for 6 years also. We own our home free and clear. She is the best woman I have been with. Supportive, sexy, fun, caring, kind, and knows boundaries. Helps to have someone in your corner when you are building an empire. I came out of a 19-year marriage and it went out with a whimper and I felt lost. I had to get right in the head that a woman DOES NOT make the man. I am not all MGTOW(those guys are full of shit also) now as I love being with women.

After my marriage ended in 2011 I had a spell of dating beautiful women for their looks and wealth only. One was a guy's dream(You'd think), we met curious enough on a line at a Starbucks, we had a pithy moment that she says got her immediately aroused. She was wealthy and retired at 45, as she had owned about 30 franchises here in the Pittsburgh and sold them for well into 8 figures. She was hot(big fake boobs and rocking bod), was into ANYTHING sexually(I will not elaborate here), took me on trips, and bought lavish gifts. Ultimately I found out through her abusive and wildly oscillating moods, that she was a malignant narcissist and really destroyed my confidence. Or should I say I GAVE AWAY my self-respect and lost my confidence. I spent 3 years trying to please her, be someone I was not. After a night of drunken sex and watching her makeout with strippers and a semi-famous porn star at a NYC strip club, I had a sober moment and broke up with her and moved out that week. I probably could have married her and had access to her 8 figure bank account, her 8 series BMW andher 500hp AMG Mercedes coupe, and a beach house in the Florida Keys with a 29-foot boat hanging from the davits, but I would have died inside. I felt emasculated in that relationship.

To today..my kids and my partner's kids are grown and out of the house and I feel like I am 21 and free again..albeit with a little less hair and finding a night home reading over clubbing till 4am with strippers. I have a great relationship with the ex and her new hubby. I value different things today, like being authentic everyday and offering value to everything I do and keeping promises. Am I blissful every day?...no of course not. I have my "black dog" days as Winston Churchill used to say. But I have purpose and my shit together and ready to second act myself in building something YUGE.
 

Beerbread

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I agree with everything mentioned. Admittedly, as much as I want a relationship, I'm in no position to do so. I got tired of bending over backwards to appease someone that took my value, but gave me nothing in return. Sometimes it's lonely, but I'd rather be single than to get involved with someone toxic and egocentric. I also have a tendency to obsess over the girl and drop my progress, so I've avoided dating altogether until I get my crap together.
 
OP
OP
A

absybad

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I'm technically single (legally and tax-wise) but have been living with a domestic partner (wife) for a good 6 years ... have two teenagers living with me.

Obviously when getting started as an entrepreneur, the less responsibility you have, the better your odds of succeeding. That might sounds a bit terse, but it is the truth. Kids cost money. Partners want time. However if your partner is a partner in your Unscripted pursuits, it makes the journey much easier, and enjoyable.
holy guacamole didn't expect that
 
OP
OP
A

absybad

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It's very important to carefully choose who you let into your life, relationships, especially romantic ones, can be large time and money sinks. You should focus on bringing only high value people into your life if you can help it (I know, easier said than done). To do that though you should focus on making yourself a high value person first, build your business, focus on your goals, hit those milestones, build the life you want first. Then explore bringing a high value partner into your life, don't change your life to accommodate a partner, many people fall into that trap and end up unhappy (I made this mistake in the past). Instead, focus on making your life the way you want it, then invite that high value person to join you on your journey, bring them into your orbit, let them be part of the life you've worked so hard to build yourself. Some people are value takers and don't provide much value to you, it's a lot like business in a way, you want to build relationships where you both provide value, and end the ones that aren't valuable for you.

In response to your second statement, people's priories have shifted when it comes to those skills you're talking about, but that doesn't mean everyone doesn't have them anymore. Surround yourself with the kinds of people who know those skills, want to find women who know how to cook? Join a cooking group or class in your free time, put yourself in situations where people with the skills you're looking for will be present! As a bonus, you'll be building those skills for yourself, while also being surrounded by others who are also learning those skills that you can communicate / network with. There even might be girls there for you to meet (but don't expect this).
im have halfway read Unscripted , it's a hidden gem so i'm trying to read it sparingly
 

lwg8tr0514

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Sep 2, 2020
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I agree with everything mentioned. Admittedly, as much as I want a relationship, I'm in no position to do so. I got tired of bending over backwards to appease someone that took my value, but gave me nothing in return. Sometimes it's lonely, but I'd rather be single than to get involved with someone toxic and egocentric. I also have a tendency to obsess over the girl and drop my progress, so I've avoided dating altogether until I get my crap together.
Yea women have always been my weakness. I used to date very Alpha females. I found their sexual power and confidence very appealing, but under the hood and through therapy I discovered it was worse than not healthy for me. Today I can say my partner and I both have our separate lives, hobbies, friends and interests. She respects me and I respect her. No mind games or bullshit. Throw in we are crazy attracted to each other even after 6 years and that helps. Funny she was a little conservative dressing wise when we met. She wore no makeup at all. Well fast forward to today she loves to dress up, do her hair, throw on the 5 inch Christian Loubatian stilletos and get naughty. She confided that our relationship and my confidence with her made her feel SAFE to be and feel sexual and sexy. Who knew you could bring out the sex kitten in a girl who was the furthest from it.
 

James Klymus

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Benefits of being single as an entrepreneur: Theres only one person steering the ship so you can make it go exactly where you want.

If you're one of the lucky people who has a partner that wants the ship to go in the same direction as you, good for you. That can work too.

If you want to live frugally and stay out of debt while you build your business, but your partner wants you to have a stable job, mortgage, expensive wedding and 2.5 kids, thats like having 2 captains steering one ship in different directions. I just got out of a long term relationship where that was the exact situation I was in. Get out of it ASAP. I waited too long to cut it off.

By the way, this doesn't mean you can't have women in your life. It's not an all or nothing scenario, in my opinion. You can date, and have fun still. Some of the best experiences in my life have been with women. In fact, I think you SHOULD date and keep an eye out for a potential long term partner. In my opinion, the advice of "go get your money and the women will follow" Is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Just because you have money, does not mean you're good at communicating. And if women are only interested in you for your money, that's called a gold digger son, not an emotional connection with whom you would want to bring another human being onto this planet.

Like MJ said in Unscripted, Marriage and kids is arguably the most important decision in your life. Don't be a guy who just settles for a woman who isn't a good fit (Ex. doesn't want you to be an entrepreneur/follow your dreams) because he thinks he can't do better, or because he's lonely.
 

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'I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.' - Nikola Tesla
 

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Kraelog

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The more responsibilities you have, the less risk you can take.

I have wife & a young child and while I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world, providing for 3 and making sure there is sufficient financial security, has made me make choices which were very suboptimal from a wealth building perspective.
 

Xeon

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Yea women have always been my weakness. I used to date very Alpha females. I found their sexual power and confidence very appealing, but under the hood and through therapy I discovered it was worse than not healthy for me.
I'm curious, what did they do that made you went through therapy and led you to discover that it was not healthy for you?

I'm drawn to very confident and alpha type of women (as long as they're pretty and don't look like bull dykes / Ellen De Generes).

Secondly, a question for those more successful married guys here who have "made it" in life. What made you marry? Have you considered the possibility that you can be happier if not married, e.g. using your financial wealth to spin several plates at the same time and move on to new ones when you're bored? Isn't that better than getting tied down with the same woman whom you see day in day out?
 

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Have you considered the possibility that you can be happier if not married, e.g. using your financial wealth to spin several plates at the same time and move on to new ones when you're bored? Isn't that better than getting tied down with the same woman whom you see day in day out?
Bro... what do you want to do, spend your life chasing after women? There's more important stuff to do in the world. Get married, and get it over with. Then you have a companion who loves you and whom you love, and you can focus on other stuff. Although your comment makes me understand why there are so many broke people in the world... they spend so much energy on worthless stuff. How do you even have the time to get bored? Something is wrong there man...
 

lwg8tr0514

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I'm curious, what did they do that made you went through therapy and led you to discover that it was not healthy for you?

I'm drawn to very confident and alpha type of women (as long as they're pretty and don't look like bull dykes / Ellen De Generes).
Well in the therapy and my journeys with Ayahausca taught me was I attracted to unavailable women who seem to fall on the Alpha-side. They brought up lots of childhood trauma which manifested as severe depression, engaging in risky behaviors like binge drinking and unsafe sex. things that did not propel me forward. I also know unavailable women can be any personality type.

I firmly believe you need to have your inner game right before you can really reach lofty goals and have a rewarding life doing it. That means being in touch with the inner self and really loving and accepting who you are. You'd be amazed at what happens and what you attract when you align with your true self. Any imbecile with a work ethic can make money, and even make big money. It takes a more integrated person to keep that wealth and build an empire where you can take on your larger purpose.
 

Ing

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The advantage of not having a woman have been said.

The disadvantage I have seen at entrep without women: once you have made it, its hard to find a woman, who loves you and not your money. Hard to get a love and not buy a woman.

The coin has two sides.
 

Mutant

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What made you marry? Have you considered the possibility that you can be happier if not married, e.g. using your financial wealth to spin several plates at the same time and move on to new ones when you're bored? Isn't that better than getting tied down with the same woman whom you see day in day out?

He puts on a raincoat & heads out into the evening gloom. Passing by the same closed stores he sees every day at this time, he arrives at the buffet restaurant. One of it's neon letters blinks in the rain. He heads inside.

The staff all know him & he quickly gets a table, then goes up & takes a plate. What does he want to eat today? He remembers something a friend had said & it rings loudly in his head, so he quickly grabs something and goes back to his table to ponder whilst chewing.

"Pick one." His friend had seemed happy when he had suggested this, but surely he couldn't be?

He glances over at a fellow solo diner in the corner. He'd seen him five days straight now, always eating the same potato salad, washed down with the house white. He didn't seem that happy. In fact he looked pretty silly for not taking advantage of the variety on offer. Why would anyone settle for only part of the buffet?


Meanwhile, several streets away, the friend who gave the advice settles down at home in front of a roaring fire for his evening meal - a gourmet steak served with a glass of a superb vintage red. He grins at his foresight to buy up that years stock - now he has a lifetime supply of fine wine that was only going to get better & better. He eats his steak at peace.

---------



Friend - I hope you get to experience "a fine steak dinner" at some point - just so your eyes are open to what you're truly choosing between.

Just like the "sidewalk or slowlane?" choice - not everyone's aware of the fastlane option.

After that, well, we're not unscripted for nothing - forget whatever society is pushing, suggesting, or enticing you to do - & choose for yourself.
 

Sethamus

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The first 2 responses answered OPs initial question. I feel like the rest is blah.

Isn't that better than getting tied down with the same woman whom you see day in day out?
It is probably easier today to be accepted as a couple living together and not be married or even to get a divorce. So no one is tied down unless they choose to be, it is probably actually harder to stay in a relationship today than not.

But what about all those other tasty dishes???
What you are fantasizing about is the appetizer and can be bought at any restaurant or street cart. You think it is fantastic, but honestly it is very easy for the chef to cook and is what gets you in the door.

Friend - I hope you get to experience "a fine steak dinner" at some point - just so your eyes are open to what you're truly choosing between.
The difference between a top awarded restaurant and applebees is the whole course. A five course dinner takes time to consume and sometimes doesn't fulfill your tastes until the last few courses. If you never get past the first course/appetizer you miss out on the fine steak dinner.

If all you want is appetizers your whole life then just go ahead and pay for the very best so you don't waste other people's time who want the full course.
 

Leecha14

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I am very interested in this thread and the timing is crazy.

I've recently separated from my husband, 10 months ago. I'm now in a very good place and would love to have someone in my life. I am struggling with deciding to start dating now or wait until my new business has launched.

I am not looking to ever marry again nor live with someone, but if I could date a like-minded person and see them a couple days a week, enjoy a glass of wine, I feel that would be wonderful and perhaps even help with my business. They would be confident, independent, financially set. I also do not have children so am essentially at home alone, all.day.long.

Or, do I put everything on hold and wait several months to enjoy this part of life?

Really having a hard time with this and appreciate any advice.

I will add, I'm 48, I'm not in my early 20s who has the 30s, 40s ahead of her. However I am a young 48. :)

Thanks!
The first 2 responses answered OPs initial question. I feel like the rest is blah.


It is probably easier today to be accepted as a couple living together and not be married or even to get a divorce. So no one is tied down unless they choose to be, it is probably actually harder to stay in a relationship today than not.

But what about all those other tasty dishes???
What you are fantasizing about is the appetizer and can be bought at any restaurant or street cart. You think it is fantastic, but honestly it is very easy for the chef to cook and is what gets you in the door.


The difference between a top awarded restaurant and applebees is the whole course. A five course dinner takes time to consume and sometimes doesn't fulfill your tastes until the last few courses. If you never get past the first course/appetizer you miss out on the fine steak dinner.

If all you want is appetizers your whole life then just go ahead and pay for the very best so you don't waste other people's time who want the full course.
Wow thanks glad I opened up.
 

Leecha14

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Really glad I shared here only to receive a laughing face and negative comment, deleted and thank you.
 

Sethamus

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Really glad I shared here only to receive a laughing face and negative comment, deleted and thank you.
Not sure why I was quoted, how is it directed towards you?
Idk why one general comment would make you delete a post before someone could have responded directly. I don't have advice for you so I read past your post, doesn't mean someone else won't.
If random comments bother you, create your own thread with the same post. Less chance you'll get offended by people not even responding to you directly.
 

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AppMan

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Hey this is personal but i was very curious and wanted to know about MJ's personal life. And how it affects an entrepreneur.
It depend if you are single by choice and able to get your emotional /sexual need met then you will be far more productive than when you are married. but if you are single /depressed /lonely it might become counter productive.
It also depends on the laws of the country you live in , in North America "The wife" tend to have too much control of husband life and in some marriages husbands steps are counted . while if you life in middle east your wife will almost have no control over you (except nagging with no real action ) so men there tend to still able to focus on their achievement without fearing the divorce and its catastrophic consequence on their financial life.

Not saying this is for every marriage, but that is what I observed at least.
 

Xeon

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The analogy of food is genius. That said, I personally feel that marriage is part of the Script.
You can be unscripted financially but still be under the script in your love life. Marriage is a societal construct.
 

fastlanedoll

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Well, well, well, I find myself single again.

I think the scenario is quite different if you're a woman, because men can date younger women and it gets harder with age, so you sort of have to choose relationships first if you're a woman.

Relationships require time to nurture, I daresay is a hindrance to entrepreneurship time-wise, but emotionally wise, its great to have someone share your ups and downs.

@MJ DeMarco I didn't know you weren't legally married! Personally, I would not stay with a man who refuse to marry me (just very personal decision, no hate at all!! I hope you don't take offense). I think the lady you have by your side is very special :)
 

Kid

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This picture has me so heated because ever since the coronavirus there as been this trend of "canceling rent", "landlords - bad. They shouldn't own the property if they're not going to live in it".
View attachment 34866View attachment 34867View attachment 34870View attachment 34869View attachment 34868

Those comments are from one thread. I can't even describe how infuriating it is to see people talk like this. How many Americans actually think like this? It shocks me. Look at the second attached picture. 60K Likes???
The landlords have bills argument is weak. Here is better
"Then take a loan and buy your own house"
 

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