Disclaimer: The following post is not intended as a request for critique, a cry for help or an invitation for any type of advice. The intention of spilling my desert moment timeline was to give a model so that others could see my example of how I got to this point, and with the goal of hearing others' stories and creating a thread where people suffering through that situation could actually find some of the shared stories helpful, even if it was just to not feel so isolated and alone. There aren't any threads covering this topic and I felt it would be useful to the community if something like this existed on here.
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I want to create a post for anyone stuck in the desert phase, like me.
My process history:
I was able to get out of my first 2 desert mindsets by self-reflecting, reading, and giving myself time. However, this third desert is really tough. I am struggling to get out of this mindset. I believe the 3rd one is strongly due to my environment and following other people in business. This 3rd desert comes and goes; one week I will be fine and the next week I might have a breakdown. Depending on the level breakdown, there are suicidal thoughts–not actions, thoughts only. This is the stuff no one talks about.
My fiance and I are living in a 5th wheel horse trailer in front of his parents house (tiny for 2 people). It is illegal to sleep in a trailer in front of a house; our neighbors know that but have yet to call the police. My fiance’s dad is extremely controlling, territorial and sexist so I try to avoid him at all costs. I am constantly fearful in this living situation; fearful of being caught living in a trailer, afraid of running into his dad getting lectured, and worried of never escaping the rat race. Basically, we do not live in an environment where anyone is cheering for us to succeed. Everyone (and I mean everyone) wants us to give up and fail. We have been successfully failing for roughly 10 years. There is no support for running a business unless we run a self-employed business like his dad.
It is really hard not to compare yourself to the other people living in this upper-middle class neighborhood. Majority of the neighborhood includes boomers and Gen X along with the lucky millennials whose parents helped them get a house. I try to remind myself the residents are sacrificing living in the Rat Race. They are making sacrifices like me; however, you can see their sacrifices, you cannot see mine. My fiance and I have nothing to show for our sacrificed time. We look like losers in society compared to other people; we are closer to homelessness and living out of an office again than renting or owning our own home. We have freedom to work on business but we are sacrificing a lot for this freedom. Our monthly bills are roughly $2,000 every month; our bills would be $300/month if we didn’t max out our credit cards to invest in business (Pool Service 123) or pull out money to invest in cryptocurrencies.
From 2020 till January 2022, the cryptocurrency market became my boss (I didn’t realize this until after reading MJ’s new book). Kraken is the exchange we use which had a major flash crash February 22nd, 2021. Our account had $220,000 and showed $8,000 that morning. We were in a margin trade and Kraken liquidated us. Within 5-10 minutes there was a flash crash and then the market went back to normal. Jesse Powell (co-founder and CEO of Kraken) claimed everyone did a bad trade; it was our fault for making a bad trade. I filled out a government form to complain about the situation and they replied cryptocurrency is not regulated therefore they couldn’t do anything. Wow. This is when I learned the government doesn’t give a shit about you. Kraken doesn’t give a shit about you. No one cares. We lawyered up and accepted Kraken’s refund; we got roughly $70,000 back and about $45,000 in KFEEs (which we will never fully use). Check and mate–well played Kraken.
Know what some of our family members and friends said when we lost all this money due to a “poor” trade which would be considered illegal to the US government on a stock market? You should have taken the money and run when it was $100,000; that’s your fault. Nice. My fiance’s dad was one of those people.
My partner and I put our life savings into the cryptocurrency market. This was our hard earned money from previous jobs, credit loans, and the pool service business we sold. Why did we sacrifice all that time and headache just to lose it to 1 trade? Welcome, my 3rd desert experience.
If I die tomorrow, was this worth it? Why did I put myself through all this mental torture and struggle? I should have enjoyed the time I had and lived in the rat race. Make enough money to spend on trips and enjoy life. Life is torturous right now. No one wants to be me, except someone on their deathbed. That is the emotional part of my brain. Logically, what are the chances I will die tomorrow, next month, next year, 10 years? Am I willing to stop what I’m doing and get a minimum wage job? I’ve never been a salary rat. Those salary jobs are very competitive to get when the other rats are willing to perform for them; go to school to get a business degree, speak a different language, know a great deal about the company before your first interview, set up interviews for 10-20 companies, polish your resume for each applied position so it stands out, volunteer your free precious time to get experience for the career title you want, etc . . . Basically twist yourself into a pretzel so you can hopefully find a company willing to take a risk on you. Why do that when I can create a job for myself through business? People will twist and turn themselves into pretzels for me and I just need to find the need.
However, I am also getting older. The time clock is ticking to have kids. My fiance and I have held off on having kids to focus on business. We are now getting closer to our late 30s; the trailer we live in is not a good place to raise a kid. MJ states 1 kid costs roughly $15,000 every year. We barely make $15,000 every year. Somehow all the other poor people out there are having kids. How are they doing it?
MJ’s books confirm what I have experienced so far on this wonderful yet horrific journey. I have experienced about 85-90% of the theories in The Great Rat-Race Escape. But, there’s still 10-15% I have not experienced. What if I don’t understand those theories until I actually experience them? It’s one thing to read them and acknowledge the theory; however, it’s a completely different story when you are personally experiencing the theories. Will I be able to recognize when to assess then adjust? What if I misinterpret what the market says? What if I adjust and it doesn’t make a difference in the outcome? What if this, what if that . . . etc . . . My logical side–Whoa, slow down there. Just take it 1 problem at a time. Remember? There’s no need to tackle problem #99 until the 1st problem is solved.
There is a constant tug-a-war of emotion vs. logic going on in my head. Most of the time the logic wins, but sometimes the logical side is defeated when it looks like everyone is living a better life. It is hard to be thankful for taking the red pill when you see a family playing in their front yard, watching a movie on their giant TV in the living room, having good smelling food in a kitchen they can cook in, etc . . . It’s the little things in life that can be the most satisfying. They don’t seem to have any worries or concerns. Time is not passing them by; they are enjoying the moment now. Logically, I know this isn’t true. However, I don’t see this when I go on my routine walks with my fiance. That is what makes it hard. The self-doubt, fearful living environment, and postponing our lives for business becomes questionable. What am I doing?
What is more frustrating is being stuck. Every time I try to get a job or get hired I have a F*ck This Event moment; every single frickin time. I am trapped in this imbalance of not being able to be a rat nor am I successful. I have been an Unplugged Unscriptee for the past 10 years, constantly struggling to move up to A Fastlane Unscriptee. I am one of the characters on “Squid Game” in the first episode playing Red Light Green Light. You know the outcome if you quit or give up. You have no choice but to crawl forward; it seriously feels like a crawl too.
You read on the forum about people firing their bosses and thriving in the event stages. There is hardly any talk when someone is in the desert stage. The process is discussed the most on the forum, as it should be; the event is the next most commonly discussed. Shouldn’t the 2nd major subject be desert moments? We all have them. Let’s be real. You haven’t truly experienced the struggle or successfully jumped to Liberated Unscriptee if you haven’t experienced a desert moment. Most of us aren’t that lucky. So again, why is the desert hardly discussed? Isn’t the desert stage part of the process? It’s really important to talk about. We focus on the glory instead of the sacrifice which can isolate the rest of us who are going through the struggle now. Just like I compare myself to the rats in the neighborhood, I can’t help but compare myself to the people having these awesome events. Did they ever go through the desert? Is it just me going through this tough time? It can’t be. Why would this be a topic in MJ’s book if no one else is going through the desert? Anyone else in the desert currently? It’s already extremely isolating out there in the rat race world; it’s not fun to feel isolated in the place where you are supposed to fit in.
Let’s change that. What’s your worst Desert Moment and where are you in the process?
----------------------------------------
I want to create a post for anyone stuck in the desert phase, like me.
My process history:
- Part of 2 MLMS–World Financial Group & So Cal Group (selling Quill office supplies) 2010 & 2011
- Learned not to fall for MLMs anymore
- 1st business–Errand Runner USA (2012)
- Learned about passive business vs. self-employed and did not assess or adjust
- Read The Millionaire Fastlane
- Today Shipt, DoorDash, Instacart, and other companies are fulfilling that business need
- 1st Desert Moment lasted about 3 months
- BuyFurnitureUSA
- Money chasing; buying furniture to resale online
- Finding Needs
- Tried filming interviews to find needs.
- Operation Web Design (2013)
- Learned more about sales and marketing.
- Bought a Commissions Only Sales Recruitment book and was personally helped by the author; this completely changed my partner’s and my business mindset. For example, from this point on we understand and look for alternative vs. sequence mindsets.
- ChazzLive (2014)
- Followed a Ptolemy money-chaser leader
- 2nd Desert Moment lasted about 6–12 months
- Pool Service USA (2015-2016)
- Worked for free to help research how to become a franchise. I was blamed for a $20,000 hiring mistake. I did not hire the 3rd party company but was blamed since I was the researcher. I thought working for free wouldn’t put me in jeopardy. I was wrong.
- Pool Service 123 (2017–2019)
- Ran a pool service company with fiance. We were always fighting and this almost destroyed our business partnership (not our personal but our business relationship).
- We made all the mistakes a brand new person in business would make. What just happened?
- Hired 1st employee–it was a disaster.
- Sold business at half price to escape the self-employed life and to save our sanity.
- 3rd Desert Moment currently
I was able to get out of my first 2 desert mindsets by self-reflecting, reading, and giving myself time. However, this third desert is really tough. I am struggling to get out of this mindset. I believe the 3rd one is strongly due to my environment and following other people in business. This 3rd desert comes and goes; one week I will be fine and the next week I might have a breakdown. Depending on the level breakdown, there are suicidal thoughts–not actions, thoughts only. This is the stuff no one talks about.
My fiance and I are living in a 5th wheel horse trailer in front of his parents house (tiny for 2 people). It is illegal to sleep in a trailer in front of a house; our neighbors know that but have yet to call the police. My fiance’s dad is extremely controlling, territorial and sexist so I try to avoid him at all costs. I am constantly fearful in this living situation; fearful of being caught living in a trailer, afraid of running into his dad getting lectured, and worried of never escaping the rat race. Basically, we do not live in an environment where anyone is cheering for us to succeed. Everyone (and I mean everyone) wants us to give up and fail. We have been successfully failing for roughly 10 years. There is no support for running a business unless we run a self-employed business like his dad.
It is really hard not to compare yourself to the other people living in this upper-middle class neighborhood. Majority of the neighborhood includes boomers and Gen X along with the lucky millennials whose parents helped them get a house. I try to remind myself the residents are sacrificing living in the Rat Race. They are making sacrifices like me; however, you can see their sacrifices, you cannot see mine. My fiance and I have nothing to show for our sacrificed time. We look like losers in society compared to other people; we are closer to homelessness and living out of an office again than renting or owning our own home. We have freedom to work on business but we are sacrificing a lot for this freedom. Our monthly bills are roughly $2,000 every month; our bills would be $300/month if we didn’t max out our credit cards to invest in business (Pool Service 123) or pull out money to invest in cryptocurrencies.
From 2020 till January 2022, the cryptocurrency market became my boss (I didn’t realize this until after reading MJ’s new book). Kraken is the exchange we use which had a major flash crash February 22nd, 2021. Our account had $220,000 and showed $8,000 that morning. We were in a margin trade and Kraken liquidated us. Within 5-10 minutes there was a flash crash and then the market went back to normal. Jesse Powell (co-founder and CEO of Kraken) claimed everyone did a bad trade; it was our fault for making a bad trade. I filled out a government form to complain about the situation and they replied cryptocurrency is not regulated therefore they couldn’t do anything. Wow. This is when I learned the government doesn’t give a shit about you. Kraken doesn’t give a shit about you. No one cares. We lawyered up and accepted Kraken’s refund; we got roughly $70,000 back and about $45,000 in KFEEs (which we will never fully use). Check and mate–well played Kraken.
Know what some of our family members and friends said when we lost all this money due to a “poor” trade which would be considered illegal to the US government on a stock market? You should have taken the money and run when it was $100,000; that’s your fault. Nice. My fiance’s dad was one of those people.
My partner and I put our life savings into the cryptocurrency market. This was our hard earned money from previous jobs, credit loans, and the pool service business we sold. Why did we sacrifice all that time and headache just to lose it to 1 trade? Welcome, my 3rd desert experience.
If I die tomorrow, was this worth it? Why did I put myself through all this mental torture and struggle? I should have enjoyed the time I had and lived in the rat race. Make enough money to spend on trips and enjoy life. Life is torturous right now. No one wants to be me, except someone on their deathbed. That is the emotional part of my brain. Logically, what are the chances I will die tomorrow, next month, next year, 10 years? Am I willing to stop what I’m doing and get a minimum wage job? I’ve never been a salary rat. Those salary jobs are very competitive to get when the other rats are willing to perform for them; go to school to get a business degree, speak a different language, know a great deal about the company before your first interview, set up interviews for 10-20 companies, polish your resume for each applied position so it stands out, volunteer your free precious time to get experience for the career title you want, etc . . . Basically twist yourself into a pretzel so you can hopefully find a company willing to take a risk on you. Why do that when I can create a job for myself through business? People will twist and turn themselves into pretzels for me and I just need to find the need.
However, I am also getting older. The time clock is ticking to have kids. My fiance and I have held off on having kids to focus on business. We are now getting closer to our late 30s; the trailer we live in is not a good place to raise a kid. MJ states 1 kid costs roughly $15,000 every year. We barely make $15,000 every year. Somehow all the other poor people out there are having kids. How are they doing it?
MJ’s books confirm what I have experienced so far on this wonderful yet horrific journey. I have experienced about 85-90% of the theories in The Great Rat-Race Escape. But, there’s still 10-15% I have not experienced. What if I don’t understand those theories until I actually experience them? It’s one thing to read them and acknowledge the theory; however, it’s a completely different story when you are personally experiencing the theories. Will I be able to recognize when to assess then adjust? What if I misinterpret what the market says? What if I adjust and it doesn’t make a difference in the outcome? What if this, what if that . . . etc . . . My logical side–Whoa, slow down there. Just take it 1 problem at a time. Remember? There’s no need to tackle problem #99 until the 1st problem is solved.
There is a constant tug-a-war of emotion vs. logic going on in my head. Most of the time the logic wins, but sometimes the logical side is defeated when it looks like everyone is living a better life. It is hard to be thankful for taking the red pill when you see a family playing in their front yard, watching a movie on their giant TV in the living room, having good smelling food in a kitchen they can cook in, etc . . . It’s the little things in life that can be the most satisfying. They don’t seem to have any worries or concerns. Time is not passing them by; they are enjoying the moment now. Logically, I know this isn’t true. However, I don’t see this when I go on my routine walks with my fiance. That is what makes it hard. The self-doubt, fearful living environment, and postponing our lives for business becomes questionable. What am I doing?
What is more frustrating is being stuck. Every time I try to get a job or get hired I have a F*ck This Event moment; every single frickin time. I am trapped in this imbalance of not being able to be a rat nor am I successful. I have been an Unplugged Unscriptee for the past 10 years, constantly struggling to move up to A Fastlane Unscriptee. I am one of the characters on “Squid Game” in the first episode playing Red Light Green Light. You know the outcome if you quit or give up. You have no choice but to crawl forward; it seriously feels like a crawl too.
You read on the forum about people firing their bosses and thriving in the event stages. There is hardly any talk when someone is in the desert stage. The process is discussed the most on the forum, as it should be; the event is the next most commonly discussed. Shouldn’t the 2nd major subject be desert moments? We all have them. Let’s be real. You haven’t truly experienced the struggle or successfully jumped to Liberated Unscriptee if you haven’t experienced a desert moment. Most of us aren’t that lucky. So again, why is the desert hardly discussed? Isn’t the desert stage part of the process? It’s really important to talk about. We focus on the glory instead of the sacrifice which can isolate the rest of us who are going through the struggle now. Just like I compare myself to the rats in the neighborhood, I can’t help but compare myself to the people having these awesome events. Did they ever go through the desert? Is it just me going through this tough time? It can’t be. Why would this be a topic in MJ’s book if no one else is going through the desert? Anyone else in the desert currently? It’s already extremely isolating out there in the rat race world; it’s not fun to feel isolated in the place where you are supposed to fit in.
Let’s change that. What’s your worst Desert Moment and where are you in the process?
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