Hi all,
Every self-improvement guru and his door mat tells you to read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by 'Dale Carnegie', so I'm sure most of you have heard of or read it before. And if you don't apply to either, now you do. I'm only halfway through and I can tell you all now it's worth the read, I've already started applying his principals and it has LITERALLY paid.
I work in a small yet busy restaurant/bar in rural Queensland, Australia, and if you know anything about this country, you'll know that it's not a social norm to give or receive tips to waiters/bartenders. This will be important later.
I get to see many new people come and go in my job as we are located directly across from a free camping ground, so it's the perfect place for me to practice my people skills since I am naturally introverted.
For the last couple of nights a guy has been coming in and sitting at the bar to have a meal and about four to five shots of Fireball on ice over the span of an hour. At first he didn't talk much, kept to himself and left when he was done. But last night he was the only one at the bar and I decided to apply what I had learned from not even finishing the book yet. I simply asked him where he was from and what he was up to. And that turned into a half an hour rant about how he's come over from another state to continue the process of claiming full custody of his two-year-old son whos mother neglects him and keeps him in feral living conditions. He described how the child service employees were crying because they just wanted to hand the kid over to him but due to red tape, it's a six month process. But they would pay for all his accommodation and flights to come back and visit his son once a month, he said there's only one other man whom child services are offering this kind of support to, and he apparently lives in Canada.
I listened to every word and showed genuine interest whilst I finished polishing the glasses, during his whole rant I spoke maybe 3 or 4 sentences, all of which were questions about him. When I said I had to go and start collecting plates because the boss was on my a$$, he asked "What's your hourly rate?". I hesitated, but told him I got payed $26.75 an hour (I live in Australia remember?) and without hesitation he throws me $27 as a tip, winks, and says "Good karma".
If all I did was keep the Fireball flowing and only see him as another customer, do you think I would have gotten a tip worth an hour of my time in a country where tips are hardly a thing? I don't think so. All it took was my attention, two simple questions, and half an hour to allow a struggling man tell me about what he's going through. I bit my tongue whenever I started to feel the need to talk about myself, and I made the conscious effort to make the conversation about him. This is one of the principles Dale Carnegie talks about in his book; make the conversation about the other person and show genuine interest, people want to feel like they're important.
I had already started applying principles from the book with other customers and people outside of work. I felt good about it, but this is the first time I've gotten something tangible in return.
If there's anyone reading this, let me know if you have read this book and what outcomes have you received from applying the principles. I'd love to hear them.
Every self-improvement guru and his door mat tells you to read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by 'Dale Carnegie', so I'm sure most of you have heard of or read it before. And if you don't apply to either, now you do. I'm only halfway through and I can tell you all now it's worth the read, I've already started applying his principals and it has LITERALLY paid.
I work in a small yet busy restaurant/bar in rural Queensland, Australia, and if you know anything about this country, you'll know that it's not a social norm to give or receive tips to waiters/bartenders. This will be important later.
I get to see many new people come and go in my job as we are located directly across from a free camping ground, so it's the perfect place for me to practice my people skills since I am naturally introverted.
For the last couple of nights a guy has been coming in and sitting at the bar to have a meal and about four to five shots of Fireball on ice over the span of an hour. At first he didn't talk much, kept to himself and left when he was done. But last night he was the only one at the bar and I decided to apply what I had learned from not even finishing the book yet. I simply asked him where he was from and what he was up to. And that turned into a half an hour rant about how he's come over from another state to continue the process of claiming full custody of his two-year-old son whos mother neglects him and keeps him in feral living conditions. He described how the child service employees were crying because they just wanted to hand the kid over to him but due to red tape, it's a six month process. But they would pay for all his accommodation and flights to come back and visit his son once a month, he said there's only one other man whom child services are offering this kind of support to, and he apparently lives in Canada.
I listened to every word and showed genuine interest whilst I finished polishing the glasses, during his whole rant I spoke maybe 3 or 4 sentences, all of which were questions about him. When I said I had to go and start collecting plates because the boss was on my a$$, he asked "What's your hourly rate?". I hesitated, but told him I got payed $26.75 an hour (I live in Australia remember?) and without hesitation he throws me $27 as a tip, winks, and says "Good karma".
If all I did was keep the Fireball flowing and only see him as another customer, do you think I would have gotten a tip worth an hour of my time in a country where tips are hardly a thing? I don't think so. All it took was my attention, two simple questions, and half an hour to allow a struggling man tell me about what he's going through. I bit my tongue whenever I started to feel the need to talk about myself, and I made the conscious effort to make the conversation about him. This is one of the principles Dale Carnegie talks about in his book; make the conversation about the other person and show genuine interest, people want to feel like they're important.
I had already started applying principles from the book with other customers and people outside of work. I felt good about it, but this is the first time I've gotten something tangible in return.
If there's anyone reading this, let me know if you have read this book and what outcomes have you received from applying the principles. I'd love to hear them.
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