Telling Mom I didn't Want To Go Uni - second time.

[The One]

Hey,

I realised the one thing I really needed to do was quit school - it took up many hours of my day. it didn't provide any value to me at all. Though this was a decision that was from 9 months ago. I was shit scared.

I tried doing it few months before but it flopped hard - my parents thought I was possessed by evil spirits or an entire country was behind this - making the youth more weaker and more rubbish. They forced me on staying on medicine.

What did I do? Nothing.

I was bullied from every family member and local teachers said NO - YOU MUST DO A DEGREE.

Point is I was shit scared - thing was getting real. I was afraid of the real world after thinking about it.

So today I tried doing it - I had full intentions of leaving my house today. But, once again my mum fell into thinking I was under some black magic or something. I was going mad. I cannot do anything. My dreams are nothing but shit.

I assure you, I tried my very best to explain my intentions and my future dreams but she says "wealth only comes from those who inherit it" - not in English but in Urdu.

In the heat - she wanted proof. Like who didn't go or dropout of Uni and are super successful? - I mentioned many names but she said she didn't believe it. Like Mark Zuckerberg, Tim Cook - these are only 2 names who dropped out of uni or college I believe. But she mentioned - it's not possible for you. You aren't able.

Then another goal of mine was to enhance my community: make them stronger, make them better, make them wise. She said I don't have the confidence or knowledge for that.

Then she asked for a plan for what I wanted to do. I froze. Though I had dreams, I couldn't explain my plan.

Though I know exactly what my plan was, I knew she was gonna say it's crap or it doesn't exist.

So, after the blackmailing process, the tears, the bullying - she said I could do another degree - I dumbly said "Biomed" - but it doesn't correlate with my dreams and life goals.

Maybe, just maybe the truth is I am scared of the real world. I know I will have to struggle, I will maybe not have food on the table for myself. I will be in pain. But, I was scared of God. I was scared that maybe if they suffer from any pain of me leaving the house - they may have a heart attack or something and that will obviously be placed onto me. The thing is - I don't want to abandon my parents as they are old. Only a single person works and I have 2 younger sisters - so abandoning them would be cruel. As, they are reliant on me.

I don't want to sound like a bi*ch, but I may be one. But, I'm crying as I type this. I just don't want to hurt them you know?

Only for those who dropped out and perhaps left their home and are successful within your goals - how on earth did you do it?

I understand that it takes real balls to do so.

I honestly need your help. I don't want to be stuck in the slow lane for the rest of my life.

 

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[pascal]

I can tell you that you've to believe in yourself even if others doesn't,be strong and don't be controlled by emotions know that it is a part of life that you have to pass through

 

[ZCP]

@The One what proof do you have of prior success?
if the answer is none, then begin to stack wins and successes.

But ZCP, I can't with school in the way. Bullshit. Use school to help make connections to succeed in your plan.
You are making excuses. Do both for now until you have something to 'show'.
Right now, trust your parents. AND do things your way. You have 24 hours in a day. Give their plan 12, yours 12.
Make some success / money / have proof / something to show.

When you have £100k in the bank, THEN mention your plans.

 

[The-J]

Your mom is probably right and you should probably stay in school.

I looked back at your posts. You're young, probably 18, and you initially wanted to start a tutoring company. A tutoring company, if executed correctly, could do very well in an immigrant community like yours. Tutoring means pursuing a dream of higher education, of getting out of poverty, of gaining social status. Parents are willing to invest in it if they think it'll work.

But you haven't updated it. Looks like you quit. Is it because you didn't get any clients? Is it because you haven't gotten good tutoring results? Or is it because you got bored and figured it would be too slow?

@perchboy is in high school and is actually in business. He's IN BUSINESS. He's making sales, he's getting the work done. He'll finish his diploma and probably won't go to uni because he'll have proved his parents wrong when he's making more money than them. His parents don't support him either. But he's doing it anyway with his own money.

Meanwhile you're crying because your mom won't listen to you. Why should she listen to you? You have only told and not showed.

How do you know school isn't providing you any value? The value in school comes from the degree, the connections (peers, professors, employers), and the social experience.

School isn't that hard. Several people here have done their degree while also running a business and also working to pay their way. Yes that's doing a lot. It's hard. But imagine what kind of person you'll become after being forged from that process. Imagine how ABLE you will become.

But right now you're a kid with big dreams and no action.

 

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[The One]

Your mom is probably right and you should probably stay in school.

I looked back at your posts. You're young, probably 18, and you initially wanted to start a tutoring company. A tutoring company, if executed correctly, could do very well in an immigrant community like yours. Tutoring means pursuing a dream of higher education, of getting out of poverty, of gaining social status. Parents are willing to invest in it if they think it'll work.

But you haven't updated it. Looks like you quit. Is it because you didn't get any clients? Is it because you haven't gotten good tutoring results? Or is it because you got bored and figured it would be too slow?

@perchboy is in high school and is actually in business. He's IN BUSINESS. He's making sales, he's getting the work done. He'll finish his diploma and probably won't go to uni because he'll have proved his parents wrong when he's making more money than them. His parents don't support him either. But he's doing it anyway with his own money.

Meanwhile you're crying because your mom won't listen to you. Why should she listen to you? You have only told and not showed.

How do you know school isn't providing you any value? The value in school comes from the degree, the connections (peers, professors, employers), and the social experience.

School isn't that hard. Several people here have done their degree while also running a business and also working to pay their way. Yes that's doing a lot. It's hard. But imagine what kind of person you'll become after being forged from that process. Imagine how ABLE you will become.

But right now you're a kid with big dreams and no action.

Totally agree. I feel stupid saying that I cried.

regarding the tutoring part - I dropped that and began something new as I found something better.

regarding action taking - I’ve lacked in that - I’ve created bullshit excuses to not working the hardest.

Your mom is probably right and you should probably stay in school.

I looked back at your posts. You're young, probably 18, and you initially wanted to start a tutoring company. A tutoring company, if executed correctly, could do very well in an immigrant community like yours. Tutoring means pursuing a dream of higher education, of getting out of poverty, of gaining social status. Parents are willing to invest in it if they think it'll work.

But you haven't updated it. Looks like you quit. Is it because you didn't get any clients? Is it because you haven't gotten good tutoring results? Or is it because you got bored and figured it would be too slow?

@perchboy is in high school and is actually in business. He's IN BUSINESS. He's making sales, he's getting the work done. He'll finish his diploma and probably won't go to uni because he'll have proved his parents wrong when he's making more money than them. His parents don't support him either. But he's doing it anyway with his own money.

Meanwhile you're crying because your mom won't listen to you. Why should she listen to you? You have only told and not showed.

How do you know school isn't providing you any value? The value in school comes from the degree, the connections (peers, professors, employers), and the social experience.

School isn't that hard. Several people here have done their degree while also running a business and also working to pay their way. Yes that's doing a lot. It's hard. But imagine what kind of person you'll become after being forged from that process. Imagine how ABLE you will become.

But right now you're a kid with big dreams and no action.

agree with all points. Not making any excuse on actions but tryna leverage more time excluding school.

 

[The-J]

Totally agree. I feel stupid saying that I cried.

That's not what you should get out of this. You're feeling bad because an adult stranger on a business forum is calling you out, not because you had an emotional reaction to your mother giving you harsh words. But you don't need to feel bad.

We've seen so many people come here and do what you're thinking about doing. We've seen people come in, declare that they're dropping out of school, and... most of them don't come back. We don't know what actually happens to them. Maybe they succeeded, but probably not.

Meanwhile we've seen people do it ALL. Work, go to school, and build a business, all at the same time. It's a lot of work. You could probably just go to school and work on your business, without needing a job. Immigrant families stick together. They will expect you to do well in school though, but I'm sure you can figure it out.

But that doesn't mean you will never drop out. You might drop out later. MJ made a thread about when to drop out of school:

GOLD! - NEWSLETTER - Luck is for schmucks, THIS is for winners.

From the Life in the Fastlane newsletter... I swear, if I hear another wannabe entrepreneur justify dropping out of college because Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates dropped out, I'll vomit. 
Read on and discover why these two examples mean nothing, especially if you think dropping out of Johnson...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

[Jrjohnny]

Dude, the only thing you’ve done in 9 months is talk to your parents.

Seriously? Thats what I do on a daily basis.

Instead of sitting there sobbin and blaming school. Where could you have been if you had actually done something?

Don’t beat yourself up over the past, but take it as your lesson.

Get up and start doing. Go to school. Appreciate the fact that your parents care for you so much that they want you to do what they think is best for you.

You should read the weekend sprint thread, as it seems like it applies to you.

I’m also in school. I’m awake at 6 and not home until 4:30. 10 and a half hours.

Sure, I haven’t gotten a lot done in my 6 month forum life, but I’m not complaining.

I’m trying, at my relative best, while trying to balance life.

I’ve done 3 ish prototypes and 2 “businesses”

Here’s what I can suggest:

Learn to remain in the present, worrying about the future doesn’t get rid of tomorrows problems, only gets rid of todays strength. Regretting won’t change the past.

Learn to take accountability take the last few months as a life lesson, not a life sentence.

Express gratitude to your parents and stop hating, you will not be punished for your anger, you’ll be punished by your anger, which has already happened (you gaining a victimized mindset and less productive)

don’t focus on getting rid of school. Focus on business, have something to show, then, if it’s sufficient, you’ll be able to be out of school if you really want.

Hold your head up high, you lost many battles but not the war, keep fighting strong

 

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[GideonEkasi]

Do both. School doesn't take 24hrs a day. You'll still have ample time. Learn a skill on the side, a skill that can be monetized online. Or find a part-time job. Stack up cash. If you're still in school by the time you're well off then you can drop out if you wish, your parents won't argue then because you're taking care of them and your sisters. So for now, try to use your spare time to stack up cash and learn skills. Network with like minded people, you never know where help will come from even in form of client referrals. That's my advice. I recommend learning a skill with regards to digital marketing or copywriting. You can get a bunch of free PDF's online. Find people who own SMMAs and offer your skill with a low-risk offer like working commission-based.

On the other hand, if I was still interested in not going to school, I would work a 9-5. This way your parents will see that you're not just sitting on your a$$, because like it or not that's why they don't trust your decision. If you were working a 9-5 and saving up for a plan you have in mind they would notice it in your demeanor and let you have your way.

In conclusion, try thinking less and doing more. And realize time waits for no one.