Greggotthejuice
New Contributor
My name's Greg, I just turned 23 Aug 6th and ill be honest, I've been stuck on the sidewalk for a while unconsciously, yet always had a a slowlane/fastlane mindset. I say that because despite growing up in a poverty stricken home, despite being conditioned to think I wasn't going to be nothing more than a thug. I still have always been inquisitive and curious about things that would supposedly be beyond me. I've naturally I wanna say just been connected to wanting to live a fastlane life since I was kid, just never had any REAL guidance that could make sure I stayed on the right path.
I'll say this; one day I was reading a book, and my mom said "you still trying to read?"
Can't make this up, and like I said, it's all ill say for understanding of my circumstances and up bringing but, the truth is, it doesn't define me. My issue is I deal with a lot of PTSD that I haven't been able to shake being that the issues that I need to address are so deeply embedded I can't identify them.
I was working for Sprint and was able to successfully save up to 7,000 and still have 6,000 left. My monthly guaranteed expenses is 370, 300 for my mom 70 for my phone bill. I live for free but the truth is my inability to deal with my past is affecting my ability to form and sustain relationships as well as keep a job. I was working as a verifier recently in a office with all women for about 3 weeks who gossiped and gave each other hell and I just couldn't stomach being amongst the circus losing time to have to worry about getting ratted out to my bosses, who were in a way manipulative and just smh.
The purpose of this thread is not for motivation but trying to find something that I can start generating enough money to at least pay my mom 300 and my 70 so I can work towards becoming a better person as well as focusing on coding because I already have ideas that I want to do, it's a longshot but I rather bet on myself because I know myself.
I read Mj's book just finished last night (Swear to God) and at this point I'm wired and ready to go, also to be honest I stopped smoking weed as it is a gateway drug just clouds my thoughts, I quit my job realizing that in order to even work a job you have to be in a positive environment that you can tolerate. Truth is I got to make something of myself because no one believes in me but me. I'm just trying to buy time so I can start building the skills to empower myself to start being able to 1. Create content because I know if I can learn to overcome my problems, my past, I'll be able to connect to others and give advice and honestly use it as a means of becoming successful and literally empowering those like me that they can do it. 2. Despite doing jobs that were pointless when I worked for Sprint it reminded me that I wasn't a ghetto idiot that people try to project me as but the kid who used to sit on his computer wanting to learn how to make his own Runescape/Habbo private server so bad that I successfully did it at some point even became a hacker, I had built a webpage and had people go to my website it would redirect them to a fake page and they would reenter there information into my webhost and I would get there information name and password and take there furniture and gold I was a kid in 6th grade mwahahaha lmfao and loved habbo hotel don't asked how I just would sit on my computer until I found what I wanted and would work towards to making it happen. I didn't retain any of that information that being that life just kept changing (Would've learned soooo much more about coding just in the 7th grade alone but we would go years without having internet/cable so I couldn't continue to divulge into my interest.).
The truth is I've had a interesting life, filled with ups and a lot of downs because, when I was in high school I was successfully selling shoes on eBay for 100% profit margins in my sophomore year but the source of the way of getting the shoes after about 2 years couldn't persist plus I was already lost thinking that life was about shit that didn't matter (you can imagine what a kid think is important in the 10th grade) Even was selling soccer jerseys and nba jersey on eBay and Amazon for minor profit but it was a difficult thing to do because I wasn't making sells fast enough process was to drawn out and I could find myself going a month without selling a jersey and the only thing I could do was change the price in hopes people would but it but like MJ said that's not a real strategy. So the reality is I know for a fact that fast lane exist but after being bullied by life ( getting kicked out of high school for nonsense ) leaving jobs and losing jobs prolonged relationships with people that I should've let go, horrible family relationships.
I find myself a lone, confused, and just wanting a change. I've always set goals such as this year I was going to save 10,000 and I came so close most I got to was 7,000 and literally lost my job because this woman lied and said I cursed her out I didn't, witnesses even said I didn't and that I was only asking her to help me but life isn't always about truth, if people don't like you they don't like you and find any excuse to get rid of you trust me!
I'm writing this to give insight that i'm not a lost cause just going threw a lot at such a young age, i'm scared because I don't want to end up under a highway like my uncle. I'm scared because I have no one outside of living with my mom i'm financially and mentally responsible for everything. I'm scared because I have 6,000 left a computer that has internet (NOW) and know that in order to beat insanity you have to change your life for the better.
Once again this thread is to get help to start generating SOME cash, before the 3rd of November already have a check coming in to cover my expense for sept 3rd, but I don't want to dip into what I have saved unless I need to. As well as introduce myself into the forum, tired of talking to sidewalkers/slow lane who will never understand me.
An just to let some of what I keep bottled up out. Truth is I wear a good front, i'm able to have great initial relationships with people but I guess not really talking about who I am what i'm going threw they think i'm some smart kid who's lives a decent life not close.
Also I have no kids no ged or car just a dollar and a dream. An it's not that I'm not willing to work for what I want at some point something has to give. I realized I've wasted so much time (sidewalk) working dead end jobs, and if you don't change or do something new for yourself know one will tell you or help you to build yourself up. (20 I was working for a hotel as a janitor and was being sold the sidewalk bullshit of just work here for ever you'll be managing the place someday, mom and coworkers were selling me this. NOT F*ckING ME ILL PASS, QUIT!)
Started to learn how to code about a week ago I love It, knowing I can make something myself but really haven't progressed at a fast rate being the job I just recently quit was taking 9 hours out of my day just got to learn the process how to be consistent and put that extra time in because theres no way 3 hours of coding within a entire week is going to help me.
My dream is just to put my mom in a house and have a degree of control of my life. I'm tired of being humiliated by others because they have power of me. Tired of having people who shouldn't be in position of power make decisions for me I'm just ready to be free.
I'll say this; one day I was reading a book, and my mom said "you still trying to read?"
Can't make this up, and like I said, it's all ill say for understanding of my circumstances and up bringing but, the truth is, it doesn't define me. My issue is I deal with a lot of PTSD that I haven't been able to shake being that the issues that I need to address are so deeply embedded I can't identify them.
I was working for Sprint and was able to successfully save up to 7,000 and still have 6,000 left. My monthly guaranteed expenses is 370, 300 for my mom 70 for my phone bill. I live for free but the truth is my inability to deal with my past is affecting my ability to form and sustain relationships as well as keep a job. I was working as a verifier recently in a office with all women for about 3 weeks who gossiped and gave each other hell and I just couldn't stomach being amongst the circus losing time to have to worry about getting ratted out to my bosses, who were in a way manipulative and just smh.
The purpose of this thread is not for motivation but trying to find something that I can start generating enough money to at least pay my mom 300 and my 70 so I can work towards becoming a better person as well as focusing on coding because I already have ideas that I want to do, it's a longshot but I rather bet on myself because I know myself.
I read Mj's book just finished last night (Swear to God) and at this point I'm wired and ready to go, also to be honest I stopped smoking weed as it is a gateway drug just clouds my thoughts, I quit my job realizing that in order to even work a job you have to be in a positive environment that you can tolerate. Truth is I got to make something of myself because no one believes in me but me. I'm just trying to buy time so I can start building the skills to empower myself to start being able to 1. Create content because I know if I can learn to overcome my problems, my past, I'll be able to connect to others and give advice and honestly use it as a means of becoming successful and literally empowering those like me that they can do it. 2. Despite doing jobs that were pointless when I worked for Sprint it reminded me that I wasn't a ghetto idiot that people try to project me as but the kid who used to sit on his computer wanting to learn how to make his own Runescape/Habbo private server so bad that I successfully did it at some point even became a hacker, I had built a webpage and had people go to my website it would redirect them to a fake page and they would reenter there information into my webhost and I would get there information name and password and take there furniture and gold I was a kid in 6th grade mwahahaha lmfao and loved habbo hotel don't asked how I just would sit on my computer until I found what I wanted and would work towards to making it happen. I didn't retain any of that information that being that life just kept changing (Would've learned soooo much more about coding just in the 7th grade alone but we would go years without having internet/cable so I couldn't continue to divulge into my interest.).
The truth is I've had a interesting life, filled with ups and a lot of downs because, when I was in high school I was successfully selling shoes on eBay for 100% profit margins in my sophomore year but the source of the way of getting the shoes after about 2 years couldn't persist plus I was already lost thinking that life was about shit that didn't matter (you can imagine what a kid think is important in the 10th grade) Even was selling soccer jerseys and nba jersey on eBay and Amazon for minor profit but it was a difficult thing to do because I wasn't making sells fast enough process was to drawn out and I could find myself going a month without selling a jersey and the only thing I could do was change the price in hopes people would but it but like MJ said that's not a real strategy. So the reality is I know for a fact that fast lane exist but after being bullied by life ( getting kicked out of high school for nonsense ) leaving jobs and losing jobs prolonged relationships with people that I should've let go, horrible family relationships.
I find myself a lone, confused, and just wanting a change. I've always set goals such as this year I was going to save 10,000 and I came so close most I got to was 7,000 and literally lost my job because this woman lied and said I cursed her out I didn't, witnesses even said I didn't and that I was only asking her to help me but life isn't always about truth, if people don't like you they don't like you and find any excuse to get rid of you trust me!
I'm writing this to give insight that i'm not a lost cause just going threw a lot at such a young age, i'm scared because I don't want to end up under a highway like my uncle. I'm scared because I have no one outside of living with my mom i'm financially and mentally responsible for everything. I'm scared because I have 6,000 left a computer that has internet (NOW) and know that in order to beat insanity you have to change your life for the better.
Once again this thread is to get help to start generating SOME cash, before the 3rd of November already have a check coming in to cover my expense for sept 3rd, but I don't want to dip into what I have saved unless I need to. As well as introduce myself into the forum, tired of talking to sidewalkers/slow lane who will never understand me.
An just to let some of what I keep bottled up out. Truth is I wear a good front, i'm able to have great initial relationships with people but I guess not really talking about who I am what i'm going threw they think i'm some smart kid who's lives a decent life not close.
Also I have no kids no ged or car just a dollar and a dream. An it's not that I'm not willing to work for what I want at some point something has to give. I realized I've wasted so much time (sidewalk) working dead end jobs, and if you don't change or do something new for yourself know one will tell you or help you to build yourself up. (20 I was working for a hotel as a janitor and was being sold the sidewalk bullshit of just work here for ever you'll be managing the place someday, mom and coworkers were selling me this. NOT F*ckING ME ILL PASS, QUIT!)
Started to learn how to code about a week ago I love It, knowing I can make something myself but really haven't progressed at a fast rate being the job I just recently quit was taking 9 hours out of my day just got to learn the process how to be consistent and put that extra time in because theres no way 3 hours of coding within a entire week is going to help me.
My dream is just to put my mom in a house and have a degree of control of my life. I'm tired of being humiliated by others because they have power of me. Tired of having people who shouldn't be in position of power make decisions for me I'm just ready to be free.
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