Strider
Contributor
(LotR reference in title)
Who I am:
- 19 yo
- Studying in my country's top college, original Math but changing to Electronic and Computer Engineering or CS and Computer Engineering.
What I did wrong:
- Didn't really make an effort in my last course, in the classes I tried to go I had an average of 60% not bad in context but not what I wanted, the worse was the way I was, mostly driven by appearance to look like an outsider and cooler. I didn't study only in the last few days before a test.
- I joined an entrepreneurship club, I did enough but I lived far away and couldn't be there all the time, I used it as an ego protection, I didn't have to do stuff because I was there. I was doing what I hated most, living for appearances and people there are so invested in looking better for employers only. Blahh I want to look better for employers yes but actually do something for the sake of doing it, not just to look better.
- Missed a good opportunity in a startup, didn't show up to the interview meeting (called it off two hours before), now the guys are in the journal and all. My reason was that I thought my big idea was going to happen, the thing me and my friends been talking about for over a year (even though it seems too big and difficult, that we aren't going to be able to do it on our own), fake actioning, making homepages, learning stuff and more stuff but when it comes to do it, it's too difficult, I have another idea, etc...
- Separated myself from groups, I know tons of people but never belonged anywhere really (just my close inner circle).
- Was gullible and associated myself with toxic people, did stupid stuff various times without thinking.
What I want to fix in myself:
- Too much of a kid have always been too protected and closed at home by my parents, yelled at for everything and nothing
- Arrogance
- Trying to be an outsider
- Gullibility
- Nihilistic thoughts taking over my world view
- Being closed in my world
- Daydreaming too much and tons of fake action
- Needing approval and validation, seeking attention, saying I'm in x ou y, protecting my ego and saying I'm awesome, pretending to do stuff.
What I'm going to do:
- Change into another course, still deciding which one, gotta decide until next week.
- Drop out of that entrepreneurship club DONE
- Start tutoring Math and English at first in order to get enough money to actually live decently in my new room. Join a tutor service from my previous math course, put some ads and if I don't get enough join a tutoring agency.
- Sign up to be an extra for shows, it's easy money as well
- Join the college journal, I'll be "forced" to write more consistently and create things that I enjoy it will be extra time. I love writing and am quite good at it. I want to improve writing and my studies of philosophy so I can attack the political problems I see.
- Consider a part time if I have enough time left
- Being serious on my daily does to get my things together: read, write, meditate, code, plan my days, go to sleep before midnight on the non go out days, keep learning two languages and study everyday... it seems a lot but I'm able to handle this, I'm using a system of tracking habits and then rewarding me if I get through.
- Focus on projects instead of hiding myself behind a "clubs" name or saying I'm working on projects
- Start doing social challenges that I found in some PUA sites, get out of my shell even though I can't waste money on disco's.
I recently discovered that I probably should try living away from my parents for a while, despite loving them if I stay in contact and keep on this environment 24/7 it will be tough to get out, it's toxic. So with their help, the same allowance they gave me in this past year, I'll be moving out into a room next to my college. It will be tough because I'll barely be scraping by, I have one euro to spend each day basically ._. (I can get some stuff from my parents everytime I come home), but damn freedom for the first time in my life (very rigid home, always being yelled at), will have to be responsible finally.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What I already did:
- Posted a tutoring ad in two websites, got a response one hour after (10 visualizations at this point), asking if I still had space for one person and where did I give tutoring, I guess I wrote it and she thought I was a tutoring agency.
- Starting coding for android with a few apps in mind. I only get to reward myself if I end them.
- Started the habits that I hadn't started yet
What I'm going to do this week:
- Answer the woman who contacted me DONE check more sites to place ads.
- Register to be able to be selected as an extra
- Check my new room with the friend that's also moving out
- Start getting supplies to bring with me and organize my stuff.
- Start reading how to win friends and influence people
- Put some ads on creating landing pages
- Drop out of that entrepreneurship club DONE
- Decide my course
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have one fear, I want to start this tutoring and then branch out if possible, actually start an agency maybe (have some cool ideas). Or maybe actually a webdesign company, the problem is my country is awful for companies and small ones get sucked dry (around 2k just to start something according to the law, my country average salary is below is around 700$.. this plus sucking on profits, it's insanity), anyone who doesn't live by social help or has a rich family to support them is basically a rich criminal. I'll have to look into it.
Who I am:
- 19 yo
- Studying in my country's top college, original Math but changing to Electronic and Computer Engineering or CS and Computer Engineering.
What I did wrong:
- Didn't really make an effort in my last course, in the classes I tried to go I had an average of 60% not bad in context but not what I wanted, the worse was the way I was, mostly driven by appearance to look like an outsider and cooler. I didn't study only in the last few days before a test.
- I joined an entrepreneurship club, I did enough but I lived far away and couldn't be there all the time, I used it as an ego protection, I didn't have to do stuff because I was there. I was doing what I hated most, living for appearances and people there are so invested in looking better for employers only. Blahh I want to look better for employers yes but actually do something for the sake of doing it, not just to look better.
- Missed a good opportunity in a startup, didn't show up to the interview meeting (called it off two hours before), now the guys are in the journal and all. My reason was that I thought my big idea was going to happen, the thing me and my friends been talking about for over a year (even though it seems too big and difficult, that we aren't going to be able to do it on our own), fake actioning, making homepages, learning stuff and more stuff but when it comes to do it, it's too difficult, I have another idea, etc...
- Separated myself from groups, I know tons of people but never belonged anywhere really (just my close inner circle).
- Was gullible and associated myself with toxic people, did stupid stuff various times without thinking.
What I want to fix in myself:
- Too much of a kid have always been too protected and closed at home by my parents, yelled at for everything and nothing
- Arrogance
- Trying to be an outsider
- Gullibility
- Nihilistic thoughts taking over my world view
- Being closed in my world
- Daydreaming too much and tons of fake action
- Needing approval and validation, seeking attention, saying I'm in x ou y, protecting my ego and saying I'm awesome, pretending to do stuff.
What I'm going to do:
- Change into another course, still deciding which one, gotta decide until next week.
- Drop out of that entrepreneurship club DONE
- Start tutoring Math and English at first in order to get enough money to actually live decently in my new room. Join a tutor service from my previous math course, put some ads and if I don't get enough join a tutoring agency.
- Sign up to be an extra for shows, it's easy money as well
- Join the college journal, I'll be "forced" to write more consistently and create things that I enjoy it will be extra time. I love writing and am quite good at it. I want to improve writing and my studies of philosophy so I can attack the political problems I see.
- Consider a part time if I have enough time left
- Being serious on my daily does to get my things together: read, write, meditate, code, plan my days, go to sleep before midnight on the non go out days, keep learning two languages and study everyday... it seems a lot but I'm able to handle this, I'm using a system of tracking habits and then rewarding me if I get through.
- Focus on projects instead of hiding myself behind a "clubs" name or saying I'm working on projects
- Start doing social challenges that I found in some PUA sites, get out of my shell even though I can't waste money on disco's.
I recently discovered that I probably should try living away from my parents for a while, despite loving them if I stay in contact and keep on this environment 24/7 it will be tough to get out, it's toxic. So with their help, the same allowance they gave me in this past year, I'll be moving out into a room next to my college. It will be tough because I'll barely be scraping by, I have one euro to spend each day basically ._. (I can get some stuff from my parents everytime I come home), but damn freedom for the first time in my life (very rigid home, always being yelled at), will have to be responsible finally.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What I already did:
- Posted a tutoring ad in two websites, got a response one hour after (10 visualizations at this point), asking if I still had space for one person and where did I give tutoring, I guess I wrote it and she thought I was a tutoring agency.
- Starting coding for android with a few apps in mind. I only get to reward myself if I end them.
- Started the habits that I hadn't started yet
What I'm going to do this week:
- Answer the woman who contacted me DONE check more sites to place ads.
- Register to be able to be selected as an extra
- Check my new room with the friend that's also moving out
- Start getting supplies to bring with me and organize my stuff.
- Start reading how to win friends and influence people
- Put some ads on creating landing pages
- Drop out of that entrepreneurship club DONE
- Decide my course
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have one fear, I want to start this tutoring and then branch out if possible, actually start an agency maybe (have some cool ideas). Or maybe actually a webdesign company, the problem is my country is awful for companies and small ones get sucked dry (around 2k just to start something according to the law, my country average salary is below is around 700$.. this plus sucking on profits, it's insanity), anyone who doesn't live by social help or has a rich family to support them is basically a rich criminal. I'll have to look into it.
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Last edited:
