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Money mental problems..

Baku85

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Hi,
I found out I have "problems with money".. let me explain.
8-10 years ago when I was earning money which let me just live ( pay rent, food etc. ) I had no issues at all with spending all pay check during month.
It was normal, I was not depressed that: "arghh this month I can safe only 2%".
When I started earning more I started having those problems..

It is starting to killing me.. I dont even now think in terms of percentage of monthly earnings, but in numbers.
100 euro 10 years ago was completely different number than today in my monthly budget.

Without my wife, probably ( 99% ) I would live like a poor man. Having trouble with spending money at all..
Because of this poor man mindset I think very often in very bad way for example there is situation we could move to bigger house, of course rent would cost more.
First thoughts are: what ?! we will need to pay more..
Except, wow would be nice to live there, quite place, with pool, without loudly neighbours etc etc, ok maybe we cant afford it now, but what we can do to earn more ?

I realized this yesterday, that I should switch my thinking.
We earn this money for living right ? We dont live to earn, it is stupid, it is slavery. Maybe you have more money but you are still slave..

It remembers me one friend, who is over 60, old business man, whole live spared all his money, to buy land, to buy property etc.
Still living like a poor man, in some old clothes etc.

OMG I need to change this thinking.
 

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Kybalion

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Living like a poor man doesn't make You a slave.

Having to work on someone else's terms does. Having to wake up at 6 am every weekday to drive to an unfulfilling job does.

By definition, a slave is subjected to someone else will.

If You are financially free and run a business, then there are no problems with upgrading Your lifestyle.

On the other hand, if spending Your money means staying in the trap longer than necessary that's bad.

It can be compared to decorating Your prison cell by spending years of freedom to cover the costs.
 
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Baku85

Baku85

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Living like a poor man doesn't make You a slave.
Well yes of course, but I mean that I am slave of my own thoughts.
Like I would be scared that if I will spend money I will bankrupt or something.
 

David John

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Jun 29, 2019
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First of all, in your words and how you map your reality it really deserves an upgrade. There is fear and a lack of trust in your capabilities and skills. I agree that this is a clear invitation to change that kind of thinking. What is the very first memory that is connected to the limiting thoughts. maybe you heard those beliefs as a child from your parents. Do you really want to give power over your life to a young child that has adopted a decision that wasn´t even his own?

I would like to ask you what is your passion/purpose and your big why?

What value can you give into the world?

Lets continue from there, if you like.
 
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Baku85

Baku85

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Hmm can be from childhood, as with parents we had very hard years, after good years..
Now I realized that :)

Well my passion/purpose I think now is just to live calm. Have more time for go out, read book, watch some good movie.
 

Mattie

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May 28, 2014
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Hi,
I found out I have "problems with money".. let me explain.
8-10 years ago when I was earning money which let me just live ( pay rent, food etc. ) I had no issues at all with spending all pay check during month.
It was normal, I was not depressed that: "arghh this month I can safe only 2%".
When I started earning more I started having those problems..

It is starting to killing me.. I dont even now think in terms of percentage of monthly earnings, but in numbers.
100 euro 10 years ago was completely different number than today in my monthly budget.

Without my wife, probably ( 99% ) I would live like a poor man. Having trouble with spending money at all..
Because of this poor man mindset I think very often in very bad way for example there is situation we could move to bigger house, of course rent would cost more.
First thoughts are: what ?! we will need to pay more..
Except, wow would be nice to live there, quite place, with pool, without loudly neighbours etc etc, ok maybe we cant afford it now, but what we can do to earn more ?

I realized this yesterday, that I should switch my thinking.
We earn this money for living right ? We dont live to earn, it is stupid, it is slavery. Maybe you have more money but you are still slave..

It remembers me one friend, who is over 60, old business man, whole live spared all his money, to buy land, to buy property etc.
Still living like a poor man, in some old clothes etc.

OMG I need to change this thinking.
The question would be why are you in a poverty mindset? If you only see poverty in the world, this is definitely taking the time to change your thought patterns about money.
I have no emotional attachment to labels such as social class for the simple reason we are all basically learning the same lessons about choices and actions, disciplining self, and what we find valuable in our experience.
I believe you see what you want to see. I believe you want to believe what you want to believe. I believe you experience what you want to experience.

Stressing yourself out about money, materialism, really never gets you anywhere in life. Money, materialism, will go up and down like the stock market all your life. You can be high, low, high, low, and are you going to allow your emotions and thoughts be dragged along in the same way?

A man standing there watching the stock market does this all day long. Usually they must learn to handle their emotions, thoughts, and feelings. If something drops for their clients, "OH Shit!".

What if you just spent $100,000 and it's gone in five minutes because of an event. Sure it might get you really upset, you made a choice, must own it, and you learned from the experience.

I often, find all kinds of mind hacks for the simple reason you can't go around life thinking negatively regardless of what circumstances look like temporarily.

 

zoeyallen6

New Contributor
Jun 29, 2019
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California, USA
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It is true that more money helps you to spend your life well and helps you with your bad times. First of all, we should understand that we should make changes inside ourselves and avoid external appearances. If you are a good person from inside then you will become automatic. Our purpose should be simple living and high thinking. And the other thing is that we should never forget our Origin and old friends, relatives, no matter how much money we have. Whenever you want to extra expenditure then remember your struggle days when 1 euro was a too large amount. By doing this you will be able to restrain everything.
 

NursingTn

New Contributor
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Jan 30, 2019
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How does it make you feel to spend money for yourself, e.g. anxiety? Whatever emotion you feel when you ask yourself this question, follow it up with why? Why am I feeling this way?

You might benefit from some self-reflection. Difficulty in spending money because of your former impoverished background may have many causes, e.g. fear of losing money and going back to the old lifestyle, beliefs that spending that much money isn't necessary, etc.
 
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Baku85

Baku85

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Read Millionaire Fastlane
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Mar 19, 2017
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How does it make you feel to spend money for yourself, e.g. anxiety? Whatever emotion you feel when you ask yourself this question, follow it up with why? Why am I feeling this way?

You might benefit from some self-reflection. Difficulty in spending money because of your former impoverished background may have many causes, e.g. fear of losing money and going back to the old lifestyle, beliefs that spending that much money isn't necessary, etc.
Well yes, spending money for me is like road to the past.. when I had no money..
 

flower_girl

Contributor
Jul 9, 2019
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I understand exactly where you are coming from.

I grew up in a very frugal family where every cent mattered and there was very little extravagance if any, certainly never any wastefulness.

But here I am years later and I still agonize and I do mean agonize about how to continually cut the grocery bill for example. I could quite comfortably spend $200 a week on food but I will whittle it down and down until maybe I feel comfortable about it when I've reduced it to $100, relieved if I get it down to $80......it's just so hard for me to relax and spend money!

I've actually been working on changing this fear-filled mindset. I started off by buying fresh salmon which is expensive but incredibly good for you. I'm relaxed about it now. I have started adding some other "luxury" items to the grocery cart like some good Belgian chocolate from time to time. I don't stress over it but instead feel happy and grateful that I can buy it and it is within my means. It's a bit like finally letting out a long, deep breath after having held your breath for years!

I am still frugal and careful about some things but it's not obsessive or fearful any more. Instead I have found a much better balance. There is an old saying "Moderation is the silken thread running through the centre of all good things" which I really like. I doubt I will ever be wasteful or very extravagant - but on the other hand it's a very uncomfortable and stressful life obsessing over every single cent when you don't really need to, like buying the cheaper can of something because it's 20c cheaper when you really prefer the one which is 20c dearer. Today I'll go for the dearer can, for more of my "wants" and that's okay.

It's funny I guess - some people earn $15,000 a year and live like they earn $100,000. Other people earn $100,000 a year and live like they earn $15,000. Is one really worst than the other? Food for thought.

If you work hard, succeed and have more means - why NOT live a little higher on the food chain, yanno?
 

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Einfamilienhaus

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The more you earn the more expenses you have.

Think 80/20. Only 20% of the stuff you buy makes you really happy. While 80% of the things you buy every month not.

Decide by yourself which of the products makes you happy. You can make a list of all of your expenses and order them from the most expensive to the less expensive one. Give them a valuable number for your Happiness. Between "I need it definitely (10)" and "Why have I bought it(1)".

If you calculate the whole expenses together and separate them in percentage, you will see that in only 20% of them is 80% fun inside. (Also calculate the valuable numbers together and separate them in percentage from the whole value).

80/20 is not a fixed rule. You dont have to search for 80% of this or 20% of that. Sometimes it is 70/30 or 90/1.

The right way is to search for the maximum X (value) compare to the minimum Y (Money, Time).

Or in your case.

Where is the most fun for the lowest expenses?
 

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