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Help: Should I abandon my business partnership w/a friend and start my own company?

Discussion in 'People & Relationships' started by AnOxfordMan, Dec 17, 2017.

  1. AnOxfordMan
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    TL/DR: My best friend and I have been working on an internet startup seriously for 3 years. I want to start something more realistic (an e-commerce/lifestyle company/branded product, etc). Business partner/Best friend does not think its worthwhile. Wants to do startups only. But doesn't want to learn to code. Hasn't done any work in months. Has horrid levels of paralysis/analysis and hamstrings every decision we make. Never started a business on his own ever. Should I cut the business relationship and go off on my own. And is there a way I can go about it without completely blowing up our friendship?

    So, here’s a little bit about me. Ever since I was younger, I wanted to be an entrepreneur. When people were 10 and talking about being in the NBA or being a movie star. I wanted to own my own company. I never ever ever had the desire to work for others. I always wanted to own my own business. A good amount of people in my family own their own business. My sister is in cosmetology. My brother is in landscaping. My uncle is an independent electrician. My grandmother/grandfather ran a barbershop/salon. I wanted to do the same. When I turned 18, I started various online businesses, selling shoes and jewelry. I made a few thousand dollars but, the businesses went belly up because of mistakes I made.

    So, I went to college. Decided to put those dreams on hold and focus on school.

    Around junior year, roughly 5 years ago (I’ve been out of school 3 years now), I got the idea to start an internet startup. One of my best friends from back home was in college still in the same city where my college was located, so naturally, we gravitated to one another and decided to become business partners. Problem was….we couldn’t code. We were just like every other douchebag out there with cool grand ideas but, no ability to bring it to fruition. We tried to find funding. Couldn’t. We tried to bring on computer science students/programmers. Couldn’t. We tried to get into incubators. Couldn’t. After a while, we just sorta fell back to focus on school eventhough our ideas still lingered in the back of our heads. We didn’t become serious until Post-Graduation, which puts us up to Fall 2014.

    So that was three years ago as its Winter 2017 now. In those last three years, I’ve taught myself HTML, CSS and JavaScript. I am pretty good at front-end development. My back-end skills are still rudimentary at best, knowing a bit of PHP and Python. Nonetheless, I am about 60% through with building a prototype (hacking an MVP together) for our startup idea but, I’m starting to get the nagging feeling that I should abandon our startup and go out on my own. In those three years, I started to realize that maybe shooting for an internet startup was foolish when we didn’t have the skillset. And even though I labored enough to sling together something, with the amount of time wasted, we could’ve built a smaller but, profitable business by now. Everywhere I look around on the internet, I see companies that are earning $5MM to $15MM a year (or even more) doing ideas that are less ambitious than trying to create the next Snapchat or Facebook. And it drives me crazy because I’ve had about 50 of those less ambitious ideas so far and there’s a good chance I could have been successful at one by now. Maybe not seven figures but, better than the zero we’re at now. For example, I’m looking at companies like OwlCrate, Diamond Candles, Tattly, S’well, etc. But, everytime I tried to sell my partner on the idea of downsizing and going into that direction, he wasn’t interested. Sometimes he would feign interest and revert back to the “big startup ideas” a few days later. His words paraphrased were, he didn’t see the point in building a million dollar company or a company that would only make $20 million or so a year. He wanted a billion dollar idea. In my mind, this sounded incredibly stupid because we had been tinkering on our ideas for three years now outside of college and hadn’t made a single cent. And despite my business partner pushing for us to continue focusing on the “big startup idea”, he refused to learn to program himself. In his mind, he thought that we could learn to code in 2-3 months and when he failed to learn enough in a summer, he quit and said we should just hire coders. He thought we could build a pitch deck and drum up money from investors for programmers. Didn’t work. So….after he quit seriously learning to code, I have since been building our platform while he does nothing.

    I’ve written about 20,000 lines of code so far but, I kinda want to abandon the project. I’m annoyed about so many things. In my partner’s mind, starting an idea that’s not “Facebook or Instagram” is not worthy of his time eventhough he can’t code a lick. In my mind, starting a business period is what I want to do because that’s all I wanted to do since I was 14 and I would love to be running any profitable business right now. Also, my partner is scared of taking even the slightest of risks. I had to force him to apply to seed incubators. He was scared to. I had to force him to reach out to investors. He was scared to. Once, he had an argument with me because I sent an email to a potential contact without talking to him. He’s scared of anything blowing back on him and ruining his future career prospects so every business decision he makes is filtered through that lens. I think being in a partnership with someone like that slowed me down because on my own before our partnership, eventhough my first few businesses failed (shoes, jewelry), I was not afraid at all to take risks, try new things and learn/adapt quickly. And I can’t help but, wonder if I never wasted years and years with him that I might’ve built something successful on my own now. Another sore point is that my younger cousin is already pulling in $200,000+ a year in his business but, unlike me, he never decided to get a business partner. Everyone works for him. Makes me a bit frustrated because I see how easy it is for him to run when he didn’t have an anvil as a partner slowing him down.

    My business partner’s career has started to take off in the past three years. Very happy for him as a friend. But as a business partner, seeing that he’s only doing about 10% of the work, it feels like I’m busting my ass and sacrificing my nights/weekends/livelihood to start “our business” while he focuses on his job but, expects to share 50% of the earnings should the idea ever take off. Like, we have weekly meetings where we’re supposed to discuss updates for the business and every week, I’ll have more and more code/features written for the site and he just talks about his promotion at work or “ideas” he’s thinking about.

    At this point, I just want to quit, cut off our business relationship, and start my own business. Forget that I wasted years of my prime/youth and get started on building my own company. I have plenty of ideas that I know I can get started on today (and I can atleast code somewhat now). Am I crazy? Am I wrong for feeling this way?
     
  2. Scuur
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    Scuur Bronze Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    When I was 18 I got an investor to invest a large amount of money into my first startup. It included my three best friends from HS all co-founders. We were also dreaming of the billions, the next big idea. I've been in similar shoes to you. Our business ultimately didn't end up working out. I see two options for you.

    Recommended.
    1.) Your honest and straightforward with your business partner. You tell him what you're currently doing is no way to live. That you are doing the majority of the work. While he gets paid and promoted. That you're going to start a smaller business or different business venture that will generate revenue or whatever you're after "Without Him". From experience, this may damage your relationship but its very fixable. If he doesn't get over it then he is not worth being business partners with.

    Not Recommended
    Also from experience
    2.) Push through and Suck it up, cringe everytime they tell someone it was their idea. I f*cking hate that btw. That you missing out on weekends fun nights and whatever else picking up their slack is okay. Having them say that they don't have to work because that's there 50%. Not doing anything remotely helpful and being annoying. Stating its to hard when you ask them to do something like learning to code. If they do something it is way past due and half-assed. They try to fix things that aren't broken. The list goes on of things I've seen and experienced all of these things and more. This only ends in ruining your relationship. If that sounds anything like what you are experiencing I recommended you go with some sort of option one.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2017
  3. theag
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    theag Most Aggressive Guy on the Internet on the Planet Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Yes.
     
  4. Scot
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    I read to this point and stopped.

    Yes.

    This describes my previous partner/Friend. He binge watches Gary V and other entrepreneur circle jerk videos but never put in any work. Hes the definition of wantreprenuer. Oddly enough, he’s the one who introduced me to Millionaire Fastlane, but he never got the motivation to join the Forum....

    Partnerships are about contributing to the part of the business you cannot perform yourself. He’s not doing that. Simple, cut him and move forward.
     
  5. JM35
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    I don't know if you guys have a serious partnership agreement drafted up together or not, or what each of you has invested to this point. But from my experience of working with some friends in ventures, if you are doing 90% of the work, but only getting 50% of the profits, you are working with the wrong partner.

    If you constantly have to tell them, and ask them to do things, then you are with the wrong partner. A good partner will work on the business on their own, without being asked or told. If this guy isn't one of these types of people, then find a way to push them out.

    It depends on how high of a conviction you have in this idea right now. You could always buy out his initial investment to get full control, or try talking to him to get him to understand, and tell him that he can stay in, but when the business starts making money, you want 90% of the profits. A lot of people will be happy to sit on their ass for 10%.
     
  6. AnOxfordMan
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    We set up an LLC and signed a partnership agreement last summer. Ironically, he was more excited about doing that than actually working and making money. I’m just going to bow out of the partnership all together. Before I would hesitate on making that decision because I didn’t want to give up on our big idea but, now that I realize he’s an albatross and it’s never going to happen, I’m ready to try on my own.
     
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  7. minivanman
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    Maybe I'm missing something but I don't think you have a business anyway.... what you have is a dream. Why do you have to do anything about it? Stop working on it... 3 years? Do you realize I've started 5 businesses and made profit in 3 years?... if he isn't working on it either how will he ever know? Or... did I miss something? I've been at the hospital all day with a friend so my mind might not be all with it today. Have you actually been in business or dream mode?
     
  8. MJ DeMarco
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    +1.

    Not just YES, but abso-FN-lutely-YES.

    Dude it just dead weight and playing you as his lottery ticket while he skates in his safe, secure job.
     
  9. StartToday
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    He provides no value to the business and will only cut your profits in half.

    Abandon ship, mayne.
     
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  10. Greg R
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    Yes. No question.
     
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  11. Kak
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    You talk a LOT about coding in your post... You do know most of us who do have functional businesses never cared to learn specific technical skills either? I don't see a problem with his thinking, I see a problem with the value he isn't providing and the pain in the ass he is being.

    If you believe you would be better off on your own, you have the best BUSINESS decision in a vacuum, but not necessarily the right BEING A MAN OF YOUR WORD decision which is usually the right BUSINESS decision in the real world. What were the terms of your partnership? Did he put money in? What were the responsibilities of each party?

    If you can in good conscience drop his ass because he isn't holding up his end of the agreement, what are you waiting for? If you're hesitant, you probably need to ask yourself why. Your name and reputation is important in business, I don't agree with scorched earth policies of some of these "zero fucks given" entrepreneurs. My advice. Give a f*ck and be a leader no matter what the decision.

    That said, as someone who has actually dropped a business partner, if this is truly ALL of the information, I would drop him.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2017
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  12. biophase
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    I could tell you YES by just reading the title. Anytime you have that thought the answer is going to be YES. And just abandon it too. Don't ask for anything at all, or it will cause friction. This way he can't say anything about it later.
     
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  13. ZCP
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    When to break up with a business partner or when to fire an employee are the same ..... the first time you think about whether you should.

    Hard lesson. Wish I had learned it sooner.
     
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  14. Harbourmaster
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    @AnOxfordMan Thank you for sharing your story.

    I’m going to be blunt - there is something very, very cringe worry about your post. I read it all the way through and was left with a deep “yuck” taste in my mouth afterwards.

    There is only one answer to your question. And I’m sure given the responses in this thread, you can figure out what you have to do.

    I’m going to take my answer one step further, and this is not meant to be insulting whatsoever... but why did this question need to be asked here? In business and in life, if you are going to be the one steering the ship you are going to have to make some decisions. Some will be tougher than others, but when your gut is screaming the answer - TAKE THAT ANSWER!!

    This “business partner” is offering no value and is using you. Why in the world would you give away 50% of your blood, sweat and tears to this person?
     
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  15. AnOxfordMan
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    First off, I have to say thanks to everyone in here. You all have given me the insight that I needed.

    I do appreciate the criticism and I have asked myself that question before (if I can't break up a simple partnership, what does that say?) but, I reached the boiling point. As far as your questions. I don't have problems making decisions. I'm a (calculated) risk taker. I have tough skin. And I'm quick to call things for what they are but, I had a blind spot when it came to my business partner for the following reasons:
    • Sunk costs: I felt like I had to make it work and continue chugging along or else the time was wasted.
    • Ideas: Our ideas were good. The thought of building them intoxicated me. Two ideas we had back in 2014/2015 ended up becoming major companies/brands. It validated us. We didn't/couldn't execute on those ideas so it was worthless but, it let us know that we weren't complete morons and that maybe if we kept going (or if I kept dealing with the issues that bothered me), maybe it would work out.
    • Friendship: He was my best friend since we were little kids. I can tell most people to take a hike. It was a bit harder telling my best friend to f*ck off. Before college, I never involved him in my money making schemes. He was never in the calculus whatsoever. I did everything solo. In hindsight, should've never started.
    • He did do work in college and he graduated with less career prospects than he should have. So I felt beholden to him to make this venture work despite the annoyances I had.
    Of course, in recent days, I came to the conclusion that it was doomed from the start because he's not built for entrepreneurship (not a Fastlaner). When I meet other partners, you get the feeling they were both "killers" so to speak. Maybe they had different unique personalities and skill sets but, the hunger to make money and be in business was still in them. My business partner wants to be successful but, he HATES risk. Wantrepreneur to the highest extent. I had to beg him to be in our video when we applied to incubators and even to apply in the first place. He didn't want his college friends to know he was attached to something if it wasn't "big" and "legit". He only wants to start a "game changing business" or else it's not worth it and he would rather work/have a career whereas for me having a business period is my goal because I don't want to work for anyone and I know ownership is the only route to wealth. He would look down at my younger relative's businesses because they aren't sexy startups but, he's like 24 making an obscene amount of money each year.

    I take responsibility for everything because I allowed his risk-adverse nonsense to fester in the first place. I don't blame him. He's still a good friend. I just know if I was on my own these past few years, like before, I would have started countless businesses by now and even if they all failed spectacularly and horrifically, I would have gained priceless business experience. Realizing this + him not doing anything anymore is what prompted the question. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being an asshole.
     
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  16. AnOxfordMan
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    I've read your book about four times and have used your approach to many things. Kinda crazy to see you in my thread. If you're validating my thought process, then that's all the advice I really need. Thanks.
     
  17. Alma Zamarly
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    I have really bad experience partnership with friends. Maybe it is not my luck at all to have friend that always cannot be a good partnership. Always bring trouble. So i decided to do my own stuff and with the help with my own family or brothers.

    Thanks for the long writing. It give me some kind of a good advice if happen to be i need to be partnership again
     
  18. HackVenture
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    The fact that you're posting this automatically makes it an absolute "YES".

    I'm not sure why you guys agreed to have you devote to this full-time and have him free to pursue his own career as that is a blatantly unfair arrangement and I'm not sure if I missed anything.

    You did mention you're taking responsibility for this situation but I just wanted to point that out again because yes, you do have to take some responsibility and not just play the blame game.

    Having the ability to make decisions yourself doesn't automatically make business easier, I've been on both ends, and like most others, my prior partnership didn't work out but the current one has worked out pretty well so far, having someone to bounce ideas off is sometimes so valuable as it alleviates the stress of fighting battles alone.

    You should definitely split but I hope you guys do it amiably and I hope he values your contribution so far.
     
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  19. AnOxfordMan
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    Update:

    Even though I made this thread in late December, I avoided having this discussion until last week because it was hard for me seeing that my partner was a very close friend/almost like family.

    Note: Don't go into business with your close friends. Seriously.

    A week ago (February), I finally told him I was out. Completely done. Ready to move on with my own ventures. It turned into a big argument but, I felt like a huge weight was lifted right afterward. I've since been researching what I want to go into. I feel alot more inspired/motivated and it's so much easier to make moves without having some guy you constantly have to argue with. I regret wasting alot of time. It's obvious now to me that he never wanted to be an entrepreneur. In all the years we spent chasing air we could've built 1-2 real companies. I'm still young. I'll always be bitter about the time wasted but, I know I can recover.
     
  20. Real Deal Denver
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    You are not only young, but incredibly young. Nothing to worry about on that front.

    More importantly, what you have went through has hardened you and given you drive and focus. Those are the tools that will elevate you to levels of success I don't think you could have otherwise obtained. You don't get that now - because you're so young. But you will, I can assure you.

    No need to be bitter. I am sure you are a much stronger and much wiser person today, and believe me when I say that those attributes are not easily obtained. Many people never do get them - ever.

    You did the right thing, and you did it the right way. You are a good person, and that is also something that too many people lack. You'll understand that a lot more as you go through life, too.

    Things don't happen by coincidence. This was a lesson, and you are now prepared and ready to take on bigger and better things. You don't know it yet, but your friend did you a favor in so many ways.

    Go forth!
     
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  21. MJ DeMarco
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    You made the right decision.

    Now the question is, will you still have a relationship with the guy? Or will he walk away bitter? And will he get bitter as you succeed?
     
  22. AnOxfordMan
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    Our families are close with each other, so yea. He's just not meant to be an entrepreneur. He'll be successful in his career, no doubt. But, he hates risk. Only talks about starting big startups but, refuses to take time to learn to code. He's not interested in starting smaller ideas (e-commerce, brands, products) we could have done. Considered it a waste. He reads stories of people making $300,000 a month and gets excited but, isn't interested in earning $500 a month to get started. Complete wantrepreneur. Complete waste of time. And I should've realized it earlier because when we were younger, before I attached myself to him, I was starting various businesses trying to get my foot in entrepreneurship and making money at it and he wasn't, thinking everything was a scam. Now we're done, I have no more excuses. I gotta figure out how to make it happen.
     
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  23. HackVenture
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    Yay!

    Reminds me of the last conversation I had with my ex-business partner. I remember having nightmares about it before we had it and was so glad to have it over and done with.

    Look forward to your progress thread, rooting for you!
     

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