Fastlane aspirations, Slowlane discipline; Successful on the outside, haven't accomplished anything

[speedwalking]

It was my birthday recently. Instead of celebrating, I decided to take the day off and spend it alone, thinking.

"What have I accomplished? What do I want to accomplish?"

The answer bothered me.

I quickly realized that every goal I have had since childhood is still just that -- a goal. I have accumulated a long list of things to accomplish with very few check boxes. I somehow manage to keep myself busy without making any meaningful progress.

To the outside world, I probably look like I am doing OK. My job lets me travel around the world, it pays well enough that I am able to save $50-60K per year after tax without any effort, etc.

My pockets slowly grow, and my body slowly ages, but that's it. Did I ever learn a new language? Nope. Did I ever write songs? Nope. Did I ever invest my own money? Nope. Did I ever launch my own company? Nope.

I have done an excellent job at faking success.

As much as I'd like to think that realizing this is enough to make me change, I don't know that it is. I have always understood the fastlane mindset -- even preached it. My struggle is in practicing it.

So, I guess I'll finish with a few things that I think have led me to this point:

Fear of Failure
I hold on tightly to my pennies. My net worth has only increased as the result of saving my active income. A good 80-90% of my net worth is cash in the bank. I want to invest passively, but haven't found anything that fits my underwriting criteria (conservative). I have business ideas and find reasons why they won't work before pursuing them.

Lack of Discipline
Enough said.

Lack of Patience
It takes time to be successful. Unfortunately, once the honeymoon wears off, I move on quickly. This applies to my dating life, music taste, job choices, etc. I struggle to stay focused on anything without near-term gratification and constant (visible) progress.

Skill Gap
If I am being honest with myself, I am not that smart. Clever, yes. Logical, usually. Intuitive, maybe. Smart, debatable. Most of my business ideas are pretty basic (i.e. only a step above the "let's start a T-shirt brand). I think this is because I don't have a deep understanding of any industry in particular. I have been a generalist my whole career. The few big ideas I have had are not possible for me to execute (no knowledge). For example, I thought about how wireless electricity could change the world when I was 14 or 15, but I had (and have) no knowledge of electricity or utilities. I didn't care enough to learn, I guess (see points above).

 

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[ZF Lee]

Welcome.
Don't be so sore that you 'didn't accomplish anything'. In fact, it's pretty impossible for one to not accomplish anything.
You have a job that lets you travel. Although definitely a job isn't the absolute way to earn wealth or provide massive value, the process in getting the job, as well as the experience it brings puts you ahead of many people.

Do you know how many people want to travel? Let alone a job that gives you the means to do so? You already accomplished some stuff!

Besides, you came here!
Not many people think of looking for answers or new ways of acting. Not many people chose to sign up for something that could change their lives.
To go against the grain, the social norm, is already an achievement by itself. You stand a better chance of making it.
But of course, no resting on your laurels!

Go read TMF . A much advanced read would be UNSCRIPTED . Although those two books are stand-alones, maybe UNSCRIPTED will do you good. It has more stuff on solving your mindset problems.

In the GOLD and NOTABLE pthreads are real life stories on fighting action faking. Check them out.

And if you have lots of goals, cut them down to the most vital and meaningful ones. I used to have lots of goals too myself....I wanted to write books (even had some drafts for them), become an artist or pianist, and take my girl out from the system of mediocrity, but I figured out that I needed to break out from the Slowlane first. Prioritising the Fastlane over my other goals was vital as I needed to learn skills like sales and communicating...which would eventually trickle down to my other potential ventures. Don't worry...it's not that they will run away either. It depend on your effort at the end of the day.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

it pays well enough that I am able to save $50-60K per year after tax without any effort, etc.

Congrats. This alone puts you in the realm of the 1%. Few have discipline.

A good 80-90% of my net worth is cash

I would suggest fixing this. If there is some type of global effect or monetary catastrophe, cash is the worst place to be. At least hard assets will adjust, as will paper assets which reflect hard assets.

As @ZF Lee suggested, give Unscripted a read. You are exactly what I spent 3 years writing it. It is your roadmap OUT.

Welcome to the forum and thanks for the introduction.

 

[ALC]

At least, the fact that you got enough cash to try different things is a good thing.

 

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[Tanishatheangel]

It was my birthday recently. Instead of celebrating, I decided to take the day off and spend it alone, thinking.

"What have I accomplished? What do I want to accomplish?"

The answer bothered me.

I quickly realized that every goal I have had since childhood is still just that -- a goal. I have accumulated a long list of things to accomplish with very few check boxes. I somehow manage to keep myself busy without making any meaningful progress.

To the outside world, I probably look like I am doing OK. My job lets me travel around the world, it pays well enough that I am able to save $50-60K per year after tax without any effort, etc.

My pockets slowly grow, and my body slowly ages, but that's it. Did I ever learn a new language? Nope. Did I ever write songs? Nope. Did I ever invest my own money? Nope. Did I ever launch my own company? Nope.

I have done an excellent job at faking success.

As much as I'd like to think that realizing this is enough to make me change, I don't know that it is. I have always understood the fastlane mindset -- even preached it. My struggle is in practicing it.

So, I guess I'll finish with a few things that I think have led me to this point:

Fear of Failure
I hold on tightly to my pennies. My net worth has only increased as the result of saving my active income. A good 80-90% of my net worth is cash in the bank. I want to invest passively, but haven't found anything that fits my underwriting criteria (conservative). I have business ideas and find reasons why they won't work before pursuing them.

Lack of Discipline
Enough said.

Lack of Patience
It takes time to be successful. Unfortunately, once the honeymoon wears off, I move on quickly. This applies to my dating life, music taste, job choices, etc. I struggle to stay focused on anything without near-term gratification and constant (visible) progress.

Skill Gap
If I am being honest with myself, I am not that smart. Clever, yes. Logical, usually. Intuitive, maybe. Smart, debatable. Most of my business ideas are pretty basic (i.e. only a step above the "let's start a T-shirt brand). I think this is because I don't have a deep understanding of any industry in particular. I have been a generalist my whole career. The few big ideas I have had are not possible for me to execute (no knowledge). For example, I thought about how wireless electricity could change the world when I was 14 or 15, but I had (and have) no knowledge of electricity or utilities. I didn't care enough to learn, I guess (see points above).

Remember no one is an island by yourself its not just you but you need others help to succeed

 

[urianasi]

Welcome.

Just remember: every day is an opportunity to do things differently. What you've done in the past don't necessarily define what you're going to do in the future.

Define what you want, and just start.