I think I'm done with this guy. And I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do...
I've known this person for over 15 years now. We worked together for about 8 years. I wouldn't consider him a friend; just an acquiaintance I've kept in touch with for many years mostly via instant messenger.
I can't tell you how much I've helped this person throughout the years. 15 years ago I helped him pass an important class for his bachelor's degree, which he would have failed without my help.
For years now I've mentored him on learning to program.
He's admitted that the help I've provided him was directly responsible for him impressing his bosses, and getting great raises throughout the years.
As a result of my help, he went from being someone who would struggle to get a job after getting laid off, to someone who just recently had to turn down multiple job offers. He's now making more money than some engineers. All because of my help.
He's a software tester, not a programmer, but some programming is involved. I've helped him remain relevant in a changing industry where no programming knowledge used to be required.
Whenever he needs help he sends me a message. And I help him not just with his personal coding projects, but I also help him figure out programming problems he's having at work!
So what's the problem? With all the help I provide, I can't even get the guy to meet me for lunch for an hour. It's been years of this. Me telling him that we should hang out, grab a drink, and nothing.
We used to hang out like once a year with a group of people, but that group is no longer around.
The last time we had lunch, it was because he had a ton of programming questions for me.
A few days ago he sends me a message again: "need your help."
WTF? I enjoy helping people, but the way I see it, he's just been using me for years, and can't even give me an hour of his time.
If you don't care to meet up every now and then, how is it OK to continue to ask me for help, even with your 9 to 5 job?
Am I wrong here?
I've known this person for over 15 years now. We worked together for about 8 years. I wouldn't consider him a friend; just an acquiaintance I've kept in touch with for many years mostly via instant messenger.
I can't tell you how much I've helped this person throughout the years. 15 years ago I helped him pass an important class for his bachelor's degree, which he would have failed without my help.
For years now I've mentored him on learning to program.
He's admitted that the help I've provided him was directly responsible for him impressing his bosses, and getting great raises throughout the years.
As a result of my help, he went from being someone who would struggle to get a job after getting laid off, to someone who just recently had to turn down multiple job offers. He's now making more money than some engineers. All because of my help.
He's a software tester, not a programmer, but some programming is involved. I've helped him remain relevant in a changing industry where no programming knowledge used to be required.
Whenever he needs help he sends me a message. And I help him not just with his personal coding projects, but I also help him figure out programming problems he's having at work!
So what's the problem? With all the help I provide, I can't even get the guy to meet me for lunch for an hour. It's been years of this. Me telling him that we should hang out, grab a drink, and nothing.
We used to hang out like once a year with a group of people, but that group is no longer around.
The last time we had lunch, it was because he had a ton of programming questions for me.
A few days ago he sends me a message again: "need your help."
WTF? I enjoy helping people, but the way I see it, he's just been using me for years, and can't even give me an hour of his time.
If you don't care to meet up every now and then, how is it OK to continue to ask me for help, even with your 9 to 5 job?
Am I wrong here?
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