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37yo single mom looking to get out of the rut

castanette

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Hello! I am a terribly responsible person, I have always done what they have told me to do, but... this is not where I wanted to end up. I can see that my current road is not getting me where I want to be. I want to change the road I walk.

As a child I was certain that I would get 3 kids and be a stay-at-home mom, able to pursue my artistic interests and reading. I grew up in socialist Estonia, where entrepreneurship was persecuted. I was a shy good girl, did well in school etc, and I had even hard time socializing - sales, marketing, business worlds were a nightmare to me. I picked my profession - Computer Science - because I imagined that I have to socialize less at it.

I am still stranger to these worlds, but I have changed a lot. I never got married. At 21, I had an accidental son with someone I knew I wouldn't be with very long (and we weren't, my son was 6 months when we finally broke up). Having to take care of my disabled son forced me to be more social, to learn, to fight for our livelihoods. I have changed a lot, I don't recognize the shy girl any more. Working in IT I have a pretty good salary for Estonia, but my time is not my own. My son needs me to be with him much more than I am able to be. I do work from home a lot, but I am still working even when I'm at home.

I am 37 and my son is 15 now and he also loves programming. However, due to his disability I know that he will not manage college and university, even this path to mediocrity is closed to him. The advisers think he is led towards less than that. I protest it! I need to invent a way for him to manage without it; and hopefully without a job. I am faced with this twofold motivation to get away from working for someone else and to become free financially, and thus free to use our time for what needs to be done. I want to do it for him and with him more than I want to do it for myself.

I stumbled upon Kiyosaki's book, which motivated me to search for investment seminars in my area, and someone who had just translated and started selling Fastlane book was also talking there (although for the most part, it was Slowlane talk there). That's how I found Fastlane Forums. I am still reading the book and Unscripted is still in to-read list and I am only starting to think of any options how to get on the fast lane, but I am determined to do it... I am fighting for my own life, and that of my son. I will do it.
 
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Thoelt53

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Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story.

Your English is outstanding, by the way.
 

WhoAmI

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Hello! I am a terribly responsible person, I have always done what they have told me to do, but... this is not where I wanted to end up. I can see that my current road is not getting me where I want to be. I want to change the road I walk.

I am fighting for my own life, and that of my son. I will do it.

Welcome to the forum!
You have recognized that a change is needed, now it's time to start moving towards your goals of being free.

Keep fighting, and don't give up!
 

Ankerstein17

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Welcome to the forum!

Your story is very inspirational, and I love how you mentioned your fighting for your own life and also your son!

That's very powerful motivation! Keep fighting, don't listen to other people and their opinions because you know your truth!

You can always message me if you are looking for someone to simply talk to. :)
 
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stefan

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Hi Castanette. Thanks for sharing your awesome story.

I understand that Estonia has a violent socialist past. But I'm extremely interested in the current climate of the country today.

It seems like your country has progressed wonderfully into an entrepreneurial, free-market society.

I'd go as far as saying that Estonia is one of the "hidden gem" countries of Europe because of how well your people have embraced technology, entrepreneurship, the internet, and even the English language.

Is there anything preventing you from starting an IT firm of your own?

You could always start by getting some clients of your own, handling the projects yourself, and then slowly outsourcing the work whenever you feel comfortable doing so.

Starting a digital marketing agency or software development company is probably one of the most "proven" formulas for generating a healthy amount of revenue over time.
 

I Am I Said

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The advisers think he is led towards less than that. I protest it! I need to invent a way for him to manage without it; and hopefully without a job

Good for you.

What are some possible businesses you could get into? Would you take a brainstorm challenge - come up with 10 ideas for your skills and his?

That's an exercise that has been forced on me a few times that has always led me to new ideas.
 

castanette

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Your English is outstanding, by the way.
Thanks, my written English is pretty good as I've been using it for work, entertainment and learning , but I have hard time speaking, haha.
 
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castanette

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Hi Castanette. Thanks for sharing your awesome story.

I understand that Estonia has a violent socialist past. But I'm extremely interested in the current climate of the country today.

It seems like your country has progressed wonderfully into an entrepreneurial, free-market society.

I'd go as far as saying that Estonia is one of the "hidden gem" countries of Europe because of how well your people have embraced technology, entrepreneurship, the internet, and even the English language.

Is there anything preventing you from starting an IT firm of your own?

You could always start by getting some clients of your own, handling the projects yourself, and then slowly outsourcing the work whenever you feel comfortable doing so.

Starting a digital marketing agency or software development company is probably one of the most "proven" formulas for generating a healthy amount of revenue over time.
Yes, currently Estonia is very pro-startup culture, it has turned around quite nicely - though the amount of marketing around our e-culture is much bigger than the actual situation would warrant, in my opinion. I didn't write very long about the history, but when the Soviet system fell, at first there were many people who got rich very quickly by all manner of scheming and barely legal means so it was said that nobody got their first million cleanly... It has changed now, and IT is in the forefront of getting rich stories here.

I have been very shy person myself, very afraid of starting something myself, and more focused on raising my son, believing in the story that if you work hard, there will be riches as well. I don't think I want to create a software development company - I've worked in one for 10 years, I've seen the good and the bad there. My idea is more to create one software system that would bring in enough for me and my son to live off it comfortably. I have still a lot to learn about the business side of it before I start it, though.
 

castanette

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What are some possible businesses you could get into? Would you take a brainstorm challenge - come up with 10 ideas for your skills and his?

That's an exercise that has been forced on me a few times that has always led me to new ideas.

Probably some mobile apps, web portals, even game server farms etc would be suitable ideas. I've been planning to have a brainstorming session with him, but I want to introduce the other concepts around money to him before doing that. One step at a time.
 
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MiguelHammond10

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Welcome to the forum!
from your story, you have really been through a lot a as a single mother with disabled Son
i can imagine how difficult it is but one thing i want to tell you is that,
never give up, keep fighting, keep pushing and you will get there and always encourage your Son
let him knows that He is not less than any other human.
God bless you and your Son.
 

KrzyszWawrzyniak

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That's a very inspiring story. You have my respect girl.

Not like I'm someone who's important, but this story ought to be on a "Topics You Must Read" list for new forum members.
 

castanette

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Welcome to the forum!
from your story, you have really been through a lot a as a single mother with disabled Son
i can imagine how difficult it is but one thing i want to tell you is that,
never give up, keep fighting, keep pushing and you will get there and always encourage your Son
let him knows that He is not less than any other human.
God bless you and your Son.
Thank You! I haven't given up so far and I will not give up now. Being single mother to a disabled son has been a blessing in disguise - I would never had grown as much as I have if I could have waded through life like everyone around me. I've had to push and fight, and it has made me stronger, made me *know* I can do it.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Welcome Castanette! Hope you get some value out of the books. And yes, your English is great, a lot better than some of the native English speakers here in the states.
 

lowtek

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Welcome aboard. Look forward to your success.
 
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ThirtyOne

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@castanette welcome. I don't know what kind of program you are looking to build, but I have an idea: programs built for the disabled.

What's an existing thing that performs a necessary function but is particularly difficult for disabled people to use? For example, "color blind mode" for smart phones or PCs for the color blind (they often have difficulty distinguishing certain colors and struggle with contrast, for example).

I'm not sure what disability your son has, but I'm sure you can come up with something that would be useful for him that could be useful for others who have a similar disability.
 

castanette

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Welcome Castanette! Hope you get some value out of the books. And yes, your English is great, a lot better than some of the native English speakers here in the states.

Thank you, MJ!

I have already gotten something out of the books - hope. Of course you're bashing hope in the book as a Slowlane thing, but without hope for results any action just won't get taken. From the Fastlane book I have gotten hope that I can actually give my son the good life I want to give him despite his disabilities; and hope that one day I will write the book I have had in mind for ages already (started several times, never completed) as if and when I have passive income, I could actually focus on it for a while.

I have also gotten a new goal out of this book. I kind of knew that one could get rich from entrepreneurship, but I never thought it could be me. I had just internalized this idea so much that I never even thought about trying. I know I can change, I know I can learn. Learning and analysis are some of my biggest strengths. I can learn about business, sales and marketing like I learned about the bureaucracy needed to get my son through the hoops without falling through; the basis of his disability and how to handle it; education system here, and especially what is mandatory and what can be ... modified. My son (most likely) will finish last mandatory school level in Spring without skipping any classes.

My plan is probably quite slow for a Fastlane plan. My current plan is to continue working my regular, pretty well-paid, job (controversial, I know) and learn until Spring. I already checked that we have 5 hours free consultation for starting business from a state agency. In case of an existing business plan, they are also giving some starting money (no strings attached as long as you use it for their given list of costs - like buying machinery/materials or using it for initial salaries and services until you turn profitable). I will definitely use their help once I have a better idea what I will be doing. My background in software analysis and business frameworks will be useful in getting there. I won't be actually working with actual ideas before I have finished the two books - and then I will put any ideas I have to the tests described there, in addition to the regular business plans etc. Then I'll finally know what it is I will be actually doing, but without that preparation, I don't think anything could actually come of it. One step at a time. And in Spring, when I should have the background, the idea and freed-up energy from handling my son's school stuff, I will start it. My son will do big part of the programming so it will be justified that he's benefiting from it. He will also grow from the experience. I will keep working to provide for us, but as I will have this freed-up energy, I should be able to do the analysis and business side while keeping the active income coming.

I would appreciate any criticism on that plan :) Just be kind - I am still just reading the book so I might have not thought about something there.

And yes, I've actually had that said about my English before, but you wouldn't think so if you heard me speak ;)
 

castanette

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@castanette welcome. I don't know what kind of program you are looking to build, but I have an idea: programs built for the disabled.

What's an existing thing that performs a necessary function but is particularly difficult for disabled people to use? For example, "color blind mode" for smart phones or PCs for the color blind (they often have difficulty distinguishing certain colors and struggle with contrast, for example).

I'm not sure what disability your son has, but I'm sure you can come up with something that would be useful for him that could be useful for others who have a similar disability.

My son has autism, attention deficit disorder and high sensitivity to temperature (he likes it very cold), irregular sound, bright light.

It is difficult to make something for autism as it varies from Rainman (or even worse) to your regular class nerd, with high incidence of related disabilities and mental problems which are often more of a problem than the autism itself. In my son's case, his disability makes him difficult to be in your regular school or work environment, but at home he spends nights programming away and one-to-one you can have very intelligent conversations and fun with him. He has found his only friends in playing games online, he feels comfortable there. Because of his attention deficit disorder, it is very difficult for him to focus on anything he is not particularly interested in, although meds help a bit.

So I think whatever we do, it has to come from his gaming/online needs. There are tons of youngsters out there getting their fix for entertainment, community and escape from the real world; and my son is now looking around there, trying to identify needs that would be possible to solve. I've had my initial discussions with him, and we have a few very generic ideas, but we'll keep looking.
 

racyred09

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Hello! I am a terribly responsible person, I have always done what they have told me to do, but... this is not where I wanted to end up. I can see that my current road is not getting me where I want to be. I want to change the road I walk.

As a child I was certain that I would get 3 kids and be a stay-at-home mom, able to pursue my artistic interests and reading. I grew up in socialist Estonia, where entrepreneurship was persecuted. I was a shy good girl, did well in school etc, and I had even hard time socializing - sales, marketing, business worlds were a nightmare to me. I picked my profession - Computer Science - because I imagined that I have to socialize less at it.

I am still stranger to these worlds, but I have changed a lot. I never got married. At 21, I had an accidental son with someone I knew I wouldn't be with very long (and we weren't, my son was 6 months when we finally broke up). Having to take care of my disabled son forced me to be more social, to learn, to fight for our livelihoods. I have changed a lot, I don't recognize the shy girl any more. Working in IT I have a pretty good salary for Estonia, but my time is not my own. My son needs me to be with him much more than I am able to be. I do work from home a lot, but I am still working even when I'm at home.

I am 37 and my son is 15 now and he also loves programming. However, due to his disability I know that he will not manage college and university, even this path to mediocrity is closed to him. The advisers think he is led towards less than that. I protest it! I need to invent a way for him to manage without it; and hopefully without a job. I am faced with this twofold motivation to get away from working for someone else and to become free financially, and thus free to use our time for what needs to be done. I want to do it for him and with him more than I want to do it for myself.

I stumbled upon Kiyosaki's book, which motivated me to search for investment seminars in my area, and someone who had just translated and started selling Fastlane book was also talking there (although for the most part, it was Slowlane talk there). That's how I found Fastlane Forums. I am still reading the book and Unscripted is still in to-read list and I am only starting to think of any options how to get on the fast lane, but I am determined to do it... I am fighting for my own life, and that of my son. I will do it.
Wow, Castanette! You certainly have a powerful "why". You sound like someone who fights hard for what she wants and I can't wait to see what you accomplish!
 

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