So, as some of you know, for a while now, I've been getting sh*t done. No way around saying it.

The problem is, when I'm home and working at my computer, my roommates are downstairs watching television all day and night.

They go to work, get home, sit in front of the tv for 5 hours, and then go to bed and repeat the process.

When I get home (from work, business meetings, etc) and go almost straight to work on my website I start feeling superior to them, because I'm doing something and they aren't.

Now, I really don't care about this attitude, except that I find it is starting to interfere with my concentration and productivity.

The mere fact that I know they are downstairs (as they are right now at this moment) pisses me off to no end. The root of the anger comes from the fact that they aren't living up to their potential (or maybe they are).

Any tips on stopping being an immature baby? It's none of my business what they choose to do with their lives. But it always creeps back into my mind.

Appreciate any responses

Haha. I do the same thing as you. I stopped watching tv for like weeks now.

But I dont feel superior to others, but I always tell myself that I will have that Lamborghini by age 21.

Let them live their own life Ryan, they are growing up. We all are.
Just some of us dont waste our time watching tv because we are doing something productive for ourselves that will give us freedom in the future.

This may not be an immediate answer to your problem, but over the long term perhaps consider surrounding yourself with motivated people like yourself...

You know the saying: "if you want to be happy, surround yourself with happy people"....well, same thing is true for motivation.

That's not the real root of the anger. Stop being a little bitch about it... if it bothers you that much, motivate yourself and move out!

Haha, now that I have your attention, I've been through this. Normally, we project onto others what we're too weak to accept of ourselves.

My hunch is that you are not doing everything you could do, so you use other's weaknesses as an outlet. I know, I used to do it.

Watch this. What You Can Learn About Finding Success From The Man Who Was Lost In the Jungle – With Yossi Ghinsberg | Business Tips

mtnman said:

That's not the real root of the anger. Stop being a little bitch about it... if it bothers you that much, motivate yourself and move out!

Haha, now that I have your attention, I've been through this. Normally, we project onto others what we're too weak to accept of ourselves.

My hunch is that you are not doing everything you could do, so you use other's weaknesses as an outlet. I know, I used to do it.

Watch this. What You Can Learn About Finding Success From The Man Who Was Lost In the Jungle – With Yossi Ghinsberg | Business Tips

Click to expand...

Pretty much right on.

I was watching a Les Brown speech where he asked the audience 'how many of you know, that if you could have lived your life over, you'd have accomplished much more than you have already?'

That hit home.

But I figure I'm productive about 80% of the time. The other 20% is giving in to some form of temptation. Getting better though, used to be a 0/100 (0% productive, 100% lazy).

I was watching the stanley cup finals the other day, when I ended up getting into a discussion with a roommate. She was completely in agreement with me that both of our time could be better spent on other things, rather than watching the hockey game.

She even went on to admit that she had a lot of other things that needed to be done.

After the conversation (which was a good one), I couldn't just sit there and continue to watch when I knew that I should be doing bigger things, and things that needed to get done.

So I got up, and got to work (I can't even remember what it was that I was doing, but I got it done), while she just sat there and watched the game...and then watched even more tv after that. I was shocked.

Andrew Carnegie (by most account American first billionaire) said that the hugely successful individual is the man, who in his secrets thoughts, believes himself superior to most men, thus deserving of great wealth and power.

RyanDrake said:

So, as some of you know, for a while now, I've been getting sh*t done. No way around saying it.

The problem is, when I'm home and working at my computer, my roommates are downstairs watching television all day and night.

They go to work, get home, sit in front of the tv for 5 hours, and then go to bed and repeat the process.

When I get home (from work, business meetings, etc) and go almost straight to work on my website I start feeling superior to them, because I'm doing something and they aren't.

Now, I really don't care about this attitude, except that I find it is starting to interfere with my concentration and productivity.

The mere fact that I know they are downstairs (as they are right now at this moment) pisses me off to no end. The root of the anger comes from the fact that they aren't living up to their potential (or maybe they are).

Any tips on stopping being an immature baby? It's none of my business what they choose to do with their lives. But it always creeps back into my mind.

Appreciate any responses

Click to expand...

RyanDrake said:

Pretty much right on.

I was watching a Les Brown speech where he asked the audience 'how many of you know, that if you could have lived your life over, you'd have accomplished much more than you have already?'

That hit home.

But I figure I'm productive about 80% of the time. The other 20% is giving in to some form of temptation. Getting better though, used to be a 0/100 (0% productive, 100% lazy).

I was watching the stanley cup finals the other day, when I ended up getting into a discussion with a roommate. She was completely in agreement with me that both of our time could be better spent on other things, rather than watching the hockey game.

She even went on to admit that she had a lot of other things that needed to be done.

After the conversation (which was a good one), I couldn't just sit there and continue to watch when I knew that I should be doing bigger things, and things that needed to get done.

So I got up, and got to work (I can't even remember what it was that I was doing, but I got it done), while she just sat there and watched the game...and then watched even more tv after that. I was shocked.

Click to expand...

You're human right?

Look at what you just said. If you could live your life over, would you be happy? See that, would you be happy... your standard is the only standard that matters.

If you knock it out of the park 80% of the time, is that good enough for you? Or is it not good enough for some imaginary scale??

Why are you worried so much about comparing yourself to others. You have made great changes in your life and attitude in the last year Ryan. Check out some of your old posts and see the difference. You are still growing and that's cool but you will grow at your own pace.

RyanDrake said:

I was watching the stanley cup finals the other day, when I ended up getting into a discussion with a roommate. She was completely in agreement with me that both of our time could be better spent on other things, rather than watching the hockey game.

She even went on to admit that she had a lot of other things that needed to be done.

After the conversation (which was a good one), I couldn't just sit there and continue to watch when I knew that I should be doing bigger things, and things that needed to get done.

So I got up, and got to work (I can't even remember what it was that I was doing, but I got it done), while she just sat there and watched the game...and then watched even more tv after that. I was shocked.

Click to expand...

Funny you mentioned this. As you know, the DALLAS MAVERICKS are the NBA champs. But I could not sit and watch any of the games in full length. By the time the final series started I was listening to most of the game on the radio and I would watch the last 5 minutes on TV. I cannot just sit and spend 3 hours of my life watching other people having fun. So, yeah, the mavericks won and I am happy, but I did not blow 18 hours watching the 6 games so LBJ wasn't talking to me.

Runum said:

Why are you worried so much about comparing yourself to others. You have made great changes in your life and attitude in the last year Ryan. Check out some of your old posts and see the difference. You are still growing and that's cool but you will grow at your own pace.

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I didn't realize I was comparing myself to others, but that does make sense... because obviously in order to feel superior/better I would have to be comparing myself to someone or something else.

I can't honestly answer that question. Maybe one day I'll know the answer.

I didn't even know that the Mavericks won. (Mark Cuban's team?) All I know is Lebron lost, and I think he plays for miami? haha

mtnman said:

You're human right?

Look at what you just said. If you could live your life over, would you be happy? See that, would you be happy... your standard is the only standard that matters.

If you knock it out of the park 80% of the time, is that good enough for you? Or is it not good enough for some imaginary scale??

Click to expand...

I hold a little resentment towards myself, because had I taken action sooner, I could be so much further in life. No matter how hard I work on my goals, there's always that reminder in the back of my head saying 'hey, had you done what you're doing now, 3 or 4 years ago, you'd already be where you want to be'

To feel superior to another is not a desirable personality trait. It tends to speak to something deeper; perhaps a resentment or insecurity. I don't know. The only way to manage this is self-awareness, which unfortunately for some, may always elude them.

Good luck and best regards!

I might have to rephrase it.

I don't feel superior as a human being, but I feel that my choice of actions are superior to those of most of my peers.

Not sure if there's a difference, but I think there is.

Actually, I'm confused.

I realize that the reason people usually compare one another only in financial terms, is because money is quantifiable. For example, you can't calculate the life saving impacts of a nurse or a doctor, but you can approximate their salaries.

For that reason, there is a social class.

We have the rich, the middle class, and the poor. (upper, lower, etc)

To be politically correct, 'everyone is equal'... but at the same time, how do you define 'equal', 'superior', 'inferior', etc. It can't be quantified.

I think it was Jim Rohn that said that you are paid based on how valuable you are to society. (whether self employed or otherwise).

And this is true.

The 30 year old self made millionaire and the minimum wage teenager are not of equal value to society (at least at the present time)... so what does that make a wealthy/self made/goal/action oriented person in relation to a (at present) naive fast food working teenager? (or any example)

What I'm getting at is, that I think the reality is that not only is everyone not equal, but that no one is equal, and yet it is almost impossible to determine how to quantify what a 'superior' person is to a 'inferior' person, other than with what can be quantified..which is money. But money is only a fraction of the whole of a person. Love, kindness, compassion, friendships, health, volunteerism, (I could go on) are all important aspects. But none of these can be calculated.

So I think I've just gotten my answer, through my own deduction. Yes, nobody is equal, and these things can't be quantified, so why get frustrated about something that you'll never have the answer to?

Haha, I already feel better. (the emotion, not 'better' as in comparing people hahahah)

And also, what could I possibly have to gain by figuring out who is better than someone else in the first place.

Jeez, life is a never ending pursuit of knowledge and ignorance destruction!

RyanDrake said:

And also, what could I possibly have to gain by figuring out who is better than someone else in the first place.

Jeez, life is a never ending pursuit of knowledge and ignorance destruction!

Click to expand...

Ryan, there's something else you don't seem to be considering: on every list of what makes people happy in life, the top thing is relationships with other people, not money. Watching a game with a friend is time well spent.

To feel superior to another (in any way shape or form be it as a human being or actions or whatnot) is not a desirable personality trait. It tends to speak to something deeper; perhaps a resentment or insecurity. I don't know. The only way to manage this is self-awareness, which unfortunately for some, may always elude them.

We may not be equal by human-made metrics (money, IQ, EQ, strength, artistic ability, etc.), but those metrics are inconsequential.

To feel superior because of a supposed advantage in one of a million traits or abilities is inconsequential.

We are all equal. We are born. We do things. We die. That is truth.

Best regards.

maralevin said:

Ryan, there's something else you don't seem to be considering: on every list of what makes people happy in life, the top thing is relationships with other people, not money. Watching a game with a friend is time well spent.

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Not for me. Certainly not when I have other things that need to be done.

I have fun DOING things with my friends, not vegetating in front of a television watching other people do things, while in the company of my friends.

Everyone's different I suppose.

Anyway, have fun discussing. I'm happiest when I'm getting things done, so best of luck everyone.

It is interesting that we call ourselves human 'beings' but spend most of our time being human 'doing'.

How many individuals are enlightened enough to allow themselves to simply 'be'?

This thread has many interesting concepts to think about. Thanks for sharing!

I've become accustomed to one person or another picking apart everything I type on this forum. It's my fault for having posted a topic of a provocative nature.

Hope other people find some value in what results.

I'm not convinced. And I'm entitled to believe whatever I choose to believe when dealing with things that are not concrete facts, as do you.

You would think that by now I would know to keep the threads that I start purely on business/entrepreneurship matters. Maybe I'll finally remember this.

No harm, I learned a few things, and strengthened a few of my previous opinions. Everything is a learning experience.

Your roommates are slackers? Look at this as an opportunity to work on leadership skills. Run down stairs and make up random problems that you may or may not need help with and start bouncing ideas off of each other. Maybe you get a new idea from the brainstorming session and then ask them if they are interested in perusing it and that you will help them. Just a thought.

The biggest successes had inferiority problems. The nerds or the perceived looser like Gates, Ellis, Jobs, etc all had a MONSTER MOTOR inside of them, they had something to prove. The superior people may become complacent.

Ask yourself this. If your roommates were very successful and you were the looser trying desperately to make something work, WOULD YOU WORK HARDER THAN YOU ARE NOW? Would you be doing things differently because you are the one that is behind?

I both agree and disagree w/gofalls (gofigure :smx2: )

Don't bother trying to motivate slackers.

But DO consider running with a motivated, driven success-oriented crowd.

They will challenge you to perform better--- just as running w/faster runners will make you a better runner (compared to running next to people who are walking, or standing still).

********

Ryan, when I was in college, I was delivering pizzas from 3 to 11 each day (sometimes later). I'd go to class starting at 8 am or 10 am, and it would run until around 2 or 3. I'd start my pizza job, and when I got off at 11, I'd study until 4 am.

I'd sleep until 7:30 or 9:30, depending on when my classes started.

And I'd sleep a LOT on Saturday-- my one day to "catch up".

I was lucky enough to fall in love w/one of my roomies (just kinda happened). She was great-- perhaps not as driven as me, but was on the college swim team, had great grades, and was on her way to law school.

Anyways, I, too, felt superior to the students to whom I'd deliver pizza-- I'd see them studying/partying, while I was working my way through med school. Definitely had a chip on my shoulder about it.

I just had to deal w/it. I felt that way b/c it was UNFAIR. I had to work my a** off, and they didn't. Well-- not as much as me.

But you know what?

Life isn't fair.

And the sooner I learned that-- embraced it-- and turned it to my advantage (ie, I no longer was bothered by others who had it easier), then-- life for me got a LOT better.

And, easier.

Because I wasn't stressing about the imbalance betwixt me and others.

And the more I STOPPED looking at that sh*t, the more productive I became.

Seriously.

I do the same to this day.

While others are sleeping, I'm online. Learning. Doing. Moving forward.

And comparing myself to no one-- measuring myself against no one . . .

. . . but myself.

-Russ H.

Russ,

What happened after med school and pizza? Please tell us more about your story.

I can totally relate. I'm out the door before my roommates even wake up (7am), and I'm in bed long after they've already gone to sleep (1am).

I also agree that it has to do a little bit with jealousy. The fact that they do almost nothing (which is easy) and the fact that I'm doing a lot.

But I realize that I'm sacrificing short term conveniences for long term success.

Like I said, I was subconsciously comparing myself to my roommates. Now that I'm aware of it, there's no reason to continue this behavior.

I think I would have to agree with Russ on the part about surrounding yourself with more motivated people. You have to determine for yourself what it is in life you want and then figure out how to make it work. Running with better runners DOES improve your running.

I think I have told this story on this forum before, but back in high school when I played soccer we lost to the worst team in the league but 2 weeks later we beat the leading team in the league. According to the coach, and all the players agreed at the time, the reason we lost to the worst team in the league even though our potential was so much higher was because we played down to their level. We were even told at half time to stop playing down to their level and pretend they were the best team in the league. Even doing this we lost 1-0. We just couldn't score.

2 weeks later we played the best team in the league and we beat them 5-4. It was an awesome game and we played up to their level.

I think that in life you need to surround yourself with motivated, intelligent, and goal oriented people. There are times when I have to be around others who are not so charming. Let's say reunion time, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. Sometimes in business you deal with people you don't care to. But that's life. When it's time to be with people you want to be with, pick the ones that will lift you up, not crush your dreams, and support you.

You have to remember that not all people are "equal".

At the end of the day the average person is a moron, and half the country is below average. Just by being in the top 10% economically, which isn't very hard you are "better" than 90% of the country. Its not really that impressive until you are in the top 1%-2%.


Its not PC but its just the way it is, the high school educated burger flipper doesn't travel in the same circles as a CEO or doctor who achieved success in their field. They have very little in common in regards to intelligence level and interests both inside and out of work, and cannot relate to each other.

Its not a personality defect, its a very important thing to be aware of. In the wild Lions hang out with Lions, and pray animals heard together. You won't see a Lion relaxing with Zebra. Its no different in our society, we just chose not to address it because its not PC.

IMHO your better off trying to make friends with people on your level. You will be able to relate to them.

Political correctness is ruining our society. At the end of the day there is a reason that some people get to live in the big houses and others are cutting the grass, working for them. Its simply the accumulation of life choices they made and opportunities they received, and a bit of genetics.

"If you believe that the chemical reactions in your brain are governed by the Laws of Physics, then there is no room for free will." - Anonymous

"I cannot understand what people mean when they talk about free will. I have a feeling, for instance, that I will something or other; but what relation this has with freedom I cannot understand at all. I feel that I will to light my pipe and I do it; but how can I connect this up with the idea of freedom? What is behind the act of willing to light the pipe? Another act of willing?" - Albert Einstein

In reality you're not superior to them, and they are not superior to you. Your "future" money only means value to you, but to them it doesn't mean anything. You could be the richest man on the world, but you aren't superior. What society considers you means nothing. It's an illusion.

What matters mostly if you're happy, and you are doing what you wanted to do with your life.

There's no competition. There's people who are being more productive then you. More intelligent then you. More gifted, born with a silver spoon, born with unearthly beauty. There's Robert Patterson (or however you spell that name), and more women would sleep with him than you. There's heirs to fortunes, and more women will sleep with them.... There's always someone better than you.... so who are you?

Why do I care about you? I don't. How are you superior? You're a nobody, you're just a young guy with dreams of being a millionaire. Then you walk out of the bank and there's a young 18-year old celebrity or heir to wealth, and you're already aging.

Fast forward 60 years from now, and you're close to death.

And there walks another fresh face 18 year old guy, and he's already a billionaire, and you look into the mirror, and know you will die soon.

So are you superior? No, you're just a human being who thinks he's superior. But in reality, no one loves you. No one cares about you. You're not superior, but pretend you are, since the world is your idea. Life is your mind.

But that doesn't mean you're not superior ON THE SURFACE... You probably are superior to a lot of people. Reality is nothing matters, and "on the surface" you are. I hope that makes sense.

To me being superior, means better health/wealth/beauty/common sense/originality/and just being overall better than the next person. I know I am superior to 50-60% of human kind. Look at Africa, look at poor countries in Asia, look at them.... they contain human kind. Now the rest of 30%, well I am better than the druggists, the prostitutes, drunken old men who wasted their lives, and most people who wasted their lives away and are plain stupid. I am better than mentally disabled people too, and I say that, since it's reality.

But does it matters, not really, since the world is your idea. The mentally disable people can look at me, and think "Duhhh pretty girl... duhhh butterflies, I like pretty girl". And to them being superior/inferior doesn't matter.

Lights are you on drugs? I need whatever you're smoking because your responses in every thread are ...well, no word can quite describe it.

RyanDrake said:

Lights are you on drugs? I need whatever you're smoking because your responses in every thread are ...well, no word can quite describe it.

Click to expand...

It's called personality. I actually have no idea how I made myself like this, but I absolutely love myself. Basically, it's thinking outside the box 24/7, and never taking life seriously at all. If you really want to read every thread/statement I ever made.... (not sure if you want to read more posts about me in other forums), then I'll send you a PM and give you a list of forums where I visit often enough.

But most of the time, when I start writing... I usually write what I am thinking, and then I elaborate it, and then I paint a beautiful picture with my words. It's like a drawing every time I post something, and I love to see people reading it and thinking, "Hmmm w..o...w....". But that's not the reason why I think like this lol. It's really just me writing what I am thinking, and then its so different from most people, it's like, "wtf" moments. People will think either this

1. Insane lunatic.
2. A troll
3. An enlightened person

But I'm really quite normal.

I am against drugs, since it's pure stupidity. I will never touch it, and nor do I associate myself with it.

~
off-topic here with the fastlane though

Ryan, I used to feel that way until I cut all of them out of my life for almost 2 months now. It feels great, I perform better. It's akin to taking that backpack full of useless crap off when you are running a 5km run.

I'm not sure if you can relate to this, but whenever I spend time with someone who is an 'energy vampire' I tend to feel all zapped out at the end of the day. I've chosen to cut these people loose, I'm pretty much running a solo race with myself now. It feels great, especially when I feel like giving up. I just go 3 more push-ups, 3 more minutes, 3 more of whatever I'm doing that I know I should.

You'll be surprise how solitude can help at times like what you are going through now, the mental clarity you get from staying away from distraction is just priceless. In a lot of ways, I was always easily distracted until I read JamesF's progress. That set me off on the most productive weeks so far. He's a huge inspiration for me personally. I always ask myself nowadays when I feel like comparing to the others not doing anything, "Right this very moment, JamesF is building his next startup. I should be working on my plans for a better tomorrow too!" and jump back into the fray. I divert my comparison to aspiration.

With that said, just let others be. Let them think you are boring, or whatever. They have chosen to be happy that way, it's all personal preference at the end of the day. Just be more concern about what you want for yourself in 24 hours. Time is king!

Haha, i have the same, but with my girlfriend.

I cant stand it when i am being as productive as i can be and she is just watching drama all day or something similar.

Luckily i can motivate her now and then ^-^.

My tip: Show people what you achieved with succes and hand them some easy opportunities to make some money too. Once they see how it,s done it gets a bit easier,and a house with people with similar interest is just a nicer way of living really.

Side note:
About tv..never watch it...bunch of brainwashing crap. If i hear there is a good show, i download it without the commercials.