Regrets, how do you cope?

[Writer]

How do you get over regrets?
Regrets are probably my biggest hurdle; yes I tend to live on the past and I am trying to figure out how to get out of such mindset and looking brightly at the future, but sometimes it ain’t easy!

 

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[Mike Kavanagh]

How do you get over regrets?
Regrets are probably my biggest hurdle; yes I tend to live on the past

It's only hard if you make it that way.

Live without regrets. Why?
You aren't dead yet, are you?

 

[RBefort]

Don't regret it, learn from it and move on. Be present. Every moment you are in is the present. You are where you are from the choices you made. that said, you can fix your "next present" moment by making a choice this very second. Life is just a game...go and do what you want, when you want to do it. Are the regrets you have really life or death? "This too shall pass...."

 

[SteveO]

I know what you mean. It is easy to get caught in that trap.

The thing is that you are a phenomenal and creative human being. Your life and all that you see around you is your creation. It is amazing to behold. No need to judge what is good or bad.

Just be who you are and do your thing. There is nothing to regret. Your life is filled with experiences for you... nothing more.

 

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[sle3pyguii]

I realize that there's nothing I can do about what already happened (unless someone wants to call Doc Brown), and try not to make that mistake again. If it's something I can get a second chance at, I use the regret and channel that into motivation to turn that second chance into a success.

 

[theag]

I dont, I just move on.

 

[projectalpha]

Like the book says, the universe doesn't care about what happened in the past. Move on. Learn from whatever it was, and make that lesson an accelerant.

 

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[AndrewNC]

There is nothing to regret. Your life is filled with experiences for you... nothing more.

This holds so much truth to it.

Have you ever noticed that the 'deepest darkest times' in your life are when you make an action that helps you grow the most? I was unemployed after college for a while, and it got me in a bad place to be in for a couple of years....during that time I was fed up with jobs and found the millionaire fastlane . Now here I am today not looking back.

I used to view all my situations like that as bad/things I regret...but as soon as I realized that they were experiences that taught me a lesson to be better...The issue of regrets completely went away.

@Writer - I've been in there. Hopefully my story above allows you to realize that the things that happened, actually had some of the most positive effects on our entire life. Things we screw up on now will have positive effects for our futures.

With the problem of living in the past, read the power of now by eckart tolle. That book should allow you to open up to the concept of 'the now is the only real thing'...It took me a year and a half from reading that book for this lesson to sink in my mind...and you can do it much quicker than I did because I wasn't looking for the answer.

I see what you are learning in this thread, and reading the lessons in that book allowing you to get past this obstacle by next week.

 

[Testament]

@Writer I used to be overcome with regrets myself. Still am every now and then, but maybe at about 10% of what it used to be. I'd highly recommend purchasing "The Power of Now" audiobook by Eckhart Tolle, and also "A New Earth," by the same author. Those books changed the way I view the world, and helped me to stop being so hard on myself for past mistakes. The audiobook part is pretty key - otherwise the books themselves (for me at least) could get pretty hard to follow.

Also you can try out NLP routines to help overcome regret attacks. Reframe the situation in your mind. There are some questions that I'll ask myself when I want to do that. Any time you want to take a failure to a lesson, just ask yourself "What did I learn from that experience?" What did I learn about myself? Another good one to ask yourself is, "What's funny about that situation that I never realized before?"

Here's a quick NLP vid I found - it's not the one I wanted to grab, but it's still good stuff:

If you like it, I can try and search a little harder for a routine I used to do that would help emotionally seperate me from past events that were bringing me pain.

 

[nzerinto]

How do you get over regrets?

That's easy - for me it's the thought of the further regrets I'll have if I don't do something/change/take action etc. I make sure the pain of having more regrets is higher than past regrets. What's done is done, you can't change that - the only thing you can do is change what's in front of you, and that in itself will ease or remove the pain of regret in the future.

 

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[Wuz]

the only regret a person should have is having "no regrets"

if you have no regrets it means you did not try anything bold or out of the norm.

You live with fear of trying something new, and so you decide to do what is"normal"

When it comes to thinking, it will depend on the person.

Some people are more directed to thinking in "what is next" (Think in the future)


Others are more focused on now (they dont care SO much about past or future, but they think as well, just less)


Some people are more focused on the past.


You can use this an an advantage to learn something from your previous experiences, so you can do better next time, whether it is business, relationships or health.

 

[Writer]

thank you for all the replies. Each one carries a strong message. I hereby promise - to myself - to live in the present. Today, the past is just a theoretical lesson. It will take time and training, but I will have to do it.

 

[BJBossman]

I'm having a hard time learning from a lot of the dumb decisions I made when i was 18-22

- transferring schools due to baseball reasons
- not transferring back to a better school after I got hurt
- going to law school.

The only thing I really learned is that formal education is a borderline scam and to try and not worry about it. But at the same time it would've been huge for my network to have an alumni association that had some more top performers and successful entrepreneurs.

 

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[AndrewNC]

time and training

As you begin to read the power of now and learn some NLP...you will start practicing and understanding how each one of those things will help your life. When you begin to practice this stuff, you will actually realize that, by practicing this stuff a few times...you will be over your old issue with regrets.