Need Your Advice...

[Jimbo]

Hey guys! Need some advice on a particular situation with family/friends that I'm sure many of you have been through before. I just need another opinion (from other Fastlaners and like minded people) to add some clarity to my train of thought.

Okay so...

So my partner's Mum calls us up, and has a long discussion with the missus about starting this new business. She has her mind set on "I need a website built to do this/that/whatever. Basically saying "Oh you know all about websites, can you build this, run it, host it, maintain it, sell products on their for me etc etc".

I tell the missus once she get's off the phone that next time we're over at her parent's house, I'll sit down with her Mum and discuss what her best options are to get started.

Anyway, I go over there, have a chat with her and on numerous times throughout the conversation she butts in and pretty much insists on how this will be such a good business for me to get involved in. I politely tell her that I just don't have the time, but I'm happy to offer some advice and/or help when she gets stuck on certain things. I tell her that her best bet is to just start by trying to get one sale, even if it's on eBay. And telling her how eBay as a massive customer base already, with a huge number of buyers for her type of product. Just validate your idea, sell a couple of items and get the ball rolling. Then we can discuss the possibility of building out an eCommerce store (and the most important part, how you're going to get traffic to it).

Few weeks later she contacts again asking when I have time to come over and discuss with her (and the other business partner) how I'll get involved and be building the website etc. Again I politely tell her that I just don't have the time to get directly involved. But once she has things up and running (using existing market places to sell the items) I'll help her out some more.

I've sat down with the missus and discussed it. Telling her that I don't have the time at the moment, as I already have a full-time job and my own project to work on in the evenings/weekends. I pretty much get the reply of "so your time is worth so much more than hers bla bla bla".

What do I do?

- Encourage the Mum to take action on her own. Therefore showing that she has the drive/work ethic to start this business and ultimately continue growing it.

or

- Build the site for her, even though she has no plan on how to get traffic to the site. I even sat down with her and discussed how it is pointless to build an eCommerce store that get's no traffic.

Even though this is not "direct" family. I'm still trying to choose my words wisely. As I don't want to cause any unnecessary tension.

Also, sorry for the long post! Appreciate anyone that reads it and offers some advice!

 

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[ChickenHawk]

Since you asked for advice...
Whatever you do, don't get involved except in the barest possible way to avoid offending her. But what people like this want (even nice ones) is for you to put forth all the expert and expertise, so they can "be entrepreneurs" and earn money. They don't consciously realize that this is what they are asking, and they would be offended if you pointed this out. But this is what it boils down to.

Once you touch this project, you will never, ever be able to rid yourself of it without offending everyone. You will offend them less in the long run by staying as far away from it as possible right from the get-go. If you touch it, you will be the bad guy later on MUCH worse, because you will have "abandoned" the project, and only you will have the expertise, bla bla bla...

If she keeps insisting that she needs help, say, "Hey, I can't do it, but it sounds like you''re really excited about it. If you're looking for help with XYZ, I know of a good programmer/writer/whatever who has really reasonable rates, only $150 an hour... Want me to have them call you? Do you want their number? Usually, when people are confronted with the idea that they must pay for such things, they're no longer interested.

Good luck with however you approach it!

 

[scratchdisk]

Ya, just keep deflecting it, she will eventually give up/lose interest.

 

[Jimbo]

Thanks for the advice guys! We're going over there today to see her family and she wants to have another talk about it all.

I think I'm just gonna offer some basic advice, but if she really keeps pushing for the website from the get go - I'll (again) politely tell her I can't do it/don't have the time and offer to put her in contact with some other programmers/web designers. Let you said ChickenHawk, that will quickly show how serious she is or not about the whole running a business thing.

 

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[EPerceptions]

When I am asked or referred for website development, I respond with "I don't build websites for others." It usually works.

My grown daughter however, I have to handle differently. Years ago I made my living from affiliate websites. I would build sites from datafeeds, promote them well, then let them ride for years with little to no input from me. She remembers that. She's now 23 and has no particular focus in life, but when she wishes/dreams about more money she will start asking questions about affiliate programs. Unfortunately her hope seems to be along the lines of "click this button and the money will start rolling in". I usually respond with basic answers followed by 'look up xyz in Google', or 'read these articles', or 'learn xyz'. In other words I try to give encouragement and a starting point but I leave the initiative to her. So far she hasn't done anything much but maybe someday. She does know I won't do it for her though. I have bills to pay

 

[Elizabeth Shi]

Ha! Dealing with 'possible' inlaws are really difficult. Draw the line. If you think there requests are unreasonable, it doesn't matter – there's nothing you can do that will make them happy anyway.

So long as you and your partner are both in a good, harmonious relationship, then it's ok.

Agree?

 

[Worldisyours]

you could also ignore her and your misses forever.

 

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[Jimbo]

Well I ended up going over and speaking to her about some of her options. Suggested a number of different possibilities for just getting started. All I got in response was pretty much "but what if this ends up huge!? Wouldn't you regret not being part of it?".

It's been over a month since I spoke to her and she hasn't done anything yet...

 

[Tony Nguyen]

I would straight up just tell them I'm not interested so it wouldn't seem as I'm leading her on nor wasting both people's time, after giving all of that advice and no action what's the point? it's best to be honest in business and family as it shows what kind of person you are. I'm sure your partner and her mother would understand and love you unconditionally like family, I'm sure they would understand that you tried to motivate them into taking action themselves and giving them advice and greatly appreciate it.