Anxiety about "success"

[joel.nilsson]

I'm currently about to turn 18 in 2 months. I dropped out of HS. Landed a job where I make the 2.5x the average age for everyone under 21.
And I am super anxious about being behind. I have anxiety about not having started a business yet, that I may not be financially free by the time I'm 19, and just that I haven't gotten further in life. I know it sounds silly but that's how I feel and I am deeply ashamed.

I'd like to do my military service for 6 months this summer, I think that I really need it for TONS of reasons, I know that it will benefit me for the rest of my life, but I can't stop thinking about how 6 months of my life that could've gone to reaching my financial goals went to not earing any money at all. Or career progression, those 6 months could go towards me being promoted and doubling my salary.

I needed to get this off my chest, is this normal/someone who feels the same?

Is it good that I feel this way? If I didn't feel like this, I maybe wouldn't be "me", and never achieve my goals.

 

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[mikecarlooch]

Hey joel, I'm 19 my story may resonate with you.. + some gem advice from @fastlane_dad in the comments

MINDSET - A "Do What You Love" DISASTER (Story)

A "Do What You Love" Disaster This thread is for young people like myself, who grew up in the digital age. Those of us that are young, in our teens or early 20's have grown up in an era where hustle porn is constantly blared in our faces. "Do What You Love!" They say.. Constantly. We consume...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

[Kevin88660]

I'm currently about to turn 18 in 2 months. I dropped out of HS. Landed a job where I make the 2.5x the average age for everyone under 21.
And I am super anxious about being behind. I have anxiety about not having started a business yet, that I may not be financially free by the time I'm 19, and just that I haven't gotten further in life. I know it sounds silly but that's how I feel and I am deeply ashamed.

I'd like to do my military service for 6 months this summer, I think that I really need it for TONS of reasons, I know that it will benefit me for the rest of my life, but I can't stop thinking about how 6 months of my life that could've gone to reaching my financial goals went to not earing any money at all. Or career progression, those 6 months could go towards me being promoted and doubling my salary.

I needed to get this off my chest, is this normal/someone who feels the same?

Is it good that I feel this way? If I didn't feel like this, I maybe wouldn't be "me", and never achieve my goals.

In general I highly recommend military experience as part of life journey but I have to caution it if you are in Europe, you don’t want to be dragged to the frontline considering how the event is unfolding.

if you are going after the non-monetary aspects, regimentation and discipline for instance there are other uniform groups that are not military that you can consider.

 

[Albert KOUADJA]

mais je dois le mettre en garde si vous êtes en Europe, vous ne voulez pas être traîné en première ligne compte tenu du déroulement de l'événement.

Dieu merci, j'ai tout fait p
Vraiment hein c'est le plus grave dans tout ça. Vous seriez manipulé et feriez des choses que vous n'aimez pas.




Really huh it's the most serious thing in all of this. You would be manipulated and do things you don't like.





Currently my fellow students who joined the army in 2020 and 2021 are currently on the ground against Islamist terrorists in our National Park (Pendjari). this conflict started about a year ago. and it's the dead that we transport with a helicopter every day over the country.





last year 2021 they recruited twice from the army (police and army) and this year twice as well. which shows that the government needs people to send them to the field. the government never does anything for free, whether it's a much better paid position or a job, the government always wins out in the end.





Thank God, I did everything to resist my comrades and refuse to apply for these competitions. my values don't go hand in hand with working for someone else.even if currently, I do it it is due to certain constraints. but i don't want to quit my shitty job for a moment and come back to ask forgiveness so that they take me back.it's true that it drains my energy and kills my ego but i'm not ready to let go yet . when he (thework) bores me, that's where I remember that stuff to finish (my stuff).).

 

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[Matt Lee]

I needed to get this off my chest, is this normal/someone who feels the same?

Feel you man. I'm a college drop out, just turned 21 recently. I felt sorry for myself for quite a bit then I had to smack myself and said this is a waste of time. My old friends are graduating this year and will have cushion jobs, tons of security, comfort, and probably a nice girl to talk to. They'll have their degree to brag about.

On the other hand, I have nothing but a bunch of half dabbled ventures and a fire under my a$$. On the outside, I have nothing going for me. All I have are my dreams, the business I'm building, and my routine of training my body and mind. I sound like a lunatic half the time to people when I voice what I want to build so I just smile.

Do I lose faith in myself though? Used to. But not anymore. It's a waste of time. It kills momentum. I see everything and everyone that try to dissuade, make me feel bad, or dent my confident as a series of test to see if I truly have what it takes to make it. Will I allow them to break my momentum? I laugh. It raises your self esteem every time you respond with I don't care when someone try to tell you you are impractical, delusional, or audacious.

Deep down, you know you are right and these clowns are well... trying to convert you into a clown.

I won't lie to you, it does get lonely sometimes. It's just you and your journal and work(and thank God this forum). These are the time you have to do something cool and adventurous. Talk to a nice girl on the street. Smile at the coffee shop barista. Go on a date. Walk by the lake. Go out for a run in the rain. Treat yourself to some warm showers. Remind yourself what you're doing this for.

When I think of failures, I think of old people who did nothing with their lives other than live comfortably and waiting for their retirement days. Like cattles. I forget to mention, these people are filled with unrealized visions and regrets. They have big dreams, but their dreams were successfully bribed with a paycheck and security. Not to mention other methods of subversion(porn,junk food, social media, etc). It eats my soul talking to these sad folks every time.

Behind their smile are dead eyes. I feel bad for them. I don't ever end up as them.

It takes balls to say F*ck you, I'm not doing what the rest are doing and I'm going to do it my way.

Am I scared? Of course. Who isn't scared of one day waking and realizing you wasted your whole god damn life. I'd be lying to you if I'm not scared half the time, but it doesn't mean I won't put on a damn big grin and act like I know every step is going to make sense. I know failures only come if I listen to others so I'm assured most of the time. Fear is natural, you can't suppress it.

In reality, hindsight is 20/20. Everything will make sense if you just don't doubt yourself or let your confident be chipped.

Final note: Tell yourself you are the shit. Tell yourself you cannot make any mistake. Tell yourself that you are the coolest, most confident, and hottest person on the planet. Now, replace tell with believe in.

 

[Johnny boy]

The feeling of focused discontentment is one of the most powerful emotions for a man and serves as the base of all self improvement.

Spend time alone, put it into words, make lists, etc.

When you are 18 you are in a special spot, you have energy, discontentment, hormones, no attachments, and zero expectations of comfort.

I used to be filled with anger and obsessed over thinking of how my life needed to change. It would be the sole focus of every free second I had to think and reflect.

Life works on a delay. When you make a change it takes a bit for it to reflect the change and it eventually catches up.

The hard work and focus I put in didn't show results so it made me angrier and I said "fine, I'll try twice as hard" and it still didn't show results so the process continued, I didn't understand the delay and it was a good thing but it drove me crazy.

The way you feel right now is a gift and it is a clear sign that you need to do something. Remember that if you let mediocre thoughts creep in, this feeling will dissipate and you will settle in at whichever level it goes away at. That is very important to remember. If you constantly realize that you were meant for more and your current position is inadequate, you will make progress. Being meant for more is simply believing you are...What other way would people be meant for more? Their bloodline? Their IQ? Many have built themselves into great men despite being gifted neither of those things. You are meant for whatever you decide you are meant for, and then it just comes down to execution.

Nearly all people aim much too low so the vast majority of your focus should be on being LESS like most people. They think too small, aim too low, settle too soon, ignore health, etc. Be the opposite. Think bigger than what feels acceptable, aim way too high, don't settle, etc.

Resist the mental traps all of the other worker bees fall into. Your gut already knows everything and it is now just a question of if you have the resiliency in your mind to follow your gut. I have followed my gut and after seeing how good it works I will never entertain any other way of thinking. I have seen the fruit it bears.

Trust me, an unstoppable attitude of self-belief and focus will pay more dividends than anything else in this world.

To this day I look back and thank my young self for having the wisdom to not listen to anyone else and to follow my own path. I look in the mirror and know I am not living anyone else's life, I am living my own.

You have NOT accomplished anything and should feel the incredibly powerful emotion of discontentment until you accomplish some goals. This is a good thing and you should double, triple, and quadruple down on it 1000%. Shove all the chips into the pot and go out and kill it.

 

[joel.nilsson]

Feel you man. I'm a college drop out, just turned 21 recently. I felt sorry for myself for quite a bit then I had to smack myself and said this is a waste of time. My old friends are graduating this year and will have cushion jobs, tons of security, comfort, and probably a nice girl to talk to. They'll have their degree to brag about.

On the other hand, I have nothing but a bunch of half dabbled ventures and a fire under my a$$. On the outside, I have nothing going for me. All I have are my dreams, the business I'm building, and my routine of training my body and mind. I sound like a lunatic half the time to people when I voice what I want to build so I just smile.

Do I lose faith in myself though? Used to. But not anymore. It's a waste of time. It kills momentum. I see everything and everyone that try to dissuade, make me feel bad, or dent my confident as a series of test to see if I truly have what it takes to make it. Will I allow them to break my momentum? I laugh. It raises your self esteem every time you respond with I don't care when someone try to tell you you are impractical, delusional, or audacious.

Deep down, you know you are right and these clowns are well... trying to convert you into a clown.

I won't lie to you, it does get lonely sometimes. It's just you and your journal and work(and thank God this forum). These are the time you have to do something cool and adventurous. Talk to a nice girl on the street. Smile at the coffee shop barista. Go on a date. Walk by the lake. Go out for a run in the rain. Treat yourself to some warm showers. Remind yourself what you're doing this for.

When I think of failures, I think of old people who did nothing with their lives other than live comfortably and waiting for their retirement days. Like cattles. I forget to mention, these people are filled with unrealized visions and regrets. They have big dreams, but their dreams were successfully bribed with a paycheck and security. Not to mention other methods of subversion(porn,junk food, social media, etc). It eats my soul talking to these sad folks every time.

Behind their smile are dead eyes. I feel bad for them. I don't ever end up as them.

It takes balls to say F*ck you, I'm not doing what the rest are doing and I'm going to do it my way.

Am I scared? Of course. Who isn't scared of one day waking and realizing you wasted your whole god damn life. I'd be lying to you if I'm not scared half the time, but it doesn't mean I won't put on a damn big grin and act like I know every step is going to make sense. I know failures only come if I listen to others so I'm assured most of the time. Fear is natural, you can't suppress it.

In reality, hindsight is 20/20. Everything will make sense if you just don't doubt yourself or let your confident be chipped.

Final note: Tell yourself you are the shit. Tell yourself you cannot make any mistake. Tell yourself that you are the coolest, most confident, and hottest person on the planet. Now, replace tell with believe in.

I really needed all of this, thank you.

 

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[joel.nilsson]

The feeling of focused discontentment is one of the most powerful emotions for a man and serves as the base of all self improvement.

Spend time alone, put it into words, make lists, etc.

When you are 18 you are in a special spot, you have energy, discontentment, hormones, no attachments, and zero expectations of comfort.

I used to be filled with anger and obsessed over thinking of how my life needed to change. It would be the sole focus of every free second I had to think and reflect.

Life works on a delay. When you make a change it takes a bit for it to reflect the change and it eventually catches up.

The hard work and focus I put in didn't show results so it made me angrier and I said "fine, I'll try twice as hard" and it still didn't show results so the process continued, I didn't understand the delay and it was a good thing but it drove me crazy.

The way you feel right now is a gift and it is a clear sign that you need to do something. Remember that if you let mediocre thoughts creep in, this feeling will dissipate and you will settle in at whichever level it goes away at. That is very important to remember. If you constantly realize that you were meant for more and your current position is inadequate, you will make progress. Being meant for more is simply believing you are...What other way would people be meant for more? Their bloodline? Their IQ? Many have built themselves into great men despite being gifted neither of those things. You are meant for whatever you decide you are meant for, and then it just comes down to execution.

Nearly all people aim much too low so the vast majority of your focus should be on being LESS like most people. They think too small, aim too low, settle too soon, ignore health, etc. Be the opposite. Think bigger than what feels acceptable, aim way too high, don't settle, etc.

Resist the mental traps all of the other worker bees fall into. Your gut already knows everything and it is now just a question of if you have the resiliency in your mind to follow your gut. I have followed my gut and after seeing how good it works I will never entertain any other way of thinking. I have seen the fruit it bears.

Trust me, an unstoppable attitude of self-belief and focus will pay more dividends than anything else in this world.

To this day I look back and thank my young self for having the wisdom to not listen to anyone else and to follow my own path. I look in the mirror and know I am not living anyone else's life, I am living my own.

You have NOT accomplished anything and should feel the incredibly powerful emotion of discontentment until you accomplish some goals. This is a good thing and you should double, triple, and quadruple down on it 1000%. Shove all the chips into the pot and go out and kill it.

I want to be able to write this good to show you how much I appreciate your reply. But I'm not too good at writing long texts... So thanks, I really appreciate this.

Sometimes I feel like an enormous dick for doing literally the opposite of what everyone tells me to do. I know that the advice is good and that it's the right advice for MOST people. But not for me.

My entire family thinks that I think that I am ignorant and arrogant for not agreeing with them. But I have to endure it till I can prove that I did the right things for me.

Anyways, thanks a lot!

 

[Albert KOUADJA]

I want to be able to write this good to show you how much I appreciate your reply. But I'm not too good at writing long texts... So thanks, I really appreciate this.

Sometimes I feel like an enormous dick for doing literally the opposite of what everyone tells me to do. I know that the advice is good and that it's the right advice for MOST people. But not for me.

My entire family thinks that I think that I am ignorant and arrogant for not agreeing with them. But I have to endure it till I can prove that I did the right things for me.

Anyways, thanks a lot!

I also really enjoyed this post.but sometimes i had to write badly from long text to bring value in my replies to other people's posts because it take me time to make my post very cohesive.( i have so much knowledge here to take here but so little time)

Thanks very mmuch @Johnny boy for your reply.


I also know that the most thanks you expect from me is to put some things on the market, but I can reassure you that I am there. ''The first step''

 

[RedCloud]

You've got the drive but are putting pressure on yourself for no benefit. It's good to put pressure on yourself as it makes you reach your goals at the time you said you would reach them. But when it starts to give you anxiety you are doing something wrong.

I suggest improving your mental health. Then everything else will become far easier.

First, start meditating. It sounds weird at first but it is a very effective way to have more control over your emotions and thoughts. It is extremely helpful at controlling anxiety.

Second, you could start gratitude journaling. Just write down or type down 5-10 things that you are grateful for. Where you write it doesn't really matter, it's more the thought that counts.

Third, write down your goals. I believe you are anxious because you are expecting yourself to achieve greatness except you have no idea where that greatness is. And if you don't know where it is, how are you supposed to get there? So, write down what you want to achieve. Try and be specific. Add numbers and a deadline to them. For example, I want to make $1,000 per month in the next 3 months.

A person that has helped me a lot is a guy online called Hamza. He uploads self improvement content for people just like you. And although this guy did help me a lot, I myself was the person that was the most helpful.

Hope that helps.

 

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