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When am I ready to move out of my parents house?

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bibbysoka

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Jul 5, 2019
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Hey guys, I graduated in December 2019 and I’ve been living with my parents ever since. I’ve been working part time and I’ve saved a few thousand dollars but I’m not sure when I’m ready to move out, seems like wherever I move out it’s gonna cost at least 1000 a month for a one bedroom. It seems like it’s not worth it but at the same time getting super sick of living with my parents - i’m blessed to be able to live here rent free but at the same time I’m ready for some freedom and my own place. I’m trying to find a job relevant to my IT degree like helpdesk or something similar but ive been struggling badly so I work as a cashier making $13 an hour. Basically I’m not sure when to move out or how I can do it without spending all my money in two months on rent and furniture. If anyone has advice for me I’d greatly appreciate.
 

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sparechange

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Hey guys, I graduated in December 2019 and I’ve been living with my parents ever since. I’ve been working part time and I’ve saved a few thousand dollars but I’m not sure when I’m ready to move out, seems like wherever I move out it’s gonna cost at least 1000 a month for a one bedroom. It seems like it’s not worth it but at the same time getting super sick of living with my parents - i’m blessed to be able to live here rent free but at the same time I’m ready for some freedom and my own place. I’m trying to find a job relevant to my IT degree like helpdesk or something similar but ive been struggling badly so I work as a cashier making $13 an hour. Basically I’m not sure when to move out or how I can do it without spending all my money in two months on rent and furniture. If anyone has advice for me I’d greatly appreciate.
Ah welcome to the joys of life, paying rent and feeding yourself.

What you need to do is suck it up buttercup and focus on building a business. Then when you start generating 3-4 figures a month you can flirt the idea of moving out, use it as your motivation to work long and hard on something, keep the cashier job and save as much money as you can and invest a small portion of it into creating a business, contrary to popular belief, you don't need alot of money to start something.

Sure there will be a few small things like inventory, maybe a small marketing budget or whatever pops up, but you shouldn't really be investing anything more than a few hundred bucks or at most a grand or two. Take advantage of your situation and capitalize on it, fully invest your mental energy into creating something of value to society, and in return society will pay you back. Make sure you don't chase money as that is the fall of every new entrepreneur, refer to MJ's quote about attracting cats with tuna.

Whether you are going into a service based industry (barely any startup capital needed) or product based (slightly more capital intensive) Make sure it is something you can stand behind and believe in & works or is great. There is a lot of gaps in most markets you can fill.

Don't make it to complicated, pick something, anything really and execute on it. There are people out there in the world that make millions of dollars a day, there's no reason you can't do the same, only if you put in the work and execute with a good plan that reality can be yours as well.
 
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bibbysoka

bibbysoka

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Jul 5, 2019
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Ah welcome to the joys of life, paying rent and feeding yourself.

What you need to do is suck it up buttercup and focus on building a business. Then when you start generating 3-4 figures a month you can flirt the idea of moving out, use it as your motivation to work long and hard on something, keep the cashier job and save as much money as you can and invest a small portion of it into creating a business, contrary to popular belief, you don't need alot of money to start something.

Sure there will be a few small things like inventory, maybe a small marketing budget or whatever pops up, but you shouldn't really be investing anything more than a few hundred bucks or at most a grand or two. Take advantage of your situation and capitalize on it, fully invest your mental energy into creating something of value to society, and in return society will pay you back. Make sure you don't chase money as that is the fall of every new entrepreneur, refer to MJ's quote about attracting cats with tuna.

Whether you are going into a service based industry (barely any startup capital needed) or product based (slightly more capital intensive) Make sure it is something you can stand behind and believe in & works or is great. There is a lot of gaps in most markets you can fill.

Don't make it to complicated, pick something, anything really and execute on it. There are people out there in the world that make millions of dollars a day, there's no reason you can't do the same, only if you put in the work and execute with a good plan that reality can be yours as well.
I appreciate your advice. I tried freelance web designing for years and haven’t been able to consistently get sales or work. My next idea is to try carpet cleaning. I was thinking of buying a machine and vacuum and trying to get jobs near me but like you said I’m not sure if its worth the risk.
 

kelvinfernandezm

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I appreciate your advice. I tried freelance web designing for years and haven’t been able to consistently get sales or work. My next idea is to try carpet cleaning. I was thinking of buying a machine and vacuum and trying to get jobs near me but like you said I’m not sure if its worth the risk.
I say stay and save money for a house. I moved out of my parents house 3 years ago and now im moving back because I lost my job due to corona. Just like you I was eager to move out, now I'm looking forward to moving back in. I have enough money to buy a house this year, in fact I was in the process of buying one but I don't trust the economy anymore.

Save money to buy a duplex. It should be around $15k for the down payment. Ask your parents to be co signers. Buy and than rent the other half. That way you don't have to worry about paying rent.
 

johncharles46

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Hey guys, I graduated in December 2019 and I’ve been living with my parents ever since. I’ve been working part time and I’ve saved a few thousand dollars but I’m not sure when I’m ready to move out, seems like wherever I move out it’s gonna cost at least 1000 a month for a one bedroom. It seems like it’s not worth it but at the same time getting super sick of living with my parents - i’m blessed to be able to live here rent free but at the same time I’m ready for some freedom and my own place. I’m trying to find a job relevant to my IT degree like helpdesk or something similar but ive been struggling badly so I work as a cashier making $13 an hour. Basically I’m not sure when to move out or how I can do it without spending all my money in two months on rent and furniture. If anyone has advice for me I’d greatly appreciate.
When you can afford it.
 

sparechange

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I appreciate your advice. I tried freelance web designing for years and haven’t been able to consistently get sales or work. My next idea is to try carpet cleaning. I was thinking of buying a machine and vacuum and trying to get jobs near me but like you said I’m not sure if its worth the risk.
This is a perfect idea! I'll give you a little trick I did in the past, my first ''real'' venture I pursued was landscaping. I went door to door in my area and pitched lawn care service, here's the best part, I did not own a lawnmower!

On my first door I think I got my first $20 sale, the next day after I went out and bought a lawnmower and did my first job.

I finally cracked the trade code of earning a sale. You can do the same thing as me, go out there and hand out flyers (I used to tape them to the door) or door to door knocking always works, try to get a few customers to make it worth buying a vacuum (maybe a couple hundred bucks?) So $20 x 10 customers would pay off the machine. Great! Can you get 10 customers in a single day?

  1. Go out and get your first customer
  2. Repeat that process
  3. Boom you now have a business, sounds easy right?
How many customers would you need to earn that $1,000 bedroom? Now I don't know how much you would charge for cleaning a carpet, but let's assume $100 per house. Can you get another 10 customers for $100 every month? Now lets say you are doing 100 homes per month that's a $10,000 per month business! How many houses are in your neighborhood? You are now clearing what most people make in a single year throughout the world at a normal 9-5 job, and here's the kicker, you can have employees do the labor for you, so your time is completely disconnected from earning money.

Doesn't it seem so simple? Yes, but here's the kicker, it is alot of work that you need to do which is all part of the process that is always talked about here. There's a great quote that goes,

Entrepreneurs are the only people in the world that will work 100 hours a week to avoid working 40 for someone else.

So after all that ranting I'd like to propose to you a question,

How can you make your first dollar by this weekend?

Treat it like a game, a conquest to be achieved, and the game is your freedom, but never be greedy or focus on money, the magic key is providing value.
 

ZCP

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@bibbysoka what would it look like if you began to give yourself some credit? if you began to say 'when you move out'? if you began to see the graduate that is finding a job they love and work to help them achieve their goals? if you changed the word 'struggling' for 'succeeding'? ........

have some damn confidence in your a$$ kicking awesomeness! get your a$$ up, use these incredible opportunities in front of you to achieve. make people proud. more importantly, make yourself proud!

find a post it note. write these words on it and put it on the mirror you see each morning and each evening........

@bibbysoka is in control
@bibbysoka is an achiever
what do achievers do?
achieve
 

MJ DeMarco

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I wouldn't worry about it too much. As long as you know where you are going, the situation is temporary. The problem becomes serious when it becomes a state of existence, something you accept as permanent.

Keep grinding your masterplan and you'll get out. Just be careful of taking a job that doesn't advance your long term vision, but gets you out of the house into the rat-race.

There's no shame in living with your parents if you're busting your balls, actively failing (and learning) and stockpiling experience. There is only shame if you live with your parents and play video games all day.

Good luck and welcome.
 

alexkuzmov

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Hey guys, I graduated in December 2019 and I’ve been living with my parents ever since. I’ve been working part time and I’ve saved a few thousand dollars but I’m not sure when I’m ready to move out, seems like wherever I move out it’s gonna cost at least 1000 a month for a one bedroom. It seems like it’s not worth it but at the same time getting super sick of living with my parents - i’m blessed to be able to live here rent free but at the same time I’m ready for some freedom and my own place. I’m trying to find a job relevant to my IT degree like helpdesk or something similar but ive been struggling badly so I work as a cashier making $13 an hour. Basically I’m not sure when to move out or how I can do it without spending all my money in two months on rent and furniture. If anyone has advice for me I’d greatly appreciate.
I wouldn't say you've been struggling badly.
Not seeing any struggle in your post.
Hell there was a time when I ate only bread, ketchup and customer leftovers for about 2 weeks because it was the only thing free in the restaurant I was working as a bartender.
Evan that is not "badly struggling".
Sounds like you have a mindset problem plus lack of confidence.
Obviously we cant make your decisions for you and more importantly we wont live with the consequences.
IMO you should move out today if you can and sounds like you can.
Dump the "Im not sures" and "But what ifs".
You cant be this timid and risk averse if you want to find joy in life.
Also stop living in the future, are you homeless now? Are you hungry now? Is something bad happening to you now? No.
The future doesnt exist outside of your mind.
 

ZF Lee

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I wouldn't worry about it too much. As long as you know where you are going, the situation is temporary. The problem becomes serious when it becomes a state of existence, something you accept as permanent.

Keep grinding your masterplan and you'll get out. Just be careful of taking a job that doesn't advance your long term vision, but gets you out of the house into the rat-race.

There's no shame in living with your parents if you're busting your balls, actively failing (and learning) and stockpiling experience. There is only shame if you live with your parents and play video games all day.

Good luck and welcome.
I just want to add...

If you are staying home to 'cut costs', but aren't respecting house rules and the parents, that's just a no-no, no matter how much you claim to be working on business.

Get some chores done, and help out with bills or anything the parents need.
Even if it's as simple as having dinner together.

I'm having a sibling now who's so-called working on dropshipping (no matter how many times I've hinted on its flaws), and it's toxic to try to stop arguments between him and the parents on even simple stuff like waking and sleeping on regular hours.

And after FIVE WEEKS, he still hasn't even earned a penny of sales, while I just sent out an invoice for a thousand-bucks' worth of copy services to a client today And I still don't have a website of my own. All on email, WhatsApp and Wave.

Why start a F*cking business, when you can't even keep the peace in your family?
This is not even whether they are Fastlane or Slowlane. Just about love and respect.

My sibling's going back to his college accoms soon, but on shitty terms with the parents?
Just F*ck that.

A lot of the emotional toil has carried over to me, as I try to act as some sort of peace-keeper, but who else can keep the family together? Very heart-breaking for me.

P.S. : This could be the starter of a huge rant thread...
 

Cyberthal

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I'd argue that barring exceptional circumstances one should pursue a mixture of employment and entrepreneurship. The two are synergistic, because employment done right is being paid to learn and gain relevant market exposure, which entrepreneurs need. Otherwise one can inadvertently mooch while engaging in wantrepreneurship. Real money keeps one grounded in reality.

Thanks to the Internet, labor barriers to entry are low enough that anyone capable of running a business is also capable of online part-time employment, however named -- gig, freelance, temp, contract, whatever.

I suppose the best time split is 50/50 until entrepreneurship starts earning 80% of employment. And successful businessmen may still like to sell their time as e.g. consultants, mentors, etc.
 

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bibbysoka

bibbysoka

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I just want to add...

If you are staying home to 'cut costs', but aren't respecting house rules and the parents, that's just a no-no, no matter how much you claim to be working on business.

Get some chores done, and help out with bills or anything the parents need.
Even if it's as simple as having dinner together.

I'm having a sibling now who's so-called working on dropshipping (no matter how many times I've hinted on its flaws), and it's toxic to try to stop arguments between him and the parents on even simple stuff like waking and sleeping on regular hours.

And after FIVE WEEKS, he still hasn't even earned a penny of sales, while I just sent out an invoice for a thousand-bucks' worth of copy services to a client today And I still don't have a website of my own. All on email, WhatsApp and Wave.

Why start a F*cking business, when you can't even keep the peace in your family?
This is not even whether they are Fastlane or Slowlane. Just about love and respect.

My sibling's going back to his college accoms soon, but on shitty terms with the parents?
Just F*ck that.

A lot of the emotional toil has carried over to me, as I try to act as some sort of peace-keeper, but who else can keep the family together? Very heart-breaking for me.

P.S. : This could be the starter of a huge rant thread...
I have a great relationship with my family. I want to move out for other reasons - having my own freedom and own place just feel so much better on a daily basis. More privacy and more freedom. I'm grateful and blessed to be able to live at home rent free.
 

Odysseus M Jones

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However, my family is foreign and their control is getting annoying. Having a girlfriend has to be secret, and they're pretty controlling about when I leave the house.
If you want to move out for the reasons I think you want to move out, I have one word for you: motels.
Stay at home it's a five star hotel in comparison to fending for yourself, just go out for burgers.
If I had to do it again I'd not move out.
Freedom is overrated, as is cooking, cleaning & laundry.
Unless your burger is domesticated.
But don't ever turn your freedom into a 24 hour fast food joint.
Keep it takeaway only & never let the burger leave pickles in the bathroom cabinet.
 

William Steele

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There's been some good advice so far on this topic, I'll try to sum it up.

Don't move out.

Figure out what business you want to work on for the next 10 years. Sounds like you don't have a clue and are trying different things, which is good. But figure it out.

Once you do, start and work on it every day.

Being able to live with your parents is a massive advantage. Don't listen to society. 99% of them are broke and dumb. There's nothing wrong with living at home.

You want to be so focused on work that "moving somewhere" never even registers in your mind.

Good luck.
 

James Klymus

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This is an interesting topic because you are getting 2 opposite answers, both with good, logical reasons. That's why I suspect it's hard for you to make the decision, because there's good arguments for both.

I'm in a similar boat as you, I live with my family right now too. I also pay rent, buy my own food, clean up after my self, and am an overall responsible tenant of my family's home. I could afford to move out also, But i save a few hundred a month by living with them.

I get a long with my family, and I'm assuming you do too, and that's good because a lot of people don't get along with their family. There will always be little annoyances, like your parents parenting you still. No matter how old you are, they'll always be parenting you, but hey at least they care about you.

And there are uncomfortable moments sometimes, like when they bring up that I should get a more comfortable job with benefits and blah blah blah.

I think MJ made a good point, as long as you're not a deadbeat without an income not doing anything in life, then you shouldn't have to feel bad for living at home.

Overall, I think the temporary minuscule discomfort now, is worth the potential upside in the future. It's a lot better than having to worry about covering rent every month. It's not real life, in real life you have to either pay rent, mortgage a home or pay for it in cash. But it's a good opportunity to take a lot of risk, because you're pretty much living your worst case scenario already, and that's not even that bad to be honest.

Just make sure you're working on your future and keeping your self accountable, because if you fall in a rut and look up and you're 30 in the same position, you've just wasted a lot of time.
 

PureA

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I'm going to go against the grain and say moving out should be prioritised even when it doesn't make complete financial sense.

There is something that happens to a man when he goes out on his own. You will level up, and you will make it work. It's a completely different energy to when you have the safety net of your family.

Sure, living at home stacking cash makes sense on paper, but having been through this personally a few years ago, I wish I would've taken the jump sooner (before I 'should have') my life is now 100x better.

Again, it's very subtle, and tough to describe, think of it as being as one of the final steps to fully graduating out of boyhood. This can't happen until you leave the nest. It's time to be the man.
 
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bibbysoka

bibbysoka

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I'm going to go against the grain and say moving out should be prioritised even when it doesn't make complete financial sense.

There is something that happens to a man when he goes out on his own. You will level up, and you will make it work. It's a completely different energy to when you have the safety net of your family.

Sure, living at home stacking cash makes sense on paper, but having been through this personally a few years ago, I wish I would've taken the jump sooner (before I 'should have') my life is now 100x better.

Again, it's very subtle, and tough to describe, think of it as being as one of the final steps to fully graduating out of boyhood. This can't happen until you leave the nest. It's time to be the man.
I feel that 100% man and I already sense that as soon as I move out I will feel much better. It feels like it will be a new chapter in my life.
 

Roli

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Hey guys, I graduated in December 2019 and I’ve been living with my parents ever since. I’ve been working part time and I’ve saved a few thousand dollars but I’m not sure when I’m ready to move out, seems like wherever I move out it’s gonna cost at least 1000 a month for a one bedroom. It seems like it’s not worth it but at the same time getting super sick of living with my parents - i’m blessed to be able to live here rent free but at the same time I’m ready for some freedom and my own place. I’m trying to find a job relevant to my IT degree like helpdesk or something similar but ive been struggling badly so I work as a cashier making $13 an hour. Basically I’m not sure when to move out or how I can do it without spending all my money in two months on rent and furniture. If anyone has advice for me I’d greatly appreciate.
You're ready when you don't have to ask anyone when you'll be ready.
 

MaxKhalus

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Anytime, really. You just need to have the confidence that you'll find a way, even though you may not know how right now.
 

Bruno Calisso

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Move out asap! Only when you are on your own you stop being lazy and become 100% accountable for your actions. You can't play around, there's too many risks, being on your own makes you a serious independent man. The sooner the better, you have to go soon or later, why delay it? I regret my delaying, trust me, you're delaying developing your autonomy.

I live in Portugal and when I reached my 18 years old and had to get a job my country (and europe) was in the middle of a huge financial crisis, I heavily suffered from depression and was starving (fuc*ed up family), there was no jobs, I had to learn how to compete without education and without experience, it was a very hard journey to survive and grow up, if I had not started to learn business and financial literacy by myself I would had never made it and would be a bum today, like lots of guys who live around here.

Nowdays I pay my moms bills and I managed to rebuild my future, but at a cost, living with my narcisistic mother so many years F*cked me up in several ways, I wish things were different when I was 18, or 20, but they are as they are.

Do you think I should wait until I become a successful entrepreneur or until the housing market smiles to me?

Never gonna happen. Don't leave your independence up to variables you can't control. The years pass and if you're not lucky you'll still live with your parents, I don't know if your family is cool, mine made my life miserable, you don't have privacy nor dignity.

Leaving is a decision, you are tired and decide to leave no matter what.

How do you do it? There's no way out, you have to save at least two years, period. You don't want to leave unprepared, so get yourself together. There's nothing worse than having to come back not wanting to.

Make it your best 2 years at home.
 

jmin

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Hey Bibby,

I'm sure you've heard enough advice to make a decision and feel confident in it.

So whilst I won't offer anything new, I will share my current situation, as it's somewhat similar.

I just finished at university, having lived away from home for 4 years. My independence is the most important thing to me, so being at home is incredibly difficult. However, my plan is to move to London (quite a lot more expensive than where I am now) and I currently have a really good job whereby I'm able to build relevant skills for my future.

Lacking in independence and having to live with family is the trade-off I'm having to make at the minute. However, I know it's only for a few years MAX. If that.

I am sure that you will be able to move out and live independently in the same time, of not less, than myself.

For me, the important thing to remember is 'I might as well enjoy it whilst I'm here.' For the most part, I'd LOVE to be out doing things for myself. However, I'm trying to pay attention to the things I am grateful for, as that's helping me to cross each day off the calendar without feeling like I'm sacrificing my current happiness.

Sometimes just talking about how we feel can be a great thing (I'm sure you feel better after posting this and reading through people's replies). That being said, feel free to hit me up whenever so we can both rant about our current situations and help each other to move forward

Good luck dude, and remember - perception is everything.


PS. You'll know when the time is right to move out. Whether it's a 'F*ck it' moment or something calculated. Check out @MJ DeMarco's story on starting out --> My Story – MJ DeMarco
 

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WJK

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Hey guys, I graduated in December 2019 and I’ve been living with my parents ever since. I’ve been working part time and I’ve saved a few thousand dollars but I’m not sure when I’m ready to move out, seems like wherever I move out it’s gonna cost at least 1000 a month for a one bedroom. It seems like it’s not worth it but at the same time getting super sick of living with my parents - i’m blessed to be able to live here rent free but at the same time I’m ready for some freedom and my own place. I’m trying to find a job relevant to my IT degree like helpdesk or something similar but ive been struggling badly so I work as a cashier making $13 an hour. Basically I’m not sure when to move out or how I can do it without spending all my money in two months on rent and furniture. If anyone has advice for me I’d greatly appreciate.
You are ONLY working parttime. What's wrong with using the rest of your hours to create more opportunities for yourself?
Furniture? There's a bunch of free furniture available all the time. Or cheap furniture at thrift stores. How much furniture do you really need? How about a blow-up mattress, topped off by a sleeping bag?
Housing? Do you really need a one-bedroom apartment? Read up on house hacking? You can do it too. Or become an on-site property manager or maintenance person for a multi-unit property -- those jobs normally include housing. Manage a self-storage facility -- that job comes with housing. Become a care-person for an elderly person where you are provided live-in housing. Do live-in child care -- you could tutor the kids. Be a caretaker for a property. Many have small living spaces included with the job. Get access to an RV and be a host for a campground for a summer. House sit for a traveler or in a vacation home. Manage an Airbnb property for a property owner. Rent a room. And this is the shortlist of ideas.
Get a grip, Man. Do something, even if you fail!
 

XxThelionxX

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This is a great thread!

Something I have been struggling with myself.

What's the urgency? And who are you trying to prove something to. For me my mother say's it's really no big deal. She actually doesn't want me to leave. And has said, "You'll have a home for life." That touches my heart deeply.

My sister say's i'm on the right track. She see's my post of facebook and loves it. I'm actively pursing martial arts.

We are doing alot better than we think. And we all are trying to do the best we can. There aren't as many millenial's that have lambo's as we think. Not as many successful young people as we think. It's just a social narrative.

:peace:Evolve, learn, grow. We will do just fine!
 

James Klymus

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Also if you're interested in real estate at all, or just want to live rent free and even make a bit of money, check out this thread:

 

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