Too Personal?

[fish417913]

This is my first non-intro, non-I've read the books, post.

Bottom Line Up Front: My childhood (birth to 18) was an absolute horror. I lived this dichotomy, where I grew up in small town farm country in the midwest, where everybody knew everybody (and their business), yet I, and my family, ostensibly lived a secret, hellish existence. In short, my father was very mentally ill, had some fairly bad brain damage, and was in a toxic marriage with my mother--combined they unleashed a state of hell in our house that exploded when I had barely become a teenager, and I saw and dealt with things that no kid should ever have to fathom. I had A LOT of traumatic stress (only realized that's what it was once I was an adult) as a result, and it really messed me up. Became suicidal a few times, caused a lot of social/emotional/relationship problems for me.

BUT, I overcame all that darkness and doing my best to make the best I can out of it. The thought came to me: my story is not only (in my opinion) fairly captivating, but also provides an example for the increasingly large number of young people today who think they are better off dead. I'm a veteran, I'm a former law enforcement officer, and I think my story may help out people across communities or categories, who are dealing with something similar.

My rough plan it this: start writing every day. Turn it into an e-book. Sell it on Gumroad, Amazon, and any other suitable sites. Since my parents are still alive, and I don't want to openly implicate my siblings or distant family, I'll write under a pseudonym and modify names and places.

Here is my question: Is this a viable plan? Certainly there is a financial component that I think may be solid, but I'm more excited about the prospect of helping other people by my story and example. Should I proceed with this? Or should I shelve this for a later time and focus on something more tanglible?

Thanks!

 

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[Champion]

Hey Fish,

May I ask what your current source of income is?

How much surplus cashflow does that source of income provide, above your living expenses, to pump into the business venture you want to pursue?

If you currently have no surplus cashflow of at least around 300-500 dollars a month, I would suggest that you find a way to make that sort of surplus income.

Once you do, start your business venture.

Now to your actual question: Is this idea about writing an e-book of your childhood story a good idea from a financial standpoint?

My short answer --> Well.. it depends.

Remember in MJ's book, how he talks about the concept of "Relative Value". Thats exactly what your story needs to have for your customers/audience in order to be successfull and to be sold for money. It needs to provide relative value, in comparison to whats already in the marketplace.

I would suggest the following:

1. Checkout if there are any similar books already in the market
2. If yes, are they any good? How many reviews do they have, if any? Are they sold on Amazon? Do you think those books are making any money for their authors?

Once you did that research, it will be much clearer to you what the next step could be. Feel free to report back here!

Best,
Champion

 

[MitchM]

First, I am sorry to hear about your upbringing but want to thank you for deciding to make a huge negative into a positive for others.

I agree with what Champion said, and think there’s also other ways you can build other than just books.

There are many online coaches, and while it may not be fast lane - someone in your posiition may be able to provide courses that help people heal and move past that trauma.

The question I would ask is:

What kind of support do you wish you had during your hardest moments?

Building a community and/or system that provides that could be a good route.

Of course I don’t know the details, but this is just surface level feedback.

 

[Strm]

I had A LOT of traumatic stress (only realized that's what it was once I was an adult) as a result, and it really messed me up. Became suicidal a few times, caused a lot of social/emotional/relationship problems for me.

Sorry to hear that - but thanks for sharing!

I can totally relate to that part, because of different reasons though (my mom was killed by a drunk-driver when I was 10 and my dad froze to death outside his house while being drunk when I was 11).
There's a void in my heart and it still hurts, even after more than 15 years. Had suicidal thoughts before also.

My suggestion would be to start writing every day, but first and foremost for yourself. Think about making it a book later and maybe (probably) you'll get new ideas along the way.
Maybe you should start and search for online communities etc, or make one if there isn't any right now.

 

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[Bertram]

This is my first non-intro, non-I've read the books, post.

Bottom Line Up Front: My childhood (birth to 18) was an absolute horror. I lived this dichotomy, where I grew up in small town farm country in the midwest, where everybody knew everybody (and their business), yet I, and my family, ostensibly lived a secret, hellish existence. In short, my father was very mentally ill, had some fairly bad brain damage, and was in a toxic marriage with my mother--combined they unleashed a state of hell in our house that exploded when I had barely become a teenager, and I saw and dealt with things that no kid should ever have to fathom. I had A LOT of traumatic stress (only realized that's what it was once I was an adult) as a result, and it really messed me up. Became suicidal a few times, caused a lot of social/emotional/relationship problems for me.

BUT, I overcame all that darkness and doing my best to make the best I can out of it. The thought came to me: my story is not only (in my opinion) fairly captivating, but also provides an example for the increasingly large number of young people today who think they are better off dead. I'm a veteran, I'm a former law enforcement officer, and I think my story may help out people across communities or categories, who are dealing with something similar.

My rough plan it this: start writing every day. Turn it into an e-book. Sell it on Gumroad, Amazon, and any other suitable sites. Since my parents are still alive, and I don't want to openly implicate my siblings or distant family, I'll write under a pseudonym and modify names and places.

Here is my question: Is this a viable plan? Certainly there is a financial component that I think may be solid, but I'm more excited about the prospect of helping other people by my story and example. Should I proceed with this? Or should I shelve this for a later time and focus on something more tanglible?

Thanks!

I'm sorry about what happened in your life.
You've won. You grew courage and valor.
I agree with others here, book profits would be lower than related products. The book could have marketing power for the other income streams.
The most common reason why people go into law enforcement is the motivation "to kill a monster." And every 56 hours, a law enforcement officer in the US commits suicide. So I think somewhere in this community and at this time you would surely fill an important need and find a specific audience. There are over a million working LEO's in the United States. You could develop a resiliency program for PD's and the family, take on the culture of "Cops Don't Cry," and address suicide prevention.
Then again, this book might just be a one-off for you so that you can get on with living and mostly never talk about or think about the past again.
This is up to you.
Here's something interesting, from the work of psychologist Jean Piaget: when families go through milestones, like weddings or births or deaths or moving apart, the whole web is shaken up a bit, and individuals either regress or evolve. This is a single nugget you could go to work on to develop a "family resiliency program" or suicide or alcohol prevention programs, and you could build on this wisdom because of you own personal experience and your police training and experience. I think this would compel you to look ahead, not behind, do a lot of good, and make a living at it. The book would be a marketing tool.

I wish you the best and hope to follow your progress here.

 

[broswoodwork]

View: https://youtu.be/TMHseTcZdJ4


Thanks for sharing, and it's awesome that you're over coming where you came from and want to use it to empower yourself and others. I'm sure that many of us here can identify with one element or another in your story.

 

[fish417913]

Hey Fish,

May I ask what your current source of income is?

How much surplus cashflow does that source of income provide, above your living expenses, to pump into the business venture you want to pursue?

If you currently have no surplus cashflow of at least around 300-500 dollars a month, I would suggest that you find a way to make that sort of surplus income.

Once you do, start your business venture.

Now to your actual question: Is this idea about writing an e-book of your childhood story a good idea from a financial standpoint?

My short answer --> Well.. it depends.

Remember in MJ's book, how he talks about the concept of "Relative Value". Thats exactly what your story needs to have for your customers/audience in order to be successfull and to be sold for money. It needs to provide relative value, in comparison to whats already in the marketplace.

I would suggest the following:

1. Checkout if there are any similar books already in the market
2. If yes, are they any good? How many reviews do they have, if any? Are they sold on Amazon? Do you think those books are making any money for their authors?

Once you did that research, it will be much clearer to you what the next step could be. Feel free to report back here!

Best,
Champion

Hi Champion,

I currently have two sources of income, though one is intermittent. In short, in my day job I am a data scientist for the US Government. By night (at least for the next 5 weeks), I'm an adjunct instructor teaching night school at a local community college.

So, I've got the surplus you mentioned, but frankly I'm, to paraphrase MJ, using my freedom fighters to wage a campaign against a shit load of debt I'm dealing with. That said, it's still doable (what you referenced above) financially, I just need to be confident that I'm doing the right thing for the right reasons.

You make great points reference researching comparable products and personalities in that space. It certainly needs to be a primary action step before anything else occurs.

I'll do my homework, and if it seems that I can provide value via a book, I'll report back on the process as it unfolds.

Thanks so much for the excellent advice!

v/r

Fish

 

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[Entre Eyes]

BUT, I overcame all that darkness and doing my best to make the best I can out of it. The thought came to me: my story is not only (in my opinion) fairly captivating, but also provides an example for the increasingly large number of young people today who think they are better off dead. I'm a veteran, I'm a former law enforcement officer, and I think my story may help out people across communities or categories, who are dealing with something similar.

Great to meet you.

It sounds more like a personal therapeutic project for you than a business one?

There are horror stories everywhere. Inner city. Multiple stories of Law enforcement committing executions inside peoples homes.

Apologies do not mean to be dark but you kinda took us there a bit.

But anyway again I hope as you plan you would be helping others but I can definitely see that it may be helping you to reflect, relate, and release.

People that are in deep depression contemplating suicide I am not sure how your book will turn that around but I do feel you have great intentions and it is certainly worth pursuing my friend.

 

[fish417913]

First, I am sorry to hear about your upbringing but want to thank you for deciding to make a huge negative into a positive for others.

I agree with what Champion said, and think there’s also other ways you can build other than just books.

There are many online coaches, and while it may not be fast lane - someone in your posiition may be able to provide courses that help people heal and move past that trauma.

The question I would ask is:

What kind of support do you wish you had during your hardest moments?

Building a community and/or system that provides that could be a good route.

Of course I don’t know the details, but this is just surface level feedback.

Mitch,

Thanks so much for the kind words. To answer your question, I wish I would have had someone that had situational awareness to pick up on my behavioral cues as a starter, but most importantly, I wish someone would have been able to step in and either stop what was going on or remove me from the home. That's a bold statement, but it would have been for the best.

I never considered the community or coaching aspect, but it certainly makes a lot of sense. I've come across a few people in life that have had worse or similar situations, and it was nice to know that I'm not alone. I guess my biggest thing is, I want people to break the cycle of these situations, and if they become parents, I want them to do for their kids what their situations didn't provide, such as a healthy and stable platform to grow and develop, among other things.

Thanks!

v/r

Fish

 

[fish417913]

Sorry to hear that - but thanks for sharing!

I can totally relate to that part, because of different reasons though (my mom was killed by a drunk-driver while I was 10 and my dad froze to death outside his house while being drunk when I was 11).
There's a void in my heart and it still hurts, even after more than 15 years. Had suicidal thoughts before also.

My suggestion would be to start writing every day, but first and foremost for yourself. Think about making it a book later and maybe (probably) you'll get new ideas along the way.
Maybe you should start and search for online communities etc, or make one if there isn't any right now.

Strm,

I'm very sorry to hear that--it's absolutely heartbreaking.

That's great advice, and I think even if I never "do anything" with it, I'll have something that will have perhaps allowed me to reflect and learn from.

I'll definitely research the online community aspect.

v/r

Fish

 

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[fish417913]

I'm sorry about what happened in your life.
You've won. You grew courage and valor.
I agree with others here, book profits would be lower than related products. The book could have marketing power for the other income streams.
The most common reason why people go into law enforcement is the motivation "to kill a monster." And every 56 hours, a law enforcement officer in the US commits suicide. So I think somewhere in this community and at this time you would surely fill an important need and find a specific audience. There are over a million working LEO's in the United States. You could develop a resiliency program for PD's and the family, take on the culture of "Cops Don't Cry," and address suicide prevention.
Then again, this book might just be a one-off for you so that you can get on with living and mostly never talk about or think about the past again.
This is up to you.
Here's something interesting, from the work of psychologist Jean Piaget: when families go through milestones, like weddings or births or deaths or moving apart, the whole web is shaken up a bit, and individuals either regress or evolve. This is a single nugget you could go to work on to develop a "family resiliency program" or suicide or alcohol prevention programs, and you could build on this wisdom because of you own personal experience and your police training and experience. I think this would compel you to look ahead, not behind, do a lot of good, and make a living at it. The book would be a marketing tool.

I wish you the best and hope to follow your progress here.

Hi Bertram,

That is an outstanding point! I never considered approaching it from that angle, but certainly makes a great deal of sense.

Frankly, where my heart and head are leaning is this: when I hit my stride and find the product or service(s) that allow me to hit the millionaire fastlane and I'm completely financially independent, I want to devote a great deal of my time and resources to helping victims of abuse and preventing the cycle from continuing. To make a long story short, my father and his 10 siblings were all severely abused by my grandfather, and all of them are severely messed up. For whatever reason, my grandfather preyed on my father the most. As an example (I'll spare the long story), he'd make my dad, who at the time was a 6 year old, fight the neighborhood bully every day, and my dad would get punched into unconsciousness by the bully. That's the kind of brutality I want to destroy, because the 2nd and 3rd order effects damn near destroyed me and my siblings.

v/r

Fish

 

[fish417913]

View: https://youtu.be/TMHseTcZdJ4


Thanks for sharing, and it's awesome that you're over coming where you came from and want to use it to empower yourself and others. I'm sure that many of us here can identify with one element or another in your story.

That scene is hilarious--gotta love Dr. Evil!

Thank you very much, I appreciate it.

 

[fish417913]

Great to meet you.

It sounds more like a personal therapeutic project for you than a business one?

There are horror stories everywhere. Inner city. Multiple stories of Law enforcement committing executions inside peoples homes.

Apologies do not mean to be dark but you kinda took us there a bit.

But anyway again I hope as you plan you would be helping others but I can definitely see that it may be helping you to reflect, relate, and release.

People that are in deep depression contemplating suicide I am not sure how your book will turn that around but I do feel you have great intentions and it is certainly worth pursuing my friend.

Thanks so much! You're right, the world is full of darkness and injustice. Nobody is going to fix that on their own. I think perhaps the therapeutic release of such a project and the prospect of being an example for others to overcome are some of the biggest motivators. Even if nothing comes of this, I certainly feel like I've identified an area where I'd like to make a significant contribution and provide value to as many as possible.

 

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[Bertram]

Hi Bertram,

That is an outstanding point! I never considered approaching it from that angle, but certainly makes a great deal of sense.

Frankly, where my heart and head are leaning is this: when I hit my stride and find the product or service(s) that allow me to hit the millionaire fastlane and I'm completely financially independent, I want to devote a great deal of my time and resources to helping victims of abuse and preventing the cycle from continuing. To make a long story short, my father and his 10 siblings were all severely abused by my grandfather, and all of them are severely messed up. For whatever reason, my grandfather preyed on my father the most. As an example (I'll spare the long story), he'd make my dad, who at the time was a 6 year old, fight the neighborhood bully every day, and my dad would get punched into unconsciousness by the bully. That's the kind of brutality I want to destroy, because the 2nd and 3rd order effects damn near destroyed me and my siblings.

v/r

Fish

I'm sorry to hear that this ugly event happened to your dad. And the bully.
Those boys never had a chance.
Did they live up in south Boston? It's a damn common event.

 

[Bekit]

The thought came to me: my story is not only (in my opinion) fairly captivating, but also provides an example for the increasingly large number of young people today who think they are better off dead.

A lot of people want to write a memoir. Fewer want to use it for good in the lives of others. I think you have a very strong potential to provide enormous value through this.

Think about how much David Goggins' book resonated with people. Can you write something of that caliber?

I lived this dichotomy, where I grew up in small town farm country in the midwest, where everybody knew everybody (and their business), yet I, and my family, ostensibly lived a secret, hellish existence.

That's crazy that your neighbors didn't know what was going on - right under their noses.

Here's one huge way that your book may be able to speak to the issue:

• Those small town farm country people probably had no clue this was going on right under their noses.
• A big part of the reason they didn't see it was probably because they probably couldn't fathom that kind of evil happening in the world. (My mom is kind of like this. She can't quite believe that anyone would be capable of the dark and twisted atrocities that are being committed in some families).
• Another part of the reason would be apathy. The neighbors say to themselves, "It's none of my business... I don't want to get involved... I'm not sure what's going on anyway... I don't have any solid proof" etc etc.

It brings up something that I've wondered about ever since the Turpin family case in California in 2018, where 13 siblings lived through unspeakable horrors, including malnutrition, being chained up to their beds, and being deprived education.

How did they keep it a secret all those years?

How did their neighbors not know?

How did this never get reported to the authorities?

How should "bystanders" and community members behave differently to protect children who are in situations like that?

When I heard about the Turpin case, I couldn't sleep at night just thinking about the pain those kids went through. Ever since, I've always wanted to keep a closer eye out for anything that looked weird, and be ready to speak up about it or bring it to the authorities.

But I've also been unsure of how to proceed if I ever did run into a case like this - or how to even see it or become aware of it in the first place when it's actively being kept a secret.

I'm sure you would have a lot of insight into this question. Maybe your book could explore ways that community members can be more proactive and helpful in a case where something like this is happening.

What do you wish your neighbors had done? How should they have intervened? What are the subtle signs that the community should pick up on to realize that some kids are living through hell? How can outsiders respond, especially when the parents aren't going to be helpful or cooperative? (The expectation of the parents' wrath brings a fair amount of fear and intimidation to the would-be good samaritan, and a lot of times can shut them down from acting.)

What would you say are some basic "dos" and "don'ts" for someone who is a caring outsider to take USEFUL action (not futile action) in a situation like this?

 

[zblundell]

What about a forum website that deals with adults and children battling depression, bullying, self-worth etc.? If there is not one, create one and generate ad revenue through your website. Takes hard work and effort but might be worth it in the end. Good luck!

 

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[fish417913]

I'm sorry to hear that this ugly event happened to your dad. And the bully.
Those boys never had a chance.
Did they live up in south Boston? It's a damn common event.

Thank you. It's certainly a sad thing to think about. No, not Boston. This was in California.

 

[fish417913]

A lot of people want to write a memoir. Fewer want to use it for good in the lives of others. I think you have a very strong potential to provide enormous value through this.

Think about how much David Goggins' book resonated with people. Can you write something of that caliber?


That's crazy that your neighbors didn't know what was going on - right under their noses.

Here's one huge way that your book may be able to speak to the issue:

• Those small town farm country people probably had no clue this was going on right under their noses.
• A big part of the reason they didn't see it was probably because they probably couldn't fathom that kind of evil happening in the world. (My mom is kind of like this. She can't quite believe that anyone would be capable of the dark and twisted atrocities that are being committed in some families).
• Another part of the reason would be apathy. The neighbors say to themselves, "It's none of my business... I don't want to get involved... I'm not sure what's going on anyway... I don't have any solid proof" etc etc.

It brings up something that I've wondered about ever since the Turpin family case in California in 2018, where 13 siblings lived through unspeakable horrors, including malnutrition, being chained up to their beds, and being deprived education.

How did they keep it a secret all those years?

How did their neighbors not know?

How did this never get reported to the authorities?

How should "bystanders" and community members behave differently to protect children who are in situations like that?

When I heard about the Turpin case, I couldn't sleep at night just thinking about the pain those kids went through. Ever since, I've always wanted to keep a closer eye out for anything that looked weird, and be ready to speak up about it or bring it to the authorities.

But I've also been unsure of how to proceed if I ever did run into a case like this - or how to even see it or become aware of it in the first place when it's actively being kept a secret.

I'm sure you would have a lot of insight into this question. Maybe your book could explore ways that community members can be more proactive and helpful in a case where something like this is happening.

What do you wish your neighbors had done? How should they have intervened? What are the subtle signs that the community should pick up on to realize that some kids are living through hell? How can outsiders respond, especially when the parents aren't going to be helpful or cooperative? (The expectation of the parents' wrath brings a fair amount of fear and intimidation to the would-be good samaritan, and a lot of times can shut them down from acting.)

What would you say are some basic "dos" and "don'ts" for someone who is a caring outsider to take USEFUL action (not futile action) in a situation like this?

Wow, thank you so much for the detailed feedback. I need to chew on the questions you raised and record some explicit answers. To say I wish someone would've helped is certainly too generic and not helpful.

I think as the layers get peeled back I'll be able to pinpoint an area or areas where I can leverage my experiences to help others.

Thanks again!

 

[fish417913]

What about a forum website that deals with adults and children battling depression, bullying, self-worth etc.? If there is not one, create one and generate ad revenue through your website. Takes hard work and effort but might be worth it in the end. Good luck!

That's an awesome idea! The more I ponder some sort of online presence, the better it seems as a form of leverage to help the greatest number of people.

Thanks so much for the feedback!

 

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[AgainstAllOdds]

This is my first non-intro, non-I've read the books, post.

Bottom Line Up Front: My childhood (birth to 18) was an absolute horror. I lived this dichotomy, where I grew up in small town farm country in the midwest, where everybody knew everybody (and their business), yet I, and my family, ostensibly lived a secret, hellish existence. In short, my father was very mentally ill, had some fairly bad brain damage, and was in a toxic marriage with my mother--combined they unleashed a state of hell in our house that exploded when I had barely become a teenager, and I saw and dealt with things that no kid should ever have to fathom. I had A LOT of traumatic stress (only realized that's what it was once I was an adult) as a result, and it really messed me up. Became suicidal a few times, caused a lot of social/emotional/relationship problems for me.

BUT, I overcame all that darkness and doing my best to make the best I can out of it. The thought came to me: my story is not only (in my opinion) fairly captivating, but also provides an example for the increasingly large number of young people today who think they are better off dead. I'm a veteran, I'm a former law enforcement officer, and I think my story may help out people across communities or categories, who are dealing with something similar.

My rough plan it this: start writing every day. Turn it into an e-book. Sell it on Gumroad, Amazon, and any other suitable sites. Since my parents are still alive, and I don't want to openly implicate my siblings or distant family, I'll write under a pseudonym and modify names and places.

Here is my question: Is this a viable plan? Certainly there is a financial component that I think may be solid, but I'm more excited about the prospect of helping other people by my story and example. Should I proceed with this? Or should I shelve this for a later time and focus on something more tanglible?

Thanks!

You are not your past. You are only your present and future self.

In my opinion, proceeding on this path is a bad plan. You're branding yourself to yourself subconsciously based on an upbringing that is negative towards your self image to yourself.

The question you need to ask is: Who do you want to become? And how do you become that person?

Once you define that, you can pick a road that will take you to that point. Using a tough upbringing to define the path that you're headed is stupid. Start with the end goal. Define who you will be. Once you know that, then determine whether or not leveraging your past is the right means to attaining your goal.

And sidenote: The idea of publishing a self-help book and using that to make money, is a bad plan overall. If it's to help people, then it's an ok plan, but if your goal is money, I'd bet 100-1 that you'll fall short.

 

[WJK]

I grew up hard too -- in a rural area -- with horrible secrets. Sorry that we share an unfortunate type of background. I too thought about writing a book, but I never did. I glad I never penned those words or tried to sue dad for damages. The life I've built is too precious and hard-won. He's gone and I'm still here -- happy and healthy. I think the suggestion about creating an online community that helps others sounds good to me. There's a lot of people out there that need a positive word to keep on going. Hopefully, we can be part of a group of people who are the light in the darkness. I personally try to be an example of how great hardship can build character and be used creatively. It sounds like you're on that page too. Best of luck to you and yours.

 

[fish417913]

You are not your past. You are only your present and future self.

In my opinion, proceeding on this path is a bad plan. You're branding yourself to yourself subconsciously based on an upbringing that is negative towards your self image to yourself.

The question you need to ask is: Who do you want to become? And how do you become that person?

Once you define that, you can pick a road that will take you to that point. Using a tough upbringing to define the path that you're headed is stupid. Start with the end goal. Define who you will be. Once you know that, then determine whether or not leveraging your past is the right means to attaining your goal.

And sidenote: The idea of publishing a self-help book and using that to make money, is a bad plan overall. If it's to help people, then it's an ok plan, but if your goal is money, I'd bet 100-1 that you'll fall short.

I appreciate your candor and insight on this. This is very helpful--thanks for the response!

 

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[fish417913]

I grew up hard too -- in a rural area -- with horrible secrets. Sorry that we share an unfortunate type of background. I too thought about writing a book, but I never did. I glad I never penned those words or tried to sue dad for damages. The life I've built is too precious and hard-won. He's gone and I'm still here -- happy and healthy. I think the suggestion about creating an online community that helps others sounds good to me. There's a lot of people out there that need a positive word to keep on going. Hopefully, we can be part of a group of people who are the light in the darkness. I personally try to be an example of how great hardship can build character and be used creatively. It sounds like you're on that page too. Best of luck to you and yours.

I'm sorry to hear that about your upbringing, it's not right to place a kid in certain situations. Regardless, I'm very happy to hear that you've taken a good path and made your life a positive example.

I think perhaps this idea is more useful to shine the light in my mind on finding ways to help out others, especially kids that have been or are currently in bad situations. This is all vague and general, but it's something I feel strongly about.

Thanks so much for the response and insight!

Best of luck to you and yours as well.

v/r

Fish

 

[Benji90]

I appreciate your candor and insight on this. This is very helpful--thanks for the response!

I had a rough upbringing, and definitely felt the things you have (suicide, feeling inadequate ect) and I still do sometimes, and that feeling makes it difficult for me to attempt to even learn things, it probably sounds like I'm putting things off and procrastinating, but sometimes I just think I can't start my own thing as I'm not good enough, and never will be.

Every day there's a battle in my head and I feel just winning that battle is an achievement, I turned 29 in October, and I always set 30 as my end - thankfully I met an amazing girl that let's me see a future past 30, and then I read the book written by @MJ DeMarco and now I no only see a future, but a bright one!

Good luck in your future endeavours @fish417913

 

[WJK]

I'm sorry to hear that about your upbringing, it's not right to place a kid in certain situations. Regardless, I'm very happy to hear that you've taken a good path and made your life a positive example.

I think perhaps this idea is more useful to shine the light in my mind on finding ways to help out others, especially kids that have been or are currently in bad situations. This is all vague and general, but it's something I feel strongly about.

Thanks so much for the response and insight!

Best of luck to you and yours as well.

v/r

Fish

Do something toward helping others. Today. Right now. Without delay. There are tons of things that you can do on the side that really make a difference for the kids and adults around you.

 

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[AgainstAllOdds]

I appreciate your candor and insight on this. This is very helpful--thanks for the response!

For sure.

I hope you get to where you want to go. Good luck man.

 

[zblundell]

That's an awesome idea! The more I ponder some sort of online presence, the better it seems as a form of leverage to help the greatest number of people.

Thanks so much for the feedback!

no problem good luck and keep us posted!

 

[LuckyPup]

This is my first non-intro, non-I've read the books, post.

Bottom Line Up Front: My childhood (birth to 18) was an absolute horror. I lived this dichotomy, where I grew up in small town farm country in the midwest, where everybody knew everybody (and their business), yet I, and my family, ostensibly lived a secret, hellish existence. In short, my father was very mentally ill, had some fairly bad brain damage, and was in a toxic marriage with my mother--combined they unleashed a state of hell in our house that exploded when I had barely become a teenager, and I saw and dealt with things that no kid should ever have to fathom. I had A LOT of traumatic stress (only realized that's what it was once I was an adult) as a result, and it really messed me up. Became suicidal a few times, caused a lot of social/emotional/relationship problems for me.

BUT, I overcame all that darkness and doing my best to make the best I can out of it. The thought came to me: my story is not only (in my opinion) fairly captivating, but also provides an example for the increasingly large number of young people today who think they are better off dead. I'm a veteran, I'm a former law enforcement officer, and I think my story may help out people across communities or categories, who are dealing with something similar.

My rough plan it this: start writing every day. Turn it into an e-book. Sell it on Gumroad, Amazon, and any other suitable sites. Since my parents are still alive, and I don't want to openly implicate my siblings or distant family, I'll write under a pseudonym and modify names and places.

Here is my question: Is this a viable plan? Certainly there is a financial component that I think may be solid, but I'm more excited about the prospect of helping other people by my story and example. Should I proceed with this? Or should I shelve this for a later time and focus on something more tanglible?

Thanks!

Regardless of whether or not you can monetize it, it sounds like you have a story to tell, one that you need to tell. Write. Tell your story. Just don't expect it to be your fast lane vehicle. But that's okay.

 

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[IlseVdG]

My humble advice:

Do what you have to do. But foremost: look after yourself and persue your dreams. This, more than anything else, will benefit to all. Because this, more that anything else, will push you to be the best person that you can be.

And if you have to write that book: write to your inner child, not to anyone else 'out there'. That way, your book will speak to all.

You're a very courageous man.

Many are standing by, cheering you on, in silence. You won't hear them, but just remember that, in difficult times. There's a lot of unseen suffering, physical and/or emotional abuse. 99% is not told. And certainly not on Facebook. ;-) There are some very nice facades out there, as you, very vividly and painfully, can witness.

I'm also someone who could write some volumes (not as heavy as yours, I am in no way special in that regard, I'm just a lucky girl who got the chance to break through some generation patterns, there are lots of people like me, more and more). But I will only do so if I feel I MUST do that for myself. I think the very best books in that genre are written from a kind of personal urgency. (You know, the kind that really puts you out there, totally naked, and totally true, 'cause you have no other choice, "cause you just have to get it out?) Not from a plan to make money. And not from the noble intention to help anyone else. Although there are many very helpful books out there like that, I certainly don't want to do any injustice to them!

At this moment, I personally don't feel that urgency, and I honestly don't know if I ever will. But it's different for everyone. We're all in different stages in our life, we all had different experiences, and we all have different needs at this time... For me, right now, my only aim is this: to finally be who I was born to be. Not who I was taught to be. To be able to make that shift, more and more, is such a relief. Such a freedom... At that point, nothing else matters all that much anymore. And then all these other things start to come together anyway. Half a year ago I received weekly e-mails from this forum and had no eye for them. Now I'm addicted and I find myself working two shifts. One for the boss and one for me. For my future. Now it's another late night. It's one o'clock and I have to STOP now. ;-)

So... You're amazing. I'd wish you 'good luck'... But you've already proven that you don't need that. You're there already, and you did that all on your own, against all odds. So don't put too much pressure on yourself now. Just enjoy yourself, and enjoy the journey. And make that million!!

The best is yet to come.