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Mindset - Stop Chasing, Start Attracting

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-----------------------------------
Stop Chasing - Start Attracting

Do you know a guy or gal, who’s literally always lucky?

Although they don’t work hard or “hustle” per se, they’ve always got more then enough good friends, oppurtunities, money and romantic/sexual partners?

What’s their “secret”?

In short, they attract and don’t chase.

The majority of people chases. They attitude is…”This MUST work. She/he MUST write back. I MUST get this…MUST get that….”, which makes them NEEDY as hell.

Neediness is a repellent of people, oppurtunities and money.

“Attracters” are different. They’re care-free about most outcomes in their lives and don’t fear failure. This attitude exudes a vibe of non-neediness and confidence.

People, be it a CEO, a potential business or sexual partner…

Are unconsciously attracted to the non-needy and repelled by the needy.

Build it….And the World WON’T Beat a Path to Your Door

There’s this misconception among 20 somethings, that as long as you work hard, get good grades, “show up” to do the job, “build” your resume, “build” your business…

That you’ll magically be successful beyond you wildest dreams.

It would be nice if success were that easy!

You see, you could be the best lawyer or the best dentisit in the world, if you can’t communicate how good you are to others, if you can’t sell and persuade, you won’t enjoy a lot of success.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but being really good at what you do, is not as important as being perceived as being really good.

That doesn’t mean you should become a fraud or con artist! Far from it…

What this means is, that you must get savvy and learn everything you can about persuasion, sales and marketing, to maximize the amount of success you get per unit of skill you acquire.

For example, I know a dentist who isn’t a particular excellent at what he does.

Don’t get me wrong, he will get your teeth clean and healthy, but he’s not as good from a technical standpoint, then most other dentists in our city.

Here’s the kicker though….From a business and financial success standpoint, the “okay” dentist beats the hell out of all the other expert dentists!

Why? He’s mastered marketing and sales.

He’s got a very persuasive website full of real testimonials and dental transformation stories.

He’s got a “patented”, “pain-free” new way of treating certain dental problems. If you look “behind the curtain”, you’ll see everybody does his method, but he found a cool, persuasive term for it and capitalizes on that.

You Get Rich By Keeping Money Not Spending It

I don’t care how much money you make, if you can’t save and invest the majority of your hard earned cash, you’re doomed to keep on working until you fall over dead.

I’ve seen it time and time again. From business partners, to close friends and anyone in between…

Guy or gal makes a bunch of money and what’s the first thing that’s on their mind?

“How can I spend the dough? How can spend the money, so that I appear cool, successful, rich and interesting to others?”

Again, don’t read this the wrong way. How people perceive you, is very important to your success in life.

But if you think, people care about the expensive car you drive or the exotic vacation you took, you’re dead wrong.

You influence people to do what you want them to do, by showing them how you can get their wants met. Not by showing off your material goods.

Show off your expertise.

Show off the of results you produce.

Show off how many people’s lives you’ve positively impacted.

Keep the money you make and invest it intelligently.

Anything else will make you broke as a joke.

To your success,

Mattis Rogers
 

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MJ DeMarco

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Can you link to the article and please give credit to the original author?
 

Kevin88660

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For example, I know a dentist who isn’t a particular excellent at what he does.

Don’t get me wrong, he will get your teeth clean and healthy, but he’s not as good from a technical standpoint, then most other dentists in our city.

Here’s the kicker though….From a business and financial success standpoint, the “okay” dentist beats the hell out of all the other expert dentists!

Why? He’s mastered marketing and sales.

He’s got a very persuasive website full of real testimonials and dental transformation stories.

He’s got a “patented”, “pain-free” new way of treating certain dental problems. If you look “behind the curtain”, you’ll see everybody does his method, but he found a cool, persuasive term for it and capitalizes on that.
Attract not push. Yes I agree.

But somehow the examples given in article goes back to using examples that are not about attracting in my opinion.

An average dentist who has a better marketing material of testimonials is still doing the push work.

It wont outsmart the consumers in today’s world when there is so much third party review platform.

Attraction is about how good you are in answering the customers’s question on “What is there for me?”. The long term sustainable solution is to have productocracy. The short term solution is about giving away free stuff and values/bleeding.

So many businesses are willing to bleed to do the marketing these days you just can’t flash and talk your way through. Consumers are like vultures these days if you are giving real stuffs they will rush to you and broadcast to the whole world.

I think Mr Beast is a perfect examples when the initial stages of insane giving get him enough audience and fans that he can make the money back on selling merchandise.
 

MattR82

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Hahaha, I have an absolutely USELESS mate who is one of these types of people.

It's interesting to watch. The more aloof he is, the more opportunities get thrown at him (which he doesn't even really take lol).
 

Metalfury

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Jul 7, 2019
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I heard about a study that looked at people who perceived themselves to be lucky or unlucky.

They got a group of them in for an experiment, but told them that they were running late and asked them to wait in the canteen and have some food (where they were secretly monitored).

The 'lucky' people would sit with other people and strike up conversations with strangers, the 'unlucky' ones would get their sandwich and sit in a corner somewhere; pissed that they were being kept waiting.

It showed Lucky people make their own luck through their habits and interactions, whereas unlucky people often just don't put themselves out there enough to find opportunities.
 

lantonio90

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Jul 20, 2019
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I found this on Quora and felt that it might benefit others.
If not in the right place, please feel free to move it.

-----------------------------------
Stop Chasing - Start Attracting

Do you know a guy or gal, who’s literally always lucky?

Although they don’t work hard or “hustle” per se, they’ve always got more then enough good friends, oppurtunities, money and romantic/sexual partners?

What’s their “secret”?

In short, they attract and don’t chase.

The majority of people chases. They attitude is…”This MUST work. She/he MUST write back. I MUST get this…MUST get that….”, which makes them NEEDY as hell.

Neediness is a repellent of people, oppurtunities and money.

“Attracters” are different. They’re care-free about most outcomes in their lives and don’t fear failure. This attitude exudes a vibe of non-neediness and confidence.

People, be it a CEO, a potential business or sexual partner…

Are unconsciously attracted to the non-needy and repelled by the needy.

Build it….And the World WON’T Beat a Path to Your Door

There’s this misconception among 20 somethings, that as long as you work hard, get good grades, “show up” to do the job, “build” your resume, “build” your business…

That you’ll magically be successful beyond you wildest dreams.

It would be nice if success were that easy!

You see, you could be the best lawyer or the best dentisit in the world, if you can’t communicate how good you are to others, if you can’t sell and persuade, you won’t enjoy a lot of success.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but being really good at what you do, is not as important as being perceived as being really good.

That doesn’t mean you should become a fraud or con artist! Far from it…

What this means is, that you must get savvy and learn everything you can about persuasion, sales and marketing, to maximize the amount of success you get per unit of skill you acquire.

For example, I know a dentist who isn’t a particular excellent at what he does.

Don’t get me wrong, he will get your teeth clean and healthy, but he’s not as good from a technical standpoint, then most other dentists in our city.

Here’s the kicker though….From a business and financial success standpoint, the “okay” dentist beats the hell out of all the other expert dentists!

Why? He’s mastered marketing and sales.

He’s got a very persuasive website full of real testimonials and dental transformation stories.

He’s got a “patented”, “pain-free” new way of treating certain dental problems. If you look “behind the curtain”, you’ll see everybody does his method, but he found a cool, persuasive term for it and capitalizes on that.

You Get Rich By Keeping Money Not Spending It

I don’t care how much money you make, if you can’t save and invest the majority of your hard earned cash, you’re doomed to keep on working until you fall over dead.

I’ve seen it time and time again. From business partners, to close friends and anyone in between…

Guy or gal makes a bunch of money and what’s the first thing that’s on their mind?

“How can I spend the dough? How can spend the money, so that I appear cool, successful, rich and interesting to others?”

Again, don’t read this the wrong way. How people perceive you, is very important to your success in life.

But if you think, people care about the expensive car you drive or the exotic vacation you took, you’re dead wrong.

You influence people to do what you want them to do, by showing them how you can get their wants met. Not by showing off your material goods.

Show off your expertise.

Show off the of results you produce.

Show off how many people’s lives you’ve positively impacted.

Keep the money you make and invest it intelligently.

Anything else will make you broke as a joke.

To your success,

Mattis Rogers
Love this
 

Thinh

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The big problem with this advice is, albeit it is true, it's 100% unapplicable.

People who don't need it apply it already, and those who need it, well, can't apply it.

Think about it for a moment: the whole purpose of this piece is to advise people to stop chasing and start attracting. But, inherently, following the advice would equate to chasing: you can't get what you want by chasing, so you think you can get it by changing your behaviour. But the end goal is still there, so it's still a chase.
 

Kevin88660

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The big problem with this advice is, albeit it is true, it's 100% unapplicable.

People who don't need it apply it already, and those who need it, well, can't apply it.

Think about it for a moment: the whole purpose of this piece is to advise people to stop chasing and start attracting. But, inherently, following the advice would equate to chasing: you can't get what you want by chasing, so you think you can get it by changing your behaviour. But the end goal is still there, so it's still a chase.
It is about focusing on the pitch versus delivering real competitive value.

Chasing and pitching is about “asking someone else to follow your agenda”. It is really the “do something for me” approach which is a turn off in today’s world. Because everyone else is looking at you asking “What is there for me.”

If you want more friends and network then learn to pay bills for drinks.

If you want people to trust your products let them use for free for a while.

I don’t like the OP’s example of “communicating your value clearly” because the pitch “buy my products because I am good” is still based on a selfish premise of taking (taking money) before giving (giving value). There is no way your customer knows it is true and in their mind their skepticism will be there.

I think the key spirit of attracting is offering a “risk free” proposition for others. That you have to give first and expect/risk that there will be no return. It is a kind of strategic generosity that is very to execute mentally for most people, that if you can bite the bullet and do it consistently there will be great rewards in boosting your network and interpersonal relationships.

People are fundamentally attracted to you because you can offer something nice, exciting, free of charge to them.
 

Speed112

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The big problem with this advice is, albeit it is true, it's 100% unapplicable.

People who don't need it apply it already, and those who need it, well, can't apply it.

Think about it for a moment: the whole purpose of this piece is to advise people to stop chasing and start attracting. But, inherently, following the advice would equate to chasing: you can't get what you want by chasing, so you think you can get it by changing your behaviour. But the end goal is still there, so it's still a chase.

This is true...

The premise is sound and very useful, but the advice is paradoxical. The crux of the premise actually is that in order to attract you need space. A vacuum needs to be filled, but if you're already exhausted and overwhelmed by all your day-to-day responsibilities, the hustle, the grind... opportunities fly by you.

When driven by hunger, you act impulsively and repel great opportunities by hopping onto the first ones that you come across in desperation.

The Art of War applies here.

So in order to attract you need to be sated while harboring a vacuum. Hence the paradox. The hole itself creates the hunger, which you must keep under control and postpone filling until -you've negotiated the right deal or -you've found the right job or -you closed the right client or -found the right business.

Pull the fishing rod too quickly and you lose the fish. Wait too long and you lose your bait.

The same kind of balance must be found with your marketing messaging and your business decisions. A skill you've got to develop as a successful entrepreneur.

The attracting part is when you drop a big lure in the middle of the lake... right above your net. Then when you fish them out in bulk, you don't just eat them, but nurture them and grow them and breed them and farm the fish forever. You do that by building an audience and serving its needs.

The great thing about entrepreneurship, though... is that you can infinitely serve that audience because the value you provide them is higher than their cost. Unlike fish, happy buyers are unexhaustive.

Food for thought.
 

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