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Mindset is what I struggle with most. Any tips?

Anything related to matters of the mind

Envious

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I'm not here for sympathy or for a shoulder to cry on, but due to various negative and people influencing me throughout my life, I struggle with a poor mindset which usually manifests itself in self doubt or fear of judgement/ criticism

I often feel like I have a mental barrier blocking me from executing on my ideas and I want to change!

Anyone else got over this? Any tips on how to move forward?

Thanks in advance.
 
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ArthurVontress

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You need to become self-aware of what triggers your mindset swing. Once you can recognize it, you'll be able to stop yourself from going down that path.

I recommend "Unfu*k Yourself" by Gary John Bishop. Good read - though I recommend the audio book because it's a little more impactful.
 

Envious

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You need to become self-aware of what triggers your mindset swing. Once you can recognize it, you'll be able to stop yourself from going down that path.

I recommend "Unfu*k Yourself" by Gary John Bishop. Good read - though I recommend the audio book because it's a little more impactful.
Thanks for the advice. I think I may actually know what triggers it. I've always been a deep thinker and I like to ponder. I sense that I overthink too much instead of diving in and taking action which given enough time, allows negative self talk to creep in.

I'll check out that book!
 

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I'm not here for sympathy or for a shoulder to cry on, but due to various negative and people influencing me throughout my life, I struggle with a poor mindset which usually manifests itself in self doubt or fear of judgement/ criticism

I often feel like I have a mental barrier blocking me from executing on my ideas and I want to change!

Anyone else got over this? Any tips on how to move forward?

Thanks in advance.
Usually what I've figured out myself, is I used to allow others to influence my beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. Really, you have to learn to separate your thoughts, emotion, and feelings from other people's. Understand they're entitled to their opinion, belief systems, but this doesn't mean you have to make them yours.

Blocks only come from allowing others to tell you what you're doing is wrong. Most of the time I've been making the right choices, taking the right actions, but other people haven't learned the same thing, so they tell you it's wrong, because perhaps they never got a degree, or perhaps they haven't been in the fast lane forum here, perhaps they haven't had positive role models, so it's hard for people to believe there's something better.

Ruby Payne teaches the differences between the social classes and the rules of the game of life is completely different. This is what most families are not aware of what they're teaching their children about survival, finances, coping skills, and of course if you break out of that dysfunctional way of relating, communicating, they are resistant for the simple reason you're leaving them behind to be responsible for their own emotions, thoughts, feelings, and choices in life.

Usually it amounts to your the Villain for walking away from dysfunction ways of surviving in life. If you're teaching your failure to your children, they won't succeed. But, I guess it's a catch 22, because I've failed, my child has watched me fail, but they have also watched me get back up and keep going and naturally they followed to be a fighter and be growth minded and not give up and quit.

You mindset is formed every day by what kind of content you put in your head. Who you surround your life with on a daily basis.
This equals to what kind of books you read. What music you select. What programs you watch on television.

Everything you put into your mind obviously comes out in your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. "Garbage In & Garbage Out".
 
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Rawseed

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Your actions are a result of your mindset. But your mindset is also a result of your action.

Your habits are your most repeated actions. So, if you can change your habits, you can change your mindset.

Check out Atomic Habits by Clear. He says what I just said, but it's more clear.

Lol. Bad joke.

Also, distance yourself from as many negative people as you can. Become a member of a community or group of people that you aspire to be like.

Online communities like this as great. But, offline is even better.

You will become the average of the five people you spend most of your time with. Choose them well.

Also, stay away from television and social media. Instead read and listen to uplifting books and podcasts.

It's advertisers jobs to make you feel like crap. The worse you feel and the more scared you are, the more you'll buy and the more you'll consume.

The fastest ways to change your mindset is to change your physical environment, your community, your habits, and what media you consume.
 

JohnCee

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I struggle with a poor mindset which usually manifests itself in self doubt or fear of judgement/ criticism

I often feel like I have a mental barrier blocking me from executing on my ideas and I want to change!

Envious,

Instead of trying to overcome them, why not change your relationship to these feelings? Trying to beat them may give them more power.

Three things come to mind:
  • Self-doubt and fear show that you're pushing boundaries, that you're challenging yourself. If you're not feeling those feelings, you're probably playing at the same level (no growth).
  • Embrace the feelings; they're showing you exactly where you can grow/expand.
  • I read a great Bette Midler quote once, saying, "The problem with success is finding anyone who is happy for you." What if you never found anyone to support your goals? Pursue them anyway, for yourself.
These feelings are natural. Each time you face growth/expansion, you'll encounter them again.

Maybe they're a blessing?

Just my two cents.

Rooting for you.

J
 

John D.

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+1 on the above suggestion -- Andy Frisella is there to kick my a$$ on my morning workout every single day, no exceptions. Search for MFCEO Project Podcast.

Quick actionable advice I got from him:

Identify your 'pivot points', which are the points in time when you catch yourself contemplating whether to work on your purpose or slack off.

For me basically I visualize two options I can go with:
Option #1: Work on the tasks that align with my plan and choose the ideal life I envision for myself.
Option #2: Pick the easy way out and choose to be broke. I think of things like not being able to take my girlfriend out, and everyone who said I can't do it triumphantly laughing in my face (I visualize all this in great detail.)

After I do this there isn't a choice anymore. The sheer terror from that second option makes it clear that there isn't a second option.

At least it's what works for me. Fear is an underrated motivator.
 

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Envious

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Thank's for all the tips guys. Will get working on it right away!
 
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H:E:A:T

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I'm not here for sympathy or for a shoulder to cry on, but due to various negative and people influencing me throughout my life, I struggle with a poor mindset which usually manifests itself in self doubt or fear of judgement/ criticism

Okay, how can you escape those people? What hinders you to leave all this behind?

I often feel like I have a mental barrier blocking me from executing on my ideas and I want to change!

Before you can start with your ideas you have to learn some important, vital things:

1.) Habits are strong as F*ck
A habit means you do not think actively about the doing but still take the advantages and disadvantages of it. This is massive if xou consider how many habits you have and how they influence your life. e.g. what are you doing in the morning? Do you meditate for some minutes or check your whatsapp or instagram? what are you doing right at when you come home from work? Do you switch on the PC and junking in some food or do you look at your project diary and what have to be done? That make a huge difference in your life and that are only two habits!

2.) Habits can be changed and it is not that hard
Combine old and new habits. Look at yourself and what you are doing: When you come home what is the very first thing you do? ha! Maybe till now you just went home after work. Why not combine the way back home with a stop at the gym? It is much more easy to do it directly after work than after a chill sit at the couch! Look at your habits! If you wake up place your diary just next to you, keep a glas of fresh water by the side and ban your mobile device from your sleeping room! Find ways to make it easy!

3.) Know what habits are beneficial
Some habits do you good and some harm you. Take a paper, divide it in the middle by aline and write on the left side the habits you think are bad and on the right with which habits you want to replace them. It is way much easier to replace a habit than stop it, cause if you just stop you do not know what to do else. that is why so many smokers can not quit and so man video game addicted can not stop playing. Like me: I was a lot into video games, not addicted, but spend a huge amount of time. I replaced video games with Sports, reading and business and guess what? I do not even have a spare time to do bubbleshooter or some other 5min game... Instead I read on my Ebookreader when I am e.g. at the doctor waiting (mindset: I can not afford to waste my time!) Know what to do else and you will succeed!

4.) Start little and focus on a few!
Start with little habits like going every 4 weeks to a barber getting a nice haircut, go for a walk at least 10 minutes a day, do not eat after 19 pm and so on... Easy and not so difficult habits. Take three so you can focus on each enough and do it at least for a month. After that month it is mostly a habit... Than start again with some bigger challenge... Do sports on two times a week, read a book every month or spend half an hour daily reading... eat one month without junkfood... Only drink water during day and on weekends do not waste yourself drunken.

I guarantee you if you will focus this 4 things NOW and do it you will drastically change and so will your reality! Hope it helps and if you need any help putting this to action or if you have remaining questions feel absolutely free to ask! Wish you the best!
 

Envious

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Okay, how can you escape those people? What hinders you to leave all this behind?



Before you can start with your ideas you have to learn some important, vital things:

1.) Habits are strong as F*ck
A habit means you do not think actively about the doing but still take the advantages and disadvantages of it. This is massive if xou consider how many habits you have and how they influence your life. e.g. what are you doing in the morning? Do you meditate for some minutes or check your whatsapp or instagram? what are you doing right at when you come home from work? Do you switch on the PC and junking in some food or do you look at your project diary and what have to be done? That make a huge difference in your life and that are only two habits!

2.) Habits can be changed and it is not that hard
Combine old and new habits. Look at yourself and what you are doing: When you come home what is the very first thing you do? ha! Maybe till now you just went home after work. Why not combine the way back home with a stop at the gym? It is much more easy to do it directly after work than after a chill sit at the couch! Look at your habits! If you wake up place your diary just next to you, keep a glas of fresh water by the side and ban your mobile device from your sleeping room! Find ways to make it easy!

3.) Know what habits are beneficial
Some habits do you good and some harm you. Take a paper, divide it in the middle by aline and write on the left side the habits you think are bad and on the right with which habits you want to replace them. It is way much easier to replace a habit than stop it, cause if you just stop you do not know what to do else. that is why so many smokers can not quit and so man video game addicted can not stop playing. Like me: I was a lot into video games, not addicted, but spend a huge amount of time. I replaced video games with Sports, reading and business and guess what? I do not even have a spare time to do bubbleshooter or some other 5min game... Instead I read on my Ebookreader when I am e.g. at the doctor waiting (mindset: I can not afford to waste my time!) Know what to do else and you will succeed!

4.) Start little and focus on a few!
Start with little habits like going every 4 weeks to a barber getting a nice haircut, go for a walk at least 10 minutes a day, do not eat after 19 pm and so on... Easy and not so difficult habits. Take three so you can focus on each enough and do it at least for a month. After that month it is mostly a habit... Than start again with some bigger challenge... Do sports on two times a week, read a book every month or spend half an hour daily reading... eat one month without junkfood... Only drink water during day and on weekends do not waste yourself drunken.

I guarantee you if you will focus this 4 things NOW and do it you will drastically change and so will your reality! Hope it helps and if you need any help putting this to action or if you have remaining questions feel absolutely free to ask! Wish you the best!


Hey Heat,

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

"Okay, how can you escape those people? What hinders you to leave all this behind?"

I actually have escaped these people for the most part, but due to them being very close family, it's hard to cut them out completely. I try to limit my time with them though.

My self doubt and poor mindset is actually a conditioned habit that was probably brought about by being constantly criticised and told i would never amount to anything when i was younger.

I've come a long way though but still not where i need to be!

My habits are generally pretty good, i get up at 5 am most days and work on marketing, copywriting before leaving for work. I eat healthy foods 85-90% of the time and work out 3-4 times a week. Then i usually work more for a 2-3 hours when i get back from work.

My worst habits are procrastination and over-thinking. This happens when i'm stressed out or the self doubt creeps in and i run away from the pain to some temporary reward like browsing youtube or doing anything that gives a little dopamine hit (which then turns into guilt, low self esteem and more pain)

Ahh, what a viscous cycle it can be.
 

H:E:A:T

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My habits are generally pretty good, i get up at 5 am most days and work on marketing, copywriting before leaving for work. I eat healthy foods 85-90% of the time and work out 3-4 times a week. Then i usually work more for a 2-3 hours when i get back from work.
So you are doing great! But still you have this issues:
My self doubt and poor mindset is actually a conditioned habit that was probably brought about by being constantly criticised and told i would never amount to anything when i was younger.

How to solve this? If you do not do it allready I suggest you write a diary where you answer yourself the following questions:

1. What am I thankful today? List three things
2. What did I great today? List three things
3. What am I excited about tomorrow? List three things
4. What can I do better tomorrow? List three things

Do this for at least a month and it is of difference! and it might break:

Ahh, what a viscous cycle it can be.
 
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Brian Suh

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I'm not here for sympathy or for a shoulder to cry on, but due to various negative and people influencing me throughout my life, I struggle with a poor mindset which usually manifests itself in self doubt or fear of judgement/ criticism

I often feel like I have a mental barrier blocking me from executing on my ideas and I want to change!

Anyone else got over this? Any tips on how to move forward?

Thanks in advance.
Hit the gym. Take small small small action steps such as every time I wake up I will drink one glass of water. Your belief and ability to predict the future will increase . This is confidence. That you know you’ll be okay and that you control your actions. But it’s buolt like a muscle. Take on bigger and bigger challenges In life
 

Envious

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Yes , get back to work. This is resistance in one of its many disguises.
Yes you're right, the brain is an expert at keeping you safe and avoiding the uncomfortable.
 
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