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I need to leave the womb.

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

whiz

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Hi. First things first: thanks to MJ and everyone else that have put their blood, sweat, and tears into this forum. I love this place and will read FLF until some of us are so old that there are posts about diaper recommendations. Now, to the issue at hand:

I am with a great girl. Been with her for over three years. I can get anything I want at any time. She is the embodiment of comfort. The nest, the womb; whatever you want to symbolize it with.

And that's the issue. I feel that every second I am with her is stolen from my self-development timeline. I truly enjoy being with her, but I am NOT happy as a person. There are some days where I am miserable, and then I get a hit of my dope (her) and forget about it for a night. I drink with her or we go somewhere and have a good time... we F*ck, we sleep in, and I'll leave and just be right back to where I was. Not taking action. Being stuck in limbo.

I understand this is NOT her issue but mine. But I feel like she assumes the role of an enabler. I feel like I have tainted our relationship by being emotionally dependent.

How can a relationship between two people be pure when there is dependence? If I can’t stand on my own, instead of learning, I grab a leg from another. Seems like a cop out, and it makes me wonder if this is what the majority of the married/nested population is founded on. Co-dependency.

Anyway, last time I posted, people brought up the point that I’m using her as a cop out for my own issues of inaction.

I understand that this IS the case. But I also do think there is truth that this relationship is enabling me.

I don’t enjoy the current state of my life and I need major change. But this relationship tricks my brain into getting enough “feel-good drugs” to keep me at bay. It’s like I’m getting just enough sun to maintain life but I’m not growing.

There is a great story of a shop owner that has a dog on the porch of his shop. The dog occassionally yelps out in pain and whines.

A customer asks “Why is the dog always yelping?”

The shop owner says “There’s a darn nail under him, right where he likes to lay”

“Well, why doesn’t he move?”, the customer asks.

The shop owner replies “Well, I guess it just don’t hurt bad enough.”

I feel like I am that dog. Suspended in space and time through the constructs and support that I allowed to hold up my ego.

So my questions for you guys:

  1. I obviously need to end this relationship, correct? My thoughts around it just don’t seem healthy. I don’t like thinking like this.
  2. How do I go about it? She has never wronged me. I respect her as a person and she respects me. Do I do the car talk? Do I wait until after X-Mas?
Thanks guys.

-whiz

EDIT: I think I either read about the dog story in TMF or someone here on FLF. 99% sure. Not trying to plagiarize! Sorry if I stole your work. It's just a great story that describes my life perfectly right now.
 
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Tim Allen Jr.

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Playing devil's advocate here. Who is to say she's the problem? Because it really doesn't seem like she is. Seems like your comfortability is all you.

Here's another story.

There was a man who had such an important task to do. He was obsessed about getting this task done. But before he could full dedicate himself to that task he had to.....

Clean the house.... cus you can't start an important task with a dirty house.
He had to get groceries... cus what happens if you're doing the important task and you get hungry.
He had to get a new computer.... cus you can't do an important task on old shit.....
Had to find the perfect time to do something.... cus you can't do something when it's not the perfect time...

Question you gotta ask yourself is she really the problem or just another hurdle you're putting in front of yourself to not get started?

Also, she's not controlling your thoughts, you are.
 
D

Deleted50669

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Hi. First things first: thanks to MJ and everyone else that have put their blood, sweat, and tears into this forum. I love this place and will read FLF until some of us are so old that there are posts about diaper recommendations. Now, to the issue at hand:

I am with a great girl. Been with her for over three years. I can get anything I want at any time. She is the embodiment of comfort. The nest, the womb; whatever you want to symbolize it with.

And that's the issue. I feel that every second I am with her is stolen from my self-development timeline. I truly enjoy being with her, but I am NOT happy as a person. There are some days where I am miserable, and then I get a hit of my dope (her) and forget about it for a night. I drink with her or we go somewhere and have a good time... we F*ck, we sleep in, and I'll leave and just be right back to where I was. Not taking action. Being stuck in limbo.

I understand this is NOT her issue but mine. But I feel like she assumes the role of an enabler. I feel like I have tainted our relationship by being emotionally dependent.

How can a relationship between two people be pure when there is dependence? If I can’t stand on my own, instead of learning, I grab a leg from another. Seems like a cop out, and it makes me wonder if this is what the majority of the married/nested population is founded on. Co-dependency.

Anyway, last time I posted, people brought up the point that I’m using her as a cop out for my own issues of inaction.

I understand that this IS the case. But I also do think there is truth that this relationship is enabling me.

I don’t enjoy the current state of my life and I need major change. But this relationship tricks my brain into getting enough “feel-good drugs” to keep me at bay. It’s like I’m getting just enough sun to maintain life but I’m not growing.

There is a great story of a shop owner that has a dog on the porch of his shop. The dog occassionally yelps out in pain and whines.

A customer asks “Why is the dog always yelping?”

The shop owner says “There’s a darn nail under him, right where he likes to lay”

“Well, why doesn’t he move?”, the customer asks.

The shop owner replies “Well, I guess it just don’t hurt bad enough.”

I feel like I am that dog. Suspended in space and time through the constructs and support that I allowed to hold up my ego.

So my questions for you guys:

  1. I obviously need to end this relationship, correct? My thoughts around it just don’t seem healthy. I don’t like thinking like this.
  2. How do I go about it? She has never wronged me. I respect her as a person and she respects me. Do I do the car talk? Do I wait until after X-Mas?
Thanks guys.

-whiz

EDIT: I think I either read about the dog story in TMF or someone here on FLF. 99% sure. Not trying to plagiarize! Sorry if I stole your work. It's just a great story that describes my life perfectly right now.

So,

As a vested student of psychology this sounds to me like a scenario that would benefit from referencing Mazlow's Hierarchy of needs. Here's a link for reference:

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.jpg

If you're unfamiliar with this, the idea is you start at the bottom, and then your base needs are satisfied you crawl up the pyramid, striving to satisfy each subsequent level. Your girlfriend fulfills the safety, belongingness, and love needs (and to some extent, probably esteem). But you will not self-actualize if you do not recognize and treat self-actualization as a need.

As far as a strategy, it sounds to me like communication is key. She may not even know what you just described to us. And if she doesn't know, she won't have awareness of a need for change. Communication is taken for granted often, but it is the more common root cause of social entropy. If she's as awesome as you describe, she will seek to better understand this calling you have, and at least respect your need for space to operate (and perhaps even collaborate, I've met successful entrepreneurial couples).

That's my two cents,
Cheers
 

whiz

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Playing devil's advocate here. Who is to say she's the problem? Because it really doesn't seem like she is. Seems like your comfortability is all you.

Here's another story.

There was a man who had such an important task to do. He was obsessed about getting this task done. But before he could full dedicate himself to that task he had to.....

Clean the house.... cus you can't start an important task with a dirty house.
He had to get groceries... cus what happens if you're doing the important task and you get hungry.
He had to get a new computer.... cus you can't do an important task on old shit.....
Had to find the perfect time to do something.... cus you can't do something when it's not the perfect time...

Question you gotta ask yourself is she really the problem or just another hurdle you're putting in front of yourself to not get started?

Also, she's not controlling your thoughts, you are.
I don't think she is the problem. I think my reaction to her is the problem. I think I am using several "floaties" throughout my life and my life just doesn't hurt enough to get me to really move. She is one of them. Just like my home. I still live at home at 26.

Of course, this is just what I "think" and "feel". I understand I could be making tons of excuses. But they feel real. I feel like pulling an MJ and uprooting and just shocking myself into awareness. Everything around me is so comfortable and at times I feel like I am blind to my avenues and opportunities. I am at a very frustrating point in my life. I feel like I have the love and intelligence to pull off a life of entrepreneurship but I am allowing comfortability to sedate me at times.

I KNOW I have shit to do and should be moving. I feel guilty just watching TV with her sometimes. Even when we "make love", I immediately feel guilty afterwards. Like I shot dope or cheated myself or something. The dopamine comes and it goes.

My net worth is embarrassing and I am in the prime of my life, spending time being comfortable with my girlfriend instead of feeling the pain and making the change. This is very difficult to describe. I hope someone here has been through something similar.
 
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whiz

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So,

As a vested student of psychology this sounds to me like a scenario that would benefit from referencing Mazlow's Hierarchy of needs. Here's a link for reference:

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.jpg

If you're unfamiliar with this, the idea is you start at the bottom, and then your base needs are satisfied you crawl up the pyramid, striving to satisfy each subsequent level. Your girlfriend fulfills the safety, belongingness, and love needs (and to some extent, probably esteem). But you will not self-actualize if you do not recognize and treat self-actualization as a need.

As far as a strategy, it sounds to me like communication is key. She may not even know what you just described to us. And if she doesn't know, she won't have awareness of a need for change. Communication is taken for granted often, but it is the more common root cause of social entropy. If she's as awesome as you describe, she will seek to better understand this calling you have, and at least respect your need for space to operate (and perhaps even collaborate, I've met successful entrepreneurial couples).

That's my two cents,
Cheers
Thanks. I am familiar with the pyramid but it was interesting to examine it while in the thick of this peculiar mood I'm in.

I have an inferiority complex about my dependency because I am a 26 year old male living at my house and getting comfort from her.

I want to be able to "photosynthesize" the majority of the pyramid. I want to be strong and independent. I don't believe our relationship can end well if I never learn to run on my own engine. I just feel like it's not pure. I am "using" her, in a sense. Of course, we all "use" people for a bunch of things. People play different roles and provide utility to us. But I don't want to use her. I don't know man. I just don't want to think about her. I don't want to worry about her in my decision making or anything.

I need to start my life and take action, and I need to do it YESTERDAY. I don't want to take her into account. I see the next years of my life being very chaotic and work-focused. I don't want to hurt her or have to worry about her. I don't know man. Thank you for replying though.
 

lewj24

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  1. I obviously need to end this relationship, correct? My thoughts around it just don’t seem healthy. I don’t like thinking like this.
  2. How do I go about it? She has never wronged me. I respect her as a person and she respects me. Do I do the car talk? Do I wait until after X-Mas?
Why would you break up with her? That makes no sense. Odds are if that's the only change you make you will be just like you are now but single. She's not the problem. Plenty of people become successful in a relationship. Some actually say they wouldn't have made it without the support of their significant other.

"Man I just can't motivate myself to go for a run. Well its probably because my damn couch is too comfortable. Well I got rid of my couch. WTF I still don't want to run! What gives! And now I got no place to sit! Why does my life suck!?!"
 

lewj24

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  1. I obviously need to end this relationship, correct? My thoughts around it just don’t seem healthy. I don’t like thinking like this.
  2. How do I go about it? She has never wronged me. I respect her as a person and she respects me. Do I do the car talk? Do I wait until after X-Mas?
Why would you break up with her? That makes no sense. Odds are if that's the only change you make you will be just like you are now but single. She's not the problem. Plenty of people become successful in a relationship. Some actually say they wouldn't have made it without the support of their significant other.

"Man I just can't motivate myself to go for a run. Well its probably because my damn couch is too comfortable. Well I got rid of my couch. WTF I still don't want to run! What gives! And now I got no place to sit! Why does my life suck!?!"
 
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lewj24

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  1. I obviously need to end this relationship, correct? My thoughts around it just don’t seem healthy. I don’t like thinking like this.
  2. How do I go about it? She has never wronged me. I respect her as a person and she respects me. Do I do the car talk? Do I wait until after X-Mas?
Why would you break up with her? That makes no sense. Odds are if that's the only change you make you will be just like you are now but single. She's not the problem. Plenty of people become successful in a relationship. Some actually say they wouldn't have made it without the support of their significant other.

"Man I just can't motivate myself to go for a run. Well its probably because my damn couch is too comfortable. Well I got rid of my couch. WTF I still don't want to run! What gives! And now I got no place to sit! Why does my life suck!?!"
 

whiz

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Why would you break up with her? That makes no sense. Odds are if that's the only change you make you will be just like you are now but single. She's not the problem. Plenty of people become successful in a relationship. Some actually say they wouldn't have made it without the support of their significant other.

"Man I just can't motivate myself to go for a run. Well its probably because my damn couch is too comfortable. Well I got rid of my couch. WTF I still don't want to run! What gives! And now I got no place to sit! Why does my life suck!?!"

My reasoning is that she is one of many crutches that I have grown to lean on. I most certainly would not be the same person without her. I would need to work to feel good about myself. I am currently validated through her. She makes me feel like a man, like I'm doing enough, when I'm not. I don't know why I fall for it. I've felt like a man the past three years but I am just not. I have the reward without doing the work. I feel good when I really ain't shit at the current point in my life. Once again, it's not her. It's how I perceive/use her for identity and self worth. It's very bothersome. I don't want to have regrets in the future but I feel like I will regret it if I don't just 180 my life soon.
 

lewj24

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My reasoning is that she is one of many crutches that I have grown to lean on. I most certainly would not be the same person without her. I would need to work to feel good about myself. I am currently validated through her. She makes me feel like a man, like I'm doing enough, when I'm not. I don't know why I fall for it. I've felt like a man the past three years but I am just not. I have the reward without doing the work. I feel good when I really ain't shit at the current point in my life. Once again, it's not her. It's how I perceive/use her for identity and self worth. It's very bothersome. I don't want to have regrets in the future but I feel like I will regret it if I don't just 180 my life soon.
You will take away your crutches and fall flat on your face. Why not learn how to use your feet to support yourself and keep your crutches for support when needed? You want to burn your crutches forever without knowing if that will even work.

I bet you were like this before you were in this relationship just with different people in a different way. How long have you been with her?
 
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racyred09

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It seems like you are looking for a way to shake up your life to motivate yourself into action. I agree with you that sometimes changing your environment in a big way can make an impact because if you stay in the same routines, you're probably going to stay in a cycle of inaction. However, while the details aren't totally clear, I think maybe your focus is misdirected toward your girlfriend. It sounds like maybe there are bigger changes that need to take place that may be less comfortable than leaving your girlfriend, like moving away from your parents' house and fully supporting yourself. If you leave your girlfriend you may very well find the next crutch. Maybe you need to look deeper at what's keeping you from changing your life. Fear of failure?
 

whiz

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You will take away your crutches and fall flat on your face. Why not learn how to use your feet to support yourself and keep your crutches for support when needed? You want to burn your crutches forever without knowing if that will even work.

I bet you were like this before you were in this relationship just with different people in a different way. How long have you been with her?
I've been with her for 3 years. The point is the "crutch removal" will force me to walk. I have faith in myself. I adapt well. I just feel like I've atrophied my "adaption muscle" through comfortability.
 

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Amen dude. Literally today left a relationship for the same reasons. It was hard but when I was driving away, I felt very light in my chest and I knew it was the right thing.

It's not gonna be pleasant or easy but the fact that you're even posting this tells me you should. Of course I don't know your relationship.

Good luck brother!
 
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Sounds like codependency and enmeshment. Even if you leave this girl you still have these issues. You need to get some help for this. I am guessing your mom might be the cause of this. Which is usually the source of boys/men having issues like these. You also need to take some time and DREAM about your life. Where is it you want to go? Who do you want to be? Get this rock solid in your mind, heart and soul. This will help you through challenging times. You will also recognize people and situations that do not aid in this path too and learn to avoid them.
 

LeoistheSun

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Im going to agree with others on this:

Your 26. You don't know what the hell you want. You think you do, but you dont.

Breaking up with you girl doesn't seem like the right 1st decision. Maybe the 2nd or 3rd but definitely not the 1st.

Do you smoke dope? You said you drink. Stop that first.

Talk with your girl first, see what she says.

As many have said here, a woman can give you wings or be an anchor, its best to ACTUALLY find out what she is.

Moving to a different location can also do the same thing for you as breaking up.

Just think you should try something else before ruining something good.

CHANGE ANYTHING TO CHANGE YOUR MIND:

Your stuck in a habit of no productivity. You can change your environment, the time you wake up, ANYTHING to break your habit. Should try it first.
 
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whiz

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It seems like you are looking for a way to shake up your life to motivate yourself into action. I agree with you that sometimes changing your environment in a big way can make an impact because if you stay in the same routines, you're probably going to stay in a cycle of inaction. However, while the details aren't totally clear, I think maybe your focus is misdirected toward your girlfriend. It sounds like maybe there are bigger changes that need to take place that may be less comfortable than leaving your girlfriend, like moving away from your parents' house and fully supporting yourself. If you leave your girlfriend you may very well find the next crutch. Maybe you need to look deeper at what's keeping you from changing your life. Fear of failure?
Perhaps. I think we are all afraid of failure at first.
Im going to agree with others on this:

Your 26. You don't know what the hell you want. You think you do, but you dont.

Breaking up with you girl doesn't seem like the right 1st decision. Maybe the 2nd or 3rd but definitely not the 1st.

Do you smoke dope? You said you drink. Stop that first.

Talk with your girl first, see what she says.

As many have said here, a woman can give you wings or be an anchor, its best to ACTUALLY find out what she is.

Moving to a different location can also do the same thing for you as breaking up.

Just think you should try something else before ruining something good.

CHANGE ANYTHING TO CHANGE YOUR MIND:

Your stuck in a habit of no productivity. You can change your environment, the time you wake up, ANYTHING to break your habit. Should try it first.
I drink/smoke weed occasionally and I do not get blasted or roasted.
I eat well, wake up early, hydrate, work out/take care of my body, the whole 9.
I just understand my dependence issues and how they rose. I have never truly left my mother, literally and metaphorically.
I am just tired of anchors being externally-based. It scares me. I view it kind of like how MJ views the Commandment of Control. I want to remove my training wheels and learn to ride my bike, regardless of scratches and scuffs.
 

whiz

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@racyred09 Sorry, the above quote was meant to be a much longer response and I botched it up. The main thing preventing me is the old cycle of inaction. I'm afraid that an endeavor will unsuccessful, and therefore I don't take action. Which wastes time, which is the thing I feared in the first place.

I recognize the irrationalities of this thinking and I've made changes to myself recently. I just don't want to be in a relationship for multiple reasons. I'm just tired of being validated for being a mental masturbator.
 

whiz

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Amen dude. Literally today left a relationship for the same reasons. It was hard but when I was driving away, I felt very light in my chest and I knew it was the right thing.

It's not gonna be pleasant or easy but the fact that you're even posting this tells me you should. Of course I don't know your relationship.

Good luck brother!
Thanks. How was your relationship? We have a very good relationship and we have always been open that if we were to cut it off, we would do it respectfully. This does not change the pain that I fear though.

I feel like I need to cut it off but I'm afraid of severing the umbilical cord because I do not fully have confidence in myself. This is where my mind is right now. I am internalizing the fact that I DO have the power to do what I want to do. My mother raised me as a dependent (duh, no baby survives alone) but I was never given the freedom to fail. Thus I grew to be reclusive and risk-avoidant. I never learned shit, and I transferred my dependency to my girlfriend and others. I am avoiding what I've known I have to do for a while.

I respect her like she respects me, and I love her. I don't want to hurt her, but I also don't want to be the framework of a man. I want to BE a man. My ideal concept of myself is unattainable with my current support structures in place. Breaking it off with her would be a huge risk for me, but every time I dig within and assess the "regret probabilities", I see myself looking back and regretting keeping the relationship going. I don't think I'll ultimately regret going my own way.

Life.
 
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whiz

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Are you just using her as an excuse for not taking action?

How bad do you want it?
I am using MANY things as excuses. My reasoning is to eliminate them, if possible, so that I can't even use them as excuses.

Kinda like how if you want to lose weight, you shouldn't leave a cake on the kitchen counter.
 

whiz

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Sounds like codependency and enmeshment. Even if you leave this girl you still have these issues. You need to get some help for this. I am guessing your mom might be the cause of this. Which is usually the source of boys/men having issues like these. You also need to take some time and DREAM about your life. Where is it you want to go? Who do you want to be? Get this rock solid in your mind, heart and soul. This will help you through challenging times. You will also recognize people and situations that do not aid in this path too and learn to avoid them.
Yes. I am co-dependent and it most certainly has to do with my mother. I am NOT blaming it on her. I make a point to take full responsibility for myself. This is the only way to change.

I really just want to be a good thing for the world, honestly. I want to provide joy to a large number of people. $$$ would be nice but it is honestly not the goal. There are LOADS of people with $$$ that I don't look up to at all. I would like to be remembered as one of the more creative entrepreneurs of our time, taking nonconventional ideas and applying nonconventional marketing to bring creative, new ideas to the world. I want to be someone who leaves the world a better place than it was when I got here. Or at least try to. That's where I'm aiming. To find out how I can achieve a positive impact.
 

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I am using MANY things as excuses. My reasoning is to eliminate them, if possible, so that I can't even use them as excuses.

Kinda like how if you want to lose weight, you shouldn't leave a cake on the kitchen counter.
You wouldn't have excuses if you took action
 
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NewManRising

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Yes. I am co-dependent and it most certainly has to do with my mother. I am NOT blaming it on her. I make a point to take full responsibility for myself. This is the only way to change.

I really just want to be a good thing for the world, honestly. I want to provide joy to a large number of people. $$$ would be nice but it is honestly not the goal. There are LOADS of people with $$$ that I don't look up to at all. I would like to be remembered as one of the more creative entrepreneurs of our time, taking nonconventional ideas and applying nonconventional marketing to bring creative, new ideas to the world. I want to be someone who leaves the world a better place than it was when I got here. Or at least try to. That's where I'm aiming. To find out how I can achieve a positive impact.
My suggestion, write your goals and values down on paper and review them frequently. Also, before you go to bed each night spend about 10 minutes (or more if you wish) dreaming about your future. And dream really big too. Don't worry about how it will all work out though. The point is, is to get you to think about it and want it. One other thing, and I may be assuming here, but you may be struggling with wondering how relationships will change in your life. One thing I fear/feared is that when I am in pursuit off my goals I may lose people around me in the process. This is where faith has to come in. You just have to trust that everything will work out. And whatever future Your life holds and the people in it will all be right. One of the worse things we/people can do is sacrifice our happiness, freedom and independence. You do not want to live in regret. When it comes to women you may think you may never have one like this one again. You may even think you may not find a woman who understands you or thinks you are attractive like this one. But if you can have faith and believe in truth you will realize you possess everything you need. You will be like a magnet for good things and good people. A woman will come to you. I tell this to a lot of guys. Don't chase women, don't try hard. All your great qualities are inherent and the right woman will come to you. Lastly, if you feel like the relationship with your mom is a little too enmeshed you will need to learn boundaries. You need to create some physical and emotional separation. Some moms have a hard time letting their sons go. They are protective of their son and the woman they date/marry. They feel they are being replaced by this woman and will no longer be the most important woman in their son's life.
 

WJK

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How can a relationship between two people be pure when there is dependence? If I can’t stand on my own, instead of learning, I grab a leg from another. Seems like a cop out, and it makes me wonder if this is what the majority of the married/nested population is founded on. Co-dependency.
I love my husband with all of my heart. I'm the luckiest woman in the world to have him. I go out everyday to wage my war out in that big bad world. My husband is my safe harbor where I return to recharge my batteries. He cheers on my successes and helps my bind my failure wounds. He's my best friend and soul mate.

Think before you throw away your relationship.
 

jlwilliams

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You recognize that your current comfort is making you soft and inactive. That is a clear and powerful realization. Good on you!

Now.. you live with Mommy but you think that leaving a beautiful young woman who would move the heavens for you is a good first step? Really, bro? That's step one? You would leave her and stay in your childhood bedroom and call that manning up? I hate to sound like a dick, but need to hear it. Breaking this girl's heart won't make you a man.

Yes, you need to shake things up. That may or may not include ending this relationship. It should almost certainly include change of resistance. Now, Bob Kiyosaki gets rightly cut around here for some bad advice but he had one gem in the two dads book that may help you here. He said don't take a job for the money, take one to learn something that helps you. Maybe you should find work that takes you abroad. Spend a couple years in Europe or Asia. I don't know what you do or if you have found an entrepreneurial niche, but surely there is something to learn far away. Does your current gig transplant? Can you get a job doing it in _____ ? Cut the apron strings and get out there.

Now, if your girlfriend takes a job teaching English in China so she can be with you; not only will she grow as a person but (spoiler alert) she is The One. If not, well then you are both still better off than if you just dumped her to try something "new" without really doing anything but moping around your parents place. You recognize your need to break out of your comfort zone so that you can grow and be more. By all means do so. Maybe she grows with you, maybe you grow apart.

Ask your boss for a transfer, look for a job at least a thousand miles away, join the merchant marines or the peace corps, take a job fixing air conditioners in Belize. Any of those and many more are options for the young man without children. Step one is out the door of your childhood home into the world of your manhood.
 
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whiz

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5 years later. Thanks for all the replies to the thread.

Still with my girlfriend and now doing multiple million in revenue

I've learned that most of my issues, roadblocks etc are my own and it is usually not productive to try to place the blame on external factors - unless the logic is fleshed out and makes good sense

Reading the post brings me back to where I was and how I was feeling. Not great

I still have my 2022 problems but I'm better off than I was in 2017
 
G

Guest-5ty5s4

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5 years later. Thanks for all the replies to the thread.

Still with my girlfriend and now doing multiple million in revenue

I've learned that most of my issues, roadblocks etc are my own and it is usually not productive to try to place the blame on external factors - unless the logic is fleshed out and makes good sense

Reading the post brings me back to where I was and how I was feeling. Not great

I still have my 2022 problems but I'm better off than I was in 2017
That's great. I would love to hear more about how this has gone for you - especially your relationship, and the business you grew that has millions in revenue!
 

whiz

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That's great. I would love to hear more about how this has gone for you - especially your relationship, and the business you grew that has millions in revenue!
Business model is called Pay Per Call

Short: I advertise home services online, I urge visitors to call to connect to a professional/company to solve their problem

When they call, their call is routed to Xyz Plumbing, Bob's HVAC etc

I get paid when call meets a certain criteria. i.e. Phone call duration > 90 seconds, caller has relevant request or issue (subjective...)

I get paid per call, hence the business model name

Let's say my general advertising costs are $20 (arbitrary) to yield a phone call... and each phone call pays me $30, then I make $10 a call

As long as advertising costs < payout... profit

Relationship is day by day - an effort like all valuable things

We live together now and have a cat and dog... dog is a lot more work than I thought it would be... fortunately I have a lot of free time since business model is 95% automated

Currently my head is at: what do I do with my money... to not only survive but thrive in the coming years. This gets me thinking about other business models and ways to spend my time in a meaningful manner
 
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