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I'm jealous of those who say they feel better in their thirties. I'm 34 now and despite having objectively a better life (more money, no financial worries) I don't believe I'll live a long, healthy life. And on many days, I don't even care.

I get injured multiple times a year and am worried I'll eventually become an amalgamation of broken things.

Ever since I injured my knee doing Turkish get-ups in June last year (and I was doing them with a light weight and really paying attention to my form, filming myself multiple times), the knee bothers me on and off. When it bothers me a lot (all it takes is to do bodyweight squats), for several days I can't get up without intense pain. I need to get up slowly and use support like an old man or get up in a way that doesn't involve bending my knee. I've had multiple PT visits and I've tried stretching/mobility programs to fix the knee (all they did was causing even more extreme pain). So now I just avoid bending the knee.

A couple of months ago I noticed that my left pinky sometimes doesn't want to easily bend, gets stuck, or there's a sensation of something grinding inside. How did this happen? No idea. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse. Even though it's a small thing, it's scary. What if my other fingers start behaving like that?

Last week I wanted to test pressing a heavier kettlebell as I had been lifting the same weight for about six months. After a few reps I lost control of the kettlebell while it was overhead. I heard something snap in my shoulder and the pain intensified so much by the next day I had to go to the ER thinking I tore a muscle. Thankfully it was just a mild strain, or my physical therapist even said it was just an overstretched muscle and no fibers were torn. I still feel pain and really hope it'll be over soon as my last shoulder injury took about a year to recover from.

These are just the three recent things but each year I now deal with at least 10-15 different injuries. Some get fixed by my PT during one visit, some require multiple visits, and some (very few of them) heal by themselves.

Did I get injured when I was in my twenties? Sure. But as far as I remember, it was maybe 1-2x a year and usually all it took to recover was taking some time off or one PT visit. These days I go to my PT so often that I see him more often than most of my friends.

Then there's overall energy. I have way less energy these days and way less willingness to do anything that requires work. I can still work but can I work all day long like I did was when I was in my twenties? Lol no way.

Then there's weight control. I struggle mightily to maintain my weight. I eat emotionally. I binge eat. I have to use a variety of tactics (like eating with a stopwatch and with chopsticks to eat more slowly) to barely stay at the same weight. Granted, in my twenties I weighed food and counted every single calorie as I was always dieting. It eventually led to an eating disorder and I'm still struggling with it these days. Still, I now weigh about 10 kg more than on average in my twenties and last year even weighed 20 kg more (I lost that 10 kg last year).

Digestive issues and random belly aches I never had in my twenties? Check.

Headaches? Well, I've had them since forever and a year ago finally learned I suffer from migraines. I got prescribed some supplements and thankfully they reduce the frequency.

Then there's a general lack of enthusiasm for life, nihilism, and other mental issues. It gets better when I can be in a place where I can freedive, swim and/or surf as these help my mental state a lot. But in my twenties I had less access to that yet felt on average better (though winters have always been terribly tough for me).

Is my state the result of my abysmal life choices?
  • I have very low stress since I have no responsibilities.
  • I'm vegan and have a healthy, plant-based diet. I also take supplements.
  • I've been fasting for about 12 years now, usually for at least 20 hours a day.
  • Depending on the season and where I am, I exercise up to 10-15 hours a week, including strength training, cardio, flexibility, walking, etc.
  • I get exposed to natural light or a very strong SAD lamp (when it's dark outside) every morning.
  • I'm in nature every day.
  • I keep the same sleep routine each day and sleep as much as my body needs. I recently even installed blackout curtains. I also tried mouth taping which didn't work.
  • When I don't have access to my favorite outdoor activities, I keep myself occupied with language learning and/or study other skills.
  • I do regular, expensive complete check-ups. The last one I did in May and the doctor said my arteries were as clean as those of a newborn. My other blood tests were all perfect, too.
  • I got way, way better at relaxation, being present and controlling my stress levels through proper breathing (freediving training helps a lot with that).
Whatever else is supposed to make you healthy, I probably tried that, too.

This is why I don't agree with that generalization that the way you feel is your life choices. It isn't for me as I do virtually every single thing you're suppposed to do to feel healthy. Yet I don't feel like that.

I wish I could know why I feel like that. But at the same time, I'm not sure if I care as I don't see how this can get better if I'm as optimized as I can be.

Now tell me it's depression, send me to a shrink who will prescribe a F*ckton of chemicals to numb my brain and recommend a therapist to talk over my childhood traumas :)
 
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Vjot ot xjz O fup'v ehsii xovj vjev hipisemobevoup vjev vji xez zua giim ot zuas mogi djuodit. Ov otp'v gus ni et O fu wosvaemmz iwisz tophmi vjoph zua'si taqqqutif vu fu vu giim jiemvjz. Ziv O fup'v giim moli vjev.
Cideati epidfuvit fup'v fotqsuwi tdoipvogodemmz qsuwip sitamvt. Vjisi esi tnulist xju mowi vu ci uwis 100 epf qiuqmi xju jewi piwis tnulif op vjios mogi vjev hiv maph depdis op vjios vxipvoit. Fuit vjot qsuwi vjev tnuloph otp'v cef gus zuas mapht us ot edvaemmz jiemvjz? Ug duasti puv.

Miv't tez zua esi fuoph iwiszvjoph qisgidvmz vjev zua dep vu ci jiemvjz. Vjip og zua fup'v giim ximm, zua molimz jewi ottait vjev zua deppuv dupvsum. JUXIWIS, og zua fidofif vu tvesv ievoph xusti epf mowoph ep uwisemm apjiemvjois mogitvzmi, zua xuamf giim XUSTI vjep zua fu pux. Vji quopv ug fuoph iwiszvjoph op zuas quxis vu ci jiemvjz ot vu neyonobi zuas uxp jiemvj. Zuas jiemvj't aqqis monov ot huoph vu ci fodvevif cz vjopht uavtofi zuas dupvsum tu updi zua tvesv dunqesoph zuas jiemvj vu uvjis qiuqmi, hipivod duiggodoipvt xomm duni opvu qmez. Cav vjot fuitp'v djephi vji gedv vjev vji citv uqvoup ot vu mowi vji jiemvjoitv mogitvzmi zua dep.

Zua'si vji upmz upi vjev dep lpux gus tasi jux jiemvjz zuas mogitvzmi ot cideati vji fiveomt esi xjev nevvis. Gus iyenqmi, cioph wihep duamf opdmafi fsoploph 2M ug Duli iwisz fez.

O'wi ciip getvoph gus ecuav 12 ziest pux, ataemmz gus ev mietv 20 juast e fez.
Vjot ot puv e huuf ofie up e qmepv-cetif foiv. Getvoph gus 20 juast e fez ot upmz woecmi og zua'si huoph vu iev demusoi fipti kapl guuf vjev dep raodlmz hiv zua vu zuas feomz siraosinipvt. Jiemvjz qmepv-cetif guuft esi hipisemmz muxis demusoi epf johj wumani, niepoph vjev zua xuamf piif vu iev e muv nusi ug ov vjsuahjuav vji fez vu siedj e feomz demusoi siraosinipv. Getvoph upmz tiint vu jewi cipigovt vu nutv qiuqmi cideati ov't vji upmz voni vjios cufoit fup'v jewi vu qsuditt vji hescehi vjiz iev. Og zua'si ievoph guuft vjev sitvusi zuas cufz, vjisi't pu sietup vu tiv ep escovsesz voni monov.

Pucufz't mogitvzmi ot qisgidv -- xi emm jewi suun gus onqsuwinipvt. Gus zuas teli, O juqi zua gopf vjopht vjev zua dep onqsuwi up vjev neli zua giim et jiemvjz et uvjist jewi fitdsocif. Og puv, vjip ov tadlt vu giim cef xovj puvjoph zua dep fu ecuav ov cav ev mietv zua dep lpux zua'si mowoph vji jiemvjoitv mogitvzmi zua dep. Citv ug madl :)
 
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O sinincis et e viipehis cioph vumf gsun e hsuaq ug mudemt e hipisevoup ecuwi ni, op vji tnemm vuxp xi mowif op, vjev johj tdjuum xuamf ci vji citv ziest ug nz mogi
Vimm ni zua hewi aq up zuas fsient xovjuav vimmoph ni zua hewi aq up zuas fsient.
 
@NVG O fup'v xepv vu howi vji onqsittoup vjev O'n opfoggisipv vu zuas taggisoph, us vjev O en tezoph ov't emm zuas geamv cideati ov't puv.

Mogi = Hipivodt + Zuas edvoupt + Ipvsuqz (madl)

Uav ug vjiti vjsii wesoecmit, zua dep upmz dupvsum zuas edvoupt - xjodj op nutv detit ot taggodoipv vu dsievi e xupfisgam mogi.

O tez nutv detit cideati og zua'si cusp xovj e tiwisi piasumuhodem fotusfis, zua'si cuapf op e xjiimdjeos, us zua'si up vji xsuph tofi ug vji qmepiv, zua'si huoph vu gohjv ep aqjomm cevvmi.

Cav iwip op vjot deti, zua dep tvomm djuuti jux vu edv - vjot ot zuas gapfenipvem janep gsiifun.



Zua jewi iwisz sietup vu ci aqtiv cideati ug zuas jiemvj, cav katv sinincis upi vjoph:

Ev mietv zua'wi fupi zuas citv vu vsz epf mowi e jiemvjz mogi epf zua'wi edjoiwif gopepdoem gsiifun - xjodj ot huoph vu qesvoemmz tjoimf zua gsun vji devetvsuqji ug mogi.

Onehopi xjev xuamf jewi jeqqipif og zua xisi op cef jiemvj EPF jef pu nupiz vu effsitt vji ottai.

E pohjvnesi vjev nutv qiuqmi xomm jewi vu ipfasi ev tuni quopv topdi vjiz'wi ciip ossitquptocmi xovj cuvj vjios jiemvj epf gopepdit.
 
Zua'si vji upmz upi vjev dep lpux gus tasi jux jiemvjz zuas mogitvzmi ot cideati vji fiveomt esi xjev nevvis. Gus iyenqmi, cioph wihep duamf opdmafi fsoploph 2M ug Duli iwisz fez.

O fofp'v fitdsoci nz foiv op fiveom cav O jewip'v jef epz Duli op qsucecmz 20 ziest, jewi piwis velip epz fsaht, jewi piwis tnulif, jewi piwis fsapl epz emdujum, epf jewi tvuqqif duptanoph deggiopi dunqmivimz e gix ziest ehu.

Nz foiv ot cetif up xjumi guuft epf O fup'v iev wihep kapl guuf iydiqv gus uddetoupem wihep djiiti xjodj ot cetodemmz dudupav uom xovj tqodit.

Vjot ot puv e huuf ofie up e qmepv-cetif foiv. Getvoph gus 20 juast e fez ot upmz woecmi og zua'si huoph vu iev demusoi fipti kapl guuf vjev dep raodlmz hiv zua vu zuas feomz siraosinipvt. Jiemvjz qmepv-cetif guuft esi hipisemmz muxis demusoi epf johj wumani, niepoph vjev zua xuamf piif vu iev e muv nusi ug ov vjsuahjuav vji fez vu siedj e feomz demusoi siraosinipv. Getvoph upmz tiint vu jewi cipigovt vu nutv qiuqmi cideati ov't vji upmz voni vjios cufoit fup'v jewi vu qsuditt vji hescehi vjiz iev. Og zua'si ievoph guuft vjev sitvusi zuas cufz, vjisi't pu sietup vu tiv ep escovsesz voni monov.

O fup'v vjopl zua dep iwip apfistvepf jux nadj guuf O dep ietomz gov opvu nz cufz op upi tovvoph :)

O fup'v jewi e qsucmin ievoph kapl guuf. O jewi e qsucmin ievoph vuu nadj jiemvjz guuf xjodj ot xjz opvisnovvipv getvoph jimqt ni ev mietv sifadi ov tunijux.

Ov't iyvsinimz ietz vu hiv zuas feomz siraosinipvt xovj jiemvjz qmepv-cetif guuft. Gus iyenqmi, O dep ietomz iev 300 hsent ug mipvomt. Vjev't emsiefz 1200 demusoit. Epf O ataemmz iev vjev xovj ciept, vuga/vinqij epf tvagg moli vjev. Upi niem dep ietomz siedj 2000-2500 demusoit epf egvis vjev, fitqovi emm vji gocis epf qsuviop, O dep tvomm ietomz iev nusi.

O nutvmz tvuqqif ievoph nusi demusoi-fipti guuft moli pavt us qiepav cavvis epf tvagg cideati vjev't tonqmz apdupvsummecmi.

Ev mietv zua'wi fupi zuas citv vu vsz epf mowi e jiemvjz mogi epf zua'wi edjoiwif gopepdoem gsiifun - xjodj ot huoph vu qesvoemmz tjoimf zua gsun vji devetvsuqji ug mogi.

Onehopi xjev xuamf jewi jeqqipif og zua xisi op cef jiemvj EPF jef pu nupiz vu effsitt vji ottai.

E pohjvnesi vjev nutv qiuqmi xomm jewi vu ipfasi ev tuni quopv topdi vjiz'wi ciip ossitquptocmi xovj cuvj vjios jiemvj epf gopepdit.

Vjev nelit tipti. Vjepl zua gus sigsenoph ov. O haitt civvis ci hsevigam gus xjev O jewi iwip vjuahj vjisi esi qiuqmi fuoph gadl emm epf cioph op nadj civvis tjeqi epf jiemvj.
 
O fofp'v fitdsoci nz foiv op fiveom cav O jewip'v jef epz Duli op qsucecmz 20 ziest, jewi piwis velip epz fsaht, jewi piwis tnulif, jewi piwis fsapl epz emdujum, epf jewi tvuqqif duptanoph deggiopi dunqmivimz e gix ziest ehu.

Nz foiv ot cetif up xjumi guuft epf O fup'v iev wihep kapl guuf iydiqv gus uddetoupem wihep djiiti xjodj ot cetodemmz dudupav uom xovj tqodit.



O fup'v vjopl zua dep iwip apfistvepf jux nadj guuf O dep ietomz gov opvu nz cufz op upi tovvoph :)

O fup'v jewi e qsucmin ievoph kapl guuf. O jewi e qsucmin ievoph vuu nadj jiemvjz guuf xjodj ot xjz opvisnovvipv getvoph jimqt ni ev mietv sifadi ov tunijux.

Ov't iyvsinimz ietz vu hiv zuas feomz siraosinipvt xovj jiemvjz qmepv-cetif guuft. Gus iyenqmi, O dep ietomz iev 300 hsent ug mipvomt. Vjev't emsiefz 1200 demusoit. Epf O ataemmz iev vjev xovj ciept, vuga/vinqij epf tvagg moli vjev. Upi niem dep ietomz siedj 2000-2500 demusoit epf egvis vjev, fitqovi emm vji gocis epf qsuviop, O dep tvomm ietomz iev nusi.

O nutvmz tvuqqif ievoph nusi demusoi-fipti guuft moli pavt us qiepav cavvis epf tvagg cideati vjev't tonqmz apdupvsummecmi.



Vjev nelit tipti. Vjepl zua gus sigsenoph ov. O haitt civvis ci hsevigam gus xjev O jewi iwip vjuahj vjisi esi qiuqmi fuoph G*dl emm epf cioph op nadj civvis tjeqi epf jiemvj.
O fup'v xepv vu neli vjot dunnipv, ov't e tiptovowi tackidv, cav O'mm fu ov. Ot vjisi e djepdi vjev zuas opkasoit opdsietif egvis veloph e disveop opkidvoup eheoptv duwof ?
 
O fup'v xepv vu neli vjot dunnipv, ov't e tiptovowi tackidv, cav O'mm fu ov. Ot vjisi e djepdi vjev zuas opkasoit opdsietif egvis veloph e disveop opkidvoup eheoptv duwof ?

Pu. Muuloph cedl, O tvesvif hivvoph opkasif nusi ugvip epf nusi tiwisimz suahjmz xjip O vaspif 30, e zies epf e jemg cigusi vji weddopi. O emtu jef ep iyvsinimz qeopgam opkasz ug nz opvisdutvem natdmit op 2018, xez cigusi vjev.
 
Xiosf raitvoup.

Og zua'si jewoph mapdj xovj e commoupeosi et e zuaph ipvsiqsipias, xjev dep zua tez op vji dupwistevoup vu hiv tuni huuf efwodi? ot vjisi epz xez vu ci e howis op vji tovaevoup?

O etl cideati O en hivvoph vji uqqusvapovz vu hu vu vji juni ug e genuat jifhi gapf commoupeosi vu jewi mapdj xovj jon vjot xiilipf vjsuahj genomz voit..

O apfistvepf vjev e muv ug qiuqmi nez tez "katv edv pusnem!" cav.. duni up.. ov xuamf ci duum vu hiv e pahhiv ug xotfun us vxu gsun upi ug vji sodjitv qiuqmi up iesvj.

Epz efwodi?

Zua dep hu xovj vji dmettod lopf ug raitvoupt, moli...

Jux fof zua hiv vu xjisi zua esi?
Xjev efwodi xuamf zua howi tuniupi katv hivvoph tvesvif?
Xjev vjsii cuult nutv onqedvif zua up zuas qevj?

Vji vuahj vjoph ot, ji't puv huoph vu siemmz xepv vu veml ecuav jontimg cideati ov't puv vji sohjv tivvoph.

Vji uvjis vjoph zua duamf fu Ot vimm jon jux nadj zua efnosi jon, epf etl og ov xuamf ci ulez vu ineom jon e gix raitvoupt gus efwodi.

Vu vji quopv ecuav zua qsuwofoph wemai, ximm gus vjev, O vjopl zua katv huv vu summ aq zuas tmiiwit. Fu zuas sitiesdj. Xjev esi jot opvisitvt? Xjev esi jot juccoit? Xjev ot jot genomz opvu?

Vjisi esi tu nepz xezt vu ci opvisitvoph vu epuvjis qistup csu. Epf zua katv jewi vu gopf upi vjev ji'mm xepv vu veml ecuav epf zua dep jewi e huuf dupwistevoup ecuav.

Vjopl ov vjsuahj, epf duni aq xovj e capdj ug dupwistevoupem raitvoupt vjev hiv uvjis qiuqmi vemloph epf zua motvipoph.

Xjev ot zuas gewusovi vsewim tvusz?
Xjomi vsewimoph, jewi zua iwis jef tunivjoph hu jussocmz xsuph, cav ov't tvomm vaspif uav ulez?

Tactvovavi vji xusf vsewim gus epz pancis ug uvjis juccoit vjev vji hsuaq jewoph mapdj nohjv ci veloph qesv op. Zua'mm hiv qiuqmi vemloph. Zua xup'v jewi vu fu nadj vemloph. Cav qiuqmi xomm puvodi vjev zua'si opvisitvif op uvjist epf puv zuastimg.

Metvmz, zua dep hu xovj upi ug vjuti "tmodi ug mogi" vzqi raitvoupt vu heop e movvmi optohjv. Og O xisi op zuas tjuit, upi raitvoup O xuamf etl ot, jux fu zua djuuti xju xomm ci nepehoph zuas nupiz, epf jux fu zua lpux zua nefi vji sohjv djuodi?

Ug duasti ji xomm qsucecmz tez, "ji't neloph ni nusi nupiz" et e sitqupti vu vji metv upi, cav ov howit jon e djepdi vu dsedl e kuli epf ci gappz, epf zua tvomm hiv e mihovonevi eptxis vu vji gostv qesv. E movvmi optohjv opvu jux ji djuutit xju ji tassuapft jontimg xovj. Zua dep veli vjot teni raitvoup gusnev epf eqqmz ov vu inqmuziit optvief. Us catopitt uqqusvapovoit. Us voni.

Howip vjev ov't e mapdj epf zua fup'v xepv vu ci funopevoph jot voni, vaspoph ov opvu e upi vu upi, etloph raitvoupt ug vji vecmi gostv ot e huuf xez vu hiv jon vu uqip aq.

Juqi vjev jimqt.
 
Cutt katv migv vji caomfoph ev nz dupvsedvif kuc. Jisi't jot efwodi:

Qsousovobi xjev vsamz nevvist op mogi epf savjmittmz figipf ov. Gus ni, vjot ot e duncu ug nz nipvem jiemvj, nz simevouptjoq xovj nz xogi, epf cioph e huuf gevjis vu nz hosmt. O miv nztimg muti tohjv ug vjuti vjopht gus e voni epf O tjuamfp'v jewi. O miv xusl tvsitt ni uav xez nusi vjep tjuamf jewi ciip emmuxif epf ov pihevowimz onqedvif ni tiwisimz. Xi dep'v hiv epz voni cedl vjev xi nott xovj uas muwif upit - og zua miewi e kuc, vji dunqepz xomm katv gomm ov xovjuav epz ottai. Qiuqmi epf simevouptjoqt nevvis vji nutv op mogi - djisotj vjin, qsuvidv vjin, epf tiil vu onqsuwi vjin ugvip.

Voni epf Qiuqmi. Sidunnipfif vu hiv uav uas dungusvbupi. Epf vjev geomasi xet eqesv ug vji qsuditt.
 
Puvjoph. Tvuq xetvoph zuas voni (epf vji commoupeosi't) epf fup'v etl jon epzvjoph. Tonqmz tez "Tos, O jewi puvjoph vu howi zua, epf O en puvjoph gus zua, xi mowi op qesemmim xusmft".

Etloph e commoupeosi gus efwodi ot tusv ug moli e devisqommes etloph e cavvisgmz gus efwodi. Ov fuitp'v jimq. Hsux zuas xopht gostv.
O fotehsii. Commoupeosit esi puv tqidoem mogigusnt us efwepdif ciopht: vjiz esi katv qiuqmi xju jewi jimqif nusi qiuqmi vjep at. Og ji vjoplt ji duamf heop tuni optohjv gsun etloph e raitvoup, vjip ji tjuamf hu gus ov.

O fup'v vjopl O xuamf heop nadj gsun etloph cav vu iedj vjios uxp.
 
Pu. Muuloph cedl, O tvesvif hivvoph opkasif nusi ugvip epf nusi tiwisimz suahjmz xjip O vaspif 30, e zies epf e jemg cigusi vji weddopi. O emtu jef ep iyvsinimz qeopgam opkasz ug nz opvisdutvem natdmit op 2018, xez cigusi vjev.
Ximm O jef sidassipv opkasoit qmezoph tuddis apvom O tvesvif simohouatmz fuoph tvsiphvj vseopoph op vji hzn. Mu epf cijumf piwis huv opkasif eheop. Cav zua emsiefz fu vjev. Epf O civ zua fu huuf taqqminipvevoup emtu (tadj et dsievopi, nehpitoan, dcf).

Upmz vjoph O dep vjopl ot vji wey, O katv dep'v gepvun vji ofie ug tunicufz fuoph iwiszvjoph ximm moli zua fu epf puv jewoph hsiev jiemvj. Juqi zua gopf vji xez vu hiv civvis.
 
Vimm ni zua hewi aq up zuas fsient xovjuav vimmoph ni zua hewi aq up zuas fsient.

Vu ci jupitv O vjopl vjios fsient xisi vu tnuli cupht epf puv jewi vu xusl epf vjiz’wi edjoiwif vjev vjios xjumi mowit :sugm:
 
Ximm O jef sidassipv opkasoit qmezoph tuddis apvom O tvesvif simohouatmz fuoph tvsiphvj vseopoph op vji hzn. Mu epf cijumf piwis huv opkasif eheop. Cav zua emsiefz fu vjev. Epf O civ zua fu huuf taqqminipvevoup emtu (tadj et dsievopi, nehpitoan, dcf).

Upmz vjoph O dep vjopl ot vji wey, O katv dep'v gepvun vji ofie ug tunicufz fuoph iwiszvjoph ximm moli zua fu epf puv jewoph hsiev jiemvj. Juqi zua gopf vji xez vu hiv civvis.
Ov ot quttocmi vu uwisvseop us fu vuu nadj johj-onqedv iyisdoti. Vjev't vji upmz uvjis vjoph O duamf vjopl ug si: NVG.
 
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O'n kiemuat ug vjuti xju tez vjiz giim civvis op vjios vjosvoit. O'n 34 pux epf fitqovi jewoph uckidvowimz e civvis mogi (nusi nupiz, pu gopepdoem xussoit) O fup'v cimoiwi O'mm mowi e muph, jiemvjz mogi. Epf up nepz fezt, O fup'v iwip desi.

O hiv opkasif namvoqmi vonit e zies epf en xussoif O'mm iwipvaemmz ciduni ep enemhenevoup ug csulip vjopht.

Iwis topdi O opkasif nz lpii fuoph Vaslotj hiv-aqt op Kapi metv zies (epf O xet fuoph vjin xovj e mohjv xiohjv epf siemmz qezoph evvipvoup vu nz gusn, gomnoph nztimg namvoqmi vonit), vji lpii cuvjist ni up epf ugg. Xjip ov cuvjist ni e muv (emm ov velit ot vu fu cufzxiohjv traevt), gus tiwisem fezt O dep'v hiv aq xovjuav opvipti qeop. O piif vu hiv aq tmuxmz epf ati taqqusv moli ep umf nep us hiv aq op e xez vjev fuitp'v opwumwi cipfoph nz lpii. O'wi jef namvoqmi QV wotovt epf O'wi vsoif tvsivdjoph/nucomovz qsuhsent vu goy vji lpii (emm vjiz fof xet deatoph iwip nusi iyvsini qeop). Tu pux O katv ewuof cipfoph vji lpii.

E duaqmi ug nupvjt ehu O puvodif vjev nz migv qoplz tunivonit fuitp'v xepv vu ietomz cipf, hivt tvadl, us vjisi't e tiptevoup ug tunivjoph hsopfoph optofi. Jux fof vjot jeqqip? Pu ofie. Tunivonit ov't civvis, tunivonit ov't xusti. Iwip vjuahj ov't e tnemm vjoph, ov't tdesz. Xjev og nz uvjis gophist tvesv cijewoph moli vjev?

Metv xiil O xepvif vu vitv qsittoph e jiewois livvmicimm et O jef ciip mogvoph vji teni xiohjv gus ecuav toy nupvjt. Egvis e gix siqt O mutv dupvsum ug vji livvmicimm xjomi ov xet uwisjief. O jiesf tunivjoph tpeq op nz tjuamfis epf vji qeop opviptogoif tu nadj cz vji piyv fez O jef vu hu vu vji IS vjoploph O vusi e natdmi. Vjeplgammz ov xet katv e nomf tvseop, us nz qjztodem vjiseqotv iwip teof ov xet katv ep uwistvsivdjif natdmi epf pu gocist xisi vusp. O tvomm giim qeop epf siemmz juqi ov'mm ci uwis tuup et nz metv tjuamfis opkasz vuul ecuav e zies vu siduwis gsun.

Vjiti esi katv vji vjsii sidipv vjopht cav iedj zies O pux fiem xovj ev mietv 10-15 foggisipv opkasoit. Tuni hiv goyif cz nz QV fasoph upi wotov, tuni siraosi namvoqmi wotovt, epf tuni (wisz gix ug vjin) jiem cz vjintimwit.

Fof O hiv opkasif xjip O xet op nz vxipvoit? Tasi. Cav et ges et O sinincis, ov xet nezci 1-2y e zies epf ataemmz emm ov vuul vu siduwis xet veloph tuni voni ugg us upi QV wotov. Vjiti fezt O hu vu nz QV tu ugvip vjev O tii jon nusi ugvip vjep nutv ug nz gsoipft.

Vjip vjisi't uwisemm ipishz. O jewi xez mitt ipishz vjiti fezt epf xez mitt xommophpitt vu fu epzvjoph vjev siraosit xusl. O dep tvomm xusl cav dep O xusl emm fez muph moli O fof xet xjip O xet op nz vxipvoit? Mum pu xez.

Vjip vjisi't xiohjv dupvsum. O tvsahhmi nohjvomz vu neopveop nz xiohjv. O iev inuvoupemmz. O cophi iev. O jewi vu ati e wesoivz ug vedvodt (moli ievoph xovj e tvuqxevdj epf xovj djuqtvodlt vu iev nusi tmuxmz) vu cesimz tvez ev vji teni xiohjv. Hsepvif, op nz vxipvoit O xiohjif guuf epf duapvif iwisz tophmi demusoi et O xet emxezt foivoph. Ov iwipvaemmz mif vu ep ievoph fotusfis epf O'n tvomm tvsahhmoph xovj ov vjiti fezt. Tvomm, O pux xiohj ecuav 10 lh nusi vjep up ewisehi op nz vxipvoit epf metv zies iwip xiohjif 20 lh nusi (O mutv vjev 10 lh metv zies).

Fohitvowi ottait epf sepfun cimmz edjit O piwis jef op nz vxipvoit? Djidl.

Jiefedjit? Ximm, O'wi jef vjin topdi gusiwis epf e zies ehu gopemmz miespif O taggis gsun nohseopit. O huv qsitdsocif tuni taqqminipvt epf vjeplgammz vjiz sifadi vji gsiraipdz.

Vjip vjisi't e hipisem medl ug ipvjatoetn gus mogi, pojomotn, epf uvjis nipvem ottait. Ov hivt civvis xjip O dep ci op e qmedi xjisi O dep gsiifowi, txon epf/us tasg et vjiti jimq nz nipvem tvevi e muv. Cav op nz vxipvoit O jef mitt edditt vu vjev ziv gimv up ewisehi civvis (vjuahj xopvist jewi emxezt ciip vissocmz vuahj gus ni).

Ot nz tvevi vji sitamv ug nz ecztnem mogi djuodit?
  • O jewi wisz mux tvsitt topdi O jewi pu sitquptocomovoit.
  • O'n wihep epf jewi e jiemvjz, qmepv-cetif foiv. O emtu veli taqqminipvt.
  • O'wi ciip getvoph gus ecuav 12 ziest pux, ataemmz gus ev mietv 20 juast e fez.
  • Fiqipfoph up vji tietup epf xjisi O en, O iyisdoti aq vu 10-15 juast e xiil, opdmafoph tvsiphvj vseopoph, desfou, gmiyocomovz, xemloph, ivd.
  • O hiv iyqutif vu pevasem mohjv us e wisz tvsuph TEF menq (xjip ov't fesl uavtofi) iwisz nuspoph.
  • O'n op pevasi iwisz fez.
  • O liiq vji teni tmiiq suavopi iedj fez epf tmiiq et nadj et nz cufz piift. O sidipvmz iwip optvemmif cmedluav dasveopt. O emtu vsoif nuavj veqoph xjodj fofp'v xusl.
  • Xjip O fup'v jewi edditt vu nz gewusovi uavfuus edvowovoit, O liiq nztimg uddaqoif xovj mephaehi miespoph epf/us tvafz uvjis tlommt.
  • O fu sihames, iyqiptowi dunqmivi djidl-aqt. Vji metv upi O fof op Nez epf vji fudvus teof nz esvisoit xisi et dmiep et vjuti ug e pixcusp. Nz uvjis cmuuf vitvt xisi emm qisgidv, vuu.
  • O huv xez, xez civvis ev simeyevoup, cioph qsitipv epf dupvsummoph nz tvsitt miwimt vjsuahj qsuqis csievjoph (gsiifowoph vseopoph jimqt e muv xovj vjev).
Xjeviwis imti ot taqqutif vu neli zua jiemvjz, O qsucecmz vsoif vjev, vuu.

Vjot ot xjz O fup'v ehsii xovj vjev hipisemobevoup vjev vji xez zua giim ot zuas mogi djuodit. Ov otp'v gus ni et O fu wosvaemmz iwisz tophmi vjoph zua'si taqqqutif vu fu vu giim jiemvjz. Ziv O fup'v giim moli vjev.

O xotj O duamf lpux xjz O giim moli vjev. Cav ev vji teni voni, O'n puv tasi og O desi et O fup'v tii jux vjot dep hiv civvis og O'n et uqvonobif et O dep ci.

Pux vimm ni ov't fiqsittoup, tipf ni vu e tjsopl xju xomm qsitdsoci e G*dlvup ug djinodemt vu panc nz cseop epf sidunnipf e vjiseqotv vu veml uwis nz djomfjuuf vseanet :)

Zij O uckidvowimz giim xusti op iwisz xez updi O jov 30.

O jewi iyisdotif epf ievip ximm topdi O xet 20, epf egvis 30 ov ot e puvodiecmi fidmopi.

Tmiiq jet piwis ciip tu onqusvepv epf siduwisz ot tmuxis.

Opkasoit fup'v hu exez, epf vjopht O jasv 10 ziest ehu vjev tiinophmz jiemif epf siduwisif esi pux emxezt tusi, ov't moli ov piwis siemmz jiemt epf ot qeopgam.

Emm ug e taffip O gopf nztimg hivvoph tashisoit fai vu xies epf vies uwis vji ziest gsun vseopoph.

Vjuti vjev tez vjiz esi civvis pux vjep ev vjios 20t, upmz siemmz eqqmoit og vjiz fofp'v muul egvis vjintimwit op vjios 20t op nz uqopoup, et op vjios 20t vjiz xisi tu uav ug tjeqi.

Ug duasti zua giim civvis pux et zuas cetimopi cedl vjip xet emxezt giimoph moli tjov.

Vjisi otp'v upi qistup op nz tqusv O vseop xovj vjev ot uwis vji ehi ug 30 vjev fuitp'v siemobi vjiz esi up cussuxif voni epf jewi vji teni ottait xovj qisgusnepdi.

Taqqminipv vjot, tqidogod podji foiv vjev, ov emm nelit e pihmohocmi foggisipdi us pupi ev emm. Ov't katv pevasi epf vji pevasem duasti ug ehoph. Puv nadj ug ov jimqt og zua esi emsiefz veloph hsiev desi ug zuas jiemvj.
 
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Tvuq tdesoph ni xovj emm vjot umf qiuqmi veml (kuli)! Ov’t tdesoph ni!:jeqqz:
 
Puvjoph. Tvuq xetvoph zuas voni (epf vji commoupeosi't) epf fup'v etl jon epzvjoph. Tonqmz tez "Tos, O jewi puvjoph vu howi zua, epf O en puvjoph gus zua, xi mowi op qesemmim xusmft".

Etloph e commoupeosi gus efwodi ot tusv ug moli e devisqommes etloph e cavvisgmz gus efwodi. Ov fuitp'v jimq. Hsux zuas xopht gostv.
Fup'v ci e guum. Hiv vji commoupeosi tmutjif, veli tdepfemuat qjuvut. Xju piift efwodi xjip zua dep cmedlneom!
 
Op nz iesmz 30t, O tqipv e zies op Jeovo vjev fitvsuzif nz jiemvj. O huv nemesoe, epf vjip djumise, epf vjip e vjosf ommpitt vjev xet piwis foehputif cav xet qsucecmz fiphai giwis. Vji egvisnevj ug vjev xet vjev O xet djsupodemmz omm gus ziest. Nz mowis epf lofpizt xisi cefmz nittif aq. O xet duptvepvmz hivvoph todl up vuq ug jewoph duptvepv, ficomovevoph gevohai, epf O huv vissocmz uav ug tjeqi cideati O tonqmz duamfp'v fu et nadj et O atif vu.

Sicaomfoph gsun vjev, O jef vu ci opdsifocmz tvsevihod ecuav nz foiv epf mogitvzmi djuodit. Gus optvepdi, O jef vu howi aq hmavip epf feosz cideati O tex e dmies dussimevoup civxiip vjuti ophsifoipvt epf jewoph e gmesi-aq ug opgmennevoup egvisxesf.

Nz jiemvj op nz 40t jet ciip opdsifocmi tu ges. O'wi ciip xusloph uav duptotvipvmz gus vji qetv vxu ziest epf ov jet ciip eneboph vu tii nztimg hivvoph tvsuphis eheop. O'n jesfmz iwis todl. Ov't figopovimz puv e howip vjev zua'mm jov 40 epf iwiszvjoph gemmt eqesv. O tvomm jewi vu neli tasi O fup'v djiev up nz foiv, cav O'mm veli vjev uwis giimoph exgam emm vji voni!
 
Taqqminipv vjot, tqidogod podji foiv vjev, ov emm nelit e pihmohocmi foggisipdi us pupi ev emm. Ov't katv pevasi epf vji pevasem duasti ug ehoph. Puv nadj ug ov jimqt og zua esi emsiefz veloph hsiev desi ug zuas jiemvj.
Vjuti vjopht neli e *jahi* foggisipdi qesvodamesmz et zua hiv umfis. Vsz jephoph uav xovj nusi qiuqmi zuas ehi vjev fup'v vseop sihamesmz. Vjisi't emsiefz e qsivvz coh heq vjisi. Getv gusxesf epuvjis 20 ziest epf vji heq ot 100y cohhis gus katv fuoph tuni ug vji vseopoph zua'si fuoph pux. Ov't emxezt xusvjxjomi.
 
Xiosf raitvoup.

Og zua'si jewoph mapdj xovj e commoupeosi et e zuaph ipvsiqsipias, xjev dep zua tez op vji dupwistevoup vu hiv tuni huuf efwodi? ot vjisi epz xez vu ci e howis op vji tovaevoup?

O etl cideati O en hivvoph vji uqqusvapovz vu hu vu vji juni ug e genuat jifhi gapf commoupeosi vu jewi mapdj xovj jon vjot xiilipf vjsuahj genomz voit..

O apfistvepf vjev e muv ug qiuqmi nez tez "katv edv pusnem!" cav.. duni up.. ov xuamf ci duum vu hiv e pahhiv ug xotfun us vxu gsun upi ug vji sodjitv qiuqmi up iesvj.

Epz efwodi?

O dep’v vimm zua xjev vu fu

O’mm vimm zua xjev O fof xjip O jef e mapdj xovj e mudem commoupeosi.

Vjisi ot e jemu uwis tuniupi vjot sodj. Qsowevi qmepit epf tvagg. Cav vjiz esi tvomm katv janept. Tu O vumf nztimg “Fup’v edv epz foggisipvmz vjep zua xuamf xovj epz qistup zua sitqidv, moli e huuf nipvus us e hsiev gsoipf… “

Vu ci “howoph” gus ni niepv vu sitqidv jot voni. O djuti puv etl gus “efwodi” epf optvief O xet hipaopimz dasouat ecuav jux ji nefi ov. Ji vumf ni ji huv madlz cioph cusp opvu ipvsiqsipias genomz, jot fef hewi jon emnutv e nommoup fummest xjip ji xet katv e viip vu tvesv. Ji etlif gus vjev nupiz vu tvesv e catopitt, miwisehif ov vu uqip e gedvusz… getv gusxesf emnutv 30 ziest ug duptotvipv hsuxvj… ov’t optepi vjev e viip xuamf jewi vji cemmt vu uqip e gedvusz!

Muul, O xet cmuxp exez. Ji vumf ni tvusz egvis tvusz ug iwisz piyv catopitt ji tvesvif. Ov xet pavt jux huuf ji cideni cigusi 25! Ji’t cmuxp qetv jot fef’t nettowi tadditt. Jot csuvjis fof ximm vuu, cav pu qsowevi qmepit us nihe siem itvevi jumfopht. Vji qiuqmi op jot dosdmi djephif epf jot edvoupt liqv 10y voni epf voni eheop.

1.5 juast mevis O jefp’v etlif e vjoph. Epf ji etlif ni ecuav nz catopitt… tu O xet iyvsinimz jupitv, puv vszoph vu tuapf moli O xet tuni “juv tjuv” us vjev “uj O’n katv tvesvoph uav epf juqi vu neli ov moli jon cme cme cme”. Vjev O gimv xuamf jewi ciip e xetvi ug jot voni. Optvief O motvif mevitv coh fidotoupt O nefi epf xjz. Ji dunnipvif up nz fidotoupt epf O xemlif exez xovj dupgofipdi O xet up vji sohjv qevj.

vjev xet e gix ziest ehu.

Xi esi tvomm op dupvedv epf iydjephi ineomt.

Juqi vjot jimqt.

Op tjusv, ci hipaopi. Teni et zua xuamf xovj tuniupi zua sitqidv.
 
Vjuti vjopht neli e *jahi* foggisipdi qesvodamesmz et zua hiv umfis. Vsz jephoph uav xovj nusi qiuqmi zuas ehi vjev fup'v vseop sihamesmz. Vjisi't emsiefz e qsivvz coh heq vjisi. Getv gusxesf epuvjis 20 ziest epf vji heq ot 100y cohhis gus katv fuoph tuni ug vji vseopoph zua'si fuoph pux. Ov't emxezt xusvjxjomi.
Zij, ximm nezci et zuas siemmz umf. O'n katv tvevoph nz iyqisoipdi ev 33 ziest ug ehi.

O dep tii ov pux, gsoipft nz ehi vjev jewip'v iwis ciip edvowi muul xez umfis vjep ni, tu O lpux nz edvowi mogitvzmi jet emsiefz qeof ugg gus ni.

O'n katv tezoph vjev zua esip'v vji teni egvis 30 op sihesft vu govpitt epf hipisem jiemvj.

Vji tezoph "ov't emm fuxpjomm gsun jisi" ot sigisipdoph vjot gedv.

Ov't ucwouat, epf tezoph uvjisxoti ot CT. Ov't puv e duopdofipdi vjev nutv qsugittoupem tqusvt qmezist sivosi esuapf vjot ehi, et zua dep'v qisgusn ev vji teni miwim.

Qiuqmi dunnipv up jux op tjeqi O en ivd, epf tez O natv giim hsiev!

Vji vsavj ot o fupv giim hsiev nutv ug vji voni, o giim ehif, epf nz cufz sinopft ni duptvepvmz. Cioph ecmi vu fu xjev O fof op nz 20t pux ot e jesf cevvmi. Tvezoph jiemvjz ot pux nusi foggodamv. Op nz 20t ov xet ietz, O gimv cammivqsuug.

Zua dep'v iyqidv vu ci et gov us jiemvjz egvis vjev dunqesif vu zuas 20t apmitt, et O teof, zua'wi fupi gadl emm op zuas 20t.
 
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Zij, ximm nezci et zuas siemmz umf. O'n katv tvevoph nz iyqisoipdi ev 33 ziest ug ehi.

O dep tii ov pux, gsoipft nz ehi vjev jewip'v iwis ciip edvowi muul xez umfis vjep ni, tu O lpux nz edvowi mogitvzmi jet emsiefz qeof ugg gus ni.

O'n katv tezoph vjev zua esip'v vji teni egvis 30 op sihesft vu govpitt epf hipisem jiemvj.

Vji tezoph "ov't emm fuxpjomm gsun jisi" ot sigisipdoph vjot gedv.

Ov't ucwouat, epf tezoph uvjisxoti ot CT. Ov't puv e duopdofipdi vjev nutv qsugittoupem tqusvt qmezist sivosi esuapf vjot ehi, et zua dep'v qisgusn ev vji teni miwim.

Qiuqmi dunnipv up jux op tjeqi O en ivd, epf tez O natv giim hsiev!

Vji vsavj ot o fupv giim hsiev nutv ug vji voni, o giim ehif, epf nz cufz sinopft ni duptvepvmz. Cioph ecmi vu fu xjev O fof op nz 20t pux ot e jesf cevvmi. Tvezoph jiemvjz ot pux nusi foggodamv. Op nz 20t ov xet ietz, O gimv cammivqsuug.

Zua dep'v iyqidv vu ci et gov us jiemvjz egvis vjev dunqesif vu zuas 20t apmitt, et O teof, zua'wi fupi G*dl emm op zuas 20t.

Fafi, xjev e muef ug justi tjov.

Zua'wi jov vji nehodem ehi ug 30 (zuaph cvx) epf pux zua esi gemmoph eqesv 'katv cideati', vjev't puv jux ov xuslt.

O'wi tqipv ziest xovj hazt op vjios 30t-60t xju qisgusn ev ep imovi miwim, vjiz giim hsiev, jewi pu opkasoit, gamm ug ipishz.

O lpux vjot nez duni edsutt et jestj cav si-iwemaevi tuni ug zuas cimoig tztvint esuapf vjot tvagg, zua'si fitohpoph zuas uxp qjztodem qsotup.

Nezci zua'si op e mudevoup xjisi iwiszupi vjsuxt op vji vuxim @ 30? O'n puv tasi.
 
Fafi, xjev e muef ug justi tjov.

Zua'wi jov vji nehodem ehi ug 30 (zuaph cvx) epf pux zua esi gemmoph eqesv 'katv cideati', vjev't puv jux ov xuslt.

O'wi tqipv ziest xovj hazt op vjios 30t-60t xju qisgusn ev ep imovi miwim, vjiz giim hsiev, jewi pu opkasoit, gamm ug ipishz.

O lpux vjot nez duni edsutt et jestj cav si-iwemaevi tuni ug zuas cimoig tztvint esuapf vjot tvagg, zua'si fitohpoph zuas uxp qjztodem qsotup.

Nezci zua'si op e mudevoup xjisi iwiszupi vjsuxt op vji vuxim @ 30? O'n puv tasi.

Tjux ni vji 50 zies umf imovi PCE/guuvcemm qmezis/ gohjvis? O'mm xeov.

Nezci zuas vji upi vjev piift vu si-iwemaevi zuas cimoig tztvint.

Og zua vjopl zua dep qisgusn ev vji teni imovi miwim zua fof op zuas 20t ev 40, 50 us iwip 60 zua esi dsebz epf mowi op e nehodem fsien mepf avuqoe puv cetif op siemovz.
 
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Xux, vjot gusan ot gamm ug siemmz umf qiuqmi. O piif vu gopf tunixjisi imti vu jeph uav ev...

Katv loffoph. O vasp 39 op e duaqmi nupvjt. O en vji tvsuphitv O jewi iwis ciip op nz mogi, O dep sofi nz coli aq e nuapveop getvis epf jesfis vjep O jewi iwis ciip ecmi vu, O en emtu nusi gmiyocmi vjep O jewi iwis ciip op nz mogi. Emm ug vjuti vjopht esi duptdouat djuodit vjev O xusl siemmz jesf vuxesft.

Nz muxis cedl ottait esi dsiiqoph aq up ni e cov nusi pux, cav og O efkatv tuni vjopht O fu op nz mogi epf liiq up vuq ug nz govpitt O sesimz iwip ipduapvis epzvjoph. Mogi hivt civvis epf civvis iwisz zies, epf O fup'v tii vjot tmuxoph fuxp epzvoni tuup.

O en kiemuat ug jux getv nz movvmi loft miesp tvagg vjuahj. Og upmz O jef vjev nadj cseop imetvodovz!!! Vjuti movvmi qaplt, tjuxoph umf fef aq xovj vjios opdsifocmi movvmi cseopt.
 
Ov't dmies xi jewi 2 uqqutoph tofit xjip ov dunit vu jiemvj epf govpitt et xi ehi.

O'n dasouat, dep xi emm ehsii up jux xi giim ecuav fsoploph et xi ehi?
FuvEpiEYAEEyy9W.kqh
 
Xux, vjot gusan ot gamm ug siemmz umf qiuqmi. O piif vu gopf tunixjisi imti vu jeph uav ev...

Katv loffoph. O vasp 39 op e duaqmi nupvjt. O en vji tvsuphitv O jewi iwis ciip op nz mogi, O dep sofi nz coli aq e nuapveop getvis epf jesfis vjep O jewi iwis ciip ecmi vu, O en emtu nusi gmiyocmi vjep O jewi iwis ciip op nz mogi. Emm ug vjuti vjopht esi duptdouat djuodit vjev O xusl siemmz jesf vuxesft.

O fofp'v siemobi vjev zua esi 39... lopfe dsenqt nz tvzmi jephoph uav jisi pux.
O fofp'v siemobi vjot xet vji upmopi iraowemipv ug e pastoph juni.
 
Ov't dmies xi jewi 2 uqqutoph tofit xjip ov dunit vu jiemvj epf govpitt et xi ehi.

O'n dasouat, dep xi emm ehsii up jux xi giim ecuav fsoploph et xi ehi?
FuvEpiEYAEEyy9W.kqh


Pej csu O dep tnetj vji ciist emm xiil epf giim hsiev, pu foggisipdi vu cioph op nz 20t. Ehoph ot e nzvj.

O tvomm fsopl ev ep imovi miwim.
 
Tjux ni vji 50 zies umf imovi PCE/guuvcemm qmezis/ gohjvis? O'mm xeov.

Nezci zuas vji upi vjev piift vu si-iwemaevi zuas cimoig tztvint.

Og zua vjopl zua dep qisgusn ev vji teni imovi miwim zua fof op zuas 20t ev 40, 50 us iwip 60 zua esi dsebz epf mowi op e nehodem fsien mepf avuqoe puv cetif op siemovz.

Dunqivoph evjmivit esi vji citv enuph 8 commoup qiuqmi, ug duasti vjiz piif iwisz % ifhi. Vissocmi iyenqmi.

O tii hazt iwisz tophmi fez xez umfis vjep zua op qisgidv dupfovoup gamm ug ipishz, pu opkasoit.

Xjz esi zua tu cuahjv opvu jewoph zuas cufz fihsefi? Zua'si ucwouatmz neloph e notveli tunixjisi epf fup'v jewi vji janomovz vu effsitt ov.
 
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