Moving out... to face myself and find a happier place

[smarty]

I have resisted this for a long time, thinking that "I can work from home for now to create a sustainable income and then move out". Doesn't work. Especially in a poisonous home environment.
That resistance to move out has killed me, kills my motivation every morning.

As soon as my father walks in at home, everything freezes, nobody talks to him. And I sure don't need an extreme egoist and a control freak in my life anymore.

Moving to a new city, to face myself and to find a happier place and leave behind this horror movie of the past.

You guys have been an inspiration to me the whole time during good and bad times. Thanks all.

Next chapter.

 

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[Digamma]

I have resisted this for a long time, thinking that "I can work from home for now to create a sustainable income and then move out". Doesn't work. Especially in a poisonous home environment.
That resistance to move out has killed me, kills my motivation every morning.

As soon as my father walks in at home, everything freezes, nobody talks to him. And I sure don't need an extreme egoist and a control freak in my life anymore.

Moving to a new city, to face myself and to find a happier place and leave behind this horror movie of the past.

You guys have been an inspiration to me the whole time during good and bad times. Thanks all.

Next chapter.

I feel you. Same thing happened to me. Toxic environment, constant nagging from people who think you should be doing what they say.
Nah, you're better off. I'm in the process myself.

 

[Charmander]

I think we are all on the same boat here...

 

[RBefort]

The one good thing about living at home is how cheaply you can live and have things provided while saving money. Is there any way you can avoid your father? Maybe when he comes home, eat dinner, then go to your room and do your own thing? Moving out is definitely a strong option, as this will clear your head of any distractions...understandable for sure. If you have the means to support yourself or still be able to work on your biz, get out quicker than quick.

 

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[Luffy]

If I become successful I want to support my family and take any financial burden off their shoulders so while I understand where you're coming from I hope you don't forget your family, I'd argue that there is nothing more important most of the time, unless they're being abusive you got no reason to hate them. This is aimed to everyone who sees their loved ones as toxic because of their own ambitions, that said I hope you find what you're looking for.

 

[Digamma]

If I become successful I want to support my family and take any financial burden off their shoulders so while I understand where you're coming from I hope you don't forget your family, I'd argue that there is nothing more important most of the time, unless they're being abusive you got no reason to hate them. This is aimed to everyone who sees their loved ones as toxic because of their own ambitions, that said I hope you find what you're looking for.

The fact that you love your family doesn't mean you have to like them.

 

[Luffy]

The fact that you love your family doesn't mean you have to like them.

You need to let go of that resentment or you might regret it someday.

 

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[smarty]

If I become successful I want to support my family and take any financial burden off their shoulders so while I understand where you're coming from I hope you don't forget your family, I'd argue that there is nothing more important most of the time, unless they're being abusive you got no reason to hate them. This is aimed to everyone who sees their loved ones as toxic because of their own ambitions, that said I hope you find what you're looking for.

I have video taped him making life threats 2 months ago. Today was another one (not on tape). What can you do when you have to deal with a psychotic father? Move away and build a better future for myself. I'm sick of this shit.

"If we assume that the opposites attract each other, then we have to accept that sometimes the best mother comes with the worst father"

I don't want to derail this thread into reasoning & complaining because that's pointless but just to give you an idea.

To anyone who is living in a toxic or abusive environment like this, do whatever you can to leave that place.

Most often that would mean to put yourself up for failure and that is okay.
I have the means to support myself for at least a few months. Ultimately I see this as a great opportunity to kill any excuses.

 

[Luffy]

I have video taped him making life threats 2 months ago. Today was another one (not on tape). What can you do when you have to deal with a psychotic father? Move away and build a better future for myself. I'm sick of this shit.

"If we assume that the opposites attract each other, then we have to accept that sometimes the best mother comes with the worst father"

I don't want to derail this thread into reasoning & complaining because that's pointless but just to give you an idea.

To anyone who is living in a toxic or abusive environment like this, do whatever you can to leave that place.

Most often that would mean to put yourself up for failure and that is okay.
I have the means to support myself for at least a few months. Ultimately I see this as a great opportunity to kill any excuses.

Yeah that's too much, you should leave even if that means putting yourself up for failure while you might have a chance alone you were certain to fail in your abusive home. Btw I have read almost 100 some pages of the book you told me about but I haven't purchased it yet, it was a great read but I've had life in the way recently.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Are you still in Albania?

I imagine rents are pretty cheap, so with all that going on it's clearly nothing but positive for you to move out and get on with your life.

 

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[DaRK9]

I made the mistake of trying to save bootstrap money by living next to in-laws (basically, not married though) who rented out a mobile home for cheap.

Worst decision ever.

My gf, who is a writer and I've just got on board with KDP and self pub gets constantly bombarded with the typical advice and naggings now. Go back to school, why doesn't he go back to school?

Totally not worth the money saved. Moving out next week.

 

[craig1928]

Done the same, booked a flight, 3 weeks later I'm in Thailand.

I'm all in.

It's sink or swim time.

Let's get to work.

 

[Digamma]

You need to let go of that resentment or you might regret it someday.

Thank God I have access to such a keen observer of human nature!

I have no resentment. I understand that just because I share blood with people doesn't mean that such people can't be just as toxic as strangers.

 

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[Ninjakid]

That's total bullshit with your father, man. The oldest man in a household should never be abusive and making everyone feel like shit. I hope he gets his shit together and sees his errors one day. But anyways, good for you for moving out. It's really hard to think clearly and be happy in a hostile household. I'm pretty sure you'll do just fine.

 

[smarty]

Done!
Today is day 1.
A small but happy new place.
It's time to work my a$$ off and I'm excited.
In the last few weeks I simply couldn't work while having a black cloud of worry thoughts in my head.

If you are still thinking to move out or not (and you have some savings to support yourself for 2-3 months, just do it.
The freedom to do what you want from a place of love is priceless.

 

[Napoolion]

View attachment 9381

Done!
Today is day 1.
A small but happy new place.
It's time to work my a$$ off and I'm excited.
In the last few weeks I simply couldn't work while having a black cloud of worry thoughts in my head.

If you are still thinking to move out or not (and you have some savings to support yourself for 2-3 months, just do it.
The freedom to do what you want from a place of love is priceless.

Awesome Smarty,

I will be moving out at August too. I don't have that much of toxic environment and I have saved some money, but time to remove the safety net away as well. It is only for the best.

Very nice job! Good luck!

 

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[smarty]

Awesome Smarty,

I will be moving out at August too. I don't have that much of toxic environment and I have saved some money, but time to remove the safety net away as well. It is only for the best.

Very nice job! Good luck!

Thanks & good luck too!

 

[Alche]

smarty your avatar made me laugh in your post even though they were serious. Its like saying I killed someone then ending it with a even though I know you are being serious.

But great thread I feel ya, my parents have come around a bit but there have been some massive arguments. Soon as I get my passport I'm outta here! sadly that will take about 4 months but its at least giving me time to save and hopefully set my self up really well when I leave.

But after all the arguments I still love my parents and if I had the money I would support them and help them retire. Its not that my mum doesn't want me to be an entrepreneur, she wants me to happy just doesn't believe I can do it.

 

[Mattie]

Sounds like a good plan to move out. I can guarantee you, you will do much better once you're out of the toxic environment and sure it may be easier to live under mom and dad's roof financially, but like you said, you don't get anything done, non-productive, because you're to busy and distracted by other people's drama. Probably the best thing that can ever happen as long as you're not putting yourself in another toxic environment.

 

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[ddzc]

View attachment 9381

Done!
Today is day 1.
A small but happy new place.
It's time to work my a$$ off and I'm excited.
In the last few weeks I simply couldn't work while having a black cloud of worry thoughts in my head.

If you are still thinking to move out or not (and you have some savings to support yourself for 2-3 months, just do it.
The freedom to do what you want from a place of love is priceless.

Awesome bud, way to go! Excellent decision.

 

[Timbonitus]

That's awesome. I still live with my parents, and it's not really a toxic environment, but I need to get out of the comfort zone. I have been wasting a lot of time screwing around because I know my parents are here to rescue me so I don't really HAVE to make progress. That needs to change though. I'm trying to save up as much as I can, and then I want to move out, found my own place, and force myself to get my shit together, or I never will.

 

[ZeroExile]

Well I'm still in High school but when it comes to domestic problems, I'm sure I have had the worse of it all in here if not close to it. From pushing, to fighting, to breaking people's stuff, calling the cops (more than 8 times) and worse. In other words, I need to move out but I don't have enough income to do so yet. Living alone seems like paradise to me, although it's taken for granted. I still have to focus on dual enrollment in college for my A.A so that does create complications. At the moment, it's still best to stay here and I have learned how to deal with it to the point where it doesn't phase me. I do expect to move out soon when I can afford to do so, the toxic environment I'm in is just more motivation for me. I know I will look back on this and probably laugh.

 

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[smarty]

smarty your avatar made me laugh in your post even though they were serious. Its like saying I killed someone then ending it with a even though I know you are being serious

However serious and hard something may look at the moment, I know I will laugh with it later.
Our mind likes to play this trick of "I have this very serious problem nobody else has". Nope.
Self-amusement is very important in any situation

I have been wasting a lot of time screwing around because I know my parents are here to rescue me so I don't really HAVE to make progress.

If you don't have a natural habit of "getting things done", you will need to put yourself in situations when you must do things. It's the only way you can really grow past some inner blocks (or at least that's me).

 

[smarty]

Well I'm still in High school but when it comes to domestic problems, I'm sure I have had the worse of it all in here if not close to it. From pushing, to fighting, to breaking people's stuff, calling the cops (more than 8 times) and worse. In other words, I need to move out but I don't have enough income to do so yet. Living alone seems like paradise to me, although it's taken for granted. I still have to focus on dual enrollment in college for my A.A so that does create complications. At the moment, it's still best to stay here and I have learned how to deal with it to the point where it doesn't phase me. I do expect to move out soon when I can afford to do so, the toxic environment I'm in is just more motivation for me. I know I will look back on this and probably laugh.

Sounds tough, but at least you channeled that bad energy by breaking things As much as I thought it wouldn't affect me as much, a bad environment at home puts a lot of resistance on many levels, sometimes anxiety to freely express yourself to people etc.
Just don't let the bad environment become your story and know that only a loving family is a real family, otherwise it's just a bad joke and you need not continue to play it.

 

[ZeroExile]

Sounds tough, but at least you channeled that bad energy by breaking things As much as I thought it wouldn't affect me as much, a bad environment at home puts a lot of resistance on many levels, sometimes anxiety to freely express yourself to people etc.
Just don't let the bad environment become your story and know that only a loving family is a real family, otherwise it's just a bad joke and you need not continue to play it.

Sorry for the confusion but I'm not the one involved in that, it's the people around me lol.

 

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[smarty]

Sorry for the confusion but I'm not the one involved in that, it's the people around me lol.

ah I get it, you're the wolf lol