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I've turned 22 two months ago, and I haven't established a business yet. Thus, I consider my experience limited, but valid nonetheless. I will most likely make mistakes along the way, but that's part of the process. So, whenever I'm acting stupid, please call me out on my BS.
So, about my background:
What do you do when you forcefully connect the links to gain knowledge of new principles, new values, and new modi operandi but ultimately do
nothing with them?
I had lost myself, and two years went down the drain.
Prior to all that, having been severely unhappy with my teenage self in high school and at at the lowest point of my depression I decided that instead of offing myself, "I'll try my damn hardest and that I'd see just how F*cking far I'd go". I began religiously working on myself. I pulled myself out of depression, slightly improved my social skills, then joined college, where a completely new world opened up to me.
I joined a student NGO focused on developing other students, and, as a side effect, ourselves, by improving their and our soft skills. I learned a lot about myself, about teamwork, about dealing with people, I've started to finish books weekly. I'd stay up all night walking and reading, and most important of all thinking, introspecting, more and more info started to click in my head and a foundation started forming. I've kept making similar observations to myself as what multiple concepts of this book lined out.
In February 2020 I had about 40% of the mindset down, all by myself. I had the needs figured out, I had planned scale, I even had the drive to start building my own. At the same time, I also had a core marketing position for a job we were supposed to hold. I gave my 200% at it and it ate a considerable amount of time. It had results, too, two weeks before the event I drove quintuple the traffic of previous years to our site! (But I'm getting sidetracked.)
Everything went smoothly, I wanted to finish this thing so that I could start working on my would-be side hustle that was supposed to turn into a business.
Three days before the finish (and starting) line, quarantine hit.
Everything stopped. No more uni, no more volunteering, no more self-development. I was devastated as I put my all into it. Nothing happened for a few months, I quit my plan, postponed my ideas, went home (to an almost medieval village) and let the days go by in a blur. In the meantime I tried "waking up the dead" within my organisation, trying to get meetings to happen and to get people on-board to not quit entirely. Six months later, still nothing was happening and I knew I had to do something to change my situation. I needed money, I needed the freedom to move about as I needed.
That currently wasn't the case because, due to the pandemic, my family could not support me unless I was at home with them as classes were online.
So, I gambled my time hard, worked my a$$ off, and as July hit, I was the brand new president of that NGO, overseeing 60 members (and a huge mess cause everything had to be rebuilt) and also, the new intern at some software company. I had what I wanted, I could help the NGO, I could support myself, and I could finally work towards my dream. I even had real nice results with the NGO. Activity was booming, and people were improving themselves!
However, I stumbled myself into lifestyle servitude. I needed to be in person to grow both myself and others's skills and to do my work as president, so I needed to keep my job no matter what.
My job sucked. Everybody was breathing down my neck. They were verbally abusing me. My own mentor was a monster. Two weeks after she left, the team remarked that for the first time there were no conflicts in years. My team leader, when I asked to be moved to 4hrs of work/day because of mounting exhaustion and productivity concerns, told me "You're 20 years old. If this isnt the age for you to be tired, then when will it be?".
So I persevered, gave it my all and sucked it up. I worked 80 hour weeks for pennies above minimum wage. Monday through friday, I'd work 6 hours, then afterwards I'd have 6-8 hours of meetings with different teams at the NGO. When those were done, I'd work on school and then for the entirety of the weekend I'd continue volunteering.
This happened week after week, for an entire year. I grew tired, I could do less and less as time went on, my self confidence shattered. I gained about 20kgs (45lbs) of weight, I'd grind my teeth in my sleep because of stress, and I hated my waking life.
Eventually, my responsibilities as a president ended, but by that time my brain was thoroughly fried and indoctrinated with the script of being an employee. I'd forgotten my dreams, my passion, and bought into the Slowlane as I was fighting my burnout. I job hopped from place to place as it took me about 9 months to overcome my extreme burnout, and I hit a job that's cushy, that pays almost triple minimum wage with benefits which I thought was pretty damn great.
Fast forward to two weeks ago, a friend of mine ordered TMF and told me about it. I started reading it too, and I could not let it go. With every chapter, my heart sunk deeper and deeper until the realisation that I f*cked up two years of my life by buying into the Slowlane broke me.
I know that all of this was part of my process, and I'm thankful that it happened, because I gained a lot of useful, valuable information and experience. I'm actually genuinely proud that I was able to manage and motivate 60 people to work for themselves, in an organized manner, for long hours a day even though nobody was paid a dime, and that the company representatives we worked with congratulated us for being more professional than their colleagues.
But at the same time, I hate the work week. I hate the advice that was passed onto us. I hate having to buy money with time. I hate the idea that this could be my life for 40 years, I hate the "standard" script of living, and I really, really, really hate myself for buying into the lie that is being a working class adult! With every fibre of my being, I desire change.
So, without further ado, hello guys! Nice to meet you!
I don't have a plan yet, as I have to give myself a bit of time to process what I'm going through currently, but that will change soon.
Oh, and, if some of you somehow stuble upon this at the start of your jorney too, don't do what I did. Don't postpone your vision. It'll cost you dearly.
We'll keep in touch,
Sphaat.
P.S The writing style may seem a bit melodramatic, but I'll keep it like this. I want change as bad as I need to breathe, and I want this intro to be a promise to myself, and something that brings me fond memories in a few years.
So, about my background:
What do you do when you forcefully connect the links to gain knowledge of new principles, new values, and new modi operandi but ultimately do
nothing with them?
I had lost myself, and two years went down the drain.
Prior to all that, having been severely unhappy with my teenage self in high school and at at the lowest point of my depression I decided that instead of offing myself, "I'll try my damn hardest and that I'd see just how F*cking far I'd go". I began religiously working on myself. I pulled myself out of depression, slightly improved my social skills, then joined college, where a completely new world opened up to me.
I joined a student NGO focused on developing other students, and, as a side effect, ourselves, by improving their and our soft skills. I learned a lot about myself, about teamwork, about dealing with people, I've started to finish books weekly. I'd stay up all night walking and reading, and most important of all thinking, introspecting, more and more info started to click in my head and a foundation started forming. I've kept making similar observations to myself as what multiple concepts of this book lined out.
In February 2020 I had about 40% of the mindset down, all by myself. I had the needs figured out, I had planned scale, I even had the drive to start building my own. At the same time, I also had a core marketing position for a job we were supposed to hold. I gave my 200% at it and it ate a considerable amount of time. It had results, too, two weeks before the event I drove quintuple the traffic of previous years to our site! (But I'm getting sidetracked.)
Everything went smoothly, I wanted to finish this thing so that I could start working on my would-be side hustle that was supposed to turn into a business.
Three days before the finish (and starting) line, quarantine hit.
Everything stopped. No more uni, no more volunteering, no more self-development. I was devastated as I put my all into it. Nothing happened for a few months, I quit my plan, postponed my ideas, went home (to an almost medieval village) and let the days go by in a blur. In the meantime I tried "waking up the dead" within my organisation, trying to get meetings to happen and to get people on-board to not quit entirely. Six months later, still nothing was happening and I knew I had to do something to change my situation. I needed money, I needed the freedom to move about as I needed.
That currently wasn't the case because, due to the pandemic, my family could not support me unless I was at home with them as classes were online.
So, I gambled my time hard, worked my a$$ off, and as July hit, I was the brand new president of that NGO, overseeing 60 members (and a huge mess cause everything had to be rebuilt) and also, the new intern at some software company. I had what I wanted, I could help the NGO, I could support myself, and I could finally work towards my dream. I even had real nice results with the NGO. Activity was booming, and people were improving themselves!
However, I stumbled myself into lifestyle servitude. I needed to be in person to grow both myself and others's skills and to do my work as president, so I needed to keep my job no matter what.
My job sucked. Everybody was breathing down my neck. They were verbally abusing me. My own mentor was a monster. Two weeks after she left, the team remarked that for the first time there were no conflicts in years. My team leader, when I asked to be moved to 4hrs of work/day because of mounting exhaustion and productivity concerns, told me "You're 20 years old. If this isnt the age for you to be tired, then when will it be?".
So I persevered, gave it my all and sucked it up. I worked 80 hour weeks for pennies above minimum wage. Monday through friday, I'd work 6 hours, then afterwards I'd have 6-8 hours of meetings with different teams at the NGO. When those were done, I'd work on school and then for the entirety of the weekend I'd continue volunteering.
This happened week after week, for an entire year. I grew tired, I could do less and less as time went on, my self confidence shattered. I gained about 20kgs (45lbs) of weight, I'd grind my teeth in my sleep because of stress, and I hated my waking life.
Eventually, my responsibilities as a president ended, but by that time my brain was thoroughly fried and indoctrinated with the script of being an employee. I'd forgotten my dreams, my passion, and bought into the Slowlane as I was fighting my burnout. I job hopped from place to place as it took me about 9 months to overcome my extreme burnout, and I hit a job that's cushy, that pays almost triple minimum wage with benefits which I thought was pretty damn great.
Fast forward to two weeks ago, a friend of mine ordered TMF and told me about it. I started reading it too, and I could not let it go. With every chapter, my heart sunk deeper and deeper until the realisation that I f*cked up two years of my life by buying into the Slowlane broke me.
I know that all of this was part of my process, and I'm thankful that it happened, because I gained a lot of useful, valuable information and experience. I'm actually genuinely proud that I was able to manage and motivate 60 people to work for themselves, in an organized manner, for long hours a day even though nobody was paid a dime, and that the company representatives we worked with congratulated us for being more professional than their colleagues.
But at the same time, I hate the work week. I hate the advice that was passed onto us. I hate having to buy money with time. I hate the idea that this could be my life for 40 years, I hate the "standard" script of living, and I really, really, really hate myself for buying into the lie that is being a working class adult! With every fibre of my being, I desire change.
So, without further ado, hello guys! Nice to meet you!
I don't have a plan yet, as I have to give myself a bit of time to process what I'm going through currently, but that will change soon.
Oh, and, if some of you somehow stuble upon this at the start of your jorney too, don't do what I did. Don't postpone your vision. It'll cost you dearly.
We'll keep in touch,
Sphaat.
P.S The writing style may seem a bit melodramatic, but I'll keep it like this. I want change as bad as I need to breathe, and I want this intro to be a promise to myself, and something that brings me fond memories in a few years.
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