The Entrepreneur Forum | Startups | Entrepreneurship | Starting a Business | Motivation | Success

feel like beeing pulled in different directions at the same time, all the time

Remove ads while supporting the Unscripted philosophy...become an INSIDER.

LFDY

New Contributor
Jun 16, 2020
8
10
13
Germany
Hey all,

I don´t know how where to start, so I will just start with my position I am in right now.
- 20 years old
- studying Information Systems
- working a shitty side job to make 450 euro
- currently building a little sidehustle

I feel like beeing pulled in different directions all the time. These are:

entrepreneurship -> I know for sure I don´t want to be trapped in a 9-5 job after my graduation
university -> my plan b, I need a final grade of 2.9 or better to be able to continue with a master, definitly want to have this option open
friends/living my best life -> regretting that I didn´t live my best life later?

I am confused as some in the forum say that you can manage all at once: have a nice social life and meanwhile work on your business and study. Then I reread Unscripted & TMFL and MJ clearly says that you should focus on one thing and cut of everything else. Also I am inspired by Alex Becker(dopamine detox, cut off distractions, quit caffeine, no fap..)The problem is when I have the flow and things start to work and I go out with my friends once drinking, every drive & focus is gone. I need minimum 3-4 days to go back to the focus I had before.
Obviously I am struggling to commit to one thing and just focus on that. But having constantly the fear of missing out "your best years" and instead try to focus and make sacrifices isn´t easy.

Anyone finding themselfes in the same position? Anyone seeing something I miss?
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

James Klymus

Gold Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Dec 28, 2018
315
1,096
357
24
Chicago, Illinois
Hey all,

I don´t know how where to start, so I will just start with my position I am in right now.
- 20 years old
- studying Information Systems
- working a shitty side job to make 450 euro
- currently building a little sidehustle

I feel like beeing pulled in different directions all the time. These are:

entrepreneurship -> I know for sure I don´t want to be trapped in a 9-5 job after my graduation
university -> my plan b, I need a final grade of 2.9 or better to be able to continue with a master, definitly want to have this option open
friends/living my best life -> regretting that I didn´t live my best life later?

I am confused as some in the forum say that you can manage all at once: have a nice social life and meanwhile work on your business and study. Then I reread Unscripted & TMFL and MJ clearly says that you should focus on one thing and cut of everything else. Also I am inspired by Alex Becker(dopamine detox, cut off distractions, quit caffeine, no fap..)The problem is when I have the flow and things start to work and I go out with my friends once drinking, every drive & focus is gone. I need minimum 3-4 days to go back to the focus I had before.
Obviously I am struggling to commit to one thing and just focus on that. But having constantly the fear of missing out "your best years" and instead try to focus and make sacrifices isn´t easy.

Anyone finding themselves in the same position? Anyone seeing something I miss?
I think you have analysis paralysis. I think so, because I've dealt with that, and still do sometimes.

I think you're worried that you may choose the "wrong" path and look up at 40 years old and regret it. You have, in my opinion, 15 years more of "youth", some would argue more, some would argue less. Ever notice how people in their 60's will call people in their 30's kids? It's all perspective.

Anyways, I think you're so afraid of F*cking up, that you're paralyzed and "unable" to act. And you know how you really waste your life? By being paralyzed and doing the same thing over and over. Never taking chances.

If you're out there trying, failing, and succeeding then you're living. If you keep doing the same thing you're doing until you're 40, then you'll really waste time away.

I was just talking to my dad today, hes in his 50's. He was talking to me about how he thinks to him self some times " Shit, i'm 55 years old, I haven't done the things I wanted to in life"

He's by no means a failure. He's unemployed right now, but was laid off of a mid $100k a year job. But it goes to show, you HAVE to be proactive in doing what ever it is you want to do, otherwise youll look up in a few decades and realize you aren't where you wanted to be.
 

fridge

New Contributor
Jun 4, 2020
8
10
13
USA
I can vouch with what James is saying. You probably have analysis paralysis (I do). The best bet to do is pick 3 ideas, research them a bit, then pick one of those things and do them. Win or lose, you'll gain some experience.
 

Odysseus M Jones

Your mystique.. it bothers me.
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Feb 2, 2020
522
1,019
536
50.4555° N, 4.4647° W
I'm going to go against what most people here will say.
If you want to enjoy your youth with friends, do so.
As long as you have the ability to generate income you won't starve.
You can't get back time or youth.
Fill your life with experiences while you can.

Take time to see the wonders of the world
To see the things you've only ever heard of
Dream life the way you think it ought to be
See things you thought you'd never ever see

Take a cruise to China or a train to Spain
Go round the world again and again
Meet a girl on a boat meet a boy on a train
And fall in love without the pain

Everybody needs love and adventure
Everybody needs cash to spend
Everybody needs love and affection
Everybody needs two or three friends

These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

Take a lift to the top of the Empire State
Take a drive across the Golden Gate
March, march, march across Red Square
Do all the things you've ever dared

Everybody needs love and adventure
Everybody needs cash to spend
Everybody needs love and affection
Everybody needs two or three friends

These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

Like fun and money and food and love
And things you never thought of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

New York, ice cream, TV, travel, good times
Norman Wisdom, Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee, good times

These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

Plenty of time to start a business when you've sowed your wild oats.

There, I said it.

View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ehYU6p3aIZQ
 
OP
OP
L

LFDY

New Contributor
Jun 16, 2020
8
10
13
Germany
I think you have analysis paralysis. I think so, because I've dealt with that, and still do sometimes.

I think you're worried that you may choose the "wrong" path and look up at 40 years old and regret it. You have, in my opinion, 15 years more of "youth", some would argue more, some would argue less. Ever notice how people in their 60's will call people in their 30's kids? It's all perspective.

Anyways, I think you're so afraid of F*cking up, that you're paralyzed and "unable" to act. And you know how you really waste your life? By being paralyzed and doing the same thing over and over. Never taking chances.

If you're out there trying, failing, and succeeding then you're living. If you keep doing the same thing you're doing until you're 40, then you'll really waste time away.

I was just talking to my dad today, hes in his 50's. He was talking to me about how he thinks to him self some times " Shit, i'm 55 years old, I haven't done the things I wanted to in life"

He's by no means a failure. He's unemployed right now, but was laid off of a mid $100k a year job. But it goes to show, you HAVE to be proactive in doing what ever it is you want to do, otherwise youll look up in a few decades and realize you aren't where you wanted to be.
Thanks for your answer! Really made me think about and also had a chat with a forum member this morning, which is why I will do the following:

I decided to focus on my studys for 4 1/2 weeks now till exams are over. After this I have 8 weeks of free time, which I then fully commit to business. Already got an good idea, which I will execute with a friend of mine.
 

Odysseus M Jones

Your mystique.. it bothers me.
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Feb 2, 2020
522
1,019
536
50.4555° N, 4.4647° W
I go out with my friends once drinking, every drive & focus is gone. I need minimum 3-4 days to go back to the focus I had before.
I decided to focus on my studys for 4 1/2 weeks now till exams are over. After this I have 8 weeks of free time, which I then fully commit to business.
By your analogy, it'll take 24 weeks to recover from 8 weeks of partying
 

Odysseus M Jones

Your mystique.. it bothers me.
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Feb 2, 2020
522
1,019
536
50.4555° N, 4.4647° W
Wrong, if you party 8 weeks straight, it still takes me 3-4 days to get back to focus. Nevertheless, don´t know what you want to say with your post.
That's good then.
No particular meaning to my posts, when a member has a dilemma & asks for insight, I'll try to offer a different perspective so they can have more information to consider their options.
Good luck with your exams and enjoy your break.
 

Odysseus M Jones

Your mystique.. it bothers me.
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Feb 2, 2020
522
1,019
536
50.4555° N, 4.4647° W
I'm going to go against what most people here will say.
If you want to enjoy your youth with friends, do so.
As long as you have the ability to generate income you won't starve.
You can't get back time or youth.
Fill your life with experiences while you can.

Take time to see the wonders of the world
To see the things you've only ever heard of
Dream life the way you think it ought to be
See things you thought you'd never ever see

Take a cruise to China or a train to Spain
Go round the world again and again
Meet a girl on a boat meet a boy on a train
And fall in love without the pain

Everybody needs love and adventure
Everybody needs cash to spend
Everybody needs love and affection
Everybody needs two or three friends

These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

Take a lift to the top of the Empire State
Take a drive across the Golden Gate
March, march, march across Red Square
Do all the things you've ever dared

Everybody needs love and adventure
Everybody needs cash to spend
Everybody needs love and affection
Everybody needs two or three friends

These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

Like fun and money and food and love
And things you never thought of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

New York, ice cream, TV, travel, good times
Norman Wisdom, Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee, good times

These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

Plenty of time to start a business when you've sowed your wild oats.

There, I said it.

View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ehYU6p3aIZQ
@ZF Lee yes wow :rofl:
I've been around the block a few times
2.59-11.66 times more than a 21 year old
PS are you from KL?
 

ZF Lee

Platinum Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jul 27, 2016
2,264
3,958
906
21
Malaysia
I am confused as some in the forum say that you can manage all at once: have a nice social life and meanwhile work on your business and study. Then I reread Unscripted & TMFL and MJ clearly says that you should focus on one thing and cut of everything else.
Well, there's no black and white solution here.

Still, I would focus on one thing alone, if I believed it could give me tremendous life-changing results, or even save my life.

Yet, there's other things like family and spirituality you cannot ignore, no matter how busy you are.
I've been witness to folks who literally destroyed relationships, just because of what they wanted, and it was not pretty.

So, by all means, devote more hours to one project, until you achieve a decent level of mastery, or are able to document its processes well enough to start hiring it out.

But not to the point that you end up with an empty emotional bank account.

Still, there's still folks who study and do business at the same time...
I'm one of them.

I do freelance copywriting, and study Finance and Business Analytics at the same time.
Which is F*cking tough, because ALL THREE areas need lots of reading and research.

How I got through it can be a whole thread post, but in short, I shortcut a lot of the processes by reading what's already there, and then improve on it.

For example:
(1) I had a Weka data mining assignment on hyperthyroid datasets.
Went to hunt Weka hyperthyroid data mining reports on Google Scholar, grab some nuggets and apply them to my report.

(2) Rush task by a client for quick emails and headlines?
Took a look at AppSumo emails, earmarked some key structures and angles (e.g. different layers of convenience) and wrote 5 emails in 30-50 mins. Was a hit.

The problem is when I have the flow and things start to work and I go out with my friends once drinking, every drive & focus is gone. I need minimum 3-4 days to go back to the focus I had before.
Obviously I am struggling to commit to one thing and just focus on that. But having constantly the fear of missing out "your best years" and instead try to focus and make sacrifices isn´t easy.
For myself, I prefer to socialise with older folks, who have some decent success in business or work- and upkeep their responsibility with family, church and society.

These kinds of folks always have lots of positive energy and nuggets to share, so every meeting with them feels like a good school trip.

And they generally have reasonable hours to network, even with you- since they are also working people themselves.

Try finding them from your local church, Meetup group (although you need to filter) or charity.

On best years...I think 'best years' mean something different for everyone.

'Best years' doesn't always have to be drinking with buds and girls (although it can be).

'Best years' doesn't always have to be working hard at a business.

I think if you have an idea of what to enjoy, you can try it out as long you don't risk your principles there. But what 'best years' is for you, can change over time.

Personally, I don't know if I've ever had a 'best year'. But as long someone appreciates me, and I can give value in some form, that'll do.
 
Last edited:

ZF Lee

Platinum Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jul 27, 2016
2,264
3,958
906
21
Malaysia
@ZF Lee yes wow :rofl:
I've been around the block a few times
2.59-11.66 times more than a 21 year old
PS are you from KL?
No. From Perak, the nearby state.

KL is just where I study and do much of my networking.

2.59-1.66 times more than a 21 years old? Nah...
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

Odysseus M Jones

Your mystique.. it bothers me.
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Feb 2, 2020
522
1,019
536
50.4555° N, 4.4647° W
No. From Perak, the nearby state.

KL is just where I study and do much of my networking.

2.59-1.66 times more than a 21 years old? Nah...
11.66, but you're probably right, you youngsters nowadays, leave us old fogies in the dust.
I've not been to Perak, how is it?
PS do you ever get down Jalan Alor?
I used to live there, it was colourful but in a different way back then though.
 

ZF Lee

Platinum Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jul 27, 2016
2,264
3,958
906
21
Malaysia
11.66, but you're probably right, you youngsters nowadays, leave us old fogies in the dust.
I've not been to Perak, how is it?
PS do you ever get down Jalan Alor?
I used to live there, it was colourful but in a different way back then though.
Excuse the slight thread derail...



Woah! You've stayed in Malaysia before? How long?
As for Perak, for those who hate cities, it's a great place.
Not too urbanised, not too rural, just right.
It has been earmarked as one of the best retirement places in Asia though, so you might run into more older folks there.

Perak has room to grow more diverse industries, but everyone still prefers to stick to Malay-speaking or Cantonese-speaking cliches in business networking..which might slow stuff a bit. In KL though, most meetups are in English, so we kick off very quickly.

Jalan Alor at Bukit Bintang? The market?
Haven't been there, but I've been to the classics like the Melaka Jonker Street and also the Ipoh night market.

Very lively and bustling- healthy for the heart.
 

Odysseus M Jones

Your mystique.. it bothers me.
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Feb 2, 2020
522
1,019
536
50.4555° N, 4.4647° W
Excuse the slight thread derail...



Woah! You've stayed in Malaysia before? How long?
As for Perak, for those who hate cities, it's a great place.
Not too urbanised, not too rural, just right.
It has been earmarked as one of the best retirement places in Asia though, so you might run into more older folks there.

Perak has room to grow more diverse industries, but everyone still prefers to stick to Malay-speaking or Cantonese-speaking cliches in business networking..which might slow stuff a bit. In KL though, most meetups are in English, so we kick off very quickly.

Jalan Alor at Bukit Bintang? The market?
Haven't been there, but I've been to the classics like the Melaka Jonker Street and also the Ipoh night market.

Very lively and bustling- healthy for the heart.
Sorry for the delay, thread seems dead now, we can't derail it further, in fact every post bumps the thread so more will see it.

OK la, yes I stayed in Malaysia about a year between 89 & 90. I was freelancing then, but sales & marketing in fashion.

Some of my claims to fame there, do you recognise any of the names?
Jess Teong, model, singer, actress, director
Yasmin Youseff, former Miss Malaysia
Douglas Chew, designer
Jalan Alor behind Bukit Bintang Rd, very seedy then, in fact the room opposite had a hooker & her pimp
Wasn't touristy then, but great food, midnight roti & teh tarik
Not heard of the other two markets but I've been to both Ipoh & Melaka

Malaysia's a great place, made some good friends

Do you know of the hijack of an SQ plane from KL to Singapore?
The Singapore special forces stormed the plane & killed all the hijackers.
I booked that in case I missed the earlier MH

I saw the news, looked at my notepad & thought wow

Good times
 

James Klymus

Gold Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Dec 28, 2018
315
1,096
357
24
Chicago, Illinois
You can't get back time or youth.
Fill your life with experiences while you can.
For what it's worth, i remember seeing @MJ DeMarco say in a post some where about how he wished he partied MORE in his college years.

Youth certainly is fleeting, You have time and you don't at the same time. It depends on what you want, some people want more experiences, and some people want more achievements.

It's my opinion that relationships and experiences are important. Some people will tell you to just put your head down and work, I say do both. You probably won't end up like elon musk or zuck if you dont put 100% of your focus into your work, but do you need to end up like them to have a fulfilled life?

It all depends on you, Some people are loners and some people (like me) need more social interaction, otherwise I get depressed. And you'll have to figure out where you lie on that spectrum and build your business/life around that.
 

sparechange

Platinum Contributor
Speedway Pass
Nov 11, 2016
1,907
2,604
665
Canada (Vancouver)
I'm going to go against what most people here will say.
If you want to enjoy your youth with friends, do so.
As long as you have the ability to generate income you won't starve.
You can't get back time or youth.
Fill your life with experiences while you can.

Take time to see the wonders of the world
To see the things you've only ever heard of
Dream life the way you think it ought to be
See things you thought you'd never ever see

Take a cruise to China or a train to Spain
Go round the world again and again
Meet a girl on a boat meet a boy on a train
And fall in love without the pain

Everybody needs love and adventure
Everybody needs cash to spend
Everybody needs love and affection
Everybody needs two or three friends

These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

Take a lift to the top of the Empire State
Take a drive across the Golden Gate
March, march, march across Red Square
Do all the things you've ever dared

Everybody needs love and adventure
Everybody needs cash to spend
Everybody needs love and affection
Everybody needs two or three friends

These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

Like fun and money and food and love
And things you never thought of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

New York, ice cream, TV, travel, good times
Norman Wisdom, Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee, good times

These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of
These are the things
These are the things
The things that dreams are made of

Plenty of time to start a business when you've sowed your wild oats.

There, I said it.

View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ehYU6p3aIZQ
What a great song lol

For the OP, wakeup early and grind on your biz. Then in your spare time after important work is done you can do as you please for a few hours
 

ZF Lee

Platinum Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jul 27, 2016
2,264
3,958
906
21
Malaysia
Sorry for the delay, thread seems dead now, we can't derail it further, in fact every post bumps the thread so more will see it.

OK la, yes I stayed in Malaysia about a year between 89 & 90. I was freelancing then, but sales & marketing in fashion.

Some of my claims to fame there, do you recognise any of the names?
Jess Teong, model, singer, actress, director
Yasmin Youseff, former Miss Malaysia
Douglas Chew, designer
Jalan Alor behind Bukit Bintang Rd, very seedy then, in fact the room opposite had a hooker & her pimp
Wasn't touristy then, but great food, midnight roti & teh tarik
Not heard of the other two markets but I've been to both Ipoh & Melaka

Malaysia's a great place, made some good friends

Do you know of the hijack of an SQ plane from KL to Singapore?
The Singapore special forces stormed the plane & killed all the hijackers.
I booked that in case I missed the earlier MH

I saw the news, looked at my notepad & thought wow

Good times
Haha...thanks for the sharing!

TBH, Names all are new to me though, except Jess Teong .
If I'm not wrong, she was the producer behind 'The Kid from the Big Apple'

I only went as far as to watch the second film in that series...a good tale on how a young Malaysian girl raised in the US has to put up with Malaysian life.

Eek...not sure why History Channel didn't cover the SQ plane hijack lol.
(the national segments did cover good stuff like the Malaysian Arms Heist and Highland Towers disaster, instead of the seedy Ancient Aliens and garbage-collecting crap)

You must mean this:

Thank goodness it was a very successful rescue.
 

Odysseus M Jones

Your mystique.. it bothers me.
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Feb 2, 2020
522
1,019
536
50.4555° N, 4.4647° W
Haha...thanks for the sharing!

TBH, Names all are new to me though, except Jess Teong .
If I'm not wrong, she was the producer behind 'The Kid from the Big Apple'

I only went as far as to watch the second film in that series...a good tale on how a young Malaysian girl raised in the US has to put up with Malaysian life.

Eek...not sure why History Channel didn't cover the SQ plane hijack lol.
(the national segments did cover good stuff like the Malaysian Arms Heist and Highland Towers disaster, instead of the seedy Ancient Aliens and garbage-collecting crap)

You must mean this:

Thank goodness it was a very successful rescue.
Wow I didn't recall it was March '91, I was based in HK by then.

I'm almost certain Jess got her break by winning some singing contest. She was a model when I knew her.

And look, our thread derailing got the OP some extra advice. LOL

What a great song lol
Haven't been able to get it out of my head since I posted it.

For what it's worth, i remember seeing @MJ DeMarco say in a post some where about how he wished he partied MORE in his college years.

Youth certainly is fleeting, You have time and you don't at the same time. It depends on what you want, some people want more experiences, and some people want more achievements.

It's my opinion that relationships and experiences are important. Some people will tell you to just put your head down and work, I say do both. You probably won't end up like elon musk or zuck if you dont put 100% of your focus into your work, but do you need to end up like them to have a fulfilled life?

It all depends on you, Some people are loners and some people (like me) need more social interaction, otherwise I get depressed. And you'll have to figure out where you lie on that spectrum and build your business/life around that.
I saw that post too.
Everyone has their own values.
All we can do is offer different points of view.
Ultimately it's their life, their decision, they have to live with the consequences.
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account on our community. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.

Sponsored Offers

  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE Fox's Web Design Guide: Earn $100K this year (Yes, 2020!) and Go Fastlane
Hi guys, I repost here my old review with a small update : Feb 2020 : Hi guys, Just wanted...
  • Sticky
FEATURED! Introducing... WEALTH EXPO$ED, A Short Story By MJ DeMarco
Ah, I should've checked here to find out that it was free! Although, Amazon only charged $2 for...
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE Lex DeVille's - Advanced Freelance Udemy Courses!
Pick the one you need most. Some just buy them all. :D Loving your email sequence.
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE You Are One Call Away From Living Your Dream Life - LightHouse’s Accountability Program ⚡
Dropping a quick note in here to say... if you are on TFL, you are part of an elite group of...
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE Kill Bigger Incubator
I joined @Kak's business incubator in the first week of May. During our daily chats we uncovered...


Visit A Forum Sponsor
sponsor

New Topics

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Monthly conference calls with doers
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Top Bottom
AdBlock Detected - Please Disable

Yes, ads can be annoying. But please...

...to support the Unscripted/Fastlane mission (and to respect the immense amount of time needed to manage this forum) please DISABLE your ad-block. Thank you.

I've Disabled AdBlock