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INTRO Born in the Fastlane

josephsmith

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Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jul 4, 2019
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Hello everyone,
To preface, I read Millionaire Fastlane a few years ago and am currently reading Unscripted. Reading Unscripted reminded me that MJ had a very useful forum and there was no harm making a post to see what thoughts you all had.

To give you guys a bit of a background, I'm either cursed or blessed to be born into wealth. I have never once struggled financially in my life. I've never even held a real job. I'm ashamed to admit it . It's this shame which had me educating myself on business and eventually finding MJ's book(s). In my early 20's I had a sense of pride where I wanted to "make it on my own with my own business" and played at being an entrepreneur. But by my mid 20's it was undeniable that I didn't have the perseverance when things got tough and I got nowhere. I had no struggle, nor reason to struggle. I gave up. Every day the biggest disincentive to working was "what am I doing it for?"

MJ mentions not having to wake up to an alarm and doing things you wish to do with your own time. But I already do that everyday. As the only son I know very well I could just sit around all day and never have to work in my life. I never cared for material things and always lived rather frugally and spent most of my many hours of spare time reading, learning, exercising, in almost a monk-like asceticism. I have a home under my name and a nice car (all gifted by my parents of course), a wonderful girlfriend, but I'm dissatisfied. I didn't earn anything. I am a byproduct of luck.

This frustration at myself has left me at a crossroads. I'm not sure how to push myself into action other than subjecting myself to self-imposed poverty. I know it's truly a first world problem, but living a comfortable life unearned has been eating at me for far too long. I'm approaching 30 but I have no meaning in life.

I want to give entrepreneurship another go since I do remember that was one of the happier times of my life when I wanted to create something and worked at it, even though I failed and gave up easily. I just hope this time around I can find the mental fortitude to be able to push myself out of my comfort zone (both literally and figuratively).

Thank you if you spent the time reading, and for those who want the gist of it here's the TLDR; Spoiled kid wants to do something with his life.

What do you guys suggest? Any advice or opinions?
 

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mikey3times

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Do you get satisfaction in making somebody’s life a little better than before they knew of you? Helping people is gratifying and can create meaning. At least for me.

You have the benefit of being able to help someone without needing to make money in return. So do that. You can do something satisfying that doesn’t necessarily have to be a company in the traditional sense of the word.

Pay attention to what makes you smile and gives you a deep feeling of contentment and meaning. Do more of that.

What was the endeavor that made you happy? Why did you quit/fail?
 

Rabby

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Learn to contribute and make things better for people, and profit from it. There's nothing wrong with having an easier time than someone else. In some sense anyone here posting on the Internet has an easier life than someone. So don't wallow in it. We can all make the world better one little thing at a time, and you might have even more leverage toward that end. Do your best.
 
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josephsmith

josephsmith

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jul 4, 2019
11
20
14
Do you get satisfaction in making somebody’s life a little better than before they knew of you? Helping people is gratifying and can create meaning. At least for me.

You have the benefit of being able to help someone without needing to make money in return. So do that. You can do something satisfying that doesn’t necessarily have to be a company in the traditional sense of the word.

Pay attention to what makes you smile and gives you a deep feeling of contentment and meaning. Do more of that.

What was the endeavor that made you happy? Why did you quit/fail?
I actually spend one day every week volunteering with an organization that works with impoverished children. It's nice, but doesn't fill the empty void gnawing at me.

In my early 20's I went traveling around the world until I was sick of it. I've barely flown anywhere since.
I went through several short-lived ideas that would fail at execution when things got tough. At the start of any of my projects I'd be pumped up, but when I actually had to start committing to a proper schedule and putting in real work I would run out of steam. The memory which I'm most fond of was when I was around 24 years old and had come up with nifty product idea. I got to the point where I was visiting manufacturers in China but eventually got cold feet. I never went forward with it and shelved it. I think only a small part was fearing failure, and the bigger problem was that I was burning out even though I did what I'd now consider very little work. Before I didn't have any sort of stress or deadlines, and I suddenly loaded myself with a schedule. I had such a big safety net that I just drifted back into a carefree state.

I'd like to think I'm older and wiser than I was then. I'm definitely no longer as socially inept or physically unhealthy (I went from skinnyfat to fit). I did gain a lot of skills but I know I have way more to learn. I definitely feel mentally stronger now, but as Mike Tyson said: "Everybody has a plan until they get punched ." I just feel like I've never fought for anything in my life.
 

Rabby

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You need experience, and failed attempts are part of that. At least you have an idea why they failed. Maybe try working with a business coach for accountability and sanity checking... someone who has been a large organization CEO, or otherwise has the follow-through skills you need to learn.
 

Vitaly the Winne

Bronze Contributor
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Jun 4, 2019
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It sounds like you feel that you lack a real meaning in your life, going from project to project and experiencing different things, but always feeling that something is missing.

When was the last time you did something that time seemed to pass by and you didn't realize that you've been doing it for hours? That's a sign of meaning from my perspective.

Actually you're blessed being in a position where you can freely fail and get back up again, you've got to remember to allow yourself to fail, because that's where the experience building and real discoveries come from. Otherwise if you can get anything without really trying, what's the real purpose or meaning behind life?
 
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josephsmith

josephsmith

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jul 4, 2019
11
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It sounds like you feel that you lack a real meaning in your life, going from project to project and experiencing different things, but always feeling that something is missing.

When was the last time you did something that time seemed to pass by and you didn't realize that you've been doing it for hours? That's a sign of meaning from my perspective.

Actually you're blessed being in a position where you can freely fail and get back up again, you've got to remember to allow yourself to fail, because that's where the experience building and real discoveries come from. Otherwise if you can get anything without really trying, what's the real purpose or meaning behind life?
Thanks for the reply Vitaly. That's my struggle right there, finding the will to fight when I lack environmental reasons to. I guess my "F*ck This" event has just been the years catching up on me and looking back and having achieved nothing.

Frankly speaking, I don't really keep track of time much due to not having to work, but I do understand what you mean. I like learning things and improving myself, and have learned a bunch of disparate skills, languages, instruments etc. Hours can go by when I'm learning a new subject or skill. I always admired the renaissance men of the past who could do just about anything. MJ's words about people wasting time on video games and TV really spoke out to me because I also view the world in a similar fashion and try to be as productive as I can with my time. However, MJ strived hard and busted his a$$ to get to where he is now but I'm missing my own "hero's journey".
 

Boychamp

Contributor
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Jun 13, 2019
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However, MJ strived hard and busted his a$$ to get to where he is now but I'm missing my own "hero's journey".
I don't think you have to be missing your "hero's journey". Just because it isn't the typical journey we face, it doesn't mean it doesn't resonate w/ others who have had similar experiences. By the sounds of it, you're struggling with your "why". I think you mentioned it earlier, that it you'd get to a point and then just kind of wonder why you're bothering with it. I can't give you serious advice on what your why is, but I would try and focus on determining what matters to you. Ironically enough, it's something i've been struggling with A LOT recently (and I come from almost the entirely polar opposite life situation).

I also think it's important to not judge yourself for the position that you've found yourself in. You understand you're in a privileged position but the most important thing is what you choose to do. It can be selfish - you want to leave a legacy that is your own or prove you can do it on your own or it can be selfless - you want to help and impact as many people as you can (both totally hypothetical). It really just matters what drives you. My .00002 cents
 

Rabby

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A hero's journey starts when you decide to fight for something. It doesn't matter whether you crawl out of the swamp or step out of the ivory tower. It's the decision that makes the hero.
 

Primeperiwinkle

though she be but little...
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Whether you know it or not you are going through your hero journey right now. You’ve become fully aware of just how much real joy is gained from doing whatever it is your Self wants to do, ie. Not much.

The real fight comes when you tell your Self to stfu. Committing to an idea, a business, a person, a project.. that would mean sacrifice.

If I’m right your next step is as simple as making the choice to be more self-disciplined. Then, later, to love anything or anyone enough that you have to sacrifice your time, talents, energy, or cash to help it (or them) succeed.

Connections are forged when you stop thinking about yourself and start caring about others. You just have to decide what you’re going to care about first, while simultaneously having the faith that YOU CARING is actually really, really important. The way you love is needed in this world. The ideas you choose to act on, need to be accomplished.

Oh dude.. I applaud you for your honesty. You are not alone. Your post resonates with me quite deeply.
 

Vitaly the Winne

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Jun 4, 2019
103
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California
Thanks for the reply Vitaly. That's my struggle right there, finding the will to fight when I lack environmental reasons to. I guess my "F*ck This" event has just been the years catching up on me and looking back and having achieved nothing.

Frankly speaking, I don't really keep track of time much due to not having to work, but I do understand what you mean. I like learning things and improving myself, and have learned a bunch of disparate skills, languages, instruments etc. Hours can go by when I'm learning a new subject or skill. I always admired the renaissance men of the past who could do just about anything. MJ's words about people wasting time on video games and TV really spoke out to me because I also view the world in a similar fashion and try to be as productive as I can with my time. However, MJ strived hard and busted his a$$ to get to where he is now but I'm missing my own "hero's journey".
It sounds like you're passionate about learning. Have you ever looked into creating a system to help others learn what you've learned? It sounds like you're looking to make a serious impact, but don't know where to start even with the time and the resources, because there are so many roads to travel on. You're definitely on your hero's journey my friend, most people go through life, in all walks of life living content, and not questioning the deeper meaning or the point of it all.
 

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josephsmith

josephsmith

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jul 4, 2019
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Thank you for all your fantastic replies. I really never thought about it from that way; that we each have our own different journey to walk. I always felt I started at the finish line with no race to run. Instead now I see that my own race is still before me. I've been so tunnel visioned in my thinking and have been too focused on myself lately that I have forgotten to look around on what and whom I care about on this world.

You guys have reminded me that at the end of the day, what's matter is IMPACT. Impact on other people's lives. Whether as a vehicle to get out of financial hardship, leaving a lasting legacy, or finding purpose in one's life. I think I'm going to finish reading Unscripted asap and let my thoughts coalesce a bit.

As weird as it sounds, without Fastlane I'd probably be content sitting around. MJ helped plant the seed of discontent in my frivolous life. Unscripted has given me another kick in the butt and I finally got around to sharing these feelings with someone for the first time in my life. Even if you guys are total strangers, my appreciation for the advice given to me is immeasurable. Thank you.
 

Ubu_roi

Contributor
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I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Jul 24, 2018
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Just to build upon what the others have said, I'd say you begin with an advantage: you KNOW, because you've experienced it, that money and whatever you HAVE, do not give meaning, happiness, or life in general. Often quite the opposite: they take from you: energy, meaning, freedom, life.

From your few words, I'd say that building a business is not something where you could find long term meaning in your life.

You correctly said you want to have an IMPACT. That's great. Next you should ask yourself the kind of impact you want to have. In my experience, for what's worth, the greatest happiness happens when you share something with others: be it your knowledge, your love, your skills, your means.

Find what you want to give, study and grow so that you can scale it, and create a "productocracy" where you have the freedom of not having to earn money. Just think of the huge impact this could have, you could contribute to making this world (and yours) better!
 

YanC

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Sep 18, 2017
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Hello @josephsmith ,

I felt compelled to answer as I have a similar background and you might benefit from my humble experience. I'm roughly the same age as you and was born into a wealthy family. Nothing "crazy", but I could pretty much go on and live without doing much as I have a frugal lifestyle and was never attracted to shiny things.

Motivation may get you going, but you need to find purpose and discipline to keep going through hard times, as you inevitably will if you pursue entrepreneurship. If you can't put food on the table, it's pretty straightforward to find a strong enough reason to push yourself. You have to find something else.

Here are my WHYs:
  • I have a deep respect for those who came before me and made my life much easier than theirs. I want to be worthy of it.
  • My dad literally kills himself working like crazy so our whole family can live very comfortably. I got him in my venture and my goal is to generate enough income so he can slow down and enjoy things he likes to do. He deserves it.
  • I see spoiled adults who grew up wealthy and whose parents told them they would never have to work in their life, and it's not pretty. We have a saying here: "The first generation builds, the second develops and the third squanders". I am the third and I don't want to squander.
Make it about someone else. Surely someone worked his a$$ off so you can afford a comfortable lifestyle. If you have children one day, how will you educate them if you just have been through life not doing anything? How will you make sure they act responsibly and don't stupidly burn what you'll give them? What kind of example will you be?

Also, it's not only about making money. Whatever you want to accomplish in life that will give it meaning will require hard work, discipline and persistence. I'm an amateur landscape photographer, and getting a real good shot is a lot of hard work. I just got into BJJ, and I can tell you even turning into a blue belt won't happen in just one day. Staying fit and strong requires a disciplined diet and workout plan.

If you don't force yourself to do something, the risk is you'll never find meaning in your life and feel empty. There is plenty of depressed wealthy people.

I think one finds meaning in life by becoming the best version of himself. Working on my business is definitely the most important part in becoming the best version of myself as I have to step outside my comfort zone most of the time: do the work, take risks, make mistakes, try again, make the calls, negotiate, meet and deal with all sorts of people (I'm a hardcore introvert)... I never felt as good in my life and it was never as meaningful as now.
 
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josephsmith

josephsmith

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jul 4, 2019
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"I see spoiled adults who grew up wealthy and whose parents told them they would never have to work in their life, and it's not pretty. We have a saying here: "The first generation builds, the second develops and the third squanders". I am the third and I don't want to squander."
If you ever visited Vancouver or the Toronto area in Canada where I live, it's common to see Lambourghini's, Ferraris, Rolls-Royce's driven by young Chinese teens, not old enough to grow facial hair. All of them bought from their daddy's money. There was even a kidnapping case a few months back because one kid kept showing off his vehicles on social media. When I see those kids I'm reminded that I could've turned out similar to them, but I find it distasteful to flaunt wealth that I've never had any part of creating.

I used to know a guy a couple years older than me when I was in my early 20s, who was in a similar situation. He was born wealthy as well, but told me how he had trouble getting a girlfriend and resorted to hookers. He was overweight and had a stutter but would use money to "solve" his problems. I don't think he was ever happy either, he lied to his parents about finishing his degree and spent his day playing video games. I didn't want to turn out like that and I stopped contact with him after a couple months.

"I think one finds meaning in life by becoming the best version of himself. Working on my business is definitely the most important part in becoming the best version of myself as I have to step outside my comfort zone most of the time: do the work, take risks, make mistakes, try again, make the calls, negotiate, meet and deal with all sorts of people (I'm a hardcore introvert)... I never felt as good in my life and it was never as meaningful as now. "
I loved your entire post, but this part really speaks to me. I'm introvert by nature myself, but nowadays no one can tell because I've read enough books on charisma and presence that I'm in total control of most social settings. Many people have told me I would do well in sales. I have also always tried to improve myself in things such as health and fitness. However, I never incorporated that "working on my business" as part of my own identity. I've incorporated years back but have been leaving my "business" filing zeroes and inactive. I remember a chapter in Fastlane about how your business is like your spouse, and I guess I really need to stop neglecting it.
 

Yzn

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Jul 1, 2018
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You see, and I'm talking from personal experience so I could be wrong, most people here are into business because one day they want to live freely without having money limits.

If someone would have given them the money to live freely as you do, and do whatever they want as you do, I would guarantee 99% wouldn't last 6 months in the business world. In fact no one would open a business.

My advice is at this point of time is to do what you're passionate about and help others within your passion.

Make a "business" of whatever you are passionate/interested about and don't focus on how to make money from this, because again you don't have that problem. When the money flows it'll flow because of the value you created.

Also look more into spirituality if that applies to you. If not forget this sentence.
 

MJ DeMarco

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You need a meaning and a purpose, something that drives you.

I suggest reading last month's book, Man's Search for Meaning.

I also touch on this in Unscripted.

Without a strong meaning and purpose, you'll be drifting aimlessly.

Since you already live in comfort, you're going to need something powerful to compel you.
 
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josephsmith

josephsmith

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jul 4, 2019
11
20
14
You need a meaning and a purpose, something that drives you.

I suggest reading last month's book, Man's Search for Meaning.

I also touch on this in Unscripted.

Without a strong meaning and purpose, you'll be drifting aimlessly.

Since you already live in comfort, you're going to need something powerful to compel you.
Thank you for the reply MJ! "Drifting Aimlessly" is me in a nutshell. I'll get my hands on that recommended book asap. Spent my morning reading (well audiobook listening) more of Unscripted while doing my morning workout and I'm around 1/3 through.
I know you've heard it plenty of times before, but your books have had a lasting impact in my life. You have a way of conjuring up that deep-seated discontent and resentment at the mundane and ordinary scripted life. It's enough to make someone who lives comfortably, uncomfortable. And I thank you for that.
 

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