Book on mindset and social competence

[ErwinF]

Hello Guys,

in the past view years I have isolated me more and more from society. At first I thougth this would change and get better by itself, but obviously it didnt. I live with my girlfriend alone and I dont have any friends. I meet my mother every two weeks and sometimes my brothers or other family members. Since I need to be more social to get my business working, I need to get under people and learn again how to behave among people.
Can you guys recommend a book on this topic? I know what I have to do (meet people), but a little guide on that would be great.

Although I am lacking on the right mindset. I put the need of others above mine, I do not want to attract attention (for example, asking a question in public), I always think about what other people think about me, and so on...
What book is a must read on this? Maybe is there a book, that teaches/guides me to a great personality, so I am not in my own way?

All the best
Erwin

 

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[Isaac Odongo]

Hello Guys,

in the past view years I have isolated me more and more from society. At first I thougth this would change and get better by itself, but obviously it didnt. I live with my girlfriend alone and I dont have any friends. I meet my mother every two weeks and sometimes my brothers or other family members. Since I need to be more social to get my business working, I need to get under people and learn again how to behave among people.
Can you guys recommend a book on this topic? I know what I have to do (meet people), but a little guide on that would be great.

Although I am lacking on the right mindset. I put the need of others above mine, I do not want to attract attention (for example, asking a question in public), I always think about what other people think about me, and so on...
What book is a must read on this? Maybe is there a book, that teaches/guides me to a great personality, so I am not in my own way?

All the best
Erwin

Try asking ChatGPT. Try reading MJ's books.

For God's sake, do something.

Start reading those books ChatGPT tells you and, make sure you read MJ.

DISCOVER. FRIEND, Discover.

Take charge. It is better that way.

Kind regards

 

[Raju Zodiac]

Hello Guys,

in the past view years I have isolated me more and more from society. At first I thougth this would change and get better by itself, but obviously it didnt. I live with my girlfriend alone and I dont have any friends. I meet my mother every two weeks and sometimes my brothers or other family members. Since I need to be more social to get my business working, I need to get under people and learn again how to behave among people.
Can you guys recommend a book on this topic? I know what I have to do (meet people), but a little guide on that would be great.

Although I am lacking on the right mindset. I put the need of others above mine, I do not want to attract attention (for example, asking a question in public), I always think about what other people think about me, and so on...
What book is a must read on this? Maybe is there a book, that teaches/guides me to a great personality, so I am not in my own way?

All the best
Erwin

This is a very popular book. Subtle art of not giving a f*ck. This book goes into great detail on how we can creating the life we want without caring about what others think. It's a good read. maybe it can help you.

 

[heavy_industry]

The only way to gain true confidence is to become a person that you are proud of. Start living the life that you truly want to live. Start being the person that you know you can be.

And then just go out there and practice socializing. It's a learned skill, just like any other.

No book, or video, or "mindset hack" will be able to solve this problem. Repeated positive action is the answer.

 

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[PapaGang]

Hello Guys,

in the past view years I have isolated me more and more from society. At first I thougth this would change and get better by itself, but obviously it didnt. I live with my girlfriend alone and I dont have any friends. I meet my mother every two weeks and sometimes my brothers or other family members. Since I need to be more social to get my business working, I need to get under people and learn again how to behave among people.
Can you guys recommend a book on this topic? I know what I have to do (meet people), but a little guide on that would be great.

Although I am lacking on the right mindset. I put the need of others above mine, I do not want to attract attention (for example, asking a question in public), I always think about what other people think about me, and so on...
What book is a must read on this? Maybe is there a book, that teaches/guides me to a great personality, so I am not in my own way?

All the best
Erwin

1. Get your a$$ to a martial arts dojo stat. You need to wake up, get punched in the face, and then punch someone back. Get up. Move. F*cking work out on that bag. You need to do something that allows you to feel great. Something physical. Something that can give you confidence to move through the world.

2. Read Networking is Dead.

3. There is a site called LinkedIn that connects you with millions of people looking to have their problems solved. Pick one and solve it. Tell the story. Create the value, have a great time. Other people will want in.

 

[Kevin88660]

Hello Guys,

in the past view years I have isolated me more and more from society. At first I thougth this would change and get better by itself, but obviously it didnt. I live with my girlfriend alone and I dont have any friends. I meet my mother every two weeks and sometimes my brothers or other family members. Since I need to be more social to get my business working, I need to get under people and learn again how to behave among people.
Can you guys recommend a book on this topic? I know what I have to do (meet people), but a little guide on that would be great.

Although I am lacking on the right mindset. I put the need of others above mine, I do not want to attract attention (for example, asking a question in public), I always think about what other people think about me, and so on...
What book is a must read on this? Maybe is there a book, that teaches/guides me to a great personality, so I am not in my own way?

All the best
Erwin

How to win friends and influence people is a good start.

 

[Johnny boy]

Living with your girl takes your edge off. I'm kicking my girlfriend of 3 years out of my house because it's too comfortable.

The answer is to have high standards. Being a quiet nerd who doesn't get any respect would piss me off so much I wouldn't allow it to continue. How are you not pissed off?

If you are motivated but don't know what to do, I like to go with "safe bets".

It's a safe bet to assume being in great shape will positively improve you health, confidence, comfort in your own body, attract other people, raise your value in general, etc.

It's a safe bet that building a business that works for you and produces you a high income will be good for you and result in more options, more freedom, and will also raise your value in general.

It's a safe bet that having kickass friends who all do cool shit will be a good idea in general and you will be more likely to do cool shit with them.

It's a safe bet that being better with the opposite sex and getting more "reps" in with more women will result in you being more charismatic, more generally attractive, better at communicating, and will also raise your value in general.

These things are objectively scarce, difficult and valuable. It's a safe bet that pursuing them will test you and the struggles you face while doing so will form you into a better and better man.

With that in mind, write down some categories of being a man and analyze your current levels, set unrealistic goals in the form of 'ideals' in your mind, and then put more realistic milestones in between them. Use that to create a plan, then use that to create a to-do list. Then get to work.

Transform your desires and intuition into tangible words. Then you can start to search for answers. Ask yourself what you're lacking and label it.

Who is successful in that domain you want to improve in? You have a shit social life? Who has a great social life? What did they do? You want to grow a business? What are the people who are making good money doing? Look with open eyes. Notice the obvious things around you. It takes some clarity and awareness to see the obvious things happening right in front of you.

Having the desire to "meet more people" is normal but not specific enough. Who do you want to meet? "Fun successful attractive people" probably. Well, where are they? Are they the type of people you would want to actually spend time with? Are you the type of person they would want to spend time with? Where are YOU going? Are the people you think you want to meet going in that same direction? How much time do you want to be spending each day maintaining these relationships realistically? What does the ideal lifestyle look like for you if you could wave a wand and make anything come true?

It is infinitely more important to know yourself and what you want than to read a book about "meeting people". You have some things to figure out first probably. The best course of action entirely depends on what you really want.

 

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[PapaGang]

Living with your girl takes your edge off. I'm kicking my girlfriend of 3 years out of my house because it's too comfortable.

Every day I open my work log and have this listed near the top:
Comfort will ruin you.

It's a silent killer of dreams.

 

[PapaGang]

**cough**
I'm just going to leave this here.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpxHFNvlUmU


I'm not saying you have to kick your girl out, but I would recommend getting involved in some cross fit, martial arts, weight training, mountain biking, something.

You need a pack of homies (quality homies) and you need to get physical. That works magic.

Psychologists talk about how we are social animals, and just the act of being around a group of friends can work magic for us. We have no other way of determining our place in the status hierarchy. The more people we hang out with, the more we understand where we are—and more importantly—where we want to be. This gives us motivation to make change for the better.

There is a reason the Greeks worshiped both the physical and the intellectual.

 

[heavy_industry]

Living with your girl takes your edge off. I'm kicking my girlfriend of 3 years out of my house because it's too comfortable.

This is the most alpha thing I've read today.

I tried living with my gf and I found it to be very distracting. I won't do that again until I get married and get a huge house where I can just lock myself in my office and work.

 

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[ErwinF]

thank you for the book recommendations!