I'm a trader, I love trading. I love looking at and analysing charts. The journey of mastering the trading mind set is also an amazing transformation where I get to dig up all my past conditioning and really look at what is beneath my thought patterns.

To develop this mind set I am forced to become so self aware that I can observe and recognise automatic reflexes, emotions, physical rushes and impulses when external events happen in the markets - with real money on the line. Without this awareness it won't happen - it's a mandatory step that is turning out to be hugely rewarding across my whole life. As a very hyperactive and emotional person with a history of addiction this is my Everest - along with racking up 10,000+ hours of chart time... That to me is the 'holy grail' of trading.

I also like investing to build some solid foundations of steady growth and income to allow me to trade the higher risk stuff free of fear.

But it's not all about the money - I am hugely drawn to spirituality and consciousness. I feel great pain at the state of the world, all the war, famine, injustice, propaganda and inequality. I have come to realise that to make a positive change is to become the change, to break free of social conditioning, fear, anger and despair.

Currently there are some conflicting beliefs and cognitive dissonance inside me that is at odds with the entrepreneurial part - this is part of the Everest that I will conquer as when I think logically about it having a job just keeps me part of the machine and holds me back from expressing myself fully. Also with great wealth and time I can invest in positive ventures as well as be a much more effective philanthropist. Also I can dedicate more time to my main purpose in life (next paragraph). Part of me knows this but hasn't accepted it fully yet - we're still in negotiations and making good progress.

Finally, first and foremost I am a musician and composer. I have a gift that is resurging and I want to give it time and effort to bloom. I accept that there is 'no money in music' (apparently) because the music industry has seen to it that the 1% rule applies to those with moderate talent (but the right appearance to make a marketable product that will extract the maximum revenue) receive all the market share while those who's purpose it is is to create music are overlooked if they do not look right or fit into the cookie cutter. Even with the Internet this still appears to be a problem and people with talent and incredible gifts are forced to forgo them in order to get through life. Meanwhile generation after generation get musically dumbed down as quality and originality becomes ever more diluted by churned out by a machine that doesn't care.

This upsets me and also galvanises me do what I can to change it. I have a dream to develop a platform (or leverage existing ones) with a marketing budget to give a voice to all the amazing real talent there is out there and allow quality to rise. I know this is happening already but not fast enough or effectively enough. This will - I imagine - take a lot of money to achieve along with some creative magic.

So there are several 'whys' and an answer (that I needed to provide to myself more than anyone) to the assertion some have that "trading is an empty speculative activity that provides no value to society".

If you've read this far I thank you for your time, if any of this resonates with you and you have an interest in trading, investing, music or anything else I've written about please get in touch.

Just writing this has been a very positive exercise for myself letting me gather my thoughts and gain some clarity. Now I must go into some contract negotiations with the part of me that believes that I should be grinding a job, that the pursuit of wealth is unconscious and against spiritual growth and that winces (and I notice has a physical 'cold' sensation in the middle of my chest or 'heart chakra') at the word 'millionaire' and views traders and online marketers as shallow and bad.

There are some deals to be had and everyone will get what they want