You're Not Ready for a Mentor if....

[G-Man]

Just gonna throw out some general musings from interactions I've had with forum members (mostly new). Feel free to add other qualifiers, but here goes: You're not ready for a mentor if:

• You've never even attempted action on your own.
• You think someone's going to lead you every step of the way
• You already know it all
• You can't openly acknowledge failure/being wrong
• You think you can plug and play with someone else's network
• You're not ready to sacrifice for someone else
• You PM G-man asking for advice then won't read a damn book he offers to mail you for free.

 

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[#nowhere]

Can you mail me a book for free please?

 

[jon.a]

Can you mail me a book for free please?

Me too?

 

[G-Man]

Can you mail me a book for free please?

Me too?

Never offering that to anyone here again. I'm taking my ball and going home.

 

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[JAJT]

• You PM G-man asking for advice then won't read a damn book he offers to mail you for free.

Good sir, are you not aware of all the excellent content that was added to Netflix in the last 11 days? There's simply no time.

 

[G-Man]

Good sir, are you not aware of all the excellent content that was added to Netflix in the last 11 days? There's simply no time.

I'm not. Mrs. G-man won't allow a television in our home. Sometimes when she's doing housework I skulk off and watch Amazon Prime in secret. It's shameful, I know.

 

[Raoul Duke]

• You PM G-man asking for advice then won't read a damn book he offers to mail you for free.

No Book For You! The SoupNazi Exposes Why Most People Will Never Get Rich – Fastlane Entrepreneurs

 

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[Scot]

I'll get this thread back on track.

You're not ready for a mentor if:

• You don't really know the purpose of a mentor
• You haven't exhausted all your own research and learning options
• You aren't willing to give the mentor value first without expecting anything in return

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Great post.

Let me put this another way.

If you seek mentorship, become a person who warrants mentorship.

Have a body of work that justifies the position. And by body of work, I mean meaningful action (and failure.) Show the mentor WHY you are worthy and why you could be valuable to him/her.

You DO NOT get a mentor just because you want one.

It's no different than thinking you could clerk for a Supreme Court justice, just because, hey, you want to.

Like a job, mentorships are earned by being valuable and worthy of them.

You just don't turn off the video game and suddenly decide, "Hey, I'm gonna email Elon Musk and see if he will mentor me!"

The problem I see here far too often is people thinking that just because they want a mentor, they can get a mentor.

And that's no better than thinking "just because I want to get rich, I will get rich, because after all, I'm special!"

Nope, don't work like that.

 

[#nowhere]

Bottom line for me: Value-flux has to be there. ( like with the rep bank- concept here..)

First value flows from mentee to mentor.
Then after that, maybe, value flows analogous from mentor to mentee.

 

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[G-Man]

Great post.

Let me put this another way.

If you seek mentorship, become a person who warrants mentorship.

Have a body of work that justifies the position. And by body of work, I mean meaningful action (and failure.) Show the mentor WHY you are worthy and why you could be valuable to him/her.

You DO NOT get a mentor just because you want one.

It's no different than thinking you could clerk for a Supreme Court justice, just because, hey, you want to.

Like a job, mentorships are earned by being valuable and worthy of them.

You just don't turn off the video game and suddenly decide, "Hey, I'm gonna email Elon Musk and see if he will mentor me!"

The problem I see here far too often is people thinking that just because they want a mentor, they can get a mentor.

And that's no better than thinking "just because I want to get rich, I will get rich, because after all, I'm special!"

Nope, don't work like that.

Seriously though, when you gonna teach mentor me to be a bestselling author? I don't have anything to write about and I've been told I overuse commas. That's enough raw material, right?

If you seek mentorship, become a person who warrants mentorship.

And if you want success, become a person that's worthy of success. I think one of the most nefarious self-deceptions out there is that you're going to achieve massive success without undergoing massive and painful personal change.

I hate it so much because it's my preferred form of self-deception. I was the kid that floated through school and a top tier university program without any effort. Then I got out into the real world and was consistently getting my a$$ kicked by people that weren't as smart or naturally talented as me. It took me until an embarrassingly late age in life to realize that they were kicking my a$$ because they were more worthy.

The minute I realized that and decided to focus on becoming more worthy, I became more successful in my work almost immediately. It was very painful. It still is. If you let your guard down, that entitlement shit will creep back into your mind.

 

[KSR]

So uh, do you ship to Australia?

 

[amp0193]

Whenever someone here PMs me for help with Amazon/ecommerce, and it's more than just a question or two, I bill them for my time. If they're down to pay a couple hundred bucks to talk to me, then I can assume that my time is less likely to be wasted.

I helped out @DBXI last year with a couple of paid skype calls. And once he took massive action and implemented just about everything I suggested (and he is killing it now), I stopped charging him. Now it's just fun for me to help him out.

So, you might not be ready for a mentor: If you aren't willing to put your money where your mouth is.

 

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[rollerskates]

I can kind of understand why people do this. Early in my self employment career when I sucked because I didn't understand the concept of value, I did reach out to people I knew online. Granted, they were already online friends I had known for years, so it wasn't like, say, emailing Elon Musk. I used to think that if someone just gave me the right piece of information--business idea/marketing plan/SEO skills--that I would be successful.

IMPORTANT: Having a certain piece of information isn't how this works. That's not how any of this works. You won't understand how it works until you know how it doesn't work, grasshopper.

And strangely, after years of wanting a mentor for the wrong reasons, I realize I am not ready for one. I am getting enough mentoring just reading here.

 

[GoodluckChuck]

I am not worthy
I am not worthy

Today's world teaches kids to think they are worth a million bucks...

Inflation man...

 

[JWelch]

Funny coincidence I was actually researching yesterday the topic of "how do I add value to a mentor".
@G-Man.

Just gonna throw out some general musings from interactions I've had with forum members (mostly new). Feel free to add other qualifiers, but here goes: You're not ready for a mentor if:

• You've never even attempted action on your own.
• You think someone's going to lead you every step of the way
• You already know it all
• You can't openly acknowledge failure/being wrong
• You think you can plug and play with someone else's network
• You're not ready to sacrifice for someone else
• You PM G-man asking for advice then won't read a damn book he offers to mail you for free.

I grew up being told that once you graduate high school, go get a job. That's what my family all did so I followed and been working in manufacturing for over 10 years now and much of it has been a waste because next to nothing I've gotten good at has utility so I'm kind of starting at square one. No excuses though.

I'm sorry this person stole time from you and took it for granted. I myself do not. Thanks for the posts, comments, insights and even humor you bring here regularly. You have helped me along many times already, as have many other great contributors here. I strive to learn from you and even more so give back in meaningful ways for how much you and others have all helped me learn and grow thus far.

So, from the bottom of my heart thank you!!!

 

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[G-Man]

been working in manufacturing for over 10 years now and much of it has been a waste because next to nothing I've gotten good at has utility so I'm kind of starting at square one

Unless you're 15 and have never had a job, you're never at square 1. That's one of the greatest realizations I've had from the forum here.

I'm a controller by trade. Most people would consider that successful given I'm 31. Here's the problem: I F*cking hate accounting. I was considering going back to college and all kinds of other crazy stuff I hate it so much.

I realized that because of my work, I actually had the opportunity to see and learn tons of things about the market, but I had my head too far up the a**hole of self pity to pay attention.

Look around you and you'll realize you know more than you think you do. Keep it up man. You'll get there.

 

[Dan1el]

• You PM G-man asking for advice then won't read a damn book he offers to mail you for free.

For a change, how about giving me some advice on books, that I promise to get through and buy with my own money?

 

[Greg R]

Just gonna throw out some general musings from interactions I've had with forum members (mostly new). Feel free to add other qualifiers, but here goes: You're not ready for a mentor if:

• You've never even attempted action on your own.
• You think someone's going to lead you every step of the way
• You already know it all
• You can't openly acknowledge failure/being wrong
• You think you can plug and play with someone else's network
• You're not ready to sacrifice for someone else
• You PM G-man asking for advice then won't read a damn book he offers to mail you for free.

You're not ready for a mentor if...

You're looking for a mentor.

 

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[MidwestLandlord]

Nice thread !

You aren't ready for a mentor if you worship the ground your mentor walks on and your PM's are full of a$$-kissing compliments like you're insecure with being allowed to speak with some sort of demigod.

 

[JWelch]

Unless you're 15 and have never had a job, you're never at square 1. That's one of the greatest realizations I've had from the forum here.

I'm a controller by trade. Most people would consider that successful given I'm 31. Here's the problem: I F*cking hate accounting. I was considering going back to college and all kinds of other crazy stuff I hate it so much.

I realized that because of my work, I actually had the opportunity to see and learn tons of things about the market, but I had my head too far up the a**hole of self pity to pay attention.

Look around you and you'll realize you know more than you think you do. Keep it up man. You'll get there.

I'm motivated to succeed and be able to earn a full time income (and more) from entrepreneurial ventures without relying on an employer to sustain my lifestyle or have control of me. You're of course correct, I have learned and experienced quite a bit that will help me on the journey. Before I read TMF I didn't even realize I had the ability to create and own a company of my own. Weird huh?

I did the short bout with going back to school a couple of years ago like you were saying. After about a year I had no idea why I was taking some of the classes I was taking because they didn't have shit to do with anything. I took a class that literally taught you different methods of note taking. THANKS COLLEGE!!

I am making progress though I had someone here tell me that the way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. It puts things into perspective.
I would say that hands down the biggest thing that has helped me to realize that I am capable of business success is deciding to get into shape. I'm not a small guy, I'm 6'5" and about 5 years ago I weighed about 350 lbs. I read everything I could about fitness and nutrition and bodybuilding because I was poor growing up and fed Mcdonald's since I was a baby so I grew up fat. I was nose to the grind stone and didn't cheat on my diet for over a year. I lifted weights 5-7 days per week and cooked every meal every day like clock work. I got big and lean at the same time and eventually found myself at 222 lbs. I had skin fold calipers check my bodyfat percentage and it was 7%.
That work and experience taught me that I have the testicular fortitude to shut the world off and put in the work to accomplish the first 2 lbs of weight lost, then the next 2, and the next.
If there's not a bunch of smarts in me, there's definitely the work ethic. So I suppose "square one" was perhaps a bit of an exaggeration.

Shit, now I want to go work out.

 

[G-Man]

For a change, how about giving me some advice on books, that I promise to get through and buy with my own money?

Buy 7 habits of highly effective people, read the chapter on being proactive, and implement ruthlessly.

 

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[G-Man]

So, before I get another random PM from a young member, and because @Scot laughed and pointed out that I 100% brought this shit on myself, please don't take this thread as an indication that I can mentor you.

I'm here to learn like everyone else. Unless your dream is to be 31 and staring at spreadsheets for 10 hours a day, I'm not your guy.

Also, if you're looking to PM a member of the forum that actually would be a good mentor, don't lead off with vague open ended questions.

 

[Dan1el]

Buy 7 habits of highly effective people, read the chapter on being proactive, and implement ruthlessly.

Will order the book right away. Thank you @G-Man!

 

[SteveO]

Unless you're 15 and have never had a job, you're never at square 1.

Words of wisdom!

 

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[Scot]

So, before I get another random PM from a young member, and because @Scot laughed and pointed out that I 100% brought this shit on myself, please don't take this thread as an indication that I can mentor you.

I'm here to learn like everyone else. Unless your dream is to be 31 and staring at spreadsheets for 10 hours a day, I'm not your guy.

Also, if you're looking to PM a member of the forum that actually would be a good mentor, don't lead off with vague open ended questions.

 

[SteveO]

I don't care for the mentor thing myself.

Way back when I was a supervisor in the technical field, I could see the difference of who would do and who would not. It was clear as can be. Some asked for training, the others would just figure out how to do the job. Those were the ones that I would help.

 

[MidwestLandlord]

...if you get defensive towards the feedback you receive.

(you know, the feedback you ASKED for)

 

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[AndrewNC]

If I spend weeks of my personal time helping you, only to have you buy some other training course which tells you to spam myself, SinisterLex, and 58 other people, exposing all of our personal emails, ignoring any advice we give you, literally begging us to give you $1 and saying you will get on the ground and kiss our feet for it...and to leave a less-than-5-star-review on my book with part of the reasoning for it because you didn't like the title...

If you're going to act all excited at first, waste people's time by not listening to their advice, and jump to the next get-rich-quick scheme...you're not ready for a mentor.

 

[MidwestLandlord]

Apparently...

...this thread topic hits a nerve for quite a few people lol