Why Do YOU Need a Mentor?

[SteveO]

This mentorship idea is overrated. People work together because they get something out of it.
I have never sought out a mentor. It is better to look at what others are doing and try to determine what is making them successful. Put those things into practice. Do your own trial and error. Build your business custom fit to you.

Years ago I was coaching my daughter's softball team. We lost a lot of games in my first season. There were a couple of teams that seemed to have success year after year. I observed some of their practices to gather ideas. I noticed that the kids were always doing something and not just standing on the field waiting for the occasional ball to come to them. Nor were they standing around waiting for a turn at a few swings of the bat.

It was very obvious to me that repetition was the important part of the equation. How many times do they field the ball, throw the ball, and swing the bat.

So, I modified my approach. The next season I got five of the parents to COMMIT to being at the practices. I trained each of them on a certain job. I set up stations at the practices. The players rotated through the stations with the coaches. There were swing stations with 2 batting tees where the players repeatedly hit balls into a fence. There was an actual station with a pitching machine where the players would swing at live pitching. Other parents and the kids in that station would shag the balls on the field. There were infield stations where each player would repeatedly get grounders and popups and throw them back. There were pitching stations where I could make sure that each pitcher got at least 100 throws per practice.

I always finished the practice off with a game of pickle. All players would participate at the same time with multiple stations of three. This game builds endurance, makes the kids think, gives them reasoning skills in action, and makes them throw, catch, tag, run in the heat of the moment.

Well, my teams started beating these other good teams. I took their concepts and improved on them.

I applied the same concept to soccer. Even though I did not know much about the sport, my teams were consistently 1st or 2nd place. I took a girls team of 12 year olds to a boys soccer tournament and we won. Left some of the boys crying on the field because they were beat by girls. I never played soccer. Didn't know much about it. Just observed and put into practice.

This does not mean that you should not take advantage of a mentorship situation when it arises. That would be valuable. All I am saying is that you DON'T NEED ONE.

I would not even WANT to be mentored by most of the successful people out there. Perhaps take some nuggets away for my own practice.

We have some fantastic mentors on this forum. They mentor constantly whether you know it or not. Every time that you take an idea from someone and put it into practice, you are being mentored. Even if the idea does not work, you learn something.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

I never had a mentor other than reading books which surrogated for mentorship. I think I turned out OK.

I cannot recall a time that I waited for someone to lead me into anything.

And that's the problem with a lot of young people; they're waiting around for someone to lead, guide, and hand out the paint-by-numbers blueprint. "I'm looking for a mentor" is usually code for "hold my hand so I don't have to learn and/or take risks myself".

 

[Vigilante]

My mentor died a little over a year ago. I miss him every day.

Why was it interesting for him to mentor me? I made him (literally) a few million dollars along the way.

He gave me much more than that.

 

[SteveO]

I have been contemplating of getting a professional coach. I rather pay for results. I don't want to be led by someone with no experience in what I want to achieve

This post is an eye-opener for me. Is this what people want is to be led by someone? Perhaps that is what makes the difference between who needs a mentor and who does not.

I cannot recall a time that I waited for someone to lead me into anything. Why not step into the middle, learn some things, leverage off of others, then improve your process? It is always problematic to have someone else making the decisions. We are all independent individuals with different ideas. I can see taking on a job in a field if there is something that you need to learn. I did this once. Took a job as a commercial leasing agent to get some exposure. That was purely to learn.

If you need to be led by someone, perhaps you are a follower....

 

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[biophase]

I think it really depends on what areas you lack discipline in. I've never felt like I needed a mentor in business. Although, I do feel that having one or someone more successful than you would be a benefit.

However, I do have a personal trainer which I feel has helped me alot. I knew that I wasn't getting the results I wanted when working out myself, so I hired a trainer.

If I felt that I wasn't getting the results I wanted for the amount of work I put into business, I would hire a coach or find a mentor. But, I feel comfortable where I'm at, so I just don't feel the need for one.

I've hired coaches in other areas also because I felt like I did not have enough knowledge in that area. For example, I actually hired an "image consultant", that was her title on her business card, to buy nice clothes for me. I am a t-shirt and shorts guy and have no idea what to buy when it comes to dress wear. I went shopping with her, she told me what was in, what looked good on my body type, what colors to choose and explain why this goes with that, etc... Two hours later we were done, I had a new wardrobe and now I can actually go shopping myself, lol.

I can telling you that hiring someone good to teach you is WAAAAAAY more efficient than learning something on your own.

So if you feel like you need one, you probably do. Just find a good one! That's the hard part.

 

[RogueInnovation]

This does not mean that you should not take advantage of a mentorship situation when it arises. That would be valuable. All I am saying is that you DON'T NEED ONE.

I instantly recognised what you were saying, and agree totally. However, this is one of those awkward situations for me, where I was actually one of the guys that followed the other path.

My reason for following a mentor was simple, I knew that I needed to improve, and there they were, asking me questions, encouraging me etc, so I played the game and listened.

Had I gone without mentorship and networks, I would have
- Not become aware of economics and trading
- Not become aware of inside info on the top brands in the world (nike, disney, sony yadda yada yadda)
- Not had structures and quality resources to grind on
- Not had analogies and comparitive stories to help
- Not seen how BIG you can really imagine

When I started business I was so dumb... I tried to learn "what money was" and "why we exhange it" and "where it came from". I was about a year into those really stupid questions when my mentor came along.
And when he did, I was like "no f'n way!"
Islands, helicopters, mansions, contacts with the largest influencers in the world.

My mentor delighted in blowing my f'n head off. "Yo dude, you ever seen this! Don't explode!".


It was a big fat TEASE. Because at the end of the day he turned around like "so now we've done that, show me what you got". He used to shut down my ideas in three seconds, and I was left like left to grind and farm questions, which where all too stupid for him to answer.
Me all insignificant , drowning in my own inability to understand , and trying to not be a jelly kneed dummy

It left me spinning, but at the end of that time, I put my head down, and GRINDED. I didn't know what I was doing, I din't know where I would go, I just GRINDED. Slowly, I built up layers of sense. Then I started discovering cool stuff, and then went out to test myself.
Failed, was kinda roughed up, annoyed, etc. And slowly got over it.

So as much as I agree with the concept of doing it through common sense, I don't think I HAD common sense in regards to business and needed a rude awakening to help me stop running after useless stuff.

That shock of awareness of a bigger idea, choke slammed me into business.
And as much as it twisted me inside out and upside down, I had the capacity inside to unravel the chaos and crawl over the line.

Having a mentor made me dream bigger. And I think that was the whole point.

But that isn't what MOST people ask for. Most people ask for a mentor to "show them every way to do everything they are afraid of". So I think I totally agree with you, even despite being mentor pile drived myself (was good and full of tough love and "catch up").

What I liked most about being a protege though, was that I got to learn how to respect dudes who were better than me at what I wanted. Because now I know how to listen, even when my body SCREAMS at me to fight. Thats my favorite part.

That and, the simple craziness of having learned THAT crazy way, rather than the usual heave ho.
Was fun in a twisted way.

But yes, mentors to MAKE YOU SUCCEED, is somewhat of a red herring, because only you can do that, and being mentored like I was, I was not garunteed success, I had to earn it. And being so close to the fire, you get angry, and you have to NOT be a d#ck, and you have to earn your own stripes, and you have to do just like you said in the OP.
You do it with your own steam and smarts, and its satisfying once you have.

 

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[SteveO]

What's interesting is seeing someone successful so dead set against needing a mentor.

Please don't misunderstand me here. I am NOT against mentors. Just don't use it as an excuse for not moving forward.

GOOD mentors are hard to find. Don't waste your time searching them out, spend your time learning. You may run into a GOOD mentor along the way at which point you are lucky.

 

[RogueInnovation]

A good mentor is extremely rare!

Yup, I lucked out like a bandit stumbling into a kings harem.
But eventually I had to pull my own heavy weight, cuz no one can carry your fear.

To overcome my fear came in 4 stages:
- Recognising I had to face learning business
- Travelling over seas so that I wasn't lazy and stupid about money and forced to make ends meet, get out and around and make contacts
- Getting pile drived by a mentor
- Finally stepping up to the plate to swing

A good mentor is rare, but just as rare is a good student.
Good students are humble, and fearless.
I wasn't exactly both.

I feel that succeeding on your own just pressures you to be fearless and as a result you can be arrogant, but succeeding under someone pressures you to never really show arrogance even at the expence of creating more fear in you. So in some ways, mentors make you face yourself, and you get that added fear.

I believe that added fear is to make you aware of their fear that you will never make it (because mentors are afraid for you ending up a retard also).
So, you get this weird feeling, where you have to figure out why they fear you failing.
I spend quite some time trying to figure out, what I really need to become, in order to be at that place.

Its ponderous, and it leaves you bewildered by this distant thing, making you fear doing small acts because you might get too comfortable with them, rather than the big boy tasks.
It makes you more anxious almost.

But yes, fear is why we want mentors, but if you are WISE, you seek mentors to FACE the fear, and to take on the climb earlier.
No excuses to f#ck up or delay.


Ultimately mentors give you an extra fear, a fear of missing out, dissappointing, not being like them, and being a dirty little grub that prefers to live in a hole in the ground rather than see spectacular beauty in business etc.
But in return, you get a lot to think about, and the possibility to dream bigger than just "getting by".

Mentors cannot control your financial destiny though, or your personal drive. So it really is up to you what you do with it.
I imagine that most mentees just sit on their butt and leave the mentor waving his arms in disbelief.
Most ironically, I think guys who ask for mentors are the most likely to not like being mentored, and will just give up.

All the information is out there if you can see past your nose and get over the fear.

Yup. Also, I feel you can't utilise what you have until you learn to overcome your fears.

 

[SteveO]

The main thing is, I don't know where to start. I know that is very broad, but it is the truth. I don't have any extra income to do anything with.

You said in an earlier post that you have not had anyone to guide you. I can totally relate. My dad worked construction and was not always around. I lived with my mom on welfare. I did not finish high school.

As an adult, I was pushed in the direction of construction. My family disagreed with me when I began changing directions. My wealthy uncle tried to discourage me from leaving my job to do real estate full time. But, I don't listen to the noise coming from all these different directions. There is enough to listen to just paying attention to yourself.

You start by paying attention to yourself. Pay attention to what is going on around you. Pay attention to life in general. All you need to see right in front of you everyday. Our focus is so singularly pointed that we miss out on all that is there for us.

Mentor? Not necessary.... It would be nice if one was there but they are not always around. There are not many people that I have dealt with in my business that I would like to emulate. Perhaps, like I said in the original post, I could take pieces from their playbook. But I don't want to be like them.

You can figure out how to move ahead on your own. How many people have bootstrapped a business from next to nothing and shared how they did it on this forum?

 

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[SteveO]

You'll never be able to accurately gauge what is right and wrong in one's personal journey due to negative opportunity cost.

I.e sure someone mentally masturbating and not taking action is bad, but what if they had taken a wrong action?

You're assuming that the person that forgoes the mentor will then automatically put their resources to the highest use and this will turn out.

Okay.

 

[Andy Black]

It hinges on the word "need"...

I need more money.

I need a website.

I need to go on a course.

I need a logo.

I need a business partner.

I need a mentor.


Is it possible to run a business without all the things we think we need?

Maybe we're putting all these things in our own way?

To prevent us from starting.

To prevent us from shipping.

Because we don't think we're enough.



Whenever I find myself saying "I need ..." I catch myself and wonder "Do I *really* need it? Is it possible I can do without it?"


The only thing we really *need* to be in business are sales/customers.

 

[RogueInnovation]

The way I see it is in terms of ego and validation.
In the martial arts there are two style types, "hard" and "soft". Hard uses the external in a very efficient way, maximising strength and leverage. Soft, is an internal form that requires a longer time to master, that fights the ego first before it moves and so eventually becomes wiser and more formidable strategically (longer endurance, better balance, efficient force, larger perspective and more control of exact outcome).

Hard styles "get you there", soft styles get "exact outcomes", through the control of ego manifestation (timing, ebb and flow, centralisation, equal and opposite reactions, and redirection).

Now in biz, money is external outcome, and brand or stability of a business opportunity is more internal. The most satisfying result is to have enough money (hard enough) and to create stability where you want it (soft enough).

When people want a mentor, they ALWAYS want MONEY it seems, and want survival, but what mentors want, is for the student to focus on the internal (and only as much external as will get them feeling confident). They are striving for an efficiency of investment and result, so that the student can achieve a more ideal outcome.

Now, regarding, what you mention in the OP,
I think that being without a mentor can lead you to "perfect the fringes" with your own unique balance of external/internal that exactly matches how DETERMINED you were from a flat footed start.
While being with a mentor can lead in MANY directions
- You try to learn how to get money faster and try to compete with them and burn the bridge
- You try to do what they say without any spine or ability to succeed on your own steam (they get tired of you fast)
- You use their wisdom to help you do enough external stuff, require less money, require less proof of how good you are, compete less, defeat your ego, retain a greater balance in the internal, and have time to focus on better perfecting ideals, and inner satisfaction and confidence
- Try to steal their stuff
- Peel off because you couldn't handle the heat and slowly settle back down into a weaker station (most common)
- Open something that is really cool, that makes your mentor be like "d#mn! I have a new helpful contact!" (happens now and then)

I think it is crucial to achieve what you say in this thread, for all the positive outcomes, but I believe that a mentor can make the difference in getting you away from the fringes, and can redirect your determination, so that it goes beyond its initial motivation and strikes closer to a bullseye.

I feel like most people do not seek a mentor for these reasons however. The reason they seek a mentor is for money, less fear, and an easier road. But if they do that, they will not achieve the better results underneath their mentor.

So what you say here is crucial as a part of the process of directing yourself towards, satisfaction and success, with and without mentors.
My only addition, is that mentors have a positive side too, and that this positive side requires a couple more skills than a keen eye.

The additional skills you need is
Money vs internal stability, balance
Handling the emotional turmoil that comes from changing your life direction
Removing green eyed mindsets, and removing antagonism, laziness, competitiveness on command
Keeping your creative spark, and developing your keen eye (like you said)
An understanding of perspective, of ego adjustment, communication skills (with those better than you)

And these lessons are hidden within EVERYTHING your mentor does (if you pay attention and are clever enough to decipher it).
And they actually are AWARE they are teaching you these things, so you have to lastly learn that, they WERE responsible for giving you the opportunity to learn all the above skills.


I suppose I mention my understanding of mentorship because I am in a way trying to learn to appreciate that my mentor was the one that gave me those opportunities.
I was responsible for LEARNING them and deciphering them, but without a mentor, I would have floated on the fringes, and been flat footed.

Additionally,
I see loads of people here who are flat footed (its kinda depressing actually), and it has caused me to realise that, being without a mentor makes you more "malleable" to circumstances.
So with or without a mentor, we ALL have to accept the responsibility for the malleability of our life.

My mentor made me much more aggressive. Because essentially, he forced me to face "what I was losing", or "what I was avoiding" regarding the malleability of myself and my life. I was aggressive due to not knowing how to handle having no knowledge. Afraid that I'd get things wrong and make STUPID choices.

Ultimately, you have to see beyond your uncertainty and realise that you are actually a fortunate person, who has the opportunity to observe the whole scene with objectivity. And you have to realise how much power that gives you. To respect it, and to be humble.

We are all struggling to overcome our own internal limitations and to perfect a feeling of satisfaction, and we use whatever we have to achieve that. How WELL we do, is up to how we use the opportunities given to us.


I leapt at my mentor opportunity because I sensed immediately that it was KEY, for me and would allow me to get into the business world with less wounds to lick.
I was kinda wrong though, because I ended up with plenty of wounds to lick anyways. And since then I have realised that its really all a slieght of hand. Designed to trick you to either give up, or to make the best of yourself.

Haha, I'm glad I did the later.


Sorry for the wall of text, I don't understand it all well enough to be as eloquent as I would like

I suppose I am really just saying, that we all must face our malleable nature, and decide to conquer it. Mentorship allows an objective viewpoint on that task, where normally you are left to be subjective about it due to circumstances.

I FEEL that you can milk a mentorship opportunity to achieve a better balance for your life.
Though, to achieve that, you must be up to the task (and it is no easy task)

So...
It really depends, will you step up in either scenario and succeed?
If you won't succeed alone, you have a chance to succeed with others. But if you are flat lazy, it doesn't matter which path you choose, you are screwed anyways.


Massive props to my mentor for penetrating my stupid haze and getting me going. It worked just fine for me x)
But massive props to those who didn't need that (I absolutely needed it unfortunately, but have made up for that by learning about the mentor process and humility)

 

[SteveO]

We are all struggling to overcome our own internal limitations

This is why we struggle at all.

 

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[SteveO]

I won't have to think at all about what to do, so I'll be able to focus on just doing it. I'll still have to put in the work, but I'm 100% sure that by letting go of pride I'll achieve results much more quickly. If it makes me a "follower" instead of a "leader" so be it - all I care about is getting results.

I already know enough about you to know that you are someone that works hard and doesn't quit. I don't want this to come off as discounting you or your ideas.

I have not had good experiences with hiring out coaching or most services for that matter. Shoot, I don't even trust the medical profession anymore as I have been misdiagnosed so many times. Someone puts on a hat that says "nutrition coach" means NOTHING to me. I would rather google and come to my own conclusions.

When I took over the golf course, we had a precision machine that none of us knew how to operate correctly. It sharpened our reels that made very precise cuts at .125 inches for our greens and had to be perfectly aligned in cut and height. So many things that could go wrong here.

One of the techs suggested that we call the machinist that originally set up the machine for advice. He walked into the shop and handed me a card that stated he was a machinist and belonged to some organization of machinists. Impressive. So he started setting up our precision machine. I immediately had questions. "Where is your reference point to insure that the reel is square to the grinder?" Him, "We don't need that. We assume that the reel is already square and we want to grind the minimum material off to get a sharp blade". Me, "I have the manual right here and it shows that we use this measurement device right here to set the horizontal and vertical position before we sharpen". Him, "I can't work in this environment, you guys are on your own". He again pointed to the card calling himself a machinist.

Well, I have experience with machinists. I understand datum points and measurement references. That card did not mean shit to me and I was happy to watch him walk away.

 

[SteveO]

Most people ask for a mentor to "show them every way to do everything they are afraid of".

Aha!!! So we get to the root of the problem. FEAR!

I am not saying that a mentor cannot help. Obviously they can be extremely valuable. A good mentor is extremely rare!

All the information is out there if you can see past your nose and get over the fear. Our only limits are the ones that we put on ourselves.

 

[SteveO]

Copy what others are doing has a fundamental problem, that you don't know why you are doing, the things that you are doing.

It is important to fully understand whatever you are doing. I am suggesting that you pay attention to the leaders and leverage what processes make them successful into your business.

Have you been mentored? If you don't, you cannot compare and say so easily that you don't need a mentor. Saying you don't need a mentor will depend on the variables. If time is an important variable, you need a mentor.

There are a lot of challenges with finding a mentor. If you have one, we all would be happy to hear of your experiences. The only opportunities that I have had in my business would be to actually go to work for someone. Seems to me that I would be slowed even more by this process than by doing without one. I understand my business very well because I pay attention and apply what I learn from others. I evaluate what others do constantly and try to figure out why it does or doesn't make sense.

I have never met anyone that was willing to work with me as a mentor in my business. I feel like there is a lot of dishonesty and cut-throats that I would not want to be associated with.

The biggest hole in my process is with raising money for deals. I have some experience but not a lot. The only way that I know how to develop myself here would be either to work for someone, or to dig in and learn the ropes. I can't imagine someone having motivation to show me how to compete with them.

There are a limited amount of people that have some type of mentor program like we see around here.

So many people seem to feel that they need to have one in order to get started. I worked on jobs in the past that seemed to require a lot of training. Some people would complain that they don't get enough training or mentoring from others. There were some people that would not look for the mentoring but would just dig in and excel.

My point to this post is not that you should not use a mentor. It is that you don't need to make that a requirement to move forward at full speed. Leverage!

 

[DeletedUser394]

Okay.

LOL. love it

Instead of needlessly arguing with anonymous people on the internet, I'm going to adopt the @SteveO philosophy.

Disagree with me? 'Ok.' You think I'm an idiot? 'Ok.'

Ok!

 

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[MTF]

And that's the problem with a lot of young people; they're waiting around for someone to lead, guide, and hand out the paint-by-numbers blueprint. "I'm looking for a mentor" is usually code for "hold my hand so I don't have to learn and/or take risks myself".

I agree when it comes to people who have illusions that a mentor can solve every problem. However, I would caution against having too much pride by thinking "I'll learn it myself; I don't need anyone telling me what to do."

You most certainly don't NEED a coach, but you would definitely greatly benefit from having the right one.

I've been doing things myself fitness-wise for the past few years (my own diet and training). I still haven't achieved the results I want so I hired a coach. He'll set everything up for me, tweak it along the way, provide support and keep me accountable.

I won't have to think at all about what to do, so I'll be able to focus on just doing it. I'll still have to put in the work, but I'm 100% sure that by letting go of pride I'll achieve results much more quickly. If it makes me a "follower" instead of a "leader" so be it - all I care about is getting results.

It doesn't apply to just fitness. Business is the same. A coach - no matter what you want to learn or achieve - can greatly shorten the learning curve if you don't expect this person to do the work for you. Let's not make ourselves heroes who have to figure everything out themselves or it won't count.

 

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[Kung Fu Steve]

You have hit some key points here. I think having support is a good thing. The problem is that usually requires a fee of some type. Perhaps it is my personal bias that we have to be responsible to ourselves. But, whatever works!

All joking aside -- a mentor is not the thing that will make someone succeed or the lack of one be the reason someone struggles.

But what WILL dramatically effect your life is your peer group.

Our lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of our peer group.

We rise to the level of standard of the people around us or if that's too uncomfortable, we find peers that are more along our lines.

Easy to spot here on the forum -- all the people who would rather chat about work instead of doing it all hang out together... and those who actually work hang out together.

 

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[Nadia]

Ah. A mentor.

I am a Certified Business Mentor and that sounds REALLY nice to say, but it means nothing to me. It's a piece of paper. Real mentorship comes from LIFE EXPERIENCE.

I currently mentor two people and they came to me and put forward a proposal of WHY they wanted ME to mentor them. They adore my straight forward, no nonsense BS style and the way I am able to bust through blocks, barriers and barricades of the human mind. I value the time I spend with them, creating a powerful being out of them. It is incredible.

For years, I never had a mentor. Life mentored me *laughs*. Life effed me up SO bad, that I took no choice but to learn from it.

However, recently, as much as I learned, I desire more. I was HUNGRY for more. So I directly asked God to stumble across someone who would be th perfect match for me and I promised I wouldn't be stubborn when I found him/her.

I found him a while back and the first interaction blew my mind. I'm not a woman who is often impressed by someone however THIS mentor of mine, made me jump for joy. I presented a very bold and direct request of mentorship, explained I had requested it from God and it turned up. He was amazed I knew the DIFFERENCE between coaching and mentorship. A mentor will literally SHIFT the way you perceive yourself and the world, at large. Within 2 months, I made more money than ever, I had a FULL in-depth scalable blueprint to run both my businesses, had an enhanced and deeper emotional relationship with my boyfriend, forgave anything that held me back and made me think SO BIG, it is incredible. I am so honoured he has partnered with people like Marie Forleo, Eban Pagan, Tony Robbins, Dan Kennedy etc etc to name a few.

A mentor isn't for everyone. However, if you are SERIOUS about learning and serious about putting it into practice, then it is a pre-requisite.

 

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[Synz]

Everyone I meet is my mentor. Take something from every situation - there's so much to learn, and an opportunity to gain knowledge should never be wasted.

 

[Andy Black]

^^^

Personally, if I have explained something and the other person doesn't get it, I don't even bother replying. I'm happy for them to have the last word. I'm not moving forward if I keep stopping to fight or explain myself.

Sometimes I may WANT to reply, but I don't NEED to.

 

[SteveO]

I have been contemplating of getting a professional coach. I rather pay for results. I don't want to be led by someone with no experience in what I want to achieve

I hope this works out for you. My question is that if these coaches are so good, why do they need to coach for a living?

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

This all sounds good in theory. In my opinion, if you really wanted the results, they would have been achieved already.

But SteveO...

I didn't have the time for that! And besides, you gotta have money to make money. And you know the market is bad, and the economy is struggling, and the government just taxes it all away anyways.

I mean, really, the only people who ever get any results have mentors. No one can do anything without one. What'd you say? How did the mentors do it themselves? Well, you see, they're special. They're different. I mean, they must have been born into money. They had opportunity. I don't have anything like that.

I just -- if I had a mentor, I wouldn't smoke so much weed. I mean, if I had someone to hold me accountable THEN I'd pick up the phone and start calling... then I'd find a product to sell... well, yeah, because the mentor would tell me to do it...

In fact, they could tell me all of their secrets! Oh, in their book you say? Well yeah I read the book but there must be some other secret they're not telling me... so I sure hope they'll talk to me so I can learn that one little secret and THEN I'll reach ALL of my goals!!!

Anyone want to mentor me? I'll be really successful, you'll see!

 

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[SteveO]

@Major is an example of what I have been trying to say. Where are all the Mobile Home Park Investors?

Some people see a direction and take it. They will find the resources and make their own experience. In actuality, a mentor may have actually slowed this guy down.

Let's look at this realistically. Any business management requires constant decision making and innovation. Does a mentor teach you that?

What do you do when the constant barrage of obstacles keep jumping in the way?.... It is important that you solve those problems and get good at doing so.

What about growth? This guy certainly is showing us his way.

 

[RogueInnovation]

You are opening a large portal into your inner self

Ha, is that dumb of me?
I just wanted to give the benefit of what mentorship was like and how it impacted things.
Also it still confuses me a little, so I benefit from sharing.

Honesty and vulnerability is my policy, because how can you change your actions if you never assess them honestly?

Btw, sometimes it is the mentors who envy US, and sometimes, they teach us things to recapture that moment of possibility, of choice. And they wanna play with the idea of who they might become if they had known different things.

Through being mentored, I learnt to, remove my envy of younger guys with "more options" and just understand, that there is this universal playing field where everyone is much more equal than they think.

 

[SteveO]

I won't have to think at all about what to do, so I'll be able to focus on just doing it. I'll still have to put in the work, but I'm 100% sure that by letting go of pride I'll achieve results much more quickly.

This all sounds good in theory. In my opinion, if you really wanted the results, they would have been achieved already.

 

[Fox]

There is a large difference between a coach and a mentor.

A coach is hired to get results in one specific area. Boxing coach, SEO coach, driving coach, speaking coach. They show you technique and you work on specific learning goals. I have quite a few of these in my life.

- Audiobooks
- Boxing and gym coaches
- Udemy courses
- Consulting with people with specific skills

These are all forms of coaching. They vastly cut increase learning speed and keep you on the right track. You should pay for these, but you should also be getting clear results in that specific area.


A mentor is more of an overall role. Its showing how to put different skills together to reach an ultimate vision. Its more about the bigger picture stuff - mindsets, values, life philosophy etc. @SteveO already covered this so no need to elaborate.

I have never had a mentor but have gained a lot from coaching.

 

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[SteveO]

I realize that it is easier if you have a mentor. Someone that would be available to you to answer questions as they come up. Someone that is there to prod you in the right direction. Someone that will slap you when you need slapping. Where are these people? What motivation would a person have to take an interest in your business or in you? Perhaps there are a FEW people out there that you could build a relationship with that might help to these levels. But, there are not many.

What is stopping us from letting go of the mental barriers? What is stopping us from seeing the process in clarity?

We are.

 

[randomnumber314]

Great post. I had a mentor once, great woman who created her own landscaping company in Tuscon Arizona. Well I wasted her time because I was so afraid of screwing anything up that I never did anything. We had weekly calls where I asked question after question about trivial things. (How much for a logo...) Eventually we stopped talking, and I got a job.

It's way to easy to think you have a roadmap for success with a mentor. You don't. You have to just start moving. Start something. Screw up a thing or two. Get into a situation you don't understand and figure it out. I shadowed a guy in my business for a week prior to opening my doors. He's doing well, but he does things differently than I do things. It was good to see someone else do it, but there's no reason to try and copy them completely--everyone's in different situations.

So yes, observe what is helping others be successful, but don't think you're going to copy them exactly and never make a mistake.

 

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