Where (and how) did you meet your spouse?

[Runum]

Completely unrelated to business, but I am in a position where all I do is work and go to the gym.

I woke up one day realizing I was slowly but surely approaching 30 years old and that I didn't want to remain single for the rest of my life.

And I freak out a little more each day that passes and I meet no girls.

Unfortunately, meeting women isn't nearly as easy as it was when I was a student.

So...where did you meet your wife?

I was working nights in a factory. A coworker said his wife played on a city basketball team and needed guys to practice against. I thought it was a good opportunity to meet healthy, active women. I showed up and met her. We married 6 months later. That was 37 years ago. I think we work well together. There were several women to choose from. My wife checked all the boxes on my list. Still does.

 

[Runum]

That's so wonderful to hear. Do you think there's a recipe to it? Besides being a match?

Great to see you posting again!

Thanks. Being able to find an equal partner was tough. Bar nightclubs were not good pools to fish in. I met plenty of women that didn't have their stuff together. They were waiting for a man to rescue them. I wanted a partner that had a track record of getting stuff done without me. The first year married was learning to live with each other's flaws. I had a lot of growing up to do before we became parents 5 years into the deal. Being a dad, responsible for another life, grew me up some more. When i started REI in 2006, it scared her at first but she always supported my wild ideas. Now if I came home after buying another property, it wouldn't phase her at all.

I have to say that we were vacationing in South Padre Island January 2022 when I got sick with Covid. i was in the hospital for 8 months. The winter weather and the beaches in SPI are very nice. We had saved up a pile of cash and resources to be able to travel freely for a year. She could have taken everything and left me in the hospital, I could not have stopped her. she could have pulled the plug. Instead she has come to visit and support me EVERY SINGLE DAY I was hospitalized. She learned how to manage the biz and books while I was incoherent. She still goes with me to therapy during my recovery even today. I think I will probably keep her.

 

[msufan]

I was working nights in a factory. A coworker said his wife played on a city basketball team and needed guys to practice against. I thought it was a good opportunity to meet healthy, active women. I showed up and met her. We married 6 months later. That was 37 years ago. I think we work well together. There were several women to choose from. My wife checked all the boxes on my list. Still does.

I'm hopeful the "her" you met wasn't your coworker's wife.

 

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[Runum]

I'm hopeful the "her" you met wasn't your coworker's wife.

LOL. No, my wife came drama free.

 

[Primeperiwinkle]

I made a list of everything I wanted. Then I asked myself a VERY important question. If there was a guy that actually had all the qualities on my list, “Would he like me?”

My answer was, “Umm I think so.. maybe?” So then I started looking at myself as a pro and con list. It was hard. I wanted to make it better. I wanted to adjust it a bit. Where are my +5 versus my -1? These are not in any order but to give you some examples..

Cooking skills
Cleaning/budget home management
Entertainment/hobbies
Conversation skills
Friends/loyalty
Family history (weird in laws?)
Religion
Parenting values in general
Money saver or spender?
Manners/personal appearance
Sex drive/touch/comfort

How could I bless a guy? How could I help him? Assuming I’m only going to get older and uglier.. how could I be a person who he would be proud to show off? Hmmm.. I should probably develop my character.

I’m attracted to guys who have a strong character. The first rule of Date Club?

Don’t be boring.

First rule of Marriage Club?

Be good.

Just be good, thoroughly inside and out down to your soul find some Aristotle virtue to pit yourself against and realize how far you are from reaching it but keep trying, o matter what. We will love you for that. Really. I know it sounds weird but it’s true.

What do you find really good in women? What do you appreciate, enjoy, like us, love us for?

Don’t lie. If she’s smart enough to deserve you she’ll figure it out. If she’s not smart enough to figure it out you won’t have a teammate in her, you have a sex object who won’t be good enough to raise your children. That’s fun but not marriage material.

I met my husband online, on this forum actually. He’s about three ft away from me right now studying some complicated chart on a topic I can’t comprehend. He’s humble, intelligent, and ruthless af. He smells like cookies to me.. all. the. time. It’s insane. He flew from England to meet me in Texas. Now we live in Spain.

We regularly look at each other and go “how the hell did this happen?” The one thing we always agree on is that neither one of us really understands what we see in the other. We’re both very aware of our flaws.

Love is as close or as far as we make it. What do you love in women? They will respond to that love. Start by being honest with yourself, just like you are about business. And follow your nose.

Your nose is important. Good luck.

 

[AmazingLarry]

I met my wife in kindergarten. My first memory of her is ripping her off in a Star Wars card trade.

I'm sure this isn't much help to you, but I would suggest getting involved in some type of group centered around a common interest/hobby. This has definitely been the easiest way for me to meet new people in the real world.

 

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[monnffffiiiiiii]

Completely unrelated to business, but I am in a position where all I do is work and go to the gym.

I woke up one day realizing I was slowly but surely approaching 30 years old and that I didn't want to remain single for the rest of my life.

And I freak out a little more each day that passes and I meet no girls.

Unfortunately, meeting women isn't nearly as easy as it was when I was a student.

So...where did you meet your wife?

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

Completely unrelated to business, but I am in a position where all I do is work and go to the gym.

I woke up one day realizing I was slowly but surely approaching 30 years old and that I didn't want to remain single for the rest of my life.

And I freak out a little more each day that passes and I meet no girls.

Unfortunately, meeting women isn't nearly as easy as it was when I was a student.

So...where did you meet your wife?

Chance encounter in a business meeting. Look at people you have around you. Certainly there are some girls at the gym you go to, some girls you maybe interact with for your business, maybe some girls at the pharmacy where you shop or whatever! You get the idea. Look around yourself for a girl you like and are attracted to.

I couldn’t give you any other advice. I never “dated” and yet I had 3 long relationships so far. I never went out of my way to do a special activity to meet any of the girls, or go on tinder or anything of that sort. You don’t need many opportunities, focus on converting those in front of you.

 

[AceVentures]

Hinge.

If we do everything on the internet, why is it taboo to set up dates?

When I was single I used Tinder for casual hookups. I started using Hinge to find a potential long term partner and it only took one week to find my now fiancée.

We just had our first baby.

 

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[Johnny boy]

The ladies call me papochka.

Not married but this is the perfect storm of finding a wife.

 

[Boogie]

Schools can be great. My life definitely got better after the all boys private high school. Though while I was there, I had a relationship then with a girl at a school for refugees where I volunteered. She was fantastic, but was deported.

I met my wife in calculus class in college. Another girl would try to move her desk near mine before class, but my wife ended up getting me. I got the better end of the deal. I don't deserve her. Getting her is the best thing that could have happened to me.

That's one beautiful thing about college, you're often a study session away from something. You can always invent a reason to talk to someone. "I missed something in my notes today. Would you mind helping me with my notes for a few minutes?"

Try for places that aren't meat markets. Try outdoor plays, eg. Shakespeare. Always a lot of women at Shakespeare, believe it or not. Outdoor events like music festivals can be great. We have tens of thousands of people who show up for free symphony events. Tons of hot girls out with friends. Low key places people don't think about.

 

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[AnNvr]

No please, try to void the dating apps. For real.

Tinder, Bumble, etc... From the 30s and beyond is plenty of leftovers: psychos, single 'mummas' with 1 kid mentioned in bio + 2 other kids to feed hidden under the mattress, milfs affected by Peter Pan syndrome, and so forth.

I am not saying that every player on a dating app is fake or mediocre, but if you are looking for something real and genuine, the odds are not in your favor. Although the internet of everything, I still believe in the ''cold call'' of approaching a potential partner with the risk of being rejected. It's more natural, it reinforces the patterns of human interaction and it can reserve some good turnarounds.

I met mine going to learn Salsa at the Latino Club and embarrassing myself among experienced dancer.
Trust me, you have to try Salsa.
That's a real deal!

 

[Roli]

Completely unrelated to business, but I am in a position where all I do is work and go to the gym.

I woke up one day realizing I was slowly but surely approaching 30 years old and that I didn't want to remain single for the rest of my life.

And I freak out a little more each day that passes and I meet no girls.

Unfortunately, meeting women isn't nearly as easy as it was when I was a student.

So...where did you meet your wife?

I already knew my wife before we got together, she was part of another group of friends I would see occasionally.

A friend invited me to his birthday and in those days we were quite lazy about partying (having partied all over the country and beyond in our 20s!) so I was having second thoughts about going into town and my friend sensed it, so he told me she was going to be there.

When I got there that night I saw her talking to someone outside the venue and went over to join the conversation, I sensed the guy she was talking to was rather I wasn't there and he kept trying to position himself between me and her.

Throughout the night I kept going out there trying to get in on their convo, in the end I gave up and went inside. Finally she came downstairs, as she walked onto the dancefloor, my friend whose birthday it was put on the tune White Lines by Grandmaster Flash.

As Flash was telling us not to do it, I shimmied up behind her and we danced, she looked over her shoulder and I bent down to kiss her... the rest is a beautiful history.

 

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[RayanMargham]

in my imagination

 

[Andy Black]

At work. I was an IT contractor. She worked in accounts payable.

 

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[tomzestatlu]

It´s interesting to compare different points of view.

I´ve recently turned 30 and I feel that as a man, I still have plenty of time. I have actually become opened to possible settling up, but if that won´t happen in next 5 years, I´m still relaxed with it. Actually I´m afraid that having a serious acquitance would negatively change my trajectory and put me into comfort zone.

I must say I think that asking older members of them forum how they met their wives won´t work. Social media have totally changed whole social dynamics and everything works differently than it used to.

I have done a lot of dating in previous years (it was waste of time and energy), but I think that now I know women and "market" quite well. The biggest mistake is settling for someone just not to feel alone. I think it´s important to set a "standard" that you require from your acquitance. Otherwise your life might end up in hell. There are too many broken girls nowadays that I don´t want to have anything to do with (still social media story).
HINT: choose red flags that immediately disqualify any potential acquitance

Where to find her?
This is difficul question. I think that it was normal to meet someone by coincidence. But there was much better enviroment do meet somebody like that. People were just used to talk to people. Nowadays everybody´s look is locked to the smartphone, covid lockdown´s made people asocial and people feel threatened by having a conversation with stranger.
But that´s how it is and we can´t change anything about it. Just go for it. I like the idea off approaching random women anywhere. How many times did you pass beautiful girl (and there was going on a lot of in your imagination) and then thought in your head "what if...". Just do it, there´s nothing to lose actually (it might be a street, gym, grocery store).
In Eastern Europe, it´s also possible to find a decent girl for relationship on Tinder. But I doubt it´s possible in the US (from what I heard). Another thing that came on my mind - ask your friend´s girlfriends if they have any single friends to meet (women are much more likely to start dating somebody from their social circle than total stranger).

 

[YanC]

Tinder. Believe it or not, it's the greatest relationship ever

 

[Kak]

Found my wife online. Met her for the first time at Landry’s.

 

[FastNAwesome]

We married 6 months later. That was 37 years ago. I think we work well together. There were several women to choose from. My wife checked all the boxes on my list. Still does.

That's so wonderful to hear. Do you think there's a recipe to it? Besides being a match?

Great to see you posting again!

 

[Bigguns50]

At the gym! Lifetime Fitness.