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NOTABLE! What would you tell your 18 or 25 year old self?

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MaxKhalus

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what a good motivation, I thnk I will do tomorrow :D
Don't waste time/money on a business. Get a strong freelance first to fix money issues. Passive income comes second.

Since 18 to 21 (today), I've wasted my life this way. There's still time.
 

SSTrey

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36 now.

1. Read faster:)
2. Start a SCALABLE & CENTS business instead.
3. Don't buy THAT car.
4. Focus more & increase my urgency.
5. Don't think of buying a house just yet.
6. Use that free bursary money to make more.

AND MOST IMPORTANT,

7. Don't listen to all the Slowlaners.
 

steve schweitzer

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The most important thing I would tell me 21 year old self is that everybody is NOT your friend.

Most of the people that I thought were my "friends" in my early life were just leaches that wanted to see how much of my free labor I could provide, all while thinking I was "helping" them.

I was a professional auto mechanic and you will be amazed at the number of "friends" you make when they figure out you can fix their car.

I now am VERY selective on who I am friends with and NO LOSERS ALLOWED
 

Metz

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  1. Find a profitable process you enjoy and the money will follow (that is, don't chase money, chase a problem to solve that you like solving and has value to others).
  2. Stop doubting yourself; any weaknesses you perceive can be fixed through learning new skills and finding good people to surround yourself with.
  3. You only need to be successful once. You only fail if you decide to stop trying. Everything else is a lesson to leverage higher chances of success down the line.
  4. F*ck the naysayers who laughed at you for not wanting the "typical" lives they complain about having.
  5. Don't waste time overthinking. Educate yourself but don't forget to actually do something.
Luckily I'm only 29 so while these would've been useful lessons to have learned earlier on, I'm grateful I learned them at all by now.
 

Lauryn

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You're making the right decision. It's now or never - and it's not so bad on the other side.

Besides, nobody knows or understands you better than YOU do - so screw their thoughts on your situation.

{25 was the age at which everything I thought I had - especially my marriage - crumbled and went to hell. I knew it was time to move on and fought with myself about how much to listen to everyone else about my decision. I was deeply depressed. Suicidal. Etc.}

I'm about to be 29... so clearly whatever I thought then ended up saving my life.

It's been a few years... and I honestly would add that this would stay the same, with some exceptions.

  • You're not obligated to "take anyone with you" regardless of whether or not you share the same family, systemic challenges, or anything that remotely matches you on the surface level.
  • Why? Because for these past few years, "taking everyone with me" has weighed me down and put me in the way of more obstacles and responsibilities than I needed to take on.
  • Unless you're equally balanced and know how to ground each other, practice celibacy (or semen retention for men) and/or get a strong "self-love" game. You have no idea how much people take from you just from having sex with you. Male or female.
  • Sleep. Gym. Healthy Food. Meditate. Isolate. Elevate.
  • Don't DIY - DIBYDS - Do it by ya damn self - don't share your ideas with anyone who isn't financially invested in the best possible outcome. Most of the time, that's you...
  • If you're willing to get paid by someone else to do it, please believe you still need some of those hours to work on your own brand/business.
  • Whatever "lifestyle" you aim to have, live it first, then build your business to fit the desired lifestyle.
  • Allow your customers to tell you what they want. It works. Your customers will literally tell you exactly what it is they want ... as long as you allow them to and stop being fixed to what you THINK you want to happen.
  • Get the f*ck off Social Media. I killed my social media accounts in March 2018 and honestly have been better since. Unless I'm getting paid, the illusion of making money via networking did not pan out... sometimes it felt like I was like being gaslighted publicly. It just wasn't healthy for me.
  • Get f*cking boundaries. No means no. Means no.
  • Thick Face, Black Heart. Burn it into your knowledge.
  • Establish as many blue oceans as possible.
  • You only collaborate with people you dream of collaborating with, not people who dream of collaborating with you. (Do not allow yourself to be the blessing for someone who is inequally yoked.)
  • If short term disability is available at your job, use it. You can use that time to get therapy if your job has literally destroyed your life, family, friendships, etc. (AUTO INSURANCE, CORPORATE AMERICA, TO BE EXACT).
I confess that I've become more "spiritual"/magickal and aware of mind/body/spirit connection and even "energy"... so maybe all of it won't seem practical. But essentially... stay away from everyone who isn't going to give you this money. Ignore / Kill energy vampires. Stay fly. Pay your debts. Do yoga.

P.S. People who call you crazy, dismiss you, and envy you are right in front of your face. Take note now, because you're not going to extend any favors later.

Hope this helps.

~ The Me in 2021
 

Lauryn

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The most important thing I would tell me 21 year old self is that everybody is NOT your friend.

Most of the people that I thought were my "friends" in my early life were just leaches that wanted to see how much of my free labor I could provide, all while thinking I was "helping" them.

I was a professional auto mechanic and you will be amazed at the number of "friends" you make when they figure out you can fix their car.

I now am VERY selective on who I am friends with and NO LOSERS ALLOWED

Everyone... including your family members and the person you sleep next to at night. Even your siblings and your children (of adult age ). No one is safe... and that's the real truth.
 

BriVi

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Oct 19, 2021
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Start doing sports today, right now.
Travel more.
Read more.
Don't listen to people who tell you that your ideas are weird and who don't believe in you.
Get more good friends.
Choose a job that you really like, regardles sof your diploma and your parents' expectations.
 

fastlaner_1992

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Nov 8, 2018
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For you 25 yr old+ guys out there, if you could go back in time, and tell your 25 year old self something, what would you say?
I tell myself to aggressively seek therapy and get to the root of your shame and fear.

I believe it's our childhood traumas that create the undesirable circumstances we face in our lives.

I had a friend kill himself because he had unresolved traumas and had he had been more proactive and respecting of that process he would not only be alive today but he would be thriving.

That's what I would say to my 18 year old self.
 

thechosen1

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I would tell myself not to burn bridges so often. Try to stay friends with people, even when they do things you don't like. Nobody's perfect, including you.

Also, I'd tell myself to get out there more and risk looking goofy or silly. I did not go to enough parties in college, meet enough people, or live enough. I was a bit too closed off.
 

WJK

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I tell myself to aggressively seek therapy and get to the root of your shame and fear.

I believe it's our childhood traumas that create the undesirable circumstances we face in our lives.

I had a friend kill himself because he had unresolved traumas and had he had been more proactive and respecting of that process he would not only be alive today but he would be thriving.

That's what I would say to my 18 year old self.
Or, our childhood traumas can be the inspiration that fuels our lives. Adversity is NOT the destructive root of all evil. It tempers us, giving us strength and flexibility. It's also just an event or fact that we can choose to reframe. The story can be retold from a different point of view. I am no one's victim. In my journey, I am a hero who accepted the lemon I was given. From that sour situation, I have made a nice pitcher of lemonade that soothes the parched throats of everyone around me. My determined attitude and fortitude allow me to live out that hero's role that I have given myself in this story. It's all bound up in your personal choices.
 
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Itizn

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Kind of copying a twitter post from a while back, but...

"Every single moment in your life that leaves an impression on you whether good or bad, will be longed for, by your future self. If you are facing your toughest times, it won't necessarily help you in the moment, but realize you will one day look back and feel sentimental about this point in your life"

My takeaway is that we are always making memories that stick with us in the long run, especially when you are young, so try and enjoy what you can from it.
 

Raven S

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I remember noticing when such a "thing" occured. And its deceptively simple.. its just 72/%=X2(stated as numbers of years)

I can only imagine what my past me would have done, with such powerful knowledge. - so what does this thing do? Just in case your none the wiser - I will explain. Devide the number 72 with whatever you get in return on your investments - and you will get the number of years it will take you to double your money.

eks. 10% would output 7.2 years until doubling.
 

fastlaner_1992

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Or, our childhood traumas can be the inspiration that fuels our lives. Adversity is NOT the destructive root of all evil. It tempers us, giving us strength and flexibility. It's also just an event or fact that we can choose to reframe. The story can be retold from a different point of view. I am no one's victim. In my journey, I am a hero who accepted the lemon I was given. From that sour situation, I have made a nice pitcher of lemonade that soothes the parched throats of everyone around me. My determined attitude and fortitude allow me to live out that hero's role that I have given myself in this story. It's all bound up in your personal choices.
Couldn't agree more
 

Raven S

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Of course 18 year old me would not have the faintest idea about what a cognitive function stack is. I would urge him to remedy this particular blind spot in his awareness of the world "as such". And as a follow up - I would give him a rule to live by, when it comes to finding a romantic partner. Intuitive Feelers, (xNFx) - really do not have the best of times living with (xSxx) Sensors types at all. "Figuring" this out IN a relationship is a solid recipe for wasting many years of your life, trying to solve something that seems perfectly solvable, but in all honesty, you would be much better of spending most of that energy with another intuitive.
 

analogue

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I'd tell my 18 year old self to either drop out of college or switch mayors... To stop wasting time because of a sunk cost.

And I would most definitely force my 25 year old self to stop trying to make someone else's bad decision work out.
 

Severe

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Mar 2, 2021
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Sometimes that voice in our head that is running 24/7 that is constantly telling us what we are and what we can do is NOT OURS. Sometimes it was passively adopted by other people and the environment. Remove it and be your own voice and you will find that it is never negative. Negative thoughts and feelings can only come from external sources.
How did you silence it please?
 

Chubbie

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I hope to be myself a year from now.

-Pay off your debt.
-No more fear. (Social or any other
-Keep studying.
-Integrate entrepreneurial resources.
-Go to the damn gym.

Easier said than done, but I think I'll do it.
 

WJK

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I hope to be myself a year from now.

-Pay off your debt.
-No more fear. (Social or any other
-Keep studying.
-Integrate entrepreneurial resources.
-Go to the damn gym.

Easier said than done, but I think I'll do it.
I would change your second goal -- Rather than no more fear -- I would say to do it anyway even when you fear. Fear is a warning signal that says there is danger. When you are afraid, honor that feeling and look into it. We still react as though we are confronted with a deadly tiger. Now, most of our dangers are of a different kind. Learn to evaluate that danger. Then, if prudent, do what you need to do in spite of that danger.
 
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Prince33

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My 18 year old self:
-Screw what your Mom/Family says and what society says you should be. Do what you need to do.
-Drop out and just get the GED, go to community college and transfer if you want to truly still go to college. And no, its not for 'losers'.
-Military is also a fantastic idea, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially when you dont have a pot to piss in and living in a unhealthy environment.
-Struggle with your Mom/Family together, or go out on your own and get your shit together so in 2-4 years you'll be good and can help yourself. THEN you can help them.
-Start a youtube channel in anything and stay consistent. It's 2012, itll be booming by 2015/16.
-Invest in Bitcoin.
-Stay serious about the language learning and pick a passion project. So by the time you're 23ish you can possibly make a living from it.
-Ask others online about big decisions. Preferably people who are doing what you want to achieve. And CANCEL anyone elses opinion if they haven't done it/gotten there.

Most of all: Be happy, and again, f*ck what others think. Do what you know needs to e done and don't let a single soul guilt trip you.

You will suffer for years to come if you try to live your life for others.

25 years old:
-Goddamnit, just pick one thing and focus on that, we'd be done by now had you did... and save goddamn money. Cant produce anything with no capital.
-Grats: Youre no longer a awkawrd social reculse and can approach and date 100+ chicks. Now you know you can put that shit on hold and get your life together. Lust can wait. So can affection if it comes with more cons than pros.
 

ZackSprague

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27 now, if I were to go back, I would say officially read books. Try out those entrepreneurial ideas you once had. Don't use credit at all, or not until you are financially responsible.

Learn new skills such as Web Design, Sales, Networking, Solving Problems.

Don't play too many video games or watch television.

Learn that your first girlfriend is not going to be your first love.

Family does not always have to be blood-related.

Build more confidence, don't be afraid to be a risk-taker.

Don't be afraid to live on your own once you have a solid foundation, don't believe in what everyone has to say.

Everyone has their side of the story, have an open mind, and listen.

Surround yourself with people who support you and your ideas.

And finally, we all make mistakes, don't dwell on the past. Get back up, learn from your mistakes and don't repeat them.

Don't be an action-fake, focus on one thing at a time. It takes months, even sometimes to be good at something.

"Don't be afraid to start over again. This time, you're not starting from scratch, you are starting from experience" - Peter Dinklage.
 
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Chubbie

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I would change your second goal -- Rather than no more fear -- I would say to do it anyway even when you fear. Fear is a warning signal that says there is danger. When you are afraid, honor that feeling and look into it. We still react as though we are confronted with a deadly tiger. Now, most of our dangers are of a different kind. Learn to evaluate that danger. Then, if prudent, do what you need to do in spite of that danger.
Agree.
But everyone's definition of danger is different. For example, the average person thinks rock climbing is a high-risk sport. But professional athletes feel it is an everyday operation.
For us, out of our comfort zone will be the best interpretation of "no more fear".
 

WJK

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Agree.
But everyone's definition of danger is different. For example, the average person thinks rock climbing is a high-risk sport. But professional athletes feel it is an everyday operation.
For us, out of our comfort zone will be the best interpretation of "no more fear".
Ah, so your rock climbing example is the difference between the beginner and the expert. And that's part of my point. Fear itself is not to be avoided. The more expertise you acquire, the less fear you will feel. And you will evaluate the situation differently.
In order to feel fear, you must push past your comfort zone. And I suggest you do that so you can grow. Our comfort zones are the very definition of self-imposed walls, that restrict us into a familiar space both mentally and physically.
 

Martin Z

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I'm not sure if I'm qualified to answer this as I just turned 22 but here's a couple of things that I'd tell my 15-21 year old self:

1. Ignore most people. Most people are clueless about life and have no idea what they want. Just like little rats. They don't have a clue on how to help you. I have a quote that I vividly remember since last year: "If someone doesn't live the life that you wanna live, then don't take advice from that person. Even if it's your parents, friends, siblings etc.". There's a reason why the 0.1% live the way they live. The 99.9% of average mfers think it's due to luck or some corny bs.
2. You don't have haters. It's fancy to play the victim today and act like no one cares about you. Bullshit. There are people who care. You just got to find them AND reciprocate the same towards them. UNLESS you have people who abuse your family members, f*ck with your girl or scrape your car because of jealousy, then you have haters. These are the "real" haters as they physically hurt the quality of your life.
3. You find out who your real friends are when you have absolutely nothing.
4. A job is never going to make you wealthy. I'm not talking about the gurus who make $10k-$20k-30k$ a month pretending to be millionaires, that income masquerades as a high paying job. I'm talking about truly life changing income, like $300k a month or $1 million a month. A job is never going to give you that(unless you play in the NBA or you're starring for a big Hollywood movie).
5. Network as much as possible with people who are above you in the areas you want to be successful in.
6. There's nothing wrong with having big material goals and using them to give you motivation, like wanting to own an exotic car like Lamborghini Aventador SV or a Bugatti Veyron(or a lot more if you're a car guy). Material goals are a huge motivator for many of us(including me). Even though a lot of people will say "oh, I'm all about experiences and not stuff" or "you're so materialistic. All you care about is money". People will throw these claws at you to justify their lack of it. Or "Yeah, I could afford that but I don't want to". BS. If you really could, you'd have it already.
7. Never give money to your friends, unless you create a real plan on how they're gonna be able to repay you back.
 
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Ivan Koretskyy

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MJ DeMarco" data-source="post: 326020" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch">
Just say "NO" to Amway. Would have saved hundreds and 6 months of my life. :bored: (Actually I was 21, not 25, but you know what I mean.)



:inpain:
I was fortunate to find your book unscripted because I was half way done with the book at the same time to being introduced to amway through a peer. If I hadn’t learned about the CENTS commandments, I would’ve been sucked in. Thank you MJ for saving me time and money.
 

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