What improved your life so much that you wish you did it sooner?

[Speculatooor]

Since my divorce 11 years ago I wanted to move away from my birthdtown, but for practical reasons (my kid was only 2 years old at the time) I stayed put…. Slowly I started to be more and more unhappy even though I chose to be near my family…

This year I did it. Took my kid an moved away and you know what? My kid bloomed within a week after moving… I thought the move was selfish need but after seeing how extraordinary happy My son became I realized it was the best thing for the both of us and I really wish I had had the courage to do that sooner than I did.

What do you think about that he might be happier, because you (as parent) are happier?

 

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[Bohemi]

What do you think about that he might be happier, because you (as parent) are happier?

Of course it has an effect on my kid that I am happy too, but in this case it was so obvious that he really needed the change too (but it has more to do with the Danish School system than it has to do with me). From the first day of his new school, he was more at home than he had ever been the old place (where he had been going to for 6 years).

i just didn’t realize exactly how much he needed to move too (thought it was mostly me, but no)

 

[DinoMidas]

Two that come to my mind now:

• Going back to combat sports. I used to train krav maga a few years ago and stopped when my coach was no longer available. In January of this year I got into MMA and it's been great. If I have a shitty day I always feel better after a tough workout (even if I don't want to do it before). I wish I started this immediately after stopping krav maga. I would have been a beast by now.
• Learning how to swim well, surf, and freedive earlier. I love being in the water and on a particularly good day it's as blissful as nothing else in my life.

There's also one more that I know in hindsight will be obvious. But I'm taking steps to rectify this as soon as possible...

Namely, living in a house in the countryside, close to a forest and nature in general, with a lot of land and privacy.

I now live in an apartment. While I have a forest right outside, I can't just walk outside in the morning and enjoy the nature first thing after getting out of bed. I can technically get dressed and go outside but it's not the same as having it just for yourself right out the doorstep. Being on the balcony is not the same as being on your own piece of land.

This, plus even if you have a nice apartment, you still have to deal with all the bullshit of sharing space with other people. I have loud neighbors, need to pay a lot in HOA fees, sometimes struggle to park my car, need to climb a lot of stairs (not bad for exercise but shitty if you're carrying anything large) and have very limited space. Then there's all the damn noise of the city and all the people around.

Hey, a young scuba diver here, loving the freediving aspect of diving, as well as a ex-waterpolo player and a future combat sports enjoyer. I' thought i needed to comment because i think we share the same values. And you are damn right, nothing is as beautiful as being in the water, even on the not so blissful day

 

[LateStarter]

My two are pretty common:
1) Start sooner. Just start. It doesn't matter what. You'll learn and find what works.
2) Pull the plug on a relationship sooner. It doesn't have to be toxic for you to be in the wrong place; get out.
3) Invest in real estate sooner. I plan to post an update soon but I'm almost at my net worth goal thanks entirely to real estate.

I also wish I embraced or understood some advice more completely. I heard the following from others before, but it never really sank in. "Success is a slow process. Progress and reaching your goals are more about small victories along the way than it is a series of monumental events. It sneaks up on you."

Also "Set bigger goals"

All of these I'm trying to impart on my kids now in their teens.

 

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[Two Dog]

Guess that still has to kick in for me ... or maybe it never will.

I am 41 now and I have a hard time getting my hands on enough healthy food to not go crazy over the course of one day. So it is Burgers, Fries, Schnitzel or Pizza almost every day. I could order more healthy food, but it gets more expensive and is just not nearly enough to get through the day.

If I want to gain weight, I still need to add protein and do a workout. Fat just isn't happening ... even with beer added into the mix, which I mostly avoid.
Not saying I am healthy - far from it - but genetics seem to make enough of a difference that here are no hard truths that apply to everyone.

The only way to eat healthy is buying and preparing your own food. No way around it. The effort is exactly the point since it makes you consciously consider exactly what you're putting into your body. It happens that I've always enjoyed preparing food and cooked professionally for several years. My wife enjoys cooking and baking. Not surprisingly, both our girls enjoy it also. They regularly read through cookbooks and Cooks Illustrated. Dinner parties are one of my favorite times.

Despite all that, the effort to plan, shop, prep, cook and clean completely sucks about 20% of the time. So be it.

 

[Two Dog]

The same things kept popping up and made me curious about actual references to each one. No points for statistical analysis, but I did read through the thread twice and made a popularity list. #1 was *easily* in first place. That became ten on a ten point scale with the others ranked in comparison.

1. mindset / philosophy => 10 out of 10
2. regular exercise => 8 out of 10
3. mediation / sleep => 6 out of 10
4. quality food => 4 out of 10
5. travel => 3 out of 10

Most interesting to me is the first three cost literally nothing to implement. Nothing. Yet those are the ones that the majority of people find the most valuable. Sure, anyone can spend a bunch of money on psychologists, gym membership, sleep gizmos, but it's not necessary. I'd even argue it's counterproductive since the personal proactive effort is the main reason it's helpful in the first place.

I've been watching this thread since the start. I cannot think of a single thing because like you said, it would change my trajectory. And I don't want that. There are plenty of things I still want to do and want to do them now, just nothing I want to go back and do sooner or change.

It appears you and I are in the visible minority here, vast majority has something they wish they did sooner.

I'm with you. There's really nothing I'd go back in time and change. I've read too many Monkey's Paw stories.

Part of that is probably from having spent a lifetime doing those five things above from a really early age. For whatever reason, that's how my life progressed. I was barely plugged into The Matrix at age twenty and exited before graduating college. Like @MJ DeMarco, my wife and our are both easily middle aged and in excellent health. Not a single prescription between us, no mobility issues, no physical limitations. That's worth more than truckloads of cash to me.

Maybe (not even sure on this) the only thing I'd want to have accepted earlier is that 90% is good enough. Maybe it's 80% or even 50% depending on the circumstances. Obsessively beating yourself to death for missing a single workout, eating a Big Mac, not studying for an exam, whatever the guilt trip is an immense waste of time. It's anti-productive. We're all imperfect. Think about why it happened, adjust and get back to the game plan. That might not be the recipe for Olympic perfection and a string of gold medals, but it's great for living and enjoying your life.

 

[Sefyu24]

One thing I should've done a lot sooner is stop smoking weed. You don't realise how much time and money you're wasting until you quit...

 

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[Tina Diaz]

What I wish I knew a little sooner was to let go of people who were not on the same page as mine, let it be my friends or family, I wanted all of us to be on the same path as I was, having huge a$$ dreams, but some wanted to live a normal job life and I tried so much to be in the circle, to be included got humiliated for not having a "J O B" that pays every month, and NOW I realize the journey is very different . And we need to let go of people and circumstances that are not helpful for our road trip. I lost myself trying to be included, that's when I realized, " Its either my vision and dreams or their friendship". No ANDs, Only ORs! So I learnt to let go!

 

[Benjamin Pavliha]

What improved your life so much that you wish you did it sooner?

Saw this question on Reddit and thought it was a pretty thought-provoking question that may lead to some interesting answers.

It can be whatever in any aspect of your life, both big and small things.

I wish I would have stopped drinking alcohol sooner. This drastically improved my life once I quit 2 years ago.

 

[NakedAmbition]

Quitting toxic jobs where I worked for micromanagers.

Ending relationships that were holding me back.

Learning about stoicism.

 

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[Dianne Cohen]

1.) The power of Hypnosis. I was a social phobe and it made me super unhappy. I made too many decisions because of the phobia. Hypnosis completely cured me of it.
2.) How I handled money. I am no longer a consumer in the U.S. sense. I don't buy "stuff" the minute I think I want it and let it pile up with other "stuff".
3.) Gratitude. Should be self explanatory.

 

[JDE]

1.) The power of Hypnosis. I was a social phobe and it made me super unhappy. I made too many decisions because of the phobia. Hypnosis completely cured me of it.
2.) How I handled money. I am no longer a consumer in the U.S. sense. I don't buy "stuff" the minute I think I want it and let it pile up with other "stuff".
3.) Gratitude. Should be self explanatory.

That's awesome man! What kind of hypnosis? Was it app based or you did it in person?

 

[advantagecp]

1. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I have been practicing for over 3 years, 4 classes per week. There is something about a combat sport which allows full-on sparring. It is like nothing else that I have ever done. My body never feels better than immediately after a class. It is a tremendously deep art which nobody ever truly masters. There is no end to it. And no, you are not too old to start. I started at the age of 60.

No matter what your age, walking around strong, fit, and able to fight permeates every facet of your life.

 

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[Hadrian9]

Not checking notifications when waking up. Gives you a great mental clarity boost.

 

[Oahnay14]

All right I'll chime in!!

I always find these questions fascinating - AND I've had many discussions with friends regarding this.

I'm not sure if its my personality, mindset, attitude, personal philosophy or overall life beliefs --- that outside of a very 'hypothetical' I should of invested X in APPLE in 1982 .... there is never anything I wish I did earlier, differently or at a different time.

I am under the impression that I make decisions to the best of my ability , with the knowledge I have at all times. Sure, I get 'swayed' emotionally from time to time and might make a decision that I wouldn't have made if I continued to 'overthink' the problem - but in the end - I am NOT regretful at all of any of these actions or decisions either - again I made it to the best of my abilities at the time.

I have also been trying to be 'aware' and cognizant of learning to separate actions I can and cannot control. Getting into a car accident, it is easy to fall back on 'I should of taken a different route to work', or 'I should have not sped through that yellow light' thoughts - and I try to separate sometimes what I could have controlled or not in those situations. Maybe if I took a different route, I could of potentially been harmed MORE , or died instead! I do not 'wish' I would of done anything different in this case...because who knows what the outcome of that could have been.

So it's hard to visualize 'should of could ofs' - as I live a very unscripted life as is, and feel that I am in control of all of my decisions and actions (to the extent I can control them).

If I chose to go out and party and be hungover, and don't workout the following morning - I don't start wishing I didn't go out or had as many drinks. I know I made a conscious decision to put myself into that environment and take those actions. Maybe I learned that I didn't like the results of my going out and drinking --> then I iterate and work on not going as hard next time, or not going out with specific people! Sure - I have lessons (which is a huge part of life) - but never a 'I shouldn't have done that specific action' regret.

No one makes me 'act' against my will. Sometimes situations force you to do one thing or another - but these are all again with constructs I have created and setup for my life (i.e. can't go out or work on my fastlane business because I'm watching my newborn, etc).

So this is always a topic that I fail to understand completely or have a good answer for - again might be due to my inherent nature of 'being', conversations, and philosophy that I have developed over the years.

Of course my mind, mindset, philosophy and knowledge became more refined (and there's pros and cons to that as well!) over the last 20+ years, but I do not wish my 40 year old mentality, thoughts and actions on my 20 year old self (what fun would that be..?)!

At the end of the day I ask myself (in a meta way) - am I in a pretty good spot in life? If the answer is YES and keeps being YES - then all of my decisions, thoughts and rationalizations worked to my advantage, and I don't sweat the micro.

That all might be wrong, and maybe there is a better (for some purpose) - or different way of thinking, acting and living. This framework has been working for me for many many years.

Excited to follow thread and read any and all responses though!

Wow, thanks for taking the time to write this out. You've actually given me peace about my place in life.

 

[Ing]

A long time in my life I used to visit old friends and new friends quite often. Maintain relationships.
About 10 years ago I began to change that to just taking walks. In the woods, valleys, wherever I was.
Now I do both regularly and its fine . Often I change walks to running. For example for gym warm up.
Working less and walking more.
Makes all life better.

 

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[Dianne Cohen]

That's awesome man! What kind of hypnosis? Was it app based or you did it in person?

Sorry, it took me so long to respond. I just saw this. I did a lot of free hypnosis on youtube and still do. My favorite was Joseph Clough and I eventually joined his group. All that being said, you don't need to join anything or pay. If you haven't been hypnotized a bunch of times, pick one issue, find a video/session that you like, and do it every day or more(I did and do mine when I am going to sleep at night and usually fall asleep listening) for a month if not more. My first issue was social phobia. I really wanted that gone. I listened every night(sometimes multiple times a night) for 3 months. For me it was like magic.

 

[Guyfieri5]

I've got a pretty cliche response but it is something over the last year that I've come to realize and internalize deeply. I think the most important thing you can do is stop measuring your success up to others. I've done this throughout my childhood and early adulthood and it likely has cost me happiness and focus. Happiness because it is impossible to live up to others' standards - everyone is given a unique set of advantages and circumstances in life - and focus because I have been looking outside myself instead of within.

I highly recommend measuring your success by your own standards and respecting your own unique advantages and disadvantages.

Play the hand you've been dealt and stop peaking over at others' hands so to speak.

If I had internalized this earlier I'm sure at the very least the last 20 years would have been filled with much less regret.

 

[Boogie]

I would have found some way to marry my wife sooner and built our lives together better and stronger sooner.

Removing myself from a relationship in my family is good, but has been messy and expensive. I should have ditched any relationship with part of my family sooner and avoided the massive damage it has caused financially and in relationships.

I would have stopped questioning some things sooner and put baggage, fears, and insecurity behind me sooner. As KAK would say, leadership skills solve a lot of problems.

Taking full responsibility for everything is almost freeing. It makes everything easier. I wish I had done that sooner.

On the other hand, these situations taught me a lot about myself, life, and the kinds of BS I will not tolerate anymore from others or myself. It has also taught me that even family might screw you in a second. Watch who you rely on. Make sure people can rely on you. Make sure you can rely on yourself.

 

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[dsc4u]

Stopping drinking 3 years ago and choosing love vs career to start my current relationship. Game changers!

 

[micky]

What improved your life so much that you wish you did it sooner?

Saw this question on Reddit and thought it was a pretty thought-provoking question that may lead to some interesting answers.

It can be whatever in any aspect of your life, both big and small things.

Realizing that my mind (brain) isn't what I what I feel inside my head but anything I can see (visuals), feel (sensation), and hear (aiditary) in the verse.

This has made me very SENSITIVE to world and try as much to be at peace with everything that surrounds me for my own GOOD!

Realizing again that, your INNER state reflects the OUTSIDE, therefore give PRIORITY to yourself when it comes to ATTENTION.
If your body receives enough of your ATTENTION (some call it meditation), it becomes charged and ready to face the world.

or am delusional?

 

[Tiago]

Fermenting my owns foods. Sauerkraut, water Kefir, Kombucha.

My digestion has never been better

 

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[dsc4u]

Fermenting my owns foods. Sauerkraut, water Kefir, Kombucha.

My digestion has never been better

Probiotics rule!!

 

[nitigyagarg]

What improved your life so much that you wish you did it sooner?

Saw this question on Reddit and thought it was a pretty thought-provoking question that may lead to some interesting answers.

It can be whatever in any aspect of your life, both big and small things.

Being honest , nothing has happened yet which changed my life for good. I will be adult next year and the only thing I'm doing is studying for my admission in engineering which I don't want to do. I don't want to follow the conventional path of if not doctors then Engineers that is when I decided to read fastlane .

 

[S.Y.]

Discovering the power of stories... in all aspects of my life. Capturing, crafting and sharing stories have brought more joy and fulfilment in my life than anything else.

I wish I had discovered it sooner.

 

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[Droopynips]

Stopping drinking 3 years ago and choosing love vs career to start my current relationship. Game changers!

How long were you drinking for and how did you stop? I am trying to quit as we speak.

 

[SleazyDan69420]

1. Google: tie shoe lace in 3 seconds
2. Meal planning (cook up a fortnight of food in a pressure cooker, dish out into glass containers and put in freezer)
3. Cold turkey blocker
4. using a calendar (physical and google)
5. losing weight (can be automated through meal planning)
6. calisthenics (I can do a one arm pushup, don't need a gym)
7. quitting smoking (read allen carr's easy way)
8. getting interested in finance ( Started with RMIB now i'm here. Probably the most important thing in life and really gives credence to the statement "The unexamined life is not worth living."

 

[todefe]

cliché as it sounds but health is wealth. stay hydrated!

 

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[cinquino]

What improved your life so much that you wish you did it sooner?

Saw this question on Reddit and thought it was a pretty thought-provoking question that may lead to some interesting answers.

It can be whatever in any aspect of your life, both big and small things.

I stopped consuming alcohol six years ago and this was one of the most transformative decisions I've ever made. I went from 5'10" 212 pounds to 157 pounds in a matter of months. I feel younger, I look younger. Being alcohol free inspired me to start a Transcendental Mediation practice where I meditate (at least) 20 minutes a day every day. I bought a nice Rolex Sea dweller with all the money I used to spend on alcohol. I'm happier, have full access to my emotions and thoughts. I never have to worry about being hung over. I exercise less and am in better shape in my 40's than I was in my 30s or even 20's in some respects. I just love it. I only wish that I never had that first drink at 15 years old or stopped sooner. Attached is a photo of when I was fat, drunk and bloated in my early 30's vs being sober and a lot healthier (and happier) in my early 40s.

 

[Droopynips]

I stopped consuming alcohol six years ago and this was one of the most transformative decisions I've ever made. I went from 5'10" 212 pounds to 157 pounds in a matter of months. I feel younger, I look younger. Being alcohol free inspired me to start a Transcendental Mediation practice where I meditate (at least) 20 minutes a day every day. I bought a nice Rolex Sea dweller with all the money I used to spend on alcohol. I'm happier, have full access to my emotions and thoughts. I never have to worry about being hung over. I exercise less and am in better shape in my 40's than I was in my 30s or even 20's in some respects. I just love it. I only wish that I never had that first drink at 15 years old or stopped sooner. Attached is a photo of when I was fat, drunk and bloated in my early 30's vs being sober and a lot healthier (and happier) in my early 40s.

Good job man, what was the final straw for you that made you quit alcohol in the first place? And what was the pivotal change that made the decision to quit stick? I had effectively spent 2016-2022 drinking daily. At first it was 3 pints of beer a day, towards the end I averaged about 10 standard drinks a day, and like you when I did the accounts I found I spent mid 4-figures on alcohol in the latter half of 2022 alone.

The catastrophe of having childhood traumas and enabling/borderline parents letting/wanting to me be a NEET meant I was able to pass out drunk once by afternoon and again to sleep. I relate with you with just sitting with the full scope of emotions and thoughts. I just sit with the pain now rather than drink it away. The pain of regret of wasting more time far outweighs the pain of just sitting with everything and so far that notion has helped me stay clean almost 3 months now, knock on wood.