What do you lovely people do, When you're down and out?

[Dan_Cardone]

I immerse myself in nature for a few hours. Walking, hiking, bike riding, kayaking. Anything!

I find it really helps clear my head and soothe my soul.

 

[PapaGang]

Its been a long while since my last post here, mainly because I have been working my butt off day and night to get phase one of my product out before Christmas.

Today (and yesterday) I have been repeatedly hit in the face by the overwhelming task ahead and I cannot get around it.
I am an elephant eater, it is my 9-5 job. But F*ck me the world wide web is incredibly big, and the more I learn, the bigger it seems to get. Still, if I had to go back four months and answer my own question, "do you really want to learn to code?" my answer would still be definitely, Yes. Yes Yes F*cking Yes! At the same time I am lost in the complexity.

I have never told you guys what I am doing before, but I am creating a online social network. A platform where people can connect in such a way that it hopefully addresses issues such as burn out , depression, anxiety which are all increasing issues in modern western life. My USP i will keep to myself for now, but the framework of the Web App is built upon 9 months of detailed targeted study and a lifetime of quietly witnessing social dynamics. I always was, and still am the quiet one in a group of people yet I always feel the need to be around people, in someway I am an introverted extrovert.

In my 9-5 i am an engineering design manager. I manage complex product designs for chemical processing plants from concept to delivery. It is fun, but right now I am managing 8 separate projects and recently (last week) I have additionally been pulled in by higher management to rescue a €20 mil project and get it commissioned and online by Christmas. It is a make or break career decision because I am jumping on to a nearly sunken ship and in the end if it fails, people will need someone to blame.

My priority is my own business, but with everything going on I am burning out, and fast. I am at work now and I just cant wait to go home and go to sleep. Every aspect of my life is feels like its stalling and I am so F*cking tired.

So my question is, does anyone else suffer from this and what are your methods to get back on track. At this moment I can see the following options:

• Take a break from my own project - Take a week or two off (really do not want to do this)
• Accept that it is just a phase and work though it - less efficient working (risk burning out completely)

So when I owned an agency, I faced some of these problems myself. I was once rescuing a big project, and it didn't go well. But instead of losing my job, I lost the respect and future business relationship of my client. It's one thing to fail at your job, but it's extremely personal when you fail for a client and you have no one else to blame. It hurts.

I found that my clients were my boss, and a number of them sucked, and I wanted to work on my side hustles instead. But when things got busy I:

• Was kind to myself, first and foremost. I listed the things I was doing, and my time spent, so that I could show myself how hard I was working
• Would make a promise to myself to get back to the side project as soon as I was ready. And I
• Trusted myself
• But I put the side hustle on hold, knowing that I wasn't the kind of person to give up.

If I were you I would do the same. Put the side hustle on hold.

I'm in the same boat right now. I have a family member with cancer. I work a full-time job while taking care of my parents on the weekend (200 miles away) and I have a son in high school that I need to support as well as spend quality of time with him because he's going to be 18 in a couple of years and when that happens he is gone. Forever. I'm not getting this time back. Where does this leave my side project? Sitting on the shelf most of the time, I might only spend 10 hours on it a week. But it's my vision, it's my mission, it's too important to let it die. I will get back to it, but I found you need to prioritize relentlessly, so trust yourself to do the right thing and give yourself credit for taking this so far. You won't give up.

You are doing yourself no good by burning out. The worst possible thing for you to do in my opinion. You need to be okay with taking care of yourself and giving yourself some space and taking a break, knowing that you will come back stronger and more committed. Do yourself a huge favor. Take care of the shit you need to take care of, and rest. But this work situation might not let up until you burn out, and that's definitely not a good choice.

-OR-

Ditch the job, sell everything that is unnecessary in your life, work out a bare bones budget, take an easy 30 to 40 hour a week job, and put your side hustle in overdrive. Most people are too scared to get rid of fancy sh*t in order to make their dreams come true (not saying you are living fancy, I don't know you.)

How committed and "crazy" are you to see this thing through?

 

[broswoodwork]

Its been a long while since my last post here, mainly because I have been working my butt off day and night to get phase one of my product out before Christmas.

Today (and yesterday) I have been repeatedly hit in the face by the overwhelming task ahead and I cannot get around it.
I am an elephant eater, it is my 9-5 job. But F*ck me the world wide web is incredibly big, and the more I learn, the bigger it seems to get. Still, if I had to go back four months and answer my own question, "do you really want to learn to code?" my answer would still be definitely, Yes. Yes Yes F*cking Yes! At the same time I am lost in the complexity.

I have never told you guys what I am doing before, but I am creating a online social network. A platform where people can connect in such a way that it hopefully addresses issues such as burn out , depression, anxiety which are all increasing issues in modern western life. My USP i will keep to myself for now, but the framework of the Web App is built upon 9 months of detailed targeted study and a lifetime of quietly witnessing social dynamics. I always was, and still am the quiet one in a group of people yet I always feel the need to be around people, in someway I am an introverted extrovert.

In my 9-5 i am an engineering design manager. I manage complex product designs for chemical processing plants from concept to delivery. It is fun, but right now I am managing 8 separate projects and recently (last week) I have additionally been pulled in by higher management to rescue a €20 mil project and get it commissioned and online by Christmas. It is a make or break career decision because I am jumping on to a nearly sunken ship and in the end if it fails, people will need someone to blame.

My priority is my own business, but with everything going on I am burning out, and fast. I am at work now and I just cant wait to go home and go to sleep. Every aspect of my life is feels like its stalling and I am so F*cking tired.

So my question is, does anyone else suffer from this and what are your methods to get back on track. At this moment I can see the following options:

• Take a break from my own project - Take a week or two off (really do not want to do this)
• Accept that it is just a phase and work though it - less efficient working (risk burning out completely)

It's f*cked up, isn't it? The powers that be will build multi-trillion dollar safety nets for people who don't get out of bed before noon, but people like you, the Motor of the World, are left clinging for life.

My problems are proportionately smaller than yours, but I think I feel you.

I've started taking a 1 hour vacation once per day to lock out all of the stuff piled on me. I don't know if it'll be particularly helpful for you, as you're definitely juggling more and bigger chainsaws, but maybe something along the same vein?

 

[Andy Black]

Go for a 45 minute stroll every evening. Relax and watch the world ease past.

Cut down those hours in work. You’re no good to them either if you burn out.

You likely already know that companies will keep filling up your in-tray until you push back. Your reward for working hard and delivering is to get an even bigger workload. So if you don’t have a conversation with them then they won’t know there’s a problem to solve.

Then consider how you can help someone this week, instead of learning and building stuff. Can you add value and get paid sooner rather than later? Can you leverage your current skillset and build side income streams (it’s the skillset that’s currently paying your bills right?).

With your skillset I wouldn’t be learning coding. I’d use my PM experience to get projects delivered. Maybe I’d offer that as a consulting service initially, then reinvest into getting a developer to build something simple to test your idea.

 

[Brewmacker]

Its been a long while since my last post here, mainly because I have been working my butt off day and night to get phase one of my product out before Christmas.

Today (and yesterday) I have been repeatedly hit in the face by the overwhelming task ahead and I cannot get around it.
I am an elephant eater, it is my 9-5 job. But F*ck me the world wide web is incredibly big, and the more I learn, the bigger it seems to get. Still, if I had to go back four months and answer my own question, "do you really want to learn to code?" my answer would still be definitely, Yes. Yes Yes F*cking Yes! At the same time I am lost in the complexity.

I have never told you guys what I am doing before, but I am creating a online social network. A platform where people can connect in such a way that it hopefully addresses issues such as burn out , depression, anxiety which are all increasing issues in modern western life. My USP i will keep to myself for now, but the framework of the Web App is built upon 9 months of detailed targeted study and a lifetime of quietly witnessing social dynamics. I always was, and still am the quiet one in a group of people yet I always feel the need to be around people, in someway I am an introverted extrovert.

In my 9-5 i am an engineering design manager. I manage complex product designs for chemical processing plants from concept to delivery. It is fun, but right now I am managing 8 separate projects and recently (last week) I have additionally been pulled in by higher management to rescue a €20 mil project and get it commissioned and online by Christmas. It is a make or break career decision because I am jumping on to a nearly sunken ship and in the end if it fails, people will need someone to blame.

My priority is my own business, but with everything going on I am burning out, and fast. I am at work now and I just cant wait to go home and go to sleep. Every aspect of my life is feels like its stalling and I am so F*cking tired.

So my question is, does anyone else suffer from this and what are your methods to get back on track. At this moment I can see the following options:

• Take a break from my own project - Take a week or two off (really do not want to do this)
• Accept that it is just a phase and work though it - less efficient working (risk burning out completely)

 

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[Wouter]

Sounds like you're nearing a F*ck This Event. You're getting to the point where you're going to have to choose between your own business and your job. What is the prospect of your own company generating revenue within a foreseeable period of time? Do you have savings that you can rely on for the coming X months? How bad do you want your business to work out, and how bad do you need your job?

What I see from your post is that your job is not going to get any less busy and that your own company will probably only take up more time. You're going to have to make a decision (not to add on any more pressure than you already feel on yourself...)

 

[Brewmacker]

It's f*cked up, isn't it? The powers that be will build multi-trillion dollar safety nets for people who don't get out of bed before noon, but people like you, the Motor of the World, are left clinging for life.

My problems are proportionately smaller than yours, but I think I feel you.

I've started taking a 1 hour vacation once per day to lock out all of the stuff piled on me. I don't know if it'll be particularly helpful for you, as you're definitely juggling more and bigger chainsaws, but maybe something along the same vein?

I have also started doing that too! Haha. Okay only 45 mins. After reading "why we sleep" i am taking 45 mins before bed without electronics. It is a really nice time of the day just to ponder and do some house chores. But it definitely helps.

 

[100ToOne]

Hey I hope you figure out the stuff that are bothering you.

I just had a random question,
Why are you doing: " I am creating a online social network. #learningprogramming" side business
instead of: " I manage complex product designs for chemical processing plants from concept to delivery #prolevelskill" side business?

Learning a new skill can take tons of time and tons of patience to see anything fruitful, whilst on the other hand you have a skill that you already nurtured for years that most people don't have.

What I'm trying to say is the story of MJ from TFM, he was driving a limo but needed to learn programming to make a limo-booking website, but in your case, you already have the skill and you know what companies need, why not make a side business on that?

Sorry to hijack the point of the thread, but I just figured that could maybe relieve you some stress from starting on something from scratch when you have a much valuable skill at hand.

 

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[Brewmacker]

Hey I hope you figure out the stuff that are bothering you.

I just had a random question,
Why are you doing: " I am creating a online social network. #learningprogramming" side business
instead of: " I manage complex product designs for chemical processing plants from concept to delivery #prolevelskill" side business?

Learning a new skill can take tons of time and tons of patience to see anything fruitful, whilst on the other hand you have a skill that you already nurtured for years that most people don't have.

What I'm trying to say is the story of MJ from TFM, he was driving a limo but needed to learn programming to make a limo-booking website, but in your case, you already have the skill and you know what companies need, why not make a side business on that?

Sorry to hijack the point of the thread, but I just figured that could maybe relieve you some stress from starting on something from scratch when you have a much valuable skill at hand.

Haha thanks for the input Yzn. You are absolutely right and this is my eventual long term goal.

I know industrial Product design and it takes time, resources and a lot of investment €€€ which I do not have.

My skills are honed towards leadership and not in the real detailed technical engineering aspects. I also work in a specialist field of engineering where the skills gained are not exactly transferable to the rest of the world. Unless developing market driven consumer products that can be sold world wide, I will be generating industry specific customized units. I hire and work with companies like this every day and I am yet to see a lambo parked outside any of the offices.
Customization does not interest me because it will never lead to an unscripted life. To much customer interfacing is required that cannot be done whilst hiking in Austria or surfing on a beach in Portugal. Understanding and interpreting the needs of customers is a job that I will never trust upon my employees, this is a skill in its own.

The reason for diversifying now is purely financial and an opening where I can give value has been identified. It costs only time to invest in e-learning and the eventual release of the product can generate income with close to zero investment. With the income from this project hopefully I will have enough money to set up a lean smart and cross functional engineering team and start making valuable products to sell on the market.

Learning to program is already impacting my engineering job in a positive way as it opens up a whole aspect engineering that has not been in my repertoire. I always signed of instrumentation and control packages a little bit blind, and now I can at least challenge contracts based on the complexity of the level of logic required.

To conclude, my skills are in specialized product design management. This is a transferable skill across many fields of engineering. In the end I will hire people to do the work I am doing now, but sometimes even a manager needs to get his hands dirty. Without gaining this knowledge I cannot lead effectively.

 

[BellaPippin]

A platform where people can connect in such a way that it hopefully addresses issues such as burn out , depression, anxiety which are all increasing issues in modern western life

I'll be the first sign up.

Being the topic of your business what it is, could it be you are just here to look for some validation to take a break? Feeling guilty?

IT'S OK TO TAKE A BREAK!

Is taking one or two weeks off your project to catch up on sleep gonna ruin everything? If you are knowledgeable in topics like mental health and burn out then you know well your body and brain are gonna say "that's enough" sooner or later.

You don't want to be so tired you're failing cognitively and then coding with a lot of errors only to have to fix them later. Get a few days even, how long do you think you need? Take a breather, it's not worth your health. You don't wanna be like "I made this app that helps support mental health issues and it only costed me my own mental health" lol

 

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[Brewmacker]

Right on Good to see you're chasing after something you believe in, sometimes seems rare in our country.

Haha, probably because I am Irish

 

[Primeperiwinkle]

I’ve missed your posts. I’m sorry you’re nearing burn out. It sounds like you’re putting out a LOT of energy.

I think you might just need some rest. You’re taking care of a great deal of people and I’m sure that responsibility weighs heavily on you. It’s quite possible that you DO need sleep and comfy clothes and just...quiet music for a day or two, to get your bearings back.

There are a couple things I do when my heart is weary or losing hope or I’m just kinda bottoming out.

First, I get out my journal and actually write out all my frustrations and complaints, my heartache. When I was first learning this technique I LOATHED it because I felt like journaling was stupid and pointless. Then I got challenged to write JUST my stream of consciousness for three whole pages. Literally, write ANYTHING that pops into your head but you have to keep writing for three pages.

When I started I would complain for a whole page about the writing challenge! I distinctly remember writing about how much I hated the sound the air conditioner was making once.

That sounds silly but it’s true.
Lol.. but then.. other stuff started just .. showing up in my writing. Little arguments, disappointments.. real hurts, real anger. Then I slowly but surely turned the exercise into an act of worship. I would thank God for the obstacles and the blessings.

I get really honest about why I’m feeling empty or broken or tired but then, because I’ve actually KEPT GOING and written it ALL down I know how to pray.

I need the comfort of space and time to pour out my heart. The blank page is nonjudgmental. You don’t have to weigh your words or judgments or feel embarrassed for petty grievances there. You can just explain and drop your burden on the page with ink.

After that, I make a decision to go find Beauty and spend time soaking it in. By that I mean beauty that touches my heart. The kind of beauty.. a beauty in the world which makes me wonder and stop talking- that speaks to me and makes me awestruck. I once spent an hour sketching a famous painting and I can’t draw at all but something in the painting of a stormy night and a boat trying to sail spoke to me. When we recognize beauty we reconnect with who we are.

This can be Nature or Art or Music or Literature.. but you want something that speaks to you of love and goodness.

Steven Pressfield explains Resistance in his book The War of Art.. and I think that’s what you’re up against every day. You’re in the process of creating something that will genuinely help other people. That’s brave and hard and so good. Don’t work yourself to death before you get a chance to finish. You just need to realize you’re human and need a little rest sometimes.

If you ever need more encouragement we’re here for you. Hugs. You’re doin good man. Proud of you.

 

[Brewmacker]

So when I owned an agency, I faced some of these problems myself. I was once rescuing a big project, and it didn't go well. But instead of losing my job, I lost the respect and future business relationship of my client. It's one thing to fail at your job, but it's extremely personal when you fail for a client and you have no one else to blame. It hurts.

I found that my clients were my boss, and a number of them sucked, and I wanted to work on my side hustles instead. But when things got busy I:

• Was kind to myself, first and foremost. I listed the things I was doing, and my time spent, so that I could show myself how hard I was working
• Would make a promise to myself to get back to the side project as soon as I was ready. And I
• Trusted myself
• But I put the side hustle on hold, knowing that I wasn't the kind of person to give up.

If I were you I would do the same. Put the side hustle on hold.

I'm in the same boat right now. I have a family member with cancer. I work a full-time job while taking care of my parents on the weekend (200 miles away) and I have a son in high school that I need to support as well as spend quality of time with him because he's going to be 18 in a couple of years and when that happens he is gone. Forever. I'm not getting this time back. Where does this leave my side project? Sitting on the shelf most of the time, I might only spend 10 hours on it a week. But it's my vision, it's my mission, it's too important to let it die. I will get back to it, but I found you need to prioritize relentlessly, so trust yourself to do the right thing and give yourself credit for taking this so far. You won't give up.

You are doing yourself no good by burning out. The worst possible thing for you to do in my opinion. You need to be okay with taking care of yourself and giving yourself some space and taking a break, knowing that you will come back stronger and more committed. Do yourself a huge favor. Take care of the shit you need to take care of, and rest. But this work situation might not let up until you burn out, and that's definitely not a good choice.

-OR-

Ditch the job, sell everything that is unnecessary in your life, work out a bare bones budget, take an easy 30 to 40 hour a week job, and put your side hustle in overdrive. Most people are too scared to get rid of fancy sh*t in order to make their dreams come true (not saying you are living fancy, I don't know you.)

How committed and "crazy" are you to see this thing through?

Papagang,

This is pure gold! Thanks so much for taking the time to respond and sharing your experiences. It is exactly the advice I needed to hear.

Your life seems infinitely busier than mine, but I see similarities in how life is going right now and I should definitely pay attention to my body and treat myself with kindness.

You have given me a lot to ponder upon especially with regards to prioritization. Truth be told, I have no idea if my social experiment will work and therefore it is a pretty big risk to walk away from my job even though I know where I would rather be.

As far as crazy goes, completely and utterly bonkers my friend! Best way to be!

 

[Brewmacker]

When I was a teen I’d take my pulse every morning before getting out of bed. My pulse rate would be high a day or so before I noticed any cold symptoms. Your body is telling you something.

Yep crazily you were spot on Andy, no burn out! I have been on my back for four days with ze "Manflu". No seriously though, i have been absolutely wiped out and could not even code at the table. Finally sitting upright to write this post.

I want to thank everyone here for their support and advice. As usual I post something on this forum which I think is quite clear, and you guys see a million different angles that I hadn't even considered. It was just the flu guys! Calm down haha!

No but seriously, I took all your advice to heart and took it into the fever to really reflect on what you advised.

Listen to Andy?
I have been building Andy! I think maybe for two weeks already, so we caught it early haha. Building has put the blinkers on. Its amazing what your can find when the blinkers are off. Thanks for sharing the posts mate!

F*cking Competitor?
My London based sister found a competitor (surprise surprise), a F*cking massive competitor and I really really love them. They are doing what I am planning to do just not with the same USP, method or structure. So I have identified their strengths (replicate) and their weakness (improve upon). It is really scary to find a direct competitor, but i have really missed that in this whole process. Now i have a bench mark to improve upon.

UX Design?
As i cannot code due to flu, I started UX design on Adobe XD. What a godsend! I have been so bloody stupid. I will formulate this whole process sometime, but for any budding developers out there, start here! Map it out! You can share it with friends and family and get direct advice as how to improve (helps massively that my family members are made up of business owners, UX designers and work for google). Actually F*ck friends, the only good feed back was from family because they truly want almost need you to succeed.

Logo?
Why not? Im sick gosh darn it!
Sent it to friends for feed back, all good, amazing fantastic.
Sent it to my google brother in law and i quote:

• Will: " Idea is great, execution is shocking"
• Me: (missing middle finger MJ)
• Will: "so I am assuming you did this yourself",
• Me: "yes"
• Will: "phew"
• Will "this is why the idea guys need to pay the pros to make their ideas come to life"

I was of course preparing something for professional work, but god I love him for his raw honesty. Surround yourself with these people guys.
PS The logo is awesome, just looks like a 3 year old drew it.


Upwork, sure who does not have a spare €20 grand lying around?

Seriously FML this is where the shit gets real. I am looking at a serious investment here. No kidding. I posted a job description and to be honest it was very well received of course, India is my best friend. Apart from every tom dick and harry posting how awesome they are, a few actually took the time to read the application and respond. One even had a beautiful blonde eastern European girl send me a personalised video. I took this absolute piss out of the CEO for that one but quickly told him that regardless, they invested time and energy to go above and beyond and we can open discussions.

So i will pull once more on your guys experiences here with a question: I am developing a app, not a wordpress shop. Do you know a guy? So many say i have so muc experience yet wordpress wordpress wordpress. I am really growing to hate that format.
(@Jon L dont worry the request for quotation will arrive in your inbox before every one else matie.)

So I have set up a few choice interviews tomorrow and let the teams know that the budget is tight until the MVP takes off. Once proven I can begin to liquidate some assets to invest to develop the mobile apps. I aim to get the web based app built for next to nothing, and invest later in the mobile apps. Hopefully i can negotiate this.

Conclusion is?

I really appreciate your support lovely people! It is not at all what is asked for, nor what i expected and instead as usual you always you go above and beyond why i could ever hope for. I am sick as fudge, but at the same time feel like I am winning again I really appreciate your support and I hope this response validates your efforts.

 

[AceVentures]

Brewmacker, first, I'd like to congratulate you on taking on so much responsibility successfully. It certainly is no easy task, and I can only imagine all of your other commitments outside of work and this business.

When I reach/approach burn-out, something I've started to do, which I learned from Tim Ferris, is called "Fear Setting". Essentially, I'll look at my worst case outcomes, and get myself to be OK with them. It's something that has almost entirely wiped my anxiety and allowed me to gain a new appreciation for life. I'm just generally happy, all the time.

A large reason why I feel this way, is because my downside is capped. Once I identify my downside, and I'm okay with it's occurrence, then I am reminded that anything I choose to GIVE today, is a choice. Because hell, if It's killing me, I'll just give up and do Plan Z (worst case outcome).

Give it a try, and see if it eases some of your concerns, anxiety, and sleep problems. Just remember, worst case scenario, we can move to Thailand together and live on the beach, giving English lessons to keep your tummy full. Which, to me, is an AWESOME outcome! I'm being overly simplistic here, but that's the point.

 

[Brewmacker]

I'll be the first sign up.

Being the topic of your business what it is, could it be you are just here to look for some validation to take a break? Feeling guilty?

IT'S OK TO TAKE A BREAK!

Is taking one or two weeks off your project to catch up on sleep gonna ruin everything? If you are knowledgeable in topics like mental health and burn out then you know well your body and brain are gonna say "that's enough" sooner or later.

You don't want to be so tired you're failing cognitively and then coding with a lot of errors only to have to fix them later. Get a few days even, how long do you think you need? Take a breather, it's not worth your health. You don't wanna be like "I made this app that helps support mental health issues and it only costed me my own mental health" lol

Hi Bella!
I will be sure to send you a link when the site is up and running. Would love some feedback from across the pond

I normally get so much positive energy from my project and I rush home every day to get stuck in. I really do not want to take a break and yes at the same time maybe I am looking for validation maybe that a taking a break is okay haha.

I stupidly added all the empty pages to my website and a google maps API so now it is really clear how much work that still needs to be done haha. Maybe by doing this it initiated the realization that after so long that I have only come 10% of the way.

I totally agree though, it would be nobelly ironic if I destroy my own mental health to save everyone elses haha. Thanks for your wise advice.

 

[Ernman]

the Motor of the World

Atlas Shrugged fan?

 

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[PapaGang]

@Primeperiwinkle Keeping a journal or log works miracles for me too.

 

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[Brewmacker]

I’ve missed your posts. I’m sorry you’re nearing burn out. It sounds like you’re putting out a LOT of energy.

I think you might just need some rest. You’re taking care of a great deal of people and I’m sure that responsibility weighs heavily on you. It’s quite possible that you DO need sleep and comfy clothes and just...quiet music for a day or two, to get your bearings back.

There are a couple things I do when my heart is weary or losing hope or I’m just kinda bottoming out.

First, I get out my journal and actually write out all my frustrations and complaints, my heartache. When I was first learning this technique I LOATHED it because I felt like journaling was stupid and pointless. Then I got challenged to write JUST my stream of consciousness for three whole pages. Literally, write ANYTHING that pops into your head but you have to keep writing for three pages.

When I started I would complain for a whole page about the writing challenge! I distinctly remember writing about how much I hated the sound the air conditioner was making once.

That sounds silly but it’s true.
Lol.. but then.. other stuff started just .. showing up in my writing. Little arguments, disappointments.. real hurts, real anger. Then I slowly but surely turned the exercise into an act of worship. I would thank God for the obstacles and the blessings.

I get really honest about why I’m feeling empty or broken or tired but then, because I’ve actually KEPT GOING and written it ALL down I know how to pray.

I need the comfort of space and time to pour out my heart. The blank page is nonjudgmental. You don’t have to weigh your words or judgments or feel embarrassed for petty grievances there. You can just explain and drop your burden on the page with ink.

After that, I make a decision to go find Beauty and spend time soaking it in. By that I mean beauty that touches my heart. The kind of beauty.. a beauty in the world which makes me wonder and stop talking- that speaks to me and makes me awestruck. I once spent an hour sketching a famous painting and I can’t draw at all but something in the painting of a stormy night and a boat trying to sail spoke to me. When we recognize beauty we reconnect with who we are.

This can be Nature or Art or Music or Literature.. but you want something that speaks to you of love and goodness.

Steven Pressfield explains Resistance in his book The War of Art.. and I think that’s what you’re up against every day. You’re in the process of creating something that will genuinely help other people. That’s brave and hard and so good. Don’t work yourself to death before you get a chance to finish. You just need to realize you’re human and need a little rest sometimes.

If you ever need more encouragement we’re here for you. Hugs. You’re doin good man. Proud of you.

Hi Primeperiwinkle, thank as always for your support and especially for the Hugs . I needed that.

Apologies, but I had no energy to respond to you last night. I did take your advice though and went to bed at 7pm Just put on a fictional novel on audible and chilled out in the dark until I fell asleep probably around 9 am.

Woke up for my morning workout at 5.30, got ready, got stretched and...no. Body just says "no B-boy, not today"

Conclusion, I think I am getting sick which never happens. I think the last time I caught a cold was 5/6 years ago.

For the next two or three days I will follow your advice. It is possible that I am holding too many ideas and information in my head and it is time to get it all down on paper in a structured manner. I am hitting a wall without a systematic plan to take it apart one brick at a time.

I am not unhappy or depressed, just feel physically and mentally weak and maybe a bit guilty that i cannot perform optimally.

This too shall pass

 

[Andy Black]

Also... something else I do when I’m overwhelmed from helping people is to ... go help more people.

It sounds counter intuitive, but I recently listened to “Give and Take” and it explained why.

A giver can get burnt out if they don’t see the impact their giving has on others. Do some extra giving so they can see the effect it has, and a giver can get recharged.

 

[Andy Black]

Really??? I went to bed at 7pm yesterday and my heart was pounding out of my chest, so loudly it took 2 hours to fall asleep. Also it was still going this morning when I woke up, hence cancelling my fitness.
Okay body I am listening and I hear you. Time to take a few days off and meditate on the past, present and future.

I'm worried for you. Definitely take some time out and breathe.

I recorded a private message to a friend in response to his hair-raising story here. He's ok me sharing it. Maybe it will help?

View: https://youtu.be/i8ejPEDfBjs

 

[Brewmacker]

I think I need to read this book based on some of what you have written about here.

Right now I would say I'm giving a lot and neglecting myself. And even though I'm getting them results I don't get to see or hear much about it whuch makes the work feel very unsatisfying.

I knew there was a problem with this kind of thinking, has been going through my mind a lot the last few weeks in particular and I just dumped a client because of it. It's my own fault for letting it happen though.

It is a great book that will change your outlook in life. Definitely worth a read. 'No more Mr nice guy' is another good book to learn how to set boundaries and give without totally giving yourself completely. I have to warn you there is a little bit of social calibration to be expected here.

 

[Entre Eyes]

Gym, Nutrition, Hydration, Sleep. We can't win if we are dead.

Remember the real life stories of people who overcame adversity.

You seem like a hardworking determined individual wish you nothing but the best.

 

[Andy Black]

Good to hear it was nothing more serious than man-flu. I’d consider that a shot across the bows. When we’re overly stressed our immune system isn’t at full strength. In other words, view the man-flu as a symptom rather than a root-cause.

I’m curious. Can you get customers or clients to pay for the build?

Oh, and I’ve been in business a couple of decades without a logo.

Get well soon!

 

[WJK]

Its been a long while since my last post here, mainly because I have been working my butt off day and night to get phase one of my product out before Christmas.

Today (and yesterday) I have been repeatedly hit in the face by the overwhelming task ahead and I cannot get around it.
I am an elephant eater, it is my 9-5 job. But F*ck me the world wide web is incredibly big, and the more I learn, the bigger it seems to get. Still, if I had to go back four months and answer my own question, "do you really want to learn to code?" my answer would still be definitely, Yes. Yes Yes F*cking Yes! At the same time I am lost in the complexity.

I have never told you guys what I am doing before, but I am creating a online social network. A platform where people can connect in such a way that it hopefully addresses issues such as burn out , depression, anxiety which are all increasing issues in modern western life. My USP i will keep to myself for now, but the framework of the Web App is built upon 9 months of detailed targeted study and a lifetime of quietly witnessing social dynamics. I always was, and still am the quiet one in a group of people yet I always feel the need to be around people, in someway I am an introverted extrovert.

In my 9-5 i am an engineering design manager. I manage complex product designs for chemical processing plants from concept to delivery. It is fun, but right now I am managing 8 separate projects and recently (last week) I have additionally been pulled in by higher management to rescue a €20 mil project and get it commissioned and online by Christmas. It is a make or break career decision because I am jumping on to a nearly sunken ship and in the end if it fails, people will need someone to blame.

My priority is my own business, but with everything going on I am burning out, and fast. I am at work now and I just cant wait to go home and go to sleep. Every aspect of my life is feels like its stalling and I am so F*cking tired.

So my question is, does anyone else suffer from this and what are your methods to get back on track. At this moment I can see the following options:

• Take a break from my own project - Take a week or two off (really do not want to do this)
• Accept that it is just a phase and work though it - less efficient working (risk burning out completely)

So, your inner self is telling you that you need to pause and look at what you have been doing with your life and your time. Do you need a course correction? Are you heading in the right direction? Are you spinning your wheels? Only you can tell yourself what you need to do from here. There are no easy paths to find your answer. But, the answer is probably elegantly simple.

 

[Jon L]

Yep crazily you were spot on Andy, no burn out! I have been on my back for four days with ze "Manflu". No seriously though, i have been absolutely wiped out and could not even code at the table. Finally sitting upright to write this post.

I want to thank everyone here for their support and advice. As usual I post something on this forum which I think is quite clear, and you guys see a million different angles that I hadn't even considered. It was just the flu guys! Calm down haha!

No but seriously, I took all your advice to heart and took it into the fever to really reflect on what you advised.

Listen to Andy?
I have been building Andy! I think maybe for two weeks already, so we caught it early haha. Building has put the blinkers on. Its amazing what your can find when the blinkers are off. Thanks for sharing the posts mate!

F*cking Competitor?
My London based sister found a competitor (surprise surprise), a F*cking massive competitor and I really really love them. They are doing what I am planning to do just not with the same USP, method or structure. So I have identified their strengths (replicate) and their weakness (improve upon). It is really scary to find a direct competitor, but i have really missed that in this whole process. Now i have a bench mark to improve upon.

UX Design?
As i cannot code due to flu, I started UX design on Adobe XD. What a godsend! I have been so bloody stupid. I will formulate this whole process sometime, but for any budding developers out there, start here! Map it out! You can share it with friends and family and get direct advice as how to improve (helps massively that my family members are made up of business owners, UX designers and work for google). Actually F*ck friends, the only good feed back was from family because they truly want almost need you to succeed.

Logo?
Why not? Im sick gosh darn it!
Sent it to friends for feed back, all good, amazing fantastic.
Sent it to my google brother in law and i quote:

• Will: " Idea is great, execution is shocking"
• Me: (missing middle finger MJ)
• Will: "so I am assuming you did this yourself",
• Me: "yes"
• Will: "phew"
• Will "this is why the idea guys need to pay the pros to make their ideas come to life"

I was of course preparing something for professional work, but god I love him for his raw honesty. Surround yourself with these people guys.
PS The logo is awesome, just looks like a 3 year old drew it.


Upwork, sure who does not have a spare €20 grand lying around?

Seriously FML this is where the shit gets real. I am looking at a serious investment here. No kidding. I posted a job description and to be honest it was very well received of course, India is my best friend. Apart from every tom dick and harry posting how awesome they are, a few actually took the time to read the application and respond. One even had a beautiful blonde eastern European girl send me a personalised video. I took this absolute piss out of the CEO for that one but quickly told him that regardless, they invested time and energy to go above and beyond and we can open discussions.

So i will pull once more on your guys experiences here with a question: I am developing a app, not a wordpress shop. Do you know a guy? So many say i have so muc experience yet wordpress wordpress wordpress. I am really growing to hate that format.
(@Jon L dont worry the request for quotation will arrive in your inbox before every one else matie.)

So I have set up a few choice interviews tomorrow and let the teams know that the budget is tight until the MVP takes off. Once proven I can begin to liquidate some assets to invest to develop the mobile apps. I aim to get the web based app built for next to nothing, and invest later in the mobile apps. Hopefully i can negotiate this.

Conclusion is?

I really appreciate your support lovely people! It is not at all what is asked for, nor what i expected and instead as usual you always you go above and beyond why i could ever hope for. I am sick as fudge, but at the same time feel like I am winning again I really appreciate your support and I hope this response validates your efforts.

If you're on upwork, my quote will be probably 4-10x their price.

I'd recommend you also check out TopTal. Their developers are vetted, and take pretty serious tests to get listed. They will be more expensive than Upwork, but, in my never to be humble opinion, its worth it. On Upwork, its possible to find good people. Its much more probable that you'll find absolute crap that will waste both your money and your time. For a non developer, its very difficult to tell the difference. I used to use a guy on TopTal who was an amazing developer. I've hired a number of people from Upwork, and with only one exception, had a miserable experience. One guy, with a 4.9/5 rating across years of experience on upwork wrote such bad code I fired him as soon as he sent in his first draft.

 

[Jon L]

Oh Jon, your sending me back to building mode hahaha! I thought I was done with PHP forever!

Thanks for the advice amigo and for the fair warning. It is strange that 90% of the people say dont bother learning to code, just hire someone from fiverr or upwork. Yet the one guy who does this for a living advises that it is a high risk path. I can understand both point of views, but due to the complexity of what I need I am not sure a wordpress site will hack it, definitely not in the long run.

I am kinda left scratching my head with this one Jon. Regardless I am going to finish the wireframe design and the specifications and release them for tender. This process will undoubtedly generate a lot of knowledge building and in the end I will have to make the decision how to progress with the MVP be it a wordpress site that will set up for future scalability or a homebrewed version haha.

Thanks again!

"Complex" and "Upwork" usually don't belong together. Like I said, there are plenty of people on Upwork that are great. Finding them is the issue. Edit: In my experience, you can't go based on feedback scores either. If your project is decently complex, and someone else's isnt, they'll give high praise, and leave you scratching your head as to why your project sucks so bad.

Seriously, check out TopTal. Get a quote from a couple people there. You'll thank me later.

 

[Brewmacker]

Brewmacker, first, I'd like to congratulate you on taking on so much responsibility successfully. It certainly is no easy task, and I can only imagine all of your other commitments outside of work and this business.

When I reach/approach burn-out, something I've started to do, which I learned from Tim Ferris, is called "Fear Setting". Essentially, I'll look at my worst case outcomes, and get myself to be OK with them. It's something that has almost entirely wiped my anxiety and allowed me to gain a new appreciation for life. I'm just generally happy, all the time.

A large reason why I feel this way, is because my downside is capped. Once I identify my downside, and I'm okay with it's occurrence, then I am reminded that anything I choose to GIVE today, is a choice. Because hell, if It's killing me, I'll just give up and do Plan Z (worst case outcome).

Give it a try, and see if it eases some of your concerns, anxiety, and sleep problems. Just remember, worst case scenario, we can move to Thailand together and live on the beach, giving English lessons to keep your tummy full. Which, to me, is an AWESOME outcome! I'm being overly simplistic here, but that's the point.

View attachment 28216

Hahaha, sorry for laughing out loud! But the 'we can move to Thailand together part' has officially cracked me up Hey I just met you, and this is crazy...but we can move to Thailand, if all goes tits up, maybe.

Seriously though, thanks for the sound advice matie. As a technical minded person this is a logical approach to an emotional issue which tends to fit is better with our personalities. I do not think it is not too late to use this approach now, and reflect on what happened if I am honest with myself.

There are some big ticket items which we discussed on the INSIDERS briefly, and this needs to be sorted out with top priority. Once it is solved it will be a massive weight lifted. Consequences of failing to complete this are pretty epic, even though it is out of my control at the moment.

Also work (9-5) has taken a hefty step up, as I offered to help out a failing project that is absolutely pissing money, time and resources. It has added a lot of stress to daily life and instead of thanks, or support from management, I get complaints that I am causing trouble and making things too difficult and complicated. Of course they know best, after failing to deliver after 12 years (7 years late, and 7 million over budget). Half the required documentation is missing or not generated and this is a serious serious safety concern. I have forced the team to start building the design from scratch to untangle them from the mess they created. This has been met with nothing but back alley bullshitting and gossip which arrives to me via my little birdies. Tomorrow I will have the discussion with our management, and either revalidate their trust, at let me get the job done or worst case I will retract my offer to help and walk away.

Wow! Very nice process! I feel lighter already. See you in Thailand Monday? haha

Based on the advice you guys have shared, I hope a lot of people can benefit from this thread. Thanks everyone

 

[Brewmacker]

Sounds like you're nearing a F*ck This Event. You're getting to the point where you're going to have to choose between your own business and your job. What is the prospect of your own company generating revenue within a foreseeable period of time? Do you have savings that you can rely on for the coming X months? How bad do you want your business to work out, and how bad do you need your job?

What I see from your post is that your job is not going to get any less busy and that your own company will probably only take up more time. You're going to have to make a decision (not to add on any more pressure than you already feel on yourself...)

Thanks for your input Creed. The "F*ck This Events" have happened too many times already this year.

This is not one of them. Savings are zero as most of my income funds my existing investments, so quitting my day job is not an option, just yet. My current investments are side walker investments that will eventually pay back in 30 years (property). I would LOVE to quit my job and go work at burger king with zero stress, but without selling up, my hands are tied.

I want my business to succeed, as I said this is my priority. I am just very difficult at this moment in time. Web development is tough, especially now that my focus is on privacy and data protection. This is a whole different level of programming than setting up a shop for example.

In retrospect, my question is how to deal with overload in the most efficient way? Do you push through or take the time to rest.
I am generally quite happy putting in a 80 hour working week but just not at the moment.

 

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[Wouter]

Thanks for your input Creed. The "F*ck This Events" have happened too many times already this year.

This is not one of them. Savings are zero as most of my income funds my existing investments, so quitting my day job is not an option, just yet. My current investments are side walker investments that will eventually pay back in 30 years (property). I would LOVE to quit my job and go work at burger king with zero stress, but without selling up, my hands are tied.

I want my business to succeed, as I said this is my priority. I am just very difficult at this moment in time. Web development is tough, especially now that my focus is on privacy and data protection. This is a whole different level of programming than setting up a shop for example.

In retrospect, my question is how to deal with overload in the most efficient way? Do you push through or take the time to rest.
I am generally quite happy putting in a 80 hour working week but just not at the moment.

As you're describing it, pushing through will is not likely to end well. I'd suggest blocking out time to clear your mind. If you're not going to the gym already, I highly recommend it. It's been an anchor for me over the past year. Do something physical to get yourself out of your head. The gym does that for me, for you it might be something else (sports, hanging out with friends etc). Those activities usually give you the energy to continue what you're doing in your job and with your business.