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BOOK What books are suitable for my 67-year-old slowlane father?

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tiagosoares17.22

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Does he read? If not, don't even spend time attempting putting him reading a book.

Now, if he reads, and sometimes ends up reading "self-development" books, the best way to get him interested on those is by offering one in a topic that he might have some interest but that might touch on things that you actually would like that he ends up reading.

With that said, don't be naive to the point of thinking you can help him change by offering him a few books. Try with many people as you want and see the end result.

I have seen my father lost a lot of money due to loans to friends, people taking advantage of him, etc, etc, and that changed him a BIT.
The difference is that he is not a slowlaner, so there is/was hope. It was hard work from my side, and still his, but you know what made him "believe" and see a brighter side again?! It wasn't when I was telling him about things. It was when I started to act and show him by results; not only by telling him but by actually doing it and showing him the end result.

In other words, the way I made him invest more once again, to risk here and there, to believe in people, was by being an example.

Be an example, and he might start to change and listen more to you.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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How many books has your father read in the last year?
 

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What are some books to rescue my family?
Does your father want to be rescued?

Has he shown any interest in self improvement?

Most people (the VAST majority) don't want to expend effort to improve. They will bitch and moan and complain for weeks, months, and years about the things that piss them off but they don't ACTUALLY have any interest in expending the effort to cause change in their lives.

If you tell us your father has tried different diets, seen financial advisers, started a few businesses, reads daily, and gone to seminars - that is a person who internally wants to change.

If you tell us he's just old and cranky and aging poorly - that's not necessarily a person who is seeking out change in their life.

So the question remains - does he WANT change? Or are you just concerned for him?
 

p0stscript

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Does he read? If not, don't even spend time attempting putting him reading a book
@Galaxy16 Totally agree with @tiagosoares17.22, if your Dad doesn't read you'll be wasting your time regardless of the book. On the other hand if he does read it will depend upon the genre, if he has never read a book the even approached the self help type many on offer could be quickly abandoned. Rhinoceros Success by Scott Alexander does not take itself too serious, and although not a fastlane book can help break old thought patterns and start someone on the road. Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins is very hefty and suitable for an established reader, but it can do what it says on the cover. Finally it's worth letting him read Unscripted and the Millionaire Fastlane, even if he doesn't get inspired at least he'll have some idea of why the hell you're so fired up.
 
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WJS

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(Administrators: Please reduce text size to normal. My mobile editor ceases to work.)
My father is aging terribly.
He is getting greedy, he is financially stressed and getting ill often. He is also physically getting weak.

He is a non-smoker and a non-drinker, but often destressed.

What are some books to rescue my family? And to rescue him from decaying? (E.g. Kevin Horsley - Unlimited Memory: Brain training).

What are some other books he should be reading?
@Galaxy16 don't bother with any books. Just read this thread:

GOLD! - 8 Steps That Will Radically Change Your Life in 30 Days or Less, Guaranteed.

Mind you, reading alone is not going to change anything. You still have to take actions and make it happen.
 

ZCP

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I will admit it really inspired me and I fully bought into its philosophy, unfortunately it meant I slowlaned for forty years, but since @Galaxy16 's dad is older than me there is little chance of the latter but every chance of it being inspirational. I'll add Og Mandino's books are of similar ilk and worth reading.
I find it gets people to start discussing money ..... something no one ever does. It also gives light at the end of the tunnel for those that are starting behind (large debt, etc.) ....
 

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Better yourself. A better you will influence your father and the rest of your family.
 

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p0stscript

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The Richest Man in Babylon ..... great read!
I will admit it really inspired me and I fully bought into its philosophy, unfortunately it meant I slowlaned for forty years, but since @Galaxy16 's dad is older than me there is little chance of the latter but every chance of it being inspirational. I'll add Og Mandino's books are of similar ilk and worth reading.
 

WJK

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(Administrators: Please reduce text size to normal. My mobile editor ceases to work.)
My father is aging terribly.
He is getting greedy, he is financially stressed and getting ill often. He is also physically getting weak.

He is a non-smoker and a non-drinker, but often destressed.

What are some books to rescue my family? And to rescue him from decaying? (E.g. Kevin Horsley - Unlimited Memory: Brain training).

What are some other books he should be reading?
You might try some audio books for him... BUT, first you have to find out what he likes. It sound like he's lost his personal mission in his life. I'm sure that you can do much about it unless he decides to re-engage. This is totally his choice!
 

JAJT

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He also claims that books are useless
"I see very little difference between the man that can't read, and the man that won't"

(paraphrased)

he does not know the concept of self-improvement unfortunately.
He prefers trash by BBC.com. "Hooray! Celebrities married! Politics!"
This sounds like a man who will not change, nor is even interested in trying.

The best you can do is lead by example.
Make a good life for yourself.
Be the change you want to see in him, and hope it inspires him.

Watch and listen for opportunities to help as they arise, but don't try to force anything on him as it sounds like he's made up his mind on that subject.

I love your desire to help but I see this ending in tears. Like I said - lots of folks don't want to better themselves. They just want to complain and hope the world changes around them.
 

p0stscript

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Galaxy16

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(Administrators: Please reduce text size to normal. My mobile editor ceases to work.)
My father is aging terribly.

He is getting greedy, he is financially stressed and getting ill often. He is also physically getting weak.

He is a non-smoker and a non-drinker, but often destressed.

What are some books to rescue my family? And to rescue him from decaying? (E.g. Kevin Horsley - Unlimited Memory: Brain training).

What are some other books he should be reading?
 

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Galaxy16

Galaxy16

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does he WANT change? Or are you just concerned for him?
Good question.

He tells me he is absolutely convinced by his current life state and content, but I know he wants a better life. He also is suffering from health complications.
He also claims that books are useless, only make the author rich, and that I should not act like knowing more until I "find work."
I am going to make his remaining life better

Of course, I always have a beginner mentality (mentioned in Valuetainmemt by Patrick BetDavid), but he does not know the concept of self-improvement unfortunately.
At least, he is still a slowlaner, no sidewalker. (we own zero Apple products and we drive a est.1999 Ford Focus, which is actually a really reliable and still comfortable vehicle).
 
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Galaxy16

Galaxy16

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How many books has your father read in the last year?
Not sure, but none about business (why would he?) or self-improvement.
He prefers trash by BBC.com. "Hooray! Celebrities married! Politics!"

Fastlaners however are much more resilient to politics.

Maybe, he read some online articles a few years ago related to his middleware job.
It was paid well, but half of it consumed by rent.
 

Bdenner64

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@Galaxy16

tl;dr - Stop trying to force change and "rescue" your father by shoving books down his throat. You can't control his decisions and mindset. Instead offer him support and be a good role model by taking full advantage of what you can control: your own actions and behavior.

....

Best way I know how to answer your question is by talking about my own experience:

I'm in a similar spot with my pop. My family owns a fleet of taxi's a dying industry that we're losing money on, but can't actually exit from without a complete loss. Nobody wants medallions anymore (which are insanely expensive btw).

When doing well my pop also invested in a dealership, but that market is also in a rough patch. He's also an older guy as well who is relatively set in his ways and how he does business, which hasn't adapted all that well to the new landscape...

In addition my family has also adopted a very slowlane mentality (I just graduated from college and my brother is still a freshman). Among other issues such as a pending divorce, multiple rent payments, etc.

Needless to say it's a tough situation.

With that said, and though I disagree with much of what is going on/has gone on, who am I to force change upon others? I can suggest it and offer new way of thinking (which I do), but it's not my place to tell others how to act and what to do.

The family business don't operate based on CENTS, so what? That doesn't mean that by shoving the books into my pop's face that he will change his entire outlook on how he operates the business. College, especially business schools are largely BS, so what? That doesn't mean that by shoving the book into my brother's face he'll dropout and become an entrepreneur.

When it comes down to it you can only really control and take responsibility for your own actions. Knowing this I'm committed to not just preaching the fastlane mentality, but actively showing my family that it can be done.

Whether or not they decide to come along for the ride isn't up to me - the important thing is I don't let em bring me down and that I support them in a positive and constructive manner, regardless of what they decide to do.

Another example is this entire forum/community... Nobody is forced to go fastlane. At the end of MJ's books you're not held over a fire and told to quit your 9-5 and start a new business, or else. Everyone who has explores this forum or read the books has had to make a conscious decision about whether or not the fastlane is right for them.

So, back to your father. Don't try to "rescue" him by shoving books down his throat in order to get him to change. Offer the resources, your support and honest opinion. Try to show him through your own actions that there is another way to think and act. Chances are if you lead then he will follow. If not then know you've done all that you can, ultimately his decisions are his to make.

Like the saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water, but can't force it to drink"
 

WJK

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Does your father want to be rescued?

Has he shown any interest in self improvement?

Most people (the VAST majority) don't want to expend effort to improve. They will bitch and moan and complain for weeks, months, and years about the things that piss them off but they don't ACTUALLY have any interest in expending the effort to cause change in their lives.

If you tell us your father has tried different diets, seen financial advisers, started a few businesses, reads daily, and gone to seminars - that is a person who internally wants to change.

If you tell us he's just old and cranky and aging poorly - that's not necessarily a person who is seeking out change in their life.

So the question remains - does he WANT change? Or are you just concerned for him?
I agree. Respect his decision and just love him as your father. You can't save another person from themselves...
 
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Galaxy16

Galaxy16

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"I see very little difference between the man that can't read, and the man that won't"

(paraphrased)





This sounds like a man who will not change, nor is even interested in trying.

The best you can do is lead by example.
Make a good life for yourself.
Be the change you want to see in him, and hope it inspires him.

Watch and listen for opportunities to help as they arise, but don't try to force anything on him as it sounds like he's made up his mind on that subject.

I love your desire to help but I see this ending in tears. Like I said - lots of folks don't want to better themselves. They just want to complain and hope the world changes around them.
Thank you very much.
He thinks he already knows everything after 67 years of life experience.

I am afraid he does not.

He is a very nice man however.
 

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