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We do what we WANT

SteveO

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This post got me onto the subject of wants.

We talk about all the things that we want and don't want. We then take actions that are counter to what we say.

If we truly want something, we will figure out a way to get it. Otherwise, we just think that we want it. In reality, we want something else more.

Let's say that you want to go to the gym for a workout. You come home to get ready but end up sitting down in front of the tv or game station and don't make it out to your workout. What did you really want more?

You can chalk it up to a lot of things, put blame on circumstances or even play the victim.

Perhaps rather than looking at your motivation, processes, and excuses, you should be looking at what your wants really are.
 

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Iwokeup

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This post got me onto the subject of wants.

We talk about all the things that we want and don't want. We then take actions that are counter to what we say.

If we truly want something, we will figure out a way to get it. Otherwise, we just think that we want it. In reality, we want something else more.

Let's say that you want to go to the gym for a workout. You come home to get ready but end up sitting down in front of the tv or game station and don't make it out to your workout. What did you really want more?

You can chalk it up to a lot of things, put blame on circumstances or even play the victim.

Perhaps rather than looking at your motivation, processes, and excuses, you should be looking at what your wants really are.
Great post!

As I've gained more experience in life, it's come to me that true happiness lies in aligning our actions what we truly want, rather than with what we say we want.

With the gym example...when I'm working 5-6-7 , 12hr on/12hr off shifts in the ER, it's incredibly difficult to workout and get enough sleep as well.

So I've stopped saying that I want to work out. Rather, I've said that I WANT to get enough sleep and feel healthy, and working out is a bonus. I'm much less anxious and hard on myself as a result.

*shrug*
 

Mike Kavanagh

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This hits home.

I like when I talk with others who say I should "do xyz and abc will happen".
I always ask, why don't you do it then?
"I don't have time", while clicking on clickbait Facebook posts.

If you want to do it, you'll make time.
If you don't want to do it, you'll make excuses as to why you don't have 'X'.
 

million$$$smile

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Perhaps rather than looking at your motivation, processes, and excuses, you should be looking at what your wants really are.

"Be suspicious of your wants"
Rumi (who was a 13th century Persian poet, but has gained popularity in America...)
 

Raoul Duke

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This post got me onto the subject of wants.

We talk about all the things that we want and don't want. We then take actions that are counter to what we say.

If we truly want something, we will figure out a way to get it. Otherwise, we just think that we want it. In reality, we want something else more.

Let's say that you want to go to the gym for a workout. You come home to get ready but end up sitting down in front of the tv or game station and don't make it out to your workout. What did you really want more?

You can chalk it up to a lot of things, put blame on circumstances or even play the victim.

Perhaps rather than looking at your motivation, processes, and excuses, you should be looking at what your wants really are.
Goto 2:02:22


“At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself:
‘I have to go to work—as a human being.
What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for
—the things I was brought into the world to do?
Or is this what I was created for?
To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?

‘—But it’s nicer here…’

So you were born to feel ‘nice’?
Instead of doings things and experiencing them?
Don’t you see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees
going about their individual tasks, putting the world in order, as best they can?
And you’re not willing to do your job as a human being?
Why aren’t you running to do what your nature demands?

‘—But we have to sleep sometime…’

Agreed. But nature set a limit on that—as it did on eating and drinking.
And you’re over the limit. You’ve had more than enough of that.
But not of working. There you’re still below your quota.
You don’t love yourself enough. Or you’d love your nature too, and what it demands of you.
People who love what they do wear themselves down doing it,
they even forget to wash or eat. Do you have less respect for your own nature,
than the engraver does for engraving, the dancer for dance,
the miser for money or the social climber for status?
When they’re really possessed by what they do,
they’d rather stop eating and sleeping than give up practicing their arts.”
marcus aurelius
 

Paul Thomas

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I agree and some truly want a real chance at 100% freedom more than they want present-day "security".
 
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SteveO

SteveO

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"Be suspicious of your wants"
Rumi (who was a 13th century Persian poet, but has gained popularity in America...)
Ha! Counter punch with an ancient philosopher. Perhaps his information is outdated because he did not have access to Google. :)
 

luniac

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This post got me onto the subject of wants.

We talk about all the things that we want and don't want. We then take actions that are counter to what we say.

If we truly want something, we will figure out a way to get it. Otherwise, we just think that we want it. In reality, we want something else more.

Let's say that you want to go to the gym for a workout. You come home to get ready but end up sitting down in front of the tv or game station and don't make it out to your workout. What did you really want more?

You can chalk it up to a lot of things, put blame on circumstances or even play the victim.

Perhaps rather than looking at your motivation, processes, and excuses, you should be looking at what your wants really are.

ehh I don't always know what i want, but I always know what i DONT WANT.
 

luniac

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So you work to not achieve what you don't want?
lol wait ur confusing me haha...

hmm yea pretty much i guess.
my wants fluctuate, but i NEVER WANT to go to my day job so my priority is to remove it from my life equation.
 

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Aaron W

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Funnily enough this is something I have recently been thinking about and even discussed with my dad over Skype.


I'm figuring out what I actually want in life.


Is it a business that allows me to have a fancy-as-F*ck lifestyle

Or the freedom to surf everyday and enjoy a bit of motion design on the side?

Maybe its perhaps something that allows both?


Who knows.

It's something I'm currently writing down every day to figure out the key points I want.



Like it was mentioned, a lot of people don't truly know what they want... and realistically that's fine.

Just always ask "what would the smarter me want?". Then you may get closer to finding out.



Anti serious note:

 

Mike Kavanagh

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So you work to not achieve what you don't want?
Everyone works to achieve what they don't want.

I don't want to be homeless, so I work a job I hate, to pay a rent I don't like, to live with people I don't get to talk to.
When I try to break-free, I get told I can't.

I assume this happens to everyone who is 'normal'.
 

Get Right

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This is a good subject. I've always been interested in the "towards" vs "away" part of our psyche. Do you move away from pain...or towards pleasure.

I think the idea of "want" can be studied in a similar manner. Let's keep this discussion going! Thanks @SteveO !
 
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SteveO

SteveO

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Everyone works to achieve what they don't want.

I don't want to be homeless, so I work a job I hate, to pay a rent I don't like, to live with people I don't get to talk to.
When I try to break-free, I get told I can't.

I assume this happens to everyone who is 'normal'.
If you work for what you don't want, then you are basically acting from fear.
 
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SteveO

SteveO

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This is a good subject. I've always been interested in the "towards" vs "away" part of our psyche. Do you move away from pain...or towards pleasure.

I think the idea of "want" can be studied in a similar manner. Let's keep this discussion going! Thanks @SteveO !
I feel that we should make our decisions and accept the results. We tend to dwell on pain and other bad things. We erect temples in our mind to remember negative events. We then revisit the temple frequently for use to show our victimhood.

We don't do the same thing when we experience pleasure. Instead, we accept it and move on with our lives.

Why can't we treat them the same?
 

Mike Kavanagh

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If you work for what you don't want, then you are basically acting from fear.
Agree wholeheartedly.
I was going through the mindset I see in most people.
Hell, most blue collar people have to work two jobs and still can't get out of the race.
Those people never get to see their family...

It hurts me when I see myself or my family doing those things.
I can only effect my own decisions though.
 

Ubermensch

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This post got me onto the subject of wants.

We talk about all the things that we want and don't want. We then take actions that are counter to what we say.

If we truly want something, we will figure out a way to get it. Otherwise, we just think that we want it. In reality, we want something else more.

Let's say that you want to go to the gym for a workout. You come home to get ready but end up sitting down in front of the tv or game station and don't make it out to your workout. What did you really want more?

You can chalk it up to a lot of things, put blame on circumstances or even play the victim.

Perhaps rather than looking at your motivation, processes, and excuses, you should be looking at what your wants really are.
Another wisdom bomb, and it relates to the adage that something has to "hurt bad enough" before change or evolution happens.

You can't force physical enhancement without consistent stress: Fitness 101.

This OP is great because it forces the laymen to think philosophically - about one's core principles, about one's axioms, the fundamental truths from which all motivations spring - which a layman almost never does.

This thread could actually be a thread about the subject of "focus," because if your "wants" and desires are perfectly aligned, then all you have left to do is act.
 

Runum

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I agree we should work on the positive instead of reacting out of fear.

I think we should also dig deeper into our wants on a daily basis.

We should really figure out what we want and why we want it.

Do we want something out of a need for the object to solve a problem or do we want the object to satisfy a feeling?

Are we going into debt to get a short term feel good or to further our lives long term?

Are we buying because we are told we need it to keep up or does buying it add to our problem or act as a temporary fix for what truly ails us?

Our wants control our lives and our flexibility with our lives.

Seemingly small bad decisions can result in a life time of not getting what you want. Those innocent decisions are very powerful.
 

AndrewNC

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Everyone works to achieve what they don't want.

I don't want to be homeless, so I work a job I hate, to pay a rent I don't like, to live with people I don't get to talk to.
When I try to break-free, I get told I can't.

I assume this happens to everyone who is 'normal'.
I don't want to live in the middle of north carolina (where i felt stuck 4 years ago).

If I ran away from what I don't want..i might end up in the middle of alaska....in the middle of kansas...or other places i personally wouldn't want to live.

But when I switched it up and decided "I want to live in Scottsdale, AZ....the path to get to a place that made me happy became crystal clear"

I used to run away from what I don't want. I didn't want to get rejected so I never asked her out. I didn't want to fail so I never started that business.

But I never got where I wanted...until I switched it up.

Some people are more wired to run away from pain as a motivator.
Studies have shown that more successful people move directly towards what they do want, like a plane going straight to Scottsdale, AZ at 800 miles per hour.
 

TonyStark

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This is true. Part of which, procrastination, IMO, is the key to success. You're doing something you'd rather be working on, than the task at hand. So why not go all in, and work on that?
 

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CaptainAmerica

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People always do what's important to them - but we're creatures of habit, and get stuck on things that were important to us 5 or 10 years ago. Or we do things out of obligation, or because we bought into a narrative that we never fully examined.

True story: I just published a book called "Liberation Through Discipline" - catchy title, right? The premise is to recapture your time by living your values. I published it too soon:

Last week, I was telling a friend about his native internal locus of control. He's understandably frustrated with a coworker who has an external locus of control. He'd never heard those terms; it was great to be able to put it so succinctly for him. But a few days later, he blew my mind. I texted him some sociopolitical spiel that got me torqued. He responded, "Didn't read the post, too busy controlling my locus."

Think about that. We're told that it's healthier to have an internal locus of control. Nice, but no oomph. Switch that to an active phrase: "I'm controlling my locus." Now we're paying attention to where our intention is.

Combine it with the fact that it's better to run toward something awesome than away from something painful, and you'll get more work done this week than in the previous month.
 

maverick

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I feel that we should make our decisions and accept the results. We tend to dwell on pain and other bad things. We erect temples in our mind to remember negative events. We then revisit the temple frequently for use to show our victimhood.

We don't do the same thing when we experience pleasure. Instead, we accept it and move on with our lives.

Why can't we treat them the same?
That temple is a great way of explaining this concept. I'm definitely stealing it.

I always use the example of people running for the bus. Whenever they miss the bus, their day is ruined. However, on the flipside if they do make it on time, it doesn't make their day.
 
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SteveO

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That temple is a great way of explaining this concept. I'm definitely stealing it.

I always use the example of people running for the bus. Whenever they miss the bus, their day is ruined. However, on the flipside if they do make it on time, it doesn't make their day.
Right?!?

I actually did not state that correctly. I meant shrines. We erect these and add to them every time that something happens to reinforce the feeling.

Road-rage is the easy example here. Many of us have built the shrine around all the injustices that have happened to us as a result of inconsiderate drivers. They damage our egos and sense of well being on a regular basis. With each incident, we add another decoration to our shrine. We must do this so we have the ability to pull up this image. Our recognition of victimhood must be maintained!
 

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Road-rage is the easy example here. Many of us have built the shrine around all the injustices that have happened to us as a result of inconsiderate drivers. They damage our egos and sense of well being on a regular basis. With each incident, we add another decoration to our shrine. We must do this so we have the ability to pull up this image. Our recognition of victimhood must be maintained!
Well...shit.

*hangs head in shame*
 
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SteveO

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As I've gained more experience in life, it's come to me that true happiness lies in aligning our actions what we truly want, rather than with what we say we want.
Not speaking for true happiness, but. Actually we clearly express what we truly want with our actions. They are just not what we always think they are. We say we want riches. Instead we play video games. We say that we want to grind out a good solid day of productivity. But, we surf the internet, read current events, and watch video clips instead.

We are doing what we want.... just not what we think we want.
 

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Road-rage is the easy example here. Many of us have built the shrine around all the injustices that have happened to us as a result of inconsiderate drivers. They damage our egos and sense of well being on a regular basis. With each incident, we add another decoration to our shrine. We must do this so we have the ability to pull up this image. Our recognition of victimhood must be maintained!
No. Screw you and that dude that cut me off 6 weeks ago. If I let it go, there's no justice.
 
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SteveO

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I tell ya... Post something that seems very relevant to what some people need, and it just falls into the infinite tunnel of the web.
 

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