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University is making me sick

jerryB

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Hi,

I'm on my last year of Computer Science. I already have a bachelor degree in Computer Science but now I'm on the last year of my master. I'm also working on my own business but that's not the point here.
The bachelor went quite smooth, but I'm really struggling with the master studies since I discovered that I hate computer science and programming and I don't have talent for it whatsoever.

As I said, I hate programming. It makes me miserable. I don't have a "drive" for it whatsoever. I began with it in the first place because I was motivated by money..programming is a good job. I worked as a developer before and money was great, but my problem was always being this guy with least talent in the room and the guy that struggled with everything.
I hate it, I don't have any talent for it, I struggle with it and I wanna quit it for good. I have talent for many other things which I abandoned because I thought that I would become an excellent developer which obviously didn't happen.

My parents are being problematic here. They keep "motivating" me to finish my major, whereas I'm getting depressed because I hate my it. I hate the stupid and useless subjects. There are kids at the university who just love programming, love computer science and are having fun doing it. I'm not having fun at all.

So yeah, I have this pressure from my parents but I also fear the future, because I spent like 4 years studying this shit and came to conclusion that it was a bad choice, because I don't actually have a talent for it and went there to "get a good job". But what's the point in having a "good job" when the job makes you miserable?

My parents are from the old generation: "get your degree, get a job, get a mortgage, a car, a wife, kids, dog and spend your life working 9-5" and I feel this pressure from them and I have this feeling that I'm not fulfilling their expectations or I don't know. It's just I'm really attached to them and truth be told don't have guts to say "no" to them.

I'm not asking what I should do but what you guys would do in my situation? Would you quit the university and focus on the things you love doing?
 
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palneoon

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Finish your degree.

That's your start.

You do not drop out at the end, especially since you are not jumping ship to something better anyway.

Then you leverage degree and knowledge into something better than programming for a living.

You can manage technical people. You will never need to touch a compiler, but your studies will become valuable as you understand what they're talking about.

You can leverage it to go into tech sales. As far as sales jobs go, that's amongst the best you can get.

You can use it as a competitive advantage if you want to start a business in some technological niche -- an understanding of CS is great to have.

Basically, get your degree, get your CS skills, and go do business/sales.

Toughen it out. Whether you like it or not.

Why?

Because the marginal cost at this point is low and the benefits are high.

If you need motivation, think of it this way:

It's a gym to prepare you for the business world.
If you can't toughen out some schooling, you ain't going to last a minute with the sharks.

EDIT/PS:

I am speaking from experience. Remarkably similar situation, actually.

Only I made all the wrong choices.
 

BellaPippin

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If it was me, I'd also suck it up and finish it. And all the other advise above.

If you drop that now, what are you gonna have to show for all that debt? Might as well have the credentials, you never know when they may come in handy. My bf has the bachelor only and gets bombarded with 100k+/yr from recruiters. If something happened you could easily get something temporarily to say, raise funds. Or the skills and networking you get might come in handy in the future. And like Palneoon said it's not like you're dropping because your venture exploded.

If you drop now you will have no degree and all that debt for nothing. It was tough for me the last couple semesters and it wasn't even a master, I was dealing with a ton of stuff at the time. But I'm soooooo glad I pushed through looking back. You can do it, it's the last stretch.
 

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I'm not in debt. Luckily the university in my country is "free". (I live in Europe).

Nice, one less thing to worry about.

The other points are still relevant though, in my opinion. I feel it would be more justified to drop off and scratch the time/money invested if you had somewhere to jump.

Edit - idk, even thought I'm very unconstant there's a few things that once I've gotten to a certain point I feel I gotta finish it, you know? That's just me.
 

jon.M

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Life is suffering. Think of that stupid, useless and depressing university as basic training. When you get out on the other side with your degree, you have proven yourself. You will be qualified to deal with whatever other stupid, un-fun, depressing shit you'll certainly have to endure in the future.

Russians who had been in the Siberian Gulags were tougher than the rest. It was not because the Gulags made them that way, but because the tough were the only ones to make it through. Obviously university is a cakewalk in comparison, but make of that what you will.
 

NursingTn

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Time is the most precious commodity you have. Consider what you want in the end, and reverse engineer the steps needed to get to where you want to be at...

I can't tell you to leave or stay in your program. I can tell you that I left my master program when I only had one year left. Why?

I couldn't care less anymore about it. I did not want to use anything from it, not even in entrepreneurship. To me, it was a gigantic waste of one of my most precious commodities: Time.

You see, you are only getting older. You won't get this time back. If you know you have other things you can do that you that are meaningful to you, and that you will work on them if you quit the program, then I think quitting the program is a wise decision.

If you don't have anything meaningful to do with the time you get back from leaving the program, and you still quit the program, then I think that's also a wise decision. At least you now know that you want something else from your life, and you can begin the journey of finding out what you want.

Whatever you decide, don't listen to either side saying stay or leave. They aren't living your life. They don't know you as well as you know yourself. They don't know how badly you must be feeling. You, sir, will need to take the bull by the horn and make the decision yourself.

Good luck.
 
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GrandRub

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whats your business? if your business has a good perspective and you are motivated and driven to work in your business - then do this. why do one more year of something that isnt useful.

programming is a very broad field - nothing is interesting for you? what is interesting for you? what gives you energy and motivation?


maybe you just need a year of doing things that are in your mind. work on your busines. "quitting" isnt a on/off thing. your CP wont go to the trash. and maybe after a year you are happy to go back to university - or you are glad that you did the jump.

dont listen to your parents. they wont do you harm ... but YOU have to live your live. they just want the "best" - a good, quiet, stable, secured and scripted live.
 

jerryB

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GrandRub
There are some fields of programming which I find interesting for instance frontend development.
What gives me energy and motivation? Going to gym, learning foreign languages, creating music, teaching. Foreign languages is the thing I've always loved and have been able to learn them quite quickly. I feel like I have a great talent when it comes to languages and I want to do something in this area. I want to finally do things which I find interesting and I love doing ("love what you do"), instead of studying something that will give me the job I hate. It took me a few years to realize what I really want to do/achieve in life.

NursingTn
Thank you. What can I say, I can totally relate. I feel like a piece of shit doing this major in CS. My choice of this studies was based on financial reasons. I didn't even think that I wouldn't be able to tolerate it this much.
 

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Thank you. What can I say, I can totally relate. I feel like a piece of shit doing this major in CS. My choice of this studies was based on financial reasons. I didn't even think that I wouldn't be able to tolerate it this much.
I have a degree in Engineering... and I never worked a single day as an Engineer. What degree you have doesn't have to define you.

I love marketing & sales, and I was doing copywriting work and starting businesses even before the university. Attending didn't change a thing. There was also pressure from my parents. Just get your degree, and do what you want. You don't have to work in the same field that you studied. If your dream is being a musician or teaching foreign languages, then go do that. You can make a TON of $$$$ out of anything, I promise you that.

Majoring in CS was a good experience - you learned a lot of shit out of it about yourself and it is this pain which allows you to reposition yourself towards what you love doing. Be grateful for it. Life isn't easy.

At least you'll have that degree to earn $100K per year and you can be sure you won't ever starve. That's more than enough to ask for, considering that millions of people don't even have the chance to attend university at all. You hate CS, but you can F*cking do it if that's what it takes to survive. Many can't.

Nobody will serve your dream on a silver platter. And getting your dream handed to you on a silver platter actually ruins it. It is the hydra that made Hercules into Hercules... Who would Hercules have been without the Hydra?
 
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GrandRub

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GrandRub
There are some fields of programming which I find interesting for instance frontend development.
What gives me energy and motivation? Going to gym, learning foreign languages, creating music, teaching. Foreign languages is the thing I've always loved and have been able to learn them quite quickly. I feel like I have a great talent when it comes to languages and I want to do something in this area. I want to finally do things which I find interesting and I love doing ("love what you do"), instead of studying something that will give me the job I hate. It took me a few years to realize what I really want to do/achieve in life.

If i were you i would have a look at the whole "Digital Nomad" Lifestyle. You dont have to work in an office for the rest of your live... Coding is a very valuable skill. Many are working remotly - either for a company or for their own projects. you could experience new cultures and new languages while working abroad...
your job is a skill and not your "life mission" for the rest of your life.

Get your TEFL Certificate and teach english... there are tons of people teaching english wile working on their own projects.

Dont fall in that trap that you should work in a field that you love. have you read unscripted ?
 

Games247

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I was this way with welding school, I hated welding but finished school, had a welding job for seven months then quit when I'd saved up enough money to last six months. Funnily enough I am learning programming now and want to get a programming job. I actually love programming. (Maybe you should check out welding lolol.)
 

Kevin88660

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Hi,

I'm on my last year of Computer Science. I already have a bachelor degree in Computer Science but now I'm on the last year of my master. I'm also working on my own business but that's not the point here.
The bachelor went quite smooth, but I'm really struggling with the master studies since I discovered that I hate computer science and programming and I don't have talent for it whatsoever.

As I said, I hate programming. It makes me miserable. I don't have a "drive" for it whatsoever. I began with it in the first place because I was motivated by money..programming is a good job. I worked as a developer before and money was great, but my problem was always being this guy with least talent in the room and the guy that struggled with everything.
I hate it, I don't have any talent for it, I struggle with it and I wanna quit it for good. I have talent for many other things which I abandoned because I thought that I would become an excellent developer which obviously didn't happen.

My parents are being problematic here. They keep "motivating" me to finish my major, whereas I'm getting depressed because I hate my it. I hate the stupid and useless subjects. There are kids at the university who just love programming, love computer science and are having fun doing it. I'm not having fun at all.

So yeah, I have this pressure from my parents but I also fear the future, because I spent like 4 years studying this shit and came to conclusion that it was a bad choice, because I don't actually have a talent for it and went there to "get a good job". But what's the point in having a "good job" when the job makes you miserable?

My parents are from the old generation: "get your degree, get a job, get a mortgage, a car, a wife, kids, dog and spend your life working 9-5" and I feel this pressure from them and I have this feeling that I'm not fulfilling their expectations or I don't know. It's just I'm really attached to them and truth be told don't have guts to say "no" to them.

I'm not asking what I should do but what you guys would do in my situation? Would you quit the university and focus on the things you love doing?
You left less than a year for a master..why not just finish it.

Do what you need to get the cert and move on?
 
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rwhyan

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Remember: a college degree entitles you exactly NOTHING.

Those saying “stay in college you only have one more year” are committing the sunk cost fallacy.

If entrepreneurship is in your veins, I wholeheartedly believe spending time in college is only a detriment.

I’d rather be working a shitty job and hustling in the real world than sitting in a classroom and consuming.
 

rwhyan

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@UnrealCreative

Agreed, but I think it’s better stated as: Stop doing things that aren’t meaningful.

Because obviously life requires work and pain to achieve things, so you’ll never always love what you’re doing.

But everything you do should be meaningful.
 
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Tourmaline

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I like to code when I need to get something done. I don't like to code otherwise.

Coding to me is a tool. Who likes hammers? I like nails in walls.
 

palneoon

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God, this board is so frustrating sometimes. Rant incoming.

One. Time unused is wasted.

OP has no idea what they want to do.

OP has no skills to start a business.

OP lives in Europe where without a Masters you won't get funding or credit.

OP would do nothing with this year.

But sure, uhh, time is, uhuh, invaluable.

No. That's just a meme. Time is worthless if you waste it.

Two. People who think you can drop out and start a business tomorrow are LARPers.

Literally the only people who say this crap are here roleplaying and don't take action.

To start a business takes skills.

Skills you can learn without dropping out of your free education.

Skills you can learn without alienating your whole damn family.

I don't know where this meme that you can do stuff without any skill comes from.

But it needs to die in a fire.

I mean, say he drops out... what does he do?

He learns some basics... while working a job?

A shitty job instead of the one he would get with his degree?

A shitty job that takes 3 times the hours it takes to go to University?

A shitty job that makes him a failure in the eyes of his family, putting him under x10 the pressure?

This is your advice? This is your value proposition?

Is there a big joke I don't get?

Do you people even think before dishing out #EntrepreneurHustlerLife platitudes?

I'm sorry, isn't the advice constantly "don't quit your job, start on the side"?

Uni takes less time and energy than a job.

So do that now, right? That would be the logical advice.

But no, because screw college. College is useless, hurray!

Three. Building a business is failure, pain, and suffering.

So he hates his studies. So what?

That's a hard life? GTFO.

You people think he can tough it out in the market with this attitude?

OP could get another 5 years degree he hates and it would be easier than building a business.

He's feeling bad?

It's nothing close to how bad he will feel after he drops out, fails a couple of times, and considers himself a failure, judged by everyone around him.

"What happened to jerryB? He had such potential! Threw it all away."

People who went through the same thing know what I'm talking about.

People who didn't, don't get it.

That's all I'm saying.

Remember: a college degree entitles you exactly NOTHING.

Those saying “stay in college you only have one more year” are committing the sunk cost fallacy.

No, they aren't. That's not what the sunk cost fallacy is.

Since you want to use the big words, we are saying that the marginal cost of getting the degree is small compared to the value of the degree, especially considering that since OP has no idea what to do, the opportunity cost is actually null. And since he would do nothing but fret on this board asking about this and that business model he has discovered yesterday, and which he's not remotely competent enough to put into action, he should get the degree instead.

Also OP lives in Europe. People in Europe care about Masters a crapload more than in the US.

At least in some places in the EU people actually ask you about your degree before doing business with you.
Not hiring you. Doing business with your company. Your successful company.

It entitles to a lot of status, and that matters a lot.

But sure, #HustleCultureLiveYourBestLife instead.

My choice of this studies was based on financial reasons. I didn't even think that I wouldn't be able to tolerate it this much.
That's the only smart way to make this kind of decision.

And the reason why you can't tolerate it is that you emotionally decided you are done with it.

If you really couldn't tolerate it, you wouldn't have tolerated it for four years.

Look at it this way.

Is it smart to make decisions when you're not emotionally stable?

Fix your mindset and emotional problems. Then decide.
 
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Ninjakid

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why? if you would do this - you havent a fastlane mindset.
Because you haven’t been here long enough to see how many young people quit work and quit school to become entrepreneurs, but end up worse off than they were before because they realize just reading blogs and books doesn’t mean shit in the real world.

Or the people who refuse to get a job or go to school because they think they’re fastlane, but really don’t have a business and are just lazy.

In OP’s case, school is free, and better yet, he’s learning something which is actually a valuable skill which he could use towards a business. He could easily work on his business in his spare time
 

AceVentures

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OP, I'm an engineer, and I also want to do something else with my life.

With that said, consider how I began my journey and where I am today that is positioning me very well for my entrepreneurial ventures.

Went to engineering school, aced the game, and landed a job after college. Did I love it? No. I did it for the money. I did it because I grew up with a single mom that worked at Dunkin Donuts and Subway, and I refused mediocrity for my own life, so I thought getting a degree and a job would be a good place to start.

It was only after reading UNSCRIPTED and joining the forums that I learned more about entrepreneurship and the life journey towards delivering value independent of your time.

My immediate reaction after learning about entrepreneurship was to drop everything I was doing and "go live my best life". As if quitting your job suddenly renders you super valuable to people... I shared my experiences in my intro and got solid advice from members, including MJ.

I decided to keep my job, moonlight in the evenings/weekends, and test my ideas on the sidelines.

So what?

Well, for one, I'm getting paid! And as an engineer, actually really good money! Young? Single? You can save that engineer paycheck to fund your dreams...

Second, I'm gaining so much industry experience and business exposure. Engineers can work in the technical domain or commercial, or both. Your work will be used for estimating project metrics and ultimately, project economics. You'll be invited to collaborate with colleagues with experiences and backgrounds from all over the world, you'll attend interesting meetings and conferences where you'll network with other brilliant folks, and you'll learn the systems, workflows and decision making processes of potentially wildly successful companies.

Now, as a wanna-be entrepreneur, would you reckon the above skills can come in handy when you start your own venture? Can you imagine that having business experience as well as capital to fund your projects will propel you further in your entrepreneurial journey?

I'm not saying you should get a job as a CS and work a corporate job... What I'm saying is that "getting a degree and having a job" might not be a deadend slowlaner option if you play it right.

Just don't let "I don't like this" be an excuse for not finishing your studies. Maybe it's not that you dislike it, maybe you simply lack the perspective to appreciate what you can do with those skills.

I just see a lot of people giving advice on "quit it all and go live your dreams", and when I was less experienced in this forum and money hungry, it was soooo tempting to think I would give it all up and go live on the beach in Bali. In reality, entrepreneurship can be lonely and extremely hard. Look at all the people on this forum, maybe 5% of them are making good money? Even if you have a successful biz, how hard to net 80-100k/year? Yea... might take you a whole lot more than the pain of finishing your CS degree.

Land an easy job straight out of college, working 9-5, making 6 figures, sitting on bean bags and eating free food at the office. Yea, what a nightmare eh? Better give it up before you even start, so you can go flip shit on craigslist and hope you can come up with enough to pay your gas money.
 
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Sadik

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Programming is a tool. OP doesn't like it because he can't see any vision with it. Let me give you an example. You say you love learning foreign languages. Would you love talking to people from different countries in different languages? I suppose the answer is yes. So how about building an app which let's people select a different language first and then find someone who speaks it from a different country? Would you like to own a business with such an app? I suppose the answer is again yes. So will you be better off creating a business like that with the degree or without it?
 

srodrigo

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I don't see the point in quitting at this point, given this is your last year. Also, if you quit because you hate it, do you think you won't quit in other areas of life (business included) when things get not fun?
 

Tourmaline

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Programming is a tool. OP doesn't like it because he can't see any vision with it. Let me give you an example. You say you love learning foreign languages. Would you love talking to people from different countries in different languages? I suppose the answer is yes. So how about building an app which let's people select a different language first and then find someone who speaks it from a different country? Would you like to own a business with such an app? I suppose the answer is again yes. So will you be better off creating a business like that with the degree or without it?

Yup. What actually is making @jerryB sick is not university. It is his lack of purpose.

Not that one needs to go to college to learn to code...lol

Going to college for CS taught me about the microdetails of processors. How often has that been useful irl?

Almost zero.

But it does let me understand at a deeper level and speak to others about technological developments and the like at such a level.

Of course I could have gotten that from literally one textbook instead of years and thousands of dollars...

The catch however is two fold.

University is free for OP? Okay so switch majors if you really want to get far away from CS and do not care about what you can do with it later(such as make an app based business and make serious wealth).

And
Going to gym, learning foreign languages, creating music, teaching

Doesn't actually sound like the OP has much other skills, but probably has not thought about this much either.

Looking at what one likes to do according to the evidence of the past and what one has done, and finding a way to be useful and contribute to society is the general formula I currently like.

What one can currently do at such a young age hardly matters compared to what one wants to be able to do and for what purpose.

Go study music. Go study sports nutrition. Go study linguistics. Go study education.

It doesn't cost any money and you don't seem to have any employable skills. Go study and build skills concurrently.

Just a suggestion of course ;)
 
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G

GuestUser4aMPs1

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So.

Everyone is rooting someone on to complete a master's study.

Ignoring the fact that OP knows he isn't well suited for that course of study and will not go into the field after finishing the degree as it makes him miserable.

"Just finish, you're so close to finishing the race you never wanted in the first place!"

Not a judgement. Only an observation.
 

Here

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God, this board is so frustrating sometimes. Rant incoming.

One. Time unused is wasted.

OP has no idea what they want to do.

OP has no skills to start a business.

OP lives in Europe where without a Masters you won't get funding or credit.

OP would do nothing with this year.

But sure, uhh, time is, uhuh, invaluable.

No. That's just a meme. Time is worthless if you waste it.

Two. People who think you can drop out and start a business tomorrow are LARPers.

Literally the only people who say this crap are here roleplaying and don't take action.

To start a business takes skills.

Skills you can learn without dropping out of your free education.

Skills you can learn without alienating your whole damn family.

I don't know where this meme that you can do stuff without any skill comes from.

But it needs to die in a fire.

I mean, say he drops out... what does he do?

He learns some basics... while working a job?

A shitty job instead of the one he would get with his degree?

A shitty job that takes 3 times the hours it takes to go to University?

A shitty job that makes him a failure in the eyes of his family, putting him under x10 the pressure?

This is your advice? This is your value proposition?

Is there a big joke I don't get?

Do you people even think before dishing out #EntrepreneurHustlerLife platitudes?

I'm sorry, isn't the advice constantly "don't quit your job, start on the side"?

Uni takes less time and energy than a job.

So do that now, right? That would be the logical advice.

But no, because screw college. College is useless, hurray!

Three. Building a business is failure, pain, and suffering.

So he hates his studies. So what?

That's a hard life? GTFO.

You people think he can tough it out in the market with this attitude?

OP could get another 5 years degree he hates and it would be easier than building a business.

He's feeling bad?

It's nothing close to how bad he will feel after he drops out, fails a couple of times, and considers himself a failure, judged by everyone around him.

"What happened to jerryB? He had such potential! Threw it all away."

People who went through the same thing know what I'm talking about.

People who didn't, don't get it.

That's all I'm saying.



No, they aren't. That's not what the sunk cost fallacy is.

Since you want to use the big words, we are saying that the marginal cost of getting the degree is small compared to the value of the degree, especially considering that since OP has no idea what to do, the opportunity cost is actually null. And since he would do nothing but fret on this board asking about this and that business model he has discovered yesterday, and which he's not remotely competent enough to put into action, he should get the degree instead.

Also OP lives in Europe. People in Europe care about Masters a crapload more than in the US.

At least in some places in the EU people actually ask you about your degree before doing business with you.
Not hiring you. Doing business with your company. Your successful company.

It entitles to a lot of status, and that matters a lot.

But sure, #HustleCultureLiveYourBestLife instead.

That's the only smart way to make this kind of decision.

And the reason why you can't tolerate it is that you emotionally decided you are done with it.

If you really couldn't tolerate it, you wouldn't have tolerated it for four years.

Look at it this way.

Is it smart to make decisions when you're not emotionally stable?

Fix your mindset and emotional problems. Then decide.
Thank you for saying what I couldn’t quite put into words.

Fast lane kool aid is just as poisonous as any other koolaid.
 

Here

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So.

Everyone is rooting someone on to complete a master's study.

Ignoring the fact that OP knows he isn't well suited for that course of study and will not go into the field after finishing the degree as it makes him miserable.

"Just finish, you're so close to finishing the race you never wanted in the first place!"

Not a judgement. Only an observation.
Op has no clue what he wants to do next. If he were working on something on the side and his studies were slowing him down, the responses would be different.

I learned some good stuff from my masters. Research and pushing against dumb professors, mostly. I also built a work ethic. There are other ways of learning those lessons but op is already here.

Edit: I see op is creating a side hustle. But it sounds like he’s perfectly capable of doing both.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Serious question...

Do you derive any JOY or SATISFACTION in your finished product? An application? A software solution that solves a problem? Do you get joy in your results as an artist would when finishing a painting? A sculpture? A piece of furniture for a woodworker?

Or are you stuck painting and brick-laying without ever getting an opportunity to relish in the finished product?
 

AFMKelvin

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Just because you have a degree in programming doesn't mean you actually have to program. You can match your passion with programming. Just finish the degree.

You like teaching and foreign languages right. So why not make an app that teaches people a foreign language. You don't have to code yourself you can hire an Indian coder to do all the grudge work. How about an app for foreign language slang. That's the first thing most people learn in a new language slang and curse words.
 

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