Treat success like you're treating an addiction

[Luke.]

Let's image someone you know, or maybe even yourself having some sort of addiction. Maybe you might of known or still know someone with an addiction. Alcohol, food, drugs or gambling. It doesn't really matter what addiction. Just imagine it for a second what it looks like.

Ask yourself these questions:
What happens when they are heavily addicted?
What does there life look like?
How do they feel when you use the the substance they're addicted to?
What do you see in an addict?
How does an addict solve there problem?

Think about it for a few seconds and just answer them questions.

An addict, to me, is the same as a person who wants to be successful but is not willing to put the effort in. They are addicted to the slowlane/sidewalk. They don't want to accept change in there life. They do the same shit day in day out, putting off for another day. They're scared of doing things differently in order to stop this addiction.

The word "stop" in that last but one sentence is key here, because so many people will replace that word with "avoid". That simple change to that sentence makes a whole world of difference. Stop is permanent but avoidance is temporary. If they just avoid the addiction, they will never cure it and it will always be there.

So how does an addict cure there addiction?

Let's look at a real addict here, say a cocaine addict, probably one of the strongest addictions of them all. When an addict is heavily addicted to cocaine, it's hard for them to cure it by themselves. They have to go to rehab to sort themselves out.

So what happens at rehab?

First of all, it's a huge change to there day to day life. They are simply thrown in the deep end to fix themselves. The environment is completely different. New people. New area. They are entering the world of unknown.

This is one of the biggest things most people are not willing to accept to there life is change. They're so hung up in the slowlane. The fear of doing something different scares the living day out of them. Stuck doing the same old shit living the same old boring job.

They also pick up 'onedayitus'. "Oh i'll get it done tomorrow, the start of the month, new years resolution, January 2nd 2021" bla bla bla. It goes on, making up excuses to not do something. This is avoidance. Do you think avoiding this change is ever going to cure this addiction? Of course not. Stop is permanent, avoidance is temporary. Because when you pick up onedayitus, you don't only put it off for that one day, you put things off all the time for every task you do. You get in this habit of curing your addiction 'one day' and will never actually change.

So what's part of this change? You're environment.

You can break your environment down into two things, the people that surround you and the general day to day tasks you do.

Let's look at the people that surround you. If you're a cocaine addict, how are you more likely to cure your addiction? By being around people who are also heavy users of cocaine? Or by people who are successful at curing there addiction and have a successful life?

While you sit at your slowlane desk living your slowlane life doing slowlane stuff, what sort of people are you surrounded by? Who motivates you to get of your a$$ the most? Do you need to surround yourself with better people? Who's pulling you down and keeping you addicted? Do you need to get rid of these people?

Sometimes, you just need to put people to one side in order to move forward. You end up in the wrong crowd with the wrong sort of people doing the wrong things. That trip to the pub for a quick pint ends up being 5 pints which ends up being a trip to the club and so forth...Do you think this would happen if you went out with MJ? Of course not. Like my time, and so should yours, it's valuable to him. Spend it wisely with wise people.

Now, lets look at the day to day tasks. I see so many people on here talk about how they are procrastinating all the time. In fact, it's one problem I've had most of my life. But why do we do it?

How are you more likely to cure your cocaine addiction? If you're sitting in Pablo Escobars cocaine lab? Or, lets say, in a library where there is no cocaine around leaving no temptation to have a quick fix? (the library was the best place I could think of lol).

This is why fat people always stay fat. They might buy a million pieces of fruit and veg and go to the gym seven days a week, but they still also have to pick up a pack of biscuits to snack on and 'treat' themselves. This is why diets never work, they refuse to make a lifestyle change. They wont go all out. This is avoidance and they will always either stay fat or simply return to being fat.

What do you procrastinate the most with? Facebook? Games? How much invaluable time do you spend on these tasks? Image for a second if all the stuff you procrastinated with didn't even exist, do you think you'd procrastinate as much as you would?

Procrastination is always going to exist, but don't try and control it. Look at the cause of it and simply remove the cause altogether. When the causes are gone from your life all together, you're less likely to procrastinate altogether. If you remove the temptation all together, just like you remove the ice cream from your fridge, you're likely not going to do it at all.

For me, I used to play a game. Each round would last for 15 minutes, so essentially I'd tell myself I'm taking a "15 minute break". This would then turn into another break, then another break, then an extended 30 minute break and so forth. The only way I could ever stop these breaks is by completely removing the game altogether. By making a change.

Ironically, I read an article somewhere that Facebook affects your brain the same way cocaine does. Doesn't really surprise me. Just like a drug addict, you're always looking for that 'quick fix' by procrastinating. You're simply addicted to procrastinating and can't get rid of it. This is avoidance. You have to remove the cause.

Now go back up to the top and read over them questions again. This time, instead of imagining the addiction you originally thought of, change it to being addicted to the slowlane. Then ask yourself, are you addicted? If so, are you going to avoid the addiction? Or cure it?

Edit: Rehab for curing your slowlane addiction could simply be moving away to somewhere you've never been before. Just like rehab for a drug addict, you have a new environment, new people, new area and entering the world of unknown. Do you need to go to rehab?

Well that got a bit more lengthier than I thought. I'm not the best of writers but have felt like I've always wanted to improve my writing skill. If anyone has any input on how I can improve my writing skill here, let me know.

I might come back and add to this too, feel like I've missed some thing I've forgotten about.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[mammoth_hunter]

Luke. - thanks for posting this. I have somewhat opposed thinking here: it's better to focus on introducing the good than eliminating the bad (since what you are thinking about you get more of). Also, total sudden turnarounds - I know you are not advocating them - almost never work. In my experience it's better to do the change kaizen way.

 

[deepestblue]

Good post Luke. As you alluded to, the solution to proscratination-itus is to buckle down and get to work.

 

[BaraQueenbee]

I have to voice my opinion, as a former addict.

Absolutely love the time and all you've put in writing the article, but comparing a mindset to an addiction, is hard to read.
Not wanting to jump to conclusions, it sounds like you have no experience with this.

Addictions, being an combination of many things (hiding, not wanting to feel, or on the opposite spectrum: wanting to feel, etc), genes, and yes, environment being a huge one indeed.
But saying it: an addict doesn't want it bad enough, it's "simply this and that", is like saying someone who just got out of war "you know what, I understand you've been through shit, but honestly you've had some time to process now get over it".
It sounds super judge mental and inaccurate.

Everyone has their own paths, and even though you may have "seen the light" and now you wish that upon others: it's too theoretical.

Also, once you're a junky of anything, you'll always remain one. You just seem to get better hold of the thoughts that guide these. And maybe/hopefully find a better balance.

Yes, a lot people are lazy. Are comfortable. Are on a different intelligence or awareness level and seem "ok" with that. And I feel you meant well with the post.

Healthy or not.
^^^^^ that a million percent something different than being addicted. Nor comparable

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Luke.]

Apologies @BaraQueenbee. I never really thought of how it would of effected someone who's actually been there, something I definitely should of though of before making this sort of post.

Correct, I do not have any personal experience, but just rather have seen it happen as an outsider. My thoughts here were mainly to perceive things as an outsider to. You're totally right though, I do sound major judgemental but not mean to come from that standpoint. I didn't realise this. My main aim was to talk about the fastlane and put motivation in perspective rather than talking about addiction itself so I didn't actually put much thought in how I'm actually perceiving addiction.

How does this post make you feel? I hope not to hurt or cause negativity in this post and if you feel deleting the post would be the right way to go about things I will do so.

I hope you know that I was never meant to cause such harm of the sort. Again, apologies.

 

[BaraQueenbee]

Right now I love you super hard @Luke. for leaving room for conversation about this. So absolutely no worries, I know and can read you mean well and from a well place!!!

When it comes to mindset stuff, I THINK (and there are people on this forum and industry who know much better), but isn't it about education?
And I don't mean in the school-education form, but knowledgeable and life-form.

Ok. You deal with *insert any drug/addiction* to cover/hide/dont feel/or feel from subject x.
Person said, on a rational level knows, its not the good way. But it's the effective way at that moment.
With rehab and such, certain questions are asked "do we know the cause? Yes. Lets work on THAT". Obviously the drug/addiction isn't helping, rather than masking the serious cause. Lets "attack" the cause.
Educate people on what alternatives there are.
Some people will want to be helped, others completely not.
Is the road to recovery hard? F*ck god yes, and its sucks multileplied by a billion.


Fastlane/slowlane/sidewalk "mindset"?
-Are people aware of other possibilities?
-And if yes, do they want to put in the work? Some yes, some no.
Some are comfortable enough, and some are NOT comfortable enough YET.
When they will choose, they know it's going to be uncomfortable.

And being "fastlane" also isn't made for everyone I think.
Eventhough "security" of day to day office jobs are false securities, being an independent business owner is on the other side of the spectrum.
Some lead, some follow <-- both are needed, for without the other, the first could not excist.

By all means I do not have all the answers. Probably not any.
And seeing someone being "stuck" in a slowlane/sidewalker or such mindset, can be cringing. More from a "god I wish you so much better in life, for you" than a "wow, you're pathetic".

Can one change someones mindset? Maybe.. Tools, showing by example. If they want to see, they will.
If they dont (for whatever reason), then seperation may be the way indeed.

Great conversation though, by all means keep it going!

 

[Luke.]

When it comes to mindset stuff, I THINK (and there are people on this forum and industry who know much better), but isn't it about education?
And I don't mean in the school-education form, but knowledgeable and life-form.

Most definitely! I think while what I've wrote can cause a positive on some and will gain from the post, and at the other end of the spectrum like yourself, it will do the polar opposite.

By all means I do not have all the answers. Probably not any.
And seeing someone being "stuck" in a slowlane/sidewalker or such mindset, can be cringing. More from a "god I wish you so much better in life, for you" than a "wow, you're pathetic".

Indeed it can. This is why I tried to use an analogy to make themselves look in the mirror and put things in perspective when they see themselves. Although, I never actually considered what analogy i'm using which is pretty bad of me. The other end of the spectrum, to an actual addict, is totally different to someone who hasn't been there. I assume this and that about an addict which is pure ignorance.

Thanks for understand and explaining. Hopefully I can learn from this and improve my content upon posting the next time, if I do.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[BaraQueenbee]

Most definitely! I think while what I've wrote can cause a positive on some and will gain from the post, and at the other end of the spectrum like yourself, it will do the polar opposite.



Indeed it can. This is why I tried to use an analogy to make themselves look in the mirror and put things in perspective when they see themselves. Although, I never actually considered what analogy i'm using which is pretty bad of me. The other end of the spectrum, to an actual addict, is totally different to someone who hasn't been there. I assume this and that about an addict which is pure ignorance.

Thanks for understand and explaining. Hopefully I can learn from this and improve my content upon posting the next time, if I do.

You're a rockstar!!!! Thank you!!

 

[Supa]

I feel like I gotta chime in here aswell.. Even if there's not too much left to say, since @BaraQueenbee pretty much nailed it already

I can definitely see the good intent behind your post, so thanks for your effort of writing your thoughts down.

The problem I see is that you try to compare two things that simply cannot be compared.

Don't get me wrong, I never been addicted to something, but my dad is.

My dad's addicted to gambling.

One thing that I learned in this situation is, that people who are addicted are not dumb or don't know what they do.

When my family discovered his addiction, we sat down and talked with him.

He told us, that it's not like he doesn't know that it doesn't do anything good for him.

It's not like he doesn't know that he loses all his money.

He just can't help but do it.

On the other hand, you have someone working a job, because he or she was condioned to believe that that's the way to do it.

They may hate their job or they may accept it, doesn't matter.

Most people don't even know that there's another way of doing things.

They are unaware of what is possible in life.

I don't judge them. I never accepted the job life, but I still had to start it aswell, after school.

Not knowing that there's a different road that I can take, I only felt like it must be me, since I hated that job life and everybody else seemed so accepting of it.

It didn't make sense to me to work the next 40 years doing something I don't like, and not be able to spend my time like I want to.

But if you grow up and hear everyone saying the sky is green, you feel like there must be something wrong with your eyes for seeing it in blue color.

That's why MJ's book is the single best thing that ever happened to me.

His words showed me that there's more to life than just slaving away my time for a good time on the weekends.

One book smacked open a complete new road in life.

But that's not how it works for someone who's addicted to a drug or an activity.

Addicted people already know that there's a different way of life. They normally already lived that normal way before they got addicted.

I think being addicted can be like trying to escape that green-sky-reality looking for the blue sky.

There are millions of reasons why people fell into addictions, though. Too many to generalize it.

I think addicts usually are aware of their situation. While most Slowlaners and Sidewalkers are not.

That doesn't mean that there are no similarities in getting out of an addiction and leaving the Slowlane.

There definitely are.

But that's more because beneath both lays a process.

And processes, no matter for what purpose, often show similarities.

Anyway, to bring this post to an end, let's just add this sentence, because I feel like it's just perfect:

And seeing someone being "stuck" in a slowlane/sidewalker or such mindset, can be cringing. More from a "god I wish you so much better in life, for you" than a "wow, you're pathetic".

 

[IrishSpring600]

I remember quitting alcohol. Now I can walk near bottles and pools of the substance and no thought will convince me to drink it or even taste it.

Who - me
What - alcohol
When - many, many months ago.
Where - basketball courts in JMP gym, Miami
How - never drinking it again
Why - see below

Did you notice the "how" is extremely easy to do per se? "Oh yeah, just don't take a gulp of that ciroc." If I'm not around ciroc, that's easy - there's no ciroc to drink! But who says I can't fetch it?

You can't beat this form of thought using reason. You have to rise above it.

The night before I had drank a handle of Carlo Rossi white wine. Oh my days, so delicious. The next morning I had no hangovers and my then-friends invited me to play basketball, so I obliged. However, by the time he sent me that text I had drank two cans of Steel Reserve Blackberry.

While we're playing, I'm having a blast just talking shit and moving fantastically on the field, despite my motor impairment. I can't remember who won that game, but I had to get water because I was thirsty. After drinking from the water fountain, I went to the restroom.

And I stayed there for 30 minutes.

I basically got down on all fours because I felt so disoriented. I tried to throw up in the toilet, but I couldn't. I seriously thought I was going to die - I was definitely poisoned. I stayed still in that position for ten minutes and only two thoughts crossed my head:

- just give in...
- fight it and hold on - we'll get through this! Hang in there!

I could still reason, mind you. If I went with the first thought, I would have passed out, and died (I seriously think so. You can think yourself to death - see Think And Grow Rich). But I needed all of my willpower for this one.

By biding my time I finally got some of my strength back. When I walked back to the courts, one of my then-friends said, "where were you? We thought you died", which made me question why they didn't go looking for me. Subsequently, I left.

I drank two or three more Steel Reserves the month after. Switched to weed for a few weeks. Quit both in the following month.

I quit because I don't want to die an alcoholic (or a weedhead). There are several other reasons I quit, such as: it made me 50% slower on the field, my stair-climbing performance was sub-par, and boy was I skinnyfat beyond belief. But I only realized this after my near-death.

It takes an experience to quit, which is why quitting isn't so easy. How are you going to get that experience? I got to drive an S550 the other day. I felt like the master of my domain. The king of the city. In control of my life. Audis may be elusive, accelerate faster, and be mechanical versions of Speedy Gonzalez, but driving an S550 is like sitting in a float in front of the parade. I don't even want to go fast in that thing.

So, how did I quit alcohol? By not tasting another sip; by not opening my mouth, popping the cork, and meeting the two.

How did I really quit? Getting out there and adventuring, obtaining new experiences.

Get out of the house and do something.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.