Toxic Sidewalk Mindset

[AubreyJ]

Hey everyone! It has been a very long time since I've posted, but felt like this was something that would be worthy of a post.

So, for anyone who hasn't read any of my past posts (which I am sure there are a lot of you since I haven't posted in a very long time). Long story short, I am a 21 year old franchisee for a sandwich concept- my store is currently preparing for construction, and because of this I have been working with a PR agency to draw up some excitement for my store opening which will be happening in the coming months. The PR agency got me an interview with Entrepreneur.com in their "Franchise Players" segment, which was something I was pretty excited about as I've been reading Entrepreneur since I was a kid. In the interview I pretty much talked about my experience so far as a franchisee and very briefly touched over how I saved up a large sum of money at a young age.

My curiosity got the best of me and I read the comments section on Facebook, only to see that virtually everyone who commented was doubting my story. Claiming I had to have outside help, the money probably came from my father or mother...etc. Which bothered me- initially I felt like I needed to defend myself, but then decided to just shut off my computer and let it go one ear and out the other.

Here is the link to the Facebook post so you guys can see the comments if you are interested:

https://www.facebook.com/search/str/aubrey+janik/stories-keyword/stories-live

The moral of this post is to rant a bit, because to be honest it bothered me that people so quickly doubted what I have worked so hard to accomplish over the last 5 years, and also just to show how toxic this slow lane mindset is. Nothing is "impossible", and some slowlaners will always make excuses and bring down others. Don't be that guy.

 

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[Guest34764]

Man this is nuts,It's funny how you're the one opening a business and there the ones commenting on Facebook with nothing to do with their time.Good job on saving up for a business you did more than any of these losers sitting on their computers all day.

 

[hellolin]

Thanks for sharing man, sometimes it's ok to vent a bit, working your a$$ off is hard enough, even harder when you know the rest of the world doesn't understand you. Remember this is why you will be better off than all those facebook champions in a few years, if not, already a lot better. Heck maybe one of those guys that's making the sammies for your shop is one of them...hence why you are the one that's making the big money and those guys are making sandwichs.

 

[AntEmpire]

It's easier to accept that you had help than to believe you did it on your own. To believe the latter would mean you can actually get what you want in this world with hard work and sacrifice, and what sidewalker wants to do that? It's too much work.

 

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[Ninjakid]

Parents, raise your kids to have self-esteem, otherwise they become internet trolls.

 

[RamEri475]

Who cares what they think. If you tell them you didn't have help they will still think that you had help. Many people have a hard time just saving a few hundred bucks. $100,000 just seems outlandish to all of the side-walkers. And the slow-laners think that kind of money is retirement money.

 

[Ubermensch]

People will tell you that you can't do something because they can't.

Or, they'll offer fake friendship and ephemeral support.

Keep going. Keep working.

Who cares about the opinions of so-called "friends" on the Internet.

Cherish your real friends who don't leave you hanging when you need them, who give you real support comrade. Engaging with a flaky, fake friend is just as bad as dealing with a toxic or negative person.

 

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[Mattie]

The moral of this post is to rant a bit, because to be honest it bothered me that people so quickly doubted what I have worked so hard to accomplish over the last 5 years, and also just to show how toxic this slow lane mindset is. Nothing is "impossible", and some slowlaners will always make excuses and bring down others. Don't be that guy.

It's basically just what you said. Sidewalk mindset. You really just have to be neutral about it and understand they're not in the same place as you. You don't need validation and approval to be a success. You don't need them to believe you. And perhaps this is why you're on Facebook to learn certain lessons. Being an Entrepreneur not everyone's going to love you and glorify you. You will be the Villain and Hero at the same time depending on who is looking at you and their mindset.

Really on Facebook you will run into trolls, bullies, and people who don't think to smart. I just watched a nice girl spend two years of her life to build a group with 7,000 people and announce I quit because of bullies. One she's not mentally tough, and two she doesn't know how to set boundaries and kick people out.

I imagine you really have to know yourself and not allow other people to break you. There using words to manipulate you emotionally and emotionally. Do you react or respond? Do you answer or ignore? Do you allow it to eat at you? These are all lessons for you to learn? And whether it's Facebook or reviews on your business you will have the vultures come at you in every way.

Who is in control? You or them? Do you give your personal power away? Do you let them get you caught up in the drama triangle? Are you setting boundaries? Are you allowing them to be on your page or group? Do you have to put up with it?

You have choices and control over the situation. I can tell you other people don't have control over me on Facebook. Usually they think they're dealing with the usual person behind the screen and find out they're not. If you show people you're in control they're not going to bug you anymore.

 

[Digamma]

I'm gonna share with you the three words answer I use for haters.
It's very powerful. You will find yourself using it as your only answer, and simply by using it, after one repetition, and two repetition, and three repetitions.. you will feel lighter, the haters evoking only a warm laughter from the bottom of your belly.
The three words answer is "cry more, bitch".

 

[Imgal]

It's just another wonderful example of cognitive dissonance. A lot of people become uncomfortable when they see others making positive changes in their lives and they're not. The only way to make it sit better with them is to make up stories that bring it back to neutral so they feel comfortable stuck in their slowlane doing the same thing they've always done.

 

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[Bellini]

Guys, why can't I see this? I clicked the link and it took me to this:



EDIT: *Never mind. I don't use facebook so I can't see it.

 

[Formless]

You have achieved a level of success that people find difficult to believe.

Your reality has become so different from the 99%ers that they actually refuse to accept it.

That's a pretty damn good benchmark of progress, don't you think?

 

[The-J]

F*ck em.

 

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[Weaponize]

Guys, why can't I see this? I clicked the link and it took me to this:

View attachment 10707

You need to log into your account to see it (same thing happened to me, logged out).

 

[AgainstAllOdds]

@AubreyJ The cool thing about Facebook is that you can put a face to the people that are talking trash. I went ahead and compiled the faces into one document. Take a look and see whether or not you'd respect what they're saying if they were in front of you.

Personally, I find it amusing that each one of these individuals looks like an inbred idiot:

 

[Weaponize]

Hey everyone! It has been a very long time since I've posted, but felt like this was something that would be worthy of a post.

So, for anyone who hasn't read any of my past posts (which I am sure there are a lot of you since I haven't posted in a very long time). Long story short, I am a 21 year old franchisee for a sandwich concept- my store is currently preparing for construction, and because of this I have been working with a PR agency to draw up some excitement for my store opening which will be happening in the coming months. The PR agency got me an interview with Entrepreneur.com in their "Franchise Players" segment, which was something I was pretty excited about as I've been reading Entrepreneur since I was a kid. In the interview I pretty much talked about my experience so far as a franchisee and very briefly touched over how I saved up a large sum of money at a young age.

My curiosity got the best of me and I read the comments section on Facebook, only to see that virtually everyone who commented was doubting my story. Claiming I had to have outside help, the money probably came from my father or mother...etc. Which bothered me- initially I felt like I needed to defend myself, but then decided to just shut off my computer and let it go one ear and out the other.

Here is the link to the Facebook post so you guys can see the comments if you are interested:

https://www.facebook.com/search/str/aubrey+janik/stories-keyword/stories-live

The moral of this post is to rant a bit, because to be honest it bothered me that people so quickly doubted what I have worked so hard to accomplish over the last 5 years, and also just to show how toxic this slow lane mindset is. Nothing is "impossible", and some slowlaners will always make excuses and bring down others. Don't be that guy.

First off, congrats!

Second... I read through those FB comments, that was smart on your part to just shut off your computer. Job well done!

I read the Entrepreneur post as well.

In my opinion, information on franchising is very difficult to find online

You should start a blog and write about not only what you've found in the past, but what you're currently doing and going through. Not only would it build out a personal brand for yourself, but you may find it actually helping your business. Read through this blog as a reference point: https://www.groovehq.com/blog (scroll to the bottom and start at the first post)

I started cold calling franchisees to get their opinions on the industry and on the concepts they owned. I would look up the numbers for the franchisees of the concepts I was looking at, and would call them and ask them a list of various questions I had.

That kicks so much a$$...

I don’t really feel like I am in a position to give advice at this point in my life, as I am still young and do not have a whole lot of experience compared to a lot of other entrepreneurs.

I'm calling bullshit on that statement. Looking from the outside, in... you do.

I feel like my best piece of advice would be to just keep grinding.

Sage advise. I bet you've got a TON more!

I hope you start a progress thread, or a public blog about your journey. I'll be the first to subscribe.

Keep kicking a$$!

 

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[Weaponize]

@AubreyJ The cool thing about Facebook is that you can put a face to the people that are talking trash. I went ahead and compiled the faces into one document. Take a look and see whether or not you'd respect what they're saying if they were in front of you.

Personally, I find it amusing that each one of these individuals looks like an inbred idiot:

+rep dude

 

[Digamma]

@AubreyJ The cool thing about Facebook is that you can put a face to the people that are talking trash. I went ahead and compiled the faces into one document. Take a look and see whether or not you'd respect what they're saying if they were in front of you.

AHAH, that's cold. But they're not worth the effort.

I think I'm bound to add some detail to my previous post. Not for the OP, as she claims:

and some slowlaners will always make excuses and bring down others. Don't be that guy.

so she doesn't need me to explain it to her, because she nailed it, and F*ck me if I think I get to come on the internet and explain shit to people who get shit done. For the benefit of the beginner reading this topic.
Disclaimer, I had several glasses of (good, because YOLO) Scotch.

Why "cry more, bitch"?

See, AubreyJ is awesome. She accomplished more already than most can in a lifetime AT 21, basically a child. People who know me on the forum know that I don't compliment easily. I am not a "let's be encouraging" person. But her accomplishments impress me. I can only imagine how much schlepping there is in setting up something like what she's doing, and it takes guts to go through that. Vision. Relentless action. Results. Empires are built like that.

So the natural thing to do is be impress and congratulate. If possible, go read her entire post history to catch a glimpse of the smarts that allowed her to achieve. Call it a growth mindset: you see achievement, and you try to suck it up inside your brain to become better, because becoming better is the goal every day.

What goes in the mind of the Facebook hate? He knows nothing of business or how to kickstart anything. He barely can start his car, which he has not yet paid for.

Even so, he knows everything. His political opinions are so clearly right. He is baffled at how stupid politicians are. He could do a better job than that conglomerate's CEO! And man, don't let me started about social issues.

He's broke, but that's the system. He never had a chance, because he's just not born in the right place and in the right family at the right time. School always held him back. Job interviewers were too stupid to see his brilliance. The world his in the hands of morons. He's a genius humanity has lost in the sands of time.

You know the type. Hell, you were the type - don't lie. I was. You were, or you are, even, if you're new. Don't worry if that's the case - this forum is full of people who will beat the digital shit out of you until you're fixed.

Anyway, the main point is that these people are in a fixed mindset. They are who they are, they are perfect as they are, and so everything is not their fault. It's the world fault, society fault, racists' fault, sexists' fault, whatever-ists' fault.

The key here is their ego. The ego is the image they made of themselves. They are smart, right, infallible. Everything is personal. Their opinion define them, their being right defines them. Everybody has an ego, but some people's is small and is being broken so much that it's become clay - it is routinely resized, morphed in something better. These people's egos are made of stone.

As somebody wrote before in the thread, when they read such things they are in cognitive dissonance. What does it mean? Cognitive dissonance is what you feel when you see facts that clash against you ego, your beliefs, your values. So when the 21 year old who can't afford yogurt because he's too much in debt see AubreyJ is building shit that only old rich men are supposed to have, there, you have cognitive dissonance.

Because if she's done it, then I could have done it. But I didn't. Then how can I be so smart? So right? So skilled? Nope. Nope. Nope. There must be something behind it. Rockefeller. Bildenberg. Rich parents. Oil. Mafia. Inheritance. Something shady. Lies! Something I did not have, because I am a victim.

That is the whole point. It can't be your own work, because otherwise it could have been mine. And I'm smarter, better, stronger. So, impossible.

That's why the "cry more, bitch". They will make minimum wage feeling smug, while "the idiot boss" smokes cigars and doesn't give a shit about what they think.

Choose. Be them, or be AubreyJ.

(My drunken a$$ is off for tonight.)

PS: Aubrey, as soon as I get across the pond, I'm in your joint. Never been in the US, Texas sounds awesome.

 

[AntEmpire]

You need to log into your account to see it (same thing happened to me, logged out).

I was already logged in when I tried to view it. I logged out and logged back in and still got the same result.

 

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[DeletedUser394]

@AubreyJ The cool thing about Facebook is that you can put a face to the people that are talking trash. I went ahead and compiled the faces into one document. Take a look and see whether or not you'd respect what they're saying if they were in front of you.

Personally, I find it amusing that each one of these individuals looks like an inbred idiot

Rather disappointed with this post.

Because some random people are skeptical of another random person (what OP is to them), they deserve to be called inbred idiots?

Not only that, but according to what you wrote, you respect what people have to say based solely on their looks?

Two of those pictures are of proud fathers with their children, two others are extremely well groomed people, and there's nothing wrong with what the other two people look like either.

None of those people said anything bad about OP. They simply don't believe what an article with very little detail states. As a reader, especially on the internet, one needs to be skeptical. Remember Mohammed Islam, the 72 million dollar wonder trader? And many others that are half truths, or entirely fabricated.

I have no idea whether OP made the money on her own or not. The article provides little to no detail on the matter. It doesn't matter either way, I hope she finds all the success she's going after. But trying to bring people down is rather sad.

Making $100k entirely on one's own at 21 definitely makes a person an outlier, which is hard to fathom for many people. Congrats to OP.

 

[Ubermensch]

Making $100k entirely on one's own at 21 definitely makes a person an outlier, which is hard to fathom for many people. Congrats to OP.

I think the point is that if you are an outlier, expect people to outright lie about you, precisely for the reason you ironically cited: It is hard to for some people to fathom outright outliers.

So, who cares what they say? Who cares if they call you fake? Who cares if they think you're real or not?

If they hate then let em' hate and watch the money pile up.

F*ck em'.

Or, as @theag 's guy would put it:

@ChasingPaper LOL. Couldn't resist, brother.

 

[rogen]

Facts > Words

They will always say you can't, they will say "how's thats possible? I don't believe you" after you do something, it doesn't matter.

Just few days ago I acquired driver licence. Here where I live its so hard to get it, you either have to be extremely lucky, or just very good at driving and memorizing law. Every failed exam costs more than it should so people often pour a lot of money into getting something so basic.

I passed driving test at my 2nd attempt, while others did it at 4th even 6th, they lost A LOT of money. When my friend came to pick me up, I told him I did it he was like "Fuc*ing bastard" at this wasnt even in friendly manner, I just looked at him and thought to myself "wtf should I even care about what he thinks? Facts say more than words"

So, who care's about them? Just do your thing, their comments are useless and have no basis in reality.

 

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[Andy Black]

We move forward faster when we keep moving forward.

Getting into debates with people or focusing too much on competitors halts our forward motion.

Winners keep moving, they don't stop to fight.

 

[AubreyJ]

This is why I love this forum, thank you everyone for your responses and my apologies for taking so long to read through them and to get back with a response.

I really do appreciate all of y'alls encouraging comments and the different input you provide. I am still far off from where I want to be, but I am slowly but surely getting there, and reading this forum really helps give me that extra motivation I sometimes need in order to keep going. Thank you everyone!

 

[JustKris]

OP---congrats on your franchise.

That said, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Saving 100k by the time you're 21 is impressive. Echoing GrumpyCat, the skepticism is to be expected.

In the article, you said you'll spend 300k before opening the doors. That's a lot of cash for anyone to pull together without help, particularly someone so young. I'm sure everyone would be interested in how you achieved that---it's an even more interesting story than buying the franchise.

At any rate, embrace the haters. You'll never make everyone happy.

 

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[Luffy]

If I read that article, I wouldn't believe you either but why does my opinion matter to you?

 

[contract]

Don't waste your time on Facefuck.

 

[sija1]

My curiosity got the best of me and I read the comments section on Facebook, only to see that virtually everyone who commented was doubting my story. Claiming I had to have outside help, the money probably came from my father or mother...etc. Which bothered me- initially I felt like I needed to defend myself, but then decided to just shut off my computer and let it go one ear and out the other.

About the comments... A lot of artists don't read the comments on their pages because of this type of thing. They just do their thing and thank their fans without even knowing who is commenting. It's a good approach in my opinion.

And most importantly, even if the help did come from the outside sources, so what (I am not saying that it did)? I saw an interview with Chad Mureta where he talks about his experience. After being in debt and ending in hospital bed, he borrowed some money from his step dad to outsource his first app. That app made him more than 600 000$. Should he feel guilty because the initial money wasn't his? Hell no! Somebody can give you a million and you can end up broke a year later. Almost every single person that commented could borrow some money somewhere, but it wouldn't matter or change anything because it doesn't matter what cards you're dealt, but how you play your hand.

Congratulations on your franchise, you made sacrifices and risks that most can't understand. Now do me a personal favor, and never read comments on Facebook unless they concern the quality of your product and business.

I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart.

 

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[RHL]

A year ago I messaged a struggling friend that he try Craigslist/EBay hustling rather than a third job. He told me it was a bullshit dream that you could make more money that way than "actually working for real" an that I needed to "pull my head out of my a$$ and think like an adult."

That week I made $2000 selling a Civic. I wonder how much he made at Ruby Tuesday.

 

[Luffy]

While we're on the subject I was checking out a review on youtube of Marina bay sands vacation spot when I read a comment about how they would never go there not because they don't want to but because they're "poor" and thanked the one who made the video. I replied to his comment and asked him why he assumed he was going to stay poor forever. I said "the worst thing you can do to yourself in a world that tries to limit you is to limit yourself". He hasn't replied back to me yet.