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The Well Defined Man | Authentic Attraction

Discussion in 'People & Relationships' started by AndrewNC, Dec 12, 2017.

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  1. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    I created this thread because everybody deserves to be with the right person for them in life.

    Regardless whether...
    • You are attracting the right girlfriend or life partner to you,
    • You are attracting the right friends, acquaintances, or fling encounters into your life, or
    • You are attracting the right customers, clients, or business associates into your brand.
    ...everybody deserves to be with the right person for them in life. Not only for you, but also for the person you are with.

    The main theme of the book is: While Most Guys go out there and try to get the girl, they go chasing after relationships, clients, and customers; The Well Defined Man is Attraction at the truest definition of the word. When you become the most authentic and well-defined version of yourself - this is Magnetic Attraction at it's finest - where you attract the right people to you in your life, effortlessly.

    The original purpose of this book was to release the struggle from attracting the relationships you deserve and most importantly - reaching the end destination of this journey; where the people you once chased after in the past - and the relationships you were after - is actually not what you've been searching for after all.

    It's something better...

    While this book is not published yet, and I have nothing to sell you: The author, marketer, and entrepreneur in me already has the book cover designed and image ready to go.
    • A big thanks to the member of this forum I've been working alongside since July to allow me to take over the domain name to use for my book after he switched to a new venture (Original title was "Be Attraction").
    • Also, to Derek - the other member of this forum (I forget your username) - For being the designer of this book cover as well as The Cure for Happiness book. You have a gift.
    • And to the same person I dedicated my last book too, because if it was not for her coming into my life as she did, none of this would be here for you right now <3
    well-defined-man.png
    The rest of this thread will be:
    1. A Progress Thread: To cover my product, service, and promotion strategies to get this hand in the book of the guys in the world who need this the most. And to release the pain and frustrations from the women in the world who have to deal with the way Most Guys go about handling relationships. The world needs more Well Defined Men living in it.
    2. Authentic Attraction Lessons Learned: To share the transformations you can make in your life, wrapped up in stories through my experiences going through many of the same struggles myself when I started writing this book 18 months ago today.
     
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  2. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    There are three things I value when I write books like this:
    1. Writing from Experience: While most authors write books based on logical content that they've read before - or something that has been repeated a thousand times over within the industry, I made it an intent of mine not to read any books on dating or relationships. Instead, I begin with my starting point (hopelessly trying to find love) and document the real stories and experiences I've had, and not teach, but demonstrate the transformations I've made along the way.
    2. Writing for the Reader: Anybody can give us logical advice. As many people who read this forum know, I've spent since 2014 dedicated to becoming an expert and shifting and transforming human behavior, using my skills as a service for hundreds of clients now. While most authors write logical regurgitated information(ugh, not again!), and other authors simply share stories of their life (boring!), I make sure that the entertaining stories I share about my own experiences are wrapped around lessons that actually impact the reader, and create the changes they are looking for in their life (for example, I tell my story of overcoming approach anxiety and having a dream day in paradise traveling the world with this most amazing eastern European Woman). The story is what happened because I overcame my approach anxiety, but within the story is something every reader who suffers from this common problem can relate to. The book will actually help people.
    3. Writing for the Market as a Whole: There is another thread on this forum that speaks to the problems within the market. An "Attracting Women" Video Course
    One of the pieces of advice from that thread comes from a female.

    Which re-enforces how women are impacted by the actions of men when it comes to dating and relationships.

    My goal for this book is not only to get men what they want, but also do accomplish the same highest intent for them in a way that also gets women what they want.

    I am hiring three editors for this book:
    1. A Pickup Artist: The one who comes from the pickup industry and knows what it takes from the common teachings in the industry in terms of attracting women.
    2. A Well Defined Man: A member of this forum who gets the true essence of Authentic Attraction, has been experienced in this field since 2010, and 'gets it'. He's also been involved in the branding of this book since July, so he fully understands it.
    3. A Feminist: A girl I met...somewhere is VERY passionate about the way men treat women in relationships, and the reason I'm seeking to hire her specifically is the amount of drive and emotion she has for fixing these problems in the world.
    2.png

    This book will be published when The Feminist (post above) and The Pickup Artist agree on the content of the book, and The Well Defined Man editor gives the final stamp of approval for the changes made based on the feedback of both.

    The goal of this book is not only to improve the dating lives of men and women, but to disrupt the entire mens dating coaching industry and make the world a better place for all of us to live in...

    And it all starts with the content...
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
  3. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    What Problems is This Solving?

    Our role as entrepreneurs is to remove the pain from people's lives.

    We are problem solvers.

    When my own personal development journey (for relationships began), I experienced a lot of pain in my life and I recognized the problems I went through. For 18 months, I solved them within myself. But like any product we create, it's not about me. It's about serving the needs of the market.

    Instead of doing online data research, I feel the best solution is to speak to people in the market one-on-one and really get to know their emotions through personal conversations. I've been mentoring someone in this arena for a while, so they did the legwork on this, but the first step was to create an excel sheet to discover the pain points of 100 different guys who fall within the demographic of the target market.

    The goal here is to look for common themes amongst large numbers...

    pain-point-research.png

    A Few Stand Out:
    1. Approach Anxiety - When guys see a woman they are attracted to and get nervous; resulting in not talking to her.
    2. Getting Stuck in Your Own Head:
    3. Insecurity and Being Myself:
    4. "Looking into getting to date models."
    For #4 - I understand where the guy is coming from, but the language he uses is not aligned with the values of this brand.

    Take in mind, I have three editors for this book:
    • From "The Pickup Artist" standpoint - yes, this is something the pickup industry will teach him.
    • From "The Feminist" standpoint - What the fu*k? This guy is objectifying woman, and he is an a**hole."
    • From "The Well Defined Man" standpoint - How do we find a balance between the both of them? The Well Defined Man understands that most guys have sexual desires and attraction towards physically attractive women. While most people shame that and try to have men repress who they are, this creates other problems in itself. At the same time, The Well Defined Man understands how comments like this make women feel objectified, de-humanized, humiliated, and oppressed. How can we make it so that we help the men attract the type of physical and sexual lifestyle they want...in a way that also meets the physical and emotional needs of women who want to be seen as equals?
    I have no fu*king clue how to solve that problem yet, so I'll put that on the backburner.

    The Problems I Can Solve:

    For the first three, these are three things I can relate to and three things I would like to resolve for the purpose of this book and this brand. While the promotion of the book will appeal to the desires of most guys (attracting the right woman into their life), the content of the book turns it around and focuses on something internal. The internal transformations we make to become the best, most emotionally-balanced, version of ourselves

    Solving Problem #1
    Approach Anxiety

    At the time of writing this, my Well Defined Man journey is (mostly) complete.

    In the past, I know what it feels like to see a girl I was attracted to, and have all those thoughts and internal dialog pop up into my mind, as well have those feelings of nervousness flood my entire body. I would see her, I would want to talk to her; but fear would kick in so I would keep to myself.

    I know what it feels like.

    Then, last summer, I found a solution.

    Through a combination of psychological techniques, I have the approach anxiety cure down to a formula.

    Step 1 - Bring up a small post-card sized picture in my imagination, seeing my worst fear unfold if I talk to an attractive woman and I fail (rejection/embarrassment/etc). Pay attention to what is going on in that scene.

    Step 2 - What's the self-judgement about WHO I AM if this worst fear unfolds? This is where I take the focus away from things outside of me, and make it internal. "What does it mean about you if..." is the question to ask.

    Step 3 - I find the negative identity about who I am if I approach the girl and my worst fear unfolds, and I rate the emotion from 0-10. For me, it was a twelve-out-of-ten.

    Step 4 - Perform a rapid emotional release technique (takes 2 minutes) to release the self-judgement from the identity.

    This way, the thought of being rejected (the picture in your mind is a thought) has no emotional attachment to it.

    After doing this technique, I became 100% emotionally OK if I go up and talk to a girl and she mocks me, she calls me weird, people around me judge me, etc. Regardless of what happen outside of me, this process I used on myself created that internal state of being and positive self-image. that allowed me not to feel those nervous/anxious emotions; and be emotionally ok (on the inside) with whatever happens.

    I've used this psychology practice to release approach anxiety from nearly a dozen men who reported the same shift, and I trained someone else to perform this technique to help men in his coaching practice.

    The problem was solved.

    Solving this problem through my Book/Brand:

    1. Through the book, I already have the structure and formula to actually solve this problem. But through the book, I have to write it in a way that entertains and engages the reader. The writing method I use is to apply these same transformations and same lesson within the context of what I write.
    2. But since the full-solution is technical and boring...it would take away from the reading experience of the book. So on top of that, I am going to offer a one-video-explanation and a quick workbook with the technical formula to release Approach Anxiety from these men's lives. Inside the book, I'll tell them to either email me personally for the full solution, or to sign up for a free training on my website where I can deliver this to them. A Free Video-Based Solution.
    3. Through my services, I'm confident that the video-based solution will solve this problem for them (based on my experience of doing this and sending out a PDF to a sample demographic of the market and receiving nothing but positive results). But, some people would like to have a more in-depth session to fully release this in every area, work through the subtle nuances of it, as well as make some other related changes in their life. If the free video solution does not solve their problem fully (because they might have nuances come up), they can hire me for my services to do this with them over the phone or Skype. It's important to note that while building this book/brand, I have years of experience doing this internal change work and transformations in other industries (entrepreneurs, fitness motivation, healthy eating, etc.)
    What I have now:

    1. I have a list of many problems that are still there within the market, and within men's lives.
    Some of them are common problems, others are one-off things. I focus on the common ones.

    2. I chunked down to one specific problem to solve. In this case, it is approach anxiety.

    3. I solved it on myself (through my experience and techniques). I solved it on others through a service. I created a PDF and video to help people through it that way.

    4. Now my goal is to do my best at solving this problem through my writing alone. This is going to be new for me, but I am confident that I can achieve it. I know how the inner-mind works and the emotions behind it through my experience, so now the obstacle I'm overcoming is to translate the technical psychology stuff and formal process from that....into doing it through words alone, wrapping it in an engaging story.

    Things to Consider:

    1. Does my content and solution hold true to the brand of Authentic Attraction through creating an identity-level shift from being like 'most guys' (who struggle) into The Well Defined Man? Yes.

    2. Does this benefit the reader of the book? Yes.

    3. Is this a solution the pickup artist community can support? Yes, absolutely.

    4. Is this a solution the feminist community can support? I'll ask my editor, but my gut will say yes. Releasing men's fears to speak to women, in a way where they respect boundaries and do so in a mutually-beneficial way benefits everyone.

    5. Does this benefit the world as a whole? I'd say yes. There are other things to work through (such as respecting boundaries and stuff), but overall - less nervousness and anxiety when it comes to talking to people is a great thing.

    This won't be the first chapter of the book (for a very important reason), but this is what I'll be writing about today.

    Then updating the PDF for the book readers who want the video technical solution, and writing the offer for my services for the ones who want my help personally through skype/phone for it so I can have the most positive beneficial impact on people's lives.
     
  4. RogueInnovation
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    RogueInnovation Gold Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Well, imo, it looks nice enough
    But it really has no "differentiator"
    Its sort of a personal memoir and thoughts and ruminations about women
    Which seems like the sort of thing you see in blogs but in book form

    No point in anyone criticising if it is written and packaged up
    Find some affiliates, give them a cut of the sales coming from their site
    Or find some publisher who will carry it
    Or set up a sales funnel type system, where maybe by signing up to join your site they get the book free and can opt into some other sales funnel
    Best of luck
     
  5. theag
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    theag Most Aggressive Guy on the Internet on the Planet Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    :rofl:

    Now the only thing missing in your portfolio is a fitness ebook to get people rich, ripped and laid.

    The Well Defined Body
    Limitless Gainz

    :rofl:
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2017
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  6. Raoul Duke
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    Raoul Duke May be Vader some day later Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    [​IMG]
     
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    Nily Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Not trying to discredit your work but it looks like a lot of the superficial books on the market.

    It will strike gold if you can match the depth of 'The Rational Male'.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2017
  8. Raoul Duke
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    Raoul Duke May be Vader some day later Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Would you buy it, if it had a deep understanding of mermaids?
     
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    Nily Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    @Raoul Duke

    Mermaid is an undeserved market. I'll look into it.
     
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    I will say this-- your cover looks slick! Any advice about covers? I'm making my own currently, and having a hard time getting something that looks good.
     
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  11. Xeon
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    Xeon Nessuna macchina per me se non una Pagani Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Hey Andrew....

    SHUT UP & TAKE MY MONEY.



    Hope this gets released asap. Can't wait!
     
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  12. AndrewNC
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    Chapter XX
    Attachments & Codependent Relationships

    The Well-Defined Man transformation is a journey that leads you to the concept of wholeness (being complete).
    1. A Codependent Relationship is one where you need something from the other person that you are lacking within yourself (happiness, validation, motivation, love, direction, purpose, stability, or whatever it is). Or you bring someone else in your life to cover up the pain (loneliness, despair, etc.). When one partner gets their source of emotions from the other; this leads to an emotional drain on both parts and the relationships is imbalanced from the start.
    2. A Well-Defined Relationship is when two complete individuals come together as one. When two complete individuals merge together in one relationship, neither of them needs something from the other, and this allow each person to live their lives as two autonomous human beings. With nothing to take (leeching onto the other person's energy source), and everything to give (nothing but love and support), this becomes a positive emotional experience for all.
    While most guys rush into relationships because the woman provides something for them (it's the easy route to cover up the pain or take something that's missing within themselves), The Well Defined Man realizes that in order to be in a true happy and lasting relationship (or as an autonomous single human being), he develops the qualities, characteristics, and traits within himself to fill any missing gaps inside of him, where he takes nothing from others, because he's already complete.

    We develop attachments when we find something outside of us that provides us with what we are missing. Instead of learning how to develop these qualities within ourselves, Most Guys make the painful mistake of taking the quick and easy route.
    • The quick and easy route is to get this external validation from someone (or something) else. The trophy wife, the financially stable partner, the new luxury car to show off to your friends, the carefully constructed social media posts that make you feel validated when other people look up to you.
    • The quick and easy route is to latch on and become attached to that external source of whatever it is we are striving for (emotionally).
    • The quick and easy route is to hold onto this attachment tighter when it begins to run away. If it's gone, we might never get it again.
    • The quick and easy route is to drain this energy from other people. When that does nothing but push them away and leave you alone and depressed.
    While Most Guys do that...

    The Well Defined Man chooses to walk the path which leads to his long-term growth. He embarks on this journey to unleash the qualities he thinks his is missing, within himself. This applies to money, just as much as it applies to dating and relationships...

    Where will releasing attachments and reaching wholeness lead you?

    Being complete means that you don't need anything (outside of you), because you already have everything you could ask for (on the inside, emotionally) as an individual. When you reach this point, you will no longer be emotionally torn up when you don't get what you strived for, you'll be more balanced as a person overall, and the people you once wanted to attract into your life will now (instinctively) crave to be around you.
    • While Most Guys drain the energy because they get attached to things and need something from others,
    • The Well Defined Man is a person that people feel energized around, and is someone people naturally want to be with. He becomes the source of the emotions and qualities other people are striving for. He becomes Magnetically Attractive because people are emotionally and naturally drawn to him.
    When you release unhealthy emotional attachments from your life, this is when the real Magnetic Attraction kicks in and you're about to notice more and more higher quality people (things, and experience) will be attracted/drawn to you, effortlessly.

    Don't get me wrong...

    When you reach this point, you can still strive for larger goals in life, have these aspirations and desires to have certain things, date the people you want to date, and spend time with the people you want to spend time with; but the only difference is that the painful emotions you once felt when you didn't get those things right away...are gone.
    1. You don't need these things in order to feel happy, motivated, excited, fulfilled, financially abundant, or complete.
    2. You simply want them in a way where you're (emotionally) fine either way. Whether you get what you want or you don't, it doesn't take a toll on you. You go with the flow, and life becomes more effortless.
    It's all about the emotions you feel. Remember this. Whatever you say you desire outside of you, it provides you a specific emotion on the inside. A friend once told me, "You don't like the girl, you like the way she makes you feel".

    Paradoxically, when you release the attachments to things you want, this increases the likeliness of them spontaneously manifesting within your life because quantum physics kick in and you're no longer magnetically repulsing them away with your neediness, and you're magnetically attractive.

    When you reach this level of your journey, you'll also begin to notice how Most Guys get things wrong in this area of their life.
    • Most Guys Are Attached to Specific Outcomes: you will notice that Most Guys lose balance and become emotionally frustrated when things don't go the way they originally planned. You are more emotionally equipped to go with the flow. People enjoy being around you and you'll enjoy all that life has to offer while they display characteristics of being needy and insecure.
    • Most Guys Are Needy and Insecure: I remember sitting at a dinner table next to a guy who was apparently 20 minutes into a first date with a random girl he met on the internet. "Do you see this leading to a relationship?" is something he asked her. Dude, she's attractive, but be secure in yourself and make sure you're a good match. This attachment to something causes Most Guys to cling on and push people away because she could sense that he would drain her energy when they are together (or apart) if he's not secure with himself first. When you reach this level of wholeness, you'll notice your confidence in attracting higher quality relationships into your life based on being the type of person who people want to be with.
    • Most Guys Are Flat-Out Desperate: Have you ever had an encounter with a desperate salesperson. When you said you weren't interested, they just wouldn't leave you alone, and they cling onto you like a leech when you try to walk away? You'll begin to notice how Most Guys are like this, which reenforces you're own internal character traits of completeness as The Well Defined Man. You'll be more relaxed and people will truly want what you have to offer. Improvements in your business and career will flow effortlessly.
    It's easy to see this in others. When these guys release attachments to outcomes, people, ideas, and things; this will transforms them into someone who provides positive energy and emotions into people's lives and they will go from repulsing people away, to becoming more attractive.

    At this stage of the journey, the script will have already been flipped and you're already the man with the qualities, character traits, and things other people desire in their lives.
    • People want to be around you because you'll lift people up emotionally with the positive emotions that you give.
    • Companies want to hire you and customers will want to do business with you because you will provide something to them (while Most Guys simply want to take the salary or the customer's money).
    As a man who is not like Most Guys, can you see how attractive you really are?

    How to Actually Do This

    To be honest, this is a concept I've read about and watched videos on for many, many years now. I would watch YouTube videos from dating coaches telling me that I we should be outcome-independent. I would read books that reenforced the same concepts. But through all of those things that we've all logically learned about a thousand times before, this way of doing things didn't translate into actual human behavior.

    I had to go out there, experience the pain of unhealthy attachments and co-dependent relationships myself, and allow the pain to transform me through my own actual experiences and desire to grow as an individual. I'm not going to sugar-coat it, it's going to be the same way for you.

    Do you have what it takes?

    The stories I share on my journey are simply a guide to point you in the right direction, and to realize that regardless of the content of the attachment, the structure (why it's there, the purpose it serves, and how to release it) is the same. At the end of this section, I'll provide you with a formula to release any and all unhealthy emotional attachments in your life.
    • The stories you hear and the lesson you read about will guide you.
    • The formula is a proven psychological process that will quickly and effortlessly release the attachments for you. It takes about 20 minutes when you do it on yourself.
    That will come later in the section. While this formula you're about to learn is something you've never even heard of before, it's powerful, and you're going to learn through my mistakes; this (in itself) is not what's going to transform you.

    In order for you to develop these qualities of becoming The Well Defined Man and experience the benefits from this in your life; it's something you're going to have to experience for yourself.
     
  13. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Hey man,

    What I did was draw an ugly...uglyyyyyyyyy version of the cover in photoshop, which provided a basic structure of what I wanted it to look like, and then I worked with a quality graphic designer who did about 10 revisions back and forth with me.

    Get a good idea what you want, find someone who has a portfolio of book covers that are within the standard you like, and then work with them!
     
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    Azure Perpetual Motion Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Lool
     
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  15. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Thanks for the feedback.

    I believe (and from the people who've been involved with this for a while), and the 50 or so people who have benefited from the WDM 'beta testers' see a differentiator in the service compared to anything else on the market.

    Based on what you said, I don't think I have been able to articulate it well enough yet, so thank you for bringing it to my awareness.

    I'll touch upon this same thing a little more in a follow-up post about how I went about creating the brand identity, but I'm hoping this mantra I created opens up the door to a new way at looking at things.

    Part 1 - Appeal to the existing emotional desires of the market (the want to be with the woman).

    Part 2 - Question that the area of their focus (getting the woman) is not what will get them what they want. Poke a small hole in their perception and open them up to a new way of thinking.

    Part 3 - Flip the script. You went through this journey, transformation, and growth...so instead of objectifying her and making her a prize...she'll be glad to meet a man like you.

    This will be put throughout the book (including right after the table of contents), as well as on the back of the book.

    I might switch up the words for some slight adjustments.
    Screen Shot 2017-12-13 at 7.06.26 PM.png
    As far as the sales strategy for the book....

    I'll plan on self-publishing, getting 50 reviews on amazon, and offering the book at a normal price on the front end, and do the 'funnel' approach where each topic will drive leads to an email newsletter (in exchange for a free video work-through), and then offer my services on the back-end.

    Your idea to bring it to a publisher comes to mind, if they can provide enough value on the marketing side of things.

    Thanks again.
     
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  16. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Thanks. I took a look at that book on Amazon, and will purchase it soon.
     
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  17. RogueInnovation
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    RogueInnovation Gold Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Ha, I'm a well defined man, in that the guy in the mirror is very much everything I admired as a kid growing up and think should be standing infront of miss perfect, but women will find holes :p
    They always do

    Ha not always, but sort of always :p
     
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  18. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Well, you are definitely attracting...some kind...of advertisements to your post lol

    The Well-Defined Smart Shorts haha

    Screen Shot 2017-12-13 at 8.38.05 PM.png
     
  19. racyred09
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    I think you're really onto something! What a great idea to have your three editors- I wonder if anyone else has asked for a feminist woman's perspective on this type of book before? Anyway, love the concept of teaching men to become "magnetic" from within by improving themselves. No gimmicks. That's a solid approach that anyone male or female could get behind!
     
  20. RogueInnovation
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    Ha, that is hilarious
    But in all seriousness, get affiliated with products like that
    Not exactly that, but ones that fit your brand image
    Cuz books are only enough in two other cases
    One like MJ you have built a massive following, his unscripted success is pretty mindblowing using his model
    Or it hits big in retail spaces and online stores
    If you can't get there, you want to affiliate with enough "on brand" accessories etc that help boost sales
    Then at the back end of the funnel sell something more pricey

    Could be as simple as a tshirt that says something cool on it to start convos
    Like "I'm gifted" with an arrow pointing down, and in less obvious text "and just the right amount of stupid"

    But yeah, I think racy has a good point
    You seem pretty genuine
    If a little excentric about it, but, that is ok I think

    Sort of :smuggy:
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2017
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  21. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    How I am Building a Brand Identity
    If you're interested in learning about how to build a brand and establish a brand identity for your website, products, or services in your life, I share my experiences here for anyone to learn from my successes (and shortcomings) in doing so.

    TL;DR - Your brand is a magnet that pulls people in by the emotions you give off. What emotions, qualities, and traits are your customers striving for in their lives (love, connection, sex, freedom, abundance, adventure/experiences, security/stability, confidence)? When your brand radiates those emotions and traits, your customers will be drawn to you, Magnetically. You won't have to talk about it, if you be about it.
    • I'm a firm believe that you don't attract what you want, you attract what you are.
    • Secondary to that, when you become someone of high-value (motivated, abundant, confident, emotionally-balanced, etc.), you attract people who strive to be like you if they are lacking those qualities within themselves.
    While this can be overwhelming for you as a person (think of a hollywood celebrity who can't get lunch without a million people latching onto them and draining their energy and taking up their time); think about the wonders this will do for you when you apply these principles into your product or your brand...

    Yes, this applies to the products we build and the brands we create just as much as it does to the relationships we have.

    Ironically, as I wrote those first few lines of this article, I got an email from James Altucher's email newsletter titled "You Are What You Consume". The email talks briefly about him drinking alcohol and consuming junk food while he wasted his life away in a hotel room (or something like that). Then one of the lines says how he would, "Have friends for what they can do for me rather than..."

    In this instance, he placed himself around people for what they can do for him.

    You can see this when it comes to role models.

    In the entrepreneurial community, you can see Tai Lopez attracts the type of guys who are broke and dreaming of models, exotic sports cars, and large mansions. Gary Vaynerchuk attracts a different type of crowd; the work-till-you-drop hustlers.

    The same holds true in all walks of life and in every subset of the market. From Hollywood celebrities all the way down to the products people buy.

    Applying this how to we Establish a Brand Identity for a Business, take a look at GoPro for example:

    Why did I buy my first GoPro camera?
    • Was it because I was into videography?
    • Was it because I wanted the little piece of plastic itself?
    No. I wanted to awesome like those extreme sports athletes they feature in their videos. There is one video that has a guy skiing off a cliff high up in the mountains, only to pull a parachute and have an avalanche fall behind him. Epic! I wanted to be like that! So what did I do? Did I go out there and learn how to ski, buy a parachute and do this bad-ass stunt?

    No, I went down to Best Buy and bought a camera that sat on my dresser for 6 months straight before I used it.

    But it pulled me in, Magnetically...because they've got this brand identity stuff down and know how to appeal to people striving for something in their life.

    If you could think of the brand of GoPro to be a person, can you bring up a visual in your mind? Can you think of the character traits it brings out in people?


    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3PDXmYoF5U


    Once they understand what that is, they display it in all of their content.

    Earlier in this thread, I talked about the concept of Magnetic Attraction. The other week I met a women who is amazing. She's hard-working, she's been the CEO of a company at the age of 22 with a successful exit, she traveled the world for three years of her life, and she radiates some type of energy around her that just lifts everybody in the room up and they feel good.

    Did she have to do anything to attract people to her?

    No.

    Normally I wouldn't make a comparison like this, but we know each other and she would appreciate it:
    • If you think of her as an being a magnet, she has something about her that magnetically attracts men (and women alike) to her.
    • If she was an analogy to represent a product or a service, she has something about her that magnetically attracts clients and customers to her, effortlessly.
    On the practical side (sales) she is hard working, goes out and does the work...but this isn't an article about that part of business.

    While Most Entrepreneurs go out there chasing after sales (and it works for a lot of them), I like to learn from people and companies who have this Magnetic Pull to them - so I when I do go make sales and launch marketing campaigns; the Magnetic Pull of my brand will make the process a lot easier; virtually effortless.

    So how do we do that? How do I create a Brand Identity around my book, my services, and my brand in a way that has that Magnetic Attraction, which unconsciously draws people in?

    Who am I? What do I stand for and believe in?
    • I am a 31 year old man who decided to step out of the limitations of modern-day socially-conditioned society and approach life with a sense of curiosity, desire for growth, and an open mind. I am motivated, driven, on purpose, and have a passion for growth through entrepreneurship and contribution through social causes.
    • I desire love and connection with a mature, Well Defined Woman who is on her purpose in life, emotionally-balanced, is a pleasure to be around, and genuinely is interested in forming a long-term relationship with someone like me; for who I genuinely am. I'm up in the air about the concept of 'formal marriage' (asking the government and religious organization for permission to spend my life with a woman that I love); but that is the type of relationship I am looking for.
    There's more to it than that, but that's the general gist about who I authentically am. I was speaking to a friend last year that my number one important thing to me in life is to be with a woman I love. Head-over-heals attracted to a specific person at that point of my life, I told him I would pay him $10,000 if it would lead to having that 'soulmate' relationship in my life.

    I was 100% serious because I wanted that feeling of Love & Connection THAT much.

    That is exactly the type of person I want to attract.

    Well, yes, the Well Defined Soulmate Girl....

    But I mean as a reader/client/customer. I want to attract the type of guy who is ready to make the transition from being like Most Guys into becoming The Well Defined Man; with an open mind and a curiosity to try new things, and not afraid to fail. And the drive being so powerful that he would pay anything to get what he wants more than in anything in life (true love and connection & the growth to make that all possible) would help grow it as a business as well.

    The Reason Why This Is So Important: Targeting & Demographics

    When The Well Defined Man Brand was created in July 2017, it began helping the 18-24 year old guys who followed the pickup artist social media pages. Helping them break free from that type of world (big mistake). While the transformations they've made through the entrepreneur I was working with (he originally created a course and did coaching for the brand before handing it over to me); they didn't have any money to spend.

    I remember one of them didn't have $5 in his bank account to get a 95% discount coupon for a $5 product.
    • 18-24 Year Old Guys - Most of them don't have the money, their main driver is they want to get laid, and their biggest fear is rejection, self-judgement, and failure. While they can benefit from the brand, this is not the subsection of the market I want to go after.
    • 25-27 year olds are in between the two categories.
    • 28-34 Year Old Single Men - I'd separate this market into two categories. The 29 year old version of myself had a fear of being lonely and not attractive. After developing myself over the following year, my greatest fear is to settle for less. To attract a woman into my life who was not up to my standards and my level with who I am as a person. This demographic is more established in their careers, and we have the money to spend. While our biological click isn't ticking, there is the natural level of scarcity to find someone to attract for a long term relationship before we get old.
    • Married Men - Couples consulting. I have the ability to do this with my NLP services, but I'm not in The Well Defined Relationship yet, so it's not an authentic projection of who I am. This would be a good market to target from a business standpoint because of the level of investment in the relationship and the income level.
    • Divorced Men - More established in their career, stable job, and the pain they are feeling. I could help them with my NLP services, but I'm not really vibing with this myself.
    I know who I am.

    A 31 Year Old Single Man who was once like Most Guys, I'm on my journey of improvement still, but I've come a long way and could teach the rest of the 28-34 year old market a lot based on the experiences I've had over the past 18 months. I've been full-time immersing myself in all areas of life for 18 months, spanning tens of thousands of miles, meeting thousands of people, two continents, and 7 different countries with a lot of life experience packed into a short period of time.

    How Do I Attract These Type of Men Into My Brand?
    • Why do lots of young guys follow Tai Lopez? The emotions that draw them in based on the over-the-top display of wealth, fancy cars, mansion, and models.
    • Why do a lot of aspiring entrepreneurs follow Gary V? He fully embodies the qualities of the hustler-style, work-until-you-drop serious businessman.
    The Emotions, and Fully Embodying the Qualities People Strive For.
    • I'm a firm believe that you don't attract what you want, you attract what you are.
    • Secondary to that, when you become someone of high-value, you attract people who strive to be like you.
    I'll start off with the book (not a picture of me on the cover), and then I'll talk about me...

    well-defined-man copy.png
    The Design is professional, clean, and I removed the flashy picture of an attractive blonde girl showing skin on the back (tacky). It was originally there to attract the 18-24 crowd, but it's not what I represent, so while they might go gaga over it, the type of men who are ready for this, the type of men I'm looking to attract into my brand- would be turned away from it because it doesn't pull them in (it magnetically pushes them away). Repulsive!

    The Mantra for the book is something that appeals to multiple emotions desires that men strive for; meeting an attractive women they desire to be with, it pokes a hole in their reality (line 2) where instead of chasing, it poses the question "Who are you..." when she looks at you, and then leads to the emotions of being the type of man who embodies the qualities men strive for, so instead of having to chase her, she is attracted to you. (Mantra Below)

    Screen Shot 2017-12-13 at 7.06.26 PM.png
    The End Goal is to have an identity that men can strive for. In the first chapter of the book, it lists qualities that men want in their lives. Confidence, charisma, a natural born leader, on purpose, and attractive.

    Mixed with the appearance of the book cover, the male model who has the (stereotypical) look that society says is attractive, the brand of being instead of chasing (effortless - making attraction easy), and the journey of transformation (growth)...Making things effortless is an emotional appeal that attracts people into the brand. While the journey is challenging, the end result is effortless, which is true.

    This gives something for men to strive for.

    Screen Shot 2017-12-13 at 7.24.11 PM.png

    While (the hidden secret) of the book is that society lies to you for what men should look like (male model on cover), that pulls them in - the brand is about authentically owning who you already are (instead of hating yourself and trying to change)...that's something that is delivered within the content, and comes later.

    Understanding the mindset of most guys, it's not something that pulls them in Magnetically right away.

    Being the Brand

    Gary V. can be seen on camera with tiredness on his face and bags beneath his eyes. He is fully-embodying the traits of being the hustler work-until-you-drop New York City businessman. He attracts those to them.

    For me, the brand is about transformation and growth. So for the past 18 months I lived through this transformation and while I'm far from perfect, I continue to grow and be the best version of myself every day. I exercise regularly, eat healthy, I'm on purpose with my businesses and mission in life, I live a life full of experiences including travel and contribution to social movements...and I worked through most of my internal emotional baggage and other sh*t that most guys project onto women negatively if they get into a relationship with them.

    And most importantly, I've connected with who I am at the core, of being authentically me, attracting women, customers, people, and things into my life at the high-level of standards I have for myself. I don't have to chase them, I never settle for less, and life is good.

    I am involved in my brand so it's a combination of the WDM brand and a personal brand. For your product or services, most of you won't be involved personally, so this qualities, emotions, and traits should be wrapped into your product, sales, and marketing.

    While I used to think building a brand identity was simply a pretty looking logo and the color of your font; this is my process for building a product and a brand around the emotions people strive for and having the products and services of the brand fully embody the qualities and traits that people strive for.
    • I'm a firm believe that you don't attract what you want, you attract what you are.
    • Secondary to that, when you become someone of high-value, you attract people who strive to be like you.
    With the experiences I've had, who I am, and the quality of the product - I'll be attracting 28-34 year old men who are ready for this Well Defined Life, and with the products and me being my brand, I'll attract people who desire to have these positive traits that (were hidden in the past), but radiate from who I am now.

    The Well Defined Man Brand is Built
     
  22. LifeTransformer
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    LifeTransformer Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Thanks very much, I helped with that. :)

    Nice to see you promoting the book Andrew!

    Will have to give the whole thread a read when I get a get chance. (Just gave it a quick skim).

    When's the launch?
     
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  23. AndrewNC
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    AndrewNC Limitless Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Lol. Wasn't it around this time last year where you practically forced me to set a pre-release launch date to get The Cure for Happiness book out there?

    I don't have a date in mind yet. Getting a more formal review and editing process/launch strategy in place first this time!
     
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  24. LifeTransformer
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    LifeTransformer Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Yeah it was! Haha :-D

    That sounds like a good plan to me! The rushing to a deadline was great for getting it done, but I'm not sure the book I put out was as good as it could have been. (I unpublished it in the end).

    Hope it goes well! I remember one of the parts you posted on FB and it was pretty awesome. :)

    Chat to you soon my man!
     
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  25. Maxboost
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    I have read a lot of PUA literature out there and a lot of it is BS so I am coming into this very skeptical. A lot of this information has already been talked about.

    What qualifications do you have to be offering this service and charging others? Have you worked with clients in the past? Also I think the approach anxiety method that you advised will NOT work for the majority of men out there. The method you detailed will just cause more guys to be "inside their heads" which will likely lead to no approach at all.

    Approach Anxiety is caused by analysis paralysis and other factors which is why most guys have no problems talking to girls while drunk at a bar.

    Believe it or not the best way to get over AA is the 3 second rule. You have 3 seconds to talk to a girl or else you won't approach her.
     
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