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GOLD! The Only 3 Beliefs Holding You Back Right Now

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Kung Fu Steve

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Twice per day, I scroll through the forum. Occasionally I recognize patterns of thinking or behavior and I go through a little internal struggle: "do I respond to this question with a heartfelt response" or "should I just keep scrolling" -- I'll admit, I've been scrolling a lot more than responding lately so I figured I'd take a minute to give some unsolicited advice.

Your current results are a direct reflection of your belief systems.

That means the amount of money you have in your bank account today is not due to covid, the election, California burning, or how you were treated as a child... it is a culmination of your beliefs around money that you've held for the last 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years...

Beliefs like "should I save my money or spend it", "should I invest or not", "should I go all in on my business or do it part time", or "is this really even going to work?"

The "Covid 19" weight that people have gained wasn't because of the pandemic. It was because of your beliefs around exercising and eating healthy "should I work out or skip it", "what's healthy or unhealthy"

Relationships, too. "Should I be in one or not", "what should I accept in this relationship and what shouldn't I accept in this relationship"

If you aren't happy with your current results, here's my suggestion:

Identify and change your limiting beliefs.

Luckily, there's really only 3 types of limiting beliefs; hopeless, helpless, and worthless.

Hopeless Beliefs are the ones where somebody says "Just shut up, Steve. Nobody can make money in this economy. Nobody can build a business in this situation.
Relationships never last anyways.
My genetics won't allow me to get in shape.
This is bullshit, it can't be done!"

Helpless Beliefs are when someone says, "Easy for you to say. MJ can do it because he had a better idea.
They have more money than me.
They have more time than me.
They have less kids than me.
They have more hair than me.
That's why THEY can do it and I can't!"

Worthless Beliefs are where someone says, "Fine, fine. You're right. Everybody can make money. Everyone can have a long-lasting loving relationship. Everyone can have a great body... but if I'm being honest with you, man... I just don't think I deserve it. I don't think I'm worth it. I don't think if I made that money, I'd be able to keep it. I don't think if I got into that relationship, I could ever make them stay."

Can you see how devastating this psychology and these beliefs could be to someone's life and business?

For those of you who are here asking the questions over and over again like "should I go or stay", "should I invest or not", "should I start this business or put it off" -- my question for you is which one of these beliefs are really holding you back? ...And are they really true?

While I often spend hours helping people shift their beliefs, I can tell you exactly how to do it in very few words:

A belief is simply a feeling of absolute certainty you have about something.

If you didn't have certainty about that belief... you wouldn't believe it! You just feel like it's true. (And man it really does FEEL real, doesn't it?)

To change a limiting belief, simply start by figuring out what the belief is, then create doubt in it. Ask the question "is this belief really true?" and "are there examples of someone in my situation that made it work anyways?" or "have I even succeeded at this in the past and maybe I'm just overthinking it, now?"

I'm more than willing to help but I think it would be even more valuable for you and the whole forum -- if you're up for it -- to post an old belief you held in the past... and then what changed it for you? How do you see it now?

As an example... growing up, I truly believed money was scarce and extremely hard to come by. The first real shift in that mindset was coming here on the forum and meeting really successful people who started with nothing. When they spoke about how easy it was to make money, it really created doubt in that belief. "Maybe it ISN'T so tough... I'm just making it a bigger deal than it really is..."

Today when I look at how much money is in the system (especially here in the U.S. with another 2 TRILLION dollars floating around), I can't help but think "wow, it really is everywhere and people have no problem spending it!"

What is it for you? What shifted? What changed?
 

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MJ DeMarco

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Just to add to this thread and how a belief shift can radically alter a life...

Growing up, as many of you know, I thought getting rich quick (and young) was reserved for celebrities, athletes, and musicians. This was not possible for "normal people" especially if you had no interest in acting, dribbling, or playing guitar.

But then I met that young guy in the expensive sports car who planted the seed for entrepreneurship.

Then the belief became... getting rich young could happen for celebrities, athletes, musicians, and entrepreneurs.

The rest is history.

Because one belief underwent a minor shift.
 

WabiSabi

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I remember for a long time I used the excuse; people who workout are assholes.

"If you're fit that means you're a shallow, selfish person who thinks they're better than everyone else!"

I'm not a jerk, therefore I can't workout was my reasoning, so I didn't start till college. Turns out there are tons of friendly, helpful people who exercise. In fact, NICER than the people I was hanging out with.

Really shocked me at first, "wait I was wrong?" crushes your ego, and makes you humble when broken.
 
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PapaGang

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@Kung Fu Steve I've been scrolling a lot too, and I want to say you're one of the reasons I keep coming back to the forum, so thank you for all of your contributions.

My Old Beliefs:
I thought you had to be really smart to own a business.
I thought you had to be rich to start a business
I used to avoid doing difficult work. I didn't know that the work is the reward.
Rich people are corrupt.
I could never be rich.
I don't have anything to contribute.
I'll always struggle.
I'm not good with money.


Those are just off the top of my head.

Man I was messed up. :rofl:
 

MJ DeMarco

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I don't agree 100% with your point of view.

@Black_Dragon43 -- of course you don't.

I knew you'd be in on this thread to espouse your worldview, I just had to be patient.

Sorry, but you're not going hijack this thread like you have some of the others ...

You've made it very clear you and @Kung Fu Steve don't see eye-to-eye on things. You're not going to nit-pick another thread for the sake of peacocking your indisputable opinion.

Unfortunately your presence on this forum seems to be rooted in "Gee, what opposing view can I give in this thread?"

Frankly, it's starting to get old.
 

Paul David

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That's an interesting one!



I'm curious -- if that's true... why aren't you where you want to be financially?

I’ve made mistakes like borrowing money and purchasing the wrong stock . Probably also spent too much time working in the businesses instead of on them.

When I was younger I made some silly decisions like buying a brand new $40k Mercedes when I was 23.

I believe that every decision I’ve made has led me to the position I’m currently in. It’s nobody else fault.

I’ve always believed I’m going to be a millionaire since I was 16 and that’s not changed even now I’m 40 and I’ve had to file for bankruptcy earlier this year. (Due to borrowing money and buying wrong stock - I ended up personally liable as I signed guarantees).

I’ll keep trying until I’m dead!
 

AshleysBliss

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Great post. One of my limiting beliefs was that I had poor genetics and wouldn’t be able to lose weight that I put on over the years. A couple of years ago I changed that limiting belief and my mindset and lost over 70 pounds last year.
 

Kung Fu Steve

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So I don't have a contributing comment to the thread of old beliefs -> new beliefs. But I have a question that I think could be really helpful to myself as well as others.

How do you identify the limiting beliefs you have? Broad, I know, but let me try to explain.
When you were listing those things off, none really jumped out at me and made me think "oh, that's ME".
But I'm SURE that I have them in some form or another. Do you have suggestions/an exercise to help find/flush out those things?
Or is it just "as simple" as sitting down with yourself and doing some serious introspection about everything with the context you've laid out above? Asking why/what similar to what you did with Paul?

If you and I were to sit down and have a conversation, I'd ask some pointed questions. "How are you performing in (certain area)? Scale of 1-10?"

I've worked with enough people to know that most people who rate themselves lower tend to be the high achievers. The people who always want more but never think they're doing good enough. Then the people who rate themselves higher tend to be the type of over-confident people who are in a comfort zone and have little to no desire to more

** This is a gross overgeneralization but it gives me a starting point with someone **

Then I'd ask about your goals "what's a level 10 look like? where do you want to be?"

And then a pretty intense question "why don't you already have this? what's holding you back?"

We can easily come up with an entire list:

I don't have the...

time, money, knowledge, energy, support, etc. etc. etc.

( just responded above with the "IF, THEN, MEANS" frame because when people simply say I don't have the time -- that's not a complete belief... probably more accurate is something like:

If I have kids, then I don't have the time to workout, which means I'll never be in good shape. I should just accept that.

If I don't go to business school, then I won't have the knowledge I need, which means I'll never succeed in business. I shouldn't even try.

Again, I'm being obnoxious but here's the simple way:

1. What's an area of your life you're doing well in... why? What makes you good in that area? How do you think about it? What habits or routines have you built? (You'll find some empowering beliefs)

2. What's an area of your life you're NOT thrilled in... why? What stops you from making progress? What has to be done in order to progress? What are you not doing or following through on? Why? (you'll find some limiting beliefs)


I sit on the Helpless fence. Everything I've tried never worked for me so I always have it in the back of my mind that, "This works for everyone else except for me."

I'm in a job that I can't stand and want out but I don't have a plan to get there. I spent 3-4 days journaling and came upon real estate investing as a way to keep the stable income from my full-time job and work investing in on the side until it cashflows enough to set me free.

I talked to a friend and he said all the right things. He has the Fastlane mindset without realizing it. I was sort of investigating it and watched a video from BiggerPockets (BP) about how the guy who started BP went through a family issue and was able to be there with his family because of his business.

I told myself I had nothing to lose and I had to do it for my family. I had to get out of my own way. I'll be 90 years old and regret never trying. So I spent some money and bought a real estate license course to become an agent with the goal that it will be complementary to investing.

Then, I dove into BP, watched a bunch of videos, got myself excited, watched some webinars and jumped into becoming a Pro member. I decided that I would look around my local area. I told myself I am going to work on this and make it work for me no matter what. I can do this! I tried to do everything I could to avoid the self-doubt, negative talk from others, etc....but it crept in. A friend doubted me and said I probably wouldn't do it. A co-worker told me it's risky and my job is safe and secure.

Now I'm doubting myself.

Finding deals around "my" expensive market is difficult.
Other people are finding deals because they live in better markets.
It's very competitive and I don't stand a chance.
Others know more than me and already have a head start.
Am I getting into real estate investing at the wrong time just before a recession starts or a real estate crash begins?
Am I going to lose everything and uproot my family?
Am I going to burst into a ball of flames?
Am I fighting an uphill battle?
Do I really want to go out there and plead people to pick me as their agent?
Now I'm going to have to go out and buy a couple suits just to look good. I'm not really much of a suit type.
What value am I creating?
Real estate agents are a dime a dozen.
Why the hell did I spend the money on this license course only to give up on it before I even saw what it was all about?
Should I switch to one of my other ideas that I don't even know if I'm going to work on?
I'd really like to do "this other thing" but I gave up on it before so why do I think it's going to work this time?

I get into this head game and always wish I had a better idea that excited me, that was tangible, and provided a little bit of traction to see the way forward. I was excited about "investing" but now all of a sudden I'm not working through the license course as often, I'm not staying consistent with looking for deals and analyzing properties as taught by BP, and I'm slowly sinking back to my comfort zone.

I think I'm always on the hunt for the easy path, the path of least resistance, where I don't actually have to work that hard. Quite often lately, I sit here and wonder if I jumped in too fast and didn't think through it properly. I feel like I kind of haphazardly spent the money although it felt like the right thing to do at the time.

Wow -- this is a fantastic list!

Nobody consciously woke up this morning and see "gee, I can't want to fear failure today!"

All of these beliefs are conditioned. Which is great... because they can be reconditioned!

What's the difference between the times when we face a challenge and breakthrough versus the times when we end up feeling helpless and the problem lingers?

Whenever we find ourselves feeling helpless or unable to improve a situation, it’s because we have fallen into learned helplessness.

In learned helplessness, these 3 P's show up:

1. PERVASIVE: We think that because our finances are destroyed that our whole life is ruined. It’s not true, we have our health, our relationships, and tons of other things. It’s not pervasive, but sometimes we react as if it is.

2. PERMANENT: No problem is permanent. When things are good we think they will be good forever. When things are bad, we feel like it will be bad forever. Neither one is true. Life has seasons. We ALL go through Winters and we all eventually get to Spring. Nothing is permanent, life is constant change.

3. PERSONAL: We think it’s us. If we were smarter, prettier, stronger, if we lived over there, if we had this family, if we were taller, thinner, richer, then we wouldn’t be in this situation. We all do this. We take it personally and think that somehow, if we were XYZ (good enough) we would magically not have these “problems”. It’s not you, it’s not personal. Problems are a part of life. (Suffering is optional)

Any time you think your problem is all 3 of these things we get in that funk of "why even bother".

What if -- just for a second -- you thought the opposite of each of these beliefs? Are there plenty of references and evidence to support the opposite?

Finding deals around "my" expensive market is difficult.

What if it didn't matter how expensive a property was... what if it mattered what the ROI would be?

Other people are finding deals because they live in better markets.

What if they have a disadvantage because they DO live in better markets and can't find the deals you can?

It's very competitive and I don't stand a chance.

What if it's all bluster and most of these people just talk a good game? What if you were the right person for the job?

Others know more than me and already have a head start.

What if it's not how you start, it's how you end up?

Am I getting into real estate investing at the wrong time just before a recession starts or a real estate crash begins?

What are ways you can invest while preparing for a dip?

Am I going to lose everything and uproot my family?

Nope! ... but even if you did... would that be so bad? Or would that start a brand new chapter of your life?

Am I going to burst into a ball of flames?

I don't see this happening anytime soon... do you work with fireworks?

Am I fighting an uphill battle?

Not if you're going in a different direction ...
 

Paul David

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Your current results are a direct reflection of your belief systems.

That means the amount of money you have in your bank account today is not due to covid, the election, California burning, or how you were treated as a child... it is a culmination of your beliefs around money that you've held for the last 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years...

Hopeless Beliefs are the ones where somebody says "Just shut up, Steve. Nobody can make money in this economy. Nobody can build a business in this situation. Relationships never last anyways. My genetics won't allow me to get in shape. This is bullshit, it can't be done!"

Helpless Beliefs are when someone says, "Easy for you to say. MJ can do it because he had a better idea. They have more money than me. They have more time than me. They have less kids than me. They have more hair than me. That's why THEY can do it and I can't!"

Worthless Beliefs are where someone says, "Fine, fine. You're right. Everybody can make money. Everyone can have a long-lasting loving relationship. Everyone can have a great body... but if I'm being honest with you, man... I just don't think I deserve it. I don't think I'm worth it. I don't think if I made that money, I'd be able to keep it. I don't think if I got into that relationship, I could ever make them stay."

Great post Steve.

However I'm going to muddy the waters.

I've been in business (3-4 different ones) for 20 years and I'm nowhere near financially where I want to be but I don't have those limiting beliefs.

I've been down when my business endeavours have floundered and lost confidence here and there at times but I've never thought to myself I don't deserve it, someone else had a better idea or nobody can build a business or make money in this economy.

I think I've simply found and acted on business ideas that didn't work and I'll keep plugging away until I find one that does.
 

PapaGang

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I sit on the Helpless fence. Everything I've tried never worked for me so I always have it in the back of my mind that, "This works for everyone else except for me."

I'm in a job that I can't stand and want out but I don't have a plan to get there. I spent 3-4 days journaling and came upon real estate investing as a way to keep the stable income from my full-time job and work investing in on the side until it cashflows enough to set me free.

I talked to a friend and he said all the right things. He has the Fastlane mindset without realizing it. I was sort of investigating it and watched a video from BiggerPockets (BP) about how the guy who started BP went through a family issue and was able to be there with his family because of his business.

I told myself I had nothing to lose and I had to do it for my family. I had to get out of my own way. I'll be 90 years old and regret never trying. So I spent some money and bought a real estate license course to become an agent with the goal that it will be complementary to investing.

Then, I dove into BP, watched a bunch of videos, got myself excited, watched some webinars and jumped into becoming a Pro member. I decided that I would look around my local area. I told myself I am going to work on this and make it work for me no matter what. I can do this! I tried to do everything I could to avoid the self-doubt, negative talk from others, etc....but it crept in. A friend doubted me and said I probably wouldn't do it. A co-worker told me it's risky and my job is safe and secure.

Now I'm doubting myself.

Finding deals around "my" expensive market is difficult.
Other people are finding deals because they live in better markets.
It's very competitive and I don't stand a chance.
Others know more than me and already have a head start.
Am I getting into real estate investing at the wrong time just before a recession starts or a real estate crash begins?
Am I going to lose everything and uproot my family?
Am I going to burst into a ball of flames?
Am I fighting an uphill battle?
Do I really want to go out there and plead people to pick me as their agent?
Now I'm going to have to go out and buy a couple suits just to look good. I'm not really much of a suit type.
What value am I creating?
Real estate agents are a dime a dozen.
Why the hell did I spend the money on this license course only to give up on it before I even saw what it was all about?
Should I switch to one of my other ideas that I don't even know if I'm going to work on?
I'd really like to do "this other thing" but I gave up on it before so why do I think it's going to work this time?

I get into this head game and always wish I had a better idea that excited me, that was tangible, and provided a little bit of traction to see the way forward. I was excited about "investing" but now all of a sudden I'm not working through the license course as often, I'm not staying consistent with looking for deals and analyzing properties as taught by BP, and I'm slowly sinking back to my comfort zone.

I think I'm always on the hunt for the easy path, the path of least resistance, where I don't actually have to work that hard. Quite often lately, I sit here and wonder if I jumped in too fast and didn't think through it properly. I feel like I kind of haphazardly spent the money although it felt like the right thing to do at the time.
This is so familiar to me. I mean, this could have been my post a couple of years ago. Heck, it could be a post on any odd day for me still.

So I've done a lot of studying, and this is what I came up with, and it might be completely wrong, but it's worked for me.

You have two parts of your brain active here, along with your limbic system.
1. You have the lizard brain, or if you prefer, the dark brain. That part wants you to be comfortable, to be safe, to be normal, to not stand out, stand up, or be seen. It wants you to shutup and get back in line. It wants you to wait to be picked, it wants you to put it off until tomorrow, it wants you to ask, "what's the use?"

2. The more modern part of your brain, let's call that the more modern logical part, the good, whatever. It yearns to be free. To be truly yourself. To be unique, and to have great experiences. To be excellent. To engage in something bigger than yourself. To push yourself to the limit to see just what you really are capable of. This part of your brain isn't active that often, since most days we are on autopilot. Much easier for the lizard to keep you entrenched in your soul crushing routine.

One of the dangers I have found is that if I just let up in one little area--if I just decide to coast a little or mail it in--it becomes a virus. It starts to erode my psyche.
The disease of neglect settles in. It attacks our self-worth and our self-confidence.

The only consistent way I have found to avoid the lizard is to beat him at his own game. I have set up a morning routine that is designed for me to do my work before I do work for anyone else. I have used MJ's 1/5/10 sheet and work it every day. I've been off the routine for a bit, but have returned to it and immediately the self-confidence returned. Most of us are our own worst critics.

You might want to read MJ's post about getting shit done here, it's such an excellent post:

Follow that advice and have faith that you are doing important work. Respect yourself enough to see things through and at least gain some valuable information and experience from it.

Remember:
Comfort will ruin you
Surrender the outcome
Do the uncomfortable
 
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Kung Fu Steve

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I've worked with enough people to know that most people who rate themselves lower tend to be the high achievers. The people who always want more but never think they're doing good enough. Then the people who rate themselves higher tend to be the type of over-confident people who are in a comfort zone and have little to no desire to more.

Man, that is some real insight right there @Kung Fu Steve - are you some kind of mind wizard?

"If you rated yourself a 6 or lower here's what I know about you. You're a high achiever. You're goal oriented. You're success oriented. I know that you want to get out there and build something for yourself, for your family you want to create a legacy. And i love that about you...

I also know that you're consistently stressed, frustrated, and pissed off because you're not living up to your own standards.

Remember, you don't just have to achieve to be happy... you can happily achieve.

And your next level of success demands it. The ability to manage and control your emotional state. Imagine trying to skyrocket to success but you've got this weight on your shoulders called stress, frustration, distraction. The best results come when you're in a peak emotional state. When you're in the zone.

Now, is it fair to say we ALL have an area of our life we can rate ourselves an 8, 9, 10? Of course we do.

In those areas I know you're happy, grateful, and life is good but here's the challenge when life is going really good, sometimes we get stuck in a comfort zone. When life is going really well we tend to party. When it's not, we tend to ponder. And where do we grow? That's right. Pondering.

There's an old quote by a man named Jim Rohn. He said the greatest maturity of life is to be happy and grateful for what we have, yet still hungry for more.

Happy and grateful for the money you're making. Hungry for growth in your finances. Happy with the relationship that you're in, hungry for a deeper connection. Happy with your body, grateful for it and still hungry for more health, vibrancy, energy.

Happy and hungry..."

Little except from my main talks these days. I switch it up quite a bit. After 3,000 I love getting interrupted and challenged and knocked off script. But maybe that makes a little more sense.
 

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I sit on the Helpless fence. Everything I've tried never worked for me so I always have it in the back of my mind that, "This works for everyone else except for me."

I'm in a job that I can't stand and want out but I don't have a plan to get there. I spent 3-4 days journaling and came upon real estate investing as a way to keep the stable income from my full-time job and work investing in on the side until it cashflows enough to set me free.

I talked to a friend and he said all the right things. He has the Fastlane mindset without realizing it. I was sort of investigating it and watched a video from BiggerPockets (BP) about how the guy who started BP went through a family issue and was able to be there with his family because of his business.

I told myself I had nothing to lose and I had to do it for my family. I had to get out of my own way. I'll be 90 years old and regret never trying. So I spent some money and bought a real estate license course to become an agent with the goal that it will be complementary to investing.

Then, I dove into BP, watched a bunch of videos, got myself excited, watched some webinars and jumped into becoming a Pro member. I decided that I would look around my local area. I told myself I am going to work on this and make it work for me no matter what. I can do this! I tried to do everything I could to avoid the self-doubt, negative talk from others, etc....but it crept in. A friend doubted me and said I probably wouldn't do it. A co-worker told me it's risky and my job is safe and secure.

Now I'm doubting myself.

Finding deals around "my" expensive market is difficult.
Other people are finding deals because they live in better markets.
It's very competitive and I don't stand a chance.
Others know more than me and already have a head start.
Am I getting into real estate investing at the wrong time just before a recession starts or a real estate crash begins?
Am I going to lose everything and uproot my family?
Am I going to burst into a ball of flames?
Am I fighting an uphill battle?
Do I really want to go out there and plead people to pick me as their agent?
Now I'm going to have to go out and buy a couple suits just to look good. I'm not really much of a suit type.
What value am I creating?
Real estate agents are a dime a dozen.
Why the hell did I spend the money on this license course only to give up on it before I even saw what it was all about?
Should I switch to one of my other ideas that I don't even know if I'm going to work on?
I'd really like to do "this other thing" but I gave up on it before so why do I think it's going to work this time?

I get into this head game and always wish I had a better idea that excited me, that was tangible, and provided a little bit of traction to see the way forward. I was excited about "investing" but now all of a sudden I'm not working through the license course as often, I'm not staying consistent with looking for deals and analyzing properties as taught by BP, and I'm slowly sinking back to my comfort zone.

I think I'm always on the hunt for the easy path, the path of least resistance, where I don't actually have to work that hard. Quite often lately, I sit here and wonder if I jumped in too fast and didn't think through it properly. I feel like I kind of haphazardly spent the money although it felt like the right thing to do at the time.
 
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Black_Dragon43

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Twice per day, I scroll through the forum. Occasionally I recognize patterns of thinking or behavior and I go through a little internal struggle: "do I respond to this question with a heartfelt response" or "should I just keep scrolling" -- I'll admit, I've been scrolling a lot more than responding lately so I figured I'd take a minute to give some unsolicited advice.

Your current results are a direct reflection of your belief systems.

That means the amount of money you have in your bank account today is not due to covid, the election, California burning, or how you were treated as a child... it is a culmination of your beliefs around money that you've held for the last 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years...

Beliefs like "should I save my money or spend it", "should I invest or not", "should I go all in on my business or do it part time", or "is this really even going to work?"

The "Covid 19" weight that people have gained wasn't because of the pandemic. It was because of your beliefs around exercising and eating healthy "should I work out or skip it", "what's healthy or unhealthy"

Relationships, too. "Should I be in one or not", "what should I accept in this relationship and what shouldn't I accept in this relationship"

If you aren't happy with your current results, here's my suggestion:

Identify and change your limiting beliefs.

Luckily, there's really only 3 types of limiting beliefs; hopeless, helpless, and worthless.

Hopeless Beliefs are the ones where somebody says "Just shut up, Steve. Nobody can make money in this economy. Nobody can build a business in this situation. Relationships never last anyways. My genetics won't allow me to get in shape. This is bullshit, it can't be done!"

Helpless Beliefs are when someone says, "Easy for you to say. MJ can do it because he had a better idea. They have more money than me. They have more time than me. They have less kids than me. They have more hair than me. That's why THEY can do it and I can't!"

Worthless Beliefs are where someone says, "Fine, fine. You're right. Everybody can make money. Everyone can have a long-lasting loving relationship. Everyone can have a great body... but if I'm being honest with you, man... I just don't think I deserve it. I don't think I'm worth it. I don't think if I made that money, I'd be able to keep it. I don't think if I got into that relationship, I could ever make them stay."

Can you see how devastating this psychology and these beliefs could be to someone's life and business?

For those of you who are here asking the questions over and over again like "should I go or stay", "should I invest or not", "should I start this business or put it off" -- my question for you is which one of these beliefs are really holding you back? ...And are they really true?

While I often spend hours helping people shift their beliefs, I can tell you exactly how to do it in very few words:

A belief is simply a feeling of absolute certainty you have about something.

If you didn't have certainty about that belief... you wouldn't believe it! You just feel like it's true. (And man it really does FEEL real, doesn't it?)

To change a limiting belief, simply start by figuring out what the belief is, then create doubt in it. Ask the question "is this belief really true?" and "are there examples of someone in my situation that made it work anyways?" or "have I even succeeded at this in the past and maybe I'm just overthinking it, now?"

I'm more than willing to help but I think it would be even more valuable for you and the whole forum -- if you're up for it -- to post an old belief you held in the past... and then what changed it for you? How do you see it now?

As an example... growing up, I truly believed money was scarce and extremely hard to come by. The first real shift in that mindset was coming here on the forum and meeting really successful people who started with nothing. When they spoke about how easy it was to make money, it really created doubt in that belief. "Maybe it ISN'T so tough... I'm just making it a bigger deal than it really is..."

Today when I look at how much money is in the system (especially here in the U.S. with another 2 TRILLION dollars floating around), I can't help but think "wow, it really is everywhere and people have no problem spending it!"

What is it for you? What shifted? What changed?
This is a very good post, the best I've read from you on the forum yet. I think it deserves GOLD, so congrats.

However, I don't agree 100% with your point of view.

I'm much closer to @Paul David for example.

Yes, MINDSET is very important, I would put it in the top 3 success factors.

However, the importance of MINDSET tends to get exaggerated in this community, to the detriment of other important factors.

Let me give you my example.

I've scaled to mid 6 figures with my agency.

I also sell a course, which I view as a different business, although I use my agency to market it. The course has done close to 20K by now, since I first put it out a little over 1 year ago. However, all-in-all, time invested, money spent on advertising, etc. it's still in the red.

Now, I have two paths to million+.

One is with my agency. I have 3 clients I'm working with who have the potential to scale to 10M+. One of them is already at 1M+, one is 6-figures, and the other has a REALLY strong business that we managed to get from 0 to 20K in one month so far. If any one of them gets to 50M for example, I will have my million. Nothing to do with mindset, and everything to do with KNOWLEDGE and TIME. As much as I want to INSTANTLY do it, this is not possible. It requires launching new products, expanding the product range, building the sales channels, extensive testing etc. This requires time.

Now look at my course. There are people selling alternative courses in the make money niche who are making 3-20M/year. Why am I not a millionaire with my course yet? I can tell you for sure that the KNOWLEDGE inside the course is quite possibly the best on the planet in its category. I have a BURNING DESIRE to scale it. So why am I not a millionaire with it, and have just made 20K so far?

I think two reasons... The first is that my course does not yet have mass-appeal... These days people don't want to learn and work anymore. They just want the result. Instant gratification. Done-for-you. I have to convert my course into that, which is what I'm doing for the third update.

The second reason is that I don't have my own funnel prepared to the right standards, because I've simply been struggling to find the time to do it, between managing the agency and client work, and this project. So I know what I need to do, I know what others are doing to hit those numbers, all I really need to do is see what they're doing right and test until I hit my own sweet spot. I am doing this, but again, it takes time. As much as I'd LOVE to have it instantly done, it's not possible. Very often I get frustrated, but remind myself that there is no other way except step by step.

Weak entrepreneurs would say "Pff, a course! Everyone has that, you need to do something different" -> which is bullshit. If people are making millions out of X, you can too.

Of course I am 100% sure that I still have limiting beliefs, I'm pretty sure we all do. But I don't feel HELPLESS, I don't feel WORTHLESS, and I don't feel HOPELESS. I have a very clear plan, it's just a matter of time.

So both TIME and KNOWLEDGE are very important factors along with MINDSET.

What I see in the forums is a lot of people focused on MINDSET, I'm going to do this bla bla bla, but they never do anything, and in many cases NOT because of mindset, but because they lack KNOWLEDGE. They simply do NOT take the time required to get the KNOWLEDGE that they need.... which requires a LOT of time and effort. Most people don't want to put in the work... there's NOTHING more to it than that. They want the success, but not the work. They want to succeed while remaining dumbasses who can't even tell right from left...

If you gain the knowledge, let me tell you - it's only a matter of time before you'll succeed and before your mindset will improve and everything. Of course, when you lack knowledge, you have a POOR MINDSET - and factually so, you know that you don't know what leads to success in business. So how could you possibly feel confident, at least in a rational way?

I've been learning for YEARS to be able to do what I'm doing today, and I've pretty much been doing it full-time. People simply do not spend the TIME necessary for success. They want instant. Instant gratification. Now. Just change your mindset. Wohooo! Instant result! Wow...

Now to complete the circle... one of my own limiting beliefs from the past:

I thought I couldn't succeed in business without first working for someone else, but I did.

The belief was put into my head by my parents, but I made the DECISION never to work for anyone, and I didn't. I didn't start by believing this was possible... I just didn't have an alternative, and I had to do it. So I did it, all the while being very scared and not knowing what I'm doing, but I devoted my entire energy, 100%, to succeeding. So as my success grew, my belief started to fade away, and be replaced by a certain inner confidence. But it was a gradual thing... which happened as I became more successful, not the other way around. My stubbornness and arrogance helped - without them, I would never have managed to get to where I am today, because I would have probably given up.
 
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Kung Fu Steve

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Thanks for pointing this out as coming to the forum has been tiring as of late.

Let's not let a couple bad apples ruin it. We're living in a digital world now. And it's full of trolls and horribly angry people who hide behind keyboards. Best invention invented is the ignore button
 

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So, it's going to be a bit meta, but here is one belief I'd like to be challenged:
I believe that beliefs (no matter justified or erroneous) are imprinted on you either by experience or your environment. Which means I'm not sure people can truly change their beliefs just by reading a statement contrary to a belief they currently hold.

Not trying to discredit your post, it's a great insight in itself. I'm just wondering whether passing this message, in this form, can truly help some people, or if it's a waste of time because either people already believe what you believe, or they don't, and thus can't change their belief just by reading a message on a forum.

The latter would be my belief, although the more mature I get, the more open to changing my beliefs I am.

Funny you mention this. Stanford University did a psychological study some 8-9 years ago and found that for the average human being 60% of your beliefs, habits, patterns were formed by the age of 5.

By the age of 18, closer to 100%. Your beliefs are not really your beliefs. At least, very few of them. Your parents, your teachers, your friends, your environment all had a hand in conditioning you one way or the other.

But the truth is, they are not imprinted, they are conditioned. Which means they can be re-conditioned.

And you're right -- most people can't simply change their beliefs by reading one of my dumb posts... but I'm curious... have you ever changed a belief? What triggered it? What was the moment? Was it a book you read? A movie you saw? A significant life event? When you had kids? When you got married? When you moved? Started a business? What was the trigger for you to stop thinking one thing, and start thinking another?

You've already changed beliefs thousands of times since childhood. Hell at one point we believed Santa was a thing. And then at some point, something happened where we said "oh, maybe not."

A silly post on this forum changed my beliefs years ago. Before MJ wrote the first book, he would share his thoughts and ideas here. At that point I was really just getting started in my career and thought I knew everything. I thought that business I was in was *it* and that was going to be the end-all be all. I was going to retire rich someday. And he pointed out some of the flaws in my math. It shook me up. Got me to go back to the drawing board and see that his beliefs were ones I wanted to adopt.

It took a moment. A conversation.

Most people think change happens over a long time. Nope. It takes one moment. Just one.
 

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So I don't have a contributing comment to the thread of old beliefs -> new beliefs. But I have a question that I think could be really helpful to myself as well as others.

How do you identify the limiting beliefs you have? Broad, I know, but let me try to explain.
When you were listing those things off, none really jumped out at me and made me think "oh, that's ME".
But I'm SURE that I have them in some form or another. Do you have suggestions/an exercise to help find/flush out those things?
Or is it just "as simple" as sitting down with yourself and doing some serious introspection about everything with the context you've laid out above? Asking why/what similar to what you did with Paul?
 

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So I don't have a contributing comment to the thread of old beliefs -> new beliefs. But I have a question that I think could be really helpful to myself as well as others.

How do you identify the limiting beliefs you have? Broad, I know, but let me try to explain.
When you were listing those things off, none really jumped out at me and made me think "oh, that's ME".
But I'm SURE that I have them in some form or another. Do you have suggestions/an exercise to help find/flush out those things?
Or is it just "as simple" as sitting down with yourself and doing some serious introspection about everything with the context you've laid out above? Asking why/what similar to what you did with Paul?
A sign is when you use sentences with need, should, must, only, etc.

I’m wary of people who use those words too.

“You need to ...”

“You must ...”

“We should ...”

“X only happens when Y.”

I’m sure Steve has smarter ways of spotting them. I’m just conscious of those sorts of phrases.
 

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I’ve made mistakes like borrowing money and purchasing the wrong stock . Probably also spent too much time working in the businesses instead of on them.

What belief led you to buy that particular stock?

What belief made you borrow money to buy that particular stock?

Did you buy at the peak and it came down? Was it a penny stock that disappeared? A company that went bankrupt? What did you believe immediately after that setback? Why didn't it work? Did you jump right back onto the investment horse or was there something that made you stop or hesitate or switch gears?

What made you work "in the business" versus on it?

When I was younger I made some silly decisions like buying a brand new $40k Mercedes when I was 23.

I believe that every decision I’ve made has led me to the position I’m currently in. It’s nobody else fault.

You're absolutely right -- truth be told, it's not even your fault... you were conditioned and pre-framed to think and behave a certain way... and while it's not your fault -- today -- it's your responsibility.

But even that belief right there "it's all my fault" -- is that really true? I understand taking responsibility but I can guarantee there's more to unpack in that one sentence right there.

"It's all my fault. I wasn't smart enough to make the right decisions. If only I had this thing, I would've been more successful. I didn't listen to my gut and I can't believe i did it AGAIN!"

Not saying you think any of this, just suggesting some common thoughts many people have.

I’ve always believed I’m going to be a millionaire since I was 16 and that’s not changed even now I’m 40 and I’ve had to file for bankruptcy earlier this year. (Due to borrowing money and buying wrong stock - I ended up personally liable as I signed guarantees).

I’ll keep trying until I’m dead!

Rough draw of the cards. Looking back at that decision now... was it the right one? The wrong one? Was it the right decision with a wrong strategy? Right strategy but wrong stock? What do you believe about all of that today?

P.S. Who in the world lent you money to purchase stock?
 

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Wow -- this is a fantastic list!

Nobody consciously woke up this morning and see "gee, I can't want to fear failure today!"

All of these beliefs are conditioned. Which is great... because they can be reconditioned!

What's the difference between the times when we face a challenge and breakthrough versus the times when we end up feeling helpless and the problem lingers?

Whenever we find ourselves feeling helpless or unable to improve a situation, it’s because we have fallen into learned helplessness.

In learned helplessness, these 3 P's show up:

1. PERVASIVE: We think that because our finances are destroyed that our whole life is ruined. It’s not true, we have our health, our relationships, and tons of other things. It’s not pervasive, but sometimes we react as if it is.

2. PERMANENT: No problem is permanent. When things are good we think they will be good forever. When things are bad, we feel like it will be bad forever. Neither one is true. Life has seasons. We ALL go through Winters and we all eventually get to Spring. Nothing is permanent, life is constant change.

3. PERSONAL: We think it’s us. If we were smarter, prettier, stronger, if we lived over there, if we had this family, if we were taller, thinner, richer, then we wouldn’t be in this situation. We all do this. We take it personally and think that somehow, if we were XYZ (good enough) we would magically not have these “problems”. It’s not you, it’s not personal. Problems are a part of life. (Suffering is optional)

Any time you think your problem is all 3 of these things we get in that funk of "why even bother".

What if -- just for a second -- you thought the opposite of each of these beliefs? Are there plenty of references and evidence to support the opposite?

Finding deals around "my" expensive market is difficult.

What if it didn't matter how expensive a property was... what if it mattered what the ROI would be?

Other people are finding deals because they live in better markets.

What if they have a disadvantage because they DO live in better markets and can't find the deals you can?

It's very competitive and I don't stand a chance.

What if it's all bluster and most of these people just talk a good game? What if you were the right person for the job?

Others know more than me and already have a head start.

What if it's not how you start, it's how you end up?

Am I getting into real estate investing at the wrong time just before a recession starts or a real estate crash begins?

What are ways you can invest while preparing for a dip?

Am I going to lose everything and uproot my family?

Nope! ... but even if you did... would that be so bad? Or would that start a brand new chapter of your life?

Am I going to burst into a ball of flames?

I don't see this happening anytime soon... do you work with fireworks?

Am I fighting an uphill battle?

Not if you're going in a different direction ...

My pattern seems to be, "I can do this! I'm super excited. If others can do it, so can I. Here are all the steps. I'm committed!" And then I jump in. "Hmm...what am I missing? This is harder than I thought. I'm getting frustrated. It's not working as fast as I want it to. I'm going to have to work super hard at this. I didn't know about that before I started. I didn't know about that either. Do I really want to do this? Maybe I should try something else since this isn't working."

Then I get frustrated and quit and spin my wheels for another 3 months. I get depressed and anxious because I can't stand my job and I have a hard time seeing my way out.

Then, I gather up the courage to go after something else, run into obstacles, push through a little bit until I get tired and worn out (which doesn't take long), and give up again. And then I get more and more frustrated because nothing seems to work and nothing is getting me closer to "working for myself" where I have freedom of time and can get away from a job I don't like.

I'm constantly in start-up mode learning new things, getting excited, trying it, it not working out like I imagined, getting frustrated, spin my wheels, get tired of the obstacles and roadblocks and feeling like I'm going nowhere, start over at something else, get excited, try it, it doesn't work out...etc.

But, you're absolutely right. I need to turn everything into a positive and overcome these beliefs. I also need to break it all down into chunks. My first real action should be talking to a local bank to see how much I can get pre-approved. And then I can be slightly more confident going into making an offer.

Offers cost nothing.

If I analyze a deal that comes out at $400 cashflow with a 9% ROI, and that gets me in the game, then I need to make an offer. I was just looking at a property listed for $360,000. Running the numbers on it, I would have to get it for $279,000. That seems like a crazy lowball, but I should make the offer anyway. If they counter-offer, then I get the leverage to say yes or no. Or they flat out reject it and I move on.

Another thing I've seen is just driving around the areas I want to invest in and write down all of the properties that look abandoned, vacant, or not cared for. Then, I can do some research, find the owners, and send them letters. These would be off-market deals that aren't being seen by hundreds and hundreds of people scanning the real estate websites.

And before anyone says it, house hacking is not going to happen so that's out of the question.

I always tell myself there has to be a way that it can work for me. I just doubt myself way too much and try to avoid going through the growing pains. I avoid the "hard work" because I subconsciously want to find the easy way out. I'm so tired and worn out and burned out from my full-time job that I want this process to be smooth and easy and not cause so much headache. I really think I'm trying to avoid any stress, anxiety, and negative emotions because that is what I deal with so much on a daily basis.

Why oh why can't it be easier to get the ball rolling?

I'm not 100% committed to real estate investing. It's what I sort of led myself to while journaling throughout September. Needs and problems everywhere, but yet, I don't have that idea that gets me going, that gets me up in the morning and makes me want to overcome the obstacles, that puts me in the position I want to be in as a leader, and happier, and stress free (in my own way), where I feel like I'm providing value to work around great and amazing people, to be fulfilled, and feel on top of the world. I could go on so much more.

I appreciate your response @Kung Fu Steve. I wish there were many more opportunities to sort out my brain. Your optimism and energy always lifts me up.
 

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Great post @Kung Fu Steve

The "Covid 19" weight that people have gained wasn't because of the pandemic. It was because of your beliefs around exercising and eating healthy "should I work out or skip it", "what's healthy or unhealthy"

This is timely, I recently got out of a relationship and am dating again, hearing a lot of "I used to be in better shape, gained weight during covid.." - No you gained weight because you have bad habits and don't believe your body is a priceless gift. Covid is an excuse to justify poor behaviour...

As for my own beliefs, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I definitely think I have some scarcity beliefs which I am actively trying to address and maintain an attitude of abundance. I'm constantly thinking will sales last... and noticing as well as small things I do daily reflect this mentality, like I noticed I keep around toothpaste tubes until I squeeze every last drop. I mean I tell myself I do it to not be wasteful but I realized at the same time is that really an abundance mindset? I don't need to unnecessarily create trash but I probably don't need to roll the tube 4 times and shake to get the last few atoms of toothpaste out of there before opening a new one (slight exaggeration but you get the point). I'm still trying to find the origins of this belief.

With regards to previous beliefs a big aha moment for me was finding MJ's book and realizing this entire other path existed. There is so much scripted dogma that I didn't really consider an alternate path and was just focused on getting mediocre raises and climbing the corporate ladder before finally googling "how do I get rich" and stumbling across this forum. I think this probably resonates with a lot of others who found this place.
 

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Don't forget drug dealers lol..

When I was 13-14, every time I would see a Ferrari or Lamborghini, my parents would be like "doctor or drug dealer".

I don't blame them though... they've never met people like Moiz Ali who sold a deodorant brand for $100m or John Doe who makes $2m/year with his dog brand.

I've never met a drug dealer making more than 60k/year.

60k WAS a lot of money in my neighborhood... but it was silly.

There's a silly quote from "Get rich or die trying" with 50 cent where he realized while selling crack on the corner all day every day he was making less than minimum wage based on the amount of hours he was out there. Not to mention the risk.
 

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Kung Fu Steve

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It isn't that easy to change the beliefs even with consciousness and certitude that it's not helping you. It needs discipline and repetition every damn day until it change. Cause even if you think you're believing in something new emotion aren't there. And the subconscious keep working with the old one's. The better and the fastest way is to start by meditation learn to calm and relax your mind and reading some books that helps like (limitless Jim kwik ) the miracle morning hal Elrod .napoleon hill ( law of success , think and grow rich ...etc) and than having and everyday plan. And by time you'll feel your beliefs changing, and by time you become a new version of your self that make you get more health wealth love and happiness....
And this will be your new lifestyle reading books doing meditation and affirmations visualising and then working smarter and having more energy and money to invest in your dreams that nourish your beliefs your purpose your life it's not that hard if you get the real attention to do it for a lifetime it will be hard just like the first week and the end of the week you'll start feeling better and you feel it really inside you that's enough to push you trought .
Sorry if I did some mistakes in language I'm just becoming bilingual for like months. I'm from Algeria and the second language in my country is French so I'm still developing my English skill.
Wish you'll health wealth love and happiness

Here's a philosophical question for you: what if it were easy to change beliefs?

All change happens in a moment.

Most people say it takes forever to change. Not true. It took forever for someone to get to the point where it was a must for them.

For a belief to change, you must first believe:

1.) It MUST change NOW
2.) I CAN change it NOW
3.) I MUST change it NOW

A little more detail:

1.) I am going to receive massive and immediate pain if it I don't change right now, and massive immediate pleasure if I change right now.

2.) I (not someone else will change it for me) am the one who can (it's possible to change) change it now (not sometime in the future).

3.) I (me) MUST (pain/pleasure) change it NOW (immediately)

If you get all three of those, your belief changes in one second. It doesn't take 27 years sitting on a couch talking to some professional about your mother and your father.

It doesn't take meditating and thinking about it.

In fact, I would say do NOT sit down and think about it because you will put yourself in a physiologically down state where you'll be less resourceful, less focused, less positive. STAND UP. MOVE.

You can't think your way out of something you acted yourself into.

GOLD.

How can we be proactive as possible with belief change?
Are there any practices you would recommend?

When you catch yourself saying something that you know is bullshit -- call yourself out BEFORE you stack on the references.

"See that's why nobody loves me" -- wait. Stop. Bullshit.

"Always, Never, Everybody, and Nobody" are always followed by complete and utter bullshit.

All beliefs are held up by references.

"I'm sexy because when I was 16 and stopped at a stop light some pretty girls turned and smiled at me"

Probably were looking at me stuffing my face and laughing -- but because I created the meaning in my head that I'm sexy, that's what I stick with.

But if you find yourself going down that rabbit hole in a negative way, make your move, change your physiology, and tell the truth :)

As he said, the fastest way is to start by meditation learn to calm and relax your mind. I have 2 years of experience. Is there anything you would like to know?

Nah.

There's a lot of benefit to meditation and relaxing your mind.

Milton Erickson was the greatest hypnotherapist of all time... but I have a hard time re-producing his results.


I'd just say don't be too hard on yourself. None of these things are as bad, or as insurmountable, as they seem. Some are probably flat out false.

Probably the best statement in this entire thread!
 

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I already had similar stock in the UK (power supplies) that was doing ok but the profits where only just enough to get by on. So I thought I'd borrow money and use that money to buy the same stock but ship it and sell it in Italy, Spain, France, Germany and USA. There was some production issues which delayed them getting into the warehouse but the main problem was that I was using a UK database to sell the power supplies - ie 5V Power Adapter for Motorola T20 baby monitor. However in the other countries that model wasn't sold. So I didn't have a database of models for each country to sell the power supplies.

I borrowed money £150k in total from Funding Circle, which is a UK peer to peer lending company. It was done in my Limited company but I personally signed the loans. The repayments alone where £3000 a month. So the company failed and I was on the hook for the debt.

Looking back now it was a bad decision and an expensive lesson learned. I could have still been selling the same products in the UK now had I not made that decision, however I'd be doing that until I was 70 as they were never going to give me the lifestyle I desire.

I do agree with you that lots of people do have negative beliefs around money but I've never been one of those.

Funnily enough i was reading through another thread on the forum and it's led me to the conclusion that I've never provided enough value at scale. I'm always thinking of how much money I can make first before thinking about any value it provides to anybody.

It's easy to beat yourself up over a decision especially when it was probably the right decision at the time.

Every time we have a "significant emotional event" in our life, our beliefs have to be re-evaluated.

Both positive and negative. My parents got divorced when I was 3. Originally, the belief was "it's all about money and we don't have any money because of me, it's my fault."

Silly example, but how many children go through a similar phase?

When it comes to beliefs, everything that comes out of out mouths is either math or a belief.

"I've never provided enough value at scale" is a belief -- now it totally might be true! But either way it's still a belief.

But it's an incomplete belief.

Basically every belief, empowering or limiting has an "IF, THEN, MEANS" frame.

"If I try to build a business, then I'll get rejected, and that means I'm a failure."

"If I buy more stock, then it'll be the wrong decision again, and that means I'll go bankrupt."

Something along those lines. While you might not call it "hopeless, helpless, worthless" -- it's simply that feeling of certainty. You know something is "true" -- and some of the things you think are true today... might only be true inside your mind. Does that make more sense?
 

BlackMagician

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What I see in the forums is a lot of people focused on MINDSET, I'm going to do this bla bla bla, but they never do anything, and in many cases NOT because of mindset, but because they lack KNOWLEDGE. They simply do NOT take the time required to get the KNOWLEDGE that they need.... which requires a LOT of time and effort. Most people don't want to put in the work... there's NOTHING more to it than that. They want the success, but not the work. They want to succeed while remaining dumbasses who can't even tell right from left...

I am VERY knowledgeable. I have put lots of time and effort to acquire knowledge. I am still not successful.
anything you want to add?

If you gain the knowledge, let me tell you - it's only a matter of time before you'll succeed and before your mindset will improve and everything.
Sorry buddy, but knowledge means nothing. Knowledge is power? no. The implementation of that knowledge is Power.
Why most people have the knowledge to change their life but still not implement? because of limited belief and mindset issue.
What's that? Think more about limiting beliefs.

One of my client, who already has 2 exits with 600 Crore INR (6Billion INR) says, one of the key factors between those who do Million and Billion is Mindset and beliefs.
No, he doesn't run an agency with 6 figures. He has multiple businesses with 7+ figures and that's his advice. He is a nice guy BTW. Very friendly.

I am not talking bad about you here. Just that, from the way you posted, I smell full of 'ME' thought that 'YOU' are right.
You may be right, you may be wrong. That's the mindset we should have. Agree to disagree?

Why i care to reply? because i have always been knowledgeable and put time and efforts to achieve the required knowledge but never succeed. After joining this forum, only 1 thing changed and my life took a turn. Guess what? Beliefs.

Hope i was not rude with my words above. I am not good with English accent so i am sorry if my words felt rude.

Open to discuss in private. lets not flood this Gold advice thread.
 

Kung Fu Steve

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Do you know any good books by Martin Seligman?

That completely depends on what you're looking for!

I don't ever recommend doing what I did and slog through the (text)books. His are simpler than a Milton Erickson or a Richard Bandler but you don't need to understand the roots to pick the fruit.

Are you a psychologist, psychiatrist, or coach?

If not, I wouldn't really bother.

Tony Robbins is by far the number one person on the planet to teach practical psychology to the general public. You want useable stuff for today? Yeah. He's it.

Otherwise you're going to study for years before you get the details of change and why it works/why it doesn't.
 

Kung Fu Steve

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@Kung Fu Steve What a thread man! Thank you so much for sharing this information...
I'm from a country and "society" where everyone is indoctrinated from the moment he/she is born and where questioning and critical thinking is next to impossible because everyone is following the same financial and spiritual path and thus getting the same results. Growing up I had A LOT of beliefs that I have questioned consistently in the last 2 years all thanks to some individuals that are making a huge impact on many lives through their work. Some of them are motivational/inspirational speakers, like Sandeep Maheshwari from India, others are authors, like MJ.

Just to give a little perspective, most of us have had that experience of indoctrination no matter where we're from.

Here in the U.S., it's "go to school, get a job, work 40 years, vote, and hope someone will take care of you"

And if you questioned that, you must be batshit crazy!

Humans are so much more alike than they are different. The culture might feel different but if you dig in, you hear people's beliefs "Because I'm Italian, we're focused on family", or "Because I'm Chinese, my parents demand excellence from me", or "Because I'm from this neighborhood, I am destined for this"

I definitely don't want to downplay your experience, I just want to remind you that you're not alone :)
 

MJ DeMarco

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In my first year of college, I read "The Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer.
Then one of my friends recommended me MJ's books. So I read "Unscripted". These two books changed the way I saw and understood the world around me and myself. From that point today I'm constantly learning and questioning everything.

So cool to be associated with The Untethered Soul, it is as great book. I highly recommend his other one as well, The Surrender Experiment.

Please tell your friend "thank you" for recommending my work.
 

Think Expand

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@Kung Fu Steve I hope you will also help me out here. When I got started online, I sent more than 100 proposals/applications for jobs in my local market, but not any good reply. I was poor, broke and had lots of silly beliefs in the helpless category.

However, one day applied to a job at Craig list, still in the Ghana category. Luckily, I got a quick reply and started working. But this guy lives in the USA, New York. Since 2017 to 2019, about 90% of my income has come from the USA/UK even though I work in Ghana.

But one day, I realized that I have hit the ceiling. I can't make any much more.. because even if I work 10hrs per day for 6 days, I just can't break above my monthly financial targets. I started getting sicky and thinner because I seem to be overworking and never feeling happy even though I was making good money.

I guess that was when all my problems started...

I noticed I had to move from freelancing to entrepreneurship. So, started an agency last year, but serving my local country folks rather than getting the big deals from the US, since I slightly lost focus and my freelance deals with some of US/UK companies I was working with.

When I started, and even now, I still struggle with these limiting beliefs. Back about 90% of my income comes from abroad and 10% local. Now, it's a reverse 90% local, 10% abroad. I just keep managing them and moving on.

Finding better deals in my local country is difficult.
Getting local people to pay for deals is slow and slow.. and this slows up operation.
Looks like I sell lower than most of my competitors in the US/UK.
Other people are finding better deals because they live in better markets.


My first target is to dominate my local market... and become a local champion...create more jobs for lots of young people here and then scale to Nigeria and South Africa. Yet, I still had to deal with these limiting beliefs if I want to get there.

I had spent this weekend reading MJ's Millionaire Fastlane to also get some help there as well. Please, can you offer some help to deal with these silly limiting beliefs?
 

BizyDad

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For those of you who are parents , what beliefs will you impart to your children now? I certainly want my children to have a good head start.

I certainly don't want to pass on my helpless belief! Thanks @Kung Fu Steve for the wonderful post!
I find myself saying these kinds of things often:

You can do it.
Keep trying.
You can figure it out.
Talk to your brother/sister and figure it out together.

They also have chores. No reward, no allowance, they are expected to do their chores because we all have duties and responsibilities.

And I ask them often, "What do you think?" Whether it's about what we're going to do today, or what to eat, or what just read together, or how to accomplish something, I solicit their opinion often. Not always, they still know Dad's the boss, but I want to encourage them to think for themselves. If they don't have an opinion, I encourage them to think it over.

I also encourage a lot of reading, which helps show them what is possible.
 

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