Spot BS: Post your favorite MLM pitch...

[Bearcorp]

I'll bite.

As a recovering MLM/cult member, I was told to say stuff like this;

"We help mentor select individuals in life, including how to step away into early retirement, pay off their debts, travel the world, grow spiritually, and help their marriages."
"I work with some local entrepreneurs who've helped me and my wife step away from our corporate jobs into earlier retirement"

If asked what exactly I did, I was instructed to say;

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I get the feeling what you mean to ask is "how" do I achieve the results that I do? In all honestly, what I do doesn't fit into any 'box' and frankly, most people need to go through an interview and qualification process before they are ready to earn that information."

They would go on to say, and this is true, that we require people to go through an "interview and qualification" process between 6-8 weeks before they could sign up in our MLM. It was all about leadership, mentorship, and weeding out people in an attempt to have members that stayed longer and were more loyal.

In the end, it was really just brainwashing, but dressed up so well in the leadership/mentorship/entrepreneurship crowd that it becomes a cult that keeps people in for years instead of months.

They've been growing like weeds across US and Canada in the past few years.

The best thing about being involved in the past, is now and in the future you can smell their bullshit a mile away. Im grateful for my couple of experiences in MLM, I learnt a few things about sales and marketing, and I learnt to understand someone genuine reaching out to me as opposed to an MLM pitch.

 

[Zcott]

I have had recent experience with multi level marketers. I had never encountered them before until now.

I went to a business event and unknowingly got trapped by two MLMs.

One drove me around in their Mercedes C Class (kind of funny considering this was in MJ's opening post). Didn't speak to them again after learning it was MLM.

The other one was ambiguous and spoke about mentoring, I only learnt they were an Amway/ World Wide Dream Builders MLM after four meetings with them.

My honest thought is MLM is a way to get rich, there are people out there who make a lot from it. But it's very manipulative and deceitful, claiming they want to help people but really they just want to rip you off. You are not helping anyone or creating any value.

Anyway, lesson learnt I guess.

 

[P789]

This is what I recently heard in a radio program in our province

This (name of distributor) guy has earned $104000 (₱5000000), selling a health drink and the radio announcer said that, this is already passive income per month.

I was into thinking, how much did this guy earned in commissions?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Ing]

Not MLM, but thought it was kind of funny... I was reading TMF in the library and someone came up to me asking me what I'm reading, anyways long story short he ended up being a life coach...

Ah...

A friend of mine with a good money met so one, too. Short after he spent/donated all his money And his business to scientlogy church. But they gave him a job!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Simon Angel]

How has the EU not shut that down? Or that guy getting fired? Subversively Using your health care job to prescribe pills is is the lowest of lows for these MLM wanks.

He had that "dumb and innocent" look about him and always made sure all of the doctors and other medical personnel were out of hearing distance.

This is in the best hospital in Bulgaria, by the way. And the corrupt surgeon (and director) at the hospital lashed out on me and told me I would die after I refused treatment. His whole demeanor was very thug-like.

The guy also said he won't do part two of my surgery and subsequently a young, extremely intelligent surgeon at the age of 29 (part of the big boss' surgical unit) said it wasn't right and promised me that he'll do it personally.

This was in 2018. So what's the status of these three guys now?

MLMale nurse - N/A

Corrupted surgeon - has been leading Bulgaria's C0VlD-19 response and is in bed with our prime minister a.k.a our dictator

Intelligent and promising young surgeon - left the most prestigious hospital shortly after and moved to another city in a mediocre hospital

He said it was in part due to the treatment I received in there for deciding to take my health into my own hands (threatened, berated) and the fact that the big boss wanted him gone, again because of my insubordinance to the healthcare mafia.

He did also mention that the guy really was corrupt and up to no good and that he had proof, which came as no surprise to me. However, he knows that if he were to share this publicly it would mean his life is over.

f*cked up world.

 

[Rawr]

I like it when one shows to a newbie how to cold call on people, and when these people hang up on them, try to rationalize why these people don't 'get it'

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Kak]

And... It is only 479.99 to get started!!! We will finance for you!

 

[RHL]

Always ask how much the seller makes. Not how much "one guy" or "people" make/have made, how much do they make? I don't consider this to be at all impolite or improper, since the issue of how much is earned in a year is being touted in the pitch.

BTW, congrats: You are now a "dream stealer."

 

[dknise]

I always feel kinda bad for them. I've never met a smart or socially mobile person in MLM. I'm sure they must be in there, near the top, but the peons are always the most world-weary helpless rubes who've ever lived.

Bingo. My mentor is incredibly high in Amway and makes a killing as a standard Amway IBO. Going to a "rally" and seeing everyone worship the ground he walks on is hilarious.

 

[RHL]

If someone wants me to give them mindless adulation like that, they need to go beyond success. They need to do like what Jeremy Clarkson does-Make a fortune doing something normal people would *pay* a fortune to do.

 

[Hong King Kong]

You can own your own business! And only have to manage 2 people under you!....

And if these 2 people are good, and manage 2 more people under them... imagine the compound growth! You'll be rich in NO TIME!

 

[Kak]

I always feel kinda bad for them. I've never met a smart or socially mobile person in MLM. I'm sure they must be in there, near the top, but the peons are always the most world-weary helpless rubes who've ever lived.

Ahahahaha I hope you stick around.

 

[Lauryn]

Love. This. Thread.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Ninjakid]

"Aren't you tired of those MLM schemes? SO ARE WE! That's why for $50 you can become a member and then buy our products..."

I was ready to flip a f***ing table

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[BlokeInProgress]

Happened to a friend of mine who got invited by his friend.

His friend: Hey bro, come with me this Wed night, its a lady's night.
My friend: Where we goin'?
His friend: I know a place, we can check out some babes.
My friend: Ok see you then!

Wednesday night.
His friend: We're here, let me introduce you to a friend of mine (upline)
His friend's Upline: Let me tell you about a business opportunity.
My friend: *In his mind* - "Kidnapped!"

 

[Mr.International]

Here are some commonly asked questions THAT SCREAM MLM.

1. ARE you looking for a groundbreaking opportunity?
2. Are you the type of person that keeps your ear to the ground for a business opportunity?
3. Whats your Plan B?
4. Are you looking to make supplimental income, i cant promise you anything but if you leave me your phone # i may get back with you? *HE or She Will Most Definitely Get Back With You*

if you hear these phrases RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!

Something else i find funny is when companies bash each other.

example;
(Amway Rep) We have the most credibility of Any Other Company! We have been around for 40+ years and 10 million reps worldwide. I"m thinking to myself How the hell am i going to make money competing with 10 million other people selling the exact same thing as me?

(Competitor) Amway is a Dinosaur their market is Saturated, we are on The Ground Floor you better get involved Before WE Hit Momentum So YOU CAN RIDE THE WAVE!!!

hahah i find it amusing.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Formless]

Just persuaded my friend to not take advantage of the Ground Floor opportunity that was made available to him by a kind gentleman who enjoys watching other young people succeed.

[HASHTAG]#DreamKiller[/HASHTAG]

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Twice yesterday I heard:

1. "Its ok whether you join or not, we'll always do what we do and always be here."
2. ACT NOW!!!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Ronnie]

"Mr XYZ is making 5 figures a week!"

Mr XYZ lives with parents and wears suits fresh off the rack at Sears.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[ilrein]

I'm starting a young entrepreneur's club...you'd fit right in!

Just pass along your email...and checkout Alex on our website, the guy sliding on the Benz in his suit. He's just two years older than you!

 

[ZF Lee]

Financial freedom. (Financial freedom for the founder of the company, more likely)

Put your family first! (More like putting the family of the top guys first)

Do your own thing. (If I can't control it, it's not mine)

Change people's lives and help them! (More like helping the top guys to get rich and changing their lives for the better?!)

I'm sick and tired of being surrounded by people who go from one MLM to another, desperate for cash. Really pulled the true value of business into the mud.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[ExaltedLife]

I learned three valuable lessons from this experience:
1.) Be relentless about guarding your time. Money and relationships come and go, but the clock is always ticking and you can never earn back wasted hours of your life. Use it wisely. If something doesn't respect your time, cut it off or leave.

2.) Listen to your gut. If you feel something telling you that its too good to be true, it usually is. Trust yourself and don't fall prey to other peoples sales tactics.

3.) Trying to compete with 20,000 other people to sell the same products is going to compete the profit down to zero. If you can't add value, then don't waste your time - you are just chasing money. Aim to enter a business where you can make millions of dollars for your effort, not hundreds of dollars.

Awesome post, thanks for that story - it helped me to remember the same feelings I had after wasting my time on similar 'opportunities'. The 'god dammit, i've been had' feeling.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[KSR]

My life is consumed by MLM. My mum is a sucker for them (I love the woman and try to point it all out but she's a hopeful one), my sister has fallen for a couple.

Recently the manager at my gym has been trying to coerce me into buying into a 'business opportunity', smelled it from a mile away... hesitated to tell me the company name, got it out of them. The first thing I do when I get home from the gym is conduct a simple Google search '[Company] scam' and funnily enough the first thing that pops up is 9 people arrested for fraud. These MLM's are a F*cken' cult man (excuse the language).

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Mac]

I was pitching a business on a service and then the guy turns it into a reverse pitch where he's trying to sell me on a course for $5K. The owner of this business was also a consultant for this course.

He was telling me that I was going to be a millionaire in 6 months.

The course apparently teaches you how to "take what's up here" *as he points to his head* and bring it to life out here (referencing the physical world)

 

[McFirewavesJr]

"It's so massively huge that Donald Trump will talk about us in his next episode of The Apprentice."

And I'm still waiting from my ACN revolutionary video phone..

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Zcott]

they see the few amazing, hard working, sales kings/queens and then assume that they can do the same with no work. ... Most just flounder and fail to work at the business or try without good guidance or realistic expectations.

This is my view, hence why I say its a way to get rich. I think some view it as a 'get rich without work' and then scream pyramid when it does not work.

Most MLM people aren't ripping people off. They genuinely want to help others with their delusions of passive income fortunes. False premises yields false actions, not necessarily deception or ripping people off. And therein lies the problem: These folks actually think they're evangelizing for something new or novel.

The ripping off part I was alluding to was, from my experience at least, MLM talk to you all excited about helping people then tell you to buy their products and give them money. In my second experience it genuinely felt like they did not care and just wanted you to sign up.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Aren't you basically advocating for #4?

Yes, a real "be your own boss", not a fake one.

 

[Kal-El1998]

I've always laughed at the "work from home" pitches. Can you work from home and earn good money? Yes 100%, lots of people in this forum do it, I'm sure...but they aren't working from home selling vegan products to family and friends and traveling the world.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

He discovered this opportunity for helping people plan for their financial future and build wealth.

Primerica!

 

[KushShah9492]

It's always fishy when something is written in bold & capital.
Example: Lewis Howes' youtube videos have thumbnails like "WATCH THIS TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE"
IF YOU'RE LOST IN LIFE, WATCH THIS.
WATCH THIS TO LIVE LONGER.

Same goes for Jay Shetty's videos.
THE ONLY VIDEO YOU NEED TO WATCH TO IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Also, ENROLL IN MY COACHING PROGRAM TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

That's some BS right there.

Feeding on our weaknesses and insecurities= their business.