Spot BS: Post your favorite MLM pitch...

[jockinbox]

 

[BrandonS85]

"I'm a CEO of a company"

 

[workinprogress]

A couple years ago, I was approached by a young man asking for directions. We started chatting and he found out I was passionate about entrepreneurship and he invited me to come sit down with him and discuss a business opportunity. We sit down and he starts explaining all these well-known companies they work with and how easy it was to start making money selling for the company. I was skeptical, but was intrigued by the business model.

I had never heard of MLM at this point so I continued to prod him for information. He gave me somewhat vague answers and would not discuss his personal financial situation (red flag), but I was still interested. After all, when you are in college barely scraping by, the promise of making $1,000 a month working a few hours a week sounds very promising. He told me the company was having a conference and normally the tickets were $185, but because he thought I had potential, he would let me use one of his extra tickets for free. I told him I needed to think about it, but he informed me I needed to make a decision immediately because we needed to leave for the venue. This high pressure decision making tactic worked. So I agreed to go.

When we arrived at the venue, I saw a sea of immigrants and low-income Americans lined up anxiously awaiting to enter the conference building. This was red flag number two. If this business opportunity was so easy and lucrative, why did nobody here appear successful? At this point, my BS alarm is sounding off and I realize this is nothing more than a "get rich quick" scheme that is used to bait low income minorities into signing up. Nevertheless, I ignored my gut and stayed.

Upon entering the conference, I was shocked by how many people showed up. The conference was held in a stadium that could accommodate 20,000 people and it looked as if there wasn't an empty seat in the house. This social proof began to ease my red flags and made me believe this could be the real deal.

It wasn't.

They had a dozen speakers come up to work the crowd up with stereotypical motivational speeches - "you can do it!", "work hard and don't give up!", "don't let people talk you out of this opportunity, you can succeed!", "you can attain freedom just like me!" The crowd would get so worked up and worship every speaker. I felt embarrassed to be there, but stayed because I wanted it to be true. I wanted making money to be as easy as having a few friends.

Before each speaker came up, they had a video play beforehand showing off their material possessions - big houses, swimming pools, happy family, nice cars etc. In one of the videos, I laughed out loud because it was showing off a 2000 BMW 3-series (the conference was in 2014). This is when I finally realized this was all a bogus pyramid scheme. If one of their top guys - a "diamond" - is driving a 2000 BMW and thinks it is worth showing off, then clearly nobody here is making any money.

The conference dragged on for what seemed an eternity. I contemplated leaving a dozen times, but felt the social pressure to stay because of how much the guy spent on my ticket.

Finally, at 12:30 AM the conference let out. We all began filing out of the building into the parking garage and the guy continued to try and sell me on joining the "company". After sitting in standstill traffic in the parking garage for another 30 minutes I had finally had enough and hopped out of the car and decided to walk back to my car.

I didn't make it home that night until 2:30 AM and needless to say, I was irritated to have my Friday night wasted by such nonsense.

I learned three valuable lessons from this experience:
1.) Be relentless about guarding your time. Money and relationships come and go, but the clock is always ticking and you can never earn back wasted hours of your life. Use it wisely. If something doesn't respect your time, cut it off or leave.

2.) Listen to your gut. If you feel something telling you that its too good to be true, it usually is. Trust yourself and don't fall prey to other peoples sales tactics.

3.) Trying to compete with 20,000 other people to sell the same products is going to compete the profit down to zero. If you can't add value, then don't waste your time - you are just chasing money. Aim to enter a business where you can make millions of dollars for your effort, not hundreds of dollars.

I love when people think they are hot shit because they drive a 10 year old, 5 thousand dollar BMW. Enjoy paying out the a$$ on maintenance for your German mistake, attempting to impress other poor people into thinking you're less poor then them.

Just the fact that they placed so much value on what material possessions these guys had attained shows the complete wrong mindset these people have/are instilling in others.

Also I like how your spelled out what you learned at the end. Great post.

 

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[workinprogress]

Had I raved (lied) about MLM in TMF , I would have sold a hell of lot more books. But I have no regrets. Some express their opinion in authenticity, others tailor their opinion to what will make them the most money.

That right there is why I frequent this forum, and am so glad I found your book. You are the real deal Mr. DeMarco.

Sent from my SM-N920T using Tapatalk

 

[Mac]

Anotherperson I recently came across in Asia was a guy trying to tell me that he has a cream that cures cancer and autism.
He said it was banned by the FDA and they're no longer able to produce it because they were "shaking up the pharma industry".

He legitimately tried to tell me that people were calling him crying because they need more of this cream for their children.

Now he only keeps a private stash in case he gets cancer in the future. As my British friends would say "What a load of bullocks."

 

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[Bearcorp]

Ive had a couple.

This was early last year, I'd seen via Facebook a new health and wellness MLM kicking around my home state, and the person that actually contacted me about it? My ex-wife! Hadn't spoken properly in 5-6 years but they'd hooked her so much she approached me as I'm a "natural leader" You know the bulls*ts strong in an MLM when people are hitting up exes about it!!

Haven't seen much about it on Facebook anymore so that one obviously didn't take off.


Latest, a mate of a mate knows the business I have and randomly started asking if I was interested in a "cashflow positive income stream" for my business.

"just watch this 10 min video it has all you need to know"

"Can my mate give you a quick 20 min run down over the phone, its proving so popular in your niche you would kill it selling this!"
To be polite I did watch the video so I could find out the company name, didn't take a lot of digging online to find out the previous products the same crew had tried moving and the trouble caused. I spoke to our mutual friend to find out the pitch he was given and it was all the standard lines, my mate investigated them and tried to warn this guy but the brainwashed automatic responses to being questioned were well embedded.

Spotting the signs is great for avoiding people these days!

 

[sparechange]

Not MLM, but thought it was kind of funny... I was reading TMF in the library and someone came up to me asking me what I'm reading, anyways long story short he ended up being a life coach...

Ah...

 

[Simon Angel]

A male nurse that was taking care of me after I was gutted like a fish and almost dead from Crohn's disease decided it would be a good idea to tell me about these "natural pills" that have a "modifiable crystal cell" (whatever that was supposed to mean), and said it could cure my incurable disease.

He was very adamant about their effectiveness and supposed "EU approved" status.

I knew where this was going right from the start, but I humored him anyway and listened to what he had to say.

Apparently, he had already sold quite a few to other patients and was receiving a commission.

After he left, I did a quick Google search and I managed to find a forum where people decided to test these "pills" in a lab - 100% sugar.

And on their website, all I could find was junk science.

As I was leaving the hospital a week later, I thanked the dude for caring for me and told him that this was a dangerous game he'd been playing and that this company is FAR from legitimate, no matter what they told him.

P.S. As concerning as this story may sound, please do be aware that doctors and surgeons do the exact same thing on a regular basis on a much larger scale with drugs way more harmless than a gram of sugar.

 

[stranger]

What's a goal of this topic?

MLMs use phases that you can read in different marketing books, nothing new.

OK. i see this google ads banner every day since April.

 

[Astral Explorer]

MLM Drone: “You can make a ton of cash writing down license plate numbers!"

The company I represent is building a huge database of where people go. They are paying people to write down license plate numbers where ever they go. Say you are at Wal-Mart shopping, all you have to do is write down as many plate numbers as you want with the location of where the cars were at the time. You could write down 10, 15, 20, or even a thousand plate numbers if you want! The choice is up to you. You get paid .50 cent per license plate.

Sound like something you want to do? Of course it is! All you have to do is pay a small fee to get started. As soon as you sign up you can start taking down license plate numbers immediately.

The fee is $300, and then you only have to pay a $59.99 recurring monthly fee for a personal website we will set up for you.
But here is the kicker. For every person you sign up you receive a $100 bonus! All you have to do is sign 3 people up and this fantastic opportunity pays for itself!”

ME: What if I don’t want the website?

MLM Drone: You need the website to enter the license plate numbers you collected!

ME: Can’t I just build my own? I can find free hosting!

MLM Drone: No the company has to ensure a uniform quality of information storing.

ME: How is the company going to make money off of this besides the membership fees of recruits?

MLM Drone: they are going to sell the information to companies.

At this point I know it is a Ponzi mlm. The company has no real product and the only profit model is recruiting more drones. But I ponder what the catch is? I think at .50 a plate number one could make thousands of income a month, maybe even a week.

So I embellish on my enthusiasm, and take his card with his affiliate link on it. I go home and look the company up online. I read all of the terms and conditions that the company’s website has. The tos was probably the biggest I’ve ever seen at the time.

Somewhere between the middle and the end of the tos, I see the terms on payment for plate numbers collected. There it was, plain as day. It stated that it only paid for the first 10 license plates entered to the database every month. Basically you would be paying $300 onetime + $59.99 monthly to be paid a maximum of $5 per month. Once you were suckered there was no other way to recover your funds except to sucker other people. Classic Ponzi mlm.

The guy that pitched this to me used to sell legitimate utility payment solutions (Bill Pay) to bodegas. I owned a 30% stake in a bodega at the time so I saw this man frequently.

The next time I saw him he asked why I didn’t sign up, I told him I have dyslexia and that I thought it wouldn’t be a business I could participate in. My business partner happened to be standing next to me at the time. This a**hole drone started pitching it to him. My business partner was gullible and I knew he would get hooked. He was a middle-aged gambling degenerate. What he heard .50 a plate a slot machine went off in his head and he gave the “Where do I sign up face”. I immediately broke it down in terms of reality.

I shit you not, the drone exploded on me! “Mind your F*cking business!” “You are F*cking with my business!” “What the F*ck is the matter with you?” “You don’t F*ck with a man’s livelihood!” Then the most epic thing happened. My business partner picked up the bill pay terminal (cords and all), and threw it at the drone and yelled “Get the F*ck out of my store! And don’t come back!”

True story.

This is hilarious!!!!

I remember a few years back I almost went into an MLM as my friend invited me over to his house and the guy talked about how he didn't really put in much effort but made 4k a month on residuals. I remember going home pumped up, listened to every single call and mapped out the processes I'd follow to achieve millions!!! All I needed now was a nice 400+ dollars startup money!!!

Thankfully, I was forced to use the money elsewhere and simply dropped the whole idea. With that said...

.) We are the fastest growing company three years in a row

 

[Esquire]

Him: "When I was a kid ... I rarely got sick. Because I ate healthy food. The Akai Berry is a super healthy food."
Me: "Is that right ...? Just curious ... were you exposed to the sun when you were a kid too?"
Him: "Yes. Why ...?
Me: "Oh ... never mind."
Him: "So all you have to do is buy one case of Akai berry juice [For $200] ... and then you get 10 percent of every future sale. Easy money!"
Me: "How many people have signed up?"
Him: "Two."
Me: "I see. So ... after all is said and done, you bought a case of Akai Berry juice ... for $160.00 ...?"
Him: "Well ..."
Me: "And you want me to buy a $200.00 case from you ...?"
Him: "Yeah ..."
Me: :smxE:

 

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[socaldude]

"You are invited to a my business networking party!, come meet other like minded people!"

*Goes to business "party"*

Ends up being an MLM pitching nightmare and not an actual legit networking event / party. :cuss: issed: :bgh:

 

[Kak]

I SWEAR. It's not a pyramid scheme!

Lol I heard one like this from a friend about Amway. Hes like you are a business guy want to start another? Im like sure if I can make at least 100k in the next year. He said absolutely. Haha this guy is broke as shit. I asked what it was and he said "its this new thing called Amway" I said it is a joke to call that a business and that it is an MLM and he told me they changed it and it isnt MLM anymore. Dipshit.

 

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[Ajay2390]

This thread is fantastic! My Ex-Gf was swooped into Marykay, was in it for a bit and was making slow money...she dropped out because she just got pissed off with her "team leader" showing off in her (Leased) Merc and giving Ex-Gf too much grief and hassling her to sell more. She dropped out.

Had a friend who was hooked on Amway(his whole family too) he was making slowlane money, ALWAYS trying to make me go to his Amway meetings. To be frank, I knew to stay away from things like this. So he got my younger bother to attend this meeting and he walked out half way Haha. He said the people in there were like slaves worshipping this dude that ran the whole thing. So therefore he vowed not to be apart of that lol.

Oh and he also said they showed "THE SECRET" Video to everyone to, I guess, brainwash these people.

MLM + Law of Attraction = Fully Fledged DRONE!

I totally understand how a person can be sucked into the bullshit pitch due to maybe unforeseen circumstances. This is the harsh truth, most people out there are so blind(some very stupid), they will fall for anything and half way down the line, when they don't reap benefits they wouldn't even Think to observe the company but just pedal backwards.

But there is a Good point in MLM..

Once an MLM fellow approches you with his/her cheesy pitch, you get to scrutinize their beliefs and earnings then dig very deep into his psychological thinking and "mind F*ck" him/her until sees sense in what he has been pulled into whilst you just laugh loool

 

[Kyle Tully]

Jez: The first thing to say would be that this is not pyramid selling.
Mark: You're doing pyramid selling?!
Jez: No, no, not pyramid selling.
Mark: I can't believe you're into pyramid selling.
Jez: Listen, listen. It's not pyramid selling, it's... network... marketing and it's a guaranteed money making... Mark! I've seen the, the charts!
Mark: Oh the "charts". There are "charts". Why didn't you tell me about the "charts".
Jez: Are you... trying to... piss on my bonfire?
Mark: I'm trying to... protect you from... pissing all over yourself.
Jez: I'm not about to piss... all over myself. I'm... I'm pissing into the... bigtime.

Courtesy of Peep Show

 

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[GuestUser113]

"I've never sold a verve in my life and never will. Thats not what we do"
Interesting...so what exactly do you do?
"you shouldnt be so closed minded, this is like when google was starting"
this sounds more like Enron
"you have nothing to lose"
I do actually its called my time.
"were not a direct sales company?"
so how exactly does your company make money

next day she messages me again
"Heyy!! were having a huge meeting in Broward can I count you in???"
No, I have to go return some tapes

 

[Dwee]

Come on MJ... we've seen your youtube videos. You don't use any skin care products? Pffffftt.

On a more serious note this kind of stuff is infuriating. I recently had an old coworker reach out to me. "Hey Dwee, it's been awhile. Have you ever thought about trying a wrap?" No, I'm a late twenties male. Oh and did you just imply that I'm fat?

No I haven't tried a wrap, but you can F' right off and you're now blocked. Good riddance!

 

[Dami-B]

I'd like to share with you a "business opportunity"

Also

I don't mind doing a "one on one presentation"

 

[chaz]

This was waaaaay back when I was a young impressionable college student. I was at a local bookstore thumbing through the computer book section, which was basically one shelf at that time (circa 1993), when a guy in a shirt and tie approached me and said, "Excuse me, you look like a pretty smart guy. You ever think about going into business?" I said, "Yea, I've always wanted to get into business. In fact, I'd like to have my own business someday." He then said, "What a coincidence! My friends and I are looking for a business partner. Would you be interested?".. I said, "Of course, what kind of business?" He didn't answer. Instead, he asked, "Do you own a suit?" To which I replied, "Of course, I do." He said, "Great. My friends are having a meeting this Tuesday. You should go to it. There will be others like you that are interested in becoming part of the business." We exchanged numbers and he gave me the time and location of the meeting....... Fast forward a few days and about 45 minutes into the meeting, it was revealed I was in meeting for a well-known MLM company that is famous for selling soap.

Every so often, I think back at the pitch and admire how brilliant it was. It used flattery and the possibility of loss opportunity to get me to the meeting. Honestly, I actually learned from it, even though I never went back to another meeting.

 

[Goldman snacks]

I apply for marketing internship position on monster.

Professional looking website, boasts Fortune 500 clients.

We're innovating, working with Fortune 500 companies and growing fast so we're going to teach you accounting, PR, HR, Marketing, how to grow a business across twelve months.............proceeds to ask people on the street outside the office if they would donate to the Red Cross.

 

[lowtek]

 

[TreyAllDay]

This nice enough guy chatted me up in the Sauna at the gym late one night, he didn't tell me what he did, he said he "Helps people reach their goals, part time.". He took my card and then 2 days later called and asked me to meet him and his wife for a business opportunity, from 6-7 at a coffee shop. The "BUSINESS" was something he couldn't talk about.

Found out he was with AMWAY lol. It's insane how brainwashed those people are. What's weird, is other people at the gym have said this guy has talked to them.

Do they train these people to go public places and chat people up? I didn't even see him work out, and it was late late like midnight, he just came and talked to people and left.

 

[Sanj Modha]

Had I raved (lied) about MLM in TMF , I would have sold a hell of lot more books. But I have no regrets. Some express their opinion in authenticity, others tailor their opinion to what will make them the most money.

I think RD/PD is massively overrated. It's not even real - Kiyosaki didn't have 'two dads' like he claimed in the book and the co-author sued his a$$ too.

Rich Dad = Robert Kiyosaki. Poor Dad = any dad who bought the book.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Bumptydumptee...

 

[Sanj Modha]

Have you guys ever noticed that people in MLM's never say exactly what they are?

Like they will call it "entrepreneurship" or "sales" or "mentorship" and give you some cockamamey explanation about how it works, but they will NEVER call it multi-level marketing.

No I don't hate them, like I don't hate anyone. I just find them incredibly cringworthy and would rather they stay 100 feet away from me at all times.

Or "network marketing". That's a new one for me.

 

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[Rabelo]

"hey buddy ,do you have friends? if so....it means you have a potential of making residual income".............( wow you mean losing them?)

 

[SwissTuxedo]

What's your credit card number we about to get rich yo

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Here is my response to one of these people a few years ago... She just couldn't grasp this concept.

Curious, you still talk to this person?

 

[TheRegalMachine]

Not sure if this is a MLM line or just a shitty trend in joblistings but
I see the term "rockstar" tossed around for "sales" jobs with "unlimited earning potential".

 

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[garyjsmith]

"You're already buying these products; you might as well make money back on them."

"I'd like to introduce you to my 'mentor'"

One was able to get me to one of their hotel meetings. Once there, I asked a ton of questions, none of which were answered directly. Five minutes into 'the show,' I knew what it was (and was furious). I had never heard of Amway but I had no interest. They had sat me in the second row from the front and in the middle. I stayed and listened to the BS. When the presenter asked for amounts people were making per month, one woman in the front excitedly said, "$90!" I swear I had a mini FTM

 

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