Some retard trying to solve a problem (me)

[Shortypants]

Hello fellow fastlaners,

Do you love playing video games?
Oh really? Me too! How awesome!
Did you know that there is a potential goldmine in this saturated market?
Oh wow, sounds amazing! tell me more about it!

Alright so I was browsing Steam for games to play, when suddenly I noticed the patch notes of a game I've played regularly for quite some time.
The writing was TERRIBLE. Worse than mine, no joke.
So I looked up their website. Same shit.

So I figured I would help them. I contacted the game developers promising I could make more people press the "play now" button. But in reality I have no idea what I am doing.
I haven't gotten a response yet, but I will keep you up to date when I get new information.

In fact, I don't think this post even holds any value unless I get a positive response.

Please be easy on me, since I have litterally no idea what I am doing, but I'm just taking some action.


This is the mail I've sent:



You are losing customers right NOW, here's how...

I was just browsing the Steam app, when suddenly I noticed a news update from (Insert gaming company).
While I read the patch notes, my writing instinct kicked in, and I couldn't help but notice the mistakes that were made.

I thought to myself: "This is a professional game developer, surely they must've hired somebody with the skills to captivate the people who browse Steam?" (No offense)

This is when I moved to your website, where I was disappointed, once again.
The site was unable to give me a reason WHY I should click the big orange "Play Free NOW" button.

So I thought, this can be done much better, with few changes.


My name is ********,

I am a 20 year old college student from the Netherlands with great passion for copywriting.

I want to help YOU, by making more people press that Big Orange Button.

If you are interested, and want PROOF of my abilities, please send me a new update text, and I'll make it better.

• Faithfully,

• (Shortypant's name)

(/end mail)

I

 

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[wade1mil]

I really like the initiative. A couple points: The email is pretty insulting. I don't give a shit about being offensive people and other social justice BS, but I'm guessing it won't help you develop rapport to close the deal. Second, from my perspective, saying you're a 20 year old student after insulting my company, is a big F*ck YOU (unless I'm a 20 year old game developer painfully writing my own patch notes and am desperately looking for someone like you). Also, I'm guessing the large majority of people reading patch notes are people that are already playing the game (a lot). I can't see people reading patch notes to see if they want to play the game for the first time.

Overall though, I like the initiative more than I hate the email. That sort of balls is valuable in business and in life. Who knows, maybe you get a good response. Good luck!

 

[Shortypants]

I really like the initiative. A couple points: The email is pretty insulting. I don't give a shit about being offensive people and other social justice BS, but I'm guessing it won't help you develop rapport to close the deal. Second, from my perspective, saying you're a 20 year old student after insulting my company, is a big F*ck YOU (unless I'm a 20 year old game developer painfully writing my own patch notes and am desperately looking for someone like you).

Thank you so much for the response.

I absolutely agree with you. It was way too insulting.

Since this is my first real initiative, I want to test a bit.
Next time I will be extremely rapport seeking. I hope I will find a balance eventually and learn through trial and error.

Thanks once again!

 

[furiousJ]

Congrats on taking action

This post is as valuable as what you learn from it. Sometimes a negative response is more valuable then a positive one.

Just a few suggestions from another noob.

Ask them what they need, what's their biggest pain point. Ask them if they're happy with the amount of people who play their game,or volume of click through. Most always they will want more, unless there is an excellent conversion rate already, in that case they will probably want more volume from their ads.

Another route is to educate them instead of insulting them.

This is how you can get more people to play you're game! and guide them through your process.
or
How W.O.W. got 3 million(or wtv) people to play their game.in ___ months!., And how you can do it too!
or
This is how you're losing customers, right now!

-insert educational tips, relevant stats or fun facts
*example.... stats show 90% of people hate orange buttons, and refuse to click on them.(not true btw)

This is what I will do for you ! -insert value prop- Then Introduce yourself and make it very easy for him to contact you.

Take this for what it's worth. I'm also learning. Maybe some more experienced writers can chirp in.
cheers!

 

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[sparechange]

steam is worth $1.5 billion, i dont think they will be concerned with your thoughts on theyre product, although you have the right thinking, personally as a gamer myself i could not care any less about patch update notices.

also giving away an idea to improve a company, i cant see how they are obligated to compensate you financially.