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HOT! Some people who get rich get snobby? Anyone else experience this?

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robertwills

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I'm just curious as to why you felt the need to make this statement to all of us if this experience had nothing to do with ego or getting your feelings hurt. Why do you feel the need to talk about having lived "better" to us?

I get that it's surprising when people don't turn out to be who we think they are... even moreso when they are off-putting... but it is what it is. Take it as a lesson in who you don't want to be while remaining curious about your own reaction to the scenario. Because I think that's where you'll learn the most here.
The reason I asked was that I have never experienced anything quite like this before and was curious to see if anyone else experienced this.

I included that I "lived better" to show the irony and emphasize the fact that often in life there is a balancing to everyone's life. Just because someone doesn't have millions in the bank doesn't mean they can't live better than someone who does.
 
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Just because someone doesn't have millions in the bank doesn't mean they can't live better than someone who does.
Again, ask yourself why you feel the need to make this point. Why does anyone need to know but you? Why do you feel the need to make sure that a group of strangers on the internet knows that you've lived well? I'm guessing it's for the same reason that your friends needed to make sure that *you* knew that they were living well. The irony is that you don't seem to see it just yet.

And I'm not trying to bust balls here, I just know that some of my best growth in life has come after taking a very hard, real look at my life, my motivations, my ego & my emotions & questioning WHY.
 

biophase

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You even start lying to make it look not as good as it is. You don't post photos of vacations or when you drive nice cars.
You know you are over the "look at me" phase when you park a fancy car and someone else says "nice car!", and you say, "it's not mine, it's my friend's".

BTW, I have a Bugatti Veyron, but I never post photos of it or talk about it. So nobody knows.

Edit: Just kidding about that last part.
Edit 2: Or am I? ;-)
 

Antifragile

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You know you are over the "look at me" phase when you park a fancy car and someone else says "nice car!", and you say, "it's not mine, it's my friend's".

BTW, I have a Bugatti Veyron, but I never post photos of it or talk about it. So nobody knows.

Edit: Just kidding about that last part.
Edit 2: Or am I? ;-)
Pfff Veyron … that’s so 2014! Get on with the times, will ya?

the best is when you meet someone after a long while and share your cool car story and it’s all grand. Then he casually drops that he finally bought that jet plane he always wanted.

And then you plan a golfing trip, a short distance on a plane.

@Kak knows the story :rofl: cars? Hahaha… snobs.
 

biophase

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Pfff Veyron … that’s so 2014! Get on with the times, will ya?

the best is when you meet someone after a long while and share your cool car story and it’s all grand. Then he casually drops that he finally bought that jet plane he always wanted.

And then you plan a golfing trip, a short distance on a plane.

@Kak knows the story :rofl: cars? Hahaha… snobs.
Yeah I hate those f*ckin people that always one up me with their jets when I bring up my Bugatti. What a$$hole snobs.
 

door123

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You know you are over the "look at me" phase when you park a fancy car and someone else says "nice car!", and you say, "it's not mine, it's my friend's".

BTW, I have a Bugatti Veyron, but I never post photos of it or talk about it. So nobody knows.

Edit: Just kidding about that last part.
Edit 2: Or am I? ;-)
You could probably afford to finance a Veyron, Monthly Payments around $30k, Your take home pay would need to be $200K/month to easily afford the Veyron monthly payment.
 

WJK

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Having money is cool. Having an ego is great. Being confident is awesome.

These people are just insecure.

If they really think they're the shit, they wouldn't be openly comparing themselves to average people and saying dumb shit like 'oh, you can't afford this? haha". The better off you are, you'll actually keep your mouth shut because you know it sounds douchey. You even start lying to make it look not as good as it is. You don't post photos of vacations or when you drive nice cars. You tell people you were working when you didn't have to work in months.

They are acting like middle class douches who got some money, not thoroughbred entrepreneurs who are on a mission. I know a few people who are obsessed with comparing themselves with the people around them, and I feel bad for them. Life is so much better when you're just focused on yourself. Stay in your own lane, wish the best for people, be positive in the way that you speak about yourself and others, etc.
I've had it go the other way too. I've had people who have a lot less than me, put me down for being more successful. When they realize that I have outdistanced them, some get VERY defensive and angry. They think I'm just lucky or I cheated. They think that success just falls on a person -- like the random event of a log falling in the forest. I, by chance, was standing in the right spot and at the right time for this blessing to land on me.

To counter act in this kind of situation, I have learned to blend in and downplay things. Keeping quiet and being low-key makes it much easier for me to move around my little world. But, I can't always hide behind my facade.

In the past, I was SO blown away by other people's anger. I didn't really understand they were really saying that they are jealous. I couldn't hear their underlying reasons and understand their emotional reaction. I'd be defending myself by trying to tell them how hard I worked -- which they couldn't see nor believe. In fact, they didn't care about my struggles. All they could see was the fact that I had more wealth than them. And that reality triggered and offended their sense of fair play.

A friend pointed out to me that these angry people were simply jealous. I had never thought of that possibility. How could they ignore the process I followed? How could they be jealous of me when they had NOT done the work and put in the time? And then I realized that their ignorance is the point. By applying magical thinking, anyone can be successful -- if you stand in exactly the right spot -- in the magical woods -- at that special time -- when that success log is going to fall...
 

ElleMg

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They think I'm just lucky or I cheated. They think that success just falls on a person -- like the random event of a log falling in the forest. I, by chance, was standing in the right spot and at the right time for this blessing to land on me.

By applying magical thinking, anyone can be successful -- if you stand in exactly the right spot -- in the magical woods -- at that special time -- when that success log is going to fall...
That is the so poetic and beautiful, WJK! Preach.

As a child I believed when my mum told me money doesn't grow on trees. It wasn't until I questioned that belief's truthfulness and told myself the opposite, the seed of change necessary for my money trees was planted and I begun seeing results :bulb:
 

robertwills

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Again, ask yourself why you feel the need to make this point. Why does anyone need to know but you? Why do you feel the need to make sure that a group of strangers on the internet knows that you've lived well? I'm guessing it's for the same reason that your friends needed to make sure that *you* knew that they were living well. The irony is that you don't seem to see it just yet.

And I'm not trying to bust balls here, I just know that some of my best growth in life has come after taking a very hard, real look at my life, my motivations, my ego & my emotions & questioning WHY.
I hear what you're saying but as I said above: I included that I "lived better" to show the irony and emphasize the fact that there is a balancing to everyone's life. For example: The older rich man has money. The younger man has none. But the younger man has the more valuable asset of time and the potential to get rich.

This is a forum to share information and I was sharing this experience. So it if happens to someone else maybe they will know that they probably have have just as much, in whatever that is, good than anyone else.
 

robertwills

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You know you are over the "look at me" phase when you park a fancy car and someone else says "nice car!", and you say, "it's not mine, it's my friend's".

BTW, I have a Bugatti Veyron, but I never post photos of it or talk about it. So nobody knows.

Edit: Just kidding about that last part.
Edit 2: Or am I? ;-)
I owned a luxury car once (it was used but looked great). I would sometimes park in the town park because of the gorgeous view of the countryside. Most people that went walking by said a big "Hello!" to me. Years prior to this I was going to the park at lunch time, in an old delivery truck. Most people did not say anything. Some people literally turned up their noses at me. I was the same person; with just a different box of metal on wheels. Now I ride a bicycle everywhere and I don't care what anyone thinks in the US. In Denmark I'm like most people.
 

Private Witt

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I too have people from my past that I have left behind. I too try to be kind when I see them and then quickly put some distance between us.

That includes my best friend from high school. I used to feel like crying every time I saw her. She lives like a pig with her hoarding and she would pressure me to buy her things. Taking her out for a meal was a painful ordeal where she would become embarrassingly demanding and unreasonable. I just stopped calling or stopping by when I was working in her area -- which has made her very angry. Oh well. Our past friendship does NOT obligate me forever.

Good on you both trying to keep the relationship going but than realizing you must put boundaries up. I've lost best friends for way less damaging reasons and the behavior your friend is putting up is pretty toxic and only she can help herself, which sad to say she probably won't and to walk away to protect yourself is the best brave move you have made.

And yah past friendships mean no obligations, something I've been dealing with a lot lately as I was always the one trying to maintain relationships where the responsibility was always on me to connect. Im a nomad and move around a lot and seems like being the person away from my real hometown or adopted town means Im the one who seems like is expected keep the communication going based on when I come home and if I dont reach out to the zillion people I get wrecked with anger because I dont contact all friends when visit home (usually only ones that I keep up with).
 
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WJK

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Good on you both trying to keep the relationship going but than realizing you must put boundaries up. I've lost best friends for way less damaging reasons and the behavior your friend is putting up is pretty toxic and only she can help herself, which sad to say she probably won't and to walk away to protect yourself is the best brave move you have made.

And yah past friendships mean no obligations, something I've been dealing with a lot lately as I was always the one trying to maintain relationships where the responsibility was always on me to connect. Im a nomad and move around a lot and seems like being the person away from my real hometown or adopted town means Im the one who seems like is expected keep the communication going based on when I come home and if I dont reach out to the zillion people I get wrecked with anger because I dont contact all friends when visit home (usually only ones that I keep up with).
I totally understand. You must do what is best for you. You get to choose who you hang out with and who you let go.

Letting go of my old friend was tough. I had good memories of when we were young and hung out together. But, dropping our friendship is for the best. She's become a demanding taker. At first, I thought I could help her. Then, I was quickly tired of giving to her while she wasn't helping herself. I realized that I wasn't helping her -- with every handout, I was enabling her to be irresponsible. I wouldn't do that for my grown kids. Why would I take on an old friend?
 

Nigel B

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Maybe money only shows, who you are.
I believe both money and alcohol bring out the real person.

Some people are great with wealth, some are not. The best use it wisely for themselves and others, some forget the others.
 

p0stscript

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I met an old childhood friend recently I hadn't seen in years. I was really excited because they are (were) such a nice person, always helpful and just plain old good. Never even cursured in their life, type of person. I had known that they started in a small firm that grew and then went public making them a millionaire many times over. But I wasn't prepared to what person and their spouse are like now. They are just so snobby, totally different than what they were and how they grew up. They were saying things like "We stayed at the X hotel and paid $700 per night." I said "Wow" and they looked down at that comment like "Well, we can afford that. You can't?"

They were going on and on about all the custom stuff they had bought recently, including a beach house, and then brought up a business that I was once many years ago in that didn't go anywhere and they were kind of laughing like "You failed at that, and now look at you. Look at us". Then they blurt out "We are going to Australia the day it opens back up.". It was really off-putting to me and thankfully I don't and won't be around them again. Has anyone else seen this happen?
Reminds me of old UK comedy show
View: https://youtu.be/U8Kum8OUTuk
 

Voice Angel

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Those are tacky comments, but they speak more to the fact that these “riches” are new to them. So they’re kind of wrapped up in the hoo-ha and perhaps a bit insecure about it.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it – just let them go for now. And no, you don’t need to accept and absorb them and their attitudes “as part of the wealth path.” It’s quite possible that with time (and once they get used to money), those attitudes will settle down. Maybe.

I know millionaires who are snobby and stuck up (and complete douchebags).
And I also know millionaires who are kind, humble, compassionate and just very down to earth people.

…but this applies to anyone, moneyed or not.
 
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Mattie

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The reason I asked was that I have never experienced anything quite like this before and was curious to see if anyone else experienced this.

I included that I "lived better" to show the irony and emphasize the fact that often in life there is a balancing to everyone's life. Just because someone doesn't have millions in the bank doesn't mean they can't live better than someone who does.
There's snobby people in every social class. I believe that is just a personal choice. This usually means from my experience the last 50 years in different places where work, school, different types of relationship styles, we each hold a certain belief we create ourselves of people need to live up to our definition of what we see from our perspective.

This is no different then social groups on the macro or micro level around the world. We create as individuals what is acceptable behavior and expectations.

You might have two Millionaires that can't stand one another and don't feel the other one matches up to their set of social norms in one another. We see this all the time with different social groups online and offline. Even in the workplace you might have a Boss that is a snob and treats the other Bosses differently and there might be certain "Rewards" one gets more than the other.

Who is more valuable? Who shines more? "Competitive."

There is also the "Ego" involved. "I am better then you." "You are below me." "You are above me." You can see the superior and inferior complex.
 

robertwills

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There's snobby people in every social class. I believe that is just a personal choice. This usually means from my experience the last 50 years in different places where work, school, different types of relationship styles, we each hold a certain belief we create ourselves of people need to live up to our definition of what we see from our perspective.

This is no different then social groups on the macro or micro level around the world. We create as individuals what is acceptable behavior and expectations.

You might have two Millionaires that can't stand one another and don't feel the other one matches up to their set of social norms in one another. We see this all the time with different social groups online and offline. Even in the workplace you might have a Boss that is a snob and treats the other Bosses differently and there might be certain "Rewards" one gets more than the other.

Who is more valuable? Who shines more? "Competitive."

There is also the "Ego" involved. "I am better then you." "You are below me." "You are above me." You can see the superior and inferior complex.
Yes, it is very complex. Since I asked the question the way I feel is "I do not care". I'll be classless and do what I want and take any "flak" or enjoy the rewards of not being what is expected. I ride my bicycle everywhere in a fairly large US sprawling city where probably less than 1% does and almost everyone transports their or bodies by car. Almost none of those people have not been to Denmark where a large percentage of the population rides a bicycle. The reality is different to. The majority in the US is very overweight and obese. In Denmark it's more of the opposite. People in their 80's even ride a bicycle!
 

Kevin88660

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I met an old childhood friend recently I hadn't seen in years. I was really excited because they are (were) such a nice person, always helpful and just plain old good. Never even cursured in their life, type of person. I had known that they started in a small firm that grew and then went public making them a millionaire many times over. But I wasn't prepared to what person and their spouse are like now. They are just so snobby, totally different than what they were and how they grew up. They were saying things like "We stayed at the X hotel and paid $700 per night." I said "Wow" and they looked down at that comment like "Well, we can afford that. You can't?"

They were going on and on about all the custom stuff they had bought recently, including a beach house, and then brought up a business that I was once many years ago in that didn't go anywhere and they were kind of laughing like "You failed at that, and now look at you. Look at us". Then they blurt out "We are going to Australia the day it opens back up.". It was really off-putting to me and thankfully I don't and won't be around them again. Has anyone else seen this happen?
Kind of funny that living in a room that cost 700 per day requires much less wealth than having a significant holding of a publicly traded company.

It is hardly a flex given how rich they actually are.
 

MattR82

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I remember one of my best friends in grade school, 9 to 12 years old, being from a wealthy family and being super snobby as my family was dirt poor. When I remembered back as an adult I realised that his parents would get in on it as well, in a big way. Was pretty shocking to remember some of the things they would say.

He became a really successful person in the fashion industry that I met again in our late 20's early 30's but was one of the nicest, most helpful guys ever.

Gotta let it go.
 

Mattie

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The reason I asked was that I have never experienced anything quite like this before and was curious to see if anyone else experienced this.

I included that I "lived better" to show the irony and emphasize the fact that often in life there is a balancing to everyone's life. Just because someone doesn't have millions in the bank doesn't mean they can't live better than someone who does.
I see this with the U.S. and Netherlands. They operate two different ways. They both can have negative and positive qualities depending on where you stand in the two cultures.

You have Environment, Wildlife, Sustainability, Recycling, Politics, Medical/Mental Health, Educational Systems, Religion/Spiritual, Family Dynamics, Sexuality/Sensuality, Social Problems/Social Issues, Police/Military, Government Branches/System.

I could tell in 2020 the way the Netherlands, Germany, U.K., and U.S. all handled the riots and protests differently besides other countries over on this side of the world.

In all these areas just with cultures themselves they can have the same issue of who is more powerful, who is more wealthy, who is superior and inferior in the society and culture, and why they believe is more valuable and who is not dependent on what they condition society to believe in all those areas.

Then you have the social classes.

On the micro-level neighborhoods, communities, counties, states, in the U.S. Borders in Europe and the providence or region of countries.

Dialects and languages. Which is more valuable.

We can do this with just about anything in our experience and society.

We have rivalry between sports teams, companies, organizations, agencies, non-profits, corporations, and educational systems.

We have this even between personality types.

We value titles, labels, niches, categories, certificates, degrees, and the more you show your authority at face value, your more valuable in mainstream in the U.S. I think as the individualism stands out more then the collectivism of our culture.

Depends more on the culture and country we are talking about and what they choose as acceptable in their society for social norms.

For example: You can have many families who reside together in the same household with many generations. Perhaps they own a piece of land and may have more than one building, share resources, and have a family business. They may work together as a team for the same goal. Maybe we could use the Amish for an example. The community works together for the common good of all in the community. Where if we're about individualism, we may only have our immediate family, wife, husband and children. A single man or woman in a house hold. We might have a two person household. (Room mates in college. Romantic/Sexual Relationship).

This then leads to the roots of one's family and the cultures they come from and how that is passed on to future generations in both positive and negative ways.

If you have one that is collectivism and one that is individualism, or self-service vs. service to others, this creates the conflict and complexity.

What is the more valuable situation? What ways is better or right? Often, both can be right or wrong at the same time. Both can have positive and negative qualities. We just get stuck in all these complexities, paradoxes, and contradictions we create as individuals and social groups and really in the end no one is more "Special" then the other if you bring "Covid" for example into the picture as 2020.

Covid doesn't care who you are or who you think you are. We're all equal in the situation.

Vaccines is a cultural choice to help the collectivism and not the individualism.

In Mackinac Island, Michigan, you are not supposed to drive a car. Most people walk, ride a bike, or ride on a horse or carriage ride. This would be a choice of a society that decides to get rid of all other forms of transportation and all agree it may be healthier for the whole of the community. This will not be something everyone will agree, because they love their fast cars, the shorter time frame of getting to one location to another, and prefer to be individualistic within the collective to get to their destination around the world. Planes, trains, ships, and automobiles do a lot of damage with pollution but we will put ourselves first before thinking of the impact we have on the environment.

Environmental scientists already can tell you we do a lot of damage around the world since Baby Boomers were born. It just became magnified with the last three generations.



Yes, it is very complex. Since I asked the question the way I feel is "I do not care". I'll be classless and do what I want and take any "flak" or enjoy the rewards of not being what is expected. I ride my bicycle everywhere in a fairly large US sprawling city where probably less than 1% does and almost everyone transports their or bodies by car. Almost none of those people have not been to Denmark where a large percentage of the population rides a bicycle. The reality is different to. The majority in the US is very overweight and obese. In Denmark it's more of the opposite. People in their 80's even ride a bicycle!
 
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I don't remember where I heard this, it may even be from one of MJ's books, but "money doesn't change people, it just makes them more of who they already are."
 

WJK

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I don't remember where I heard this, it may even be from one of MJ's books, but "money doesn't change people, it just makes them more of who they already are."
Yes, it is true. Money acts as a magnifying glass for who you are...
 

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