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Some people who get rich get snobby? Anyone else experience this?

Kak

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Some people are clowns. Some people aren’t. Money doesn’t have much to do with it.

I get a lot more of that “OMG we paid (enter some supposedly impressive sum) for (something also supposedly impressive)” from high income job types than I hear from actual business people.

For the most part, I get along very well with wealthy people… I wouldn’t get along with someone like that.

I know people like this. They want to be the big fish in the small pond and when they find out that you’re swimming in a bigger pond they’ll bend over backwards to impress you… All it does is make them look like d bags.

I can tell you about someone I know that talks about all the stuff he buys. He doesn’t have an “RV” no… It’s a “motor coach” which is “better.” LOL.

He also once made it a point to talk loudly on the phone about “cutting someone a $5000 check.” Get out of here! “You mean you have five whole thousand dollars in your checking account! Wow!”

I wouldn’t be surprised if the people you are referring to are broke or will be soon. All the bragging in the world doesn’t make them richer than their reality. If they are impressed by the 700 dollar hotel room, just laugh as there is likely someone that flew over their stupid hotel in a private jet and they’ll set fire to $40k on a round trip and not give it another thought or brag.

As a rule, I don’t normally talk about money… I talk about business and dealings. The cause, not the effect. Most polite business people are the same.
 
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biophase

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Actually it was so surprising that I just wanted to know if this is something that is something else others have experienced. I know other rich people, one guy is a billionaire, and they don't act that way at all.

I think this is sometimes a perception issue. It really depends on how you take it and also their tone or attitude when they say it.

Recently, I was in Vegas and met up with some old friends that I haven't seen in 10+ years. They ask the general questions, so what's going on, how have you been. I mention that I'm moving to Vegas, blah blah, and eventually the topic of what part I'm living in comes up and I mention that I'm waiting for the house to be built. One person asks how much the house is, he says is it like $300-$500k.

So how am I supposed to answer this? I mean he did ask right? Saying yes it's around there is fine but lying. Saying it's $1.X m may come off as bragging. I decided to straight up answer it because after all, he did ask. I often wonder if I came off as bragging or condescending.

Then someone else says, what kind of car are you driving now. Do you still have the NSX? Again, how do I answer this? I didn't mention any of my past cars this time. I just said I'm done with fancy cars and left it at that.

We had a great group dinner and the bill was $800ish. I wanted to pay for the whole dinner, but I did not because I was wondering if that would come off wrong.

If I was with a different group, all that conversation would have been fine. There wouldn't have been a second thought to talk about houses, business stuff and fancy cars.

So to answer your question. I think that people with a ton of money speak about generally things they buy and what they do without even thinking about the relative price. To them, it's just the common price.

I'll give you another example, when climbing Kilimanjaro in Africa where guides and porters make between $1-$8 a day, I found myself not talking about things that cost $25-$50 in the same way around them. For example, I could have said something like, that shitty hotel cost $50 per night. Which could have come off exactly the same way your friend talked about a $700/night hotel to them.
 
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Private Witt

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People who make like 200 to 500k a year like a single Seattle programmer or as a couple combined act like this and are over extended and in deep shit with finances trying to be big wigs. The dude with the dusty old pickup whose has lived at the same place for 30 years with solid routines and no flash is sitting on millions and is humble as hell. Is the guy yah wanna hang with and learn from.
 
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Johnny boy

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Having money is cool. Having an ego is great. Being confident is awesome.

These people are just insecure.

If they really think they're the shit, they wouldn't be openly comparing themselves to average people and saying dumb shit like 'oh, you can't afford this? haha". The better off you are, you'll actually keep your mouth shut because you know it sounds douchey. You even start lying to make it look not as good as it is. You don't post photos of vacations or when you drive nice cars. You tell people you were working when you didn't have to work in months.

They are acting like middle class douches who got some money, not thoroughbred entrepreneurs who are on a mission. I know a few people who are obsessed with comparing themselves with the people around them, and I feel bad for them. Life is so much better when you're just focused on yourself. Stay in your own lane, wish the best for people, be positive in the way that you speak about yourself and others, etc.
 

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Just because someone doesn't have millions in the bank doesn't mean they can't live better than someone who does.
Again, ask yourself why you feel the need to make this point. Why does anyone need to know but you? Why do you feel the need to make sure that a group of strangers on the internet knows that you've lived well? I'm guessing it's for the same reason that your friends needed to make sure that *you* knew that they were living well. The irony is that you don't seem to see it just yet.

And I'm not trying to bust balls here, I just know that some of my best growth in life has come after taking a very hard, real look at my life, my motivations, my ego & my emotions & questioning WHY.
 

biophase

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You even start lying to make it look not as good as it is. You don't post photos of vacations or when you drive nice cars.
You know you are over the "look at me" phase when you park a fancy car and someone else says "nice car!", and you say, "it's not mine, it's my friend's".

BTW, I have a Bugatti Veyron, but I never post photos of it or talk about it. So nobody knows.

Edit: Just kidding about that last part.
Edit 2: Or am I? ;-)
 

Antifragile

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Some people are snobby and they aren’t even rich.

moving on…
 

biophase

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Pfff Veyron … that’s so 2014! Get on with the times, will ya?

the best is when you meet someone after a long while and share your cool car story and it’s all grand. Then he casually drops that he finally bought that jet plane he always wanted.

And then you plan a golfing trip, a short distance on a plane.

@Kak knows the story :rofl: cars? Hahaha… snobs.
Yeah I hate those f*ckin people that always one up me with their jets when I bring up my Bugatti. What a$$hole snobs.
 

Antifragile

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I can relate. A snobby friend came by our house for dinner. Haven’t seen him in years, reconnecting. He’s bragging about his new job. Oh the perks, he gets to go on walks, good for health - anytime. On the job training, vacations, you name it. And they pay for his clothes. He was going on and on about getting a company car. Crazy snobby. I get it @robertwills Just wouldn’t stop.

I finally had to say something. His company car being parked outside. I said I didn’t like the colour. Not the car, but the Mall Security decals weren’t bright enough.

:troll:



:rofl:
 

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what I've heard is that people who have achieved great success and riches, later in life, are a lot more humble than you'd expect them to be.

Maybe you just misinterpreted it and your ego felt a blow. The affluent tend to speak about high value items and luxury experience like the average discuss low value items.
 

Ing

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Not all are the same.
I had a friend, who is total snobby now. No more a friend now.
And I have a friend-my best friend in my youth-, whom I met again after 10 years. It was like in former times. After a year or so I recogniced, that he must be some 10 millions . But with no word ever he let that appear.

Maybe money only shows, who you are.
 

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Money is neither good nor bad...

People say money changes you...

People say money is the root of all evil...

Money doesn't change you...

It simply amplifies who you already are.
 

Itizn

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It's not the same. I don't feel less about myself because others may have more. Some people do for sure. Maybe you do. I just couldn't believe they were behaving that way. It's one thing to tell people about things they have or bought recently but to intentionally try to make the listener feel jealous or bad in some way is in my opinion a form of phycological abuse. Those people wasted their valuable time on me. Maybe they got satisfaction in some sick way.

I will say though I have had a lot of good fortune and experiences in my life, I should say incredible experiences, so maybe that's why I don't feel bad. I might if I never experienced a lot of those things.
you made this thread because someone hurt your feelings.

admit it and move on.
 
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WJK

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My former best friend from high school would say I am a snob now ... and (candidly) he would be correct. I don't want to assocaite with people who are going nowhere in life.

Successful people want to be around other successful people.

Nothing new under the sun there.

That's not to say I'm mean about it. I try to handle these things gracefully. But if they dont get the hint, I will get to the point.

If we wouldn't be friends today if I met you on the street, Im not going to be friends because I knew you when you were a kid.

Say hello. Make a little small talk. Share a few memories. Catch up again in another 5 to 10 years.
I too have people from my past that I have left behind. I too try to be kind when I see them and then quickly put some distance between us.

That includes my best friend from high school. I used to feel like crying every time I saw her. She lives like a pig with her hoarding and she would pressure me to buy her things. Taking her out for a meal was a painful ordeal where she would become embarrassingly demanding and unreasonable. I just stopped calling or stopping by when I was working in her area -- which has made her very angry. Oh well. Our past friendship does NOT obligate me forever.
 
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Antifragile

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You know you are over the "look at me" phase when you park a fancy car and someone else says "nice car!", and you say, "it's not mine, it's my friend's".

BTW, I have a Bugatti Veyron, but I never post photos of it or talk about it. So nobody knows.

Edit: Just kidding about that last part.
Edit 2: Or am I? ;-)
Pfff Veyron … that’s so 2014! Get on with the times, will ya?

the best is when you meet someone after a long while and share your cool car story and it’s all grand. Then he casually drops that he finally bought that jet plane he always wanted.

And then you plan a golfing trip, a short distance on a plane.

@Kak knows the story :rofl: cars? Hahaha… snobs.
 
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WJK

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Having money is cool. Having an ego is great. Being confident is awesome.

These people are just insecure.

If they really think they're the shit, they wouldn't be openly comparing themselves to average people and saying dumb shit like 'oh, you can't afford this? haha". The better off you are, you'll actually keep your mouth shut because you know it sounds douchey. You even start lying to make it look not as good as it is. You don't post photos of vacations or when you drive nice cars. You tell people you were working when you didn't have to work in months.

They are acting like middle class douches who got some money, not thoroughbred entrepreneurs who are on a mission. I know a few people who are obsessed with comparing themselves with the people around them, and I feel bad for them. Life is so much better when you're just focused on yourself. Stay in your own lane, wish the best for people, be positive in the way that you speak about yourself and others, etc.
I've had it go the other way too. I've had people who have a lot less than me, put me down for being more successful. When they realize that I have outdistanced them, some get VERY defensive and angry. They think I'm just lucky or I cheated. They think that success just falls on a person -- like the random event of a log falling in the forest. I, by chance, was standing in the right spot and at the right time for this blessing to land on me.

To counter act in this kind of situation, I have learned to blend in and downplay things. Keeping quiet and being low-key makes it much easier for me to move around my little world. But, I can't always hide behind my facade.

In the past, I was SO blown away by other people's anger. I didn't really understand they were really saying that they are jealous. I couldn't hear their underlying reasons and understand their emotional reaction. I'd be defending myself by trying to tell them how hard I worked -- which they couldn't see nor believe. In fact, they didn't care about my struggles. All they could see was the fact that I had more wealth than them. And that reality triggered and offended their sense of fair play.

A friend pointed out to me that these angry people were simply jealous. I had never thought of that possibility. How could they ignore the process I followed? How could they be jealous of me when they had NOT done the work and put in the time? And then I realized that their ignorance is the point. By applying magical thinking, anyone can be successful -- if you stand in exactly the right spot -- in the magical woods -- at that special time -- when that success log is going to fall...
 
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tolmanmedia

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Wealth is the ultimate test of character. When people get (nearly) unlimited means they become either a giver or a taker to those around them. More entitled or more giving.
 
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Odysseus M Jones

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It's about fitting in with whoever they're socialising or working with.

They've become who they want to identify with.

To be part of that circle they have to dress, act, think, own, speak, do, as the others, otherwise they won't gain acceptance.

If the inner circle were Greenpeace tree huggers, that's what they'd become.

It just so happens the inner circle are shallow assholes.

It's human nature to want to belong.
 

Jon L

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The really rich (and grounded) people I know talk about experiences and value, not dollar figures.

"Hey Jon, how was your weekend?"
"Great, I took my kids to the park and to this air and space museum"
"That sounds fantastic. Stuff like that is what life is all about."
"How about you?"
"We just got in from ____ so we were exhausted. It was a great trip, but it was so nice to be back home doing normal things for the weekend. We went to dinner, swam a bit. My wife went to her book club, and I just watched a bunch of movies. It was great."

...

I know that the dinner he went to probably cost $600, the book club was at a fancy downtown place, and the swim was in his huge pool, but none of that was the point. The point was two people interacting and talking about life for a couple minutes before getting into business.

...

Those that aren't grounded, brag to cover over things that are missing in their lives.


...

What's funny, too, is that these same grounded people will make sure they spend their money wisely, even for small amounts. "Hey - wanna carpool to the airport? I don't want to spend the money on a taxi just by myself." Again, value, not dollar amounts.
 
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Esquire

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It has nothing to do with people who are going nowhere in life. It has to do with people who have, or give the impression they have, a lot of money and try to put down others who have less.

I have no problem with people flaunting their wealth or success ... it's a form of social currency as old as time ... but I agree that there is no need to be a mean spirited dick about it.
 

Red

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What they didn't know, and will never know, was that I have lived better for many years than being in any luxury resort anywhere.
I'm just curious as to why you felt the need to make this statement to all of us if this experience had nothing to do with ego or getting your feelings hurt. Why do you feel the need to talk about having lived "better" to us?

I get that it's surprising when people don't turn out to be who we think they are... even moreso when they are off-putting... but it is what it is. Take it as a lesson in who you don't want to be while remaining curious about your own reaction to the scenario. Because I think that's where you'll learn the most here.
 

Voice Angel

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Those are tacky comments, but they speak more to the fact that these “riches” are new to them. So they’re kind of wrapped up in the hoo-ha and perhaps a bit insecure about it.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it – just let them go for now. And no, you don’t need to accept and absorb them and their attitudes “as part of the wealth path.” It’s quite possible that with time (and once they get used to money), those attitudes will settle down. Maybe.

I know millionaires who are snobby and stuck up (and complete douchebags).
And I also know millionaires who are kind, humble, compassionate and just very down to earth people.

…but this applies to anyone, moneyed or not.
 
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JustinBoshans

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I don't remember where I heard this, it may even be from one of MJ's books, but "money doesn't change people, it just makes them more of who they already are."
 
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WJK

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I met an old childhood friend recently I hadn't seen in years. I was really excited because they are (were) such a nice person, always helpful and just plain old good. Never even cursured in their life, type of person. I had known that they started in a small firm that grew and then went public making them a millionaire many times over. But I wasn't prepared to what person and their spouse are like now. They are just so snobby, totally different than what they were and how they grew up. They were saying things like "We stayed at the X hotel and paid $700 per night." I said "Wow" and they looked down at that comment like "Well, we can afford that. You can't?"

They were going on and on about all the custom stuff they had bought recently, including a beach house, and then brought up a business that I was once many years ago in that didn't go anywhere and they were kind of laughing like "You failed at that, and now look at you. Look at us". Then they blurt out "We are going to Australia the day it opens back up.". It was really off-putting to me and thankfully I don't and won't be around them again. Has anyone else seen this happen?
Your old friends aren't handling this financial change in their lives very gracefully. First, it almost sounds like they were afraid of you. Did you know that they were secretly competing with you?

By trying to one-up you, they are showing their soft underbelly. All this bragging is advertising their weaknesses -- starting with money management. They sound like someone who has won the lottery and is blowing the whole wad. They have no idea how to take care of the money that they have received. Most people must make their fortunes 3 times before they learn how to grow their nest egg.

Rather than being insulted, you might take a deep breath, and realize this whole conversation is a back-handed compliment. They were trying to impress you with their success. And you might even learn from their folly.
 

AFMKelvin

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This isn't new. There are countless books and movies talking about this phenomena of new money. The Great Gatsby is the first thing I think about. I don't know what psychological aspects are at play, but it seems it happens quite often for it to be a recurring theme. I would just let it slide and give them a second chance.
 

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My former best friend from high school would say I am a snob now ... and (candidly) he would be correct. I don't want to assocaite with people who are going nowhere in life.

Successful people want to be around other successful people.

Nothing new under the sun there.

That's not to say I'm mean about it. I try to handle these things gracefully. But if they dont get the hint, I will get to the point.

If we wouldn't be friends today if I met you on the street, Im not going to be friends because I knew you when you were a kid.

Say hello. Make a little small talk. Share a few memories. Catch up again in another 5 to 10 years.
 
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ElleMg

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They think I'm just lucky or I cheated. They think that success just falls on a person -- like the random event of a log falling in the forest. I, by chance, was standing in the right spot and at the right time for this blessing to land on me.

By applying magical thinking, anyone can be successful -- if you stand in exactly the right spot -- in the magical woods -- at that special time -- when that success log is going to fall...
That is the so poetic and beautiful, WJK! Preach.

As a child I believed when my mum told me money doesn't grow on trees. It wasn't until I questioned that belief's truthfulness and told myself the opposite, the seed of change necessary for my money trees was planted and I begun seeing results :bulb:
 
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Deleted85763

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You know you are over the "look at me" phase when you park a fancy car and someone else says "nice car!", and you say, "it's not mine, it's my friend's".

BTW, I have a Bugatti Veyron, but I never post photos of it or talk about it. So nobody knows.

Edit: Just kidding about that last part.
Edit 2: Or am I? ;-)
I owned a luxury car once (it was used but looked great). I would sometimes park in the town park because of the gorgeous view of the countryside. Most people that went walking by said a big "Hello!" to me. Years prior to this I was going to the park at lunch time, in an old delivery truck. Most people did not say anything. Some people literally turned up their noses at me. I was the same person; with just a different box of metal on wheels. Now I ride a bicycle everywhere and I don't care what anyone thinks in the US. In Denmark I'm like most people.
 
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