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So you want a mentor?

Anything related to matters of the mind

Envision

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Hello fellow fastlaners,

I have some time today and this has been a topic on my mind for quite some time now. There is no real guide or book that you can read that will provide you with the knowledge and intuition you need to find mentors and surround yourself with them. There is only experience and lessons that can be passed down and utilized in the real world.

In this thread I would like to provide you with some of my knowledge that I have gained. To surround myself with millionaires and multi-millionaires as well as key influential people who are where I want to be.. with age not being a factor..

1. Mindset Shift
When it comes down to it, most newbies to the fastlane, business, and entrepreneurship come here with an "I WANT" attitude, they want MJ to mentor them, they want to get on a call with some and have them give them the secret recipe to success.

Many people subconsciously approach others with the same mindset and although you may not blatantly say it, your body language, demeanor, and tone scream it.

Approach everyone regardless of who they are with a problem solving mindset.
Ask yourself, "How can I help this person"
There is no use in going out into the world and seeking out mentors without having this mindset drilled into your soul. I think I've read so much on this forum that I was conditioned to always be looking for ways to help other people. Its a gradual shift because the way society conditions us as we grow up many of us come from a place of scarcity. This can literally condition your brain into always asking whats in it for me? When it comes to finding mentors you do not want to come from that mentality because:

1. Any mentor worthwhile will notice you show signs of being a leech.
2. You would be a waste of time because there would be no long term benefit to assisting you.

Mindset Challenge:
If you understand your mindset and are self aware enough to notice that you come from a place of need. Every morning upon waking up and go through your morning routine choose to help 1 person throughout the course of the day. It doesn't matter with what, it doesn't matter if you get paid, it doesn't matter if you cant find someone, call family, call friends, call organizations and ask if there is something you can help with.

2. Get Clear
Do you really need a mentor?


You might want a mentor but you are nowhere near being ready for one. You need to spend time learning skills, understanding how to provide value, learning, spending time failing on ideas and understanding why they failed. You need to get out and do some work and try.

What are you wanting to accelerate your learning in?

If you do not know what you want but you know you want money, you're not ready.

Are you chasing money or relationships?

Get clear on what you are doing before blindly chasing successful people and burning bridges with foolish intentions.


3. Successful people hangout with successful people
Where could you possibly find someone to mentor you?

Hmmm.

What about where all wealthy people hangout?

Make a list if you are not clear on what your interests are.

Im gonna speak from my experience:

Im interested in:
-Real Estate Investing
-Online Business
-Amazon
-Fitness
-Entreprenuership

So I found a local real estate meet up group in my area. This was easy and I started showing up to the weekly meetings. Keep in mind, I knew literally nothing about real estate, I just knew that these people did and that real estate grows wealth.

Within 3 months of going to these meetings I had put an offer in on my first property, had all of the resources I would need to execute my first investment (documents, inspectors, handymen, painters, real estate agents, and investors) and I had also built relationships with a multimillionaire investor whom was also my broker through the process.

My mentor not only pushed me to move fast, continue doing what I was doing, and invest at a young age but he also helped me find the deal. When you show your work ethic to those that are ahead of you they want to help you.

Now, that’s a sweet story but lets break it down:
  • Identify where people who you want to be are.
  • Show up, if its free great. If its paid, pay.
  • Show up everytime there is a meeting, you never know who will show up (more on this later)
  • Follow up with asking people out to lunch, have questions prepared for people
  • Ask whoever you are taking out what they are working on and when you see their passion for it, follow up on it.
  • Finally, towards the end, ask if there is anything you can do for them, if you know there is something you can do for them – tell them and do it. And mention that you would love to meet up in the future… relationships are like kids, you have to feed it or it dies.
Above is a sequence and an outline.

Remember it,

Figure out what meet ups are going on in your area, pick up the phone and call some big name investors and ask them out to lunch, show up early and give your card to the waitress and tell them you would like to pay for the table... this prevents them from even thinking about paying and they are impressed you took the initiative.

Expanding your Circle Challenge
1. Make a list of places successful people hangout
2. Show up
3. Provide VALUE
4. Follow up​
 
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Envision

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4. Establishing A Relationship

This is literally like any other relationship you have had in your entire life. You don't ask someone you just met to marry you, feed you, or give you 100,000 dollars.

You need to prove yourself and provide value especially if that person has 100 other people who would be more than happy to take your spot.

First Interaction

This should be the first time you meet outside of where you initially made contact.

A couple golden rules I like to keep in the back of my mind.

  1. Always be listening for what the person is having a hard time with/struggling with
  2. Show that you are taking action (an example of something you are doing but struggling with)
  3. Show that you want to learn, are willing to listen, and are ambitious to do MORE.
That last once is where most people fail, they try to tell the person they took out to lunch what they think when their opinion doesn't matter. Become aware of when you need to shut up and listen.

FOLLOW UP​

If this interaction goes bad.. its not what you expect, you got sucked into an MLM (lol), the person was negative etc still follow up, thank them for their time and mention a piece of the conversation that they said in a positive light.

Everyone knows everyone, you don't want to burn contacts just because something wasn't what you expected.


If the interaction went well - follow up. Here's where listening comes into play, throughout a 1-4 hour conversation people will bring up problems, stories, current endeavors, even family. When you follow up utilize some information that stuck out during the conversation in your follow up and ADD VALUE to the email.

For instance, another one of my mentors was showing me his start up that he is creating. It reminded me of ONNIT so I showed him their website and he was blown away because although he's in a different niche he had a framework to look at.

Remember the little things and add value by expanding on them.

More to come.
 
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Envision

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Reserved x2*
 

hellolin

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Thanks for writing all this up man, going to read it up later on and leave my impression here!
 
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Mattie

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I mentor people for the simple reason to better humanity and because I have compassion for other people, versus getting something in return. I suppose there are mentors that have a different point of view. Just don't lump us all up in one definition.
 
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David Chau

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I mentor people for the simple reason to better humanity and because I have compassion for other people, versus getting something in return. I suppose there are mentors that have a different point of view. Just don't lump us all up in one definition.

This is a response I like to hear!

I've once have tried to look for a mentor a few years ago, but nobody wanted to mentor me simply because I wasn't anywhere close to their level and I was looked down upon. A few years later(AKA NOW) I'm driving my dream car ferrari (I'm 21 btw) I answer and help everybody that has sent me a DM and basically try to spend as much time helping other people because I was once in a position where nobody wanted to help me at all. It's good to see that there are still good people in this world.
 

Envision

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This is a response I like to hear!

I've once have tried to look for a mentor a few years ago, but nobody wanted to mentor me simply because I wasn't anywhere close to their level and I was looked down upon. A few years later(AKA NOW) I'm driving my dream car ferrari (I'm 21 btw) I answer and help everybody that has sent me a DM and basically try to spend as much time helping other people because I was once in a position where nobody wanted to help me at all. It's good to see that there are still good people in this world.


I agree, I'm not saying that there arent good people out there in the world that will help you because there are all over the place. But often times people dont have the knowledge to be a good mentee
 
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Mattie

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I've once have tried to look for a mentor a few years ago, but nobody wanted to mentor me simply because I wasn't anywhere close to their level and I was looked down upon. A few years later(AKA NOW) I'm driving my dream car ferrari (I'm 21 btw) I answer and help everybody that has sent me a DM and basically try to spend as much time helping other people because I was once in a position where nobody wanted to help me at all. It's good to see that there are still good people in this world.
I totally agree. The mentors in my life didn't charge me a dime, nor expect anything in return. And the one thing all of them said, was pay it forward. I've been paying it forward all along whether I get paid for it or not. I use my discernment. I suppose I always remember where I came from, where I've been, and who helped me. You don't get anywhere in life without someone giving a helping hand in some way or another. If everyone had that attitude, I wouldn't be here now.
 

Sauce

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@Envision great post! I used to approach conversations with mentors, investors, or business associates with a "whats in it for me" attitude. However, I have recently started shifting in to a what can I do for you attitude instead and it has boosted my business tremendously.

I am in Real Estate as well. We fix and flip and buy and hold. I met a local guy who "used to be" an investor. He had some questions regarding foreclosures and redemption rights. I met up with the guy for coffee, answered all of his questions, and after I provided him some form documents that I use on my foreclosure and redemption transactions. In other words I provided him value.

We met again for coffee and I mentioned that I had a deal that I was considering wholesaling because I didn't have the access to funding at the time (2 flips closing this month!). He told me that he would fund the deal, at 8%, with no points, and no origination. The hard money guys in town are getting 12-16 percent plus 2-6 points.

The guy is a great source of knowledge and funding, and all I did was follow your advice. The hardest part of your whole program is the mindset piece. Most people come from a scarcity mindset and until they start moving towards the abundance mindset, they will have a hard time finding a mentor.
 

MJ DeMarco

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ZF Lee

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In two words, GIVE VALUE.

It would actually be quite shameful to tell your kids (if you make it) that you hit it big because of Mr. xxxxx or Ms. xxxxxx, no personal legacy to create on your own or pass down. However, the elements of success can be obtained through the insights of successful Fastlaners, to be combined to make something new.
 

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