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O/T: Health Seeking Mentorship For Self-Discipline & Accountability

Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by SpartanWarrior77, Mar 16, 2017.

  1. SpartanWarrior77
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    SpartanWarrior77 Contributor

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    Hey, Im a 21-year-old in Pennsylvania.

    Im extremely self-motivated but am having issues with consistency.

    I challenge myself often with martial arts, meditation, entrepreneurship, reading, etc...

    I even jump into the snow a few times a week to train cold-exposure. I would have loved to be a navy seal if I trusted our government.

    For some reason, I CANNOT find any mentors. I've been trying for a long time. I've contacted over 50+ people in various field to request mentorship.

    I need someone in my life to show me what it means to be consistent in something. My emotions and other factors keep me from being where I'd like to be in terms of consistency and discipline.

    Is anyone on here an older man who is very consistent in their discipline when it comes to health and business? (relationships and personal growth is a plus).

    I will be the best mentee you've ever had....
     
  2. lewj24
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    lewj24 Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Oxymoron?
     
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  3. SpartanWarrior77
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    SpartanWarrior77 Contributor

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    Yeah, i realized that while I was typing it but the point is im almost always motivated but having trouble with consistency...
     
  4. daru
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    daru Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    About finding mentors, try reading Mastery by Robert Greene for ideas how to do that.

    May be that you want something (mentorship) without providing anything in return (whats the value for the mentor)? What problem, need or want can you solve/provide for him?
     
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  5. SpartanWarrior77
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    SpartanWarrior77 Contributor

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    I have read that book several times. I have offered mentors help but the truth is Im not very valuable. I do not have many /tangible hardskills.
     
  6. daru
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    daru Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Oh, ok. I guess one could always start at the bottom like taking out the trash and cleaning etc.
    But seems like you know this game way better than me. Sorry I took for granted you had not read that book.
     
  7. lewj24
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    lewj24 Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Mentors are great and all but it sounds like you are blaming all of your failures and shortcomings on not having one.

    Don't blame other people.

    Successful people blame themselves. They think they're stupid. They think they could do more, learn more, improve more.

    Unsuccessful people blame the world. They are know-it-alls. If you blame others then you won't improve yourself because it's not your fault. If you think you know everything then why should you get smarter? I think you need a mindset shift.

    Also, you can find mentorship through books, videos and other info online (this forum?)(THIS VERY POST?!??).
     
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  8. G-Man
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    G-Man Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    How can someone else give you self-discipline?
     
  9. SpartanWarrior77
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    The person would hold me accountable and act as a role model...
     
  10. G-Man
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    G-Man Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    I don't know what your personal situation is, or if you ever had a father figure, etc in your life, but you have to see the intense irony of trying to outsource accountability for your personal life to someone else.

    How about this: You clearly realize you need to change, so you're already in the plus column. You're going to start consistently doing things to make yourself better off every day. It's going to suck - hard. A year from now, it will suck slightly less. Eventually, it won't suck at all.

    If you're looking for someone else to do for you, you're wasting time. You can do it. Stop telling yourself you need somebody else.
     
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  11. SpartanWarrior77
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    SpartanWarrior77 Contributor

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    Im not blaming anyone. I have a tattoo that says "100% Responsible". I take full responsibility. I just want someone to help me because it's so tough to be consistent for me.
     
  12. SpartanWarrior77
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    SpartanWarrior77 Contributor

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    What does that mean? It will suck for a year? And then eventually suck even less? I like that....

    But I just wish I had someone to kick my ass once in a while. You were right, I didnt have a father figure growing up. I only got a decent role model recently (a year ago) and even he is suffering intensly with being disciplined.... Everywhere I look I see failure and a lack of impeccability. I'd like to be the change I wish to see in the world but I BEG THE UNIVERSE for one mentor, one guide.... I am NOT blaming and I fullly accept that Im 100% responsible but I cant do it! Every time I try, I always fail. ALWAYS. I do not have any consisteny. Like clockwork, I fail every single 10-15 days....
     
  13. Amon
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    Amon Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    First, a mentor will not because able to cure your lack of discipline. It sounds like the only thing you're extremely motivated at is sleeping or jumping around in the snow.

    Discipline begins and ends with the individual. If you're contacting mentors in the same needy fashion that you are here I can see where the issues might stem from.

    Finding a quality mentor can be quite a task for some, but so far I'm 3 for 3 in this with "nothing to offer".

    Second, how are you attempting to contact these guys?
    Did you do your research first and use that to properly phrase your first message? (If one of them likes a certain author, start a discussion here first - before you ask for help. Saying "hey man I know nothing but I'm pretty good at karate!" is unlikely to land you a spot.

    If you need someone to show you how to be consistent, try waking up every day/sticking to a schedule/getting things done/working out 4x a week/etc. A mentor isn't there to wake your ass out of bed.
     
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  14. cmor16
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    cmor16 Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Accountability in a mentor/mentee relationship falls 100% on the mentee. Even if you find one, it will still be up to you to set up the time with them, show up on time, follow through on your commitments, guide the conversation, etc. If you have troubles with consistency and self-discipline, you will likely need to sort those out 1st or else the mentorship will fail as well.
     
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  15. SpartanWarrior77
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    Yes, I know. Im good at being accountable to others. Not so good at being accountable to myself...
     
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  16. MidwestLandlord
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    MidwestLandlord Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Well, you know a big part of the whole fastlane gig is gaining freedom through not having a boss...right?

    So if you only get things done because someone else is holding you accountable, your only real motivation is trying to avoid negative consequences.

    That's not being a "mentee" that's being an "employee"


    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GWPp7igXF4


    All you need is YOU.
     
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  17. Curtis Randolph
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    Curtis Randolph Determined Problem Solver Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER

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    What you have just received is priceless feedback from many potential mentors that are actually giving you mentor-ship RIGHT NOW via this thread.

    Pay attention!! Take action!! Show the forum participants that are taking their time NOW to give you you that you can take advice and it might continue. Ignore or argue with their collective advice and it may dry up.

    Your call...:)

    Everyone has things that they can do. Who needs what you can do - look for that person.

    Amen

    Never gonna happen.
    Yes, please separate the self parenting that might help you develop into the person that you envision from getting a mentor - not the same. Good mentors might be"allergic" to this kind of thing.

    Yes, you can do it if you think you can do it but if you keep telling yourself that you cannot do it that might come true as well.

    Read your own conflicting words carefully here. Meditate on what you are actually stating. Change this belief. Mindset. Mindset. Mindset.

    FYI - Whenever you use the word "but" just erase the words that precede it. This means that you really do not believe what you just said and this needs to be removed from your mindset. Again, you can do it if you think you can do it (given time and effort) but if you keep telling yourself that you cannot do it that might come true as well. (right away) "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." Henry Ford
    Read more at: Henry Ford Quotes

    Bingo.

    Just start with one thing at at time and chip away at your opportunity for growth list.

    You must have this at some point or you will likely continue to self sabotage. Responsibility and accountability are two sides of the same coin. You cannot be 100% responsible and not be 100% accountable - to your self - no one else.

    YOU CAN DO THIS, JUST NEVER GIVE UP

    I will close my attempt to add some value to this thread and by extension - you - by adding one of my most favorite quotes. Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. Calvin Coolidge
    Read more at: Calvin Coolidge Quotes
     
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  18. Carnage
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    Carnage Bronze Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Mentorship is not something that is formal in the way you describe. That would be a coach or something. Mentorship just happens where you are learning from someone who has skills/qualities that you are trying to acquire. Mentors could even be people that you don't know. After reading MJ's book, he felt like the mentor to me, even though I had never spoken to him. Reading his words was like listening to him speak to me, same thing. A mentor is not there to hold your hand.

    Anyway, you say you're not disciplined. But what is it that you're trying to achieve? Do you have any goal you are trying to accomplish?
     
  19. JScott
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    JScott Platinum Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I will hold you accountable. Every time you catch yourself not being self-disciplined, I want you to send me $1. Let's see if you're serious about fixing the problem... ;)
     
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  20. JayPrince
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    Hey brother,

    Good job coming to the forums and asking questions! Self discipline is one of the hardest things alongside mindset to achieve, and if you can do it you're well on your way to success.

    Self discipline and consistency is not something that someone else can just show you and you do, self discipline is a mindset. It is the early mornings, not wanting to go work out and telling yourself to shut up and do it anyway ("and you're going to LOVE it!!"). Self discipline is those small actions each and every day to push yourself to new heights, it is the little actions that bring you above the rest.

    Someone else cannot teach you this, only you and you alone can really build discipline. Others can talk to you until they are blue in the face but quite frankly if you're unwilling to do something and don't tell yourself to shut up and do it anyway then what is that mentorship for? You're just wasting time. However, if you're willing to take a little bit of sacrifice (maybe sacrificing your time lazing on the couch when you have a book laying across the room from you), then you'll go far.

    There is a book that is amazing for this subject in particular, it has helped shape millions of people's thoughts on daily habits and disciplines that you may otherwise not see; that book is The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. He places huge significance on the small things, the daily things that carry you either up the success curve, or downwards towards failure. It is all up to you. Once you find that consistency, and focus on being the best person that you can be, mentors will come to you, you won't have to ask any longer.

    Best of luck to you!
    -Jacob
     
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  21. Andy Black
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    Andy Black Any colour, as long as it's red. Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Who will you help today?



    I recommend you check out the 700+ PMs post in my signature and the two radio interviews.
     
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  22. Nicoknowsbest
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    Nicoknowsbest "Next time, there will be no next time" - Eminem Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    You don't find a mentor.

    A mentor finds you.

    When?

    Whenever you are ready. This depends 100% on you.

    Stop looking, start doing.

    Look up @MJ DeMarco's butterfly metaphor.


    I will be the best "employee" you've ever had...

    I will be the best "girlfriend/boyfriend" you've ever had...

    I will be the best "business partner" you've ever had...


    You don't state things like this before getting to work.

    If you'll be one of these things, the person you are trying to convince ALREADY knows that when they are sitting opposite you.

    Because your actions should speak louder than words.

    Be a man of few words, but big actions.

    Great things will start happening.
     
  23. HelpingOthers
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    HelpingOthers New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

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    I am new here but let me take a stab at it.

    Go find someone you can mentor . There is someone out there that is having the same sort of trouble that you are having. Change the focus from you to someone else. Life takes on a new meaning when you can help someone. The secret is you will help yourself way more than the person you are trying to help.

    D


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  24. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Admin Post
    You already have that, but you don't see it because it doesn't fall into the comfortable terms you set up for yourself.

    The problem with young people today is that they are blinded by what they don't have, versus what the do have.

    When I was your age, I had NO access to mentors other than books. So I read a ton of books. I had no way to "tweet" millionaires. I had no forum filled with millionaires. I had no way to follow millionaires on FB, Twitter, Medium, or wherever. Access was virtually nothing.

    Today is a different story.

    ACCESS IS EVERYWHERE, but only if you invest the time into it. I'd even argue that this forum alone constitutes enough access to make a huge shift. (But visiting and reading a forum daily takes too much time!! I want it now!!)

    The problem is, this ACCESS requires an effort and from how I see it, you don't want to invest into an effort because you demand personal, one-on-one, hand-holding.

    Translation?

    You don't want a mentor -- you want someone to break the waves in front of you so you can surf the wake left behind.

    Ain't gonna happen.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2017
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  25. jon.a
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    jon.a Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    You should close the thread now.