[Progress] Graphic Designer Going Freelance & Fastlane

[Nicoknowsbest]

Thanks for reading and for your awesome feedback @Azure!

Happy this helps one way or another

 

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[AdamMaxum]

Great thread, although your latest posts indicate that something has to change and it sounds as if you're making those changes so that's good.

You mention you considered hiring someone to do work, but didn't because you may not afford it, I would advise you to find someone who can do what you do at the same price or ideally lower at the same quality. Test them with some small projects. Once they pass those tests, use them to sell your service so that they start doing the work and you sell / oversee. As work increases, you simply scale the people to grow with demand. When you bring people in, pay them a fixed cost for the project if possible so you can break out the costs/profit.

Basically, you want to outsource as soon as possible and focus your energy on sales/material/managing. It sounds daunting when you don't have a lot of money to pay people but as long as they are charging fixed prices and only working when a project happens, it's hard to lose money. I do this with website design, development and various marketing services.

I know my web developer charges me $600 a site or a custom quote when needed. I then sell the website for 3-4k. Repeat. As long as you have a solid understanding of the service you're selling, you can begin outsourcing pretty quickly and scale as you grow/sell.

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

Hi @AdamMaxum!

Great thread, although your latest posts indicate that something has to change and it sounds as if you're making those changes so that's good.

Good spot - I am changing things up a bit and started to see some first, small results.

Once they pass those tests, use them to sell your service so that they start doing the work and you sell / oversee.

Great advice. My work is very time intense and I pay the price for not spending some time on documenting what I am doing, talking to more people and start implementing sales processes.

My key task is to find somebody I can outsource some tasks to, apart from getting a steady stream of leads.

I somehow only really felt that work was achieved when I could deliver a project to a client, and not when I was on LinkedIn chatting to people.

Big mistake.

Basically, you want to outsource as soon as possible and focus your energy on sales/material/managing.

Freelancing by yourself is a tough game, because if you don't create assets or processes that you can re-sell or outsource, it's basically just another job - without any scaling opportunities whatsoever.

You are working away, but not really building a business.


It's been quite a thunderstorm over the last two weeks, but I started seeing some patterns emerge.


Thanks for your comment!

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

Hi guys.

It's been a while...

It's been crazy hectic months since I last posted.

What has happened recently?


Feeling Stuck
I felt that I was turning in circles before Christmas. I felt that something I couldn't get my hands on was holding me back. I also realized that it has been bugging me for a while. I looked around for a while and then decided to start working with two coaches on different levels to solve it. The experience was interesting and I learned quite some things about myself. It seems I had been held back by my self-image and hadn't given me permission to succeed before. This is a very complicated matter, but if you think you are struggling with something similar, I suggest to read @eliquid's excellent thread here: Not Fulfilled? Depressed? Maybe You Need An Alignment.


Spirituality
"When the student is ready the teacher will appear." - Buddha

I was somebody who never gave a thought about spirituality. My religion was work and my church the office. I thought enlightenment will come if I only work hard enough. Well, that didn't work so well. Around Christmas I then met somebody who introduced me to meditation. The effect it had on me was incredible. Slowly, step by step, all my negativity, stress and nervousness started to calm down and I felt power from within. Regularly meditating changed me and the way I interact with people quite a bit. It made me more grounded. It's now part of my morning routine and it works really well for me.


Offer
In the past year I have been doing nearly everything for everybody. I had around 40 clients or so in year 1 and worked on close to 100 projects. It was mostly one-off bespoke work, which was quite a pain. Week by week, you need to go out and hustle for it. Year 2 started off very promising. I met a key client who helped me refine my offer as well as my business model and connected me to some great people locally.

I am now reducing one-off bespoke work to almost a minimum, because I have been signing up 4 new clients over the last weeks who pay me MRR, monthly recurring revenue, for me to take care of what they need. Imagine it like a membership for design & marketing services. I am currently expanding my skill set and learning Facebook/Instagram ads, because I got the feedback from the market that this is where I should be going, taking my current skills into consideration.

The next step will be to do less of the actual work and start outsourcing to free up my time again.

MRR, though not passive, is amazing, because I finally can do some calculations and forecasting. Thank you @Andy Black for showing me the power of this.


Morning Routine
I finally got into a rhythm of a morning routine that is inspired by Hal Elrod's Miracle Morning. It's a great way to ground yourself before you start your day and calibrate your mind. Leaving the house after some silence, thoughts of gratitude, affirmations and visualizations, meditation and some stretching is a game changer.


Diet
When I am under stress, I tend to fall into bad eating habits. Mix in some tiredness, and I eat whatever comes along, in huge quantities. I also tend to overspend on food in these moments, just because I couldn't control it properly. I knew I needed to fix this, so I got a custom meal plan from a friend who is a nutritionist. The change was huge in the beginning and it took quite some willpower, but at the end feeling better was well worth it.


So far, so good.

Happy Tuesday everybody!

 

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[GregDott]

Just came across this thread today. Thanks for sharing your journey. I recently (a few months ago) started freelancing as a web and mobile developer, so your experiences have shed a lot of light on some things for me. I have found some great information from your process. Thanks... Will be watching this.

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

Just came across this thread today. Thanks for sharing your journey. I recently (a few months ago) started freelancing as a web and mobile developer, so your experiences have shed a lot of light on some things for me. I have found some great information from your process. Thanks... Will be watching this.

Hi @GregDott, thanks for reading! Awesome to hear that you got value out of it - feel free to ask away and I'll try to help.

 

[GregDott]

Hi @GregDott, thanks for reading! Awesome to hear that you got value out of it - feel free to ask away and I'll try to help.

You are most kind @Nicoknowsbest!

 

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[Nicoknowsbest]

How I cleared my mental fogginess

If I get into a rhythm of working long hours, not getting enough fresh air, postponing my workouts and not sleeping enough, I tend to lose control a bit. When I am stressed and overly tired, I neglect health. I don't workout and I eat fast food, because yeah, clients are waiting, right?

I had a rough cold a few weeks ago and it took me a while to get back on track, physically as well as work-wise. So I decided it was about time to break this cycle and put myself, my business and my health first again.

Action #1
My most important client is my own business. So I scheduled my day around 1 hour of growth work every morning during which I am not reachable for clients. Phone off, earphones in - this is where progress is made.

Action #2
I decided to do a reset in my body and do 2 weeks of dieting. I committed to eating only alkaline foods. This means I had to step down from 4-5 cups of coffee a day, for instance. I was vegan for a while before, so I knew what was coming up in terms of veggies and fruits. One week down, another one to go - the effects are very positive. My head is clear, I have way more energy and I feel much better overall.

Action #3
I am working out at 7am 4 times a week again. I am adding a couple of shorter runs/sprints after work at night - because being active outside is just irreplaceable. There's nothing too intimidating anymore after starting off Monday with 4 sets of heavy squats. If in doubt, squat


Thanks to @Andy Black I look at my progress in weekly cycles and evaluate what happened last week with the following questions:

1) Next Sunday, when you look back on this week, what needs to have happened for you to be happy with progress this week?

2) What can you do to make a sale this week?

3) What should you stop this week?

4) What should you start this week?


Here's what I am thinking about it this week:

1) I'd be happy if I find one more client this week and get the basics of my own branding done.

2) Follow up with my client base as well as talk to my contact who I have a referral deal with.

3) I should stop taking phone calls at all hours of the day.

4) I should start writing and documenting my journey and producing content every day.


Happy Monday everybody.

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

Looking back, here are the recent developments:

Separating my lives, business and private
I have clients who don't respect my privacy and text/call me at all times of the day, no matter which day of the week. After bringing this up a couple of times but nothing changing, I got a business phone number where I am reachable during office hours. Special clients have my private cell and know how to handle it.

Cleaning out my private life
To be able to focus on growth 100%, I needed to get rid of some obligations in my private life. I cleaned up my friends' list and stopped playing soccer. I used to be in a club, train 2 times a week and play a game once a week during the season. The management wanted to push me into a leading role and I declined and walked away. It took me around 45 mins in the car to go there, so much more time for growth and recovery now.

Tracking clients' progresses
I am sending my clients a weekly update now, covering time worked, problems solved and results/goals achieved. So far, my services are hard to tie to actual numbers, but getting there.

From graphic designer to consultant
Clients don't call me the graphic dude anymore. I added PPC skills (AdWords & Facebook), copywriting and social media marketing to my offer after clients suggested I help them with these. This means that I am getting paid to learn and refine my skills while adding more value. This shows that the fact that people buy from people is more important than actual skills. Some of my clients even call me for business advice now, before they make a bigger decision. This makes me feel very humble and shows me that I am progressing.

Looking at my goals from last week...

• 1) I'd be happy if I find one more client this week and get the basics of my own branding done. --> DONE: branding is almost there, new client deal might be sealed today.
• 2) Follow up with my client base as well as talk to my contact who I have a referral deal with. --> DONE: meeting a new lead today and sent out an offer to an existing client.
• 3) I should stop taking phone calls at all hours of the day. --> DONE: whenever I do technical work, I mute my phone. This increased my productivity drastically.
• 4) I should start writing and documenting my journey and producing content every day. --> FAILED: I still need to integrate this better into my daily routine.

For this week...

• 1) Next Sunday, when you look back on this week, what needs to have happened for you to be happy with progress this week? --> Close two open leads and add MRR, finish my branding.
• 2) What can you do to make a sale this week? --> Told my referral deal partner that I have more resources so I am waiting to hear back from him.
• 3) What should you stop this week? --> After 2 weeks of eating clean, I fell into old habits and immediately paid the price. I should stop eating stuff I know is not good for me.
• 4) What should you start this week? --> Writing every day.

Thanks for reading and happy Wednesday!

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

Close two open leads and add MRR

Deal is sealed with one of the leads.

The second lead is waiting for an offer from my side - we agreed on after Easter.

Status Quo:

• 6 clients paying me MRR (not passive)
• 1 warm lead in the pipeline

 

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[nickgraham1234]

Hi Nico, can we get an update? I enjoyed reading through your thread!

 

[Ninjakid]

Congrats on the progress!

Can we all just take a moment to thank @Lex DeVille and @Andy Black for their contributions? So much of us starting out would be completely lost without their guidance.

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

Update

Yep, it's been a while. It was one hell of a ride over the last 1,5 years. I learned a few lessons the hard way and now I am back to square one, it seems. But with loads of experiences in your pocket, you are never back at square one, even if it looks like it.

Thanks for your comment @nickgraham1234 - I'll go into detail of what happened down below.

@Ninjakid thanks for stating this fact too - 100% agreed. Without these two, many of us wouldn't be where they are today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart @Andy Black and @Lex DeVille. Without you, life wouldn't be the same.

Before I go into detail, here’s the tl;dr: I was scaling up my revenues until I hit 5 figures a month beginning of the year, was hiring freelancers and thought that I am finally on to something. A few months after that, I crashed, burned and nearly had to file for bankruptcy.

Okay, so here’s what I wrote to two people who have been companions on my journey ever since a few weeks ago:

I thought long and hard about what and how I'll share it, but ultimately decided to share it how it went down, so you guys can all learn from it…

What REALLY happened in the last 1,5 years:

You might still remember my struggles from about 1,5 years ago. Back then, I had a new client, who seemed like a great win, but my feeling was giving me signs already back then.

It was the coach, remember?

The one who made me get a business phone number, because he kept bugging me after office hours, on the weekends, et"C"

Against my better judgement, I went for it.

Why?

Simple...

Because I thought, it was only my comfort zone giving me a bad feeling and I finally wanted to break through. Well... I did break, but not through... I did break a few things on the way, including a few things of myself.

Today, it is D-Day.

Just a few minutes ago I sent this guy an email, cancelling all projects, blocking all contact and warning him to ever come close again.

To send such an email, it takes a lot. Again, you guys might know this... I am a very positive and happy person, usually. I can take a lot of heat, a lot of pressure, a lot of bullshit. But once my red zone is reached, there is no turning back.

Okay...

So what happened?

Let's go back 1,5 years. I moved out of my home office and moved into a shared office in a business park not far from my house. There, I bumped into some weird character, who I found interesting.

Maybe you guys remember “F”.

Anyway, I started chatting with “F” and he became a client for graphic design. We also tried AdWords for him, which you guys know. “F” then introduced me to "C". Sorry guys, I cannot spell out his name at the moment, I am too upset.

Anyway, "F" said I should talk to "C" because he is a super successful business consultant. He was the CEO of big national and international businesses under 30 and lived the life, buying Porsches in cash, until he crashed and had a burn out.

After that, he became an independent business consultant.

Which would help me gain traction. Or so I thought.

"C" then kept bringing up topics that are completely unrelated to business and said I should deal with these, they keep me from having success...

One of these things was a family constellation.

I don't know if you guys have ever heard of such a thing. The basic concept is that information is passed on over generations and that something our grand grandfathers did can prevent us from having success in certain areas of life.

Let's say grand grandfather Albert cheated on his wife. So the theory then says that maybe his grand grandchild Peter lives up to Albert subconsciously and cheats on every partner he has. All of this is not happening on a logical level, but on a spiritual level.

So yeah... Now it begins…

"C" kept pushing me and pushing me. First, he actually paid. I said I'd do some marketing on Facebook and AdWords for him on the side. This didn't work out, for various reasons. Then he pulled the card that I cannot sell stuff I don't know how to do and that I can get sued for that.

Somewhere along the way, I said that this is too much and I want to quit working with him.

Guys, you have to imagine, this guy was obsessing over single letters on whole posters, texting me last thing at night, first thing in the morning, calling me multiple times a day.

He then suggested that he coaches me to success as a compensation for me doing work for him.

And I agreed.

And this is when it all started. He literally dragged me into his world and suddenly we ended up doing all sorts of things that had nothing to do with business after all.

The tricky part comes now...

You might ask yourself: "Why the hell would you do this Nico?"

Well... I was very, very desperate in terms of finally having money and success, that I would have done a rain dance in order to break through. Well, not so far from the truth actually.

The thing is, that my revenues did pick up for a while, and some months, I earned quite big.

But here's the thing... He only sent me his clients, who would of course also do what he said. I got tricked in the beginning of the year, because he sent me a few clients that I closed immediately and I had a revenue of over €10.000 in January - in only ONE month.

A year before that, I earned around €700-800 a month, so of course I was thrilled.

But yeah, bummer...

Until June, I didn't sell that much anymore. So €10.000 a month quickly stretched out over the next 6 months and I was running thin. Also, because making a deal on paper is one thing. Having money in your account is another thing.

Somewhere along the way, he told me that every human being has a mission on this planet. And if you don't follow that mission, your calling let's say, life will punish you for it. And of course he is the one who can tell you your calling.

I was interested, just out of curiosity...

So my calling supposedly is to bring other people into financial freedom through online marketing. With the emphasis on OTHER PEOPLE.

Funny, right?

He needed online marketing a while back... How convenient... That I supposedly become the next prodigy in this field...

I was a bit stunned and skeptical, but hey, I was done with the graphic design stuff, so why not try this. Oh boy, was I naive.

So, on top of him coaching me to success (or was it success?), he offered to buy an online coaching program about online marketing from the German market leader. I think it was around €6.000...

Since it was my reward for work I already did in the past for him - because he stopped paying at the point where we would exchange him coaching me for my man hours - I didn't see a conflict when "accepting" this "present".

Anyway, the training was okayish, but not really worth €6.000. I would have been very upset if this was my money.

Short sidenote...

Don't forget, I had daily contact with him. Never hearing a positive word, only getting pointed out my mistakes, that I am an amateur, etc. My girlfriend's alarm bells were already ringing like crazy, but since he was so close to my thoughts, he navigated all these things like a wizard.

Meanwhile, I did loads of work for him and his clients. The work I did for his clients was paid, otherwise I would have gone broke loooong time ago. But he insisted that I do his things always first and always as quickly as possible…

Why did I do this?

Because I felt I had to pay back for him sending me clients. Multiply that with the thought of me going broke without his clients and you have a super dangerous cocktail of “obedience”.

Meanwhile, I disconnected with many, many people. I disconnected partly with my parents, because successful people cut out everybody that doesn’t follow their rules, right?

I disconnected with my friends.

Slowly slowly, people started wondering what was going on with me. They started worrying - most of all my girlfriend together with my parents.

“Who are you becoming? You are not yourself anymore…” was a daily comment.

I didn’t see it, because I didn’t want to see it. I was on my way to my first million, and nobody would stop me. And successful people burn bridges, don’t they?

So all cool, right?

Well yeah…

So I was heading full speed towards a frontal crash into the wall, without me even thinking that this was an option.

The breaking point

Ha, I bet you wondered already when that would come up, right?

Sooo… It was December. Meanwhile, I was working like a maniac. Late nights, super-early mornings, weekends. ALL THE TIME. I went to the office at 4 am in the morning at times. I worked so much and let "C" create so much pressure for me that I literally couldn’t stand anymore. I gave up everything else in life.

No parties. No drinks. No gym. No boxing. No soccer. No friends. No family. Nothing.

I wanted it so badly. I wanted to finally be a success. I forgot about everything else.

One Sunday I get a text from him, that I need to check something out. At that point, we had already talked about advanced visualization techniques for more success, meditation, etc.

All in the light of bringing my full power on the road and becoming a huge success… Or so…

So, I should check out some sort of Yoga to get ahead even quicker. That’s what all millionaires do. In my mind, I was already a billionaire. So I went to this weekend course that turned out to be a one on one spiritual coaching in this yoga teacher’s run down flat.

It was cold, dirty and I was wondering what the hell I was doing. That was the first moment after months in which I woke up.

After this experience, I was so shocked, I couldn’t think straight for days, if not weeks. I nearly lost it guys… I didn’t know how this would fit in the picture of me becoming a millionaire.

So I confronted "C" with this and he just said that most people don’t understand it at first, but that I should trust him.

Yeah well…

The second breaking point came soon after. He invited me for a coaching to his office as a reward for the “great” work I had been doing for him at this point.

Oh boy, now shit hit the fan…

He told me that he recently did a course on hypnosis and that he wants to help me to success quicker through hypnosis. First, I was like: “What the hell?”.

But then I thought, okay, let’s test this guy. I thought, let’s see what he really wants. I blocked the hypnosis and listened to every word he said during this time span.

Afterwards, I had to digest what I heard for a few days and weeks. It didn’t make sense to me and I couldn’t fit it in the picture of me becoming a millionaire...

Anyway, I laid low for a while and hoped that all would make sense at one point.

Oh, before I forget… Before the coaching unit mentioned above, he made me sign up for a 12 month group coaching for entrepreneurs. We would meet up once a month and work towards our goals, create synergies, etc.

Yep, I did that too…

Don’t ask.

While sitting on the floor for hours (the meeting was scheduled from 7 till 9 pm, but often lasted until midnight - and remember, his office was 350km away from me and I went there and came back straight away, working the day of the meeting and the next day) we started talking about how we all love each other and world peace and that sort of stuff…

I told you not to ask ;-)

The final act

While all these things were happening and I was running out of A) work and B) money, "C" said that my final break-through is about to come.

There is just one thing left to do. Create a full-blown, fully automated online marketing system for him, that sells his products day and night.

That was the topic of the course I took that he paid for…

I was telling myself that this is the final act and then I will quit. Remember, I NEVER EVER quit. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.

For some reason, I couldn’t do it. Literally every time I started working on it, my brain froze.

It’s hard, "C" said, because this is the final stage. I have to push through. I need to work more, best 2 weeks non-stop, with only 2-3 hours of sleep a day.

Don’t forget - I was already in the red zone for months at this point. I was completely destroyed physically and mentally. I jumped through all the hoops there were.

And now I should push more?

There was no more. I gave it all I had, but I ran out of gas. Around that period, my girlfriend and me booked a small vacation. It was planned as a vacation, but actually it was some sort of rehabilitation camp for my burn-out, or whatever that was.

I sat on the beach for hours, not talking, not sleeping, not doing anything, except for staring at the sea.

After days of doing this, I started feeling a bit better. Somewhere deep down, a new flame started lighting up. So I started feeling a bit better.

After we returned home and hell started from scratch. Now, the pressure of running really low on money was added to the mix and again, this was a deadly cocktail.

I started ignoring "C", not taking his calls, not responding whatsoever. He even started texting my girlfriend and my brother, which was the last, but not least line he crossed.

I thought: “Okay, hey, let’s deal with it like men do.” and I went to talk to him. Don’t forget, it is 350km away. Don’t ask me what happened, but after coming home, I was in some sort of tunnel. AGAIN.

I thought okay, let’s finish this for him. Maybe it really is my breakt-through.

Can you guess what happened next?

Right. I went bankrupt. I had to borrow money from E.V.E.R.Y.B.O.D.Y.

When I told "C" that he had done a good job coaching me to success, he told me that life is forcing me now to finally live my calling and do online marketing which of course would start with building his system first. And that I should ask my parents for money. He said I should take 3 months off, build his system while living off my parents’ pockets.

And this is when I saw red.

I got the signs a long time ago.

I ignored them all.

I saw red.

All of a sudden.

Not a little red.

F.U.L.L. R.E.D. all the way.

I took a bit of time off last week and thought to cool down before I say stuff that would hurt people.

Wrong decision, again.

Because, yeah, you guessed right.

"C" kept texting me in my vacation. And just now, around an hour ago, I cut A.L.L. cords. I told him to never call me again. To never text me again. To never come close to me again. To leave my girlfriend in peace.

It was a very slick, but crystal clear email. If you want, you can read some threat between the lines. That was also the intention. Because I felt threatened. Not only did I see my well-being endangered, but also that of the people around me.

While I am sitting here typing these words, I feel sick. Sick of myself. For somebody with half a brain, all of the above would have been very clear. I know I have a well functioning, whole brain, and all I can ask myself now is…

HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?

WHY THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?

This is my story. This is what really happened over the last 1,5 years. It’s the main plot, while there are many more details I spare you at the moment. Maybe I’ll write a book about it one day, who knows.

All I can ask of you is to try to understand me. And don’t judge me. I know I would judge somebody telling me such a f*cked up story. But the truth is, and I never believed this, it happened to me…

I hope you guys can learn one or two lessons from this.

Oh, and feel free to ask away anything that comes to mind. Literally, anything. No borders. I think part of me dealing with this is to be brutally honest about it. And that encounters brutally honest answers to brutally honest questions.

Even if it hurts…

P.S. I am unbelievably grateful that I can share that with you guys. You have been there all along, and this I will never forget.

 

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[Lex DeVille]

Update

Yep, it's been a while. It was one hell of a ride over the last 1,5 years. I learned a few lessons the hard way and now I am back to square one, it seems. But with loads of experiences in your pocket, you are never back at square one, even if it looks like it.

Thanks for your comment @nickgraham1234 - I'll go into detail of what happened down below.

@Ninjakid thanks for stating this fact too - 100% agreed. Without these two, many of us wouldn't be where they are today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart @Andy Black and @Lex DeVille. Without you, life wouldn't be the same.

Before I go into detail, here’s the tl;dr: I was scaling up my revenues until I hit 5 figures a month beginning of the year, was hiring freelancers and thought that I am finally on to something. A few months after that, I crashed, burned and nearly had to file for bankruptcy.

Okay, so here’s what I wrote to two people who have been companions on my journey ever since a few weeks ago:

I thought long and hard about what and how I'll share it, but ultimately decided to share it how it went down, so you guys can all learn from it…

What REALLY happened in the last 1,5 years:

You might still remember my struggles from about 1,5 years ago. Back then, I had a new client, who seemed like a great win, but my feeling was giving me signs already back then.

It was the coach, remember?

The one who made me get a business phone number, because he kept bugging me after office hours, on the weekends, et"C"

Against my better judgement, I went for it.

Why?

Simple...

Because I thought, it was only my comfort zone giving me a bad feeling and I finally wanted to break through. Well... I did break, but not through... I did break a few things on the way, including a few things of myself.

Today, it is D-Day.

Just a few minutes ago I sent this guy an email, cancelling all projects, blocking all contact and warning him to ever come close again.

To send such an email, it takes a lot. Again, you guys might know this... I am a very positive and happy person, usually. I can take a lot of heat, a lot of pressure, a lot of bullshit. But once my red zone is reached, there is no turning back.

Okay...

So what happened?

Let's go back 1,5 years. I moved out of my home office and moved into a shared office in a business park not far from my house. There, I bumped into some weird character, who I found interesting.

Maybe you guys remember “F”.

Anyway, I started chatting with “F” and he became a client for graphic design. We also tried AdWords for him, which you guys know. “F” then introduced me to "C". Sorry guys, I cannot spell out his name at the moment, I am too upset.

Anyway, "F" said I should talk to "C" because he is a super successful business consultant. He was the CEO of big national and international businesses under 30 and lived the life, buying Porsches in cash, until he crashed and had a burn out.

After that, he became an independent business consultant.

Which would help me gain traction. Or so I thought.

"C" then kept bringing up topics that are completely unrelated to business and said I should deal with these, they keep me from having success...

One of these things was a family constellation.

I don't know if you guys have ever heard of such a thing. The basic concept is that information is passed on over generations and that something our grand grandfathers did can prevent us from having success in certain areas of life.

Let's say grand grandfather Albert cheated on his wife. So the theory then says that maybe his grand grandchild Peter lives up to Albert subconsciously and cheats on every partner he has. All of this is not happening on a logical level, but on a spiritual level.

So yeah... Now it begins…

"C" kept pushing me and pushing me. First, he actually paid. I said I'd do some marketing on Facebook and AdWords for him on the side. This didn't work out, for various reasons. Then he pulled the card that I cannot sell stuff I don't know how to do and that I can get sued for that.

Somewhere along the way, I said that this is too much and I want to quit working with him.

Guys, you have to imagine, this guy was obsessing over single letters on whole posters, texting me last thing at night, first thing in the morning, calling me multiple times a day.

He then suggested that he coaches me to success as a compensation for me doing work for him.

And I agreed.

And this is when it all started. He literally dragged me into his world and suddenly we ended up doing all sorts of things that had nothing to do with business after all.

The tricky part comes now...

You might ask yourself: "Why the hell would you do this Nico?"

Well... I was very, very desperate in terms of finally having money and success, that I would have done a rain dance in order to break through. Well, not so far from the truth actually.

The thing is, that my revenues did pick up for a while, and some months, I earned quite big.

But here's the thing... He only sent me his clients, who would of course also do what he said. I got tricked in the beginning of the year, because he sent me a few clients that I closed immediately and I had a revenue of over €10.000 in January - in only ONE month.

A year before that, I earned around €700-800 a month, so of course I was thrilled.

But yeah, bummer...

Until June, I didn't sell that much anymore. So €10.000 a month quickly stretched out over the next 6 months and I was running thin. Also, because making a deal on paper is one thing. Having money in your account is another thing.

Somewhere along the way, he told me that every human being has a mission on this planet. And if you don't follow that mission, your calling let's say, life will punish you for it. And of course he is the one who can tell you your calling.

I was interested, just out of curiosity...

So my calling supposedly is to bring other people into financial freedom through online marketing. With the emphasis on OTHER PEOPLE.

Funny, right?

He needed online marketing a while back... How convenient... That I supposedly become the next prodigy in this field...

I was a bit stunned and skeptical, but hey, I was done with the graphic design stuff, so why not try this. Oh boy, was I naive.

So, on top of him coaching me to success (or was it success?), he offered to buy an online coaching program about online marketing from the German market leader. I think it was around €6.000...

Since it was my reward for work I already did in the past for him - because he stopped paying at the point where we would exchange him coaching me for my man hours - I didn't see a conflict when "accepting" this "present".

Anyway, the training was okayish, but not really worth €6.000. I would have been very upset if this was my money.

Short sidenote...

Don't forget, I had daily contact with him. Never hearing a positive word, only getting pointed out my mistakes, that I am an amateur, etc. My girlfriend's alarm bells were already ringing like crazy, but since he was so close to my thoughts, he navigated all these things like a wizard.

Meanwhile, I did loads of work for him and his clients. The work I did for his clients was paid, otherwise I would have gone broke loooong time ago. But he insisted that I do his things always first and always as quickly as possible…

Why did I do this?

Because I felt I had to pay back for him sending me clients. Multiply that with the thought of me going broke without his clients and you have a super dangerous cocktail of “obedience”.

Meanwhile, I disconnected with many, many people. I disconnected partly with my parents, because successful people cut out everybody that doesn’t follow their rules, right?

I disconnected with my friends.

Slowly slowly, people started wondering what was going on with me. They started worrying - most of all my girlfriend together with my parents.

“Who are you becoming? You are not yourself anymore…” was a daily comment.

I didn’t see it, because I didn’t want to see it. I was on my way to my first million, and nobody would stop me. And successful people burn bridges, don’t they?

So all cool, right?

Well yeah…

So I was heading full speed towards a frontal crash into the wall, without me even thinking that this was an option.

The breaking point

Ha, I bet you wondered already when that would come up, right?

Sooo… It was December. Meanwhile, I was working like a maniac. Late nights, super-early mornings, weekends. ALL THE TIME. I went to the office at 4 am in the morning at times. I worked so much and let "C" create so much pressure for me that I literally couldn’t stand anymore. I gave up everything else in life.

No parties. No drinks. No gym. No boxing. No soccer. No friends. No family. Nothing.

I wanted it so badly. I wanted to finally be a success. I forgot about everything else.

One Sunday I get a text from him, that I need to check something out. At that point, we had already talked about advanced visualization techniques for more success, meditation, etc.

All in the light of bringing my full power on the road and becoming a huge success… Or so…

So, I should check out some sort of Yoga to get ahead even quicker. That’s what all millionaires do. In my mind, I was already a billionaire. So I went to this weekend course that turned out to be a one on one spiritual coaching in this yoga teacher’s run down flat.

It was cold, dirty and I was wondering what the hell I was doing. That was the first moment after months in which I woke up.

After this experience, I was so shocked, I couldn’t think straight for days, if not weeks. I nearly lost it guys… I didn’t know how this would fit in the picture of me becoming a millionaire.

So I confronted "C" with this and he just said that most people don’t understand it at first, but that I should trust him.

Yeah well…

The second breaking point came soon after. He invited me for a coaching to his office as a reward for the “great” work I had been doing for him at this point.

Oh boy, now shit hit the fan…

He told me that he recently did a course on hypnosis and that he wants to help me to success quicker through hypnosis. First, I was like: “What the hell?”.

But then I thought, okay, let’s test this guy. I thought, let’s see what he really wants. I blocked the hypnosis and listened to every word he said during this time span.

Afterwards, I had to digest what I heard for a few days and weeks. It didn’t make sense to me and I couldn’t fit it in the picture of me becoming a millionaire...

Anyway, I laid low for a while and hoped that all would make sense at one point.

Oh, before I forget… Before the coaching unit mentioned above, he made me sign up for a 12 month group coaching for entrepreneurs. We would meet up once a month and work towards our goals, create synergies, etc.

Yep, I did that too…

Don’t ask.

While sitting on the floor for hours (the meeting was scheduled from 7 till 9 pm, but often lasted until midnight - and remember, his office was 350km away from me and I went there and came back straight away, working the day of the meeting and the next day) we started talking about how we all love each other and world peace and that sort of stuff…

I told you not to ask ;-)

The final act

While all these things were happening and I was running out of A) work and B) money, "C" said that my final break-through is about to come.

There is just one thing left to do. Create a full-blown, fully automated online marketing system for him, that sells his products day and night.

That was the topic of the course I took that he paid for…

I was telling myself that this is the final act and then I will quit. Remember, I NEVER EVER quit. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.

For some reason, I couldn’t do it. Literally every time I started working on it, my brain froze.

It’s hard, "C" said, because this is the final stage. I have to push through. I need to work more, best 2 weeks non-stop, with only 2-3 hours of sleep a day.

Don’t forget - I was already in the red zone for months at this point. I was completely destroyed physically and mentally. I jumped through all the hoops there were.

And now I should push more?

There was no more. I gave it all I had, but I ran out of gas. Around that period, my girlfriend and me booked a small vacation. It was planned as a vacation, but actually it was some sort of rehabilitation camp for my burn-out, or whatever that was.

I sat on the beach for hours, not talking, not sleeping, not doing anything, except for staring at the sea.

After days of doing this, I started feeling a bit better. Somewhere deep down, a new flame started lighting up. So I started feeling a bit better.

After we returned home and hell started from scratch. Now, the pressure of running really low on money was added to the mix and again, this was a deadly cocktail.

I started ignoring "C", not taking his calls, not responding whatsoever. He even started texting my girlfriend and my brother, which was the last, but not least line he crossed.

I thought: “Okay, hey, let’s deal with it like men do.” and I went to talk to him. Don’t forget, it is 350km away. Don’t ask me what happened, but after coming home, I was in some sort of tunnel. AGAIN.

I thought okay, let’s finish this for him. Maybe it really is my breakt-through.

Can you guess what happened next?

Right. I went bankrupt. I had to borrow money from E.V.E.R.Y.B.O.D.Y.

When I told "C" that he had done a good job coaching me to success, he told me that life is forcing me now to finally live my calling and do online marketing which of course would start with building his system first. And that I should ask my parents for money. He said I should take 3 months off, build his system while living off my parents’ pockets.

And this is when I saw red.

I got the signs a long time ago.

I ignored them all.

I saw red.

All of a sudden.

Not a little red.

F.U.L.L. R.E.D. all the way.

I took a bit of time off last week and thought to cool down before I say stuff that would hurt people.

Wrong decision, again.

Because, yeah, you guessed right.

"C" kept texting me in my vacation. And just now, around an hour ago, I cut A.L.L. cords. I told him to never call me again. To never text me again. To never come close to me again. To leave my girlfriend in peace.

It was a very slick, but crystal clear email. If you want, you can read some threat between the lines. That was also the intention. Because I felt threatened. Not only did I see my well-being endangered, but also that of the people around me.

While I am sitting here typing these words, I feel sick. Sick of myself. For somebody with half a brain, all of the above would have been very clear. I know I have a well functioning, whole brain, and all I can ask myself now is…

HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?

WHY THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?

This is my story. This is what really happened over the last 1,5 years. It’s the main plot, while there are many more details I spare you at the moment. Maybe I’ll write a book about it one day, who knows.

All I can ask of you is to try to understand me. And don’t judge me. I know I would judge somebody telling me such a f*cked up story. But the truth is, and I never believed this, it happened to me…

I hope you guys can learn one or two lessons from this.

Oh, and feel free to ask away anything that comes to mind. Literally, anything. No borders. I think part of me dealing with this is to be brutally honest about it. And that encounters brutally honest answers to brutally honest questions.

Even if it hurts…

P.S. I am unbelievably grateful that I can share that with you guys. You have been there all along, and this I will never forget.

This reads like a story straight out of "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and you don't need to feel any particular way about it except what you already feel with regard to anger and frustration.

Cults and the gurus who run them target intelligent, hard-working producer types. They don't want stupid people. They don't want lazy people. They want producers who will produce for them. They want people who think they are too smart to fall for the traps because those people let their guard down.

Gurus and the cults they form center around pulling people in and keeping them so busy and confused that they don't have time to think. Members become mentally exhausted and vulnerable to concepts such as hypnosis, which it sounds like he was using from the start, not just at the point when he mentioned it.

Based on what you've described here, you took the best action. Cut ties. Never talk to him again. You have everything you need to create a $10k/mo business on your own even if you have to start from scratch. Good for you for realizing it when you did. Could've wasted a lot more time and energy and wound up even worse off.

 

[Lex DeVille]

Oh, and feel free to ask away anything that comes to mind. Literally, anything. No borders. I think part of me dealing with this is to be brutally honest about it. And that encounters brutally honest answers to brutally honest questions.

Where will you go from here? What's next? How will you start to pick up the pieces and put them back together?

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

This reads like a story straight out of "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and you don't need to feel any particular way about it except what you already feel with regard to anger and frustration.

Cults and the gurus who run them target intelligent, hard-working producer types. They don't want stupid people. They don't want lazy people. They want producers who will produce for them. They want people who think they are too smart to fall for the traps because their guard is down.

Gurus and the cults they form center around pulling people in and keeping them so busy and confused that they don't have time to think. Members become mentally exhausted and vulnerable to concepts such as hypnosis, which it sounds like he was using from the start, not just at the point when he mentioned it.

Based on what you've described here, you took the best action. Cut ties. Never talk to him again. You have everything you need to create a $10k/mo business on your own even if you have to start from scratch. Good for you for realizing it when you did. Could've wasted a lot more time and energy and wound up even worse off.

Thank you very much for taking your time to read this and respond @Lex DeVille! Your words are the missing piece of the puzzle for me. Now I really understand what happened. Oh boy! I am even so far that I am thankful it happened how it happened, because...

A) it's an experience I can learn many things from, which prevents me falling for it at a later stage...

...and...

B) I could have ended up much worse...

Where will you go from here? What's next? How will you start to pick up the pieces and put them back together?

I was left with no money and almost no clients, but a bunch of skills. Thinking about it now I actually consider it a blessing in disguise. The way I was going, even if it worked, was a programmed failure. I for instance realized that I don't want to be building an actual agency anymore.

Looking at what I have been selling over the last years, I learned two things:

1. Graphic Design projects are freaking hard to sell. You cannot really measure ROI on investments and it is hard to justify asking for more money at the end of a project if you haven't moved the needle for the business. Moving the needle always means more leads, more sales, more revenues.
2. It is sooo tiring to sell one-off, smallish projects, month after month. No matter if it's a $100 flyer, a $1000 logo or a $5000 All-In Deal (I have sold all of these and more), at the end of the day, at one point, the project is finished, the client is served and you have to start from scratch. Building a business that way is very, very hard, since it's not predictable.

So I decided to focus on a skill that moves the needle and can be packaged into monthly recurring revenues. Instead of playing wantrepreneur, building a new brand, a new website, business cards and what not I will only use my name and my LinkedIn profile.

The milestones for the next weeks/months are these:

• Use my network of contacts and past clients to hustle to 1x again, doing anything that needs to be done
• Meanwhile, focusing on selling the chosen skill as a service and building MRR (monthly recurring revenue) up to 1x

Once this is done, I'll have some breathing space to make new decisions.

Let's go

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

Hi Nico! Sorry to hear about what went on with you... definitely something to watch out for, and I hope more people on this forum read your story and learn from it.

I think another important point is that you need to get your priorities right: money is important, but it's not the MOST important. For example, it wouldn't be worth having all the money in the world if you had to be a slave for it.

Money is valuable because it helps you achieve FREEDOM. So tying yourself to "mentors", "gurus", and the like is the opposite of freedom. You're exchanging your freedom for money, and the whole point was to get money to increase your freedom. So if you lose sight of the real purpose, then you can easily fall into traps.

I'm happy to hear that you're restarting if you want any pointers or advice at any point feel free to reach out. I own a direct response agency, and we work with many entrepreneurs online selling all kinds of products and services. I'd be happy to help you out with advice if you ever need it (not with our services because we're quite expensive and most people can't afford haha).

One piece of advice:

1. Graphic Design projects are freaking hard to sell. You cannot really measure ROI on investments and it is hard to justify asking for more money at the end of a project if you haven't moved the needle for the business. Moving the needle always means more leads, more sales, more revenues.
2. It is sooo tiring to sell one-off, smallish projects, month after month. No matter if it's a $100 flyer, a $1000 logo or a $5000 All-In Deal (I have sold all of these and more), at the end of the day, at one point, the project is finished, the client is served and you have to start from scratch. Building a business that way is very, very hard, since it's not predictable.

1. Then you shouldn't try to sell your product by relating it to ROI. Maybe there are other benefits of having great graphic design - a website that you're proud of and that represents you, etc. Maybe it will be really hard to track the ROI and see how it improves it, but we all intuitively know that better, easier to understand design that is neat and clear WILL make you look more professional and bring in more buyers. And you have the stats to back it up. So don't give up on it. You've uncovered a problem. Solve it!! Start blogging about it, educate your market, and they'll flip out their wallets like you've never thought possible before. That's where it's at nowadays - education. It's all about that.

2. Yes, the project is always finished and the client is always served, BUT... what's your referrals strategy? Every client should mean more clients. Have you thought about that? What about follow-up strategy? Keep your clients updated with news about graphic design through a newsletter. Then every once in a while you publish an article like "How A Well Designed Brochure Can Increase Your Revenue" and offer them a discount coupon for a brochure. If you build your list out the right way, these people are going to buy from you...

Remember - don't run from problems. The obstacle IS the way.

Good luck!

 

[Andy Black]

Hi Nico! Sorry to hear about what went on with you... definitely something to watch out for, and I hope more people on this forum read your story and learn from it.

I think another important point is that you need to get your priorities right: money is important, but it's not the MOST important. For example, it wouldn't be worth having all the money in the world if you had to be a slave for it.

Money is valuable because it helps you achieve FREEDOM. So tying yourself to "mentors", "gurus", and the like is the opposite of freedom. You're exchanging your freedom for money, and the whole point was to get money to increase your freedom. So if you lose sight of the real purpose, then you can easily fall into traps.

I'm happy to hear that you're restarting if you want any pointers or advice at any point feel free to reach out. I own a direct response agency, and we work with many entrepreneurs online selling all kinds of products and services. I'd be happy to help you out with advice if you ever need it (not with our services because we're quite expensive and most people can't afford haha).

One piece of advice:

1. Then you shouldn't try to sell your product by relating it to ROI. Maybe there are other benefits of having great graphic design - a website that you're proud of and that represents you, etc. Maybe it will be really hard to track the ROI and see how it improves it, but we all intuitively know that better, easier to understand design that is neat and clear WILL make you look more professional and bring in more buyers. And you have the stats to back it up. So don't give up on it. You've uncovered a problem. Solve it!! Start blogging about it, educate your market, and they'll flip out their wallets like you've never thought possible before. That's where it's at nowadays - education. It's all about that.

2. Yes, the project is always finished and the client is always served, BUT... what's your referrals strategy? Every client should mean more clients. Have you thought about that? What about follow-up strategy? Keep your clients updated with news about graphic design through a newsletter. Then every once in a while you publish an article like "How A Well Designed Brochure Can Increase Your Revenue" and offer them a discount coupon for a brochure. If you build your list out the right way, these people are going to buy from you...

Remember - don't run from problems. The obstacle IS the way.

Good luck!

Great post!

Yes, often the obstacle is a stepping stone in disguise.

Good point about getting the priorities right.

 

[Andy Black]

Here's a video message I sent to @Nicoknowsbest after I first read his story. It's an unlisted video but Nico is happy for others to see it.

View: https://youtu.be/i8ejPEDfBjs

 

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[Nicoknowsbest]

Damn, THANKS for your comment @Black_Dragon43 - many things fell into place in my head after reading this.

Let me elaborate...

I think another important point is that you need to get your priorities right: money is important, but it's not the MOST important. For example, it wouldn't be worth having all the money in the world if you had to be a slave for it.

100% agreed. Here's how it came to it... If you check this post here you'll see that I doubted myself for being a giver. I was taken advantage of for many years, in all areas of life. At one point, I thought, heck, I am too soft for this stuff.

My answer to this was: "Ok then, now it's only money that counts. I will only focus on money." This is how my head twisted this idea of being too giving into something more "business minded".

But that's resolved now ;-)

Money is valuable because it helps you achieve FREEDOM. So tying yourself to "mentors", "gurus", and the like is the opposite of freedom. You're exchanging your freedom for money, and the whole point was to get money to increase your freedom. So if you lose sight of the real purpose, then you can easily fall into traps.

Hell yeah. And, something I JUST realized is, that you also OUTSOURCE YOUR THINKING. You automatically take every word these people say for granted and stop thinking for yourself. It went so far that I got so tangled up that I even asked for advice on how to write emails or on how to drink my coffee.

I handed everything that makes me me over to somebody else.

Yikes.

I'm happy to hear that you're restarting if you want any pointers or advice at any point feel free to reach out. I own a direct response agency, and we work with many entrepreneurs online selling all kinds of products and services. I'd be happy to help you out with advice if you ever need it (not with our services because we're quite expensive and most people can't afford haha).

Wow, thanks for that - this sounds great!

I'll shoot you a PM.

1. Then you shouldn't try to sell your product by relating it to ROI. Maybe there are other benefits of having great graphic design - a website that you're proud of and that represents you, etc. Maybe it will be really hard to track the ROI and see how it improves it, but we all intuitively know that better, easier to understand design that is neat and clear WILL make you look more professional and bring in more buyers. And you have the stats to back it up. So don't give up on it. You've uncovered a problem. Solve it!! Start blogging about it, educate your market, and they'll flip out their wallets like you've never thought possible before. That's where it's at nowadays - education. It's all about that.

This is really interesting. I haven't looked at it that way - thanks for making me look The truth is that I am in two minds about graphic design. It is something that has kept me afloat twice in my life before, but it is something I don't enjoy 100% anymore. I now have to figure out if my love for it is diluted by my previous experiences, or if it is the actual skill/work that started to bore me.

I do agree 100% with you though.

What I am planning right now is not to cut it completely, but to stack my skills on top of each other and give it a unique twist, as @Andy Black suggests to do here.

2. Yes, the project is always finished and the client is always served, BUT... what's your referrals strategy? Every client should mean more clients. Have you thought about that? What about follow-up strategy? Keep your clients updated with news about graphic design through a newsletter. Then every once in a while you publish an article like "How A Well Designed Brochure Can Increase Your Revenue" and offer them a discount coupon for a brochure. If you build your list out the right way, these people are going to buy from you...

Good spot - caught me there. I neglected referrals as well as educating my existing clients with a weekly newsletter. Definitely something I could have done much better.

What I did do was monthly offers: I would decide upon a deal of the month, pick a product (for instance a T-Shirt, or a shopping bag), offer them the design at a discount and also handle the production. They only had to say yes and have it delivered to their doors.

Although it was a super warm list of around 35 existing clients that were also paying me at that time, nobody every took me up on this. So either I got the products wrong, the execution wrong, or it was just something that wouldn't work in my specific case.

Remember - don't run from problems. The obstacle IS the way.

Again, 100% agreed. It's just sometimes that you have to have the distance to say: "Hell, f*ck it. This doesn't work. Let's change it." It's something that I realized when listening to Dan Norris "This is the Answer." Many things resonated in this book (2 hour audio book). Because working hard on solving the wrong problems will not result in the desired outcome.

I think only experience will tell - I won't give up ;-)

Thanks again for your comment, this really helped.

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

Some things that dawned on me over the last days:
"If you stop being a student of entrepreneurship, you start being an entrepreneur."

This is taken from Dan Norris new book "This is the Answer." and resonated a lot. I put myself in a position where I switched off my brain and looked for answers all around.

The truth is...

...nobody has them, except...

...Y.O.U.

Every single situation on an entrepreneurial journey is different. What worked for others, might work for me too, but it is more likely it won't. It is for me to figure out ways to make things work, because this is what entrepreneurship is about.

Entrepreneurship is a position of leadership by definition, so don't put yourself in the backseat of somebody. Lead by figuring things out for yourself.

Now it even makes more sense why certain things have never worked for me... UpWork, flipping used items, affiliate marketing, etc. Looking back, the best thing I can do now starting all over is to move as quickly as never before.

Because it's about trial and error to find the sweet spot and the sooner I find it, the better it will be for me. It's not a scientific equation, it is a wild ride with loads of lessons, experiences, failures and wins.

I doubted myself so much that I was ready to f*ck everything and go back to a job. Until I realized that entrepreneurship is not a personality trait (good with numbers, good with people, outspoken, etc.), but a way of thinking. I realized that I ultimately cannot run from it. So better get to it right away.

Over the last 3 days I realized that I actually need to double down on what I thought is stopping me from breaking through.

So, after a bit of blah blah, what are my next action steps?

• I will finish my concrete framework for my offer this week. I call it a framework because it's just a hypothesis I want to test. The market will tell me how to adjust.
• I will spend exactly one week (next week) to find a new client for this new offer. If I don't, I will pivot. No business cards, no logo, no website, no bullshit.

What happened meanwhile?

• Closed a deal for €500 for a brand design and got paid in advance this time, which was a nice experience.
• Closed a smaller deal for €100 probably resulting in more work later on. But if not, no worries. Give without expect anything in return.
• Will start working on a €1000 deal that is still open from the previous month.
• All of this will give me a bit of peace of mind.

Stuff to ponder?

• I have a new routine of going for a walk after lunch and listening to a podcast. I believe it was TopricalMBA #307 today and they talked about the idea of a SWAS = software WITH a service. Take a software (e.g.: Drip - the email marketing automation tool) and become the go to guy for that. This way, you tap into existing cashflows (people paying for the software already) and can deliver a much better service at a much better price than companies could get from in-house employees. Intersting...

Closing thought?
Who has the answers?
Nobody.
Go figure them out.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

100% agreed. Here's how it came to it... If you check this post here you'll see that I doubted myself for being a giver. I was taken advantage of for many years, in all areas of life. At one point, I thought, heck, I am too soft for this stuff.

My answer to this was: "Ok then, now it's only money that counts. I will only focus on money." This is how my head twisted this idea of being too giving into something more "business minded".

But that's resolved now ;-)

Yes, I see. The interesting bit is where does the "softness" come from? Why do you give?

Think about it...

Why is it that you want to give?

Seriously... just take a few moments and STOP what you're doing, and think about it.

Are you giving because others have something that you want, and giving is your way of obtaining it? Or perhaps of not losing it if you already have it?

Or are you giving because it's something that comes from deep inside... you are overflowing with something, whatever it is, and so you give... you get it out?

Because the two forms of giving are very different... one is giving from weakness, because you're looking for something to fulfil you on the outside, and giving is merely the means of getting it, and the other is giving from strength, because you have too much and it overflows...

And then... if you are giving from weakness, the real issue lies deeper. And until you find that strength within you, until you discover that you yourself are incredibly rich (maybe not financially yet), you will keep searching for something to fulfil you on the outside... and you will remain a slave to other people, since they will have the keys to the kingdom...

Hell yeah. And, something I JUST realized is, that you also OUTSOURCE YOUR THINKING. You automatically take every word these people say for granted and stop thinking for yourself. It went so far that I got so tangled up that I even asked for advice on how to write emails or on how to drink my coffee.

I handed everything that makes me me over to somebody else.

Yikes.

Yes... why did you outsource your thinking? What's the advantage out of that? Because there must be an advantage, why were you doing it?

What do you get by not having to think? You avoid making decisions to begin with... others make them for you. And what's the advantage of that? You no longer have to question yourself. And what's the advantage of that? You no longer get to experience fear and anxiety... When you no longer have to choose between A and B, you're no longer anxious which choice is going to be better than the other... You will no longer experience those ugly and nasty feelings of fear...

So outsourcing your thinking is a way to deal with fear. Find another way to deal with fear... and then this won't ever be a problem for you again.

This is really interesting. I haven't looked at it that way - thanks for making me look The truth is that I am in two minds about graphic design. It is something that has kept me afloat twice in my life before, but it is something I don't enjoy 100% anymore. I now have to figure out if my love for it is diluted by my previous experiences, or if it is the actual skill/work that started to bore me.

I do agree 100% with you though.

What I am planning right now is not to cut it completely, but to stack my skills on top of each other and give it a unique twist, as @Andy Black suggests to do here.

I don't "enjoy" many aspects of my work. I think there are always things you don't enjoy. It's not enjoyable per say to work out. It's hard, it's painful, it F*cking hurts man! You have to push yourself through feeling that you can't go on... it's not easy. Entrepreneurship is not much different. You will struggle, and you will suffer. So why do it?

The most mundane answer for me is that you will suffer less than if you hold a job. If you hold a job, you won't feel the fear, but the risks will be there... getting fired and not being able to provide for your family (because remember, you don't know how to earn money another way), getting humiliated at work, being forced to do something that you don't like... is that the kind of life you'd want to live, or would you be willing to face your fear to discover another kind of life on the other side of fear?

It's also useful to remember that you should be afraid of both A and B... typically we're afraid only of one thing, and forget about the other. Say you're afraid of a surgery (option A). Typically you forget to also be afraid of option B - not having the surgery. Many times carefully looking at my fear actually made me realise that I fear one option more than the other, and one option is riskier than the other. That has helped me take many decisions.

Good spot - caught me there. I neglected referrals as well as educating my existing clients with a weekly newsletter. Definitely something I could have done much better.

What I did do was monthly offers: I would decide upon a deal of the month, pick a product (for instance a T-Shirt, or a shopping bag), offer them the design at a discount and also handle the production. They only had to say yes and have it delivered to their doors.

Although it was a super warm list of around 35 existing clients that were also paying me at that time, nobody every took me up on this. So either I got the products wrong, the execution wrong, or it was just something that wouldn't work in my specific case.

I think the issue is that the products weren't fulfilling a need. They weren't solving a problem. I mean if I hire you to design a brochure for me (let's say), and then you advertise a T-Shirt design to me, why should I care? What's in it for me? If you don't educate your market before you sell, nobody is going to buy. Remember: people who buy graphic design etc. are typically people who own businesses in some form or another. This is a tough market. They're not the kind of people that you can sell Reiki crystals to just because they look good... There are such people as well out there, but they're unlikely to be the kind of people who pay you for graphic design. So you must create products aimed at these people - things that will be useful TO THEM.

This is the biggest problem I encounter at the agency. Most people struggle because of having an offer that doesn't fulfill a market need. Look at the stats... 42% of startups fail because there is no market need... people create a product, and then FAIL to find a market for it... because they approached it the wrong way around.

You need to start understanding your market. Are these the kind of people who think very rationally and long before taking a decision? Do they buy on impulse? What are their needs? What are their problems?

It's just sometimes that you have to have the distance to say: "Hell, f*ck it. This doesn't work. Let's change it."

Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs come not from giving up your goal, but changing the methods you're using to achieve it. There is a time for giving up, and a time for persisting... the challenge that few people know the answer to is when to give up, and when to persist...

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYYJDsj-rzI

This video contains much the same message that you have realised (even though it's more about life in general) - there are no Teachers in this. Entrepreneurship is a lonely road, and you have to figure out things for yourself. Every entrepreneur has figured out HIS or HER way... and they have barely managed to do that. Whatever they have figured out may have been saving grace for them, but may be poisoned water for you. Ultimately, YOU ALONE are responsible for your failure or success, regardless of what other people advise you...

 

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[Vadim26]

@Nicoknowsbest sorry to hear about your story, Nico. I’m glad you are back on track and restarting!

I’ve had similar “horror” story, where I was approached by a friendly gentlemen dressed in a suit in the business section of the book store and was offered some coaching to become wealthy.. turns out (5-6 meetings later) it was freaking AMWAY and I was being suckered into it.

I doubted myself so much that I was ready to f*ck everything and go back to a job. Until I realized that entrepreneurship is not a personality trait (good with numbers, good with people, outspoken, etc.), but a way of thinking. I realized that I ultimately cannot run from it. So better get to it right away

Absolutely this! There’s no going back, once you’ve taken the red entrepreneurial pill.

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

Yes, I see. The interesting bit is where does the "softness" come from? Why do you give?

Think about it...

Why is it that you want to give?

Seriously... just take a few moments and STOP what you're doing, and think about it.

Are you giving because others have something that you want, and giving is your way of obtaining it? Or perhaps of not losing it if you already have it?

Or are you giving because it's something that comes from deep inside... you are overflowing with something, whatever it is, and so you give... you get it out?

Because the two forms of giving are very different... one is giving from weakness, because you're looking for something to fulfil you on the outside, and giving is merely the means of getting it, and the other is giving from strength, because you have too much and it overflows...

And then... if you are giving from weakness, the real issue lies deeper. And until you find that strength within you, until you discover that you yourself are incredibly rich (maybe not financially yet), you will keep searching for something to fulfil you on the outside... and you will remain a slave to other people, since they will have the keys to the kingdom...

These lines stang me a bit to be honest. First, I felt confused that you even brought this up. I know you pushed a button because of the way I felt after reading it. I didn't really understand what was going on, so I decided to let this rest in my mind for a few days and observe.

And observing I did.

I have no idea how you spotted this, but you are spot on @Black_Dragon43. After looking at my past experiences as well as my status quo, I had to realize that a lot of my giving (not everything though) has come from a position of weakness.

There is a pattern that looks like this: I seem to be able to connect with many people due to "having too much". It is what you describe as the position of strength. For some reason, many relationships, no matter if business or private then turn into me giving from a position of weakness.

Because I think I am not enough?

I am still getting to the root of this (which is kind of hard without an outsider's take on it), but I am putting together the pieces day by day. The biggest realization was that it happens to me on all areas of my life. As you said, other people have the key to my castle and I realized this because I am emotionally pretty affected by what others do/say.

Now that I have discovered a deeper issue, do you have any idea of how to proceed in this @Black_Dragon43?

Yes... why did you outsource your thinking? What's the advantage out of that? Because there must be an advantage, why were you doing it?

What do you get by not having to think? You avoid making decisions to begin with... others make them for you. And what's the advantage of that? You no longer have to question yourself. And what's the advantage of that? You no longer get to experience fear and anxiety... When you no longer have to choose between A and B, you're no longer anxious which choice is going to be better than the other... You will no longer experience those ugly and nasty feelings of fear...

So outsourcing your thinking is a way to deal with fear. Find another way to deal with fear... and then this won't ever be a problem for you again.

Again, good catch. The explanation I found for myself now is that I am somebody who easily gets caught in his own head. If you asked me what my biggest weakness in business was, I'd say: execution. I tend to overthink and therefore kill any sort of momentum I managed to build up.

This overthinking concerns many aspects - from detailed business questions to overall life path decisions. To date, I haven't really found a means to deal with this efficiently, despite trying various strategies, such as mental training, meditation, etc.

So in this specific scenario I was happy that somebody who walked the walk would lead me the way to success. I thought to myself: "I tried so many things, failed with so many ideas/strategies that when somebody tells me what to do to reach my goals, I'll follow it to the "T". Big mistake.

How do you deal with fear?

I don't "enjoy" many aspects of my work. I think there are always things you don't enjoy. It's not enjoyable per say to work out. It's hard, it's painful, it F*cking hurts man! You have to push yourself through feeling that you can't go on... it's not easy. Entrepreneurship is not much different. You will struggle, and you will suffer. So why do it?

The most mundane answer for me is that you will suffer less than if you hold a job. If you hold a job, you won't feel the fear, but the risks will be there... getting fired and not being able to provide for your family (because remember, you don't know how to earn money another way), getting humiliated at work, being forced to do something that you don't like... is that the kind of life you'd want to live, or would you be willing to face your fear to discover another kind of life on the other side of fear?

It's also useful to remember that you should be afraid of both A and B... typically we're afraid only of one thing, and forget about the other. Say you're afraid of a surgery (option A). Typically you forget to also be afraid of option B - not having the surgery. Many times carefully looking at my fear actually made me realise that I fear one option more than the other, and one option is riskier than the other. That has helped me take many decisions.

Gotcha and agree - it's not all sunshine and rainbows. I still think that the bigger part of it should be enjoyable. The metaphor of working out is a good one and the weird thing is that the pain when going beyond thresholds in training is something I enjoy doing. Weird thing, right?

I agree with your view on why anybody would quit the comfort of a job. Part of what you are describing here is why I quit mine initially and started building a business. I wasn't aware of looking at both possible outcomes of a decision though. This is definitely something I will start doing from today.

I think the issue is that the products weren't fulfilling a need. They weren't solving a problem. I mean if I hire you to design a brochure for me (let's say), and then you advertise a T-Shirt design to me, why should I care? What's in it for me? If you don't educate your market before you sell, nobody is going to buy. Remember: people who buy graphic design etc. are typically people who own businesses in some form or another. This is a tough market. They're not the kind of people that you can sell Reiki crystals to just because they look good... There are such people as well out there, but they're unlikely to be the kind of people who pay you for graphic design. So you must create products aimed at these people - things that will be useful TO THEM.

This is the biggest problem I encounter at the agency. Most people struggle because of having an offer that doesn't fulfill a market need. Look at the stats... 42% of startups fail because there is no market need... people create a product, and then FAIL to find a market for it... because they approached it the wrong way around.

You need to start understanding your market. Are these the kind of people who think very rationally and long before taking a decision? Do they buy on impulse? What are their needs? What are their problems?

100% agreed. Looking back, MOST deals sold and projects completed were kind of vanity projects. Because ultimately, do you really NEED a logo to be in business. No. Do you need business cards? No.

Also, I had clients from many various industries, serving various target groups and fulfilling a bunch of needs. I definitely did not manage to really dig into their needs and give them what they really want. Why? Hmm... Not sure actually.

Looking back, I think a good way to proceed is to hustle to 1x while looking out for specific needs to be fulfilled, either within only one industry or maybe even within more. What I will change though is focusing on serving a specific need of a specific market in a specific way.

Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs come not from giving up your goal, but changing the methods you're using to achieve it. There is a time for giving up, and a time for persisting... the challenge that few people know the answer to is when to give up, and when to persist...

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYYJDsj-rzI

This video contains much the same message that you have realised (even though it's more about life in general) - there are no Teachers in this. Entrepreneurship is a lonely road, and you have to figure out things for yourself. Every entrepreneur has figured out HIS or HER way... and they have barely managed to do that. Whatever they have figured out may have been saving grace for them, but may be poisoned water for you. Ultimately, YOU ALONE are responsible for your failure or success, regardless of what other people advise you...

This has started dawning on me over the past few days. It is almost an art to know when to do what. Thanks for the video, I had to watch it a few times to really get it - and I believe if I watch it another few times, I'll discover even more layers.

@Nicoknowsbest sorry to hear about your story, Nico. I’m glad you are back on track and restarting!

I’ve had similar “horror” story, where I was approached by a friendly gentlemen dressed in a suit in the business section of the book store and was offered some coaching to become wealthy.. turns out (5-6 meetings later) it was freaking AMWAY and I was being suckered into it.

Thanks for your words and support @Vadim26! Glad you got out when you did. How have things been going for you since?

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

So, after a bit of blah blah, what are my next action steps?

• I will finish my concrete framework for my offer this week. I call it a framework because it's just a hypothesis I want to test. The market will tell me how to adjust.
• I will spend exactly one week (next week) to find a new client for this new offer. If I don't, I will pivot. No business cards, no logo, no website, no bullshit.

What happened meanwhile?

• Closed a deal for €500 for a brand design and got paid in advance this time, which was a nice experience.
• Closed a smaller deal for €100 probably resulting in more work later on. But if not, no worries. Give without expect anything in return.
• Will start working on a €1000 deal that is still open from the previous month.
• All of this will give me a bit of peace of mind.

Progress meanwhile:

• My framework offer is finished
• No new clients yet
• Managed to increase MRR to 4 figures/mth with an existing client
• Working on a whitelabel deal with a local agency owner

 

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[Andy Black]

Are you giving because others have something that you want, and giving is your way of obtaining it? Or perhaps of not losing it if you already have it?

Or are you giving because it's something that comes from deep inside... you are overflowing with something, whatever it is, and so you give... you get it out?

Interesting. I’ve always said that I can’t NOT do what I do. If I don’t get my thoughts and writing down on paper then my head will get all jammed up. I need to get it out to get head space, and it has the added benefit of giving me more clarity.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

Now that I have discovered a deeper issue, do you have any idea of how to proceed in this @Black_Dragon43?

I would say to train yourself to be aware and notice it as it is happening. The moment you notice something, you have already disengaged from it, it is no longer part of your identity, of who you are.

This overthinking concerns many aspects - from detailed business questions to overall life path decisions. To date, I haven't really found a means to deal with this efficiently, despite trying various strategies, such as mental training, meditation, etc.

From my experience, overthinking comes from not knowing how to take decisions in a particular situation. I don't mean not knowing what decisions to take, but rather not knowing HOW (the process of taking) decisions.

In business and entrepreneurship, we often deal with unknowns. Sometimes because we don't know how to do things, and other times because we don't have access to the information we need.

A large part of it is learning how to deal with these unknowns, without getting hurt.

Because that's what's causing most of us to overthink: FEAR of pain, getting hurt, etc.

And when you don't know how to approach a problem efficiently, then you keep thinking and thinking and thinking hoping that you will find out, and thereby reduce your FEAR and avoid getting HURT.

So overthinking from my experience tends to be a secondary occurrence.

And it's solved by dealing with the root cause - which is your response to fear.

How do you deal with fear?

Good question.

I have various strategies which I will outline below.

1. Sometimes I reframe the fear within a larger context. What's this fear trying to protect me from? What's the worst that can happen in the situation? Will I survived if the worst happens? Is it worth the potential reward?

2. Sometimes I remember that I'm fearing the wrong thing. I should fear not doing X instead of doing it. Or the other way around.

3. Sometimes I face it and cover my behind as much as possible. Sometimes you cannot progress without facing your fears. And you cannot discover what you need to succeed without getting, to a degree or another, hurt in the process. All that matters in these situations is that you have a plan. Say you've never done ads in the past. You can't expect to get it right from the first go, and the more you play with it, the more you'll learn. At the same time, you don't want to make your learning more expensive than necessary or more expensive than you can afford.

4. Sometimes I do nothing and wait it out... sometimes I'm just confused, and it takes awhile for things to settle down, and for me to be able to think clearly. Many times this is the kind of fear that is produced by shock... when something goes wrong, but you totally didn't expect that. That's shock.

But...

Here's my best way of dealing with the unknown and the fear that results from it -

Act like a scientist.

Make a hypothesis. Test it out SMARTLY. Fail. Learn. Repeat.

There was a time when we had no clue how the world worked. So what did we, as a species, do?

We made mistakes. And we learned from them. And our understanding improved a little bit.

So all that we have today is the result of repeating this process. It's an improvement over natural evolution since it's not entirely blind. It's guided by our mind, by logic, and by our rationality.

But logic without action doesn't go anywhere. You still need feedback from reality. It will help you understand where you're going wrong.

And when you bring both logic and action together, and you repeat the process, you'll steer yourself to success. Without relying on authorities. Without taking for granted what others say.

And why did I say test it out SMARTLY? Because you don't want to choose a way of testing it that will take you out of business or cause you significant losses if you fail. That would make the potential learning not worth it.

So hopefully this gives you some food for thought before our call tomorrow Wish you a goodnight!

 

[nickgraham1234]

Hey Nico,
Well, I am glad I bumped this thread a while ago. That was an interesting read to say the least. It sounds like you are already getting back on track. Just remember, all of the events in your life, big or small will shape you into who you are. This bump in the road is just a part of your journey. I wish you the best of luck going above and beyond that 10K month, I believe you can do it. I'll be following your progress (please keep us updated)
Godspeed my friend.
Nick

 

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[Nicoknowsbest]

Thanks @nickgraham1234 - I am very thankful you did. This brought up some important comments, thoughts and engagement.

Agreed. Somebody recently told me that if there was no pressure, diamonds would just be coal dust.

Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it. I will keep you posted.

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

Update:

It's been a few weeks already since my last update. I am working on getting into a continuous rhythm of keeping track of what is happening week by week.

Where do I stand?

Revenues:

• My MRR currently is €1k. This is below what I need every month to stay afloat (=1x). I am looking to bump this up to €2k.
• Just finished two bigger graphic design projects this week. One was paid upfront, the other I billed today.
• Except for my MRR, revenues fluctuate big time right now.

Offer:

• I am moving away from doing bespoke graphic design work if it's not part of an MRR deal.
• I decided to combine my graphic design skills with my Google Ads skills.
• I am looking at video and especially Youtube at the moment.
• The rest gets left behind for now.

Mindset:

• Since I realised I am giving from a position of weakness, I worked hard on changing this. The book "Give and Take" by Adam Grant helped with that. I feel more stable now and think I got on top of this.
• I fell into a huge emotional hole when waking up after the ride described above. All that time I was so focused on the end goal that I forgot to enjoy my time meanwhile. So for now, I am focused on enjoying the ride too.

Things that helped along the way:

Dan Norris new book "This is the answer". It's a great, short book that helped me get some things straight in my head.

Key take-aways:

• Nobody has the answers, it's your responsibility to forge your own path
• Entrepreneurship is such a big risk that the potential upside has to be rewarding enough
• It's not a mindset, it is a personality trait - embrace it and live it

Perry Marshall's Marketing DNA helped me sharpen my view on what I do and made me realise why I have a hard time doing certain things.

Key take-aways:

• My biggest strength seems to be that I am very balanced in everything
• I shouldn't be doing quite a few things I am doing on a daily basis

James Schramko's book "Work Less, Earn More." helped me get order in my working day and actually focus on what I should be doing.

Key take-aways:

• Work less, be more effective, not more efficient
• Create decision making filters
• Be kind to people, but ruthless with your time

A few of the TropicalMBA podcasts

• #474: Sell things you cannot fulfil yourself to avoid facing the E-Myth problem
• #337: Decide what YOU want from life, not your spouse, family or anybody else
• #321: Focus on solving one problem in one way delivery one solution
• #311: Work with realistic profit margins when outsourcing
• #218: Make a hypothesis, get to market asap and pivot when necessary

Next Steps:

• Get MRR up to €2k, 'cause you gotta stay in it to win it
• Get a few videos done in order to get comfortable with it
• Look at Youtube