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    Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini

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Most liked posts in thread: Only one life to live - Image from Reddit

  1. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Most of the folks that like and agree with this meme are the same folks that say my books (and my message) are a scam.

    They aren't interested in change, they're interested in confirming their victim identity through shared communal misery.

    It's sad.

    But the answers are out there. And it's why I keep writing.
     
  2. AshrafI
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    AshrafI Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    They just haven't read MJ's books.
     
  3. Silverfox148
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    Silverfox148 Bronze Contributor

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    There is hope for the Reddit poster, they are farther along than most, in that at least they recognize there is a void, most don't even recognize that, there is much hope for the poster actually, they are actually in the 4th stage of depression in the 5 stages of grief, they are unplugging, most get stuck in denial.

    Next step is acceptance and making something meaningful out of the reality that is life, if we desire to transcend into something greater spiritually we must go through these stages. The void(really our pre-frontal cortex) must be confronted and while it cannot be ever be conquered it must be recognized it is there and one must be mindful of it, just as if you were locked with a Lion in a cage, you cannot ever really turn your back on it.

    We are born with the key to escape our own prison, when we are children we use it often to escape our prison and play outside to our hearts content, eventually though society convinces us that is not wise to use our key because of what others may think and use it less and less, as the years go by we believe hear this and we begin to believe the key is possessed by others/society , but the truth is we hold the key the whole time.

    It is never too late to become free.
     
  4. Silverfox148
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    Silverfox148 Bronze Contributor

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    My son is extremely stubborn, he is perhaps the most stubborn kid I have met in my life.

    It's a balance, I let my son pursue his own interests in half his life, he bothered me for some time to get into Tae-Kwon-Do, I agreed once he was old enough to take it seriously and it's a sizable cost actually/good school/very good instructor. The only condition, he has to give it 150% every single class, and if not he will hear from me, I am not afraid to confront him/get in his face if I see laziness, he is free to drop out at any time if he wishes and he knows so without any judgement from me. He doesn't because he enjoys it, he is 7 years old and has one belt away from a black belt, he can't dominate yet because he is young and going up against bigger kids , but he is the best version of himself at that moment in time. I don't compare him against other kids only against himself and if there is improvement even if only 1% I am satisfied.

    On the other side of the coin, there are other things he has to do which he doesn't like to do, vacuumn our cars, wash them, water plants, clean, pull weeds, etc. He sees me do the same so as I never ask him to do something to I wouldn't do, he knows I give it 100% in almost any area of life, he can see with his own eyes, am I the best absolutely not, but I try to improve everyday also. This is hard work to be congruent most of time, kid's know when you are bullshitting them a mile away, you cannot fool them as they observe behavior and not words. If they see you are congruent with what you say and do, they will respect you and listen to you.

    He didn't say anything but he was watching me hobble around last night around the house after going for a crazy mountain run and I pulled/hurt a calf muscle. I used to be a big trail runner but haven't run in about a year or so as I have been switched primarily to weightlifting. I am starting again and ran at a trail which I do not have the conditioning for, I completed it anyway at the cost of hurting myself just via willpower. When they see this stuff, they realize you are serious and in return they get serious themselves, knowing you won't put up with cupcake bullshit.
     
  5. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Admin Post
    That's because Hollywood has trained their minds to think superhero status is an EVENT, not a PROCESS.

    Batman became Batman doing a couple of pull-ups in a subterranean cave.
    Spiderman became Spiderman getting bit by a spider.
    Rey became an all powerful Jedi by finding a lightsaber.

    No process, all short events that took hours, at most days.

    People aren't willing to endure months or years, but only hours and days.

    +1
     
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  6. Silverfox148
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    Silverfox148 Bronze Contributor

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    I would caution knee jerk judgement on these guys, it's easy to dismiss them as lazy, useless, entitled, etc.

    I used to think the same as I moved out of my parents home at 18 to go to university , I had grown up in a very rural area and didn't really have any of the tools to be successful my only advantage was perseverance and luck but mostly not giving up I achieved most my goals at the time against all odds, given I had come to the U.S. at the age of 8 not knowing one F*cking word of English, I slept under a crib as a child as my parents could only afford to heat one room of the trailer house, and we all slept there. This was an upgrade from my home country as we had it even worse there now that I think about it. We were really poor, used to pick up cans for school supplies.

    I used to judge these guys also as lazy looking at it from my POV, but now that I have kids I realize it's not really their fault, it's really on the parents. When you grow up without any challenges or suffering you don't learn any perseverance, you don't build any character, you are unwilling to bash your head against the wall to meet your task, you are in an artificial environment a bubble. When these guys get out into their world, they can't find meaning to it because they have been living a big artificial lie and they get into a depressive state. These types of people will only grow in numbers, when you take a look at all the F*cking cupcakes that are being raised any weak parents who don't want them to feel uncomfortable because it "hurts" their self esteem, it's going to be something never before seen in human history.
     
  7. The Abundant Man
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    The Abundant Man Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]
     
  8. NovaAria
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    NovaAria Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

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    I recommended TFM to several of my friends, even went out of my way to personally give a copy to one of them.
    None of them bothered opening it yet, despite seeing the kind of changes I went through after reading it and everyone commending me for it.

    Maybe once they see my millions and tell me for the millionth time how lucky I was, and me reminding them of the book, they might actually read it.
    Maybe.
     
  9. Longinus
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    Longinus Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    This was so me in my early twenties. I hated the whole world, but actually I hated myself. The only thing that kept me going was making very dark music and the small success I made with it.

    It was until my mid twenties that I found my way to some guru books and later to TMF.

    Fast forward a couple years, I can spend my time like I want. Before I didn't believe that was even possible for me.

    And now it all makes sense when I hear somebody say: "you become what you think of most":

    People being stuck in their jobs, think most of being stuck in their jobs.
    People that have no meaning of existence, think most of having no meaning of existence.
    People that are massive failures, think most of being massive failures.

    TL;DR: Be very careful what you think most of.
     
  10. jasoncuellar123
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    jasoncuellar123 I’m probably awake. Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I’m too tired to feel sorry for myself.
     
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  11. Charnell
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    Charnell Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    So most of the time when I'm doing work I'll have YouTube videos playing with documentaries, music, cooking shows, whatever. One day I went down a rabbit hole and there's a whole subsect/micro-community of millennials called Doomers, 30-Year-Old Boomers, Bloomers, etc.

    This looks like a Doomer profile. Basically given up hope on everything and drudges through life loathing everything around them and being a general loser. Sleeping until whenever, have a dead end job, spends the night playing video games alone, going on walks alone smoking ciggys, wearing dark clothing, on the verge of suicide but wont do it because they think no one will go to their funeral.

    You watch these videos and read the comments, and it's just depressing.

     
  12. Invictus
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    Invictus Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    This attitude just...infuriates me.

    If you think that life is misery and terrible, why not give your free time to a soup kitchen or volunteer somewhere?

    "There is no magical third act where I'm the star in some fantasy adventure."

    You could be a star (or at least a big character). Give your time to help the homeless, or dogs, or children and you will be one of those saviors.

    I'm not even saying "Oh, grind and you can achieve so much."!

    If you've already decided that you won't 'achieve' anything in life or that it's impossible to without luck/connections, fine. Since your life is misery and pointless anyway, give it to a cause that helps others.
     
  13. Longinus
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    Longinus Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    If you want to keep it private, it usually means you still struggle with some demons. I don't.

    I had a good youth and very loving parents. Even they went through harsh financial times, they managed to get their five children fed and educated.

    I struggled during my adolescence like so many people. Uncertainty quickly led to something to cover this up, in my case extreme metal music combined with extreme clothing (high boots, leather jacket, long hair, metalshirts, this gives a good indication). Nihilism, misantrophy and flirts with extreme political views from both sides were where I believed in.

    I was a miserable frustrated boy who craved for female attention all the time. Feeling sorry for myself, being destructive (also towards myself) or extremely drunk were a few of my cries for attention. Makes me cringe when I think back about it.

    I saw myself as a worthless victim of this cruel big world and I just wanted the world to know about me.

    ==> Sounds familiar? This is the profile that terrorists and school shooters possess. Although I never had such plans or never felt any sympathy, I could identify with their frustrations. Just getting on the first page of every newspaper is dream coming true for these guys, even if they're dead afterwards.
    Stopping to spend attention to the "killers of school shootouts" is the only way how they can be stopped.

    For that reason, I started my own band which led to success which ironically led to less uncertainty.

    I realized I created something which people loved. But I was still mad and broke.

    Later my friend and bandmate shared books with me like RDPD, Napoleon Hill etc. First I was completely into the LoA and believed I could do anything as long as I believed it. I quit my job and believed I could make a commercial hit song within a few months. That stuff never happened, but at least there was an evolution in my self-belief.

    Later in my life I found the "right" books (TMF) that put me on the right path to where I'm now. Not only the book was important for who I'm now, this forum has also made a tremendous impact on the way I think.

    Without the last, I don't know where I would be right now but certainly not where I am now.
     
  14. Ernman
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    Ernman Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Despite being very new to this forum, please allow me to be so bold as to add...that's also why so many of us are here with you MJ. Some of us want to help you in making a difference.
     
  15. Brian Suh
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    Brian Suh Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    My goal is to make a book discussing how depression isn’t a brain chemical imbalance but it’s bexause your literal god damn soul is being pulled apart by society and outside influences. Once you have your soul intact and firm, life is an endless adventure where your filled with gratitude and joy. I’ve been on two sides of the coin and it is the difference between swimming in a shallow pool with piss and poop and swimming in a clear turquoise water lake filled with surges of waves and currents that makes it a blast to swim while challenging and stimulating. Life is all about perspective.
     
  16. Silverfox148
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    Silverfox148 Bronze Contributor

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    While not a black piller, I actually think this philosophy can do some good for people. To accept it is pretty F*cking hard and is a very bitter pill to swallow. In my opinion it's better than pretending that everything is ok and following the society script and then waking up in your 30s/40s and finding out it was all bullshit.
    The key is accepting it and then moving past it, to accept and then the growth can be unlimited once you accept.

    Blackpill in the teens/20s at least has the chance to wake them up early, I wish I was F*cking black pill in my teens, I could have transitioned out of it in my early 20s and have gotten a solid 10 years of action and purpose instead of just following the script. Following the script in my opinion is worse than black pill, at least with blackpill you know right away something is F*cking wrong.
     
  17. rogue synthetic
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    rogue synthetic * Not actually Rutger Hauer Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I sympathize with the guy in the OP. No hate from me. That guy was me in another life.

    I know it's easy for us to say "but why don't they just realize that they can change and go build the next billion dollar company?"

    They don't see it that way.

    I'm glad that I found MJ's books because they were a big part in my coming to accept that the future can be yours if you work for it.

    But I had to come to those books ready to hear the message. If I'd come to them just a few years earlier, I'd have responded to MJ's message in the same way that some of our local skeptics have responded to Tony Robbins.

    When you think like these guys, there is no such thing as hope. You're so caught up in the gloom that you can't see the sun on a bright spring day. All that sunshine is just making shadows.

    It's sad, but it's also an entirely predictable consequence of the world we've all decided is great to live in. Lots of opportunity, and damn hard for a good chunk of the population to even realize it's there.

    This isn't a problem of education or learning more. It's a whole lot more to do with the expectations people are saddled with at most every waking moment, from parents to teachers to the idiots on TV and the bigger idiots on social media.

    You raise kids in a cesspool and you're surprised they notice that the world stinks.
     
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  18. PizzaOnTheRoof
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    PizzaOnTheRoof Probably Flipping Burgers Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    It's no coincidence that depression and suicide rates (especially in teen girls) have risen in conjunction with social media.

    Social media and Hollywood have severely skewed the minds of most young people. We're unconsciously programmed to expect a happy ending, that once we graduate high school we'll automatically become buff and attractive and all of our "enemies" will be destroyed.

    We're the superhero of our own movie, but only an extra in everyone else's.

    Not to mention the CONSTANT never-ending stimulus on tap from social media and smartphones. Kids think it's boring to just go outside and play in the dirt...smh
     
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  19. MHP368
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    MHP368 the man, the myth, the Pseudo-Apollodorus Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Or as thoreau put it "lives of quiet desperation"

    I wonder how that feeling expresses itself in a culture where endless reincarnation is taken as the basic accepted bigger picture like india?

    Actually maybe thats more depressing lol
     
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  20. MiloszR
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    MiloszR New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

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    upload_2019-4-12_16-7-47.png
     
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  21. PizzaOnTheRoof
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    PizzaOnTheRoof Probably Flipping Burgers Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I agree 100%.

    If there was one thing I could change about my childhood, I would want MORE struggle, MORE challenges, MORE competitiveness. My parents never pushed me to join a sport/club, or to get a car/job. They raised me to be a cupcake.

    I suffer from a disease called average...still searching for a cure...
     
  22. G-Man
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    G-Man Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    In the words of the eminent philosopher Betty Draper: Only boring people are bored.

    I used to get like this when I was young. It took me while to see the abject selfishness of it. When you're depressed that life is so boring, what you're actually revealing is that you believe the world, and by extension other people, exist to keep you stimulated. It's clothed in a certain Mencken-like philosophical coat, but it's really just garden variety selfishness.

    I remember hearing Tom Sowell say once that almost all of what passes for idealism in this world is just narcissism in disguise. I used to think that was a gross over-simplification, but the older I get, the more I see the truth of it.
     
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  23. The Abundant Man
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    The Abundant Man Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I was the opposite. My parents tried to get me to do stuff but I didn't want to. I feel bad because I was being a little s**t and am still kinda am.

    I'm a very stubborn individual.

    Whenever my parents push me to do something I go against them but if it's something I really want to do then yeah I'll go for it.

    I like to do things on my own and figure things out by myself.
     
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  24. Ernman
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    Ernman Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Many years ago I was running through some trails on the island of Guam when I heard a gun shot nearby. I soon found a young man who had committed suicide. That image sticks with me to this day. What if I had just been a little faster or started just a few minutes earlier that day. I wonder if I could have made a difference in that young man's life.
     
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  25. AshrafI
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    AshrafI Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Exactly the same problem here, I bought TMF for my cousin and highly recommended it to him and told him that it won't affect me if you don't read the book because I've already read it, and you will be the one missing out on a goldmine of information. He hasn't even started reading it. He saw me on this forum and making my cold-calling script, and the first thing he said was,
    "Why are you doing this? Is there any point in doing this? You haven't made any money from it. You should be studying to get a high paying job."

    The problem with these people is that all they care about is the event and they don't want to hear about the process.
     
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