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Now is your chance to tell me how much I suck at copywriting
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<blockquote data-quote="Tom H." data-source="post: 910623" data-attributes="member: 74910"><p>Thanks to feedback and editing from [USER=83132]@Keepg01ng[/USER] and [USER=47734]@Black_Dragon43[/USER] I heavily re-worked my sales letter.</p><p></p><p>I'm thinking that the letter below will go in the front of the book, pitching them on the bonuses for joining the newsletter, and maybe I can use my bullets about the different book formats to create a second letter to put at the end of the book.</p><p></p><p>I really appreciate the feedback I got, I think it stopped me from publishing a pretty weak sales pitch to the Kindle store.</p><p></p><p>---</p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">Mystery Bonus For Chess Fans Only</span></p><p></p><p><em>...which bonus will you get?</em></p><p></p><p>Try your luck, it's your turn to spin the choice. I don't know which bonus you will get, but I know you'll get lucky. Our bonuses are hard to find and rarely for sale, you can't go wrong. You might get one of these:</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Special editions of </strong><u><strong>Choose Your Move</strong></u><strong> chess fiction bring historic chess games to life in an interactive fiction format</strong></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><u>Winning Position Worksheets</u> put you in the shoes of chess legends. Can you convert their advantages into wins against the computer?</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><u><strong>Chess History Highlights</strong></u><strong> feature players, events and historic moments in educational infographic posters</strong></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">In exclusive <u>Chess Coach Commentaries</u> top coaches share their thoughts and analysis while reviewing both classic games and hidden gems</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><u><strong>Illustrated Opening Guides</strong></u><strong> bring the "big ideas" and the must know lines of chess openings into beautiful infographic posters</strong></li> </ul><p>Or you might get something new, we're coming up with new ideas all the time. My team and I develop these bonuses because they're fun for me, and if you're a chess fan (or looking for a gift for a chess fan), you're going to have a lot of fun too.</p><p></p><p>How do you get your free bonus?</p><p></p><p>By joining my daily newsletter about whatever is on my mind related to being a chess fan — my favorite players, your favorite players, the struggle of being terrible at chess...</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Why chess fans should pay attention to Magnus Carlsen's girlfriend</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Constant debate over whether or not Paul Morphy is in-fact the greatest chess player who ever lived</strong></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Highlights and "today I learned" from the greatest chess books of all time</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Why the latest Agadmator video is a must watch</strong></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The secret location of Antonio's old couch</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Who is your favorite player? and why is it Tal?</strong></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Re-living beautiful and terrifying moments in chess history</li> </ul><p>...you get the idea. And of course, I will also encourage you to spend money on Illustrated Chess, but only because it's a lot of value and very little money. You'll see for yourself that it's an impossibly good deal — no one else is going to give you <strong>thousands of books</strong> for <strong><em>less then one cent</em> </strong>each.</p><p></p><p>Joining the newsletter is easy, you only need to enter one field, and I've even made the website super simple so it loads easily on e-readers:</p><p></p><p><a href="https://www.illustratedchess.com/bonus">https://www.illustratedchess.com/bonus</a></p><p></p><p>Get your free bonus now while it's hot on your mind! Then send me a message and let me know if you got the one you were looking for.</p><p></p><p>Have fun,</p><p>Tom</p><p><a href="mailto:tom@illustratedchess.com">tom@illustratedchess.com</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tom H., post: 910623, member: 74910"] Thanks to feedback and editing from [USER=83132]@Keepg01ng[/USER] and [USER=47734]@Black_Dragon43[/USER] I heavily re-worked my sales letter. I'm thinking that the letter below will go in the front of the book, pitching them on the bonuses for joining the newsletter, and maybe I can use my bullets about the different book formats to create a second letter to put at the end of the book. I really appreciate the feedback I got, I think it stopped me from publishing a pretty weak sales pitch to the Kindle store. --- [SIZE=5]Mystery Bonus For Chess Fans Only[/SIZE] [I]...which bonus will you get?[/I] Try your luck, it's your turn to spin the choice. I don't know which bonus you will get, but I know you'll get lucky. Our bonuses are hard to find and rarely for sale, you can't go wrong. You might get one of these: [LIST] [*][B]Special editions of [/B][U][B]Choose Your Move[/B][/U][B] chess fiction bring historic chess games to life in an interactive fiction format[/B] [*][U]Winning Position Worksheets[/U] put you in the shoes of chess legends. Can you convert their advantages into wins against the computer? [*][U][B]Chess History Highlights[/B][/U][B] feature players, events and historic moments in educational infographic posters[/B] [*]In exclusive [U]Chess Coach Commentaries[/U] top coaches share their thoughts and analysis while reviewing both classic games and hidden gems [*][U][B]Illustrated Opening Guides[/B][/U][B] bring the "big ideas" and the must know lines of chess openings into beautiful infographic posters[/B] [/LIST] Or you might get something new, we're coming up with new ideas all the time. My team and I develop these bonuses because they're fun for me, and if you're a chess fan (or looking for a gift for a chess fan), you're going to have a lot of fun too. How do you get your free bonus? By joining my daily newsletter about whatever is on my mind related to being a chess fan — my favorite players, your favorite players, the struggle of being terrible at chess... [LIST] [*]Why chess fans should pay attention to Magnus Carlsen's girlfriend [*][B]Constant debate over whether or not Paul Morphy is in-fact the greatest chess player who ever lived[/B] [*]Highlights and "today I learned" from the greatest chess books of all time [*][B]Why the latest Agadmator video is a must watch[/B] [*]The secret location of Antonio's old couch [*][B]Who is your favorite player? and why is it Tal?[/B] [*]Re-living beautiful and terrifying moments in chess history [/LIST] ...you get the idea. And of course, I will also encourage you to spend money on Illustrated Chess, but only because it's a lot of value and very little money. You'll see for yourself that it's an impossibly good deal — no one else is going to give you [B]thousands of books[/B] for [B][I]less then one cent[/I] [/B]each. Joining the newsletter is easy, you only need to enter one field, and I've even made the website super simple so it loads easily on e-readers: [URL]https://www.illustratedchess.com/bonus[/URL] Get your free bonus now while it's hot on your mind! Then send me a message and let me know if you got the one you were looking for. Have fun, Tom [EMAIL]tom@illustratedchess.com[/EMAIL] [/QUOTE]
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